Will God Let Me Divorce a Narcissistic Spouse?
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- čas přidán 14. 03. 2024
- Being married to a narcissist can leave you feeling like you only have two choices: resign yourself to a life of misery or pack your bags and leave
but before you make a decision that will change your life, forever....Let's talk about 3 crucial categories to consider when contemplating a divorce from a narcissistic spouse.
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Psalm 139 1-16 awesome.
Hebrews 4 13And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.
James 1 5If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Song of Solomon 2 10-14 10My beloved spoke, and said to me:
“Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away.
11For lo, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
12The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtledove
Is heard in our land.
13The fig tree puts forth her green figs,
And the vines with the tender grapes
Give a good smell.
Rise up, my love, my fair one,
And come away!
14“O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
In the secret places of the cliff,
Let me see your face,
Let me hear your voice;
For your voice is sweet,
And your face is lovely.”
Matthew 24 32,33
I'd like to recommend a book for you: Invisible: When Fear and Shame Cause You to HIde.
Do you offer personal counseling?
I was married for 17 years to an abusive narcissist & there was no intimacy on any level. Just control through emotional, physical, mental & financial abuse. We cohabited until I finally filed for divorce. Then, the church people all blamed me & looked down at me & I left that church. He put on excellent display for the public eye. We had children so I waited for 17 years. I had planned it all out for years. Never regretted leaving. I’ve had peace from God. Very difficult decision. But, my marriage was a farce & a lie.
I am so proud of you!!! That was the right thing to do !! Bravo !!
You sound exactly like like me. A lot of people in the church didn’t understand. I waited til my youngest was 18 years old. The abuse was horrible. I prayed and Prayed, God told me to leave! The church world said God would never tell me that!
@@marlenehellmann8223 My heart goes out to you. Although, I know once you left you never looked back, I didn’t!!
Unbelievable that the church members told you both that ! It is horrible. God never want us to stay with someone and to be unhappy. Those people are fanatic they have no idea who God is and make you suffer by their words. I am glad you are happy now !
Same here...planning my way out now. Will leave him in about two years. After accumulating enough money
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalized
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
Betrayal is not just about infidelity. Repetitive lying is also betrayal.
Repetitive lying is the person need help which maybe spiritual. We as human constantly judge persons by their physical action but we much get to the source of their actions through prayer to the Lord and you maybe surprise. It can be generational sins and that person need deliverance. 😊
For sure!! Especially one who lives a double life!!
@@ericmckenzie6994 Exactly. I have been praying for my lying husband and binding the evil powers, and God showed me the source of his lies, and exposed all this, and gave me the will and ability to understand and forgive. He gave me my husband, so I took it to God, and He helped. Time will show if things have changed for good. God is good. Lies may result from the insecurities and narcissist cycles, even with a good person that still needs healing or deliverance.
Narcissist will never admit they need help
Forgiveness does not mean enabling. God tells us to get away from toxic people and forgive them from afar.
AMEN!!!
You are 100% correct. Forgiveness is NOT reconciliation either. And getting away from toxic people is a must if you're to ever heal. A book called Invisible: When Fear and Shame Cause You to Hide explains exactly why that's critical
It's not your job to forgive when there is no sorrow, no repentance. It's your job to learn and grow
I agree
God tells us this where pls?
I was with my narcissistic husband for 30 years. If I didn’t divorce I would not be alive today. Thank You JESUS for Your deliverance.
Why 30 years?
My ex narcissist cheated, had orgies, called me delusional etc. He was verbally abusive. I prayed, fasted for a year and God released me from the marriage.
Godbless you JESUS is so good pleased you got freedom 🙏
Will God let you divorce a Narcissistic spouse? Yes. He does not like divorce, but He LOVES YOU more than he hates divorce.
THANK YOU. Needed to hear this.
This is a subject that I think the church really neglects. Abuse in any form is a covenant breaker. For thirteen years I put up with too much, And I was told by my church that God hates divorce, but he also hates abuse. I gave God the chance to fix my marriage, and I was discarded by my narcissist wife. Scripture says If an unbeliever wants to leave let them leave for your call to live in peace. I probably should have acted sooner to leave the marriage.But I didn't have the confirmation that I could from council. But I can honestly say that I'm a better person because God made me a better person. Thank you for your insight on this matter, Because many counselors and pastors would but touch this subject. Yes God hates divorce, but he also hates abuse
When the author of Invisible: When Fear and Shame Cause You to Hide submitted the manuscript to the publisher. They accepted it saying: "The Church needs to see this." The church does neglect abuse and some pastors often enable and defend the abuser.
