Bill Burr - no reason to hit a woman - how women argue (FULL) from You People are all the Same

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  • čas přidán 28. 01. 2016
  • The FULL segment about how women argue and why there's no reason to hit a woman from Bill Burr's show "You people are all the same"
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Komentáře • 14K

  • @Geralt--of--Rivia
    @Geralt--of--Rivia Před 5 lety +18224

    Real women don't hit men.

    • @crazy__cripple8704
      @crazy__cripple8704 Před 5 lety +406

      i just finished witcher 3. playing through ng+ worth my/your time?

    • @Geralt--of--Rivia
      @Geralt--of--Rivia Před 5 lety +200

      @@crazy__cripple8704 Was that your first playthrough?

    • @crazy__cripple8704
      @crazy__cripple8704 Před 5 lety +148

      @@Geralt--of--Rivia yup... including the 2 expansions

    • @Geralt--of--Rivia
      @Geralt--of--Rivia Před 5 lety +237

      @@crazy__cripple8704 Go for it, then. Witcher 3 has good replay value.

    • @----.__
      @----.__ Před 5 lety +227

      @@Geralt--of--Rivia You're a good bloke.

  • @brianpraul9758
    @brianpraul9758 Před 2 lety +10061

    Rule #1: Don’t try to heckle a comedian. It’s like trying to punch an MMA fighter

    • @rachekane
      @rachekane Před 2 lety +703

      Rule #2: Don't try to punch an MMA fighter. It's like pulling a gun on a President

    • @dsakurai
      @dsakurai Před 2 lety +574

      @@rachekane Rule #3: Don't try to pull a gun on a President. It's like trying to slap the Undertaker

    • @fabio5286
      @fabio5286 Před 2 lety +483

      @@dsakurai Rule #4: Don't try to slap the Undertaker. It's like trying to hug a snake

    • @lyrina3113
      @lyrina3113 Před 2 lety +422

      @@fabio5286 Rule #5: Don't try to hug a snake. It's like trying to avoid an ambush from Jake Roberts.

    • @yaelmurillo1863
      @yaelmurillo1863 Před 2 lety +378

      @@lyrina3113 Rule #6: Don’t try avoiding an ambush from Jake Roberts. It’s like racing against Usain Bolt.

  • @shimanoafro5110
    @shimanoafro5110 Před rokem +1857

    I love the woman who screamed 'Everyday!!!'
    She made bill's joke so poignant

    • @hunter423
      @hunter423 Před 6 měsíci +31

      Maybe she did it because she knew there were cameras but luckily it added to his bit perfectly.

    • @Ten_Thousand_Locusts
      @Ten_Thousand_Locusts Před 5 měsíci +46

      Let's all have a moment of silence for the poor sap that has to go home with that one

    • @lainarte
      @lainarte Před 5 měsíci +28

      @@Ten_Thousand_Locusts Why? Can't she joke about it like we did?

    • @Ten_Thousand_Locusts
      @Ten_Thousand_Locusts Před 5 měsíci +12

      @@lainarte was she joking though?

    • @LukeVincent-xt4dz
      @LukeVincent-xt4dz Před 5 měsíci +1

      ​@@Ten_Thousand_LocustsThat's true we should find out

  • @seanmulloy854
    @seanmulloy854 Před 6 měsíci +453

    "You rub one out. It's the champagne of victory." Just an amazing piece of comedy. Punctuated with so many good lines.

  • @myrr99
    @myrr99 Před 5 lety +8897

    it's weird seeing van gogh with two ears

  • @loganbibb2271
    @loganbibb2271 Před 6 lety +3285

    That shit about how his wife slapped him upside the head then said "were gonna discuss this later when you calm down" made me so mad and it didn't even happen to me lol

    • @rjones6801
      @rjones6801 Před 6 lety +335

      A year or so ago my wife thought I was mad at her for some reason. I wasn't, but she had it in her head that I was. So of course her reaction was to be a complete asshole to me for her own imagined reasons. In the matter of maybe 2 minutes she asks why I'm mad, I say I'm not, there's slight back and forth, and then she slams the bathroom door in my face. I completely lost it like I've never done before. I actually ended up punching a hole through the door and basically breaking it in two. I've had some anger issues in the past, but never like this (and never towards a person - usually dumb shit like technology). Women are absolute masters of pushing our buttons - and all because she THOUGHT I was angry at her for something. It's like they're so complicated within their own heads that they can't actually control it, and therefore they're all crazy.

    • @foxvulpes8245
      @foxvulpes8245 Před 6 lety +102

      Logan Bibb I got put through a cinder block wall once...needless to say I still won the fight. Once though, my ex-wife was neglecting me for like 2 weeks and tried to use boobs to manipulate me off what I was doing. When I told her I didn't have time for that, she got pissed and I didn't care. Tldr; She punched me in the back of the head so hard I saw stars....
      I threw my chair across the house and calmly said "if I did that to you, one of us would be going to jail right now... I suggest you go somewhere else right now."

    • @Radonatos
      @Radonatos Před 6 lety +117

      The thing is, if both were men (i.e. a friend or bro, repeatedly annoying you for attention) then you'd give him some 'attention' where it hurts, and afterwards both are still cool because they know it was deserved, the the whole issue is resolved.
      Women just lack those "you brought it upon yourself"-neurons and will probably pass any lie-detector tests when they claim "I didn't do ANYTHING!"

    • @margarethafalco63
      @margarethafalco63 Před 6 lety +16

      Wow ... ya'll had bad experience

    • @theasian24601
      @theasian24601 Před 6 lety +47

      Jay the Climber there is a comedian that kind of talks about that. His case for why Christians hate Gays, and his answer is because they found a loop hole. They don’t have to ever deal with women, and they get all the sex they want. Haha!

  • @virginiapicker
    @virginiapicker Před rokem +1192

    Still one of the greatest and most fearless comedy monologues of all time.

    • @Piitaa_Pain
      @Piitaa_Pain Před 10 měsíci +11

      you wanna go to baskin robbins?

    • @MrMb167
      @MrMb167 Před 8 měsíci +5

      @@Piitaa_Painyou buying?

    • @traceesmith01
      @traceesmith01 Před 6 měsíci +18

      ​@@Piitaa_PainTUNA CASSEROLE? 😡👊👊💥

    • @GodJustCopyPasteWhatISay
      @GodJustCopyPasteWhatISay Před 6 měsíci +5

      "How come you can't ask questions? If I got bit by a rattlesnake wouldn't you guys have some questions? How did it happen? Did ya not see it? Were ya fuckin with it?? Firemen put out a fire they don't just drive away afterwards they sift through the debris. How did it start? Here's an oily rag!"
      Hmm. Now what situation? In the present-day? Hmm. What's happening rn? Hm...

    • @--pussypatroll--
      @--pussypatroll-- Před 5 měsíci

      Agree 100%. This was remarkable.

  • @Simonio8
    @Simonio8 Před 10 měsíci +203

    "Ladies can you at least admit that every ass kicking doesn't just fall out of the sky". I lost it man.

    • @abdielrosero9685
      @abdielrosero9685 Před 2 měsíci +4

      😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Fr3k3
      @Fr3k3 Před 14 dny

      oh god I laughed so fuckin hard

  • @alecmccarthy5562
    @alecmccarthy5562 Před 5 lety +5941

    “Have a rough day at the factory, come home ‘tuna casserole?!’ And just start swinging” 😂

    • @izzyalice937
      @izzyalice937 Před 5 lety +51

      Alec McCarthy i read this right as he said it wtfff

    • @ayy_lmao
      @ayy_lmao Před 5 lety +158

      The way he says tuna casserole always kills me lmao

    • @Maksymetzmj
      @Maksymetzmj Před 5 lety +28

      Hahaha I love Tuna Casserole

    • @loristnorton3723
      @loristnorton3723 Před 4 lety +15

      @@Maksymetzmj do you swing after earing or before?

