Everyone Hates Abby Lee Miller: Dance Moms was WORSE than You Thought | Downfall
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- čas přidán 29. 07. 2024
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Why does everyone hate Abby Lee Miller? And what about the endless controversies of Dance Moms? From dark and disturbing allegations against Abby Lee Miller to cover-ups, crimes, and alleged crimes, Abby Lee Miller and the Dance Moms legacy is as messy as it is unsettling. Who is telling the truth? Were the dancers just being used? Who is to blame? And what is next for Abby Lee Miller?
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00:00 Abby and the Football Jocks
05:19 Message from Swoop
08:15 Whole Lotta Cr*zy
24:59 History of Dance Moms
40:39 Controversies
45:52 The Fight
56:42 Downfall of Abby Lee
01:07:52 Life After Dance
01:21:41 What Next?
01:34:29 Swoop’s Thoughts
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Hi friends it's me here :) Thank you with all of my heart for your kindness and compassion while I have been taking some time to heal. I posted a quick update at 05:19 for those asking, and I can't wait to come back fully very soon. I am so honored to be part of this beautiful community we have created. Sending all my love and gratitude! Talk soon!
CORRECTION Re: Brook and Paige. They and others were members of ALDC and had a relationship with Abby before the show, with the exception of Cathy and Vivi!
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Love your content! Thanks For this. Take your time. You come first❤❤❤❤❤
Take your time, Swoop! We're excited for your full return, but take care of you first!
Your honesty and uplifting words about trauma honestly helped me understand a bad situation that I was in. I'm out now and working on my own healing journey. Thank you for being you and being brave enough to confront the hard stuff. 💝
Oh my god Swoop, I'm so sorry for what happened to you, Ive been in an abusive relationship before and I'm praying for your healing, I love you to death Swoop, you have helped me so much through everything I've been through and I cant thank you enough for it. I wish you the best and the best healing, take all the time you need to heal, we will be here for you. You are amazing Swoop. Hang in there
@@PettyUniversity so happy to see the update, you do a lot of good, and I hope you feel the love through all this. So many of us, unfortunately have various horrible experiences, but hopefully we can all support each other here.
I can handle strict teaching. Cruel teaching is unexceptable. She was cruel to them. And she wonders why the OG girls don’t speak to her as well as takes no accountability.
Yes! I teach music. I have high expectations and don't hold back information when it comes to what needs improvement. But there are ways to do so that don't involve hurling abuse and insults. You can respect your students and still get them to improve their performance.
Yes. As a teacher- you can be strict and firm without being cruel. It’s not okay and causes so much psychological damage.
To a much lesser extent she reminds me of my first year middle school drama teacher. She would berate us to tears over a small mistake and never apologise for it or even give us more than a “Well atleast there’s improvement “ if she had been strict but fair we would’ve learned and performed much better then we ended out performing.
Cruelty doesn’t teach - cruelty is for the enjoyment and feeling of power for the abuser.
Honestly, same. I learned martial arts as a teen and the classes were very intense and there was strict decorum you had to follow.
However, actually putting a student in danger, verbally berating them, or injuring them on purpose was not permitted.
In the rare case that a student didn't listen, discipline was handled through strick enforcement of decorum or additional work.
I am a mental health worker, I have had a couple clients now bring you up and how they felt affirmed by your talks when things like this come up in your channel and saying it is not their fault. You are a wonderful person and I am glad you are getting the support you need.
I hope Swoop sees this!!!! This is such a wholesome comment and the highest compliment you can give someone in my book.
I love this ❤
incredible!!!
This is wonderful said and I hope she sees it and also gets the time she needs to heal. She's an amazing youtuber love swoop
I hope she sees this🥰
"Be the person you needed when you were younger." is genuinely some of the best advice I heard, and you echoing that sentiment later on just reaffirmed in that. There's so much crap going on in the world, and rather than adding to it, I hope to help even just a single person keep going. Sometimes that person is myself. And sometimes I falter when it comes to being kind. But in the grand scheme of things, I want to leave this world a brighter place, not darker.
What a great way to view the world
@@nicnag1 Agree. @Kayjay is wise 💌
Did anyone notice how similarly her and Jojo speak? Like the pauses, the afflictions, the words they choose? Just me?
Not just you. Trauma damage well and truly done.
Thought the same thing
She has the same cadence in her speech. Wow.
And both have that raw edge too. As if they have been screaming a lot.
“Inflections”? lol
Idk how an abusive person towards kids isn't locked up but filmed for entertainment... weird af
'Merica?
I never could understand how people could watch that for entertainment
What’s even weirder, is all the moms that just sat back and watched their kids treated like that. Sick. Sick. Sick.
All the former dance mom kids have bad feelings towards Abby, explainable… but their anger should also be geared towards their “dance moms” too.
As a mother, it’s our job to protect our babies from harmful or toxic situations. These mothers did not do that. At all.
It’s because we as a society put the responsibility on the parent. So it’s not our fault that a kid is being abused even though we’re watching it for entertainment, it’s the parent’s fault. I feel like a lot of people don’t intervene in abuse situations because we leave it up to the parents. Even if the parents are the abusers or enabling it.
TLC has a horrible history of not protect the people that bring them in all that money.
A 12 year old child should not be under any kind of contract ever.
Legally speaking, they can't be. Their parents are. That's why they treat their kids so poorly.
Yeah it happens all the time. It’s not that strange
In entertainment you’re meant to have your parents as well as agent/manager looking out for you (and you can’t legally sign), so you can’t be taken advantage of. That goes out the window with reality TV where all the usual rules surrounding performers are basically non-existent.
I had an agent who was a LOT like Abby and I was fortunate that I had parents who weren’t exploitative and I was the Maddie of my agency. If I had exploitative parents and wasn’t her favourite who knows how miserable I would have been. It was rough enough experiencing the kids around me (many of whom were friends or went to school with me) get absolutely mercilessly blasted by her while praising me. I get flashbacks watching Dance Moms. At least she always looked after my auditions and contracts to protect me, unlike Abby.
