My Worst Experience With Cocaine
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- čas přidán 15. 08. 2023
- This is one of the worst experiences that is still in my head of my active addiction. For the one struggling www.aa.org and www.na.org are great resources.
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*I am a not licensed Therapist, Doctor, or Counselor I share experience being diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, GAD, MDD, Losing a Wife, and Father to suicide along with being a recovering alcohol and cocaine addict. I Share from experience to help others through their journey!
It’s about people helping people and together we can do this, you can do this!
#addiction #storytime #recovery
Therapy plays a huge role in recovery and life in general adhdonline.com/ericzink/ to get tested for ADHD and more, along with getting connected to psychiatrists and psychologists in your area.
The worst part about cocaine is when you run out of cocaine.
For Sure
Or building tolerance
So true
My worst experiences were always when there was more and I didn't want it . Just a thought
@@user-vj6qc6om9f more I had the less I used.
I was a weekend user for 15 years . That drug was the best at the beginning but super dark at the end
How dark?
The bad times start to outweigh the good times. In my experience, you start to get anxiety before even doing it - like you’ve anticipated the comedown before it’s even arrived. I don’t think you ever get to really enjoy it like you did when you were young then.
Depends if you’re talking about a cheeky line with the boys or smoking rocks on your own. I’ve been at it since I was about 18 after the e days me and the lads can take it or leave it.
@@joski9030 A cheeky line is never just a cheeky line though 😂. Fair play to you if you can resist the urge to fully commit. I’ve tried it many times and it’s always ended the same way - doing a slug at 6am and hating myself.
@@joski9030this sums it up when your doing your chosen drug slone seek help because youve got a serious problem
I started doing drugs since my teenage, got addicted to cocaine. Spent my whole life fighting cocaine addiction. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my girlfriend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I always admire those who beat their addiction. Knowing it's possible to fix your life knowing there's people out there that have done what I thought was impossible gives me hope I will make it through as well. Those who share their experiences don't know how much it helps when you're about to give up, it gives you the strength knowing somone who actully know what it's like to go through this tell you it's possible, it's not the same somone telling you you can do it when they have no idea what it's like, but hearing somone who knows what it's like that helps a lot since you understand it firsthand and made it out gives so much hope. so thanks for sharing.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
I never realized your wife passed away, really sorry to hear that man
I have remarried since but head was a rough time and still healing
Plot twist , we re all dead and she s the only one alive coz she was standing by the door
You can go to rehab for alcohol addiction because it can kill you and is physically addictive,.
Cocaine including crack cocaine is psychologically addictive, no physical withdrawals at all and for that reason in my country they will just offer you talking groups.
Pointless drug not found in any pharmacy or hospital.
Cannabis is used for anxiety, depression, pain, insomnia.
Mushrooms, ecstasy and LSD for anxiety and depression, amphetamines for ADHD, ketermiene for local anaesthetic before a medical procedure, heroin for pain, end of life care and for diarrhea.
Basically every drug especially heroin/opiates is found in every pharmacy or hospital in the world.
Cocaine and crack are not and not even physically addictive that's why you don't go to detox off them, pointless drug no pharmaceutical purposes to it whatsoever and before it's in You're hand's it's been bashed up lot's of time's
My husband took his life .he was only 34. . Functioning weed and sometimes meth user .. worked a full time job and paid our bills .just ! You don't have to be hard core ,train wreck,in the gutter addict to fall victim to suicide .. every one is different as in mental ,emotional,and physical Resistance to drugs .. and yes when drugs are cut with extra toxic ,different substances ... It can do damage almost instantly to your brain which is how my man found himself puting our dogs lead over the second floor balcony ....and hanging himself..just metre or 2 away from me .. from high to bye in a matter of hours ..tragic and shocking .
2- 8 balls for 500? Damn… that’s 250 a ball…I’d bet them for 125/ball or 450 for a 1/2 ounce….this was back around 2004…
I stopped smoking at 19, last year I stopped drinking. I don't do any drugs. I am 53 single no children or pets and it's fine, may the force be with you
May the force be with you brother... Always
“We’ve created our own trauma through our use of drugs” man I will always remember that, thank you so much for sharing, I hope life is a lot better for you now 🙏🏾💯
I've lost 3 friends to suicide in the last 45 days so this video really hit home. Although my partying days are behind me and I was lucky to be able to snap out of my addiction days in my mid 20's, many of my friends weren't so lucky and I've watched them deteriorate. Its very sad.