    • @tommydewitt8583
      @tommydewitt8583 Před 4 lety +6

      F’n hilarious!

  • @ggates5371
    @ggates5371 Před 4 lety +7121

    Ah yes, the classic “I’m gonna piss him off, then play victim when he gets mad” routine.

  • @RhapsodyinGlue
    @RhapsodyinGlue Před měsícem +28

    That woman who yelled “everyday” had one of those moments like in any sport where you have that magical shot without realizing it. The stars aligned

  • @northernking4787
    @northernking4787 Před rokem +179

    “Talking about hitting women sweet heart” gets me every time!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂

  • @Juggalo972
    @Juggalo972 Před 5 lety +5774

    "There's a reason to hit everyone, JUST DONT DO IT. There's a reason to push an old man down a flight of stairs, JUST DON'T IT. Ain't nobody above an asswhopping." - Chris Rock

    • @lt.generalofsalt4273
      @lt.generalofsalt4273 Před 5 lety +95

      Juggalo972 is do all of them🤔 down south we don’t play that shit. Man woman child .... raise em right or they’re getting slapped

    • @josephvonbulow1164
      @josephvonbulow1164 Před 5 lety +5

      Nice 😊

    • @bright.light.sights933
      @bright.light.sights933 Před 4 lety +60

      @Mildly Amusing Channel Asshole behavior needs to be punished. If it doesn't that shit is just going to get worse. People only change through pain.

    • @bright.light.sights933
      @bright.light.sights933 Před 4 lety +34

      @Mildly Amusing Channel you can punish without violence, but sometimes a dude needs eat a elbow to know talking shit isn't acceptable

    • @jamesphillips3135
      @jamesphillips3135 Před 4 lety +17

      Mildly Amusing Channel there’s a difference between discipline from abuse. Learn it.

  • @jaywilson4520
    @jaywilson4520 Před 3 lety +9659

    "Rub one out... it's the champagne of victory." Greatest line ever!

  • @lukeschilperoort9934
    @lukeschilperoort9934 Před 2 lety +1356

    I genuinely love how he derives so much humor while simultaneously teaching real life lessons by simply calling out the sheer dumbassery that’s been accepted by mainstream society and logically breaking it down. The “no reason to hit a women” bit seems edgy but it’s simply calling out the sheer arrogance that women are somehow above reproach compared to men and men just have to accept that. It solves literally nothing about what led to that conflict in the first place and does nothing to prevent future conflicts.

    • @timbaker8020
      @timbaker8020 Před 2 lety +18

      Well said 👍

    • @ararune3734
      @ararune3734 Před rokem +31

      Because it's not designed to fix or prevent anything, it's designed for a gynocentric society

    • @Anarcho-Communist895
      @Anarcho-Communist895 Před rokem

      Women and men both hold women accountable for stuff....Remember the Johnny Depp trial? Women came out of the woodwork to support JD instead of AH. The truth is no one's holding men accountable like we should. Men are murdering and raping at at least 10 times the rate women do, and it's not talked about nearly enough because a lot of men want to stay in denial.
      Also religion is very sexist towards women, but we don't talk about that much either because a lot of men get angry when they hear about sexism and we can't have that! Lots of male snowflakes out there can't handle hearing facts.

    • @1fromoutside
      @1fromoutside Před rokem +4

      ​@Ararune we still live in pretty much male centric society

    • @codywood1295
      @codywood1295 Před rokem +38

      ​@1fromoutside in many ways we don't though. I think men just talk less in general. Complain less. Get listened to less.
      Women get significantly less jail time for the same crimes as men.
      God forbid a women wants to take the kids away from a man, she starts with the advantage.

  • @westcoastkidd17
    @westcoastkidd17 Před 7 měsíci +121

    Could be the best live bit in comedy history when you take into consideration the material, the wording, the crowd interaction, and the overall execution. Bill executed his material like a seasoned vet and the woman who yelled, "EVERYDAY!!!" was a gift from the comedy gods because it fit so perfectly with his act. This is stand-up comedy at its finest.

    • @ChildrensRightsFirst947
      @ChildrensRightsFirst947 Před 3 měsíci

      I just want to know if the same people applauding this clip would have the same reaction if this was a female comedian saying similar things about hitting men. "But what did he do that led to it?" and all that.
      Also even if they were meant to be jokes, it's easy to how they could have influence in a world where abuse of men by women isn't taken seriously enough.

    • @MinosML
      @MinosML Před 17 dny

      ​​@@ChildrensRightsFirst947yes, and I'd go on a limb that it would take much less finesse and comedic skill in order to pull that off like Bill here
      Hitting men is always funny, by default, no context needed
      Not saying I agree, just saying that's the way it is, men are the disposable sex, once they reach adulthood.

  • @BrettonFerguson
    @BrettonFerguson Před 5 lety +3701

    I've told my wife "Maybe we should talk about it later when you have calmed down".
    I don't think I've ever seen her more visibly pissed off any other time for any other reason than after I said that.

    • @tmccann1876
      @tmccann1876 Před 5 lety +374

      Tried this about a week ago. We live together, she's losing her shit, I said "When you want to have an adult conversation we'll talk." 3 days of no zero talking later I finally had to give the olive branch. There's no win

    • @iilhares
      @iilhares Před 5 lety +841

      That's because you surrendered. You started on the moral high ground and then relented, giving in to an emotionally manipulative tyrant.

    • @josevillalobos547
      @josevillalobos547 Před 5 lety +17

      LMFAO I love it

    • @Scarletraven87
      @Scarletraven87 Před 5 lety +298

      @@tmccann1876 why had you to give up? Fucking idiot

    • @jeremyshipp4414
      @jeremyshipp4414 Před 4 lety +16

      Bretton Ferguson damn dude I feel this in my soul

  • @davejohnson9989
    @davejohnson9989 Před 3 lety +5249

    The funniest line in this whole joke is “it’s gonna fuckin rust”. Gets me every time.

    • @classygary
      @classygary Před 3 lety +72

      His dog shaking off the morning cold 🥶😎

    • @natwally7869
      @natwally7869 Před 2 lety +130

      Mine is ‘were you fucking with it?’ 😂

    • @bryceparascand2848
      @bryceparascand2848 Před 2 lety +33

      I love the whole set. Watched for years now and I still laugh just as hard

    • @adear2756
      @adear2756 Před 2 lety +90

      @@classygary The dog thing is actually a reference to an older joke, where the dog feeds off his anger, so like mans best friend doesn't know why dads mad but he's on his side so he's mad too. That's why the dug was shaking like a psycho, bill was raging and the dog was amping up right next to him lol

    • @arenasification
      @arenasification Před 2 lety +3

      @@adear2756 exactly. was thinking about forwarding this to a friend and he wouldn't understand the dog thing, since he doesn't know the special :D

  • @prlreviews1729
    @prlreviews1729 Před 2 lety +66

    “You rub one out, that’s the champagne of victory” I definitely felt that 😂😭🏆🍾🥂

  • @Stravinsky75
    @Stravinsky75 Před 2 lety +29

    Love it when he 'stirs the cauldron' with the mic stand at 10:23

    • @juneperry7987
      @juneperry7987 Před 2 měsíci +1

      I didn't catch that the first time. Hilarious.😂

  • @chargersfan0560
    @chargersfan0560 Před 5 lety +6121

    “IM NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AND SHES NAGGING ME!” 🤣 bill ur the best!!!

