Top 5 Brutal Most Offensive Stand Up Jokes
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- čas přidán 18. 09. 2018
- A top selection of some of the most brutal jokes we could find from the top comedians. Not for the faint hearted.
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The biggest joke is the Audio quality
The audio quality is fine with most of them
Its called British accent
On one or two I couldn't hear some words they were saying that seemed very important :/
Marcin Puzdrowski 😆🤣
I think it's slightly sped up, to avoid copyright, and then the audio quality is not good enough to handle even that slight change. Try putting it to 0.75 speed and you'll hear the speed seems normal but the quality is still damaged (by the speed shift I think/
You know what happens when you get offended? Nothing.
Used to be that way not so sure anymore lol you have mobs of “offended” people
when you get offended means your ego are affected
Spoken like a true conservative, the lord will bless you
C Doh the only thing hurt is their feelings.
All hail the snowflake generation
Karen has left the building
Hahaha
I’ll give her this, at least she just left and didn’t make a scene. She found she couldn’t stand his act and so removed herself rather than ruin it for others.
Maybe she lost someone to it and knew what would be coming and couldn't take it... "That is a possibility"
@@jdsbindra Maybe she just had to poop. It happens.
How do you know she wasn’t heading to the bathroom?
Some people automatically see what they want to see.
“Comedy isn’t really about being nice. It’s a way to air out the ugly things people think.” - Seth Green.
As joker :)
Seth Green would say that because he isnt funny
Oooohhh he caught me off guard on that last one. All those jokes were still funny tho
That’s the thing about “dark humor” that people do not seem to realize. People don’t want to talk about things that gets them discomfort. And dark humor is a way of talking about the problems that really exist, but most of the people close their eyes on it.
@@danielcarreira654 I concur. It's a sad time we're living in bc of the backlash from those offended by ANYthing being said
mrbigg151 I think once someone said that the problem is not by whom tell the joke, but by who interpret it. Because a joke is just that. A joke. For example, I make a joke about a disabled person, in a wheelchair, you can get 3 reactions by this, either people perfectly healthy gets offended, even though it’s not about them. And then, people in the wheelchair, half can actually find it funny, because they hate people feeling “sorry” for them, and the other half might feel offended. However, if it’s delivered nicely, you can make a joke about it, and touch in a matter important for inclusivity. It’s like, if you say someone is fat, you are offending that person, but if you say someone is skinny is it suppose to be a compliment? Double standards, it’s always by who interpret the joke.
2:50
@@danielcarreira654 untill the dark humor is against you... not so funny meow.... for example... if i make a dark joke about a jew.. i can get a ticket or thrown in jail for anti semitism...... but i i make a dark joke about a muslim... im a hero that dares to speak...
David crosses joke was soo offensive one lady walked out
I thought he was going to say, "because god is a pedophile"
...and he was only half way through the joke.
She should have stayed for the punchline
maybe his child have been shot...who knows?
Nimus Works I’m a Christian but can understand the joke.
She’s prolly a hard bible thumper that was like “you don’t question or blame God, thats too far!”
Or maybe her period came on suddenly at the wrong time.
Didn’t the last one steal the chipmunks
Yeah. The chipmunks were also apart of those virgins he was talking about
JettBlack 19 not after cross got ahold of them they weren’t
Was literally thinking that
All of these jokes are less offensive than the worst of Anthony jeselnik
This is true
Yeah I've only just recently watched his Netflix special's and love his dark sense of humor.
You men the best of Jeselnik I would suggest.
That guy is like dark series in comedy you can't predict him
Jeselink is the weakest link (ha. ha.) in comedy. Dude has one joke.
Maybe someone already mentioned this... Why is everyone assuming the lady leaving David Cross' show was offended when MAYBE she just had to go take a shit?
That was definitely a doody walk😂🤣
@@justrob4586Haaaaaaaaaa
I thought she left b/c she had child who died.
