Will God Let Me Separate From a Toxic Spouse?
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- čas přidán 27. 05. 2024
- What do you do when you have no biblical grounds for divorce but you can't take another minute in a toxic marriage? In today's video, we answer the question, will God let me separate from a toxic spouse?
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I left. Never looked back. If the husband does not obey the Word you can leave. Love his wife as Christ loved the church.
My husband refused over and over again to take counselling. Keeps deflecting and blaming me for everything gone wrong wrong. It's definitely taking a toll on the family, I'm praying for God to deliver myself and daughters.
Oh this is good. My husband is addicted to porn and a Narcissist. I have felt like I was losing my mind. It has been a tough 9 years.
if you separate it wont take long for him to commit THE SIN; then u can divorce them.
Run.
If you’ve been praying for him and he still hasn’t change I would run !
You've got grounds to leave. Between the narcissism and porn, he's probably already cheated.
My ex husband was abusive and refused to acknowledge his actions were harmful to me. I consulted several pastors, went to counseling on my own but my ex insisted I was the problem. I took all of the steps to ensure that I did everything in my power to hold onto the marriage. He cutoff all contact with me for over a year and so we ended up divorced. I am still dealing with the aftermath while he quickly moved on to a new woman.
Usually toxic and biblical grounds go hand in hand, so yes. If they will not go to counseling with you. If your spouse is a psychopath get out, get healing for your soul. Yes!
But if you just don't love them because they are not doing as you want. No! You are the abuser. We don't control others we can only control ourselves.
The level of abuse that one endures because we believe praying to God will get things sorted led me to be a nervewreck, needing therapy and consider if it was worth living since i can't get out.
I believe that many of us would not have to suffer as much if teaching and counceling before and during marriage was ss strong as "divorve is not permitted". Abusive partners often take advantage of the fact that as a Christian you cannot leave them.
A spouse that can't be counceled, don't want to be counceled has to be endured? I think marriage deserves a serious look within the body of Christ. In the meantime children learn from the ordeal either to abuse or be abused or not to marry.
I believe only the truth and peace between you and God can truly set you free.
Thank you this is what I wanted to say in my own comment
But how is it permitted
Yea. Been there and did all that. He promised the sun and moon and counseling. Once I allowed him back home after he left all those promises went out the window and his arrogance and sneakiness and passive aggressive behavior came back with a vengeance along with his admittance they he really didn’t want the marriage any longer but wouldn’t pay for a divorce.
Thank God Kris for your godly teachings always. I have learnt and grown spiritually this past year. Have been praying for my marriage and also recently if I should separate as well and i think this video is an answer to my prayer, always to have the right and loving perspective. Thank you so much! God bless you ❤️🙏🏼
Separation is not to get revenge and make ones life hell. There is nothing but frustration and Gods justice pursuing such a person!
Being unequally yoked should give anyone that's having problems in their marriage to be able to divorce because one reason is that the significant other could be sabotaging God's purpose and plan for your life.
Especially if they are dipping their hands in divination
I do think that God can use our difficult situations to mold us and refine us as stated in the video however, when the spouse refuses any type of help , is verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive and accepts no responsibility for any problems in the relationship and the relationship is destroying the people in it I feel that God would want a separation as opposed to continuing in the destructive relationship.
Some people who continue staying in destructive relationships don’t make it out to tell their story.
I know about a man who first broke his girlfriend’s arm and she went back and the next time he brutally murdered her.
She left behind two little girls.
He also has a daughter who is struggling to deal with the horrible things that have happened in their lives.
My advice to anyone who is in any type of toxic or abusive relationship is to get yourself and your children to safety as soon as possible.
Divorce and separation are not the ideal but, God loves you whether you are married, divorced or single.
He will help you to freedom.
Thank You for the clarity, you are a blessing to humanity
Thanks for watching!
@@Kris_Reece I watch regularly but I don't comment. Keep doing what you're called to do for the body of Christ
Thank you for all insight
This is such a complex topic which you’ve covered with wisdom and as much clarity as possible. “Learn how to have grace in another’s weaknesses” was a lesson I wish I had learned in my first marriage. I do find the words ‘abuse’ and ‘toxic’ and ‘narcissist’ thrown out so much lately that it concerns me. I really appreciate your direction that separation should be to restore the marriage and not the next step towards divorce. I didn’t see it that way and that was wrong. Finally, your point about accountability is really important. Finding a solid Christian who has the confidence and compassion to ask tough questions. Thank you for a really great video.
Great information, Kris! Thank you so much ❤
Thank You Kris for talking about what is really importante un such a wise way. God Bless you
You’re so insightful. Thank you for this helpful video!
