7 Signs God is Showing You Someone is a Covert Narcissist - Day 7
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- čas přidán 17. 12. 2022
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Day 5: Overcoming Toxic Thoughts that Run in your Family
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Day 6: Setting Boundaries with Toxic Family
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Day 7: 7 Signs of a Covert Narcissist
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Day 8: 3 Ways to Disarm a Narcissist
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1) victim mentality
2) Critical/Cowardly
3) Lazy
4) Passive Aggressive
5) Defensive
6) Sensitive
7) Controlling
I am a giver
Another control tactic of a CN is moodiness---sulking, pouting, withdrawing into silence, negativity, defeatism. With those tools, they control the environment in the house and set the tone. They communicate with these moods that nothing the spouse does can ever please them. Thus the spouse feels like an utter failure. In a Christian marriage, this is the death of love.
I watched that growing up w/ parents. its affected my entire life...and not in a good way :(
But that's not a control tactic, that's an instinctive reflex of relived trauma. This is bizarre seeing a bunch of angry people that made bad decisions marrying a narcissist, and leaving, instead of helping heal old wounds.
@@rickspalding3047We marry people who seem like they are capable of having a healthy loving relationship only to find our much later that we had been given a shiny façade to love and not a real person. Don't blame the survivors, please Rick. We have poured ourselves into trying to heal our partners for years and decades. The issue is that narcissists are not willing to take responsibility for their own brokenness and do the hard work of healing themselves. They are not capable of looking deeply within themselves because they are afraid of what they will find there. They are so afraid of their vulnerable humanity, that they refuse to confront it, work through the pain and heal. So instead, the spouse has to decide "Do I continue to suffer and pour my life force into a terribly leaky bucket or do I remove myself and try to salvage what is left of my life?" People become desperate after decades of this kind of crazy-making abuse so please do not shame the survivors for having the courage to survive. Leaving, for me, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I gave him space to self-reflect and hopefully change, but he did not. I waited years, communicating my heart from a distance. Still no change. Some people choose to stay stuck in a painful past that chains them to dysfunctional behavior patterns. We all have free will from God. Please don't blame the survivors.
@@rickspalding3047 we cannot heal in the same environment that hurt us…
@@rickspalding3047 What do you mean? My adult son was doing this for years. I didn't marry him. He stopped doing all this as soon as I told him what he had and he realised that I wasn't bothered any more. It's so nice without him.
Most people think you’re being critical if you call out a covert narcissist, because they’re so charming and “loveable “ in their sneaky way of controlling and manipulating.
To me narcissists are evil people. They have demons inside of them. I worked for a narcissist woman who supposedly was a “Christian”. We became “friends” at work first. I had no idea about narcissists, I didn’t even know this type of people existed. She was all about “poor little me”… I am a person who gives, and likes to make people happy, so she was always talking about her, her mother died when she was young, she was alone, nobody paid attention to her, she bends over backwards for everyone, but no one appreciates her, etc. I had made a decision a little before that as a Christian, that I would be a listener, so I was doing that with her. However, I keep noticing that when it was my turn to speak (normally with her a conversation was one way), she would cut me off immediately. I thought that was odd, but again, I had never met a narcissist so I didn’t know I was dealing with one. She would use me against my co workers to make herself look good behind my back. She would lie in my face and when I confronted her she would turn things and tell me I was the one lying. She would steal my ideas at work and say she came up with it, again, when confronted, she would get mad and play the victim saying she could not believe “I” was stealing her ideas. Basically, what she was doing, she was blaming me. She was vengeful, she would put things in writing to blame me, if I was getting attention for a job well done from others, she would immediately suggest that it was her idea… I mean I can go on, and on, anyway, now I can spot them a mile a way. They drain you…They’re not Christian people, they’re wolves in sheep’s clothing. I have always prayed (still do) for God to give me discernment and to please let me see right through people… I don’t trust people at all and I tend to put them through a test without them knowing, I am very careful about who I bring into my life (friends). I observe people a lot and once I see a red flag, I keep my distance.
We went through this also,but it was the pastor of our church of 7 years ,thanks for sharing ❤
How well I know. My husband is a covert Narcisisst. He makes people think he is such a nice guy all the time when behind closed doors he blames me for everything but takes credit for every good thing and plays the victim always. He has to be in control.
@@janetwhitten2643 I feel for you… if I were you and would go as far away as possible from this person, they’re evil people… I will be praying for you…🙏
At least you're not married to this person.......count your blessings !
I know exactly how you feel. I experienced abuse in my preteens.
He always told me what I truly wanted to hear but never followed up with the actions to make it happen.
Future making 🎯 💯
@@rozalina531 Future Faking
😢
I'm guilty with being passive aggressive too, and it's (for me) coming from my fear from the past every time the other person cannot take easily what I'm saying to him. So, it's basically to evade a certain possible grave effect on my part (esp physically), but it doesn't mean that I don't understand myself or them. This feeling actually used to make me feel wanting to explode, because I have always been controlling myself from speaking up for the issue, but it seems to be really difficult to address an elephant in a room, esp when when the other person isn't ready for a confrontation even if it's a healthy one.
And what I also hate the most is when the other person can easily lie to me rather than accept the truth. This seems to make me feel intensely awful about his behavior and it does hurt so much.
Maybe I actually had overdone a lot of taking and understanding them and this I blamed myself for a while.
But as I went along with my healing process, I realized that it's not my fault, or the other person's, but instead I learned to go through deeper until I could already realease my pains, and anger, and then I noticed how this changed me into being better, less passive aggressive and defensive. And so there's probably a better chance for us to talk things out more maturely.
And this got me truly healed effectively, though not really easy to deal with.
It's indeed frustrating when I want people to be honest with me, but it turns out most of these people I assumed probably wanted the same treatment from me were actually taking my point negatively, even my friends and parents. So, this is also another fact why I have become passive aggressive, mainly because I try to understand too much what they may feel after I gave them my honest comment.
I am also an extreme empath, so this has been my problem, and unfortunately it had me played well before I truly understood its meaning. Thanks for educating us further.
Indeed, it's helpful especially for the clueless ones out there.
@@vi37-pt8fy so you’re sensitive, controlling, critical but cowardly, passive aggressive, and defensive. You may be the narcissist.
The best way to describe any narcissist is that they are exactly like a spoiled child inside an adult's body (which has very much to do with extremely poor parenting practices).
That's 90 percent of the parenting population. Generationallly speaking boomers are the biggest narcissists out there
Funny..i was just thinking the same thing a few days ago.
Come on lets stop blaming the parent for a child being an ass.
At one point in my marriage I thought, "Is he a two year old?"
@@davidcharles66 I’m sick of blaming the parents. Then down the generations it’s not the current parent rather it was inherited from the older generation, etc. no one takes blame , just push it on to the parents.
My family is riddled with narcissists, and I see through it. You are so accurate.
As is mine..
Unfortunately I experienced more covert narcissism through the church than anywhere else in my life. Control control control with a heavy dose of guilt and shame to gain more control
Was it a reformed or calvinest church?