Offense is never given, it's taken. - Gervais
No that was Fry
It’s like poop
Comedians might not mean to offend, but they certainly intend to shock, and this may often mean giving offence.
Jimmy Carr said it as well
The use of the word 'offended' in some way puts the fault on the person hearing the 'joke' and not on the 'comedian' telling it. The point is that these 'jokes' are appalling and disgusting. No decent or empathetic person could ever laugh at anything to do with rape. This is something only a psychopath would laugh at. Carr, and anybody who tells or laughs at jokes about rape should be ashamed of themselves.
I'm kind of surprised that Louis CK isn't on here.
@Jimmy Peeps Yeah Louie mostly just makes fun of himself and the awkward situations he gets himself into lmao
Dont feel like we should appreciate guys that sexually harass women
@Johnny G Brenner Yeah you might think so, I dont. If somebody has done something fucked up I dont feel like supporting them as a comedian or artist or whatever.
@Johnny G Brenner Yeah man
@@TheFelixpax He asked them. They said yes and said they didn't feel pressured to say yes. Is it weird? Absolutely. But they didn't say no, nor did he pressure them to say yes. That's their account of it too
Why would you go to see David cross if you can't handle the jokes he makes about religion and alot stuff he's know for.
The irony of his surname tho...
(And it's the same as mine, but in a different language lmao)
Because he's Tobias and he was so silly on that show.
He's not really that funny though
@@matheuscruz8574 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LIKE.
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She had to take a dump.
It's scary that the number two was considered less offensive than offending a religion.
Probably cause the religion one involves shooting kids so god can let them be raped by suicide bombers like??? It’s scary but not for the reasons your thinking...
Number 2 was definitely less offensive than number 1 in every way
Did you completely miss the joke? He implied that the kids who died in school shootings go to heaven and get fucked by isis terrorists
Boyton Do you know any religion that involves shooting kids for them to be raped in heaven ? Did you even understand the joke to begin with ? Come on man, don’t let a joke made to be offensive teach you about Islam.
@@haytem3201 I think you missed the point of his comment. He's telling the original commenter why it's ludicrous to think a joke insulting women is worse than a joke about kids being shot to get raped in heaven by suicide bombers
The “make something up” bit is one of my all time favs. I died laughing when I first heard this
no
Still laughing
It’s hilarious 🤣😂
it's even funnier in context...
I love freedom of speech and non PC humour
There is no such thing as PC humor
PC humour, otherwise known as regular humour.
this has nothing to do with freedom of speech lmao. people seemingly have gone so far against PC that they get offended by people being offended, imagine that! 2020 is a strange time indeed
You’re so brave
Your freedom of speech is slowly being taken away, sadly comedians will only get worse from now on
They’re called jokes we used to tell them before everyone got offended by everything
I am offended by your post.
@@deanmoncaster thats ok I’ll get over it
@@hardcorenacho1020 I might not, I'm offended by your Blaise approach
@@deanmoncaster I’m offended that ur offended
@@jacobriley5214 now I'm offended that you got offended at me being offended
Each one more offensive than the next. Each one needing to be listened to again and again to truly appreciate how brilliantly written they were.
None were funny nor offensive.
@@maryann7619a woman literally walked out, are you fucking retarded
That last joke was amazing
Yep. He is pointing out the ridiculousness of organized religions and their F’d up belief systems. It hurts and is funny because it’s true...
He went there hahahaahaha but he could be right!
I find it offensive that people find this offensive
I’m so offended by your statement!!
Now, whatta we do..?
Piedie Paab square up
ShotgunTeo didn’t you comment this on another offensive jokes video?
Wayno _ yes lol I think it was 10 offensive jokes or something
I am offended by you taking offense from other people finding something offensive.
