The Over-treatment of Young People | Episode 162
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- čas přidán 2. 05. 2024
- This episode covers a lot of ground, emphasizing the complexities of therapy, the necessity for critical examination of conventional wisdom, and the importance of nurturing authentic relationships both inside the family and social circles (but more specifically, outside of the clinical setting).
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If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting include:
Episode 107 - What Your Teen is Trying to Tell You
• EPISODE 107: What Your...
Episode 110 - Pathologizing Normal: The Lure of Identity Labels & Diagnoses
• EPISODE 110: Pathologi...
Episode 122 - We Wrote a Book: When Kids Say They're Trans | A Guide for Thoughtful Parents
• EP 122: We Wrote A Boo...
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Welcome to coaching! I loved hearing Sasha share in the beginning. As a coach, the foundation is believing in the Resiluence built into each person, rather than believing in their fears. Are the fears there? Yes, but what if you believed in your resilience to provide the support you need to overcome your fears? It’s so positive…people aren’t slapped with a limiting label. Instead of a label, the resilient aspect of us witnesses the scared parts…empowerment! Blessings ladies! Great work!
A title for Stella’s motivational speaking series: “If you Follow Me.”
With a sequel called “Do You Know What I Mean?” lol I love Stella.
Please get Quentin Van Meter on!! Would love to hear his perspective
This was such a brilliant episode. The medicalization of our society directly leads to the pathologization of our society. Nothing just "is", everything needs to be diagnosed and treated. How we eat, breathe, sleep, love, dream....
Please organise a conference in New Zealand. It is very backward here. We need your intelligence and energy here. We need a kick in the ****. Our kids are drowning in the apathy of our flabby complacent "leaders". Look at the ACC scheme here and what that will mean for our vulnerable young people. I live in Dunedin in the South Island and a broke single mum. I want you to come to Christchurch. Big enough for a conference and a comparably cheap place to travel to and stay, hence financially strapped parents could come. You could give Australia a smack while you are in this neck of the woods. PLEEEEEASE!
Re: the personality traits of parents of ROGD kids, you might want to consider the parallels to the personality traits of people who are drawn into cults... if I remember rightly, it's high openness and high conscientiousness (of the big 5). Also, it was delightful to see you two exploring your differences because when I watch I see such strong alignment in your ethics, gentleness and compassion. It reminded me of the research into long term relationships... people are drawn together by their similarities but as the relationship matures they recognise and ruminate over their differences. Thank you for your work.
This episode was so great. I really remember the push to be a perfect mother with all those shows and from peers when my boys were young. As time went on, I have chilled out a bit. It really helps to know that I am not alone, Stella. The trend now seems to be child led parenting. If you talk to people, there seems to be a lot of trouble in the primary level of education. Could this new parenting be a factor?
I remember a woman who was at art school with me. She was 20 years older than we were, and she was in our group, but her life was obviously different. She said to me once that she saw a therapist or a psychologist because she didn't want to be a downer or put it on her friends. Though I respected her choice, I certainly get through things because of my girlfriends, and in time, I learned that it's sometimes okay to get through things on my own, too. I have done therapy, but it's something I did when I really needed it. I think people generally overthink today. I went because I didn't see a way out without talking about it. Both the therapy and time made whatever I felt go a way and made me learn about a bit about myself.
I believe in being a good enough mom, a good enough friend and therapy if you can't seem to snap out of something.
I wanted to add that I am very creative and artsy but in terms of clutter, organization, and the need for a change in background, I am more like Stella. 😊
I am 60yr old Transgender Male. When I was 16 my parents took me to a psychiatrist to help resolve some behavioral issues I was having. I was diagnosed as schizophrenic and started a bad path of medical care. I believe that the fact that I was not a "typical girl", I was very much a tomboy and my mother struggled with my behavior. I have had psychological therapy since I was 17, was diagnosed with PTSD in 2009. In 2020 the therapist I had asked me if anyone had ever mentioned the term transgender to me. I said no. But we began to look at that possibility. I am now on Testosterone and my life has changed so much since I started my transition.