Thanks for your videos!
Hoovering and love bombing...RED FLAGS.
What if you pick up all the signals of a cheating spouse, and nothing ever makes sense. What if the person does sleep around? Don't sexual activity attract demons? How do you safeguard yourself? Stay married because you don't have 100% proof? Maybe get exposed to demons. I'm clueless.
Adultery is biblical grounds for divorce. Jesus says this Matthew 5:31-32
It also invites disease! And unwanted pregnancies.
I just separated from my spouse. I have 2 babies and I have struggled with really not seeing my family. He doesn’t want our kids around them because the beginning of our relationship my family saw something that wasn’t right and my other 2 teenagers didn’t want me with him. My family has called cps and other things to get me to wake up. As the marriage has gone on overtime. I was noticing some behaviors and I started to see my family was pretty much right about some things. I’ve seen some manipulation and control. He threatened me one time in December. I separated then but came back too soon. Since I’ve been separated I’ve had the freedom to see my family without anxiety. I want to do counseling but my family wants me completely out. He really doesn’t want to do counseling. But I think he might do it. But I believe he needs the individual first but I doubt he will do that. I’m already doing some individual counseling myself. Just need prayers on this matter. Really struggling
All the above
Yeah, a covert narc doesn't have empathy and no desire to attend therapy. There is nothing wrong with them, it is all you. Sorry, but my covert narc wife is a lost cause. I grieve for the little girl that was destroyed due to trauma/abuse, but I have to move on and divorce. Her porn addiction and proclivities are such that they violate my values and beliefs. God can take care of her from now on.
Hes abuseive emotionally close to physical. Told me to get the f,____ out. The Lord knows the abuse is real.
He does not want me. The closer I got to God . The further away we got because he had no God or effort for Gog ,church or me. His life turned very selfish now he back on alcohol and pills so I don't know what to do
I think for you should get out of this relationship
@@yuriyamazaki9094 bad advice as a Christian. She should learn effective boundaries to help with the issues at hand
@@donh1572 well if he's becoming abusive she better gets out before it becomes worse
@@yuriyamazaki9094 while emotional abuse should never be tolerated in a mariage and strict boundaries should be implemented , it’s still not grounds for divorce.
So if my husband is a narcissist and I am emotionally and mentally abused with back and forth of name calling and manipulation to I love you and love bombing and infidelity and we end up divorced I have to be single forever and I never get to experience love from a husband again
wondering the same
DH wants separation in the house - ie separate bedroom is ok, but preferably with some cuddles every now and again. I suggested actual separation in order to reconcile, but have budged. Is it even doable to separate under one roof?
No
Toxic, alcoholic environment is grounds for seperation. Alcoholism is idolatry that leads to sin. Separation should be space for restoration but both husband and wife have to be willing to repent, change and then come back whole into the marriage.
kris reece I want to ask what if I don't want to go back to my marriage and want to move on in my life.
I will never go back to my narcissist husband ever. I don't trust him ir even like him anymore. His a fake and rubbish and will never change. I will get a divorce because God knows what I had to endure.
I have been feeling this way today too...I will never trust him. I don't trust in his character, this separation showed his true colors. I don't like him and he is a user and exploiter. I go from feeling angry to guilty, thinking twice than remembering the facts. He married me pretending to be someone he wasn't and thought I would never leave bc I was a believer.
@@tracyannaleclair9320 similar situation and feelings here too
@@tracyannaleclair9320
My situation is very similar. Keep us updated. Are there children involved? Mine are 18 in a couple years. Will the Lord let me leave? I have two years to learn a skill and get a job and have somewhat of a potential to scrape by. Lord willing.
What about watching porn? Hiding finances?
Porn is cheating. See Mathew 5:28.
Hiding finances is basically lying.
Definitely grounds for separation.
He has given into the lie that he cannot be satisfied within his marriage, in turning to porn he is breaking his vows of faithfulness to you.
So if my husband is abusive and toxic I can divorce him but I have to stay single for the rest of my life ? 🤔
He already had a baby with another woman
They never admit the truth. And they won't. Stay or go. Even if you forgive, which seems to be the answer. What about possible demon exposure. You don't know how many others there was, is. Or if your senses are wrong or not. But nothing ever makes sense.
Not true, boundaries helped me grow into a better person
Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But i tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Grounds for divorce!
....That is to convict the law-following Jewish Holy men. Everyone who believed they were following the law perfectly, and thus, were perfect and didn't need forgiveness.
Biblically its more if the partner cheats committing adultery not just looking at someone. That is more about correcting ones behavior to shutdown lustful eyes.