That’s horrible bro. Share their stories when ya can. It’ll help.
@@joshuawesteros5345 one of my friends commited suicide like 20 years ago. It was similar as in this video story. At those times, we partied at underground techno... at one of these parties, he did too much and was never the same afterwards. And thats when I met him. I never knew him before this, as a normal man. Only as this new state of mind. Ppl were making fun of him. Me - not. I was the only person taking him seriously. I have a clean consciousness now. Contrary to others, who always made fun of him, including his bro. One time I got into the issues in a pub, and he vanished, 5 minutes later, the guys in the pub started to beat me up real bad - thats when he returned. He forsee this, he returned with 20cm kitchen knife, to fucking save my life and thats what he fucking did!!! Damn ./ Anyway. We played as a DJs for a moment at one pub, had one succesfull night there. Everybody loved it, we were invited for next week. Agreed on that. I stashed my DJ equip at his place (just a smal DJ needles for a turntable) and agreed he will take it next week. That never happend. Next week, he was a already dead. Hang himself. What the fuck mate .... still hurts. He was like 20yo and me as well. Now Im 40.
Man this guy is real. I am so sorry to hear about your wife . Glad to hear you got sober! me too!
It’s good to have someone being honest
Helps to be
I believe I just had one of the worst comedowns yesterday. I've been trying to quit coke and alcohol but being alone at home triggers my addiction. Went to a local rock concert, everything was amazing, but I thought I couldn't have any fun if I didn't drink and snort. I wouldn't even go there without getting drunk. I've never used as much as I did yesterday and spent all the money I had. I had such a breakdown that I was just bawling my eyes out for more than an hour out of guilt, embarassment and everything. I just want to stop this shit and all the lies that come with it, I have someone to take care of and I'm just throwing my life away. It's like I'm a completely different person now, I don't even know who I am anymore. I hope this was the last time. Thanks for the vids, they always help me.
I’m also an alcoholic and cocaine addict. I’ve been in recovery for 4 years. I know exactly how you’re feeling because I’ve been there countless times. I would routinely snort my paycheck within 2-3 days. The shame, guilt, remorse, anxiety… it’s fucking horrible. The good news is that you can stop man. I promise you can. I won’t sugarcoat it - it’s not easy. You have to want to do it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step and it seems like you’re there. I recommend letting your plugs know that you’re done. I would also delete their phone numbers. I had one plug whose number I memorized but I would purposely try to fuck it up in my mind and I eventually did forget it. Good thing, too, because about two years into my recovery I had an incredible urge to get some. I tried like hell, but the friends I knew who were still doing blow all knew that I was sober and no one would get it for me. People, places and things - you have to be willing to change all of them if you really want to get sober.
I know meetings aren’t for everyone but they really helped me out. I’d even say they helped save my life. There’s also a really great subreddit called r/stopdrinking that has thousands of people in it that are just like us.
Remember - you don’t have to commit to never getting high again. Just commit to not getting high today. When you wake up tomorrow, do the same thing again.
@@C.K985 tks a lot man, and congrats on your improvement. I'm trying to put locks on the doors that lead me to addiction, kind of like trying to prevent this monster from escaping the cage. Engaging in new hobbies has been a positive thing and expressing my feelings through art too, it sort of fulfills the needs that I'd otherwise be trying to cover with alcohol and drgs.
Stay strong anyone who's reading this and be kind to yourselves.
Repent and trust in Jesus. You can't go through life without him it will always be hard without him but once your given the holy spirit everything changes.
Start exercising 🫡🇺🇸🏴
I went through the same thing my friend, I was told about hypnosis. So I went and tried it and it turned my life around.
I could never sleep after cocaine, i would rarely take it but on a night out when i did, i would take 1 gram and be up till 6-7am. Then when i would go to bed, i would be rolling around unable to sleep and just sweating profusely. Very surprised to hear you could sleep like 15 mins later.
This is really interesting to me. Trying to find as much info as possible. Someone I know is a coke addict but can very quickly fall asleep after taking it. Was wondering if it was cut with something... They can be getting ready to go out in the morning, disappear for some lines and then conk out. Maybe that just happens to some people?
Possibly they have ADHD. It is a big reason I thinks some of us loved it so much. Coke made us feel normal. Some stimulants actually shut our brains down enough we can get some sleep. @@FlabbyAbi
@@FlabbyAbi No, it's just because they are fd up on it and their body can take it.