@@Geospasmic yes…and that’s 100% the parents fault there. The thing is…no matter how vile Miller might have been it’s the parents who put their kids in that situation and continued to put their kids in that situation….over and over. And it was the producers who hired all of them.
You saying that you don’t owe an explanation to someone you stopped talking to them, makes me feel so much better! I felt manipulated and lied to by a friend and I stopped talking to her cold turkey.
I don’t owe her an explanation she knows what she did.
🎯🎯🎯That was no friend.
I was made to feel bad for cutting someone off, and I made the mistake of getting back in contact. A decision I deeply regret and am still dealing with in therapy.
Totally. Sometimes I feel it’s better to say, some people aren’t bad, our paths just aren’t aligned and I don’t want to just leave them hanging. But when someone is being an ahhhole that brakes your boundaries- they know what they did and aren’t owed any explanation. They don’t deserve any more energy to be spent on them
Same here! I am in the same situation with a few family members and am very non confrontational. I have felt so bad for cutting them off without explanation. I felt guilty because they constantly crossed boundaries I never verbally set. When she said that I teared up and felt so validated for the first time in a long time
Ugh, all that hate aged her like an old lemon in a rock tumbler.
😂😂Colleen’s rock tumbler?
It’s visible on CB, too.
The parents who force their children to endure this or beauty pageants….they need to be held accountable too
They were bound by two contracts( Aldc. And lifetime) it was only supposed to be a 6 episode doc
this!!! i moved my daughter from Oregon Ballet Theatre's dance school when i started noticing the health office at her grade school would call to say my daughter was sick (upset stomach) on dance days. i put two and two together, got my young daughter to tell me how she was scared to go to class after school and how mean her teacher was. (the head of the school, fyi) and i pulled her right out. we ended up at a different school where i saw my beautiful little dancer dance with a smile of joy on her face for the first time. brought me to tears. ironically enough, her new teacher had been a member of OBT and had left for similar abuse issues.
Omg can we get a Swoop doc on child beauty pageants 👀👀💜💜💜💜
This!! While I don’t agree with everything Abby said or did, those mothers need to be held accountable for THEIR children.
I was watching Toddlers and Tiara’s this morning because there was nothing on TV but I had to turn it off after 5 minutes. Those weird attention moms just pull their 3 year olds on stage, crying, yelling and looking like an adult with those fake teeth, wigs and all the make up. It grosses me out so much
My little sister used to attend some of the dance competitions that her studio also attended as we are a two hour drive out from Pittsburgh, and a large number of competitions come to that area. They always had issues with the girls and Abby Lee during the competitions, including her stealing idea's from the studio my sister intended. One of their competition dances was called jet set, based around flight attendants. She stole the idea and put it out to the world under the exact same name with very similar costumes and music. They would steal large spaces in the dressing rooms which was being used by everyone competing that weekend, leaving many of the other groups to huddle in a corner with barely enough space to keep their makeup kits in the room. On top of this, at one of the competitions the family was allowed to watch one of the classes through the door. I was about 13 at the time, and loved seeing my sister dance as it made her so happy. I was standing against the door frame just out of the way in case people had to get in and out of the room. Without warning Abby Lee shoves me aside to get into the room despite there already being enough room for her to get inside. She did not ask me to move, or even say anything. She just walked right in. My dad nearly punched her, and probably would've if not for my mom stopping him to avoid a scene. It was that incident that caused me to lose all respect for her, and It has continued to drop over the years with all this drama you spoke of.
You could make your own documentary from your viewpoint! Sheesh. I'm sorry you had to ever interact with this monster
My family lived in Penn Hills all through my childhood and most of my teenage life... this is where Abby is truly from. She never mentions that, it's always just "Pittsburgh." LOL She was two years ahead of me so I didn't know her, BUT my brother was in her class at Linton Middle School (9th and 10th) and Penn Hills Senior High(11th and 12th.) He's told me that she was always full of herself and confirmed that she was quite the racist as well.
I'm so sorry you had to experience that when all you wanted to do was watch your sister dance. Abby was, is and always will be a conceited BITCH.
Of course she pushed you out of the way, a self important space station that doesn't take responsibility for her own shitty behavior, actions and go to therapy needs all the room to move around.
Yeah, after seeing her rudely come up to a group of girls trying to celebrate their friend's birthday made me not like her off camera. How is she gonna go on and on about manners when she doesn't have any herself?
She's a real life Glee villain. Goddamn.
Ugh my son is a high school athlete and thinking about a grown woman lusting over children makes me feel sick to my stomach
Honestly i cant imagine being the parent when
A) when grown ass woman can say this about a highschool BOY isn't/wasnt taken as a grown man said it about a highschool girl..
B) its feeling like so many youtubers/people with a following/fame. Tries to sleep with 15-17 year olds.
I don't have any kids and im nauseated by at all.
I think the saddest thing about dance moms viewership is a big chunk of it was also around the age of the dancers… i remeber watching at like 10 years old thinking I wanted to be them and idk how that affected my brain lmao
I remember watching it in middle school because I was on my middle school’s dance team and just loved watching the dances at the end, and almost all the girls on my team watched it too! It sucks that when you’re older and look back on the show you realize how toxic and abusive it was and how it wasn’t just about the dances 😭
I wish Swoop would have at least mentioned this. It wasn't just millions and millions of adults tuning in, it was mostly kids around the same age of the dancers. I feel like that fact would have put into perspective why a lot of this wasn't called into question.
I’ve spent way too much time consuming dance moms and its related content. I’m so glad it’s finally getting a doc to expose the horrors.
I don't know how that show got views to begin with 🤷♀
Why did you watch it since you say you’re glad the horrors are getting exposed?
@@melissacoulter3996 I watched it as a kid
America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on Netflix is another horror story. " NFL cheerleaders typically earn around $75 to $150 per game, with an average yearly salary of about $22,500" This is very very sad 😞
@@tmcbgrrl0074 It’s so bad I also grew up watching Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders 😭
As someone who was married to an ex-dancer and worked in IDTA credited dance festivals, I can honestly say Dance Mom's is not unique in how kids are treated.
And it becomes pervasive, the dancers become parents who pass the same thing down to the children.