Finally after 18 years of his adultery. I divorced the narcissist. I felt guilty and struggled but once he started bringing women to our home and our marriage bed I could no longer deal with the deliberate disrespect. Narcissists will continue in their infidelity and exploiting your kindness. I’m so happy now that God has healed me. I know it was the right thing to do. Praying for those who feel stuck. You do not have to tolerate infidelity from your spouse. Leave these demonic toxic relationships and don’t look back!
As a family law attorney and advocate for divorcing people and a Christian, I appreciated your video. Abandonment includes emotional abandonment, which can be considered abuse. If any pastor or priest condemns you for leaving a toxic, abusive spouse, they are giving you advice contrary to scripture. I wish more people knew this. This would save many lives.
This! I don’t believe God desires for his children to live in misery in a marriage that doesn’t honor Him.
I believe in Corinthians Paul is clearly speaking of abandonment as a situation where your partner physically leaves and refuses to live with you. Emotional abandonment is a vague term and can mean nearly anything. I went through a severe illness for some months and was severely depressed and not adequately attentive to my ex’s needs. Somehow that situation became grounds for a divorce in what was a previously happy marriage with two young children.
@@ItsNomadScientist clearly what you went through is not what is meant by emotional abandonment. Being inattentive due to illness is not what I’m talking about. Being married to an emotionally absent spouse (married but having no emotional support, as in the spouse is physically present but that’s all there is) is in fact sufficient for a spouse to walk away. Here’s the truth: it is not God’s desire to be married and miserable. When your spouse is only physically present in the relationship, that is not a true marriage. That’s not God’s design for marriage. Physical presence is enough to sustain a relationship.
*isn’t enough to sustain a marriage.
@@GracefulStrengthCoaching Thank you for your response. I agree physical presence isn’t sufficient for a good, happy, healthy marriage. But if we examine scripture, I believe the teachings on marriage and divorce are clear, and I don’t think we see support for the idea we can leave a marriage because we aren’t receiving adequate emotional support. See 1st Corinthians 7:10-11 for a specific example.
I sympathize with people in emotionless marriages and I believe they ought to do everything they can to fix that. But when we rely on our feelings over scripture, I think that is a bad precedent, and ultimately will only increase our sorrow and suffering in this world.
Did God let you marry him in the first place ?
Because not all marriages are okayed by God although he blesses all his children .
Facts
Yes. My mother stepped outside of God's will and married my father. God gave her innumerable times to leave, but she stayed until it got extremely extremely bad. My dad had an affair their 1st night home as a married couple.
No I didn't listen to God I take accountability this marriage wasn't from God at all I repented
@@shirlspark_stardust the good news is that our God is a forgiving God
God's commandment, Christians are to yolk with other Christians... AKA...Marry only Christians. 🙏🏻✝️
I left and divorced. My ex was manipulating, cheating, using, and I am praising God for the peace and freedom.
God knew I would have never left. I didn't know what a narcissist was because the therapists for 25 years said it was me, fed me 20,000 POISON PILLS, and years of therapy where they ignored TRAUMA......giving my narc the ammo to blame me because "they said its you!" BUT HEY, IT WAS ONLY 43 YEARS!
So God literally raptured me out of bed 3 years ago and saved me. I had 17 physical issues including malnutrition that was killing me! The onset of 2 eating disorders, autoimmune disease, many things.
I did NOT know I was being abused because they sad it was me....bipolar! Took every pill, showed up for every session that he would never attend to help or learn how to help me!
He cheated on me with my BFFs and probably others, drug abuse, financial catastrophe, controlling me by stonewalling, and gaslighting! I have endured flying monkeys and victim blaming. I've lost everyone because they chose him.
So 3 years ago, I was ready to start the circular argument again! My husband was even angry that i was seeking God for help. God literally picked me up and said "ENOUGH!" I threw him out the next day!
Today, God has given me peace and contentment. I'm still in my wilderness healing mind, body, and soul. It's me, Jesus, and my kitten in my RV! It is the best! I'm so grateful to God for rescuing me because I would have died had HE not told my to leave! I thought I was supposed to stay for God......He said,"ENOUGH!" AND now my life is His! It's faith and obedience!!! Oh, how I love God!
Thank you for your channel. You have helped me learn! I appreciate you!👑🙏💜
Congratulations! I can relate! U glow girl!!😊❤
The Lord Jesus is all we need Sister ✝️👑🥰💖
@@ohsocoolmitali I've been in counseling for over a year with an awesome Christian counselor. My criteria was....you must believe I should live my life for Jesus because He rescued me from this! I will not take 1 poison pill because I'm not bipolar! Narcissistic Abuse can not and is not my fault! I've made great progress! Thank you for your kindness! Be blessed!👑🙏💜
@@ohsocoolmitali well, if you mean counceling with my narcissist....I tried that! When he realized I was really done, because he never participated in any of my therapy that fed me the poison and bad therapy......he made flying monkeys of the "church counceling team" so it was 5 against 1!