The Holy Spirit told me the same thing. The enemy's main goal is to deter you from focusing on the plans of the Kingdom. How does he do it? 1) By sending you a narcissist, 2) after the discard, by then getting you to expend your time and energy on over watching narcissist videos. I am not saying, once you get the knowledge and the healing, MOVE ON WITH THE LORD AND WHAT HE WANTS FROM YOU, because if we are honest with ourselves we devoted more time and energy to the narc and the videos than we have to the Lord. First we idolize the narc and then we idolize the videos. What will we then tell the Lord on Judgment Day? That knowing about narcs (wickedness) was more important than YOU and YOUR plans on the earth???????🤔 The Word of God says in Philippians 4:8 that we are to meditate on things that are TRUE, NOBLE, JUST, PURE, LOVELY, things of GOOD REPORT, VIRTUOUS, and PRAISEWORTHY, and narcs are NONE OF THESE THINGS, so lets stop giving them free lodging in our precious minds!!! This is the Word of the Lord!
Wowwww sooo true ! Thank you for this very true comment. God bless you ❤
@@islayqueenintv You are welcome. God Bless you. 💌 Now the challenge is in obeying this word.
@Bonnie Rodriguez I understand you since this knowledge wasn't so readily available 25 years ago. I also have spent time in order to get the knowledge until the Lord then gave me this word. Yes it is a lie. These narcs hypnotize you and then once you get the knowledge and know what you are / were dealing with, you snap out of the hypnotism and realize you were duped. The sad thing is when you realize you wasted years nurturing evil rather than serving God and His plans. But God in His grace and mercy uses our experiences to perfect us.
God forgive me am guilty as charged... I have put so much effort on the narc rather than your word.. The things that are noble and worth of your praise.. I repent, have mercy on me sweet Jesus and heal my heart in Jesus name.... Amen
@@Motheranddaughterstherapy Amen, it is good you acknowledge that. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:19)
I simply decided to take my power back. Go No Contact. Put all my belief in God and NEVER look back! My life is so MUCH happier. I knew my Narc for over 4 decades and it was so very draining and one sided. Now this Empath is walking a Blessed path and enjoying life like never before! TY Lord😘🙏🤗
"Empath Vs narcissist " are the very " worldly" words
Return to God with all hearts soul mind is the only REASONABLE THING TO DO. REAL ONE.... not 1 hour per week in church, the real decision
Grateful to hear. I am at 32 years marriage and am feeling dooped. Wow... learning lots. This is Michelle and I need prayers for protection as he us doing theatrical fake EVERYWHERE and even has convinced my daughter of lies/deceit as the VICTIM.
¿? How do I get to wiñ when divorcing a Narcissist??
Congratulations 🎊
They NEVER take responsibility for what they do. Never. Also, they are incredible gaslighters.❤
If you are in any way a giving and empathetic person, the best protection you can learn is assertiveness skills and techniques. Take a course in assertiveness training and learn how to answer/respond to narcissists, bullies and manipulators (pretty much all alike).
Have your children learn these techniques and they will be the greatest skills that will last them a lifetime.
How do I find such a class? Lol
The fake laughter - YES! Having one persona inside the family and one in front of other people
Yes,my mother 🤦🏽♀️🧐
So true!! Two different people 100%, inside the home and outside of it. 😱
Yeah.
One person in the home, another person in front of other people! So it’s so difficult to tell people this is what this person does or this is who this person is, because, they fake a happy, life is good attitude to people outside.
I’m just amazed!
yup! I hate that fake laughter!!!
@@jernisharichard5032my mom also does this... it's so bizarre to witness... too much drama, for sure
So happy more people are covering Covert Narcissism. It was not as known even 6 years ago. Very helpful.
@@user-ts7iz2ih5ui believed my gf currently she's a covert narcissist..
@@aimeegabon301then stop the circus NOW !!! For your sanity.....I'm a super EMPATH by definition and I am a narcissist magnet....I did not even know there were people in the world so evil until my 3 rd one. Now I can spot them a mile away and at the first signs I'm gone breaking all contact. Believe me when I say they will take you down a road you DO NOT want to take. Let them go and move on...they DO NOT CHANGE...they get worse with age. Watch everything you can on the subject of narcissism and believe what you are told about them. It's a deep dark damaging dive that you will take if you stay in a toxic relationship. Don't learn the HARD way... Cut the attachment cord and cut all ties because trust me they will come back again and again. Each time they play by a different set of games. I just don't want anyone to go through what I did...it's more difficult to heal and restore the longer you stay. Walk away...watch videos...learn and love yourself enough to know you deserve SO MUCH BETTER !! Blessings...🙏☝️🙌
@@aimeegabon301read comments of videos also. You will hear horror stories of others. They will help you to walk away....seek God and NEVER SECOND GUESS YOUR DECISION TO LET THEM GO !!! NEVER !!! 😊
I am a giver
The Lord has taught me discernment
Crazy thing is, my mom was very much like my ex-husband. He felt comfortable and familiar. That being said I KNEW he was not a true Christian so I did it too myself. Forgiving myself and submitting to God 100% now. Taking time to HEAL my childhood trauma. God Bless and thanks for your channel!
Very similar situation here but struggling to forgive myself... I pray for your complete healing sister
Same here, boastful and manipulative mum, when I met my husband , certain mannerisms made me think oh he will get on with mum (not everyone did). Its strange that you can be comfortable in discomfort but if its what you've grown up with, its what feels normal.
The best way to break free from their spell, is to stop focusing on them, begin to look inward, seek God's council and focus on healing. Kris has designed courses to help. . I have learned to google bible versus on issues I am dealing with, so helpful in shifting my focus off of them and onto God.
Thank you for sharing things that are helpful to you. I will check them out
Definitely
Thank you..Please I want that focus on Godn now, because I have children and most of times his shouting me infrant of my children🤔
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Best advise you can ever get, like Kris said, is to leave them in God's hands.
Amen
They are not in Gods hands; they’ve chosen the other fella.
It just seems like the narcissist gets away with everything and they controll God, the devil protects his own
@@madeleineperry9679 great point. Once again, narcs go against EVERYTHING we have been taught. Everything is upside down.
@@mikerizzo3766 Dont be fooled. That is what they want. They do not control God, although it may seem that way. Remember, none of this is over yet.
Someone that I know is always talking like they just got out of a starvation camp. This person has so many things to be thankful for.
Thank you so much Kris, our daughter is married to what my wife and I believe is a covert narcissist, who was just found out having an adulterous relationship. We are heart broken for her and her two boys. We’ve seen so many things over the years and are praying for her eyes to be opened. We are all Christians who love the Lord and are trusting He will show her and us how to move forward. Thanks for your Godly advice.
Thank you Kris ❤
Amen 🙏 ❤
She has every right by the voice of God to divorce. Adultery was the only reason to divorce.
I've known several pastors -- one of which founded a large, well-known megachurch and another a pastor at the megachurch -- who have/had adulterous relationship. I stay away from megachurches.
May God protect ur dawter and give her wisdom with understandin and discernment and help her thru all thru it all.may God heal her soul..isisah 41.10..i pray for her🙏
Latly, trust your gut even when you can not discern the what. "When God whispers, LISTEN". ❤
From the beginning to the end I was not able to tell him back I love you. I wanted but I couldnt..my heart didnt trust him enough, although I didnt have any big reason for that. And almost during the whole relationship deep down I wanted him to break up with me. I didnt understand that, because he lovebombed me until the day he suddenly and cruelly left me..