    • @seanscanlon9067
      @seanscanlon9067 Před 4 lety +53

      In fairness the woman who shouted out actually said....
      "It's her right".

    • @syedrahim6199
      @syedrahim6199 Před 4 lety +32

      @@seanscanlon9067 ahhh that makes sense. But kinda see how Bill cant hear her right its far from him. Still that made a wonderful impromptu joke from Bill!

    • @husasizzle
      @husasizzle Před 4 lety +73

      "Talking about hitting women, sweetheart, AND I THINK YOU JUST ADDED ANOTHER REASON!" 😂😂😂

    • @ihsahnakerfeldt9280
      @ihsahnakerfeldt9280 Před 4 lety +17

      @@seanscanlon9067 No she didn't. She stressed the first word, which does not match the statement you wrote.

    • @seanscanlon9067
      @seanscanlon9067 Před 4 lety

      @@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 So what do you think was the first word there?

  • @doggieGZ
    @doggieGZ Před 7 lety +5611

    Oh man, the shit he said about women losing arguments is so true.

    • @usarmyfl1
      @usarmyfl1 Před 6 lety +485

      Oh yea.. They will start bringing up past issues which have no relation to the current argument because they have nothing else on you. As he said, you've won then.

    • @Charmer4856
      @Charmer4856 Před 6 lety +20

      I LOVE IT!!!!

    • @prw56
      @prw56 Před 6 lety +262

      After I noticed that my mother does this with me, my sister, and my father, I lost a massive amount of respect for her. It makes her look childish, and it prolongs the issue that started the debate in the first place.

    • @VuongNgocHieu99
      @VuongNgocHieu99 Před 6 lety +103

      my mother did this ..and its exactly why my whole family hates her .

    • @garintj1547
      @garintj1547 Před 6 lety +11

      Hiếu Vương Ngọc healthy relationship

  • @jacksondowdle5217
    @jacksondowdle5217 Před 11 měsíci +30

    I've listened to this bit dozens of times but it still never gets old

  • @gokuxavi270
    @gokuxavi270 Před rokem +17

    Love how this bit has a woman positively heckle and another woman negatively heckle and they both just work great

  • @jerami101
    @jerami101 Před 5 lety +7909

    My wife was talking negative about my mother, each statement got worse and worse. When I defended my mother, and told her to stop talking smack about my mom, she asked me what good my mother ever taught me? I told her "She taught me to never hit a woman"! That shut her up!

    • @thebitgamer2425
      @thebitgamer2425 Před 5 lety +62

      😂

    • @felixr.4177
      @felixr.4177 Před 5 lety +176

      ooooooö my fucking God legend

    • @user-lb4bz8tu2k
      @user-lb4bz8tu2k Před 5 lety +140

      @@StandYourGroundHomestead I'm very concerned for the amount of Freud I feel from your comment. Are you sure you only love your mom as a parent?

    • @JulianTimMusic
      @JulianTimMusic Před 5 lety +70

      J Ron holy shit dude! You got serious issues

    • @AGreatDayForHockey29
      @AGreatDayForHockey29 Před 5 lety +23

      sounds like a threat, i dont approve jerami

  • @dickdoug35
    @dickdoug35 Před 5 lety +4305

    This guy should be a marriage counselor.

    • @righttoexplain
      @righttoexplain Před 5 lety +32

      He is.

    • @gunchief0811
      @gunchief0811 Před 5 lety +52

      HE IS! IM GETTING COUNSELING AS I WATCH!

    • @TheWartHawg
      @TheWartHawg Před 5 lety +98

      I learned in my last marriage that marriage counseling is just paying someone to tell the husband how wrong he is, because they know damn well that they will never get anywhere with the wife.

    • @ByWayOfDeception
      @ByWayOfDeception Před 5 lety +16

      @@TheWartHawg amen brother. Exactly what happened and continues to happen with my EX wife. They always work on the more reasonable one.

    • @TheWartHawg
      @TheWartHawg Před 5 lety +14

      @@caitlinb.9596 Exactly why they work on the man. They've studied the experiences of others and have learned that a clam can't be reasoned with. Therefore the goal becomes perception manipulation and modification of the guy. If they can get the guy to live within the craziness of the woman, they have a win, and they know that's the only way they'll get it.

  • @rohanserrao137
    @rohanserrao137 Před 2 lety +42

    "I'm talking about hitting women, sweetheart, and I think you just added another reason!" 😆😂

  • @alanw505
    @alanw505 Před rokem +58

    After 22 years of marriage I discovered that winning an argument just makes your wife madder.

    • @bowmaj8666
      @bowmaj8666 Před 8 dny

      It doesn't even have to be an argument. It can just be a minor disagreement, and she'll be mad at you if you're right and she's wrong. It doesn't even need to be important.
      "No, Burt Reynolds did not play Richard, Monica's boyfriend in Friends! That was Tom Selleck!"
      She Googled it, and wouldn't talk to me for hours!

  • @lekhapratap1652
    @lekhapratap1652 Před 5 lety +4669

    I am a girl, I totally agree.
    Bill, The truthful savage.

    • @lekhapratap1652
      @lekhapratap1652 Před 5 lety +46

      Came 4 the Cookies XD lol

    • @tdl487
      @tdl487 Před 5 lety +31

      @@cameforthecookies6419 obliviously you don't get the humor but of well lol

    • @rhapsodyinglue8758
      @rhapsodyinglue8758 Před 5 lety +16

      Are you single?

    • @rhapsodyinglue8758
      @rhapsodyinglue8758 Před 5 lety +21

      That was clearly just a compliment for those who understand CZcams. "The over thinking is very strong with this one" lol

    • @cameforthecookies6419
      @cameforthecookies6419 Před 5 lety +5

      *Noice* 😂 👌

  • @ickymclicky308
    @ickymclicky308 Před 5 lety +7236

    He's not wrong, lol. I love my gf very much but sometimes when she is losing an argument, she will bring up things that dont even pertain to our conversation....just to get an edge and sometimes it's really hurtful shit.

    • @jim2245
      @jim2245 Před 4 lety +81

      Why I carry a Zippo 😉

    • @anypercentdeathless
      @anypercentdeathless Před 4 lety +21

      Tots m'gots.

    • @AngelicBreath1111
      @AngelicBreath1111 Před 4 lety +364

      You might need counseling or break up, depending on how terrible the things she says are.

    • @afterburned06
      @afterburned06 Před 4 lety +553

      Respect goes both ways, just let her know you dont need that shit and it needs to stop. Better to be single and rub one out than be with a woman who doesn't respect you.

    • @Rick_Sanchez_C137_
      @Rick_Sanchez_C137_ Před 4 lety +37

      Icky Mclicky
      Dump the bitch!

  • @daleschuls1020
    @daleschuls1020 Před 2 lety +34

    I come back to this just to hear that woman yell in the break of the joke "EVERYDAY" and I swear Bill Burr is one of the most real comedians left out there today. That symphony, unplanned, moment of the crowd participating in the joke is what makes comedy, comedy. He expected that but didnt expect that comment, and the crowd delivered.

    • @edithbannerman4
      @edithbannerman4 Před 4 měsíci

      @Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?

  • @dedgzus6808
    @dedgzus6808 Před 2 lety +114

    I dated a woman that had no idea what respect or decency was. We'd be out in public and she'd be one of those "get all loud and make a scene" types. I'd always tell her that she's gonna end up getting me arrested because some drunk guy is gonna hear her and think he needs to put his two sense in and get assaulted in the process. I'd just walk away from where ever we were no matter where and leave her there for a while. She stabbed me with a key. Eventually yea, she got hit.

    • @someidiotwithafryingpan3752
      @someidiotwithafryingpan3752 Před rokem

      Good. If she hit you first she had it coming.