Yup then you hear the birds chirping on a workday and you know your fucked lol 😂 fun times but don’t miss em
@@morganborzelli8942I hate that part 😂
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Does anyone know any good source to get them? I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels, would love to give shrooms a try.
Yes, dr.sporesss
Dr.sporesss is the best, he's been my go to for anything psychedelics.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
PTSD from drugs is surely a thing.
Can u give me a typical example of ptsd from drugs?
@@dwade6322certain smells, places, songs will bring up that feeling that you used to get when using. Not always, but sometimes
I will absolutely 100% agree. It absolutely can mirror ptsd and I’m certain there are many cases of diagnosed PTSD from the experiences from extreme drug use. Your comment actually really interests me…it might be a new study for me. ❤
@@dwade6322I think he means the experiences from extreme drug use have caused ptsd. Not the actual consumption of the drug. ❤
@@dwade6322 Example: Before my friend took his own life, he was with drawing from weed. He spent years hiding his habbit and lying, to the point that he never knew what was completely fabricated to cover for his drug usage, was real or a delusion and even the realisation of years wasted. This broke him. He begged for help from the NHS and was turned away. In reality, his perception on reality was recalibrating due to sobriety. He wrote to me explaining how he felt like a broken man, unsure of his reality and who is actually is. He isolated himself and died from exposure and starvation.
Stay strong mate. Having an addictive
personality is a tough thing to deal with. You've just gotta find healthy addictions.
Addiction itself is unhealthy, it is a *disease*
Find a hobby, not an addiction
I started doing drugs at 5 years old. I didn't quit until I was 56.
Eric, I’m so so sorry for your losses 😢😢 Stay strong, we need you!
God, in my deep coke addiction I had a 100 nights worse than this! Shudder to recall most of it
I live in the UK and am at the point where I'm beginning to think about my drug usage. These video that you'd are making are so helpful, you've genuinely prevented me from doing the next line. Appreciate the honesty and it takes real strength to talk about it, especially in the context of your loss. Thanks again. Stay safe, and please keep going. Rich
Your honesty means so much to so many people😊
I enjoy hearing the stories of others in recovery. The stories remind me why I stopped years ago. I remember how bad I wanted to be clean and how hard it was to stay clean. What he said about causing ourselves trauma is the truth. I still feel traumatized by crazy things I did or close calls I experienced. It feels great to be nearly 18 years clean.
Love your channel bro. Honestly you’re a true man
This is such a heartbreaking but honest and true story. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
You have my full respect for your honesty and how open you are. Congratulations on recovering and may it continue.God bless you. I’m so sorry to hear your wife passed away,
So very brave and honest.
Thank you Eric.
Many people have to be helped by your honesty. Thank you
Your honesty is admirable.
I'm so sorry for your loss! Sending you lots of love and positive vibes ❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
Holy sh*t, man. The fact that you are still here is impressive. Thank you for sharing your life experience. I hope you have a good, peaceful, rest of your life.
I really appreciate you sharing these stories of your experiences. I battle my own addictions. After 30 years of heavy partying i have def slowed down a lot. When everyone you know loves to drink an party it's hard to stay clean. Thanks again.👍
thanks friend i was about to buy some then this video popped in my recommendations and ended up deleting the guy's number. thank you!
Thanks for your honesty, man.
You were both adults and you made your decisions. Sadly, her story ended too abruptly. This was not your fault. She doesn’t blame you. Your honesty is refreshing and raw. Your healing is inspiring and deserved ❤
Your testimonial sends shivers in my body. I m an ex coke and fentanyl alcohol recovery addict. And man , when you said that we all had one experience that is our worse , I totally agreed with you. Hope you’ll find happiness in your life, and every day is a struggle. It’s worth fighting ❤❤❤❤thank you for being you 👍🏻🏆
Hi! I wanted to thank you so much for making your videos and putting everything out there. You’re incredibly brave & your videos are very healing & help me a lot.You’re a blessing to everyone out there. Your Fellow Addict - Dave 👍👍
Some people are never the same after heavy drugs
Most*
your talking of these experiences is healing yourself !
It definitely is I’m going to be sharing more of my experiences
As some point you gotta let it go , reliving it helps at fist , but eventually thinking/talking about it triggers your inner addict.
