The SCIENCE of LOVE ADDICTION | How they're making you OBSESSED with them

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  • čas přidán 22. 05. 2024
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    #psychology #psychologyhacks
    00:00 - Intro
    00:10 - How dopamine works
    00:29 - Why the early stages of love feel exciting
    00:45 - How a healthy relationship works
    01:20 - Unhealthy relationships
    01:37 - You can't crave something that you already have
    02:37 - Partial reward schedule
    03:27 - Break-ups & rejection
    03:48 - Make better choices
    04:34 - Join my Patreon

Komentáře • 99

  • @Hana-ne5ng
    @Hana-ne5ng Před 10 dny +46

    If somebody is giving you mixed signals then the chances are that you are a backup and they genuinely not interested in you and doesn't see any future with you keep yourself protect by these kind of people in the very beginning. If you are seeing these gestures coming from them then don't ignore them. You shouldn't be with a person who doesn't gives you value. you also deserve enough energy of him/her as much you are investing on them. What you don't want in the beginning you will not tolerate in the future so keep yourself protect. 🙏

  • @how_you_talk
    @how_you_talk Před 5 dny +8

    I am a human behaviour expert and in many cases I have seen after all the drama in the end people just want a stable secure relationship and the dopamine chase becomes burdensome. It affects health badly as well. Many land into therapy.

  • @thatsmellsdivine
    @thatsmellsdivine Před 7 dny +9

    As someone with ADHD, this video is VERY eye opening!!

  • @StudyChannel761
    @StudyChannel761 Před 12 dny +32

    Since I have started watching her videos I have stopped falling in love, approaching men, pursuing them and responding to their interest. Because, I observe my thoughts and actions every time & understand why I feel certain ways & boom! The attractions are gone.

    • @ChessTube100
      @ChessTube100 Před 10 dny +4

      Understanding love is like dissecting an animal. Once you are done, your object is dead.

    • @StudyChannel761
      @StudyChannel761 Před 9 dny

      ​@@ChessTube100 true.

    • @commecicommeca9944
      @commecicommeca9944 Před 8 dny +4

      ​@@ChessTube100are you sure you mean love - or maybe limerencing (aka obsessing over someone, chasing etc.)?

  • @Lawlight61
    @Lawlight61 Před 12 dny +47

    The crazy part is she does not even know that she makes me addicted or obsessed with her. It gets even harder when you stand in your own way but assume that someone else sabotages you. I hate me for doing that to myselfe.

    • @s.k1127
      @s.k1127 Před 12 dny +5

      Same here, I too fed up with my own feelings for him, I don't want to bother him, but I just find it difficult to get over him bcz of so many reminders mind set of him.

    • @hattabsleh6210
      @hattabsleh6210 Před 9 dny +5

      Just move on bro, dont waste more than few weeks on a person if there is no improvement move on

  • @MindBuddies
    @MindBuddies Před 12 dny +21

    The breakdown of dopamine's role in romantic obsession is fascinating. Thanks for your sharing!

  • @arica1798
    @arica1798 Před 12 dny +8

    Anticipation is the best free gift

  • @naimulislamueramgarh9452
    @naimulislamueramgarh9452 Před 12 dny +2

    Thank you for this new setup for CZcams.Best of luck.

  • @magwambui8251
    @magwambui8251 Před 8 dny +5

    Well...I decided to have that dopamine chase for higher power...God. It's an interesting journey 🎉

  • @Jennifer-xl5fh
    @Jennifer-xl5fh Před 7 dny +1

    Thank you so much for the perfect timing and content with practical help

  • @graceguerzon8347
    @graceguerzon8347 Před 11 dny +1

    I love this ❤. It reminds me of what’s really important in my nervous system.

  • @SarkasticProjects
    @SarkasticProjects Před 8 dny

    Amazing video. ❤the setup is perfect

  • @sarahs5340
    @sarahs5340 Před 4 dny

    This was so so helpful. Thank you.

  • @jacksavage279
    @jacksavage279 Před 8 dny

    Great content from you on this channel.

  • @jaimerodriguez1550
    @jaimerodriguez1550 Před 5 dny +1

    I got a coworker who won't stop flirting with me. I started chasing her, then she started saying she was busy, then i started ignoring her and talking to other girls. Her facial expressions, her voice, her tone, her body language, how close she comes to me, what she says, she escalates it. I dont know whos more addicted me or her.

  • @josealfredfernandes
    @josealfredfernandes Před 12 dny +16

    I want to be in my first relationship without all the bad addictions. Just simple love. No one sided. Mutual. Stable. I want to have babies with her. My first girlfriend and my one and only lovely wife even during and after misunderstandings and fights. No break up no divorce. I want to find love which is loyal like how my parents have. I'm 22 and I got rejected 3x!