@@janejana333 may I ask what eventually happened?
@@lisagrace6471 He convinced me to marry him, I came to believe that he really loved me and wanted to be with me forever..he kept repeat that..and then 2 months after the wedding out of the blue he packed his stuff and left me with a smile and many cruel words...
@@janejana333 yes, and that's when you learned, and realized you had married a Monster in disguise.
I give i cant say no
I was married to an overt narcissist for almost a decade and it was hell. He abused me in every way, especially financially. He made lots of money, while I made far less and I had to usually pay most of the bills. He did egregiously evil things to me all while gaslighting me and accusing me of everything he was guilty of. I'm so glad that I'm not married to him anymore.
Lol what? Didn't you see separate accounts and you paying before marriage as a problem?
So stop making more narcissistic and make videos about your religion !! Got it
@@rickspalding3047 she probably did, but wanted to please him out of love
Same here sister. He earned more and had it all in savings. I had to spend my money and in the end so bad that I couldn't even have a car or go to the supermarket. Some people are so controlling.
Males that need looking after are the worst. Peter Pans who never grow up into Men.
He should be a politician
Amen all we have to do is to surrender ourselves to the word of God and ask Jesus to lead us with Holy Spirit
I do surrender to God and trust him however their behavior wears on you. You need a support group especially women because the husband who is a covert narcissist will try to make them think they are crazy. I have experienced this.
This is the BEST DESCRIPTION of the covert narcissist I have ever heard. And perfectly exposes the covert narc I used to be friends with. Lord have mercy!
I'm married to a convert narcissist for last 30 years,made so many mistakes,suffered like anything but trusting Lord for my healing to become what God wants me to be
I'm so sorry for your pain. My daughter has been going through this for 16 years and it's been getting worse every year. My 3 grandchildren have to put up with their N father, too. I pray for them every day!
Divorce him, you get the house, land, children, alimony, child support, furniture, dog, tax return. He get the credit card debt and becomes homeless. You don't have to do a thing, the courts do it for you. Have a new man move into your house. That what women can do. Many do.
@@georgesontag2192 wow George!
I was in a relationship with a covert n for 12 years..looking back I suffered with anxiety and depression all the time. Only after 10 years of marriage my eyes opened...and I could see his lies and the money he stole..Soo happy to be divorced😅
I am ending 35 years with a covert narcissist.
I’m so over it.
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective *Metaspyhub@gmail. com* . Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
Your story is almost a mirror of my story 😢 The more I read, the more my heart broke for you. And I’m so very sorry that the both of us had to endure all the trauma that being done this way brings. Especially knowing that theirs children involved. I too have a daughter that is being affected by narcissistic abuse. I keep praying that she never has to endure this from another person as long as she lives. Because I honestly feel like the worst part of going through this is how it makes you see and feel about yourself. Up until now I’ve stayed mainly quiet about everything my estranged narcissistic husband has put me through. But reading your story and seeing just how exact it is to mine, my voice will be heard! Thank you so very much for sharing your story ❤ I pray that God will continue to pour out blessings on top of blessings for you and your daughter 💕
I'm glad you're free!
@@BowtieAngel Thats extremely close to the same story we all have. Because they all act very similarly. Make or female. Pretty much the exact same as my wife, and a dozen others I’ve talked to. Same actions and the same responses to your actions. Once you realize it, they are very predictable.
Thank you so much 🙏
This comment is perfectly summed up. I needed this today. Thank you! 🙏🏾
32yrs of this nonsense. He kept me so busy being the workhorse, that I was too preoccupied to confront inconsistencies. Of course, when I did confront it, I was mean & harsh...ugh. Died at 45 in a car wreck (was very reckless), then a whole double life was revealed. Our 2 daughters still show signs of problems from his ways. Our son found out pretty quickly, that his dad's ways, wouldn't work well in the real world...he found his way out of the damage
When a covert narcissist leaves you, it's the best thing that could happen to you. They are the mouse that got away from the Rat poison. Run, run, run, and never look back...boundaries are crucial....keep them...do not go back...whatever you do...it wasn't the life for me and I was too strong and my boundaries would not allow me to move forward.
I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years last night and came across this video. It exactly describes him and his behaviour. The part I'm struggling with now besides the hurt and frustration is to not be overwhelmed with anger, bitterness, resentment and hatred. It's extremely hard not to respond with vengefulness and pettiness for the pain this man has caused. It's also hard not to be angry with myself for not seeing him for what he was a lot sooner.
I went through all of those emotions too, my advice even though it’s hard sometimes you may have to sit and go through those emotions. Cry out on the floor, scream, beat your couch up lol whatever it takes and then just rest in your Fathers love. He got you and wants you to know He genuinely loves you and will restore you. This pain right now is temporary and will pass. But Gods love and care for us will blow your mind once we really give it all to Him and let Him love on us every moment.
@@Shabaee2626 Thank you for your response. Today was a tough day and your message is heartening.
I so understand you! Now imagine 19 years of giving your life, with children and isolated on top. I have God and everyone else healing from these same wounds as well. We need to feel the emotions and let them go through our bodies, then do some somatic therapy and a lot of prayer. Be glad you didn’t marry him and were just 2 years. You have your whole life ahead you! You are now that much wiser ❤
Thank God you didn't marry him, it could have been far worse
I dated one, but five months and five breakups were all I could take, and my son hated him. He was all ready to "fix" my son. Uh...no!
But yours...I'm willing to bet he seemed like everything you've been praying for when you first got together, and throughout those two years, I'm sure he gave you bits and pieces of that great guy you met. Don't feel angry with yourself. These people play head games like crazy, making you think that if you just do this or don't do that, he won't get mad and want to argue. But the truth is there is no winning with these people.
Also...not reacting, staying calm and holding the line will be the worst thing. They LOVE when you argue, yell or say mean things...it feeds them I think.
It took me a while to get over this guy. I had times of relief, but also mourned the guy he pretended to be...but that part was fake.
My ex messaged me a couple times after breaking up. It felt so good to turn him down. I had started seeing a guy who was bigger and better than him, who loves the things about me that the ex used to criticize about me. This new guy was more friend than boyfriend, but I embellished a little, and it made the ex mad, I know it was a dig. Immature, but it was fun anyway. 😊
My family members love me to my face and hate and curse me behind my back. I've called it out and stepped away. Best thing I ever did. No drama here now!!
I am working on this currently. It's my mother, but my son and I are in the same house...for now. But I'm making good progress toward getting out. And I've learned not to take her abuse personally. It's annoying to put up with, but I know we'll be out soon. I feel sorry for her, I cannot imagine being so miserable, friendless and nasty to the only people around her. But I'm not engaging anymore.
Yessss! My Mother HATES ti be confronted ... she immediately change the subject!
So glad God called you to this ministry. You have helped me tremendously with healing from the abuse I've suffered. One day i was listening to you doing dishes and i just started bawling! But it was SO healing! I appreciate you 😊
My daughter has been married to a Narcissist for 16 years, who claims to be Christian, but shows no attributes of Christian love, he just lectures. He wasn't so bad in the beginning, but now he just rages or smoothes unpredictably. They have 3 sons, ages 15 to 7. Those kids suffer as well.