Listening to stella talk about the breakdown of parents belief in themselves, makes me think that this breakdown may have had to do with the disappearance of the multi-generational households. Move away from grandparents, raise the kids alone, and eventually elders ending up in care facilities.
Having a solid, weathered, loving grandma say to you (as a new anxious momma), "Naaaaaw. They are just fine. Don't worry", can be everything! Meanwhile if one googles any minor complaint, they must ignore the inevitable cancer diagnosis. Google doesn't replace grandparents.
I also blame the medical industry. When my first child was a baby, in 2006, pediatricians were all deciding together to not even allow parents and children in their practice if they weren't following their vaccine schedule to the T. I did vaccinate my kids, but I opted to do it at a slower pace. Over 2 years, rather than the first 6 months of life. There was only one pediatrician in the entire county that would allow me in their practice with my decision to vaccinate slower. Not only that, before I got kicked out of the first practice I joined (when they hadn't realized yet I was not going to let them set the pace), I was literally shamed and belittled for my child's weight. Now, I'm 40 years old and I've never been over 120 (except with one pregnancy). I was a scrawny a*s kid. I was absolutely in the lower percentile of average weight. Not unhealthy, just small. So when my fairy boned child was the same size, they kept telling me I was not feeding her enough, that she wasn't thriving, that she was too small for her age, etc. The looks on their judgey faces was the worst. I felt so bad after visiting with the pediatrician. Meanwhile, my child was completely healthy and absolutely thriving! It took me finally going from shamed to mad to stand up for my parenting- which im not gonna lie- took several shame visits. When I finally found our beloved pediatrician, and he held my baby and said she was absolutely perfect and I was doing a great job, I teared up. I had seen 6 mean doctors before I'd walked into his office. And if it hadn't been for being able to crowd source on fb, I may never have found him.
Its been my belief for a long time that the medical industry benefits financially by minimizing our innate wisdom, and making us dependent on their advice and prescriptions. Not saying that there aren't amazing healers in hospitals, I come from a 4 generation deep line of nurses. But the amount of difficulty I have in finding a Dr I can be even halfway honest with, and feel respects me as a person, is getting higher and higher. The chance of me meeting a health professional I trust and feel i can speak openly with is getting smaller and smaller. And that makes me very very sad. And sometimes a little stuck. And I think, disempowers parents immensely.
Dear Stella and Sasha,
I have watched a lot of your videos with the greatest attention and I much appreciate your professional and nuanced approach to this very complicated issue. In France (where I come from), people lack access to this kind of nuanced approach as the information that makes it to the mainstream media comes from the English speaking world and is frankly unintelligible to an average person. I have heard that some therapists in France have also been discredited for opposing the affirmation protocol. Maybe there is something to be done beyond the English language barrier and connect professionals from non English speaking countries as well. Investigation journalist Sophie Robert probably knows some. I believe it is important to give more credibility to critical professionals. Many thanks for your work!!
This is my fear in Spain. I think they will listen to the pseudoscience and religious fervour coming from the USA instead of acknowledging the systematic reviews in the UK, Sweden, Finland or the Cass review etc
I've noticed this attitude about therapy online. I get drawn into the AITA threads and the overwhelming majority of comments are that they person needs to gey therapy and/or the person they have a issue with needs therapy. For everything, divorce, disagreements, bridezillas literally anything even ordinary everyday trails.
We are unique individuals with unique experiences of our unique story, and we will respond uniquely. All behaviour makes sense, let's look to understand what is underneath the behaviours, instead of labelling. We are not our behaviours, it's something we do, not who we are.
Chalk and cheese 😂 stella i love your colloquialisms.
I think just pop a tall lamp abs plant in the background and you should be fine. Just need to lighten and warm the background. Just my opinion as photographer- not as interior designer lol
As a professional, knowing that the person coming is the expert on themselves. My role is to accompany with non-judgemental, compassionate exploration, supporting bring the unconscious to consciousness.
As you take up the issue of the over-treatment of young people, consider having Abigail Shrier on to talk about her book-- Bad Therapy: Why the kids aren't growing up. Listeners will appreciate her wide view and analysis of the dynamics how we got to this point in mental health.