After a year, I walked away from it all, its disgusting
Thanks for your insight, every time I see clips from this show I wonder how anyone can put up with that. If I entrusted my child to someone and they spoke to/treated him that way I’d never go back. I can’t fathom it.
I was a competitive dancer for 10 years. I had three grown adults duct tape my bare boobs to my bare chest because a male judge said “they were moving too much”. I will never ever let my kids dance if I can help it. Absolutely destroyed my body image.
Same thing with figure skating. Walk into any competitive rink and there’s at least one Abby Lee Miller, if not more. Unfortunately, she is not anything new or unique and neither is the dynamic between the kids and coaches.
@@grxcedn I am so sorry that happened to you. Much love.
I grew up in non-competitive dance and I have seen so many toxic and abusive teachers. I only realized how messed up some of the things I heard were when, as a grown up, I told my friends and they were all shocked.
Swoop… I don’t have words to explain how much you’ve impacted me. I’m a single nonbinary parent of two with CPTSD and various autoimmune issues. Most days I don’t feel valid or enough for this world, the abuse I’ve experienced for years still plagues me and I have to fight against it constantly. I feel so safe watching your content and you always make me cry happy tears when you stop to remind us all that we are valid, we are enough, and we are seen. Thank you for coming back for us time and time again, you inspire bravery and courage in us all.
I'm glad that you have a safe space to go to. You are valid and I hope you have many good days.
You have no idea how happy reading your comment made me. I’ve never heard of another non-binary parent before and seeing one, even in just a comments section of a CZcams video, makes me unbelievably happy. Thank you for commenting! I wish you the best!
Why you need validation foe people you don't know? You need what a woman is the moment tou gave birth 😂
Clipping the 'you are valid in the body you have' part because I need this reminder not even daily but hourly. Sappy? It made me cry. Thank you for being so kind.
I don’t think any of the moms are innocent, especially when they stayed for more than one season. There’s no way you could see your child be treated that badly and exposed to things like that and not pull them out if you were a good parent.
Especially when the ALDC moved to LA because the kids’ contracts were not legally processed. Because of that, they were not under obligation to comply. That was how JoJo was able to leave in season 6 without legal issues and sign with Nickelodeon. Granted, Abby was Kendall’s music manager so she might not have been able to. But Holly and Nia could have left after all of the racism yet Holly and Nia stayed to build resilience.
I agree but Melissa has said a lot the reason why Maddison and McKenzie left when they did because a contract was up so I think they were bound by contract but idk
The contracts did not allow them to leave for SIX years/ seasons . Christi eventually found a loophole where Chloe wouldn’t have to be a part of ALDC but still had to film the show as if she was still.
They originally signed up for a 6 part docuseries and when they signed their contract they didn't know that Lifetime providing a lawyer for them wasn't in their best interest. Kelly wanted out all the time but they were threatened with losing their money/house etc if they left. They had no way of knowing how realistic or not the threats were.
They already had Abby's contract that said that if you left mid competition season or didn't come back if you were a title holder that you would owe her $100,000 (the reason that Christi and Kelly were there when the show started as Chloe and Brooke were title holders the year before)
Pretty simple to be a parent like that, all you gotta do is fail at everything you try (or think you failed even if you didn’t), have a child, and project that innate fear and dread of failure to them using verbal and emotional abuse, creating a trauma so deep that the child will end up resenting you for the rest of their life 😊
(Edit: grammar)
"You're dumb enough for twins" = enough stupid for 2 people. Sounds like a dad joke I never heard before but it did make me laugh lol
Lol that's something my Dad would say to me. But it didn't break me it actually gave me a sense of humor and humility:)
Oh I always thought it meant that they were half brained. But that also makes sense
@@BatshtPassionateThat’s because your dad probably validated you, too, and didn’t just tease you. Teasing in jest is fine, but you do need to have some positive things to say, too, psychologically speaking.
@@HavianEla Absolutely. I know first hand how certain comments like that can destroy parts of ourselves. Sad coming from a parent then a child not knowing what to do with that
My dad said I was pretty stupid for a smart kid.
Most of the time after I made a silly decision/didnt think before acting. He never called me stupid with reminding me i was smart.
I still wonder about Maddie Ziegler’s mental health. I saw one episode where she completely broke down crying thinking that Abby didn’t like her performance. And like the allegedly abusive person she was, Abby came in all lovingly and calmed Maddie’s fears. And then the next second, Abby was screaming at everyone so who tf knows where these girls’ mental health is now.
And the weirdo Sia thing on top of that.
Hopefully she has gotten the treatment and counseling that Jojo has not gotten.
All those kids got screwed up for our entertainment
@@Astral_Clover Yes, it’s very wrong.
After bringing up 4 daughters, I will never understand why a mother would put her children through so much pressure and in this case abuse! No amount of money or stardom is worth that. If your child wants to pursue anything, they will, just give them time, confidence and they’ll do the rest. A parent who lives through their child, has immediately failed their child.
Been thinking this. If I were a mom on the show, I wouldn’t have kept my daughter in that environment for more than a day.
as a survivor of csa by a grown woman when i was a little girl that lead to cptsd (among other things) , abby has been so inappropriate with these children, and her kissing that little girl was an adult m*l*sting a child FULL STOP. period. thank you for making your channel such a safe space to discussing these topics, and i hope you are also in a safe space, yourself.
I went through something over 30 years ago I had repressed at it pops out once in a while and it did as I read these comments, I wish I had an internet full of safe people to go to, I still deal with pts but still can’t talk about it, I tried to with one therapist and he glossed over it (I’m a social worker and knew this wasn’t a ‘gloss over’ topic so I never went back). I’m so very sorry you’ve had to deal with something similar and you are willing to speak out! I’ve never actuall even written this much down alluding to it before
@@nicnag1 my heart goes out to you and thank you. i am fortunate to have a great therapist that i’ve had for a few years now, but it took a lot to find her. im still struggling to find the right psychiatrist bc they’re hard for me to trust. i only keep a very small close circle of friends/chosen family now. i believe you’ll find support, bc you deserve for your trauma to be validated! i’m glad you felt safe opening up here.
