I can't believe Dissociation [in response to early Trauma at least] has been known about freely and nonchalantly from such an early time and yet so few people understand what it's like, or dismiss it because of the 'taboo' of Mental Illness.
@@aegeanbo it seems like most therapist don’t have any internal understanding as all books talk about the cognitive side and the value of cognitive behavior therapy andI don’t deal with the other emotional side. Often, I resent all the hard work I put in to getting‘professional’ help only by putting these ‘werking peoples’ children through college. Why i’ve continued to participate in this is beyond insane!!
this is how i feel its litteraly hell no earth ur basically just here in a physical form ur completely disconnected from yourself and everything around you such a distressing mental disorder
Until my wife texted me about dissociation I didn't know what it was. Or how being raped as a young boy (7 years old) and the effects it could have. Or how I've lost all my friends I used to shoot dope with and the survivors guilt I carry for getting clean and being alive. This is all coming into fruition as to who I am.
It's the neurochemistry of what Bowlby observed early as a loss reaction -- on separation, first panic and high arousal (calling, searching), then recognition of loss, flattening of activity and affect, and conservation of energies out of self-preservation. To take it back to primate roots, an infant separated from its mother can only run around calling for a short time before it attracts a predator. If that mother chimp or gibbon does not come right away, the next stage is to hunker down, get small, and save the batteries, because both protection and the food source are gone. A grief reaction in humans is virtually indistinguishable, even though it adds self, other, emotional attachment . . .
The first time that dissociation ever happened to me is when I was around 7 years old, it has not stopped since that age and I’m 22 years old now. I remember the first time it happened because it was definitely the most intense feeling since it was my first time experiencing it. I was in girl scouts and everyone was doing something but I can’t remember exactly what, I remember it being louder than usual and feeling like I was in the way back of the room and everyone seemed so blurry, everything was foggy and I thought I was in a dream. I thought I was gonna wake up from the dream at any moment but I didn’t, so I ended up assuming this was a normal thing that happened to anyone. Since I didn’t understand it, I’d always ask my friends when I was younger, “don’t you guys feel like you’re dreaming right now too?” and they’d always just look at me confused or say no. I was so confused how they didn’t feel it bc I thought that there was no way that they didn’t understand what I meant. Years later I realized it wasn’t a normal thing, probably around the age of 15. But anyway, after the girl scouts incident, I went in and out of it probably three more times until I’d be sucked into it completely until right in this moment. The 3 instances were times where I’d be triggered momentarily, and my eyes would go blurry, and then I’d be back into looking at life through a foggy glass (I still don’t know if I was forcing that blur or if my brain was doing that itself). I go to therapy but nothing helps. It’s not the same for everyone, therapy can help you but for me personally, I feel so far gone that grounding techniques won’t even work because I’m barely even in reality if that makes any sense. And for some reason, those techniques make me way more anxious and panicked. I don’t even have my license because my mom knows that I’d most likely crash because I’ll get too anxious on the road and dissociation will get worse, and I agree with her. I know that my brain does it to keep me safe but I’m really really sick of it. I want to know what life feels like, I wanna feel real on drives and I wanna feel real when I go outside. I love looking at pictures of nature but I can’t even enjoy it when I’m out there, it feels like nothing. I can’t feel life and it sucks. I really truly can’t remember what reality and life feel like bc I’ve been in a dream since I was 7. That might sound fun to some people but it’s not. It’s not a fun dream-like fantasy. It’s like being sucked out of the world and watching everyone enjoy something you can’t feel through a foggy/blurry bubble. It sucks being surrounded by people who know what life feels like and can enjoy it while I’m there trying to understand what they’re feeling, and trying to force myself to experience when they’re experiencing. It doesn’t even stop when I’m in my safe space in my bed, I am always feeling like I’m not here. I’d be so much happier if it happened a couple times out of my day rather than this because it’s hell. I don’t know how to help myself. Ive been in therapy for an extremely long time and went to a treatment center for two years in a whole different state from 2016-2018. We were basically forced to ground because all we did was hike every day and do activities, & go to school. Even then I could not stop dissociating. I’m so tired. People around me think I’m just lazy but I am depressed, anxious, and dealing with dissociation which makes me not understand the severity of where my reality is at. Right now I can understand it, I still live at home, I have not worked since 2018, I’m 22 years old and don’t have a license or a car. I haven’t gone to college and don’t care to even get an education. Every last one of those things which are so important feel like nothing to me. Not because it is nothing, only bc I seriously can’t understand the importance of it. My brain doesn’t go there. Sometimes I still feel like I’m 12 years old. I really don’t know what to do anymore. At the same time, I don’t know if I ever would be ready to stop dissociating because what if I can’t handle reality? I have no idea if that’ll even be too much for me since it’ll be a completely new sensation. Something I literally have no memory of whatsoever.