Not offence it’s funny, people NEED to learn to take a JOKE
Except it is offensive which is why it's literally called offensive jokes. And again this humour isn't for everyone humour is subjective there is no requirement that everyone else that doesn't see the humour NEED to learn to take it. They just don't need to get exposed to it. Comedians know their audience which is why carr will make offensive and dark jokes where other comedians would not. The most important thing is to know which comedian you are going to see or what humour is in the friend group etc. If people go to a comedian and get offended that's their fault for not being aware of the comedians humour.
The thing is I get that but you'll always have "Schrödingers Douchebag"
@Zid02 I disagree. For intellectual growth and stimulation, it would be helpful if they were exposed to it
im trying but im getting flashbacks instead. help
@@nicholasselke5214 I disagree again for example if you tell jokes about things like rape some even victims of it might find it funny whereas others can have anxiety and flashbacks it can be quite a horrifying experience for them even though it's just a joke.
The last joke was so bad he couldn't even get to the punchline before people started walking out.
which one?
Maybe they had to pee ...
Why to to a comedy show if youre that easily offended and like how tf can you get offended that easily anyway come on now thats a tad ridiculous
@@goseone412 Just to be the center of attention and create public drama.
@@zubayeerahmed3801 the last one
Ricky's joke really got me at the end lmao holy fuck
Offensive jokes and no Jeselnik?
Agreed. He has some stunners
Anthony Jeselnik one of the best by far
The most offensive joke associated with Anthony Jeselnik is Any Schumer.
Come on, Ricky Gervais' joke is the essence of offensive. Not only is it the most 'wrong' it is spectacular.
The clip didn't show the whole theme of that joke. He goes on to say that he told that joke to a family gathering, at a dinner party, at the request of his friend. The guests were horrified and his friend said "not that joke, the other one".
@@PianoFatsoyep, the world's second most offensive joke (allegedly) was just part of the setup for the real punchline!
Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital is a massive omission.
that sounds funny just from the title😂😂😂 why I shouldn't be finding this funnt
It's funny as
The last 2 I don't find funny. Not because of it being offensive, just the jokes didnt quite land for me.
Thank you Rick Truman
Yeah they didnt even feel like jokes. I cringed really hard on the ricky gervais one and didnt find the last one funny even tho im not religious
Yeah... Anthony jeselnik do same kind of dark jokes and do it much better
Yea that last one I was like ughhh okay??!!!
@@tih0m 💥I just started standup and want ur OPINION.
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That first one hit me for a loop but even that wasnt enough to prepare me for that last one
I know I'm so sanitised to this because after Cross' joke I didn't even laugh with outrage; I just nodded and said, "nice."
I’m sure I would have liked those jokes if they spoke just a bit slower and spoke in English.
They’re all speaking English though?
Peaceful Dread if you are from the US they speak very fast compared to the comedians over here and they trail off to deliver the punch line or make a second comment almost under their breath. English and humor is just a shade different in the UK. Different spelling, slang etc. I was just overstating the case. I’m sure most Americans probably understand but I don’t. I can appreciate some British comedians not all though. I need sub titles for all British movies. Shame that.
Oh.....you're a bit slow I see
The Darkness, It Consumes Me Slower than a turtle with lumbago
Josh Randal ahhh I gotcha, what’s it like over in the UK?
2 of them were dark jokes not offensive
Isn't dark humor supposed to offend people?
@@markosbellezzi4841no
David Cross and Louis CK have the exact same comedy style
Anyone else not offended because your a grown adult who doesnt flip out when you hear something you dont like
A grown adult that doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're"? Doubt...
Them: that's offensive
Me, a Geordie: *YEAH, MATE*
Gervais' one 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
‘I know he has mysterious ways y’all’😂😂😂
That last one was savagely hilarious
2:58 a.m. and im laughing like im in a stadium 😂😂😅🤣🤣😂😆😂🤣
The most offensive jokes would be on the internet, anonymously. Not in a stand up routine cause no matter which comedian, there is always a limit while on the internet, nothing is out of bounds
I don't understand why yall are clowning the lady that walked out during the last joke. She didn't interrupt ou made it about herself, she didn't like it so she left.