    • @_Cato_
      @_Cato_ Před rokem +10

      Based

    • @rockoyhead
      @rockoyhead Před 5 měsíci +4

      This is why you need to show you are the one with the leverage not them. Let them think if they fuck up they pay not you. It's not them leaving which is scary, it's you leaving. What woman, especially when they get older, is more valuable than the man? Think about it. Give attention to other girls.

    • @zackyzackyzacky1
      @zackyzackyzacky1 Před 5 měsíci

      @@_Cato_on a true story

    • @dedgzus6808
      @dedgzus6808 Před 4 měsíci

      @@kellym8287 oh yea, I got outta there years ago

  • @dollaz808
    @dollaz808 Před 4 lety +5563

    Poor Johnny Depp. If only more people watched Bill Burr...

    • @DavidE_dos
      @DavidE_dos Před 4 lety +246

      Then his case would’ve been worse. He should’ve never married the skank.

    • @soulreaper5510
      @soulreaper5510 Před 4 lety +9

      @@monicapyle id do more than that

    • @ComicWriter-ml3qt
      @ComicWriter-ml3qt Před 4 lety +31

      James Bond James you’d fuck anything that isn’t nailed down

    • @soulreaper5510
      @soulreaper5510 Před 4 lety +7

      @@ComicWriter-ml3qt 😂😂😂

    • @Moonshine449
      @Moonshine449 Před 3 lety +10

      @Jolyne Cujoh that's what he's saying

  • @StonyRC
    @StonyRC Před 7 lety +18552

    "Rub one out like a man, it's the champagne of victory" - GENIUS!

  • @The_ZeroLine
    @The_ZeroLine Před rokem +15

    “Worked like a charm. Worked like a charm!”
    “Even hockey has two minutes for instigating.” An underrated hilarious line.

  • @midnightlupin1
    @midnightlupin1 Před rokem +125

    100%. I had a buddy of mine actually got married last year. Didn't even last a fucking year because this.... Cretin he married, was as unstable as an out of balance scale. This woman destroyed him and he just took it all. When I was living with them, multiple times I thought to myself, "I wonder how she'd feel if I did the exact same to her?" About 3 months of that crap and I decided to move out. She kept needling me on why I was leaving, I told her she couldn't handle the truth, and low and behold, I was right. I didn't get a quarter of the way through my explanation and she loses her damn mind! It was ridiculous. Thankfully, my friend filed for divorce and is suing her for physical, mental and emotional damage. It's literally an open and shut case cuz I'm one of 5 witnesses

    • @jonathanjrgensen6774
      @jonathanjrgensen6774 Před 6 měsíci +1

      Glad you both got out - How did the court case go if you don't mind me asking?

    • @midnightlupin1
      @midnightlupin1 Před 6 měsíci +13

      @@jonathanjrgensen6774 Sadly he went back to her and dropped the divorce. He's no longer my friend but I did manage to get a settlement and she lost her job in the process of it all going down

    • @theultimatemoderate8165
      @theultimatemoderate8165 Před 5 měsíci

      @@midnightlupin1 You should try to tap that thing, bet it grabs back. Frankly it was the only thing that held us together. And I was right, so far every relationship after was not as good in the sack. Go for it, I'll bet she's up for a way to get back at her ex even if you're on her enemies list.

    • @midnightlupin1
      @midnightlupin1 Před 5 měsíci

      @@theultimatemoderate8165 I would much rather put my genitals through a wood chipper than touch the lecherous troglodyte.

    • @midnightlupin1
      @midnightlupin1 Před 3 měsíci

      @@theultimatemoderate8165 I would much rather slather my genitals in honey and insert them into a box with poisonous hornets than put them anywhere near that. She's hideous on both the outside and inside. Plus I'd rather not get gonoherpasyphillus 27.

  • @DCul
    @DCul Před 2 lety +3621

    The headphones story is absolutely relatable. That shit is insane. Poke the bear like 10 times and then when the bear snaps they go, "Why are you so mad?" That or a similar stupid response.

    • @sohailsayeed9361
      @sohailsayeed9361 Před 2 lety +185

      agreed! it shows a painful degree of immaturity. That's just as petty and immature as walking around blasting the music, maybe even more!

    • @hoosier3060
      @hoosier3060 Před 2 lety +132

      Gaslighting.

    • @ghost245353
      @ghost245353 Před 2 lety +13

      He pissed her off because he was being petty. She demanded to talk and he blew up.

    • @lalanagunarathne7298
      @lalanagunarathne7298 Před 2 lety +196

      @@ghost245353 she was petty first about the dog walking.

    • @pumpkinlyd4409
      @pumpkinlyd4409 Před 2 lety +53

      Unless someone hits you, you don't hit them, unless you are totally simple and incapable of a grown up response.

  • @JeffarryLounder
    @JeffarryLounder Před 5 lety +4306

    My uncle got beat up, violently, by his now ex-girlfriend. The police arrived, came inside, and arrested him. Even though she was clearly the one at the scene who beat him up, the cops still took my uncle away to a temporary cell. Luckily, he was only fined but still, that's just fucked up.

    • @aileenzhao7951
      @aileenzhao7951 Před 5 lety +212

      yikes

    • @NobleNobbler
      @NobleNobbler Před 5 lety +667

      That's the shit going down now. The power women weild is outrageous. Your uncle, if arrested, is now part of a permanent database even if his records are "expunged" or "sealed".

    • @user-wl6bw3jl4n
      @user-wl6bw3jl4n Před 5 lety +189

      +Jeffarry
      Fined? Fined for what?

    • @JeffarryLounder
      @JeffarryLounder Před 5 lety +320

      Chris V He was fined with “harassment” or some shit like that. They knew they couldn’t just fine him for straight up assault, because he didn’t do it. So they aimed lower and accused him of harassing her.

    • @Add183
      @Add183 Před 5 lety +480

      Your uncle should’ve gone to see a doctor recorded the injuries and sue the county for a miss handling of justice

  • @fiddleriddlediddlediddle
    @fiddleriddlediddlediddle Před 2 lety +91

    The woman who said "EVERY DAY!" rescued the joke.

  • @terrancemitchell3256
    @terrancemitchell3256 Před 11 měsíci +10

    “ we’re talking about hitting women sweetheart , and I think you just added another reason “ 😭💀

  • @naimalovespizza5377
    @naimalovespizza5377 Před 6 lety +749

    OMG, I died when the woman in the audience yelled, "EVERYDAY!!!!" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

    • @erikbaran7197
      @erikbaran7197 Před 5 lety +9

      Naimal - The feeling's mutual, hon.

    • @Mistanyycguy
      @Mistanyycguy Před 5 lety +26

      Later that night, her husband beat her ass lol

    • @kingjaven13
      @kingjaven13 Před 5 lety +1

      NaimaLovesPizza that was classic

    • @DIZAZZO
      @DIZAZZO Před 5 lety +2

      NaimaLovesPizza
      And how they brought you back from the dead to comment this?

  • @jarrodheglar1666
    @jarrodheglar1666 Před 3 lety +8644

    I was in a situation where I had no choice. It was my wife at the time. We got into an argument and she became very violent towards me in front of our kids. I didn't want my kids to see it so I tried to take them outside. My son was two years old at the time and she tried to snatch him away from me using a lot of force. She could have hurt him really bad.
    My gut reaction was to go into protective mode. I backhanded her and she slid half way across the house. She called the police and we both went to jail because we both had signs of an altercation on us.
    She took out a domestic violence order on me so to protect myself I took one out on her. When we finally went to court the judge looked at my ex and told her that I had the right and responsibility to protect my children from anyone including her. Dismissed my charge and asked me if I still wanted to press charges on her but I dropped them. If the situation were the same I would do it again but only to protect my children.