I am a giving Christian person with the gift of discernment, and yet I allowed myself to get into a relationship with someone with a covert personality. He even told me he was covert (after we were married). The 1st 5 months while we were dating there were red flags that I ignored. We were married after that 5 months and 4 months later he left me and filed for divorce.
We are both senior adults and had been in the ministry before our 1st spouses passed.
I would have never dreamed I would let myself get into this toxic situation.
So true about the one who professes Christianity and knows all the right things to do and say in front of others.
When I tried to talk to him about some of the things he said and did, he told me if I told anyone else about those things no one would believe me. He was so right. He had even already gotten to some of my best friends and recruited his flying monkeys.
Please pray I continue to get my own life back so I can serve the Lord like my heart desires. Thank you.
They are ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!! I am so lonely, but I am scared to death of everyone now. Especially after seeing, REPEATEDLY, how they are able to fool everyone, including my own family members. I'll gladly live my lonely life if it means being free from those demons and all their antics.
Bobbi: I did the same thing.
My divorce was finalized just this month.
Yes, I am in the middle of getting my life back as well.
@ Bobbi - so sorry you've gone through this. The "Christian" covert narcs are the most dangerous ones. Quoting scripture, seemingly helpful, giving, loving, charming. But if you think about it the red flags were there early......but after about 6 or 8-12 months you really start to see the cracks, the lies, destructive behaviour, the increasing control, envy, one-uppping etc....please please ladies if dating anyone take your time and don't marry under 1 year if possible stretch to 2 years so you learn the character of the individual thoroughly. Most narcs facade will show through around the 8-12 month mark. But test them ( man or women) and definitely pray.
I'm saying a prayer now for you, stay close to God, before you get into any friendship of any kind again, pray for wisdom to reveal what they are. These demon filled ppl are cunning just like their father Satan. They are so crafty and use your kindness to trick you into helping them so they can destroy you. For no other reason but entertainment. When ever I meet ppl now I observe everything they do and I still get fooled. Our empathy to their pain will always get us fooled unless we are on the tip of our toes..❣️
I told my mother and sister when their spouses passed “quit while you’re ahead.” They had to have a man. Their last husbands were real jerks.
My ex husband has all 7 signs. Thanks be to God that me and my 3 adult Children are healing gracefully with prayer and counseling. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏽
May you receive healing in Jesus name. N be able to help others struggling with the same.
I am an automatic giver and 😢been played many times by narcissistic toxic people, males and females. Not anymore learned the hard way...awesome video dear Kris ❤❤❤
Yeah they act like they have been let down and then they turn around and let you down after you have given them everything you have.
Such a great topic. And very true. Narcissists don't want to change because they've lived in their fantasy realms for so long that they believe the lies--they're perfect, great, better than everyone, people should be grateful for them, etc. My own narcissistic husband has only started working on himself because I packed up the kids and left him for a period. Suddenly, he wasn't so great anymore. Because if he was so "great", I wouldn't have left him.
Narcs...hate people who have self esteem, a voice and firm bounderies. Who know you are not my responsibility and not your Mother. They dont go near those types. So l am learning to be that type....and loving it.
Last line was truely awesome advice to shift your focus from Ncs to GOD and God's light !
Thank you mam ! Love from India ♡
"They've got the words but they ain't got the music"!!! That alone says it all about narcissists! Thanks for sharing and praise God for the teaching 💗🙏🏽💗🙏🏽💗
Great description!! True!!
Spot on 🎯 💯 👏🏻
Great points
#2 the way my covert narc criticises is by giving unsolicited advice all the time. "You should" or "you should have" are words they use ALL the time. Always giving unsolicited advice is criticism because it sends the message that you cannot manage life without their input. Also even though covert, she can rage when called out. She goes between rage and victim and back again in a heartbeat.
The only boundary I can have with remaining toxic siblings is no contact.
At some point you may need to adjust your boundaries to the other side of the door. I stayed too long and it took such a toll on my health I had a stroke. Now, having no other option I am at the mercy of the hands of a covert narcissist. Where THEY are the victim for having a spouse so broken and how it ruined their life. Watching everything they do for you be done with a grimace…. Being financially dependent on them now and no way out. Get out while you can. It’s spousal abuse. God is doing great things in me in spite of it all. It’s my flesh thorn to bear but avoid it at all cost. I learned too late.
Was in a 23 year long marriage ....when I was so broken because my "Christian wife " cause they cruelty she had toward me ...even refusing intimacy or sex for our last 7 years....when I'd just ask her to please just tell me "why"?? , she'd either say nothing or say , I'm not talking about that now ....and guess what , to this day she never has told me ...I didn't know about covert narcissism, so I thought I was at fault....sorry for the diatribe but he has delivered me and opened the eyes of my understanding....ty so much and I thank him cuz 32 years as a believer I've never been as close to him as I am today ....ty again I've learned so much from you already
My (ex)husband would never tell me anything either. To this day, I know nothing why he checked out of the marriage. I have recently learned he is dating his gay hairdresser. So my ex is not only a covert narc but he was gay all along. It explains a lot about his anger issues!
@@Victorious_Camilla wow Camilla that’s intense …I’m so glad he and her did us a favor !! I’m 6 years out and the loneliness is still tough but I try to remain thankful I’m alive and delivered
I'm an empath and a giver but with age I am setting more boundaries (thank God!), it is just very difficult for me to do but not impossible.
You are perfectly describing my husband of 20 years. And it’s been misery the entire time.
It’s now the worst it’s ever been- I’ve told him we need counseling and he refuses. He can’t handle someone pointing out he’s wrong in any way. We tried once many years ago and as soon as a therapist told him he was wrong in something, he refused to go back. Blamed it on a woman therapist taking ‘my side’ and then wouldn’t choose a male therapist instead.
He’s completely jealous of my career and instead of seeing it as a blessing for our family, he says I’m ’money hungry’ and I care more about being promoted than working for God. He’s been fired twice in his jobs and refuses to acknowledge it was his fault. He’s ALWAYS the victim.
His core belief system is so messed up. I feel sorry for him. When God has been trying to show him in various ways, he breaks down and has anxiety attacks and is also a huge hypochondriac- always faking a health problem to gain sympathy and attention. Tries to get our friends on his side by acting like he’s the kind one and I’m the ‘horrible person’.
I’ve been praying for a change of heart for him for so long but there’s no interest in improving our relationship together. He cares more about saving face for himself than our marriage. This is making me realize any attempt at dialogue is so pointless. You are so right about trying to argue or show them they are believing lies about how they deal with things. It’s just literally arguing with demons. I see that now. My prayers are now changing for asking God to either heal him from the demons that are manipulating and repressing him, or release me from this marriage somehow and find a path forward that glorifies our Lord God.🙏
My deepest prayers for any of you who may be struggling with this, also. You are so loved by Jesus - don’t forget our Lord God’s Truth! ❤
Thank you for the material ! it's gold !
timecodes to chapters:
00:00 - intro
01:30 - #1 Victim mentality
05:33 - #2 Critical but cowardly
07:40 - #3 Lazy
11:44 - #4 Passive aggressive
16:01 - #5 Defensive
20:46 - #6 Sensitive
25:48 - #7 Controlling
31:30 - conclusion
6 of the 7 belong to my husband - that's scary!