Was that your point?
am a guy.. I have a wife that fits this bill. interesting. I always thought it was demonic oppression of all sorts.
I read this quote in a book I used to own on divorce from a pastor's perspective: " God cares more about the 2 individuals in the marriage than he cares about the marriage itself." The explanation went on to say that the abuser needs God's intervention to see their sin and repent and be made whole and the victim of abuse needs safety, healing and comfort from God to be made whole. The husband and the wife are both in need of God's touch, but if one of them is not able to let God in, Satan wins. That was the story of my "Christian marriage".
And then…? So they’re both condemned to hell because one spouse won’t receive God?
@@ashleynicole9423 who said getting a divorce condemns you to hell?
Thank you Kris, your understanding of God, the scriptures and reality, gives you this Biblical approach to divorce. Many churches are dogmatic on divorce, putting people in bondage and making their abused life of no effect. God is love, anything outside of love, is not of God. The scriptures state: "Turn away from evil and do what is good; seek peace and pursue it" Psalm 34:14 🙏🙏♥
Truth about the enemy attempting to put people in bondage & making their abused life of no effect.
You speak the truth. My father is an evil narcissist who abused my kind and devoted mother and us for decades. My mother hanged on until her dementia kicked in. I dont know whether she should have left, but it is truly cringe worthy to see people lightly throwing the word "abuse" around when they are the entitled ones. It takes an abused to identify abuse of the term abuse.
THANK YOU JESUS FOR RELEASING ME FROM UNHOLY SOUL TIES!!!!❤❤❤❤
Amen, amen!
Amen
Halajuah AMEN ❤🎉❤
Thank you for addressing the people out there who are abusing the word abuse. I am one of the ones who is being falsely accused of abuse. It’s a challenging situation, and many friends and family members have turned against me without asking me any questions. I have let it hurt me, I have retaliated in anger. But, I am beginning to understand that if God is all I have, then I have all I need. I can’t expect things from other people to benefit me. We are all fallen human beings. I cannot hold any grudges or resent anyone. I simply choose my response, now as I am responding to God alone. I can treat my surroundings as though it is a simulation and a test from God. Not taking anything personally. When people treat me badly, or say harsh things about me, or make assumptions, or reject me - I simply regarded as a test, and renew my strength in the Lord. I choose to respond with kindness and love. Not every situation, because God does call us to rebuke certain things. But overall, I would say if you let an abuser get you all broken up, then you play into the enemy’s hand. Don’t allow it. Just respond as God directs you to respond. Then, take no offense. Then live in spiritual peace, and according to God‘s will.
My narc husband abandoned the marriage. I took it as God telling me it's time to get out. In the beginning stages of divorce now.
Best of luck to you. You deserve to be happy and the narc's abandonment was a gift.
"Search me oh God, and know my heart..." ❤
I listened to this...after stopping it a few times, for validation. I left a really abusive marriage after 11 years, we had 2 children, there was physical abuse, infidelity on his part, gas lighting, and honestly I believe he is more than narcissistic, he's psychotic, as he tried to kill me when inwas pregnant with our youngest son.
I thought wveryrhing was up to me, but I was so young. As I grew up, I grew wiser and closer to God. I did none of these things you described. If only I had this to listen to 25 years ago. I could have gotten real help, but everything worked out as I moved on with my life.
❤ Thank you Kris! This is something I needed to hear from my church when I was still married. My narcissistic spouse cheated on me, lied to me, talked badly about me behind my back, verbally emotionally and financially abused me. I went to several different people in the church and was told to stay, to forgive, go home and pray for him. it’s time churches open their eyes and stop condoning abuse because I can tell you no amount of praying will change someone that does not want to change.
So many of the stories in the Bible reflect narcissistic abuse. Jacob and Laban, Jezebel, many of the Kings. The fact is that the abusers who didn't love and honor God, their life didn't end well for them. Demons are controlling the narcs mind and as in 1 Peter 5:8 devouring their peace and lives. I'm single, but do hope to be married someday and one must is that she genuinely loves Jesus, because if we both love Jesus I believe we can make it and make it well. Blessings Mrs Reece!
