Christianity stole my autonomy, voice, and joy ... but I fought hard to get them back - Jesse
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- čas přidán 11. 07. 2024
- T/W - brief discussion of domestic violence, child abuse, and suicide ideation
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Today I spoke with Jesse, who grew up in a Christian environment and placed her faith in Jesus early in life, but fully deconverted as the truth claims of Christianity fell apart.
We touched on many topics, including:
• Growing up in a home where access to information was strictly controlled and any questions were seen as a challenge to authority and their ideological purity.
• Seeing punishments and physical abuse being widely advocated in Christian homeschool circles, in addition to the goals of indoctrinating, sheltering, demanding instant obedience, breaking a child's will, and seeing a child as depraved and sinful in their every impulse -- instead of understanding normal child development.
• Being forced to take on the role of a mother and parent for the younger siblings due to parental neglect and irresponsibility.
• Hearing lots of indoctrination messages in childhood through Christian radio.
• Feeling like she had no choice but to accept Jesus as her Savior, due to the family pressure and the threat of hell.
• Observing, even as a child, the difference between the harsh Jesus portrayed in the Bible versus the loving "Sunday school" Jesus.
• Feeling like her relationship with the Yahweh character was a rollercoaster, where some days she felt close to him, and some days she didn't, and there didn't seem to be a path forward to fix that dynamic.
• Becoming a perfectionist because the punishment for disobedience and mistakes was extensive violent physical abuse.
• Going numb as a teenager due to years of walking on eggshells and facing long-term emotional neglect.
• Feeling selfish and worthless the first time she made decisions that were truly focused on what she wanted.
• Finding more safety in a 12-step program than she'd ever found in church.
• Beginning to move past co-dependency with her parents and regaining her autonomy, and ultimately being able to do the same thing with the character of god.
• Learning to "adopt" and "reparent" herself as she began to heal from her childhood trauma and anxiety.
• The importance of creating a safe place for us to think through our worldview changes, reclaim our identities, and begin to heal.
Many thanks to Jesse for sharing her story!
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Check out Recovering from Religion:
www.recoveringfromreligion.org/
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--Tim
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Ending music by Eyal Raz, "Friends"
• Friends
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The deeper you go into Christianity the more damage it does to the psyche. So many sweet people like this girl have been ruined by these lies. Help these people out of this nightmare. Thanks Tim you're doing society a great service .
What an apt description of God's role in her family: "God is our alcoholic. He's the one that we tiptoe around...He's the one that we make excuses for...why He's not functioning....why He's not pulling His weight. " He was "the alcoholic" in many of our lives.
She sounds like a self-absorbed nutcase. Sad but nothing to do with Christianity.
@@TBOTSS
Maybe someday you'll free yourself, and see just how destructive this crap is.
@@YY4Me133 Religious people have better mental health than atheists, live longer, tend to be healthier and report higher levels of well-being, give more time and money to charity, form more stable relationships. What is your point.
You are brave to speak for the THOUSANDS of us who suffer in SILENCE. We are censored cowards. Bowing to the ignorance of others.
Thank you Jesse. I believe I am safe to say, you mean a lot to all of us here in the comment section. You are a breath of fresh air and have a tender character that is not often seen.
I am amazed at some of these interviewees on Harmonic Atheist, like Jesse, who have had the incredible courage and strength to get out of these horrendous abusive childhoods. How do they do it? What super strong people they are. Tim and Jesse and others are doing such great work in helping so many people whether they realize it or not.
We here at Recovering from Religion are thrilled to have Jesse hosting the Winston/Salem RfR support group. Thanks so much for featuring her and for letting your viewers know about our services.:)
Jesse, take a bow. What an incredible and brave journey you went on and continue to be on. And that first boss you had, what an amazing woman. Three cheers to your older sister as well as your adopted parents.
I felt, on listening to you describe your upbringing that there was a lot of hesitancy in your voice that was not there as much when you got on to describing your life after having left your family. It made me realise just how much that past has hurt you.
Keep on fighting against that upbringing and the scars it left on you.
I had a good upbringing but it was hell (and the unpardonable sin) that played a pivotal role in my loss of faith around the age of 20.
Heh, I am currently undergoing training at RfR. But I am an old fellow (73) and am not learning as well as I once could learn. At the moment, my head is going round and round and round. But I am sorting through it.😆
Tim, I know what ya mean. I have a sister and a brother roughly my age and a kid brother about 12 years younger. Mum was 40 I think, when she gave birth to him. By the time he became a teenager so much had changed. We older siblings sometimes comment on the things he got away with. It's amazing to behold. I think in part, my parents were much older and thus more weary when he came along. That also operated in his favour.
Jesse, may you heal completely. We all have our own path to clarity.
Will be thinking of you and the good work you do.
Thank you for your story.
Also thank you Tim.
Watched many interviews here, 1st comment.
Jesse is a brave, vulnerable, beautiful young lady.
Very touching story. Wish J nothing but the best going forward.
Tim, well done.
My heart goes out to Jesse. There was this great Air Force pilot who said, "we must challenge all assumptions. Because what becomes doctrine on day one, becomes dogma forever". Sadly, children aren't developed and are subject to the dogma of their parents.