Hello there, I hope you are having a good +blessed day! I😊There is Always hope- Please I urge you to look into the Vagus nerve/vagal tone as there is a direct connection to a poor Vagal tone and mental illness. Caring medical on youtube is a good place to start! I pray that God gives you healing and to give you a second chance in life!! 🙏💯
I'm so sorry. I have absolutely no background in anything to do with the brain/mind, so take this question for what you think it's worth--could it be neurological rather than psychological? Also, have you ever read any of Dr. Peter Levine or Bessel van der Kolk's work on completing stress responses and how the body stores trauma? I hope you find a path through this.
You're not alone. I'm 24yo and kinda dealing with the same thing :/ In fact, It was really strange to read your history because It is so familiar... Wish you well and hope It gets better for both of us.
You’re not alone. You explained my entire situation perfectly. I have been dissociating since I was 12 and it’s been constant ever since. Morning and night all the time I experience it as well. I’m 20 now and have been doing therapy for 8 years and nothing has helped it. I feel your pain and I hear you. This is such a horrible way to live.
@@ChantalM3 I experience the same reality. I’ve been trying to get a MRI done but it’s very difficult to get one. Explaining the symptoms of dissociation to doctors they don’t find it compelling to call in an MRI…
First time disassociating I was 9-10 and my mom kept me home from school while my three younger sisters went to school. She and my stepdad spent 4 hours verbally abusing me to the point I just shut off and looked past them and waited until they were exhausted of degrading me. I was taken to school afterwards and I’m not sure how I was able to function. As I got older I struggled in school and was extremely confused why I wasn’t doing as well as I used to.
I've been hospitalized several times with suicidal ideation, but in the last few years those episodes have diminished. I used to disassociate when under stress but those episodes seem to have stopped, with the last episode over a year ago. It was an unexpected divorce after 39 years of marriage with a great deal of juvenile abuse that was diagnosed as severe PTSD.
TH U Mr. Schore for your words on this subject, it was something I needed to hear today, your words were put together better than many who speak on this .
I suggest you go back to Bowlby and attachment theory, the third of his three books in that trilogy, " Loss." I love Schore himself on the neurobiology, but it's hard to get through, and you do need to know some neoroscience. What Schore is talking about here is attachment and loss, in large measure. Bowlby, bless him, saw the sheer animal physicality of the human loss reaction in the British war orphans he developed his theory on.
Im having trouble feeling my body and coming back to it has been quite an ordeal without help. Right now Im practicing feeling my eyes. There was a point where I tried to feel my eyes but they were cramped and like screaming in pain. Its weird to not know how they feel. Or how to relax them naturally. It makes meditation practices virtually impossible.
@@julinaonYT I've done it six times now and I would say no, not exactly. It will bring you closer to whatever your truth is, whatever lurks in the furthest parts of your mind. It will help you explore yourself.
I can't believe Dissociation [in response to early Trauma at least] has been known about freely and nonchalantly from such an early time and yet so few people understand what it's like, or dismiss it because of the 'taboo' of Mental Illness.
agree
Denial is a common form of defense, by therapists too.
I have heard so many colleagues say, "I don't want to go there."