^
Much better to just walk the fuck out instead of screaming random shit at the comedian and fucking up the joke for the other 100+ people in the room.
@@user-ud9op8sz1f 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LIKE.
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yeah I think so too. Actually it occurred to me that maybe she lost a child in a school shooting or something. But as long as didn't interrupt, she's honestly alright
Maybe she was busting to take a dump
@@RiyaSharma-ox5ev Interesting observation...and regardless of whether or not it's the case, it occurs to me that the fact that there is actually a reasonable chance that a parent who lost a child in a school shooting was in attendance at this particular show, should be enough to give us all pause.
Now these are good jokes, man this is perfect
Wow!! Cross joke stirred a lot of emotion!! Well done!!
Daaamnn as an african 1st joke was too good, I couldn't even laugh overwhelmed by emotions
I highly recommend the "volcano ash gig" by R. Gervais to the woman, who walked out.
Maybe she had a child gunned down at school???????
I love comedy, and comediens, they are the best at being extremely clever, funny and philosophers at the same time.
That last one I had to register to I couldn't believe it.... amazing
That last one caught me off guard😂😂😂😂
3:45 "Well, I'm not listening to this!"
The last one was crazzyy like wooaahhhh 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
David Cross just spoke too much truth for the believers to handle!
Sure, get all your information from a comedian. Good idea.
Atleast he has freedom to speak without the fear of any FATWA
@Nick Pruiksma So, instead of making a bad choice you're going to make a slightly less bad choice. What an improvement.
@Nick Pruiksma Any information from a comedian would be a waste of time.
@Nick Pruiksma the Bible is one of the most well sourced and reliable documents we have in history and the idea that people thought the world was flat is factually incorrect. Ancient Greek philosophical thinkers were able to prove the earth was round. The Bible was the reason for the United States being the most literate country in the 17 hundreds. It was the reason for the enlightenment. It is the reason our country has any shared morals at all. So get your facts straight before you decide to ignorantly insult a group of people.
Anybody else remember when David cross played kane?
The god awful “Year One”
David Cross is a genius.
That last joke was pure brilliance! Well played mate! Much love!
Now this is what comedy should be fearless and funny
What is in politically incorrect that makes it Soo liberating?
Deviating off the beaten path of stupidity I guess. I'm intentionally Politically Incorrect to give people a sense of life and blunt brutal honesty, if people dont like it them safe space dumbasses can fuck right off and do their own thing.
@@TheIroncladResearcher 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LIKE.
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I love jokes like these. Funny true story. I was watching the news and I started laughing. My wife looked at the screen and asked what I was laughing at. I rewound the segment pointed to the headline laughing again. She said she didnt get it, told her to read the headline. "Jewish school bus catches on fire." I started laughing and said those fuckers just cant catch a break.
God damn it i think that's one of the funniest things I've ever heard
Hahaha!! Wow! All 5 are great! 🤣🤣
We need this.
That last one is fucking gold lol. Jimmy Carr's was pretty great too 😅
12years and still waiting for serious jokes on Obama. * Yeah, I can feel your resentment for even suggesting it.
Keep waiting. He is “untouchable “ cuz of the bs associated with him
Well the man himself is the biggest joke of all. Can’t top it.
@@fernandog806
Trump says: Hold my Beer
Jasper Jenkins trump is the only one with balls enough to say anything
fernando guevara. The reason there aren’t many jokes about Obama is because he was statesmanlike, educated and erudite. Trump on the other hand is an orange, childish, racist, misogynistic, narcissistic, lying buffoon.
Brilliant!
That Ricky Gervais number two is still what I consider the most horrendous joke I've ever heard😂
The world's full of snowflakes now. Almost everything's offensive nowadays
This should be taken down and these comedians should be cancelled. That will make me feel good and show everyone I'm a good person and that I matter. Maybe then I'll be accepted.