Narcissist are reprobates
Mine started a smear campaign with several women he had emotional affairs with and met with them every day. We've gone to many Christian Marriage Counselors which state that he groomed them. He coerced me to sign a premarital Prenup about to expire. Since I won't sign any more papers, he went to another lawyer to pass our Marital Estate to his kids. The Cortisol level went up to 333 and I lost 50 lbs. He caused me a Broken Heart Syndrome Heartattack with 196/126 blood pressure and ALL my left side went numb. Surgery was done to put a wire mesh into my heart to check what was wrong. He filed for divorce saying that I am the controlling one (since I won't sign any legal paperwork without a lawyer). I feel like he has broken the Marriage Covenant. I feel so ashamed with this breaking of the Marriage Covenant.
HE broke the marriage covenant, NOT YOU.
He broke the marriage covenant, but not you. Narcissistic abuse has ruined your health but he broke the marriage contract🤔.
I watched my mother have a heart attack 2 strokes mental abuse but she stay for the marital covenant. She's dead now! You are correct on one thing, she's dead from broken hearted syndrome! yes.
❤🩹
My mother was treated like you and she died of pancreatic cancer at 58. But she stayed married😢
@@ladyofthecreek279 How?
I so appreciate this. I haven't told anyone at all about my struggles, not even my closest friend. Somehow I'm scared to put it into words. In November I finally gave up all hope for my marriage, and since then I've been struggling to pray. Thank you Kris for your sound biblical perspectives and guidance.
Thank you! I no longer feel any shame. I know it was Justified Divorce, per God. ❤🙏
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment. I can tell your very positive person, if it's . Okay with you l'd love to be friends❤
Thank you for this video I have been thinking about divorce and I've just been praying and seeking for answers. Thank you.
Thank you for articulating everything so clearly. I’ve been told so many times to stay in this abusive marriage. That it’s better to be together And it’s no grounds for separation.
Thank you for your courage and kindness to talk about this very complicated subject. Those who have never experienced narcissistic abuse don't even know these kinds of people exist. And when these narcissists go to church, are charismatic and giving to the public, it's even harder for people to comprehend. I was fortunate to have a counsellor who had the same experience I did, so that he could speak honestly and frankly about my wife's condition and the fact that it likely is a lost cause. It's just heartbreaking that our friends can add insult to injury over these situations. Thank you for your kindness and understanding Kris. God bless you!
I prayed some years ago, for God to let me catch my narcissistic husband in an affair, so I could leave "in His good graces"...I was a believer, but not a seeker in His Word/word. Well, He said "no"..., to which I replied "that's not nice. You know how dysfunctional this is and wrong...". I then heard "he isn't right, but he doesn't deserve the anger from your whole life either..." 🤐
I began to seek Him through His word and trust Him, one area at a time. Received deliverance from 4 oppressive spirits and dove in the deep end like never before. This is about eternity and it may have taken a while, but I'm so grateful now that I obeyed and continue to seek and obey. It's not as "good" as it could be, but it's nowhere as bad as it used to be. The gaslighting and verbal putting down is near minimal where it was daily before. Doing it His way works best every time and I'm definitely a better person for it. With God I was strong enough to become the strong woman of God He designed me to be! ❤❤❤
Praying for all us ladies!!
Kris, your content is SO good and so biblically sound. Thank you.
I was wondering if you could do a video on how narcissism manifests in women and/or addressing the deficit in resources for men who are in these kinds of relationships. It seems like it’s a default in the Christian and counseling space that the man is always at fault and responsible
I have been married for nearly 25 years to a narcissistic man who has never consummated our marriage and there has never been any intimacy, companionship, or resolve of anything. Just control through silence, gaslighting, and denial of any of my emotional needs. We cohabitate, as roommates with no respect.
I am still here because I made a commitment to and before God to stay where he put me. But, I have been less than cordial in my fulfillment of the commitment.
Thank you for this video, I needed to hear your wisdom.
Leave! You’re in a one sided commitment
You really need to leave.
With no physical abuse & adequate financial security, maybe stay? It could be ur life ministry 🤷🏼♀️
U certainly sound calm & know ur worth! U may be a warrior! U have been a warrior till now, surely-with the Lords grace ofc.
It will just get worse. I know. I've been there.
You have a piece of paper not a marriage and you are confused. You need to betterment yourself spiritually, financially and leave
AMEN AND AMEN 🙏 I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I KNOW I HAVE WALKING RIGHTS!!❤
Thank you Kris! I have felt God’s nudgings in my experience and you are right. I was miserable when I didn’t follow through, at peace when I did.
Amen on the abuse I was physically and mentally abused for over 10 years and when I tried to get help it was hard.This do to false claims from a lot of people and had to prove and I did get help and got a restraining order finally but please never say false abuse because women like me have really been threw this trauma.