Thank you for the topic list. I wish all these video hosts would put a list of topics in each one.
They are sneaky. Withhold information. My ex narc husband kept secrets the whereabouts of my oldest son who was in another state and my son ended up dying. I didn’t get to him while he was conscious to say good bye due to the fact I didn’t know he was there and when a call came in to my cell phone from that state I didn’t answer it because I didn’t know anyone from there. It was a horrible time and I will never forget what he did. Then I divorced him. He was narcissistic for 30 years and never knew what was going on half the time. He bought my son drugs then lied about that. Oh and by the way…he was a “Christian”. Imagine that.
Sister in Jesus Christ/Yeshua,
With nothing but love in my heart I hear your pain. I also hear your anger and bitterness. I understand and can sympathize with your emotions and reasoning having myself been isolated, and surrounded by narcissistic personalities on all sides.
There is nothing we can do about the past but to forgive those who believed it their mission to inflict pain and or suffering in our lives.
Sadly, you'll never have that moment to comfort your son as he moved toward his *Sunset* . It hurts. That your wound was deliberately inflicted by someone who was supposed to have loved you. That alone makes it a very bitter pill to swallow...
Please know and believe that I'm saying this with the greatest sensitivity:
Grab a spoonful of sugar and some prayers because you must leave those troubles at the altar so that you can move in the rest of your life within GOD/YAH's purpose. Grounded in being the best person and woman that you can possibly be.
Sometimes we have to look for that silver lining as we're counting our blessings.... I'll be thinking of you in my prayers.
*Walk Your Blessings*
🍃🙏🏾 Stay Prayed-Up 🙏🏾🍃
🧡
@@Narrow-Pather Yes. My silver lining is that I’ve moved on from all of them. They are the bitter cold heartless ones. Im just choosing to move away from all of it. Thanks for your concern. Oh and by the way….until you have experienced the crushed heart from the passing of a child, please don’t judge on bitterness.
Thank you. I fell into a narcissist trap. I’m realizing now I need to move on, focus on God. ❤
Fell into the trap too. Except now we have a beautiful child and the trap has become more complex
My son is a toxic narcissist. Everything you said is spot on. He lives on my property and is extremely controlling. I don’t know how to set boundaries since he can be very aggressive and violent. Help!
Pray earnestly that God removes him from your property if he is not willing to change. Only God knows his heart and whether he has committed the unpardonable sin. Pray and fast for this kind of deliverance.
Only just watched this video and saw your reply.
It's heartbreaking to see even older moms dealing with adult children that abuse them.
I've tried to discuss the actions of my ex, to his mom and sisters, and they all enable him because they won't set boundaries. Much as I can sympathize with wanting to stay safe yourself... you're also part of the problem by not standing up with authority to the abuse.
What I did- that inspires slow changes over time to the narcissist, was to set extreme boundaries that are enforced by the police. At a violent outburst, I dialed 911 and sought to immediately kick him out of my home. Unfortunately, he repeated this pattern with me. I moved into a different home, we wooed each other back and he got outrageous again, meriting another 911 call and kicking out.
You have to realize, narcissists train people to let them do what they want. But you are the parent. Only someone with enough backbone to fight back with authority stands a chance. You must protect yourself with every available law and law enforcement to ensure you're not physically escalated with. And they need to be doled out these societal consequences if they refuse to change themselves. You enable your son not to just be abusive to you, but also to women they date, and in so many ways that means you have failed him as your child... by not suppressing and eradicating the monster growing in him until it's become to large to confront.
I would suggest, not living a life of fear... not being a slave to a slave master... but quietly exiting and never looking back.
If your son all of a sudden responds like an abandoned child, you can muster up minimal adult responses to parent him into respectable communications and behaviors.
"I will not engage with you if you make me feel emotionally or physically unsafe. It is unnecessary to be loud and defensive to have your needs met. It is unnecessary to take your needs at the expense of others, including your mother".
You've raised a man that is inherently selfish and lazy, willing to coerce people into making his life easier. He's still a child.
If you can successfully kick him out of your nest, never seek him out for any mutual help that is not worth the interaction, find better people to share your energy with... he might come around in a healthier way to see how you're doing, with no ulterior motives. But even then, never give much information that he could use to get to you again. Never trust wholly. Only give bare minimum pleasantries to mutually express each other's desire for the other to just be well. Simple.
It's not hard to get rid of a problem. The problem is not HOW... you know how to file for evicting an unwanted tenant/squatter, and dial police if he resists your motions to remove him legally from your home. The problem is, you are attached to the intermittent pain and comfort you receive from having him close by. You need to fully commit to your wellness and his, by severing the mom bond and learning spiritual detachment to get your energy back.
I hope you're doing okay and that your son is removed from your space in a healthy way.
I changed my number today to get rid of my ex's family's unwanted communications. They sneak back in looking for more information about me, whenever I'm ghosting everyone for a while. They can't help themselves but have a hand in everybody's lives just to feed their jealousy and superiority. My ex can't heal when surrounded by enablers. Dealing with narcissistic people on some level means that you have something narcissistic in you too that is familiar damage binding you together. Because non-narcissists have utter revulsion and boundaries versus people that make them feel small. You have to heal the pollyanna enabler in you if you want to be less appealing as a target for the narc. Normal people have no problem ignoring people that have a bunch of emotional problems. Narc families all do this thing where they are simultaneously responsible for each other's emotional irregularity and also trying to patch each other up out of "love". Constant micro betrayals, half apologies, half fixes, relapses to old behaviors, demanding unconditional love and forgiveness but not earning trust and respect.
Fix you if you want to fix him. Your presence enables him. Your absence and glow up would teach him.
They are vengeful, envious, jealous, self-centered. I agree.
Please pray for me! I need Jesus!
Jesus is waiting for you to ask Him to come into your life. He won't force Himself on you but once you ask Him to help you you will start seeing changes in your life. He loves you more than you can ever comprehend. Once you ask Him into your life He will never fail you.
Repent of your sins. Be ready to say no to the temptation.
Simply tell him to forgive you and come into your life as the Lord and master.Tell him to cleanse your heart with His blood and save you.
He will do so.
Read your bible and join a genuine bible believing fellowship or church that will help you live a godly life,serving the Lord and make heaven at last.
I pray that the Lord shows you mercy and helps you.
Praying for you.
🙏🙏🙏
I used to trust people until they gave me a reason not to, but I am no longer that person.
I ami 72 and married to a covert 79 aughhh. At least i have been learning to grey walling. Very lonely life now i understand why. I’m. Stronger than he is, thank God
I really appreciate that she calls out the tendencies that we may be gravitating to when dealing with a narcissist, specifically, that she lovingly calls us out for spending more time watching videos about narcissism than about God’s love and how to love like him.