As someone who suffers from chronic illness and chronic pain, I want to thank you AGAIN for being so accepting of all bodies. Just the other day I had my first appointment with a new GP and all he did was hound me about my weight and my "portion size" despite not knowing at all what I eat. He made so many assumptions about me and pushed and pushed and pushed the point of me needing to exercise more and "just get out and walk." 1) It's freaking summer....IN TEXAS!!! If your aim is to get me to pass out due to heat exhaustion or heat stroke, then I guess your idea would be a "good" one. 2) I told him NUMEROUS times that I am disabled, and sometimes walking to the bathroom is too much for me and I'm in tears from the pain. Heck, I spent less than 10 minutes making myself something to eat earlier today and I WAS in pain because of it. I've already decided that since I now have the referrals I needed, I will not be going back to him due to how unheard and unseen he made me feel. Look, I know I'm fat, and to many people that is an unacceptable thing, but my body is so broken down from things that I cannot control that have eff all to do with my weight. To add insult to injury, I had, just hours before, literally had a midline (fancy term for a longer lasting IV, but not as long lasting as a PICC line) pulled from my arm that morning, because I had been in the hospital for 5 days the week before due to a kidney infection that almost went septic and had to be on IV antibiotics. Clearly this doctor did not know how to read the room.
))): I'm sorry to hear that hun... wish you well, & peace 🫶 i hate how that doctor treated you, u didn't deserve that!!
Glad you know you don't have to force yourself to continue to visit a doctor who refuses to listen to you. Being overweight is not automatically the worst health problem and cause of all your other problems, and it shouldn't be the thing that healthcare professionals obsess over every time you visit.
@@heatherbuttari6916 You know, as crummy as that doctor was and how horrible he made me feel (there is so much more to the story, but I didn't have the spoons to write a whole dissertation, lol) the plain and simple fact that I can comment in spaces like this and get support, rather than the internets typical diatribe of how I'm wrong and any fat is bad and that I'm just a burden, makes me feel so much better. I have been a part of the HAES and Fat Acceptance movements for years now, but I'm only human and can only take so much negativity before I end up spiraling. So thank you so much for being an internet ally!
As a fellow survivor of childhood and adulthood DV of over 30 years, and a chronic pain fighter, I wanted to say how much I appreciate you, Swoop. This space with the petty community helps me to feel seen and safe. That doesn't happen for me too often, so when I have that opportunity, it means more than I can say.
Sending so much love and healing vibes to you! (And to everyone else who is struggling)
We are warriors. We are survivors. We are overcomers.
And... we are valid.
Sending so much love to you all ❤️🔥
I’m so sorry
Hey SWOOP! Hope you're feeling better now? Don't overdo yourself beautiful woman 🖤 absolutely no shame in self care, remember YOU ARE VALID TOO
so true ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
You took the words right out of my mouth 😊 spot on 👏👏👏👏👏👏
Abby hated and held a grudge against Kelly over Kelly giving up dance when Abby saw her as her original golden ticket, like Maddie. Sadly she went on to take it out on Brooke and Paige, and she didn’t like Christi who was Kelly’s best friend who’d stand up for her, so she’d treat Chloe so poorly and punish her to get back at Christi. It was a hard watch. Chloe seems like the most sweet, genuine individual. JoJo is the only one who thinks Abby didn’t abuse them… but JoJo has, in my opinion, been used and abused her entire life by all the trusted adults around her and she hasn’t yet realised or admitted, whatever is behind her denial.
And then Jojo went on to continue the abuse in her own dance group. Its crazy. Also I agree with everything u said!
what I see with JoJo... as somebody with a narcissistic parent and other toxic family members... growing up in that kind of chaos doesn't equip you with these self protective mechanisms you should have learned, so basically you don't have that red flag detector. part of overcoming that kind of childhood trauma is self parenting and building those up so you won't keep getting targeted by the same types of people.
but if she doesn't want to do the work, nobody else can make her see it unfortunately. for another example of this, see: most of the life of Brooke Shields (I think she's gotten a bit better recently though).
@nivision it unfortunately takes a long time to unpack those things and longer still to admit that the person/people who were supposed to protect you let you down and harmed you. Sometimes it's literally a life long process. That Brooke remains a good person and protective mom in spite of her mom is kind of miraculous.
@@meghanphillips3495 agreed on all. and Brooke is proof that the cycle doesn't have to repeat, even before she did the work she had more respect and care for her daughters than was given to her as a daughter.
She's admitted to knowing that she was exploited by her family, but she's internalized all of that and now she's running around trying to be Abby (I think Swoop has a recent video on her own attempt to start a girl group---if not her, then VangeliaSkov I know how a video about one of the girls from JoJo's group).
As someone from Mars PA who had Chloe at my school for a short amount of time. I remember my friends and I always feeling so bad for her and how we heard she was treated while at the studio. We were always confused why she was missing so many days of school but now it makes sense. She was always so so kind and it’s such a shame how these literal children were treated.
Seeing footage of what she went through breaks my heart. I hope she's doing ok. Hello from Pittsburgh 🖤
I commented on a video of yours where you asked if people would be interested in this, explaining that I danced at the ALDC LA, and that I would find a video like this extremely healing and validating for a lot of what I experienced in my time there. I just want to say, I was completely right, thank you so much for this. Thank you for your investigative skills, taking your time to do this, and for the healing that this has brought to me. I cannot explain the pure relief that comes with the validation that somebody who has treated you poorly is also acknowledged for being abusive by the rest of the world. Thank you Swoop.
And before anyone asks (because I have seen the comment regarding the girls moms on dance moms quite a few times) why my parents did not protect me by not signing me up for the ALDC, I want to say that there is nothing my parents could have done better.
I have a lot of empathy for the position they were in, and at 13, I was like a dog with a bone, and would not drop the idea of dancing at the ALDC LA.
They did the absolute best they could with the information that they had, and it has never once crossed my mind to blame my parents for “not protecting me better“ in my situation.
I did not force them to allow me to go by any means, but it was my dream to dance there, and in my parents eyes, they were giving me their dream. I love them implicitly, and even though I would absolutely go back in time and change things if I could, I do not blame them for a second.