@@chrisquintana3877speak for yourself and not for others
I’ve never heard of anyone being able to fall asleep after doing coke all night. Once I started that meant I’m hearing the birds. To this day, if I happen to be waking up early enough that I hear the birds outside my window it brings me back instantly. Massive anxiety. I’m guessing my brain doesn’t want me to ever forget how bad that sucks
Watching the sunrise to this day can sometimes give me massive anxiety and deep depression.
real coke addicts will wake up snort a line and go back to sleep. that's fukt up but i have friends that have this habit
Holy shit I thought I was the only one!! 😂 everytime I pull an all nighter now my anxiety sky rockets
People with adhd or add are affected differently by psychoactive substances that’s why kids who are properly diagnosed and prescribed stimulants become zoned out zombies
Benzos
Thanks for sharing mate, and sorry for your losses
Thank you so much for sharing your story with so much bravery, you are turning your pain into empowerment for others. I definitely have very traumatic memories from my party days using lots of coke and other drugs. At the time I thought I was just being free and having fun but I look back now and realize how damaging it really was and how much that affected my brain.
That was kinda heartwarming. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you!! I am very inspired by your story
My sobriety date is 2/1/2016
Appreciate your honesty
Stay strong man. Sad to hear that about your former wife. I was into the same level of use and had similar experiences when I suspected the substances were cut with crazy substances. The paranoia, psychosis, all that and hospitalization.
My God!!
And you are still Alive....
God Bless you for sharing your story.
All love and best wishes .
❤❤❤❤❤.
My Man, a super tough existence
🙏hopefully you can help
Others
Coke an alcohol always been very problematic in my life also ! Good to hear your story - but also sorry to hear about your wife and father ,
I am at the stage of still having little relapses on it but hating myself for it - I go more than a week or 2 an I will slip up only for one night but it really not enjoyable anymore - hate myself it’s soo ingrained in my social culture as a thing to do when out . Hopefully I can find the same strength you have had to do and get completely clean but every step is a step an compared to what I was like it’s a total different stage soo can only keep trying to progress the brain is a really tricky thing to control - that’s for sharing your video
Your helping a lot of people! Keep up the good work warrior ! Greetings Portsmouth England 🏴
🫡🇺🇸🏴
Meth laced cocaine and Wii Bowling must be quite the night lol
Not endorsing drug use, but I used to wash my coke with anhydrous acetone and let it dry in a coffee filter. Coke won't dissolve in Acetone, but lots of 'cut' will. Made it 100% better. I don't do anything these days except craft beer when working in the yard.
Someone I know is addicted to cocaine and I'm worried it's cut with something. They're falling asleep a lot on it so maybe cut with opiates, do you know if they'll dissolve? Could do an experiment....
Except that acetone eats the shit outta your sinus cavity
Thank you for sharing. Imagine what you described everyday for years. It takes time for the brain to go back and heal itself......
Thanks very much pal for sharing 22 months clean and sober my self
Thank you for sharing what you share. You are incredible
I came here by accident… not even on the topic I was looking for. But you did say a few things that are helping me in my current struggle. Thanks for your bravery and sharing.. jp
Thank you for doing this videos. I am 37 and been clean for 210 days. I use to go on benders for like 5 years.
Feel that and all the love
A five year bender is mad
I appreciate you coming out for this, thank you
l'll refer this mycologist who helped me treat my depression and anxiety, check him out he also guide newbies on proper trips moments.
He's on Instagram
@novatripps
Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks for sharing your story, I never had a drug problem (thankfully) but hearing your story was touching.
You're still kicking dude 👍.
One day at a time.
Thank you for this great video.
Man youre literally a warrior and inspiration courages and brave. Good for you man wish you endless success health and wealth. Things will get better you have great mindset and mental keep it up.
You are talking about everything bro, you got a lot of courage.
Heartbreaking brother...
But you rode into the storm & calmer waters are ahead.
Sorry about you're partner Man
The pain in you're voice as you relive the journey it scars , you're brain so deep..
You literally become a slave .
I can totally relate to this, I'm excalty same mindset , I've gotta stay in that high zone ..
Its All or Fk all , ain't it ??
Keep going bro , keep talking & keep at this.
Journey's over Man ,some people didn't come back , but you did .
I'm sober but my brain still plans times to get drunk/wrecked. I sceme ways to do it and things until I get enough mental clarity to shift the thoughts to something else or stay physically busy. It sucks...hope it's not like this forever. I like your channel and your honesty. Subbed. Take care Eric from over the pond 🇬🇧
I remember those days very, very well. I think about it now, and it makes me sick to my stomach. It really does, I've been clean now for going on 15 years. I am thankful everyday for it My life was when I was using. I just makes me sick. God, Bless you my friend.