Very interesting conversation! I've been thinking about suicidal thoughts - don't everybody have them at some point? Isn't that normal human behaviour? Most people never act on them, thank God, but the thoughts themselves, are they always a signal to seek help?
Nobody wants to hear that most parents send their kids to daycare and so they don’t know their kids as well as parents who don’t. Parents are always deferring to someone else because they’ve delegated the responsibility to someone else from infancy.
A friend in need is a friend indeed!
A friend with weed is better.
@@juliereigoldstein lyrics?
What a great episode.!! "Should have joined the military" for being vaguely tidy 😅😅😂❤
I got excited for a hot minute about the Lisbon conference until I saw the cost of tickets. €450 might be what is needed to cover your costs but nobody here will be able to attend.
I agree, I think I might even travel across borders to go if the prices weren't far out of reach of an ordinary person
@@robertmarshall2502 The thing that annoyed me the most is charging €95 just to stream it.
I relate. It is a great movement and needed but it is exclusive to people with money. Parents on the ground would really benefit from the community, support and flow of ideas back and forth that can happen at conferences.
That is so sad. Come on guys. This will stay an academic and privileged debate if these realities aren't accommodated for. Can anyone contact them about this?
@@naomiduckett6843 Let Women Speak (KJKs event) are having an event in Lisbon in September.
"Mother knows best" !!??!! Are you kidding me? My wife learned more than she or her mother ever knew from one parenting book. I know because I read it with them. Because of it I knew more than my own mother ever knew about parenting. Our human super power is learning from millions of others successes and failures instead of one grandparent.
The government here has said they are deferring to PATHA (the NZ subsidiary of WPATH). They have said that is their response to the Cass report.
Idiots!
I’m a teacher in CA. The emphasis on perpetual happiness, feelings and focus on the child has increased since the Disney princess movies. Parents with limited budgets bought the dresses, the clothes and took Disney vacations. If a child was naughty the parents and the school wanted to ignore or blame someone else.
Now in CA the public schools are using students emotional fluctuations as the reason for not learning. CA is pouring millions, billions, into bullying, gender and social emotional programs that take time, energy and focus away from the academic curriculum.
In CA testing companies want to have both academic and emotional report cards multiple times per year until graduation. Emotional tracking by teachers who are poorly trained but fed a boatload of theories just want to keep their jobs.
Your background was fine, all it needed was a little spackle and touch up paint for those who cared. 🤣
Here are the documents for long term effects; Can I jog anyone's memory that there are indeed decades of examples available in the Stasi Files from the former East Germany; thousands of women from 1969-1989 were drugged with testosterone, most without consent, some as young as 8 years old. Look at the bio of Heidi Kriegl now Andreas Kriegl. Female athletes with a frightening list of long term medical and psychological problems; tumors, diseased organs, cancer, sterility, and early death. The Cass Report was a noble and diligent work of the present, but the dark past reveals a more disturbing future.
Is there a good write-up of those effects? I think my ROGD teen daughter would be open to hearing about proven, damaging effects of testosterone, even though she says she doesn't care about the undesirable temporary effects such as acne or undesirable and irreversible effects such as balding because boys/men go through those naturally so she feels she was "supposed to" go through them too. And she doesn't care about irreversible effects such as enlarged clitoris because she plans to get phalloplasty and is sure she won't change her mind. But I can't find a good source of the meaningful health risks and damage from testosterone--most are either dismissive or they read like a list for the possible effects of taking birth control pills which sound scary but are unlikely enough that most people find the risks entirely acceptable.
In the game room? Well, will you at least be joining Gamergate MKII?
Please don't refer to the over diagnosing of psychological conditions as a cultural shift. It was not cultural, it was completely brought on by the medical professionals. We all know that the culture of doctors as Gods who dare not be questioned, mentality/culture, is pervasive in our society but it is rapidly being eroded more and more of late . When you have psychiatry labelling life as a mental illness i.e. Situational Depression: According to the new edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), you may have situational depression if: you have emotional or behavioural symptoms that develop within three months of a stressful life event, you feel more stress than normal after a stressful life event. One must question what the motivation is. Anything other than an altruistic wish to help is unacceptable. That is why anything to do with the health care professions is a calling, not a business decision.