@@aegeanbo it seems like most therapist don’t have any internal understanding as all books talk about the cognitive side and the value of cognitive behavior therapy andI don’t deal with the other emotional side. Often, I resent all the hard work I put in to getting‘professional’ help only by putting these ‘werking peoples’ children through college. Why i’ve continued to participate in this is beyond insane!!
this is how i feel its litteraly hell no earth ur basically just here in a physical form ur completely disconnected from yourself and everything around you such a distressing mental disorder
Agreed. It’s not worth living anymore like this. I’m not myself anymore.
@@donnapatrick1804 please dont say that to yourself, healing is possible. And it can really help you.
Until my wife texted me about dissociation I didn't know what it was. Or how being raped as a young boy (7 years old) and the effects it could have. Or how I've lost all my friends I used to shoot dope with and the survivors guilt I carry for getting clean and being alive. This is all coming into fruition as to who I am.
hello nice to meet u , reply
respect could talk to u
@@immykhan4144 leave him alone
@@immykhan4144 if you want to ask someone a question, that's not how you do it.
It's the neurochemistry of what Bowlby observed early as a loss reaction -- on separation, first panic and high arousal (calling, searching), then recognition of loss, flattening of activity and affect, and conservation of energies out of self-preservation. To take it back to primate roots, an infant separated from its mother can only run around calling for a short time before it attracts a predator. If that mother chimp or gibbon does not come right away, the next stage is to hunker down, get small, and save the batteries, because both protection and the food source are gone. A grief reaction in humans is virtually indistinguishable, even though it adds self, other, emotional attachment . . .
Please if you can recommend me some texts on this I would be massively grateful
See my new post.
The first time that dissociation ever happened to me is when I was around 7 years old, it has not stopped since that age and I’m 22 years old now. I remember the first time it happened because it was definitely the most intense feeling since it was my first time experiencing it. I was in girl scouts and everyone was doing something but I can’t remember exactly what, I remember it being louder than usual and feeling like I was in the way back of the room and everyone seemed so blurry, everything was foggy and I thought I was in a dream. I thought I was gonna wake up from the dream at any moment but I didn’t, so I ended up assuming this was a normal thing that happened to anyone. Since I didn’t understand it, I’d always ask my friends when I was younger, “don’t you guys feel like you’re dreaming right now too?” and they’d always just look at me confused or say no. I was so confused how they didn’t feel it bc I thought that there was no way that they didn’t understand what I meant. Years later I realized it wasn’t a normal thing, probably around the age of 15. But anyway, after the girl scouts incident, I went in and out of it probably three more times until I’d be sucked into it completely until right in this moment. The 3 instances were times where I’d be triggered momentarily, and my eyes would go blurry, and then I’d be back into looking at life through a foggy glass (I still don’t know if I was forcing that blur or if my brain was doing that itself). I go to therapy but nothing helps. It’s not the same for everyone, therapy can help you but for me personally, I feel so far gone that grounding techniques won’t even work because I’m barely even in reality if that makes any sense. And for some reason, those techniques make me way more anxious and panicked. I don’t even have my license because my mom knows that I’d most likely crash because I’ll get too anxious on the road and dissociation will get worse, and I agree with her. I know that my brain does it to keep me safe but I’m really really sick of it. I want to know what life feels like, I wanna feel real on drives and I wanna feel real when I go outside. I love looking at pictures of nature but I can’t even enjoy it when I’m out there, it feels like nothing. I can’t feel life and it sucks. I really truly can’t remember what reality and life feel like bc I’ve been in a dream since I was 7. That might sound fun to some people but it’s not. It’s not a fun dream-like fantasy. It’s like being sucked out of the world and watching everyone enjoy something you can’t feel through a foggy/blurry bubble. It sucks being surrounded by people who know what life feels like and can enjoy it while I’m there trying to understand what they’re feeling, and trying to force myself to experience when they’re experiencing. It doesn’t even stop when I’m in my safe space in my bed, I am always feeling like I’m not here. I’d be so much happier if it happened a couple times out of my day rather than this because it’s hell. I don’t know how to help myself. Ive been in therapy for an extremely long time and went to a treatment center for two years in a whole different state from 2016-2018. We were basically forced to ground because all we did was hike every day and do activities, & go to school. Even then I could not stop dissociating. I’m so tired. People around me think I’m just lazy but I am depressed, anxious, and dealing with dissociation which makes me not understand the severity of where my reality is at. Right now I can understand it, I still live at home, I have not worked since 2018, I’m 22 years old and don’t have a license or a car. I haven’t gone to college and don’t care to even get an education. Every last one of those things which are so important feel like nothing to me. Not because it is nothing, only bc I seriously can’t understand the importance of it. My brain doesn’t go there. Sometimes I still feel like I’m 12 years old. I really don’t know what to do anymore. At the same time, I don’t know if I ever would be ready to stop dissociating because what if I can’t handle reality? I have no idea if that’ll even be too much for me since it’ll be a completely new sensation. Something I literally have no memory of whatsoever.