If we start asking God questions BEFORE we get married, we won't have to ask Him if or whether we can get divorced. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20.🧐👀
THANK YOU FOR THIS INFORMATION!! Blessings to you!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you Minister Reece God Bless you ♥️🙏🏾😇
Thank you for this video, I know that I was meant to see it. ❤️🙏
This is the single best video on narcissistic marriage I have ever seen and i have been watching this type of content for 5 years
Thank you soooo much! You’ve been an esencial help in my healing process. God bless you brave woman of God. 👏🏻
Thank you so much for addressing this topic so wisely and sensibly. God bless you.
Excellent video Kris ... I just LOVE you!! Really excellent video .. Thank you!! God bless you and your team ... BTW absolutely beautiful color on you. 🙌🕊️✝️
Thank you 🙏🏻
Yes that lavender is stunning on you
Thank you for the clarification!
I needed this 😢 I’ve been in a narcissist marriage for 20years . I’m thankful for testimonies that are being shared thank you all for giving me hope 🙏🏽😞
Thank you for this ❤
I loved how you handled this!!!❤
Thank you for clarifying the truth and helping others to understand! God Bless!!
Very sound and reasonable words. Breath of fresh air. I haven't had this situation myself, but I have a friend who has, and I'm going to share this video with them.
Thank you sooo much for your videos. God bless you. 🙏🏻❤️
This was very helpful. Thank you.❤😅
I'm so glad. Thanks for watching
I didn’t even know what a narcissist was, but God showed me. Being with a narcissist is the worst torment I ever experienced in my life. Especially the silent treatment and not to mention he found a different Pastor and manipulated the Pastor to say I was the problem.
Yes he will my ex was Narcissist and a cheater for many years when we where married
AMEN and thank you Kris
My ex-spouse was trying to kill me. He cheated on me with men and women. He abused me in every way possible. Lied to my friend, so I lost her friendship. I met his lover-girlfriend. My marriage was almost 20 years. Now, I need to do the work of forgiveness. I will probably have to do all the "leg work".
Extremely wise, godly advice. Thank you for validating victims and giving sound direction
🪙🪙🎀Absolute Gold🎀🪙🪙🙏Thank you so much Mrs. Reece!!🙏
I've been wondering where the fine line is. I have been putting my faith in Christ and THIS is exactly what I've been lead to believe. Just nice hearing and getting validation. Now just to watch my scenario unfold
Not only did He give permission,He helped me on every leval.Kris what if infidelity means turning their backs on the faith,running to the world?
God Bless🌹
This is it💞 eventually... My key to exit the toxic prison, where i was brainwashed to believe it was all me & my paranoia due to CPTSD. 24years later😢
Thank you for sticking to Biblical teachings.
God bless you for your help.
My question isn't whether it's ok to leave a spouse that is abusive. It's whether that person can remarry.
Jesus said those who divorce and remarry commit adultery. If you are divorced, you are to remain single or reconcile with your spouse.
Yes you can. People use that line to keep people miserable. God wants us in companionship. It wasn’t your fault the person was abusive and broke the marriage covenant. We are in the age of grace. God loves you greatly and will give you your heart desires.🙏🏾
@sanctifiedintruth you left out unless its for fornication who would want to stay with a narcissist I left after he committed adultery several times
@@shirlspark_stardust Unfortunately that scripture has been misinterpreted. "Fornication" or "sexual immorality" in the Greek is "porneia". Jesus was referring to sexually immoral marriages according to Leviticus 18:6-23. You can divorce and remarry if you married someone listed in Leviticus 18 because the marriage is not lawful in God's eyes. John the Baptist told Herod it was not lawful to marry his brother's wife (according to Leviticus 18). Herod should have divorced his brother's wife because it was a sin to be married to her. His marriage was sexually immoral. This is the exception for divorce and remarriage, not when your spouse is unfaithful. If a person needs to leave their spouse who is abusive, they are to remain single or reconcile with their spouse. The scriptures are clear--if you remarry after divorce you are in adultery.
@@bernicefomunung9547 God does not give us grace to live in adultery. Jesus said a lawful marriage covenant cannot be broken. What God has joined together let not man separate. That's why he said a person who is divorced and remarried is in adultery. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:40 a woman is happier, or more blessed if she remains single. Marriage is beautiful but it should not be our source of happiness. This is idolatry. Jesus is all we need. I pray he is enough for you.
Because the 2 years I got to know him the gas lighting the stuff you hat goes on with it. Wow. It might have been going on for years. So grateful for finding your channel.