I am a giver, yes. I was also exploited to the max by an ex-narc because I didn’t understand the cycle of narcissistic abuse. I didn’t realize who or what I was dealing with. I am really learning a lot from your channel. So nice to hear the spiritual aspect too. Thank you.
I wish I would of been more educated or had just seen a few videos. I didn’t have any idea what I was dealing with , that these people will destroy your lives and not even blink. The day I finally said no more and left she called the police and said I sexually assaulted her. This is no joke my friends, they will ruin your life , career, and worse if you have children.
@@Greydog184 Jeff, I am so sorry to hear how she dragged you through the mud, especially with the sexual assault accusation! These demons will stop at nothing and I am in a legal battle right now with the ex narc. So devious, lying is their specialty, and then they turn it all on you with the gas lighting and blame shifting. It's God awful. I don't know you but I will keep you in my prayers that you heal and are able to carry on.
@@Greydog184 37:40 on
AMEN
I am literally in tears right now after that prayer. God is speaking in a mighty way right now! For so many years this is the behavior my wife has displayed and I honestly thought it was normal and I was the problem. A couple of people through the years told me she was a narcissist but I had no idea what they meant and I truly didn’t see it. I feel like I’m trapped and have no way out. It absolutely impossible to talk to her in any meaningful way and I hear every single day how much I am the problem. Today she said I’m 90% of the problem and I really don’t even speak to her anymore. I don’t defend myself anymore either. It’s a sad sad situation. You hit the nail on the head in EVERY SINGLE example you gave. Thank you!
God bless you brother, I'm sorry you have to go through this. It might be good to get into a support group or something like that because most people have no idea what we're talking about when we talk about covert narcissism
I am in the same space!
God bless you❤
I am in the same place with my neighbour. The prayer took me to tears too. 7 years I’ve stood it, but no more. Thank you so much and bless you x
I hear that everyday also and he says I’m 100% the problem he does nothing wrong.
Consider sowing what you want to reap. it is a Biblical principle. I did that and was amazed with the results. God is NOT a man, that He should lie. His ways are higher than our ways.
I just wanted to say thanks for this video, because it revealed alot of stuff about me that I didn't realize was me until you gave examples and pointed out everything. If you can pray for me, i want to be a better and more healed person.
Dear one, open your Bible to Psalms 51(middle of book) and read it out loud. Ask for Jesus to come dwell in your heart (mind) and cast out all evil spirits within you and set you free. Bind them up in Jesus name. Repent of all your sins and evil ways. He is just, good, and faithful to forgive. You want the Spirit of Christ in you, not that of the evil one who uses you to hurt people. Now, hold on to Jesus!!! The evil spirits will try to return and keep you in bondage. Cover yourself with the whole armor of God. Ephesians 4.
For sure! I was a giver to a fault! So much money and time for the wrong people. I stopped this past year when I decided to finally live in the word. I feel so blessed that God has welcomed me back with open arms!!! Thank you so much for all that you do- I absolutely love your channel and have watched your show every day! I listen to each multiple times. 🤗
I have 3 covert narcissist in my life....all 3 play the victim but in different ways, all 3 have little tolerance to hear anyone else issues, but when it's them.....
What trickery from you know who.
I do all the listening. My stories are not important.
@@debbiejean9967 my mother in law always talk abouth herself/she always sick ore something is wrong .when i try to speak abouth me its like she dont listen and cut me off. She plays the victim card all the time to gain sympaty.she also have no tolerance to listen to others problems.she uses here son to fix everything by playing the.victim, and he can never say no to his mom. I'm positive she has bipolar/narcissist personality dissorder. I'm sick of this
Amen, I was at a physical and emotional limit. This has greatly helped me move in the right direction for my own sanity. At times I felt like I’m the one with the issue. I was guided to your feed by the lord and have some relief. You are making a difference in my life moving forward, in Jesus name.
I completely agree with their laziness. They are so good at making them look like the most diligent person who deserve recognition.
I am a giver and I was played by a narcissist husband.. this video hits home. Thanks for sharing
My father is a covert narcissist and he’s the king of “I’m gonna”. He says what he’s going to do and nothing ever comes to fruition. Ever.
Quit publicizing your father's sins and shortcomings and go figure show Jesus would heal!
@@ralphey8189 you go first.
32:46 My goodness. This was my marriage from the beginning. Completely invalidating and offering solutions instead of empathy or compassion.
Thank you for bringing the Lord into this. Everything else out there is so hateful and honestly more confusing. I appreciate your commitment to the Truth of God’s Word!!
This is an amazing video!
I befriended a covert narcissist (without knowing it). Everthing was about HIM......
At first I was the world, kind and sweet, then he was pissed about something and then he didn't contact me anymore. The "friendship" lasted for 10 years....
Het did'nt contact me anymore, because I was getting too critical.
I feel sorry for his partner, a kind and friendly person.
It is difficult to walk away when it is your elderly parent with health challenges.
Yes, ❤❤❤ I'm not sure or my Mum is cause I lost objectivity ( got myself involved) ...how would I recognise?
My husband's passive aggression is silent. If I say or do something he does not like, he will not speak to me for days. Then when he does speak he is very aggressive and it is all my fault. It use to bother me but it doesn't anymore. I just smile and be pleasant.
This is a very hard way to live. Hopefully, you have a lot of other positive people in your life. (My ex-husband did the same.) Best wishes to you.❤
I wanted to honored my Ancestors and decided to do Hanukkah. I did it the first day but then out of the blue the candles disappeared. I got a whole box. He swear he didn't took it. He was yellows of all the fun I was having. This haven't been the first incident. I can't show so much emotion for something he will make it Dissappear. 😢. Yes I had been reading about this people and now I know more.
You are a saint!!
To God be all the glory!!! This is my season to learn and I shall. Thank you, my mentor, in Christ🙏
I agree with this line “Giving to people who continues in toxic wicked pattern is not good”.
This lady has just described my last relationship. My heart is broken but I see it in a different light now.
Thank you for your guidance. I think I can cope with the loss in a better way now. Before watching this video, I was completely confused by what took place. I’m still hurting but things make sense to me now.
Hang in there. Be glad you didn’t marry.
If I didn't react the way he thought I should react in any given situation he would get upset.
GIVING to ppl who use you is not good. They will abuse your kindness. I know this so well as well.
Narcissistic Rage if you confront them...
I do not doubt for one moment that the Lord brought to me, your video. I have been praying my heart out for answers. I rented a bedroom/bath to a young woman,4 months ago. She took over my whole home. Then now, has moved her two small children into that bedroom , without telling or asking. I was just terribly embarrassed to tell anyone that it’s gotten this far. I am 70, I am not that strong anymore emotionally. I was only trying to make ends meet, to pay utilities. Now she hasn’t paid in two months. And I am evicting her, it may not be easy. I think she’s done this before. 😢
Hi Stephanie, I’m sorry your going through that. There are resources for seniors in this situation, my brother in law is a social worker. I would be more than willing to assist in looking for help in your area. You should be living in absolute peace at this stage in your life. Let me know and however I can help I will. I couldn’t imagine my grandma dealing with this, I would be upset to say the least.