  • @Madhuwellness
    @Madhuwellness Před 2 dny

    Good one ❤

  • @lauraa857
    @lauraa857 Před 12 dny +12

    I experienced that with a man - I think about him every day since a year now. It is hard for me because I don't find attractive guys in general neither are interested in them. So it is hard to replace. I wish i never met him.

  • @payelsahaghosh9155
    @payelsahaghosh9155 Před 8 dny

    Very nice explanation... Thanks🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @brittanysmith3716
    @brittanysmith3716 Před 12 dny +25

    Can you show us steps to detox from dopamine?

    • @amyg995
      @amyg995 Před 12 dny +4

      Get idea 💡 I agree 💯🙌🏻

    • @athens31415
      @athens31415 Před 4 dny +1

      If you have ADHD, then just get treated for it. Problem solved.

    • @mbadillomylesjerichob.9494
      @mbadillomylesjerichob.9494 Před 2 dny

      Reduce or temporarily remove all instant rewards like, social media,games,music,movies etc in 16 hours to weeks or days

  • @user-hf7kj9dp1f
    @user-hf7kj9dp1f Před 11 dny +7

    Please make a video on how to not get obsessed with a guy when he is infrequent or inconsistent. How to stop addiction.( because sometimes the person isnt doing it on purpose and its just the start)

    • @alexdragon6893
      @alexdragon6893 Před 9 dny +1

      walk away, you can't say they don't do it on purpose, at a deeper lever they know it and they love it

  • @johnnycomelately6341
    @johnnycomelately6341 Před 9 dny

    very good . thank you

  • @MohammedAbdullah-gx9rv

    I did a good thing those last days
    That I have followed you
    Such a great thing
    Greatful thanks

  • @7575michael
    @7575michael Před 2 dny +1

    I disagree with the assumption that dopamine release is bad ... at the beginning of a relationship . In fact, it is completely normal to be anxious because if you are not , you are simply not in love ... The problem comes when both didn't experiment this dopamine effect because the relationship is one-sided.

  • @yokiweyy4770
    @yokiweyy4770 Před 12 dny +10

    I think I'm experiencing something similar.
    A few years ago I met this girl who's a friend of my sister. She lives away in another city and was visiting my sister. We went on some dates a couple of months later when she was visiting again. Hit it off really well. We even get intimate. Then she goes back home, but we still keep in touch. She then starts disappearing more and more until I stop texting her thinking I was just wasting my time and feeling like shit for months because I really liked her.
    Then I see her again last week at my sister's wedding. She apologized for ghosting me, telling me that she really liked me, but was scared of the distance and somehow felt anxious about keeping in touch. All cool and dandy and we enjoy the evening. Then later, after the both of us had some drinks, she grabs my hand, leans in and we kiss. We spend the rest of the night making out like crazy, but also talking about how it sucks that we live far apart and can't make it work. We both want to go to my place and bang like there's no tomorrow, but she keeps her composure, saying that it's a mistake, that we will get burned again and that she doesn't want to hurt me again.
    Well she was right. Even though we didn't go all the way I can't stop thinking about her and about how I'd love to see her again, about how it really sucks that we are long distance and couldn't at least try to have a normal relationship with her.
    I'm even thinking about texting her and proposing her to try to go long distance. I really just don't want to give up the only girl that liked me without me having to jump through countless hoops and that I really felt a strong connection to.
    Maybe I'm just venting here, but I think that this story has some relevance with the video's topic. I crave her because she gave me the strong highs when we saw each other, and then there's the lows after she ghosted me back then and now that I can't see her.

    • @just4dalaughters431
      @just4dalaughters431 Před 12 dny +7

      She don’t really like u, move on, she just don’t want to hurt u because she’s ur sister’s friend.
      Do u know what a girl will do if she really wants u? ..EVERYTHING!!

    • @Poodle_Gun
      @Poodle_Gun Před 12 dny

      Men say they like virgins lmao. They like women with experience and feeling sad

    • @user-hf7kj9dp1f
      @user-hf7kj9dp1f Před 11 dny +3

      ​@@just4dalaughters431 not really. As a girl i can say we might like someone but still never text them back either cause they are inconsistent or something like that or because we are scared.

    • @lisaruvalcaba1853
      @lisaruvalcaba1853 Před 11 dny +3

      Thanks for sharing long distancer here too. Maybe she’s afraid of losing herself in you, thinking you won’t move to her area or won’t invite her into your area with a promise of commitment. Fear of rejection & abandonment are biggies for my ghosting tendencies. Talking to her about it would be the best route & allowing yourself to just listen to her thoughts on it. Lean into Vulnerability & intensity to see what their telling you. You may have got the gold.