  • @sohamjoshi9353
    @sohamjoshi9353 Před 2 lety +30

    This aged really well

  • @murderburger1811
    @murderburger1811 Před rokem +7

    This is my favorite bit. Not only did it get me hooked on burr, but it changed my life substantially in handling relationships. Love this guy

  • @ArmandoMPR
    @ArmandoMPR Před 5 lety +3131

    Lol I love the chick that screams “EVERYDAY”

    • @369pendulum
      @369pendulum Před 5 lety +58

      I wish my girl would say that shit while sitting next to me. Look at the type of shit women can get away with!

    • @369pendulum
      @369pendulum Před 5 lety +69

      Daij Shut yo sexy ass up

    • @DracoGangLive
      @DracoGangLive Před 5 lety +103

      @@369pendulum
      This escalated quickly..

    • @jackspediceye9961
      @jackspediceye9961 Před 5 lety +13

      I would like a friend like her

    • @sdry
      @sdry Před 5 lety +3

      perfect timing.

  • @drake5118
    @drake5118 Před 5 lety +670

    8:00 "Come home 'TUNA CASSEROLE!' and just start swingin.." 😂😂😂😂 I'm in tears

    • @yaneyd93
      @yaneyd93 Před 5 lety +4

      Can someone explain this to me ? I'm not a native english speaker. i wanna know what it means, i bet it's hilarious.

    • @drake5118
      @drake5118 Před 5 lety +23

      @@yaneyd93 it doesn't really mean anything in particular, primarily just a piece of dark humor out of how America's domestic abuse can literally stem from the simplest of things, e.g. "Tuna casserole for dinner"

    • @yaneyd93
      @yaneyd93 Před 5 lety +23

      Thank you, i have just googled Tuna casserole and now i get it :D

    • @molostone8946
      @molostone8946 Před 5 lety

      @@yaneyd93 dimwit

    • @traviscrowell8946
      @traviscrowell8946 Před 5 lety +9

      Molo Stone racist

  • @amarevanhook7453
    @amarevanhook7453 Před 7 měsíci +2

    “EVERYDAAAAAYYY” had me dying

  • @razeru3386
    @razeru3386 Před 2 lety +19

    I have a shitty temper and my wife also has one, so we agreed not to scream at our faces or even go over each other's voice when in close quarters.
    I appreciate a lot how much we both actually comply with it.
    Practical strategy simply works amazing. Even though we never had a physical discussion one can tell with our crappy tempers the best is too be conscious about it and create all possible barriers.

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones Před rokem +6

      Communication is key in a relationship? Who knew! Snarkiness aside, good to hear you are working out

    • @christopher5200
      @christopher5200 Před měsícem +1

      Wear a party hat when discussing tense stuff.

  • @qymaruh
    @qymaruh Před 5 lety +2079

    Cause of Bill Burr, I've started winning arguments.
    He's right gents, Bob and Weave

    • @stonedjesus9887
      @stonedjesus9887 Před 4 lety +35

      @Charles Martel even tho you are right 99.999999999999999%, there is the VERY rare time that a man will win and that's why he's named Chuck Norris...

    • @saucegodnas7318
      @saucegodnas7318 Před 4 lety +3

      @Charles Martel Bob and Weave.

    • @jasondyrkacz8270
      @jasondyrkacz8270 Před 4 lety +47

      The moment she goes rogue, you win. Do the Colin Kaepernick and take a knee.

    • @fiftystate1388
      @fiftystate1388 Před 4 lety +8

      @Charles Martel A "draw" is a win sometimes. At least she stopped talking about it.

    • @fiftystate1388
      @fiftystate1388 Před 4 lety +1

      @@stonedjesus9887 Hey Adolph, you might like to hear how I stopped my ex-wife from calling me "The biggest asshole who was ever born." It's short and it worked.

  • @workingwomannyc4216
    @workingwomannyc4216 Před 2 lety +3688

    I’m a woman and I agree. I’ve seen (and heard) a lot of my male friends/colleagues get bullied by their partners. They took it because she’s a woman and these women had no empathy or respect especially when in public. Making fun of your man, demeaning him, yelling at him, slamming the door in their face wether in a room or car, whatever it is, it’s all disrespectful. There is a way to disagree. Don’t take advantage of this bias and abuse your position. Upsets me greatly because I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where both my mom and dad respected each other and argued like grown ups. Shameful what I’ve seen time and time again.

    • @ACertainGuy0
      @ACertainGuy0 Před 2 lety +14

      I've never been more irritated than when people pretend to know what Equality is. when most people claim "equality" when it suits their agenda, whatever it may be. Equality is equality, a man is equal to a woman and vice versa, and no other way.

    • @ReptilianAnusWizzard
      @ReptilianAnusWizzard Před 2 lety +11

      @@ACertainGuy0 equallity is when you punch her just as hard as any other guy

    • @rzwitdauncut
      @rzwitdauncut Před 2 lety +77

      im never letting sum chick ever disrespect me in public. if she wants to do in public everything can be handled right then and there

    • @darrenfleming7901
      @darrenfleming7901 Před 2 lety +68

      I think the issue is people see that most physical abuse in relationship is done by men and so they think abuse is one sided towards men. When you take into account verbal abuse and emotional manipulation it isn't that one sided anymore. Also, it's an outdated mindset to only chalk it up to the difference in physical strength, because if that were the case then people could just walk away from abusive relationships, but they can't because their a psychological aspect to it that boxes them in.

    • @tahmidjahin179
      @tahmidjahin179 Před 2 lety +15

      Would you like to go out on a coffee date someday?

  • @davidblairmusic
    @davidblairmusic Před 2 lety +13

    This is healing comedy at its best. Talking about things 90% of couples don't talk about, leading to 60% divorce rate and unhappy compromises of marriages of people too afraid to divorce.

  • @sweetmar.y
    @sweetmar.y Před 2 lety +15

    I wish I had the chance of standing next to this guy just so that I can hear him talk, I love his sense of humor so much 😂

  • @pcolt4
    @pcolt4 Před 2 lety +3707

    Bill Burr is such a freak genius at wading into that gray area along the socially taboo and verboten and then just toying with that boundary in a hilarious way.

    • @laynaTheLobster
      @laynaTheLobster Před 2 lety +42

      I mean, you're right, but why is talking about how to handle relationships properly taboo? I think that Bill Burr has a lot of good social commentary too.

    • @purplegoopguy
      @purplegoopguy Před 2 lety +39

      My guy dives across the line and pulls it with him

    • @Travelling..Bottle..Digger
      @Travelling..Bottle..Digger Před 2 lety +3

      yeah, he blew my mind 🖐👀

    • @trentjacobs3957
      @trentjacobs3957 Před 2 lety +1

      Burr, like Greg Giraldo are part of a very small group of comedians that can not only pull of pedophile jokes but, actually open with it....and nail it. Burr might not b the GOAT but....he might b.

    • @osio7528
      @osio7528 Před 2 lety +5

      @@trentjacobs3957 he definitely is the GOAT

  • @peteeastwood1635
    @peteeastwood1635 Před 5 lety +899

    Q:"Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?"
    A: "Being right makes me happy, darlin"

    • @fiftystate1388
      @fiftystate1388 Před 4 lety +16

      "Right or wrong, I'm right."

    • @afmghost1759
      @afmghost1759 Před 3 lety +14

      Her: Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?
      Me: Are you threatening me, master jedi?