Johnny Pickup 💀💀💀
smh we hate people who make jokes we gotta take matters into our own hands
That last joke totally caught me off guard damn🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That 3rd bit, when you hear the whole joke, is one of the best jokes ever.
The lack of Doug Stanhope is really disheartening
All of these amazing comedians make me laugh at their JOKES , they bring me entertainment because of their JOKES , okay so all the karens and Kevin's that take this personally , they are JOKES , lighten up 🤣🤣🤣
Woo that last one was savage! 😆😆😆
that lady storming out on the last one lmao
The female joke caught me off guard ngl but the rest were hella funny
Now I know why I'm gay... I respect women...
The last one oh nooo lmao
I was not expecting number 2
What a plot twist
David’s joke was the worst joke I’ve ever heard in my life lmao glad I heard it
I didn't get the third one cause the dude has such a hard accent. Anyone got the lyrics?
Father to daughter returning home - Hello darling how was the park?
Daughter - I had fun with my friends until the man came along daddy.
Father - Now darling, you have done nothing wrong so tell me everything that happened and daddy won't be mad.
Daughter - Well daddy the man took me behind a tree where nobody could see us.
Father - Ok and then what happened?
Daughter - Then e shoved me against the tree and said if I told anyone I'd get in big trouble.
Father - No sweetheart you're not in trouble, keep telling daddy what happened.
Daughter - Ok daddy, next he pulled out his thing and showed it to me.
Father - Ok and then what happened?
Daughter - That was it daddy.
The father spins around while he's furiously masturbating and yells "well make something up dammit!".
@@Numufar thanks man, but I was talking about the joke with the monkey and the loft
We need more brave ppl like these
Haha omg, that last one, though 😂
I cringed at each one but I cannot say I didn’t chuckle a little too. This kind of comedy takes balls and it is EXTREMELY respectable in my opinion. Well played , sirs.
I didn't find any of that offensive.
@MrGpt2010 taking offense is subjective anyways, as in some countries its ok to brutalize your spouse for not listening but in most western countries its horrifying. that's the beauty of comedy, you get to subvert it for fun.
@MrGpt2010 taking offense is subjective anyways, as in some countries its ok to brutalize your spouse for not listening but in most western countries its horrifying. that's the beauty of comedy, you get to subvert it for fun.
Do you want a cookie or something?
I am offended by that!
lol I kinda found the first one offensive ya know, because I'm African but it's ight I'm not a dick about it because it is kinda funny too
Bro the last one, i didn’t the villain from Alvin and the chipmunks had that much balls to make that joke, FairPlay man
Brilliant 🤣🤣🤣
That Ricky joke wasn’t the good honestly. I loved the rest, though.
Ricky Gervais is possible the most iconic comedian ever to exist on this planet
Well in his own mind .
Yoooo that last one caught me off guard😂
I have no words for that last joke. WOW. lol
Last joke had no substance. Delivery was good, but material was no more than " shock" value. The others offered at least a darkness tinted with humour.
There is a Dutch comedy guy called Hans Teeuwen. These guys don’t even stand a chance against him.
Ricky and Dave chappele do
3:04 didn't that guy steal the chipmunks
The last one though🤣🤣🤣
Sorry but most jokes by Doug Stanhope destroy these.
The last one didn't make much sense
I laughed so hard I nearly choked at that "making love to a mermaid" joke 😂😂😂
That last one was heavy. All are hits though!
Why is it more offensive because it contains an imaginary friend?
"Well make something up..." 😁😁😁
#4 was gold hahah
Make some thing up
Killed me lmao
I’d like to say that isn’t jimmy most offensive joke
Apparently Jimmy would disagree with you.
Lol a couple of them had me rolling, didn’t laugh at the others. Not bc they were too bad, i just didn’t like, find it funny. The punchline didn’t make me laugh. Oh well
Which david cross stand up is that?
im 13 seconds in and rolling. we need to bring this back bad