That is a grueling schedule for children. When I was in high school, I took advanced classes, was involved in school theater, took dance classes in a nearby town, and had a part-time job. Wtf was I thinking? I liked being busy, but I was burned out by the 2nd semester of my senior year.
Even worse when you consider the early moms report they were frequently held up at the studio after midnight and told the girls couldn’t leave rehearsal because there wasn’t enough footage for the show. Aka “if you want your kid to get any sleep tonight you’d better scream at someone.”
You just described why retirement hits some people too hard.
Another great documentary. As a biracial woman + survivor myself, I look up to you and your platform. I love seeing you thrive and your creativity is so beautiful to witness fluorish. Recently heard Adam McIntyre confirm that you are just as real behind the scenes. Wishing you love and light from miles away through a screen. :)
as someone who grew up in allstar cheer, the way abby acted is unfortunately extremely common among coaches within dance/cheer gyms. all coaches i had growing up were incredibly violent and emotionally and physically abusive. dance moms was my favorite show growing up simply because of how much it reflected my life and made me feel seen. people who are always going on about how shocked they are that this show could even exist and what not have no clue how normalized this behavior is in performing arts type professions (ESPECIALLY for kids). while my abuse wasn’t televised, and they’d cover the observation windows at my gym to prevent the parents from seeing how horribly they treated us, i am glad we have dance moms to make it much easier for me to point to an example of what i went through for 8 years of my childhood.
You could make a whole documentary about your experience or even a book.
So, I'm working while listening to this and I cant be the only one who noticed that Jojo and ALM speak with the same cadence and inflections. Must be all that *positive* influence/s
funny you mentioned this because i was also just listening and her sounding like Jojo was driving me bonkers. hahaha
They both also have that same raspy, bugling voice. Sounds like bawling cattle when they yell.
Some people deal with abuse by looking back and realising their abuser was wrong and there was nothing wrong with themself. Some deal with abuse by convincing themself they were wrong and their abuser was right. You can tell which one Jojo did. I hope one day she can see the truth and heal because right now she is repeating the cycle.
@@eevee2411I mean Jojo thinking Abby's treatment and disrespect is normal comes from the fact her mom was treating her the same exact way at home. Her dad failed to protect her from her mom and Abby. Saddening that she too became just like both of them, disgusting abusers who think it's okay to traumatize children
@@eevee2411 I am stuck in the latter because there are too many examples
The way I whooped “SWOOP!” I don’t even watch half of the shows or am familiar with any of the people you deep dive into, but I am always sucked in. Every. Single. Time.
You are so good at fleshing out the human side of horrible people before taking it to Petty University.
So good to see Future Swoop. Your everyday makeup is so beautiful too!
I’m guilty of binging my own exploitive reality TV, but Dance Moms never appealed to me despite my mom and sister having it on the tv nonstop for years. I couldn’t understand the appeal of watching a vile woman scream at, belittle, and manipulate little girls.
(Also I’m so glad you’ve had the opportunity to recover and heal after such a terrible experience, and seeing your update was so nice.)
I've had to cut off part of my own family to avoid toxic narcissistic behavior and it was hard and took me until my late 30s but so so so fucking worth it. I've made my own family and your family doesn't have to be biologically related.
America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on Netflix is another horror story. " NFL cheerleaders typically earn around $75 to $150 per game, with an average yearly salary of about $22,500" This is very very sad 😞
I haven’t seen the show, isn’t cheerleading an after work activity? Wouldn’t they have jobs as well as cheerleading?
@@amymckay23 Yes they HAD to have day jobs to survive while following their cheer dreams~~
@@amymckay23 yeah they do have other full careers but the amount of intense training they have to do and keeping up their looks is worth more than what they earn
I’m glad this is finally being brought to the public’s attention. Why would the NFL cheerleaders (of all teams not just DCC) not receive equal or even just SIMILAR pay to the NFL football players?? They deserve a salary pay for all the work they do plus appearances… It’s ridiculous.
@amymckay23 then the people playing the sport shouldn't get paid more than that either.
My mom and I used to watch Dance Moms. She was mostly watching it for validation to feel better if she felt like a bad mom ("at least I don't let my kids get screamed at" type beat) and we'd have conversations on how to avoid those scenarios and that kind of person
Awh that's actually really cute
That seems like the perfect way to handle things like this: to talk openly and honestly about it. Your mom did what I wish everyone would do, she had that conversation regardless of how/if it was an "uncomfortable" topic. ❤❤❤
@@lillachrissay5564 aw agreed!! well said bro ❣❣❣
Ive been struggling my whole life with body dysmorphia which turned into anorexia and bulimia.....you genuinely just made me cry 🥲
You’re beautiful.
Jojo absolutely 💯 cannot sing!!! Idk where she gets that idea bc I've heard her & definitely nowhere near as amazing as she thinks she is. I think this show really damaged her & she just doesn't wanna see it
It’s wasn’t just the show that damaged her. Look at all of the horrible creeps that have been around her. Just sad.
@@justkiddin84 true. It has to be hard having the pressure of your mom exploiting you to support the family at such a young age. Her parents definitely didn't protect her
I live in Pgh, and I was a dance mom to a competitive Scottish highland dancer, during the Dance Moms show. In our school, the moms all got along, as did our kids , even though they frequently competed against each other. And we all still are friends. The kids were always supportive of each other (and are still friends, although are now adults , living their lives in different parts of the country), and the parents still volunteer at dance competitions and other events. When the show was running, we all were glad that the dance teachers that taught our kids were nothing like Abby, and that we were nothing like those moms.
I have taught some irish and Scottish highland dancers (not dance) from Pittsburgh and around pa over the years, and I just have to say how amazing those kids have been. Their schedules are intense, the training is rough on their bodies, and yet they handled so much with seeming ease. Behind every one of those students were amazing parents and guardians. Thank you for being the incredible parents you are. ❤
@@ckandrew My daughter may have been someone who have taught, because she took ballet, as well as highland dance. She fenced, too.
