Christianity is about power, control, abuse, and covering for the abusers - Sarah Caton
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- čas přidán 1. 08. 2024
- Today I spoke with Sarah Caton, who grew up as a pastor's daughter and placed her faith in Jesus at an early age, but ultimately deconverted as the truth claims of Christianity fell apart.
We touched on many topics, including:
• Growing up the daughter of parents who were focused on pastoring and missions who were focused on planting Baptist churches in Mormon areas.
• Becoming a very devout Christian from a very young age.
• Living in constant fear of the Rapture occurring and Jesus taking everyone in her family except her to heaven.
• Feeling intense pressure to be a "model Christian" in a "model Christian family."
• Starting in childhood, leading others to the Gospel message of salvation through Jesus.
• Constantly talking and praying to god, but never feeling any response from him.
• Being steeped and groomed in patriarchy to the point that she regretted being a woman due the need to submit and relinquish her power and rights.
• Within purity culture, having her body and normal desires demonized, and effectively being asked to deny her humanness.
• Seeing hypocrisy in the pulpit as she heard pastors preach about loving everyone but then later on telling racist and sexist jokes.
• Facing inconsistencies and issues in the Bible but finding ways to temporarily push aside the cognitive dissonance.
• Realizing, as Christians, that our faith was being sustained in large part by mental gymnastics and the overarching fear of death.
• Seeing the ways that Christianity turns people into moral monsters as they would be willing to sacrifice or kill their own children for the sake and commands of Yahweh.
• Being cut off from her parents and "turned over to her sin" when she deconverted from Christianity.
• Needing to stay away from most of her family due to the severe trauma and further indoctrination they were intent on inflicting on her.
• Reclaiming her identity and self-worth and starting to heal from severe religious trauma after deconverting from Christianity.
Many thanks to Sarah for writing her book and sharing her story with us today!
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Connect with Sarah!
Sarah's book, "Deconstructing: Memoir of a Preacher's Daughter"
www.amazon.com/Deconstructing...
/ deconstructingmemoir
Sarah's YT channel:
/ @sarahcatonmusic
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Or by email at: harmonicatheist@yahoo.com
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--Tim
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Omg, Tim. My wife was complaining that I'd given up trying to break generational curses after deconversion and I literally told her no, I'm more focused than ever on breaking generational curses, and the most damaging one is Christianity.
Doesn't matter the race color or creed...everyone in the world has been a victim of "Generational Ignorance". We're talkn' generation after generation after generation...and each generation became more ignorant than the last. Today we see the results of this "Generational Ignorance" and that's okay because people all over the world are waking up daily. Religion soon will be a thought of the past. Whew.
Surely deconversion means also the abandoning of ridiculous superstitions such as curses, spirits, angels, and the existence of Satans.
@planmet I don't think Chrisianity Is a literal curse, but it is harmful. I was just speaking in the language a believer would use.
@@planmet absolutely!
@tonymiller3788 congratulations on freeing your (future or canine or feline) children from the curse of theism.
I was an atheist since I recognized at age 5 that religion was lying to everyone, but sadly my own son was stolen from me on the day he was born thrn sold to be raised Christian by adopted parents, against my will & in voilation of my civil rights by a criminal adoption agemcy named the Los Angeles Children's Bureau which stole 9000 other children as well in 2011. In the subsequent 12 years, the Children's Bureau has grown rapidly in scope, scale, and political power, now called Federal Children's Bureau. I have a hard drive full off research about the links between state-government enforced monopoly "Foster Family Agencies" and Christian Nationalist organizations.
One of THE most concise interviews! Thank you Sarah!
Thank you Tim!
I’m 72 and have been deconstructing almost all my life! My problem was I always went to other ‘Christians’, Pastors and the ‘buy-bull’ for my answers! I finally honored and trusted myself and as like divorcing my horribly abusive ex…I’m finally out of the ‘box’ and free!
💜🎉
Kudos to you! 😊
I love that "buy bull"
I was a christian from ages 11 to 29, and, as he commanded us to do, beat my brains out trying to win souls for christ. In high school there were students I KNEW were not saved because they did not go to church and they used profanity. I would walk up to them, tell them they needed to know christ, sometimes quote Bible verses, recommend specific Bible verses for them to read, and would invite them to attend church with me. I received nothing but glazed stares. I went home and spent hours praying that god would let them see the light. Didn't see any results from that.