  • @happyfoxtail2062
    @happyfoxtail2062 Před 2 lety +37

    I had an argument with my ex, she demanded my FB details since she thought I was cheating I was in shock at first I thought we were really good and said no at first then she got very heated that got me heated (if never strike because my "father" hit our mum and us, we didn't have kids but that left emotional scars on me) I said fine she went through it all and Nothing, then since we were on topic I said how about you show me yours? She said no and claimed "I thought we had more trust than that?!" I thought WOW!!! and that really fucked me off so I said "you gotta be whoring yourself out then ent ya?!" She slapped and punched me across the chest several times, it didn't overly hurt, so I say "that's you all over! You would never want to leave a mark on the face" then *!!BAMN!!* I got slapped HARD across the face, and I felt that jolt of electricity though my arm my body SCREAMING to hit her back but I left and as I went to leave she swung again then tried to grabbed me begging to stay I had to jump dodge and slide down the stairs to get out she chased me out the house and up several streets needless to say we broke up, THEN she said she was pregnant in a text I said rule out your FB buddies before you pull that shit on me, we caught her in a lie with that about having my baby aborted, so yeah after all of this I really wanted to at least slap her a little 😩🙄🤦

  • @christophernavarro9401
    @christophernavarro9401 Před 8 měsíci +2

    “Take a knee and run out the clock”
    Best advice ever! 😂

  • @HiddenTigerObviNinja
    @HiddenTigerObviNinja Před 3 lety +6198

    I can't put it into words how happy I am that somebody finally said it. I've had ex's literally throw my own mother's death back into my face during an argument. If I ever even came close to saying something like that to a female people would burn my house down. If we truly want to be equals we need to address both sides of the curtain.

    • @ihsahnakerfeldt9280
      @ihsahnakerfeldt9280 Před 3 lety +276

      God that's so fucked up. Imagine throwing the death of a close one into someone's face just because you're angry with them. The problem with the feminist cult is that it wants to have it both ways: equality for the good stuff (rights and privileges) but inequality for the bad stuff and the responsibility (e.g. being fair game for a beat up). They always oscillate between these two positions according to the situation so that they always end up with the advantage.

    • @ALJ9000
      @ALJ9000 Před 2 lety +91

      You gotta get those bitche$ out, they are way too toxic to be involved with

    • @TheTraditionalGolfer
      @TheTraditionalGolfer Před 2 lety +60

      I have this everytime i argue with my partner she can be very toxic......

    • @crystaleunoia3974
      @crystaleunoia3974 Před 2 lety +153

      @@ihsahnakerfeldt9280 It's not right for a woman to beat a man just like it's not right for a man to beat a woman. I see the double standard when it comes to women being violent towards men and it's disgusting, but just because women want equality shouldn't mean they are "fair game to for a beat up" because nobody should be beating anyone at all. Period. Nobody should be considered "fair game" because there shouldn't be a game in the first place. If you think that it's justifiable that people should be beaten for reasons other than protection, then you're siding with the women who get away with being violent towards men. I agree with your other statements, but I just wanted to put in my two cents on that one.

    • @marcant6223
      @marcant6223 Před 2 lety +9

      Bill has done a thing about equality like that too. Worth watching.

  • @uncle_cezar
    @uncle_cezar Před 3 lety +2800

    "Are you the idiot that walked in halfway through the special?" 😂
    Imagine paying to watch a special and getting called out for your BS in front of the crowd.

    • @denimchicken104
      @denimchicken104 Před 2 lety +17

      Pretty sure tapings are free

    • @wokeil
      @wokeil Před 2 lety +89

      @@denimchicken104 Nah everyone would come and ruin the show

    • @redrich7679
      @redrich7679 Před 2 lety +23

      The dude roasted a random person lol I would of left

    • @vanimaladventures
      @vanimaladventures Před 2 lety +26

      @@denimchicken104 Narrator: "They aren't."

    • @padraigdonelan
      @padraigdonelan Před 2 lety +70

      @@redrich7679 its a comedy set. gotta have atleast a little thick skin to not get offended every 12 seconds

  • @kennethmichael5758
    @kennethmichael5758 Před 6 měsíci +1

    i always come back to this clip .....and it gets new everytime i watch it ....THIS IS GOLD

  • @blue7lvn245
    @blue7lvn245 Před 8 měsíci

    This is his best set, by far my fav,

  • @darnell7871
    @darnell7871 Před 3 lety +1670

    “TUNA CASSEROLE!”
    I don’t why but it’s always that line that got me busting out laughing 💀💀😭😭😂😂😂

    • @josephleonard6695
      @josephleonard6695 Před 3 lety +22

      08:00 😂😂😂

    • @tomsmusic2049
      @tomsmusic2049 Před 3 lety +5

      Hahaha, same. I came to watch just for that bit

    • @asdasd-rp9hx
      @asdasd-rp9hx Před 2 lety +6

      @@stevendip5318 casserole is usually seen as leftovers and usually microwaved. it being tuna makes it even worse. not much to explain if you think about it for 2 seconds

    • @Oozywolf
      @Oozywolf Před 2 lety +9

      Lmfao to this day might be the funniest 2 seconds of any stand-up comedy. Still the best overall segment of all time.

    • @ngseverything5130
      @ngseverything5130 Před 2 lety +3

      I'm Wheezing

  • @markturney8843
    @markturney8843 Před 5 lety +2099

    “She’s not even in a relationship with me, and she’s nagging me!” 👍

    • @polymathtutoring1292
      @polymathtutoring1292 Před 5 lety +35

      *"I'm not even in a relationship with her, and she's fucking nagging me!"*

    • @SonicTheHedgeRat
      @SonicTheHedgeRat Před 5 lety +31

      @@polymathtutoring1292 Pay attention meat head you saying the same shit he said...😐

    • @iBloodxHunter
      @iBloodxHunter Před 5 lety +10

      I feel like that was just a misunderstanding

    • @noahvburk585
      @noahvburk585 Před 5 lety +2

      @@iBloodxHunter reference to 8 Mile lol

    • @ycnthegod2718
      @ycnthegod2718 Před 5 lety +2

      @@SonicTheHedgeRat I literally just got done watching the ending battles lol

  • @michaelrey2159
    @michaelrey2159 Před 2 lety +4

    “It’s gonna fuckin rust”. This is the funniest moment of this entire segment by far, and there are a lot in here. I find myself watching those few seconds on repeat quite often.

  • @D.Antony
    @D.Antony Před 8 měsíci +2

    One of the absolute best...EVER!

  • @tayeelshaikh9228
    @tayeelshaikh9228 Před 6 lety +273

    "We're talking about hitting women sweetheart....and I think you just added another reason." Lol haha that was one of the best comebacks towards a heckler.

    • @leftheodo
      @leftheodo Před 5 lety +1

      Tayeb Elshaikh You should see the blind hecler and how bill turned it up. It's amazing

    • @KandelaGC
      @KandelaGC Před 5 lety

      lmao, I think she wasn't talking to him.

  • @aliquidgaming1068
    @aliquidgaming1068 Před 5 lety +3492

    My mother is a Hispanic. She was beat and abused by my father. She left him eventually. However she tells me this...
    Don't ever hit a women. You're a man and you're much stronger. However if a girl thinks she can just hit you over and over again cause she is a girl and can get away with it or wants to fight you like a man then you fight her like a man. Don't let any female place their hands on you like that.

    • @aasdfaafa7110
      @aasdfaafa7110 Před 5 lety +35

      Why would she tell u the latter part? seems to have nothing to do with what she was going through

    • @David-zx9nh
      @David-zx9nh Před 5 lety +427

      @@aasdfaafa7110 Or maybe, she was telling him he has the right to defend himself, and he's not a punching bag for women. if a woman hits me, I'm hitting her back. Equality and all that. More people need to tell there worthless daughters it's not ok to put their hands on others.

