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The way you explain this is great, and also (probably) unintentionally funny. I feel very lucky to have stumbled across your videos. Thanks! ❤

On my younger years my wife haven't even received a single gift from me when we're on gf,bf relationship.😅😅. .I just don't know why I'm like this even now. .😅😅😅. .it feels too awkward doing those stuff. .and I don't like her talking about me in other people or her friends. .I hate it that way. .

Sounds like a toxic cycle I don't want to be involved in.

You and your channel are very valuable to the INFJ community! I've connected so many dots and I feel assisted on my journey through life. Thanks Lauren.🙏

Omg! Yes! I have a “friend” who is boarderline and add, she believes we’re bffs. All she does is come over and talk about herself and won’t listen when I try to talk. I’ve helped her through her alcoholism (I also have that problem, but don’t get the same help in return). I’m working on that tho alone. You’re SO on point! I feel like you’re talking to me and you know me🤦🏻‍♀️🤣I’m like finally! Someone understands me! INFJ here ❤

Just missed it!!!! :(

You’re right about everything you said! I’ve done everything you said. And grew up with a narcissistic father(also paranoid schizo affective). I’m an INFJ, and my bf is an ENFP we get along really well from what I’ve heard. He’s ADHD and not a narcissist. So, it’s difficult to have conversations because he talks a LOT! I’m trying to get him to understand me and where I’m coming from. It’s not easy 🤦🏻‍♀️Our relationship is still one sided. My ex husband of almost 20 years is a narcissist. We got married right away. I actually waited tho to have a child until I was 33. Got married at 24. I just subscribed to you. It’s so incredibly difficult being an INFJ. We’re misunderstood.

INFJ here. You all feel my pain.

I'm 64 and have no tattoos, peircings or jewellery of any kind. I prefer plain. However I do love black nail polish. That's my only expressiveness. I never had a large circle of friends and still don't. I'm sure most would consider my lifestyle to be odd because i don't go out much and prefer books and movies. I have had long term relationships but now seperated for 6 years. I do miss having a lover. I'm not sure if i've had a mid life crisis or maybe for me that's still to come?

🎯 Thank you for your videos, they help me tremendously! For the first time in my 50+ year old life, I do not feel alone. We are many, and I love it! I am deeply thankful💖💫

😑Damn.

If I have what I need, im content and can't see why I should have or want more than that....until i hit 60

I think you're explaining an infj than an infp

I loved your book and I'm so glad I found your channel!

I have chronic knees pain almost 8 years it goes up and down the pain I can’t tolerate stress the pain goes up when I’m emotionally stressed. and I get overwhelmed people’s emotions because I collecting peoples emotions very easily it’s so hard for me to shake me off from me the negative emotions and negative energy I’m collecting. Why it’s so hard to be infj.

I’m infj and I have a friend who is infj too we understand each other I can be myself when I’m with her. We love to have deep conversation which I can’t have with other people even my oven family. The bast two years I began to understand my self after I’m feeling different then most people. Nobody understands me and I understand others very easily even before they talk to me I didn’t know why I do that but now I know why I always felt lonely and weird but I love to be alone all day long. Now I’m mom with husband and three boys. 3 of them are extroverts me and my son is introvert. I people have shallow connections with me at the same time I’m having deep connections in my head to survive 😂🤣 is this normal for infj.

This is so very helpful, thank you Lauren 🙏🏻 Almost 10 months ago I moved to Italy to a smaller town with an intact community. Many lovely people and plenty giving me the 'What are you doing here. Loads of Happy Hours, and much of what you mentioned. I am the odd ball artist and mostly self isolating. It's more challenging than I expected. Finding my peeps, l am not sure where to look. Additionally I am presently learning Italian. Not that many people speaking English. ...that should make for a good story for my first book 😂 It's just great to know you all exist! Much love 💞

the volume seems low on your videos ...I love listening though :)

INFJ, and going through this right now. Started when I was 29. 32 now, and still struggling. Mainly with guilt and shame when the survival archetypes show up. But a big thing holding me back and stifling growth is fear that I’m autistic. I grew up with the idea that there was something “wrong” with me. I struggled in school, was lonely and withdrawn, and didn’t have friends. Since I had an autistic brother, my parents were convinced that it was autism. But even at a young age, I knew this was just my parents avoiding responsibility for being extremely abusive and chaotic. If I was autistic, then that would neatly explain my “odd”, unhappy behaviour (and, more importantly, my lack of success in life) while, conveniently, protecting them from any blame for poor parenting. They needed me to be autistic for *their* world to make sense. Nobody, and I mean nobody, seemed willing to consider the possibility that my unusual behaviour was due to school bullying and home abuse. Not my family, not my teachers, not the therapists. I was cutting my wrists, starving myself, and abusing medication, desperately crying out for help, and they were all silent and uncaring. Past a certain point, I believe my parents were lowkey wishing for me to end my life and make theirs easier. This has contributed to a belief that society really doesn’t care about abused kids and is much more likely to silence and/or medicate abused children in the name of “keeping families together” than put in the time, money, and effort to remove vulnerable young people from harmful situations. Yet, I can’t completely trust my own “survivor narrative”. If I speak too passionately about something I like, it’s autism. If I feel a bit stressed and overwhelmed by the demands of everyday life, it’s autistic overstimulation. If I monitor my behaviour around others and withhold certain details about myself that I feel may cause others to view me negatively, it’s “masking”. I don’t want my abusers to be right. I don’t want to be different, at least not by nature. I already struggle so much with feeling worthless and unlovable, and knowing I am fundamentally different neurologically from the majority of humanity would not bring me hope and optimism for my future.