Really sorry to hear about your Wife and your Dad. A loved one's Suicide is something that changes you forever. A good friend of mine took his life about 20 years ago and it still haunts me to this day if I really think about it. Congratulations on your sobriety. Keep going....one day at a time brother.
I’m so sorry to hear about your wife my condolences.
You are a good man i have been watching your videos and i relate.. this hit home .. thankyou i am so sorry this happened
This was a great listen, though terrifying and sad. You look like you’re in good shape right now keep it up. Sorry about your significant other.
Thank you for your story.
Sounds like she had a psychotic break and that really sent her over the edge
I can tell from your face how much it brings you back, im afraid to respond below your vids with my story, im at day 4. I hope following you might help. I gained tinnitus, from a night like that.
Thanks bro 💎
Far out…your honesty is real 😮
I had a very similar maniacal psychosis of paranoina that all started in one of my runs with amphetamine when I was about 18 years old and it took me well over a year to get back to normal. I had the same paranoia with police breaking into my apartment and hiding in different parts of my flat. I couldnt go to the bathroom without a knife and when I sat in the bath one night with two knives it just fell off like water that it wasn't real, if they wanted to come in and take me it would already had happened. So myblesson from that was to get out of a psychosis like that you must figure it out yourself. You got into it and you're the only one who can get out of it. ❤
I’m so sorry about your wife brandy. I can’t even imagine your pain. I’m glad you’re clean and sober now tho
So sorry .. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing
That's very unfortunate. I have bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic features and a meth addiction and this has definitely happened to me before. I have definitely been permanently affected by psychosis from both manic episodes and meth. Hope you're doing well man, that shit is not fun
Thanks for sharing .
Thank u so much. Ur the man
One of my worst experiences is when I was so high on coke I parked at a park in the middle of the night . I guess during that time security closes the gate to the parking lot and I look behind my rear mirror I thought it was a police I was so frightened I threw my bag of coke on the side and once the car pulled up and flash the light at my car it was a security only . My heart was beating so fast …
Then I left and came back to pick up my bag …. God I’m so glad I am sober now for 1 year and I am taking my classes from court that got me sober . I’m so grateful . I can relate to all your stories . Ugh sometimes I will have flashbacks … 😢
I still miss it even after 3 years without. But never again 🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing...Good luck.
As someone who has had a mental break, I can empathize with your wife. I haven’t been the same and it’s sad she was never the same after that 😢
I'm 8 months completely sober and I relate to what you said deeply. The sex drive running overdrive and body parts not working is so true. I realised I had very little in common with the people I surrounded myself with except a love for the drug and don't hear from hardly any of them. Theres alot more to life than booze and drugs.
I love it. I wonder if this kind of honesty makes kids think twice befor doing any kind of drug... Usually it's drugs are bad, they will fuck u up. And when they try them and feel super good, they think its a bunch of bull...
That’s why channels like this one are so precious. Never did drugs (not even weed) but I want to be able to explain to my kifs WHY drugs are bad for them, what they can and will do to them.
Eric’s doing a hell of a job explaining what addiction’s like. I have a ton of respect for the man.
@@SardaukarX😊 ppl
Thanks Eric
Worst experience is when I couldn’t get it up
What about when your uncle blew your back doors out?
@@auntiek8114lmfao
2:37 dude this is crazy I can't believe how much like it seems every couple that do drugs together go through pretty much the same kind of situations and at the time it seems like you're right we think it's a bonding thing like oh we're doing drugs together we're so you know something special but really we're just killing our relationship and ourselves but it's sad how much we really don't realize we're going through it how much stuff really does and will for the rest of our lives affect us and read that we didn't even know we could be negatively affected by the way I'm proud of you
Thanks for sharing
2 fifth of vodka and a 8 ball a day?! Your a beast!! Congrats on getting sober! I’ve been sober for about 4 months now but I still smoke pot. Trying to stop that as well. Keep up the great work!!! Love from california
Coke paranoia’s horribly intense!
Meth is brutal
I agree. I have a few that still haunt me.
I pray to God I get sober some day. Best of look to you sir.
I’m really sorry for your loss. Kind of went through the same incident with my wife. We were both addicted to drugs but one night she walked out and was walking the streets and got hit by a car.
Lad absolute respect to you for talking about it my life is fucked because of coke and alcohol
sorry for your loss.
thanks for sharing your storry bro
Id be pissed if laundry soap was in my stash
Just listening makes my nose water.