@@Shabaee2626 such a lovely response. God bless you
Hmmmm- it’s easy to get her out. Go invite a move out party of young folks of people and let her know what day in writing she has to move out. Invite your crew in on that day and have them aggressively take her things out and fumemagate her area. Then invite them to stay for a few days. Just do it- and have them to take the phone out her hand and run out the house, if she tries to call 911. Lock her out and clean out her items to the outside.
Wow, Father, grant wisdom, strength and provision, so I don’t have to go back to him just to survive…🙏🙏🙏
When my old best friend said “your always talking about GOD….. “so I RAN
The devil will drop truth bombs, too!
But God whispers the answer!
Phenomenal!! I was on and off "friends" with a woman for years who displayed every one of these signs. Many times, I had wondered if she was a narcissist, but she was so sensitive when it came to children and animals that I thought there was no way she could be. But she literally fits every one of these. Thank you so much. It's my heart to forgive her and let her back into my life, but after watching this and "3 signs God is trying to remove someone from your life" that will not happen again.
The lazy really hits home with my mom. When my parent's divorced she pretty much refused to get a job. She does deliver food now but my dad pays her an absurd amount of alimony every month that covers her bills.
She holds on to the idea that she had a heart defect when she really just has anxiety but she's afraid of medication and in general just very afraid of death, despite her being a Christian. Everything is going to kill her and everyone is out to do it. She swore my dad cheated and tried to poison her.
My sister was the last one at home with her as she was the youngest and my dad didn't have room for her initially and my mom would ask her to do everything for her and if she didn't she'd kick her out. She ended up living with a friend for a few months until my dad was able to finally get himself a 2 bedroom apartment
Wow. I guess I needed to rant. I promise I'm healing. 😅
Dear 'ol born again mom. There was only one reason I dated narcy women. The most recent was a classic covert who opened my eyes to the truth of myself and my family. I'm grateful for having light shined on my life and those around me. I'm grateful for how you ended this video with a prayer. That is the true power of healing. NB: Each narcissist I remove from my life, another inserts themselves. It's uncanny. I have no doubt there is a dark force trying to keep me in bondage. The Holy Spirits keeps kicking their asses and keeps teaching me how to be a stronger so the real spiritual battles can be fought.
OMG, this is so helpful ! It explains so much and helps me to stop trying to help the narcissist in my life.
I love what you said about shifting the focus from the Narc and learning about it to Jesus. God has revealed this to me about my husband and I am continually seeking God. I appreciate that reminder. Ultimately it’s in Gods hands and I know as long as I put God first He will guide my steps. I can pray and intercede on my husbands behalf but He has to WANT God to change his heart and open his eyes to the lies of the enemy. Praying for all of those dealing with these situations. 🙏🏽
My wife is 100% all 7 of these, plus cruel. It's the end, now. She is openly cheating on me, but still living with me in order to pay down the 24,000 dollars, she ran up on my credit cards so I can take a home equity loan and pay her 55% of our home equity in the divorce. We have 6 kids together. She disappeared 5 days last week, without contacting the kids. They were freaking out and crying, but she says this isn't hurting them. She came back and acted like nothing happened. I've been hurting over what she's doing to me, but I've really been hurting and extremely angry over how she's doing them. This isn't the half of what she's doing now, or has done over these past 16 years. I pray we will get through this and find peace.
God bless you and strengthen you!
My husband and his mom were narcissists. He passed away in 2020 and I'm raising our son alone now with God's help. I'm really struggling bad with raising him, he believes that I am the reason for everything wrong in life and he can't wait until he gets old enough to leave home. Please pray for us 🙏 and let me know if there is any resource to help with teenagers.
how old is he
I BIND, BREAK AND CAST OUT THE DEMONIC SPIRITS OF NARCISSISIM, ABUSE, CONFUSION AND CHAOS FROM YOUR HOME, YOUR CHILD AND YOURSELF, IN YASHUAS PRECIOUS NAME, GODS WILL BE DONE.
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❤🙏
@@fortnitegod2236 he needs a check up from the neck up! QUIT blaming yourself and TAKE CHARGE of raising him; DONT let him take charge in anything! including telling YOU that you are doing a bad job etc! dont let him run you. YOU are the parent; YOU are the one that tells HIM what to do! dont forget that and DONT let HIM forget that either! get tough with him when he starts trying to DOMINATE you.
In my experience, they don’t change! Ever! I’m a good person and once I realize, I end up just walking away 🤷🏻♀️
Amen. I literally felt this relief. Someone who understand what I've been going through. Everything has been answered for me. Everything. Thank you. I am also a Christian so this just really helped me during this time where I am the "villain."
This video is so insightful and accurate. After an almost 2 year relationship with a covert narcissist I can attest to everything you've said as being accurate. Some of the things that I also encountered were Lies-never ending lies about anything and everything; even when there seemed to be no reason someone would want or need to. Cancelling of plans, get together's, any special or important event or date (you) are looking forward to. Faking the future(also known as future faking). They will promise you the world, this is only done to manipulate the current situation to their favor. If they have to tell you they will do something to win you over, get out of a disagreement, to ease over a situation, to get you to do whatever they want and gain control over you, they will do this. Promises of dreams come true, or a future of something you deem as wonderful will be their go to to win control and power over you, when they have no intention of ever following through with these actions. Triangulation- they will use other people, women, men, your friends, your family , a co-worker, etc. to make you either jealous, envious, put doubt in your mind about yourself, your relationship, the other woman, etc. to cause you to doubt yourself, worry, stress, become insecure so they can again regain power or control over you or the situation. They are constantly on their cell phones, hiding their cell phones, or have multiple cellphones, social media accounts under different names, and always have a line of other partners hidden to you who are usually, exes, co-workers, former spouses, whatever to go to when you do not comply with their wants. They cheat- notoriously cheaters. They are never monogamous. They have a superiority complex- no matter what you say, no matter how they hurt you in anyway they are right because they are above you to themselves. Given a chance to do the right thing, they will always choose the wrong thing especially if they know it will hurt you. They start arguments, instigate them or situations to get a negative reaction because they feed off of your pain, your outburst, your sorrow. And yes they know they are doing all these things and so much more. This response is already to lengthy, but this is a good start this video to understand what they are capable of, but unfortunately there is so much more and it only get's worse.
The fact that they all somehow follow the exact same playbook (everything you mentioned is 100% true and all narcissists follow this instinctively) makes me believe they all have the same dark evil entity living inside of them.
Amazing how we have all lived through the exact same experience but with different bodies.. and how much of an after impact they have our energy. They are black holes who drain us of our life source so they can continue living.
100% true!
All of what you described apply to my situation with my ex. The lies, even about things that did not matter; future faking, oh my goodness; triangulation - he had told peope I was crazy and delusional for years - so when broke up (because his new lady reached out to me and we outed him) - he had a ready story built over years that I was crazy.
I believe my husband is either a covert or vulnerable narcissist. We have been married for 36 years. There were many years that I was so miserable, I secretly wished he would divorce me. I had no way in the early years to understand what was going on. I only knew that his behaviors were overwhelming and confusing. Good communication was nonexistent. I say this to encourage anyone out there that God can work in your situation. I have learned to be content in my marriage. It has taken decades for improvement but it has gotten better. I wish I had been wise enough to see the signs before marriage, but I wasn't. Yet, I am now glad that I was obedient to God, and remained in the marriage. It is far from perfect. Far. But, God has given the grace to endure, and we now have grandchildren to enjoy.
yes I am a giver, and my husband will go along with it all while I am drained. i have begun to pull back, not do all the shopping, leave things where they fall in the house. I am seeing how much I have likely enabled.