    • @yokiweyy4770
      @yokiweyy4770 Před 10 dny

      @@lisaruvalcaba1853 thanks for your insight, but i yestarday i found something out that completely turned me off from her. i talked to my sister about all this and she told me that this girl was already seeing another guy, who also lives away from her.
      so i got pissed for two reasons. first, she kissed me while she was seeing someone else, all the while telling me how it would have been great if didn't live so far apart. so she disrespected both me and him. second, she was all anxious and scared about long distance with me, but is ok with long distance with this other dude.
      and also, if we would have tried going long distance, who says that she won't pull a stunt like this on me? maybe she goes out with her friends, sees an ex and they have sex again because she gets caught up in the moment?
      so yeah, @just4dalaughters431 is right. she doesn't care. i know that i deserve better than this, so i won't waste more time on her

  • @vantasiascauldron1861
    @vantasiascauldron1861 Před 12 dny +14

    This is so interesting. How does one make a dopamine detox?

    • @Nilslos
      @Nilslos Před 10 dny +3

      I think what is meant here is no complete dopamine detox, but to identify if there are such unhealthy dopamine sources and get distance from them. Like when you recognise you're attracted to someone but also that it is no mutual attraction, you decide to have less contact with that person.

    • @andromeda3780
      @andromeda3780 Před 9 dny +1

      Set real standards for yourself and stick by them.

  • @devyanikhatri7225
    @devyanikhatri7225 Před 7 dny

    Thank you v much ❤ sis

  • @MMahim-lh8nx
    @MMahim-lh8nx Před 9 dny

    Good vedio, thank you mam!

  • @klaudiawitek5300
    @klaudiawitek5300 Před 12 dny +2

    The question is how to be attracted to a partner/ find a partner with who you can create a healthy dynamic?

  • @harjindersingh7124
    @harjindersingh7124 Před 6 dny

    Nice and logical

  • @theteal2086
    @theteal2086 Před 12 dny +5

    It’s too late for me but your advice will definitely help people develop an awareness about obsession.

  • @VikingLynn9
    @VikingLynn9 Před 12 dny +1

    Thank you so much for this! I have a guy at work thats been doing this to me. Hanging out and acting like we may be something like a work boyfriend but cuts it off. Maybe you could talk about why guys hurt other women when they've been cheated on by an ex because supposedly he thinks all women are cheaters since an ex did this to him! He even told someone he's afraid to try with women over it. Thanks Francesca!

    • @fivebooks8498
      @fivebooks8498 Před 9 dny

      I’m one of those guys. We are seeing women cheat everywhere. It’s gotten out of control. Dating apps and social media have given them too many options. What we have learned is that every woman cheats when the right guy and situation comes along. It’s just a matter time. We have researched the female nature and now know what we are dealing with. We don’t want it to be this way. In my case I really want to just be in love with a woman and stay with her. It’s just not possible anymore.

  • @thilinasampath705
    @thilinasampath705 Před 12 dny +2

    you make my dopamine to hike😮

  • @sal2975
    @sal2975 Před 12 dny +2

    That sounds dope. I mean.

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar Před 11 dny

    The Offspring - Hit That

  • @kanak77779
    @kanak77779 Před 12 dny +1

    If they give glimpse if that means they also feel like us

  • @Seraphina93
    @Seraphina93 Před 12 dny +2

    Last two love interests were a completely insane dismissive-avoidant and a fearful-avoidant.
    Just kick me in the head.
    I’ll just step off until I don’t feel anything anymore.

    • @taghazoutmoon5031
      @taghazoutmoon5031 Před 10 dny

      They were only avoidant because not into you or busy with more important things

  • @startgame5033
    @startgame5033 Před 10 dny

    Gud info

  • @c.t.martin3915
    @c.t.martin3915 Před 10 dny +7

    A relationship of mine ended a few months ago - it was such a rollercoaster. During the relationship I completely lost myself and boy it completely destroyed me. Feeling better now. My advice to anyone - as the old adage says - if it's not a 'hell yea!', it's a no.
    Walk away.

    • @commecicommeca9944
      @commecicommeca9944 Před 8 dny +1

      But don't you think that a "hell ya" could be part of this dopamine addiction thing and therefore potentially dangerous - like, isn't the advice regarding that often, that we should not so much trust a "hell ya" and instead be also open for something, that might feel a bit boring instead (as to the lack of dopamine)?