I have spent 32 years trying so hard through prayer, three different counselors, pastors etc. to get my husband to change to work on his narcissism but he did not now that I have finally had it. I’m sick of being abused alone hurt and abandoned in my marriage I am leaving, all of the sudden he’s become a Christian anybody that has lived with a narcissist of any length of time know that this is a ploy to keep me from leaving that I am just his narcissistic Supply and he doesn’t want to have to find another one now that I have gotten Attorney and our divorce date is soon he’s back to drinking I was not wrong when I chose to start the divorce procedure I am determined to live in peace I’ve had enough
Hello I am so sorry if this sounds weirds but you wrote such a nice and wonderful comment. I can tell your very positive person, if it's . Okay with you l'd love to be friends❤
God bless you. Comfort you.
My ex was verbally abusing me for 26 years. When I realized that he was a narcissist , I prayed for God to deal with him because it got too hard for me. Watching these videos really helped. I stopped taking his bait , and quit giving him his supply then after a few months of this he just came in the house and out of the blue decided to divorce me. The day I dropped him off he filed. I told him to his face that he was a narcissist and I believe that set it in motion. He never loved me . He told me many lies over the years and I’m sure he cheated. Can’t prove it but there were times that he said he can’t tell me where he was over night . He has a security job so he got away with those lies. He needs God’s saving grace . I do pray for him and his salvation.
My divorce broke my heart. I really struggled with it. My husband cheated and got one of his girlfriends pregnant. He and his family threatened me and trash talked me to everyone in the community. My ex also frequently looked at porn. All porn is bad, but his tastes rapidly grew more and more disturbing. He never hit me, but i think it eventually would have come to that point.
The threats and abuse from him and his family escalated after the girlfriend got pregnant. I wasn't able to have children, which has caused me enormous pain especially with what my ex did. However, i am so thankful i didn't have a child with him! We got our divorce in August of that year and he married the pregnant woman in September.
Our church gave me all kinds of grief over it. "We've known him since he was 15. He would NEVER do that." My ex and his family were very active in church. Major hyoocrites.
For the last time, yes! Leave the preditor. Leave. Don't look back. Do yourself!
I understand all you told, God blessed me both ways because he did cheat. God knew what I could handle and it was after I got my divorce I found out about multiple infidelities. Narc videos helped me to know exactly what I was dealing with. All of it was God ordained. I was scared to leave but GOD SAID GO!!! Like it had to be that he told me through a Christian therapist that I was actually in an abusive marriage. The church actually enables abusive husbands and put all the work on the wife. They are abusive themselves and male identified. God will hold them accountable for their handling of my situation. But back to my leaving. I only want Gods will so it had to be HIM to tell me it’s time to go and this helped me from being sucked back in because I knew God said go and got me out. To go back would now be disobedience. I thank God every day for my freedom and what He has been doing in me since. I am back in my full purpose. Walk with God and He will handle it for you and lead you so your conscience would be clear.
Thank you. :)
Thank you, sista!
I am very surprised how you are so knowledgeable about the word of God. I love your humility in explaining with honesty and using the Bible to support the truth. I am in agreement with what you are saying and not only that but it is my belief based on the word of God. God bless you my sister continued to share these important wisdom. ❤❤❤
Im dating a beautiful woman who was 23 years abused and narcissistic relationship with her ex husband when she told all her life I got shocked 😳 and really sad 😞 what she have been through… I give all my my love , comfort, respect heart and I will make her happy and I will treat as princess 👸
Thank you
yes god dont allow anykind of abuse
How do you take the quiz. Or get the free teaching. Unless I'm not understanding correctly. I'm so interested in finding out more. Because. God is finally setting me free more understanding. Is coming through this channel. You are a. God send. God bless you. I hope to find true and lasting love. A godly one man
I've been divorced from my abusive narcissistic for 12 years. I've cut off all contact with his flying monkey's as well. I'm still struggling with trying to get past the 26 years of neglect, financial (money i generated) gas lighting, dismissing, and at times physical abuse. I keep replying these things in my mind. I've prayed that God would set my mind straight. I've prayed for all these people including my ex. When we separated he had a girlfriend within the first month. I can't help but think this was going on while we were still living in the same house. Once he had the new girlfriend the neglect of our daughters was worse than when we were together. I'm very grateful for this video. Thank you.
I am looking for some help in this. Its hard to condense years into a paragraph, but here it goes.
I am in a 19 year marriage. I do not want a divorce, but my wife cant stop talking about it for almost 9 years. Every argument, and trust me, there are some on a daily basis, she brings that up. She does not love me and tells me so every time we argue. There is no intimacy going on almost 2 years. She give me a hard time, being very generous here, about my weight and my finances. My kids see it and hear it. She sees us as roommates at this point. I have tried so many things, but she has said and done so many things that it has affected me personally. She has never hit me, but verbally abusive and demeaning. We are both believers, but she only wants a divorce. We did separate in 2014 due to infidelity. But got back together to see if we can make it work. I dont know if this counts as any valid reasons for divorce since that happened YEARS ago, but I cant see how we can stay married. Please advise.