Hello there, I hope you are having a good +blessed day! I😊There is Always hope- Please I urge you to look into the Vagus nerve/vagal tone as there is a direct connection to a poor Vagal tone and mental illness. Caring medical on youtube is a good place to start! I pray that God gives you healing and to give you a second chance in life!! 🙏💯
I'm so sorry. I have absolutely no background in anything to do with the brain/mind, so take this question for what you think it's worth--could it be neurological rather than psychological? Also, have you ever read any of Dr. Peter Levine or Bessel van der Kolk's work on completing stress responses and how the body stores trauma? I hope you find a path through this.
You're not alone. I'm 24yo and kinda dealing with the same thing :/ In fact, It was really strange to read your history because It is so familiar... Wish you well and hope It gets better for both of us.
You’re not alone. You explained my entire situation perfectly. I have been dissociating since I was 12 and it’s been constant ever since. Morning and night all the time I experience it as well. I’m 20 now and have been doing therapy for 8 years and nothing has helped it. I feel your pain and I hear you. This is such a horrible way to live.
@@ChantalM3 I experience the same reality. I’ve been trying to get a MRI done but it’s very difficult to get one. Explaining the symptoms of dissociation to doctors they don’t find it compelling to call in an MRI…
this is hard to listen to, but it makes sense.
Agree painfull
First time disassociating I was 9-10 and my mom kept me home from school while my three younger sisters went to school. She and my stepdad spent 4 hours verbally abusing me to the point I just shut off and looked past them and waited until they were exhausted of degrading me. I was taken to school afterwards and I’m not sure how I was able to function. As I got older I struggled in school and was extremely confused why I wasn’t doing as well as I used to.
I've been hospitalized several times with suicidal ideation, but in the last few years those episodes have diminished. I used to disassociate when under stress but those episodes seem to have stopped, with the last episode over a year ago. It was an unexpected divorce after 39 years of marriage with a great deal of juvenile abuse that was diagnosed as severe PTSD.
Khadijah Brown
What helped you overcome it? I'm having the same struggles and at a loss for what to do
What do you mean when you say you used to do dissociate? Happy you feel better.
TH U Mr. Schore for your words on this subject, it was something I needed to hear today, your words were put together better than many who speak on this .
I suggest you go back to Bowlby and attachment theory, the third of his three books in that trilogy, " Loss." I love Schore himself on the neurobiology, but it's hard to get through, and you do need to know some neoroscience. What Schore is talking about here is attachment and loss, in large measure. Bowlby, bless him, saw the sheer animal physicality of the human loss reaction in the British war orphans he developed his theory on.
Never heard this defined so accurately!🔥
He explains the process very well I like science
very good video
What is the difference between acting "as if" compared to disassociation?
It must be complicated
Im having trouble feeling my body and coming back to it has been quite an ordeal without help.
Right now Im practicing feeling my eyes.
There was a point where I tried to feel my eyes but they were cramped and like screaming in pain.
Its weird to not know how they feel. Or how to relax them naturally.
It makes meditation practices virtually impossible.
Ayahuasca brought me here
Did it give you dissociation?
Daimo... did you experience dissociation after Ayahuasca?
@@leonaswift3834 😂😂
@@Romans15-13 what lol
@@julinaonYT I've done it six times now and I would say no, not exactly. It will bring you closer to whatever your truth is, whatever lurks in the furthest parts of your mind. It will help you explore yourself.