You are correct about them being cowardly. Being Lazy. I am a giver by nature.
I can relate with what you are saying Kris.
Yes I'm a giver, a target.yes, they r lazy and passive aggressive. My ex put out the ingredients and cans of beans to make chili in the kitchen counter. I said nothing about it. He left them there all day. I made dinner(no chili) waited for him to say something,he finally did...he was in a grumpy mood,,then he said...he would make the chili. Indirect communication. He really had an expectation for me to make chili,serve him and then was upset cuz I didnt. Then lies to say that he was going to make it,twisting it, seething inside and blaming me for his upset and not being able to communicate directly what he wanted.
I am a gìver.
My husband IS a narcissist . Been married 45 years. He is so jealous of everything I get. The people I love the most. He is a liar constantly. Thinks it's funny. Envious of people when they some thing great or have more than he has. 😢
You speak of my dad, aunts, uncles, sister and brother and ex husband. I am thankful for Gods grace in freeing me from it. I pray for them all and pray they all let God change them. My children and I live in peace now.
I release the toxic shame, I want to move forward. Don’t repay evil 😈 with evil 👿
Oh my gosh!!! Kris, you have nailed all the behaviors of these people to the tee! And your delivery of this information is so very professionally and eloquently delivered! What a blessing for us!
Pick them off without exposing them
At 68 years of age, I am now learning that my father was an outrageous, grandiose, covert, narcissist. As a child I was always looking over my shoulder. I had my own issues and illnesses mental and physical, due to the horror riffic things he did. He controlled Me by Burying my animals alive, and other horrific mental abuse. He never sexually abused me. He controlled my mother, putting her head in the oven and turning the gas on, chasing her with a butcher knife, tried to hang her from the ceiling. I grew up in the church knowing that there was evil and good. I would hide myself in the bathtub with the shower curtain pulled shut. I would pray scared to death hoping not to be found. I have been in and out of relationships throughout my life, all of them torturous. I'm extremely empathetic and care about other people due to the fact that I had been traumatized, never wanting to see anyone else have to go through the same. I am a Christian Chaplin I have boundaries to some degree I know how to say yes or no. I did not know about narcissism 5 years ago never heard the word. I married my husband for years ago a kind and loving gentleman, who seemed to earnestly care about others. After marriage things went downhill quickly he tried to bully me but I stood up for myself, I wasn't going to let him do to me what my father did to my mother. He was going to hit me with his fists, I told him if he hit me he better be prepared to be hit in return. I put my two fists up he shoved me and walk out the door said we could not live together. Left four hours came back but refused to talk about it. Went on as if nothing had happened. He was a Baptist minister of 50 years, we served together in church his demeanor would change as soon as the services were over and he walked out the door always wanting to know if he did a good job as we drove to a nearby restaurant he enjoyed going to. He is well-versed in the Bible. I asked him if he'd ever done any counseling for married couples, he said yes. I said you need to take your own advice I'm very bold and say it like it is and that can get me in trouble. In the four years we have been married we have live together on and off maybe 10 months. He told me to get out of his house. He has his own place and so do I. Long story short he showed up uninvited with his belongings, stayed six months then one morning announced he was leaving no rhyme no reason started a big fight I told him to get the hell out and never come back he left a lot of his belongings behind including childhood memories and photos. He walked out the door one year ago. He has not spoken to me nor has he tried to contact me in the past year. I am still married to him as I am a Christian and believe in marriage but I want out and I'm praying that God will remove him from my life completely. In the meantime I I had been left shattered truly loved the man don't know how I could love someone so toxic. I have worked on myself in this past year and I'm feeling much better more in the light Less in the dark. He wants told me that no man could please me because I my hot dog was cold in the middle and I asked for him to heat it up more he ranted and raved and walked out the door with a bag of clothes he was gone for four months I had no idea where he was at. A minister in his seventies now, you're right only God knows the heart and perhaps before he dies he will repent truly from his heart. I'm not judging him I do however judge his actions and the fruit of his tree. He's evil I've seen his eyes turn black oh, he had me so traumatized and manipulated me to the point where I didn't know who I was anymore. I have come to realize that there is no one in this world that will ever treat me with more respect than my Father in heaven. I'm ready for the joy God Alone can provide. I Now understand what it means to be a narcissist. I could not have put it any better than you have in this video. I'm moving forward and leaving my life in God's hands, and my husband to his own fate.
I’m so sorry. I am 43 and am just now waking up to it too. I minimized the horrors I’ve lived through, believing know one would believe me anyway so why try.
@@PJAndersson733 believe me there are many people out there who would believe your story. God says we are not to hide in the dark but to bring the light into the dark. So you keep trying and never give up on loving yourself because Jesus loved you first you can use the love he has for you and love yourself through his love for you. God loves you so much, the hardest thing is to forgive ourselves for our part. But don't take on the part of the bully The Narcissist malignant, covert, grandiose. They were not born this way they chose to be this way and the Bible is full of their deceit and warns us to stay away from people like them learn from what you've gone through in life with the narcissist, this way you won't repeat what you've already been through there are good people out there but more importantly there is God who loves you so much that he gave up everything he had to have you and after all isn't that all we're looking for is to be loved just as we are. Hang in there God's got this Exodus 14:14 the Lord says he will fight for you. Be calm and watch what he does.
@@lahonnann Amen, sister.
He will wipe away our tears. Oo... What a glorious day it will be, when we depart from this world and meet our Lord and Saviour JESUS Christ. My heart is aching for you sister La Honna Shelby. Stay strong in the Lord. 🙏💕🙏.
I can relate. when I was young I had cousins that would bury animals alive rather than take them to the creek as would be a common practice for extra puppies or kittens that were born. Even at his father's request to do the Creek thing to me now looking back was pure evil .the things we adopt in life from times past I looked back now and I shake my head. my father was abusive to my mother. I went on to become an alcoholic and abused my 1st wife but God turned the tables on everything .I most recently got married to a covert narcissist In 2019 . she was out of my house in seven months. game over. I've also been involved with quite a few narcissists since her but was able to determine who they were ,and something that is not really talked about is: The borderline personality disorder person who comes across as one who has been a victim of a narcissist,(as empaths) when in fact they have been but they are just as much the arch enemy of the empath as the narcissist is.Study B.P.D. going forward.Many are content creators as well,but you wouldn't see it unless you study how they move as well.They be very angry,aggressive in a way that is off,but one thinks they're simply passionate on topic of narcissist abuse.Really a Face-off moment for sure.BLEZZ#KEEP DA CHANGE
He is very helping to the world, but if I need something, I have to take a number. Sometimes he is loving and helpful, but after 37 years I know that won't last long.
It just dawned on me that my adult daughter is a covert narcissist 🤯! I thought it was just me, now I KNOW FOR CERTAIN ITS NOT!! Thank you so much for bringing clarity 🙏🏾