Thank you Kris. You are absolutely right. I divorced 3 years ago. I was emotionally abuse and abandoned near the end. I was more than time.
God is faithful and He looks after us.
My room mate Victoria got abuse have bruises from Lynn please help Victoria to be abuse free heal her
Oftentimes it’s seems we don’t consider the impact of getting married in sin i.e. bring unsaved. You tend to attract an ungodly spouse and not really honor the marriage covenant in the first place. That can be difficult to endure after giving your life to Christ. And it’s impossible to bring a narcissistic atheist to God. It only destroys you from the inside out. It’s so hard. 😔
10:42 is the title of a book. Really resonated.
Ďakujeme.
What if he decided he didn't want to be in the marriage and ended it?
Mine had gaslighted, lied, stonewalled and manipulated for years i didn't know. I was having counseling working on the issues he said i had. When things first started happening a year before when his behaviour first changed overnight we went to marriage counseling. The counselor suggested a book for us to read. I read it and tried to work through things brought up in it. He got to the first 2 chapters before deciding he didn't agree with some of the things in there. Since then i had anxiety every night. I prayed everyday for healing and restoration then overnight his behaviour changed. The anxiety got worse when he decided to end our marriage the anxiety got worse it was a GP who told me he was gaslighting me and for my mental health i should leave. He was already saying i should be the one to go.
This has been al, very hard for me to understand. Where do i stand biblically? I can't go back into the same behaviour of gaslighting stonewalling and manipulation
@prechagirl
Dear girl. I have been married twice. My second marriage was too covert “christian” narcissist. His personality did not flip until about the 7th year. He covered up his disorder pretty darn well. My divorce should be final within a few months. Was I heartbroken ? Absolutely yes. But my sanity was most important at the end of the craziness.
Your description reads almost exactly like mine. They make us think we are the problem, while they continue to behave horribly. It’s not you. It’s him.
Make a plan, an exit strategy.
Unfortunately, they don’t have the ability to change. It’s inate in their nature, which is really scary.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. God will get you through, just keep asking him for strength and guidance.
Yes, he will
My ex wife committed adultery over one hundred times in one year from her admission. Plus in the other years, nobody knows. She punched me in the face 21 times. She lied to the police to get me arrested, continuously for 13 years. I had two fines. God finally put her in the prison for six weeks for her perjury against me.
My narc after years of abusing me - filed for divorce and he has been dragging it out and making false accusations against me he even went so far to try and have me arrested … it’s almost two years and he continues to attack the kids and myself
I’m sorry to hear.💕
Robert is his name. Please pray that. God will show him his ways.
How about if your marriage was never consummated on purpose, they lie with abandon, there is no empathy , emotion, or physical touch . When the only response to their lying is to tell you to move out?
Then move out. Start saving emergency money in a secret bank account. Talk to someone you trust about what's happening. Just in case things get worse. Then move out.
I always wondered if I am aloud to remarry again after my wife left me for no worthily reason
My first marriage was physically and emotionally abusive, divorced him, hubby 2 knew of all this pain I suffered he made promises he wld nvr treat me that way and that I deserved to b treated like a princess said all the right things, and he wasn't a partyer like my first husband and his family, I prayed for a normal family, he was different, I thot it was what I needed, red flags presented but didn't understand cuz my whole life I got blamed for everything so he convinced me he wld protect me, well once married he changed, he nvr protected me, he lied to me since day one, he gave me Nothing but yrs of lies and betrayal and cheated and constant fights over me wanting to no where my husband was, his sister always knew but not his wife this man acted like he was married to his sister not his wife, extremely creepy, the whole family lies and now they got our son lie n for them, pure Evil, so I don't believe God wants me with someone so toxic, and I'm not perfect but I wld nvr treat someone the way they did me
So sorry. I am in a similar situation. I was lonely and made a foolish choice. Even though we dated for two years, everything was fine. Now it's awful, but the Lord is the One I love and he's my strength and hope.
He sure let me divorce mine prayed for His will and everything. Hallelujah.