I live in a society that is actively trying to seek and destroy people like me.

Perfecting timing for this class

As I was going thru my evening rituals today (I chuckled didnt realize the reason behind it) , the light bulb went off - (I viewed the video earlier at work) and sparked a brief reflection - These very specific rituals keep me grounded in my physical environment otherwise I feel disorientation - panic - anxiety and having these same symptoms when I cant find an item that I didnt put back in its "place" or when my planned plans do not go to the T (unless I had a contingency plan planned 😂) this is so enlightening and the description of this in the video is spot on - thanks for illuminating this within myself. ❤

One proof that an INFJ or INFP can use to know our way is closer to a higher good is that when people experience NDEs (near death experiences) they always report that our loved ones and relationships were the most important and that they wish they had concentrated more on this aspect. I could be oversimplifying but this just stood out when i thought about it.

Thank you Lauren x😊

ON POINT 🎯🎯🎯 I basically went through a Deep depression last year because of WEARING THAT MASK. The whole point was: This is NOT ME, THIS NOT MY AUTHENTIC SELF and im tired of acting like it is. FORCED SELF ACCEPTANCE. I need true self acceptance Over Public acceptance.

Oh my gosh...I am learning so much about myself through your videos. The pieces of my puzzle of who I am and why I do what I do and how I feel....I want to 😢❤

Why is your volume so low? 😢

My parents were amazing . What if it isn't a parent?

You and your videos are a gift from God. Thank you!

Wow, this hit hard. Words of wisdom 💯☝️

I was into adulthood about 10 years before I recognized (felt and named) that I had negative emotions or any needs.

Way back when I didn't know about MBTI and being an INFJ, I moved to another department from a job I liked cause they kicked my boss out and replaced him with an outsider. Now I didn't know or even thought about why I did that, but years later I then understood that I was so sympathetic towards my boss that it was sort of a protest on my part when I did that, but I didn't even understand that about myself then. Now that I'm much older, I'm very much aware of myself.

It's painful cause we have these stupid rules for ourselves even when we were too ignorant to know we have them. It's not like we sat down and make up the rules, it's just in our personality. So overcoming those innate rules are next to impossible.

This is very helpful. Another piece of the puzzle to help me make sense of what and why these "things" happen to me.....and how to resolve them. Thank you <3

OMG. WE HAVE THE EXACT SAME ELEPHANT LAMP. And like ALL the things you said you experienced, those are the thoughts that run through my mind when I think about about being a mom. I get so paranoid. All of this was really helpful. I think to be safe I will still get a nanny to help me as a stay at home, and my husband is an ENFJ so he will be very supportive of me, and he's a great person who will be a wonderful dad. I just want to make sure I am prepared as much as I can be because I want to be a good mom and I am terrified of making my child think they were ever UNLOVED at any point in their life... bc my parents accidentally did that with me

I just broke up with my bf of 4.5 years because of this obsession with someone else i couldn’t seem to shake. It had only been like that for a few weeks but i thought i was a cheater and now ive given him abandonment issues🫠 and i basically threw away something wonderful

F.E

I admire your dedication to sharing your knowledge about this topic.

This happens to me when guys say they just wanna be friends and end up wanting to date me bc we have a “connection” 🙄 no I’m just showing compassion and empathy 😅

Are you saying were not born this way?

My foster mother took care of me since I was 3 years old. For many years, I and everyone around me thought that their attitudes were "normal" because of the way my foster mother was raised. The intermittent reinforcement (today I love you and tomorrow I hate you) created in me a dependence and a sick need to earn her love, her validation. I became a deeply insecure and dependent person, and it created a paranoia that no one was going to love me and everyone at some point would abandon me and this led me to insane relationships and not knowing how to set limits. She did to me for years (until she died) all forms of manipulation (lovebombing, idealization, discard, hoovering, silence treatment, etc.) She told me terrible things over and over again, and then she told me that she never said it. Little by little I realized that it was not normal, but I was quite older (after 40) it was that I could realize that she had a narcissistic personality disorder. I identify myself now at my age (56) with the infj personality, eneatype 4. I could never make zero contact, because I always felt that I couldn't leave her. Although I learned to defend myself with all my strength, I always put her first than me and I always felt that she was the one I loved the most and also the one I hated the most.

Thank you for this. I don't ever want to be hurtful to others either

INFJ - 36F. No partner, no kids, no home, no car, no TV but lots of friends/cousins, audiobooks, and 6 figures in investments; in 5 years, I will have enough to reduce work hours and do more travelling. Love my unconventional life!

As an older (66) INFP guy who also identifies as bi+, finding this discussion is the universe smacking me upside the head with a 2 x 4. I would say that I've lived the "odd" lifestyle just like my orientation--from the neck up--for 50 years. Trying to move some of my weirdness into the world is a huge challenge. It's so much more comfortable inside my head! Hoping to get in on the class.

Love this kind of content.

Why is it so easy for an INFJ to see a real vs a fake INFJ? 🤔 In like... 3 seconds?

This is exciting, looking forward to moving on from people pleasing, getting clearer about what it is I want and like

I have long since stopped listening to people who say that my lifestyle is weird. In fact, I have found it for most people the word "weird" means ""You're not like me."

Wow, this was so poignant for me exactly at this moment. I really needed someone to verbalize what I was going through. I hope to one day be able to help others as effectively as you are…🙏

So I'm not crazy. Oh, thank God. 😂