“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.””
- Matthew 19:9
Repeatedly its mentioned in matthew, mark and luke etc. but when its toxic emotional abuse and person refuses change and to get counseling its to that point that one must walk away. Thats why being unequally yoked with unbelievers is important when marrying or relationships. People will always have lust issues so its a daily dying to the flesh but addiction to porn needs to be dealt with becuz it can cause a rabbithole of sin to committing adultery in a marriage which is def grounds for divorce. Like she said there need to be boundaries, separation, repentance, and counseling for change otherwise its a cycle and abuse and partners need to take their part in how they treat another partner because in our hurt we can become abusive too. I know i was in my relationship and i regret trying to change someone when i should have been changing me. That made a huge difference of needing to walk away so this person could actually want to change.
What if the believer is toxic you always assume a believer will be non toxic
Why is always all i hear that the woman is the victim. My wife of ten years has verbally abused me and abused me by negligence. We were un equally yoked. I pray for God to fix me. She promised to go to counseling. We went to 3 different counselors and when she was told she had issues from past abuse from her kids dads. Now that i am an associate pastor she has threatened me again with divorce because i put my foot down with my stepdaughter’s boyfriend for drug dealing around my mentally disabled sister. My wife always defends her kids. We have 8 kids. 6 from her 2 from me. She says she is jealous of my sons cause they are good kids and her kids are bad. I defend her kids on that. By telling her if she wants her kids to change then she has to change. But she says she dont want to. I believe she is bipolar and a narcissist. I am codependent and realized it during our second counselor. Sorry if this message is all over. Just have a lot to say. Her oldest 3 are hooked on drugs and do it while having newborns and toddlers. I am trying to help them. When they were little they told me i was the best dad they ever had. I asked them why they didn’t think i was strict or men for correcting them etc. they said it showed them i cared. Now that they are teens and in there 20s they hate me.i have had two heart attacks which she says i faked but have stint to prove it. I haven’t left yet although she has threatened divorce many times. Arguments all over her kids and me not allowing drugs or alcohol in our home. I haven’t left because i am a Christian and dont want to sin. And i love her and her kids and now my new grandkids. But she said she’s filing since i cant
I am dying inside but trying to be strong and not beg her anymore
I think for me this is a ground for divorce, you should leave her for good
You don't want to sin? She has sinned! And yes, women abuse. No one said they don't.
My husband is a covert, gaslighting, manipulative narcissist. I am his PRISONER, not his WIFE. He controls even the money. He gives me $200 a month for an ALLOWANCE, while he gets to spend money on things we don't need. He won't even do the household repairs on the house that is dangerous to me. I am partially disabled now and can barely go from one room to another, let alone pack and move again. I left for a week in 2020, but then the lockdown began I didn't know what would happen and I couldn't find a lawyer. So, I came back. And it's still the same. But if I was to leave again, he would DESTROY my belongings before I have a chance to come back for them. What I have here is what is left of my entire life!!! I have lost things through the years because every time I left a toxic relationship, I left a lot of stuff behind. I WILL NOT do that again. Yet, he won't be a MAN and leave!!! I am STUCK. I've gone to our now Pastor and I went to our old Pastor, and they didn't believe me. He controls EVERYTHING. He wants me to have the same thoughts, opinions, feelings, and beliefs he has. He won't let me be my own person!!! And it's all because his first wife left him. He waited for her to come home for 5 years. Then I came along. I became his LEGAL SEX PARTNER!!!! THAT'S all he married me for. He's a sex addict and I didn't know it until AFTER we got married. AND he gave me an STD!!! But he doesn't admit that he did. He won't even admit that he and his first wife had marital affairs and passed this STD between each other!!!! I WANT OUT but a lawyer told me that I can't lock HIM out to be safe!!!! Yet, he's able to lock ME OUT if I was to leave!!!!! HOW FAIR IS THAT???!!!! I am so angry that I have to be stuck in a marriage that is mentally, emotionally, verbally, and monetary abuse!!!! He's making my condition worse by this treatment!!!! I can't get help!!!! I'm about to scream!!!!! 😡😡😡😡
I think you need to cut him out of your life
I'm not sure about this however if your husband committed adultery you can divorce him, even Jesus said adultery is ground for divorce.
Narcs are like this if there jealous they want to create division …. Between chrsitian
Homes
What if you pick up all the signals of a cheating spouse, and nothing ever makes sense. What if the person does sleep around? Don't sexual activity attract demons? How do you safeguard yourself? Stay married because you don't have 100% proof? Maybe get exposed to demons. I'm clueless.