    • @aliquidgaming1068
      @aliquidgaming1068 Před 5 lety +176

      @@aasdfaafa7110 she told me that cause she is sensible and knows a man and women should defend themselves. She doesn't think a man should ever place their hands on a female but if a female hits a man then that man has a right to defend themselves

    • @imlookinatyou5251
      @imlookinatyou5251 Před 5 lety +130

      you have a good mother

    • @a46475
      @a46475 Před 5 lety +16

      Your mom is an idiot.

  • @JEFFBLACK04
    @JEFFBLACK04 Před 2 lety +4

    I think I’ve watched this 20+ times

  • @dancarnahan1919
    @dancarnahan1919 Před rokem +5

    "I'm starting to turn this franchise around" lol. Makes me bust out into laughter everytime!!

  • @sowen0123
    @sowen0123 Před 3 lety +2348

    If I'm ever in the court for hitting a woman, I want bill burr as my lawyer.

    • @Latitz
      @Latitz Před 3 lety +51

      And imagine if judge was woman there. 😂

    • @MidoReigh
      @MidoReigh Před 3 lety +71

      He won't represent you if you hit a woman. That's the whole point.

    • @armadylsmage6658
      @armadylsmage6658 Před 2 lety +59

      @@MidoReigh his whole point is you shouldn’t just dismiss everything and focus on result. You have to actually look at what happened and lead to that point.
      He even says it “you cut out the build up and you’re left with the result. It’s crazy”

    • @OiVinn-eq1ml
      @OiVinn-eq1ml Před 2 lety +1

      Lol

    • @pr1me840
      @pr1me840 Před 2 lety +3

      He will need a real law license not one from community college.

  • @TariqKhan-xt5qs
    @TariqKhan-xt5qs Před 6 lety +3230

    Tuna Casserole and start swinging, That was hilarious.

    • @bigsauceboss4234
      @bigsauceboss4234 Před 5 lety +40

      This whole video is hilarious

    • @nickarry
      @nickarry Před 5 lety +20

      that was the funniest bit of the entire clip. howling!

    • @NEVproductions2012
      @NEVproductions2012 Před 5 lety +2

      I just wanted to be your 500th like =)

    • @rickeyjones5945
      @rickeyjones5945 Před 5 lety +4

      Tariq Khan omg i have never seen thisbskit but damn he had me rolling bob and weeve you already won rub one out like a man its like champagne yo your victory.

    • @kobeanderson6718
      @kobeanderson6718 Před 5 lety +1

      I just started laughing and giggling so much I was crying 😂

  • @evangelostse2477
    @evangelostse2477 Před 2 lety +4

    This is amazingly relevant now that the Depp vs. Heard case is ongoing.

  • @anthonymcgrath
    @anthonymcgrath Před rokem +4

    that cauldron stirring at 10.25 killed me 🤣

  • @ardvark84
    @ardvark84 Před 6 lety +577

    The real comedy is the fact that we laugh more when something real and true is being said. This was as down to Earth true as possible and it was hillarious.

    • @achilles5199
      @achilles5199 Před 5 lety +5

      ardvark84 "tuna casserole! And start swinging"

    • @TonyRule
      @TonyRule Před 5 lety +2

      And that sums up the genius of Bill Burr.

  • @nickm8874
    @nickm8874 Před 5 lety +642

    “Even hockey has 2 minutes for instigating” 😆

    • @jasondyrkacz8270
      @jasondyrkacz8270 Před 5 lety +16

      Bill wasn't lying. That's an actual penalty in hockey.

    • @nickm8874
      @nickm8874 Před 5 lety +11

      Jason Dyrkacz yes I know. It just amuses me greatly as an analogy

  • @aquaholicdrinks5396
    @aquaholicdrinks5396 Před 6 měsíci +4

    Can opener gonna fu*king rust 😂😂😂

  • @AnmarBaitalmal
    @AnmarBaitalmal Před 8 měsíci

    Masterpiece!

  • @NostalgiaMan
    @NostalgiaMan Před 2 lety +13691

    The most important moment of male progress in the last 20 years.

    • @hiwayhighway9925
      @hiwayhighway9925 Před 2 lety +252

      Serious as a heart attack. How to argue saved my sanity and marriage

    • @quentinparhiala9415
      @quentinparhiala9415 Před 2 lety +16

      Your right about that

    • @fabioveloso3469
      @fabioveloso3469 Před 2 lety +5

      I H A T E Y O U

    • @boston_nsca
      @boston_nsca Před 2 lety +48

      @TipsyBrothers only real beta males call other people on the internet who they don't know beta males.

    • @MA-yu2ss
      @MA-yu2ss Před 2 lety +30

      @@boston_nsca ironic of you to say

  • @zoeylolers1080
    @zoeylolers1080 Před 5 lety +3519

    As a woman I can fully agree that there are many reasons to hit a woman

    • @lsurech8559
      @lsurech8559 Před 5 lety +217

      Zoey Lolers as Female myself I agree. Especially those who are emotionally imbalanced, loud, lack of manners and couldn’t respond with reasons but emotions.

    • @lsurech8559
      @lsurech8559 Před 5 lety +90

      Thelondonbadger have some faith and you will encounter a few good ones in life

    • @neptune3569
      @neptune3569 Před 5 lety +12

      No 1. Reason: playing fortnite battle royale

    • @flatperson1306
      @flatperson1306 Před 5 lety +44

      @Daij I found one

    • @McDiculous50
      @McDiculous50 Před 5 lety +9

      @a wild baka good one. She just gave another reason why to want to hit a woman

  • @brianandres6474
    @brianandres6474 Před 3 měsíci +2

    That heckler "answer him right" had me in stitches. @6:00

  • @mike.p.1400
    @mike.p.1400 Před 8 měsíci +5

    I would never do it.
    Except. If she hits me first.
    Especially if she’s a stranger.
    If she hits me. She’s going down.

  • @nickcifarelli8887
    @nickcifarelli8887 Před 5 lety +2444

    Bill Burr Sur, on behalf of all Men the world over, we salute you

  • @srettamevilabeing1323
    @srettamevilabeing1323 Před 3 lety +1361

    Bill: "I just ghosted her"
    Every other Man on the planet: "I gotta tell ya, worked like a charm"

    • @stephaanjacques2269
      @stephaanjacques2269 Před 2 lety +5

      gotta love the 420 likes. Lets hope it lasts

    • @ararune3734
      @ararune3734 Před rokem +1

      In fact, ghosting a woman solves all your life problems, I've tested if a few times myself. I'll take the champagne of victory over needless migraine

  • @bryce6445
    @bryce6445 Před 8 měsíci +1

    if it’s not a mutual decision, you shouldn’t throw hands

  • @kamilomar9134
    @kamilomar9134 Před rokem +5

    Bill Burr is funny ironic, truthful and wilfully self deprecating at the same time - that takes talent.

  • @clonesquad4874
    @clonesquad4874 Před 7 lety +1756

    he's saying what we're thinking

    • @tjrizvi251
      @tjrizvi251 Před 6 lety +15

      Clone Squad I WAS THINKIN IT AND THEN YOU SAID IT

    • @captaf1
      @captaf1 Před 6 lety +6

      Tj Rizvi we’re all connected

    • @213213yoyo
      @213213yoyo Před 6 lety +2

      +Art we are one. We are one. We are one.