You are hitting the nail on the head as to what my issues are. Especially in the plausible. I really like some of the comments here. I hope we can all agree unspoken to pray for one another who read this. I will be praying. You have my prayer for your needs. The best wisdom to seek God first. Christ is God. I know this because He loved me to save me. I can appreciate that, and it’s a mind blower. The more you encounter God. Jesus is the Way…
My Christian male is being physically abused almost on the daily the last thing that happened to him is his wife went to go hit him in his testicles and actually slipped and broke her hand and is in cast this is seriously outrageous I have been a Deliverance worker for the Lord for going on 12 years now and I had suggested that he might want to consider getting separated she's a narcissist has major major spirits I was having lunch with him at his workplace and she phoned him and I saw this man shake my eyes filled with tears I could not believe what I saw in him when she text him I had to clearly and lovingly remind him again and again that he is the head of the house and that father God says in the Bible that there will be a curse put on her for a variety pertaining to this abusive marriage. It breaks my heart to see him living in fear God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power love and I see marks on him this is crazy this is really nuts
Ok, i was about to ask what is the definition of abuse, glad I kept listening. My ex wife claimed "abuse" against me when there was none. she's a covert Narc, so any push back against her was abuse, anytime i held her to her own standard, abuse. the judge certainly didn't believe her for sure yet she now has a job helping another abuse victims. Such a champion for the downtrodden that one is. (eyeroll)
I feel ya, buddy. Same story here. Luckily, my gut wouldn't let me propose to her so she discarded me before I made that mistake. But she would always tell me how horrible I was to her and that I was abusive. I NEVER laid a finger on her she didn't want, never yelled, never gaslighted, never called even called her disparaging names. It was so confusing until she finally left and I found out about covert/vulnerable narcissists. Didn't even know that was a thing. I literally Googled "women who can't admit when they're wrong". The Eureka moment was incredible. Everything started to make sense. Covert narcissistic women are truly wicked. And she was the holier than thou Christian type. I'm also a Christian but I'm aware of and willing to admit my sins. She used my openness and honesty against me. Really reminds me of the Pharisees. The guy she jumped right into bed with weeks later who would purposely park right in front of my apartment so I'd get to basically witness when they were having sex married her. They deserve each other. Have a nice life, pal lol. But, yeah man, you're not alone.
My wife is the same. Though no known adultery. But married in name only, can never admit when wrong, extremely vengeful, and will hold all my sins in detail without fault. After 15 years of marriage I started looking up why it was always hard for basic conversations and retelling past events which always became strangely different from her point of view, covert narcissism seemed like the most appropriate name. I started looking into it and saw my own codependency. A groomed people pleaser taking care of family members who raised me but were out of control. My Mother and Wife are twins. The thing now has been to work on me in Jesus Name.
Most people think of men as narcissists but when women are, it’s like being in the twilight zone ( Angel at church and with family/friends, devil at home ranting and holding grudges).
@@cnc41LORD Damn dude, "Twilight Zone". I literally used that to describe what it felt like when she broke up with me and started doing midnight bible studies in the dark every night with the new guy. It felt like I was in an alternate universe.
Yep, I get it too. Something broke in them so that now, they run from reality. Even as a Christian we’re commanded to love and forgive, but narcissists twist things first in their own minds to justify mistreating others (to earn their love). This video was very helpful in that with God there is help to heal and understand. God bless you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
@@cnc41LORD Exactly. Thanks, you too!
He had to broken marriages. He told me they both cheated on him. But since I started seeing him but now I have no contact. I wonder if it wasn't him that was at fault. Wow.
When I think of setting boundaries that are going to be met with disapproval, I struggle to believe God will approve. I feel like I'm being selfish. How can I know whether I should go ahead and follow through when it just seems so wrong to disappoint someone?
I decided to go. It was hard.
My husband is a covert narcissist. After 25 years of his emotional neglect, gaslighting, dismissive behavior etc, I’m finally just spent. He is married in title only. He will not lead, parent, participate in any conversation, puts it all on me and acts like all is well. I’ve been in therapy for over a year to address these things and my codependency. No matter what I try to address with him or try to involve him with our kids, he will not engage. He’s a fake it until you make it person. What can I do? How can I live like this? All he wants from me is a maid and for s*x. No other connection or concern. Got mad when I had to call 911 when I nearly died from Covid…his responses are not natural at all. 😢
Thank you it’s been a struggle for me and my faith, Jesus said only in cases of adultery. 😢 I wasn’t even n adultery but believe he was. I was discarded, abused emotionally and financially I have cried many a tear over me being in sin for merely wanting to finalize the divorce being told that I would be living in sin if I ever found someone to love 😢
It seems to me that the group that would agree with you on appropriate grounds for divorce is much larger than the group that believe you can get remarried, and many of those in the first group would then jump off the remarriage band wagon. To me it seems like it's the real sticking point with more people.
To your point, I believe each situation needs wisdom from God, certainly from the Bible asbolutely, but also imparted from God for each situation. There so many responses that could happen just from infidelity alone on how it could or should be handled. How do you know what to do without wisdom from the Lord.
Yes to absolute basic Biblical commandments. And yes to wisdom for the many gray areas that we grapple with each day from all that society and sin has thrown at the family. Great video.