    • @c.t.martin3915
      @c.t.martin3915 Před 8 dny

      @@commecicommeca9944 I believe it to mean an "of course I absolutely want to be in a relationship with you" - a measured and true feeling of commitment.

    • @c.t.martin3915
      @c.t.martin3915 Před 8 dny

      @@commecicommeca9944 What I mean by 'hell yea' is an absolute certainty, a measured commitment, to someone. A 'hell yea' is someone saying that they're sure they want to be in a relationship and being happy to be happy to be with you.

    • @commecicommeca9944
      @commecicommeca9944 Před 7 dny

      @@c.t.martin3915 alright, I can work with that. Thank you for clarifying :)

  • @noirahkaternuk3152
    @noirahkaternuk3152 Před 5 dny

    At my age and experience this is the gospel my friends ❤

  • @Dana_inc
    @Dana_inc Před 3 dny

    We all put things in our heads hopefully it can remain private! 391.

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar Před 12 dny

    Jingle Punks - Atlanta

  • @sonalinagotra9326
    @sonalinagotra9326 Před 3 dny

    I want to know that why do I struggle to love myself and focus on myself instead of always seeking love and affection from outside.

  • @Picasobaby
    @Picasobaby Před 7 dny

    Call me the mad scientist!

  • @ajitshivunplugged
    @ajitshivunplugged Před 12 dny +1

    Francesca,
    You yourself are too beautiful.
    Beautiful & wise.
    A deadly combination to give people dopamine highs. 😉

  • @Poodle_Gun
    @Poodle_Gun Před 12 dny

    What if you're obsessed with Snape in character ai?

  • @FatimaCoulibaly-qu1ie

    Dopamine

  • @TimothySmith73
    @TimothySmith73 Před 12 dny +3

    @ Gambling machine. Lol. Funny.
    @ someone more stable.
    @ Got it. So I am back to square one. Dating No one.

  • @mioyumi1354
    @mioyumi1354 Před 12 dny

    Oh the Princess of Darkness is back. I was wondering when you'd embrace the dark side again. Lol!😂 Just kidding, but really it's useful, I'm too naive, so it helps us to open our eyes. Thank you dear.♡

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar Před 11 dny

    👌👌👌

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar Před 12 dny

    🖤🖤🖤

  • @psikologiwanita788
    @psikologiwanita788 Před 9 dny

    teory

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar Před 12 dny

    👐

  • @ICHASE.
    @ICHASE. Před 10 dny

    ❤❤❤❤

  • @startgame5033
    @startgame5033 Před 10 dny

    So it's playing hard to get

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar Před 11 dny

    Aerosmith - Fly Away From Here

  • @pharaohcaesar
    @pharaohcaesar Před 12 dny +1

    Well, I think you're gorgeous and very well infirmed!😀 Thank you for sharing this information. It is very useful to me to understand the type of strategies I need to employ to keep them addicted!😂
    You know, they say women never want what they say they want because when they get what they want they end up getting bored. So now you convinced me to give them what they really want which is to constantly addicted to me!😂

  • @ICHASE.
    @ICHASE. Před 10 dny

    A girl i never dated used this strategy and now i feel awful

  • @ummumunshi8825
    @ummumunshi8825 Před 10 dny

    745th like mine!

  • @TurbulantSynider
    @TurbulantSynider Před 11 dny +1

    Borderline does it so often. Sad. But they can't help it.

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar Před 11 dny

    🏁🏁🏁

  • @sheriwl
    @sheriwl Před 5 dny

    But does this work on avoidants? Lol

  • @amitshridhar
    @amitshridhar Před 11 dny

    🪽🪽🪽

  • @hattabsleh6210
    @hattabsleh6210 Před 9 dny

    The question is.. are these people doing this deliberately ? If yes they will have a special place in hell

  • @DG123z
    @DG123z Před 7 dny

    Sex is a drug and people go through withdrawals

  • @MermanManly
    @MermanManly Před 12 dny +1

    Love your hair in this video, but please consider getting a better microphone (or cover), because the sssssibilance hurts my ears.

  • @firstsecond98
    @firstsecond98 Před 6 dny +1

    Its not useful, instead share how to train mind to come out of it

  • @michaelmich00
    @michaelmich00 Před 11 dny

    okay so just be a narcissist, easy, thanks, thats what women need

    • @sevothtartesama18
      @sevothtartesama18 Před 11 dny +3

      Mature, stable women will dump you over this. Unstable women will stick around. So pick your battle I guess.

  • @fubufb420
    @fubufb420 Před 4 dny

    Men only say theyre in LOVE to please the woman...
    😂😂😂😂