    • @codycall6513
      @codycall6513 Před 5 lety

      djjazzyjeff123 now that’s hitting the head on the nail. Makes me want to be a comedian. What better way to vent. Lol

    • @yaboirequis
      @yaboirequis Před 5 lety

      Clone Squad bill burr us secretly a geniuses

  • @kalilstukes2729
    @kalilstukes2729 Před 2 lety +776

    the woman yelling ANSWER HIM was the best way i seen somebody turn awkward crowd input into what i assume was a standing ovation

    • @BenAri18
      @BenAri18 Před 2 lety +28

      i was so confused at that part whyd he roast her like that

    • @roelfkromhout
      @roelfkromhout Před 2 lety +27

      @@BenAri18 Yeah, now that I'm watching it again I think she actually said that in support of Burr.

    • @BenAri18
      @BenAri18 Před 2 lety +34

      @@roelfkromhout yeh same i was like bruh im pretty sure she was w ur bill

    • @georgewashington5746
      @georgewashington5746 Před 2 lety +16

      @@BenAri18 because he was bombing and went after her

    • @fireboltinc5712
      @fireboltinc5712 Před 2 lety +24

      I honestly think she was a plant from Bill. The timing was fucking priceless.

  • @raidernation3908
    @raidernation3908 Před 2 lety +9

    This dude is the best comedian of our time 💯

  • @tomhecht6068
    @tomhecht6068 Před 15 dny +1

    "Just take a knee and run out the clock". Priceless, Grammy worthy advice.

  • @MacBorin
    @MacBorin Před 5 lety +1770

    One important point that is rarely talked about is: Men are quite often victims of domestic violence, too. And women are quite often the abuser.
    In the 2 1/2 years I worked as a paramedic i saw 6 victims of domestic violence.
    2 were women who were abused by men, one of them later died of her horrible injuries.
    2 were a lesbian couple who had kicked the shit out of each other.
    2 were men who were abused by women. One of these men had been draged straight out of a drug rehab facility by his girlfriend, forcefully filled up with vodka until he couldn't defend himself anymore and then repeatedly whiped with a powercord, burned and hit with a pressing iron and stabed in the leg with a screwdriver.
    Guess who got made fun of for beeing pathetic weeklings. Guess who has next to no safehouses and help programs to escape from the violence.
    This is just my personal observation and has no empirical value whatsoever! But I think any program about domestic violence, that concludes "Men shouldn't hit women" isn't addressing the whole problem.

    • @phuck8627
      @phuck8627 Před 5 lety +37

      are you sure that you didn't also see two who were gay men who beat each other?

    • @skepticmonkey6923
      @skepticmonkey6923 Před 5 lety +183

      @@phuck8627 Gay dudes beat each other every night

    • @jelindy5
      @jelindy5 Před 5 lety +17

      @@skepticmonkey6923 hahaha classic

    • @keepitreal1999
      @keepitreal1999 Před 5 lety +18

      So sad. No Matter what gender. Keep YO Hands to yourselves ladies! No matter how badly you feel betrayed! Keep It pushin or fall victim to what they say about US! 😎
      We need to learn how to DEAL! Without D extra DRAMA!!! Life to short People!😉 Be true to YOU! #Dont Hit Unless U Want 2 B Hit BACK!!!

    • @celticlacelte
      @celticlacelte Před 5 lety +53

      Exactly, because gender don't make assholes. You have assholes everywhere in every faces, and it's ridiculous to separate this kind of thing like that.

  • @michaeldalesandros6304
    @michaeldalesandros6304 Před 4 lety +1260

    Bill on stage: "women, how many times have you thought about slapping your man around the head this week?"
    Bill in audience: "EVERYDAAAAAY"

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones Před 2 lety +10

      Thats what i thought too lol

    • @Demonezia
      @Demonezia Před 2 lety +62

      Plot twist, the girl that yelled it was his girlfriend LOL

    • @deerwoodmedia
      @deerwoodmedia Před 2 lety +5

      I always wonder if that person was a plant in the crowd to make the joke.

    • @Erazzzer
      @Erazzzer Před 2 lety +2

      @@deerwoodmedia Yes it is. Because the joke after the yell is always perfectly written for the answer being yelled.

    • @Monkey006
      @Monkey006 Před 2 lety +7

      @@Erazzzer Or, Bill is just an incredibly witty guy? Did you not pick that up from the slathering he gave the "answer him!" woman in the crowd? Lol.

  • @calvin013
    @calvin013 Před 9 dny +1

    Damn.... this STILL stands as one of the best-executed bits. On the line of Eddie Murphy's cookout. Damn... nailed it.

  • @Tiger1016.
    @Tiger1016. Před 8 měsíci +2

    Take a knee and run out the clock! Brilliant line, and I'm going to be dropping hints of this so many times for work crap, the general toxic person out there, teaching my kids how to deal with their problems gracefully, etc.

  • @hahahehehoho8191
    @hahahehehoho8191 Před 5 lety +485

    Rub one out. It's the champagne of victory!
    Brahh.. 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @TheCollekterMoviesMusic
    @TheCollekterMoviesMusic Před 6 lety +274

    “TUNA CASSEROLE!? And just start swingin” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @InklanUtterfield
      @InklanUtterfield Před 5 lety +1

      Bro, wouldn't you?

    • @runewarrior0
      @runewarrior0 Před 5 lety +4

      Fuck no, tuna casserole is good. Better have peas though..

    • @anbuhyuga8299
      @anbuhyuga8299 Před 5 lety

      you clearly haven't had a good tuna casserole my dude

  • @RG-zp2qw
    @RG-zp2qw Před rokem +8

    Bill is so right about the way women argue.

  • @mase365
    @mase365 Před 8 měsíci +1

    tHANKS FOR YOUR WISDOM Geralt

  • @jpperez007
    @jpperez007 Před 2 lety +587

    “Take a knee and run out the clock.”
    Best line ever. 🤣

    • @cerebrophage7709
      @cerebrophage7709 Před 2 lety +5

      I was thinking of shit she'd throw at me.
      "You got a small dick...!"
      "Satisfied you."
      "I was acting."
      "You're a horrible actress, I know when you're crying and not. I know when you feign ecstasy."
      "You're an ugly asshole."
      "To which you got your jollies."
      "You're just like your father."
      "About to divorce a dumb bitch? Probably."
      "You don't care about anything."
      "Clearly."

    • @rodrogers9158
      @rodrogers9158 Před 2 lety

      Lol...felt that one too

    • @realdaakuu1843
      @realdaakuu1843 Před 2 lety

      What does it mean

    • @Shenkenstein
      @Shenkenstein Před 2 lety +7

      @@realdaakuu1843 It's a reference to a strategy in American football. Taking a knee ends the current down but keeps the clock running.

    • @realdaakuu1843
      @realdaakuu1843 Před 2 lety

      @@Shenkenstein oh thx

  • @rightcoast7049
    @rightcoast7049 Před 4 lety +426

    "Even hockey has 2 minutes for instigating" LMAO

    • @jasondyrkacz8270
      @jasondyrkacz8270 Před 4 lety +8

      It's true though. Hockey does have a penalty for instigating.

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones Před 2 lety +4

      There is an oooold hockey game for MS-DOS (probably other ports as well) called Faceoff that has a 30 sec penalty for "losing the fight". Still cracks me up.

    • @stephenmiller2337
      @stephenmiller2337 Před 2 lety

      @@oz_jones haha, I used to play that on my old Nintendo. Couple of times it would end up in a real fight between my stepbrother and I.

    • @chrisrhorer8524
      @chrisrhorer8524 Před 2 lety

      I think the game was Mario lemieux hockey or blades of steel where whoever lost a fight was penalized 2 min and the winning team had a power play lol. I thought that was great. Great incentive to win a fight other than the obvious.

  • @SuperTambo69
    @SuperTambo69 Před 7 měsíci

    This is awesome!

  • @TheStephy1973
    @TheStephy1973 Před 7 měsíci

    😂😂😂😂😂 he is the best❤❤❤