I’m a dance teacher and danced professionally for a few years till it quite literally broke me…it took covid for me to realize how wrong we are treated. I have really been hopiing yoúd drop this doc for a while… the language and ability you have to break such complex and traumatic topics down becomes healing because i am then able to comprehend and explain in better detail to my students and loved ones exactly why and HOW these topics infiltrate our lives specifically. Thank you swoop, i wish you healing in your recovery both in your mind, body, and heart. I am so sorry someone as wholesome as you has to go through yet another traumatic event. You dońt deserve this.
Missed you! Keep on healing queen SWOOP!
Thank you, Swoop. I am a survivor/fighter of 32 years of EDs. My mind plays tricks on me daily & today has been an especially rough day. Thank you for saying the things that others aren't strong enough or willing to say. You're fkn INCREDIBLE!!! Luv ya, sweetheart ✌️🫶
(Sweetheart isn't disrespectful, I'm Southern, and it's from a place of pure love)
As a Pittsburgher, we don't claim her
I think she cares if you do or not !!
People used to tell me I was judgmental for never being shy about how I found Dance Moms to be exploitative and abusive of children. In fact, I’ve ever liked reality TV, it always felt fake and I told people that true reality TV is impossible unless the footage is live and unedited, but very few are like that.
I never liked reality TV either, and my dads family was obsessed with survivor. The only 1 I came to later in Was Drag Race.
@@SaintShion yeah, I like Drag Race too, but even the queens are honest that the show is not really reality because it’s a competition.
@@auberginebear Same, I stay out the fandoms, though. When I lived Japan & Mexico (for work), I'd watch it w my mom and brother. It's 1 of our ways to stay connected when they didn't visit.
My brother and I also watch YT drag shows together, too. If you haven't seen them, I'd definitely suggest the Boulet Brothers. They're very real, too.
(We also watch La Más Draga, too, on YT. it's hilarious!)
@@SaintShion I knew someone on S2 of Dragula, he was not edited to be the jerk he came off as and I wasn’t surprised they got rid of him in I think the 2nd or 3rd episode.
Even the live reality shows tend to have at least one or two people playing a character with or without inside info.
Abby is horrible & the parents who allowed their children to be treated like that. Putting that much pressure on their children really explains why Jojo has a few screws loose.
i just wanted to give some added context about the OG mothers of the show.
Mothers like Christ & Kelly HAD wanted to leave after the treatment for their daughters got worse and seeing how their dance teacher and the production was setting them up to fail for a television storyline, however were not able to as they were bound by contact. This is also why Abby’s treatment for the girls such as Paige & Chloe got worse because Abby wasn’t contractually allowed to kick any of the girls off the team just as the mother’s weren’t allowed to leave with their children which Abby used to her twisted advantage to berate and humiliate the children who she didn’t like in retaliation to the mothers that she wasn’t fond of. Abby also had her own contract where you weren’t allowed to leave her studio if your child won a title underneath her or you would be sued 100k, they signed contacts with abby that she basically owned their child for a year/ the dance season. Due to this, it wasn’t particularly easy for these mothers to leave when things went bad.
Not to victim blame but they signed it. They read the contract. If they thought it was that detrimental for their children they would have paid the money and pulled them out.
Do you have a spare 100k + what ever else you’d be sued for breaking contract? Also when the OG mothers originally signed it was a 6 episode docu series and then the show got picked up + ordered more episodes before the first season even came out. The whole purpose of my comment was to highlight that it really wasn’t that easy to leave once they were locked in. Revealed in her ‘Back To The Barre’ podcast when Kelly would have her outbursts and ‘leave’ the show, she would essentially get threats from production and was forced to come back to filming as she HAD to since she was under contract.
I’m actually surprised by this.
Like if the mothers signed it. Bur the girls themselves wanted to quit they couldn’t ? That’s wild.
Brooke and Chloe could not leave the studio because they were title holders as well which makes it really sad. Brooke was also lonely because all of her friends her age had moved on from dance and she was forced to dance with her sister, granted she once danced with the senior company but Lifetime did not want Brooke to stay there and dance with her sister. As for Chloe, Abby was cruel excluding Chloe, trying to get Chloe to lose, first to Maddie with the same solo, then with Kamryn (season 4 select team) not once but twice. She also made fun of Chloe’s Silent Sinus Syndrome.
@@moonwalkerangel7008 clock it!
I was just watching Adam McIntyre's new video and he praises how amazing you and your team were last year during your interview
While I've not been in dance religiously, I’ve taken several ballet, hip hop, and modern dance classes growing up and NONE of those teachers ever screamed at me or the other kids dancing with me. They could be strict, but there is a very clear difference between strict and abusive.
What makes me sick and angry is that Abby Lee has this sense of entitlement over her victims, that they should be grateful for her "making them who they are". The fact is this; no one owes her a damn thing. She was an abusive psychotic drill sergeant joke of a teacher, and while she may have played a part in building those careers for those girls, they don't owe her anything. If they don't want to associate with Abby, then they have a right to do so.
It's reminiscent of how abusive parents or partners will treat you like you owe them something, that you should be grateful to them for providing for you and that without them you would be nothing aka gaslighting. Which isn’t true at all, their talent made those girls who they are and Abby is an awful person.
Final comment, please take care of yourself Swoop. Love you ❤
Swoop I hope you’re healing mentally and physically ❤ also would you ever do a documentary about Todrick Hall?
When referring to maddie’s kiss, i can’t help but think of that time that this exact situation played out on a Nickelodeon set 👀
As a guy, seeing what Abby did was SO f*cked up.
Just to be clear, what Nick show was it? Did it involve Dan Schneider?
I have been saying this for years which is why i refused to watch shows like Dance moms or 'toddlers and tiaras'
These moms are AWFUL. Why would you want to put your own child or any child through this! Just let kids be kids.
Same. I refuse to watch reality tv about kids for the same reason I won't watch family vloggers; I know the kids won't be treated with dignity and will absolutely be messed up by the end of it, and it makes me sick to watch it happen
not to defend all the moms on the show (especially not the ones who brought their kids on the show after it started airing), but i will say for the original moms, they were pitched a completely different show and had no idea it would become what it was. they got locked into long-term contracts and had no idea what they were doing. most of them weren't paid well at all for several seasons. a few of the moms had to initiate huge altercations in order to be let off the show (see: kelly, kristi). so i do have sympathy for the original moms who didn't know what they were getting into and then tried to get out. it's the moms who stayed for seasons and the moms who came in late that i really heavily critique.