Jesse, I so much appreciate you sharing your story. To open yourself up like this is very brave, but I believe this video is going to help many. I see some of what you talk about in me, realizing a lot of who I am now is a product of my past, and I've got to think about that. Thank you.
I believe I met her at a recovering from religion conference last year. Wish i'd gotten to hear more of her story. So many people damaged by toxic christianity.
What a story! I can hear the pain in your voice and see it on your face. I am so sorry that you had to endure that for so long. I hope you can eventually heal completely. Peace.
Hi Jessie.
Wow, you've come a long way.
And you've made good choices, such as finding ways to move forward and distancing yourself from abusive parents. Plenty of us know how difficult that can be.
Stick to your position. Abusive parents rarely change and if they ever do you'll know it clear as day.
No child ( no one) deserves the violence , ugliness, and confusion that abusive parents bring into a child's life.
Being raised in a high control, high demand family can lead to the state that if you're not serving others you're instead being selfish. You're not being selfish what you're doing is taking the initiative to heal. ❤
So glad you fought and found your way out of such a deep maze of chaos and confusion.
Thank you for sharing your story !
Jessi- thank you so much for sharing so vulnerably….your message spoke deeply to me both as a child and as a mother
Wow wow wow! This interview touched my heart. Jesse is a beautiful person who is taking such good care of herself. I'm amazed and touched by her story, and I know it will help many people. Another wonderful interview, Tim. Great job and keep up the good work. Thank you both!
This was the most heart-wrenching video of Tim's that I have seen so far. Thank you both. Jesse, I wish you peace and happiness. 💖
I love this smart, brave woman! Her story breaks my heart & I’m so glad she’s sharing her story.
She is totally right about the calming demeanor and sensitive reasonableness approach this channel has. The only skeptic channel I listen to is this channel, mind shift channel, and PineCreek channel.
There are several good channels in this domain (and may they all do well and grow faster than the alternative), but Tim's channel is my favorite because his guests are super, the conversations are long, and he is so kind and sparkly 💖🎇!
Agree!
Jesse is a lovely person and I am so glad she escaped the horrific teachings of fear and punishment and has been able to find love for herself and a desire to help others! Great work! Thank you Tim for all your kindness and compassion as well!
Thanks for sharing your “GOOD NEWS!” Not because you MUST, but because you ❤️ TRUTH and ❤️ others.
Jesse,your story broke my heart. May you continue to heal,snd bring your story to others who have been damaged.
Tim, thank you, as always.
Jesse, It really struck a chord in me when you shared that you felt "robbed" of a good portion of your life. Also, i appreciate how you chose to "adopt" and love yourself. I'm in the process of learning to love myself. In the past, I was taught that JOY stood for Jesus, Others, and lastly yourself. Now, I'm searching for true joy. Where can true joy be found? Thanks. ❤
You are an amazing, strong, wonderful, worthwhile person. Thank you for telling your story. Hope you have a beautiful, rest of your life.
1:29. "the biggest loss was that this life was so devalued.....this was just a waiting room." I hate that also. We sacrificed everything here and now... for the (false) promise of the Great Beyond. 😖 Now we are free and can embrace our humanity and this life right now 💖
This is really sad😢 and happy 😅😂 story.
But l am happy that she is who she is today a free woman from all that shit💩
And the way she cut off herself from her father and mother not permanent but distance yourself from them😂 they almost destroy this woman😢
This was a great interview. My heart goes out to Jesse, she really has dealt with a lot. I’m glad she shared her story. Tim you ask great questions and give good feedback. I love this channel.
Wishing you all good things, Jesse! Tim is right, you are extraordinary and strong. Thank you for your voice.
This is great! You’re great! Jesse you’re great! Tim you’re great! Thank you! 😊 Keep talking!
Thanks for your support, Derek!!
You are so brave Jesse. I wish you all the best xx
I totally relate when she says she started exploring other religions in the hope of finding a less tyrannical god. I never thought I'd opt to be agnostic
Great interview 🫶
“God is our ALCOHOLIC. He’s the one we make excuses for why he’s not functioning the way he should” 😂👏 💜💕💖💃🏻
Thanks!
Thank you so much!!
Great interview
Tim, can you make edited down versions of these videos. Like edit then down to 30minutes. I know this will leave a lot out but I think it would be a good exercise for you and it would make them a lot more watchable for more people. If you need to you can always add context or paraphrase between clips from the interview.
It may be an option someday if I can hire help, but at the moment I don't have nearly enough time to get done what I'm already committed to and planning for. One option is to play the interviews at a faster speed. I know that's not the same, but it might help a bit for some of them.
I will love you, please dont hurt me😢
well done
🫶
Hello again😊
@@carletharochelle2362 hello Carletha it’s always nice running into A friend 💛
Tim sounds like he’s trying to reconvert the lost at times with his questions and the way he frames them …..
I love the term "spiritual OCD"
These transitions sounds depressing, lonely and sad! It doesn’t feel like happiness and contentment exist. Anyway I hope the best for Jesse!
Any time someone recovers from severe lies and trauma, there is a hard journey, but definitely worth it. Almost everyone I interview talks about how they have much more peace once they escaped Christianity.
@@HarmonicAtheist Do you believe in any source of creation? I’m new to this platform.