Well to be fair children do have to learn things but those things are things like how to cook how to clean how to do finances how to be emotionally and mentally mature. That is part of being a kid you have to learn how to be an adult but yeah none of these things are things they need to learn and none of these things are ways that anybody should be treated child or adult
I cant watch them either. The sexualisation/adultification also makes me very uncomfortable.
@@impposter560Same. I also stopped watching kid shows/movies or "family" shows/movies with child actors years ago after I realised, that Hollywood had no intention to tackle the abuse/exploitation going on behind the scene. I hate the idea, that my joy is built on other children's suffering.
You can ABSOLUTLY blame the parents! Putting your own child, or any child, in a dangerous situation where abuse seems to be expected is just disgusting. The parents need to be held accountable.
The thing is, I'm sure they didn't know or expect it to be that bad when they first signed onto the show, and after that they were contractually bound to stay there, and Abby was contractually bound to keep them there. So unless they wanted to lose everything they had because they would've been sued by Abby Lee Miller for a breach of contract lol they really didn't have much of a choice and I think that overlooking that fact Away from truly understanding and empathizing with this situation if I'm being so honest
But they didn’t know. They were pitched a whole other idea and got locked into long term contracts that if they broke they would owe hundreds or thousands of dollars. Plus the kids kept wanting to go back because they just wanted to dance.
Your ability to provide amazingly insightful yet factual information with the perfect touch of petty & humour is what makes you such a perfect storyteller. The second your video ends I am always eager for the next Swoop doc here or on your other channel.
Thank you for your research, your ethics and the care you show in every single video. I genuinely think the hardest thing for people to grasp is empathy and that is something you do so so well & with so much care.
I hope you continue to heal physically and emotionally and please make sure you prioritize yourself. From myself & the Smoosh Face Gang (it's what my fiancé & I call our 9 cats 😸) we are sending you happy thoughts, healing vibes & joy.
WELCOME BACK SWOOP!!
Swoop, you take time and heal. We all love you so much and your well being is of the utmost importance.
My mum pulled me out of Irish Dancing due to the mums and how they behaved and also the teacher and students. As students saw this behaviour and thought it was ok, so took it to their fellow students and used said negative behaviours on them.
I was doing well in my dance exams, and that did *not* go down well at all.
My mum h8ed the toxic atmosphere and said nope, and pulled me out.
OMG, Swoop, I am so sorry!! This news brought me to tears to hear this. Please know that you are not alone! I have been through something similar. Take as much time as you need. We aren't going anywhere! You aren't just a CZcams channel to us. You are a genuine, strong, brave, beautiful & talented woman. And we love & care about you & your well-being. Thank you for sharing, especially when you didn't have to. Your honesty & compassion are what make you so relatable to the rest of us. And we respect you so much!!! I just bought a ribcage hoodie can't wait to receive it ❤
Get your notebooks out, people! Professor Petty has arrived! I am ready for petty!
Retty for petty
@@irismoon8435🎵I don't think you're retty for this petty🎵😂
THANK YOU Professor Petty!!! So happy to see you back!! I, along w thousands of other fans love you & will forever have your back!!!
Thank you so much for the update Swoop. To see that you're safe and healing makes me feel so much better. We'll always be here for you and remember hun... it's not your fault. It's never your fault. And you are loved.
that little body positive pep talk was so key 🥹🥰
Swoop, I have been a loyal follower (and Petty University customer) of yours for 3 years..I had NO idea u went through what you went througj recently..from the bottom of my heart I am SO very sorry and I hope you're getting the help u need and deserve...we are ALL here for you Professor Petty ❤❤❤
As someone who grew up playing the clarinet, figure skating, dancing, skiing, and was also a girl scout i’m scared 😭
Oh god we got another one LOL
JUST IN TIME FOR A TREADMILL WORKOUT! Thank you for all you and your team do Swoop!
thank you for reminding me to watch this on my Treadmill
Oh Swoop, your comments on body dysmorphia had me tearing up. I needed to hear that today ❤
I've never liked reality TV, even when I was a kid. Maybe it's because of my autism, but I just can't fathom how people can watch a show where a grown woman, who sounds like she smokes 20 packs of cigarettes a day, literally SCREAMS at innocent children, making them cry ... and consider that entertainment.
Abby Lee Miller reminds me of estranged parents claiming they don't understand why their children went no-contact.
thank you for your side remarks and for saying the things you needed to hear at different points in life, you don’t know how many people you’re helping. me included.
The Queen of Petty is back! I hope you're doing well, Swoop. Take all the time you need to heal. Your health is the most important thing, both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Your strength and badass attitude to keep on keepin' on brings me to tears. Please take all the time you need to heal, knowing we'll all be here whenever you're ready to do what I truly believe you were born to do. Love you Swoop
Love you, Swoop. Hope you're doing well and know how much you're loved and appreciated.
1:10:02 as someone in recovery from an ED, this made me tear up. Needed to hear this, SWOOP 💕hope you’re feeling better.
Hope YOU'RE doing better, sis❤
We have to always remember in cases like these, that it is never the fault of just one person. The moms who let their kids be abused, the network that happily recorded and aired the abuse, the advertisers that happily bought commercial slots alongside abuse, and the millions and millions of people who excitedly tuned in week after week to watch said child abuse for “entertainment”. I know, I know, wE lIvE iN a SoCiEtY, but honestly… yeah, it takes a whole damn society allowing this to happen for it to happen.
thank you for adding in the update, swoop. much love from your fans. stay strong.
also Abby speaking pitched up sounds just like JoJo 👀
We love and support you Swoop.
Grateful you’re still here and still sharing life with us.
Take all the time you need to heal.
We will be here. 💚
I cannot understand how these mom's felt ok subjecting their daughters to that toxic environment. Was the "fame"/exposure/money really worth it? It's fucking sad
it's because they didn't love their kids and see them as individuals... they saw them as cash cows and a way to make themselves feel better about their sad lives.... Girls (because I refuse to call those people woman as they certainly don't act like it) like that shoud NEVER have children and if they do they should lose all rights to their kids... People forget children like these can get hurt or even murdered by other people and putting them on stage in these skimpy outfits and dancing to sexual songs DEFINENTLY is guarenteeing something bad will happen to their poor kids
They wanted to leave but they were already locked in by the contracts and they would’ve owed hundreds or thousands of dollars had they tried to break the contract they were risking losing everything they had because Abby would have sued them. Plus the kids kept wanting to go back because they just wanted to dance.
Thank you, I honestly literally needed to hear that, because I Am dealing with Somebody that I was Really Close Friends with and Somebody, that is The Only one in My Life and I have gotten so annoyed by Her because She wants Everything that I have and she's crossed so many boundaries of Mine and I. Didn't want to leave her but you have truly made me decide. I'm going to leave her. And no, I'm gonna cry, but that's okay.Cause I'll be okay
🫂♥️Stay safe. Do not announce it to her. Wait til she is out and leave. Don’t go where she expects you to go. Cut it off completely. Thoughts and prayers are with you. You can do this.
I've listened to your body speech in the second to last section more than once now. You have no idea how much I need to hear that, Swoop. I could go on about the reasons why, but all I really wanted to say is thank you. I hope you know your own worth too. I'm sorry you've gone through too much over the last while especially. YOU are a champion and so worthy too ❤
Just that small clip in the beginning I wasn't expecting this. Thank you. You seem very strong and humble and that can be rare these days. I'm glad that you have supportive people around. For me just hearing you express the gratitude...wow thank you. I don't know you but what encouragement you just passed on. Lately I've been fighting some battles myself and I do well but hearing you be real for a few minutes strengthens me to the core. Again thank you and I wish you the best. Keep Swooping. You're an excellent raconteur. Know you have a fan that sends his support and gratitude your way. Stay strong. 😊
We missed you Swoop. Hope you are doing better and thanks for supplying us with content.
When it's whole adults involved in shows like this, that's probably okay(ish). But involving minors who don't have the ability to consent to anything like this is unbelievably wrong.
Swoop in case no one told you today, thank you. I adore you! You are not only beautiful but you are so brilliant and have talent beyond words. Sending you a cyber hug and smooch (it’s ok. I could be your great grandmother). Have a glorious day. I love your videos. They help me through my toughest of rough days (my son is 30 and I am his 24/7 caregiver. He has PANDAS (strep in the brain- no cure)). I am watching you after a very long day of self injurious behaviors and non stop screaming. So needed! ❤
Swoop I'm sending you all the love and support. I'm happy to see this doc, but I care even more for your well-being 💜
1:10:21 you do not know how much I needed this message. I’m 2 years into the hit show of grief and I am not in my best body shape… I needed this thank you Swoop
*hugs* from a random stranger who felt the same way about that bit. Sending you some positive vibes. ❤
As a former anorexic who is struggling like hell rn, thank you swoop.
Thank you as always for your kindness and wisdom to this space and everyone who may come across it. I am a firm believer in reminding others what they already know and reassuring those that need it. Its the most difficult thing to do for yourself, so when you do it for others, and they reciprocate, more people can feel seen, heard, and gain some healing from their trauma. There's so many of us out there, and it helps that, even in passing, even if none of us will ever speak to or know each other personally, people can still show that basic kindness a lot of people were trained out of. Much love to you, Swoop. 💜
I’ve genuinely thought of & prayed for you so many times after that community post. You do SO much to support & speak up for so many, you deserve the same back. I don’t have social but on that community & your swoop too video I’ve said to give yourself the same care & grace you’d tell someone else to for themselves. That helps me at times. Glad to see ya back & I continue to wish you healing & peace.💜💜💜
Hi Swoop, I’m doing that now. I’m getting help from mental health. I lost my grandson to all drowning two years ago and I kind of check out a lot of times. Sending you love light and prayers hoping that you’re doing better.❤ I really couldn’t stand to watch this all the yelling and shouting the same like housewives didn’t they worry about their kids being sold on the black market I never watched it so I don’t know
Hope you’re feeling better swoop 💕 take all the time you need to feel better thank you for amazing content as always
You should do a deep dive into what Hollywood has done to child actors. Give kid drugs and diets. What they did to Judy Garland, Mickey Rooney, and Jackie Cooghan.
The way you can deliver an insanely researched doc with dark subjects but make it informative, enlightening, and positive is an art form 💜💜 I’m so sorry to hear what you have been fighting through recently swoop. Sending you love and light. Thank you for always shining.
I am SO sorry to hear about the ‘update’ 😢 I hope you’re doing okay and sending love!! 💛
When I watched it the whole show took me maybe 15 minutes to watch because I fast forwarded through all of the ridiculous yelling and fighting. All I wanted to watch was the dancing 🤷♀️
This is so funny to me, because the other day, a friend of mine who works at Heathrow airport in London called me and told me that he had just met Abby Lee Miller. Apparently she was very rude and very entitled, and when told that she couldn’t do something, she held up her phone with her Instagram followers and said “Big mistake”, before riding off in a huff on her wheelchair. Honestly, we are often quick to remind people that reality TV isn’t necessarily real and people are often not how they’re portrayed; yeah, Abby Lee Miller absolutely is that way.
a SWOOP doc on dance moms! MY DAY HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN MADE!
My favorite part of this video was Swoop's update by far. So happy to see she's recovering and taking care of herself to come back to what makes her feel most inspired ❤❤
CORRECTION for 23:05 -all of the og girls except vivi anne dance with abby before the show, brooke was abbys fav before maddie
While I understand that entertaining any type of athletic/professional training as a child is time-consuming and requires discipline on sometimes a premature level, it is the responsibility of every adult around to keep the child physically and mentally safe.
I'm so happy to hear you're OK Swoop, and give Mama Swoop a giant hug and kiss for being amazing and helping you through this horrible time. 🖤❤️🖤