I don't see that a single person I witnessed to or prayed for ever responded by attending a church service or cracking a Bible; let alone did I see that I ever converted anyone. In the NT, all the apostles had to do is walk up to a nonbeliever, say a few words about god, and they immediately became believers. In my community there were plenty of christians around that did all the things christians do--except, though they constantly preached the great commission in church, I never saw a single one of them try to convert nonbelievers outside of formal church services. I was totally confused, frustrated, and dumbfounded for years. I feverishly read the Bible and prayed to god to reveal to me what I was doing incorrectly. No answer.
I de-converted more than 40 years ago. In retrospect I am grateful that seemingly no one ever converted as a result of my witnessing, but have lingering fears of guilt that some of the people I witnessed to, unbeknownst to me, may have, in fact, converted, and thus set out on the same destructive path that christianity was for me. I also regret all those years of my life that were wasted on christianity.
You did what you believed was right at the time. You were trying not to be a hypocrite. I’m glad for you that you were brought out of that. The ones you may have influenced will have other influences in their lives too. Try not to worry about them!
We humans are weird! I’m happy you were able to gain agency over your own thoughts. I was raised Catholic but never got in too deep. There were moments, but they never lasted long. Most of my relatives are devout. I don’t communicate with them not wanting to burst their bubble. My wife is Filipino, she is deep into it. We just returned from the Philippines two days ago. Their culture is deeply immersed in it, literally everywhere you look, jeepneys,malls, clothing etc. I can understand it may not even occur to them to not be part of the church.
I’m 62 and was a believer in Bible god for over 55 years so I can say it’s never too late to get out. It is traumatic . I wasn’t looking to get out it was a process that was occurring without me knowing. I was learning and growing and could no longer be stupid.
Hi Tim! I love your videos, I have been watching them for a few months now and I find myself in a lot of them.
I left the seventh day Adventist church about two years ago, and I’m still deconstructing from Christianity. I now consider myself an atheist.
Thanks for sharing. Feel free to reach out if you think you'd ever want to consider an interview.
facebook.com/harmonictim
We MUST begin holding religions responsible for all their abuse!!!
You hit the nail on the head. Jesus Christ, i believe did not establish any religion. His Church are the followers, that believe and have their Faith only in Him. I left the roman catholic religion many years ago. Jesus said, "the sheep know my voice"
Follow Him, our shepherd and no one else. If your minister or priest is a wolf leave.
Return to the flock that belongs to Christ.
You will know His voice. Keep to the Word. Read the Holy Bible yourselves and Peter was never a pope, it's not in the Bible, and man made up. study the roman religion's history.
@@cvagresto You are complicit in the abuse, by condoning the doctrine.
I was part of a church community at a Baptist Church in Melbourne Australia
It was a community Church where most people lived within very close proximity to each other
This was great at first but it soon became suffocating
We were taught that we were better than all other Baptist churches
We were better than other denominations especially Anglicans who weren't real Christians
A lot of time was spent hero worshipping ourselves
After 14 years of being at that church, I joined an Anglican church and found that not only were they real Christians but nice normal people
It took me years to recover from all the abuse at the Baptist church and even longer to recover from Christianity in general
These videos help me so much and it is great to know that I am not the only one who had all the same thoughts and experiences
As a fellow Melburnian, I understand.
Thank you for hosting these interviews and sharing everyones' stories of deconstruction.
Hi Tim, I love all your videos and hope you find a solution to your family situation soon.
Early on she mentions ,
" SOME denominations are cults"
An idea expressed by a number of Tim's interviewees.
It seems to me that ANY denomination using the bible as their supreme guide book will undoubtedly have cult aspects
in their community.
Cults are about control. But not all to the same degree.
The basics of Christianity does appear cultish, because it says if you lose faith in our doctrine you will forever be damned to an eternity of painful suffering and misery.
Which is psychological manipulation via fear inducing fantasy narratives.
And how is the alter call for people to become "saved" not a cult tactic of mental and emotional manipulation ?
The focus on somones so called sinful wicked shameful immoral past. Even if you're 8 yrs old.
And how is pushing ideology onto children when combined with its psychological coercion of hell not cultish ?
Or presenting a kind peaceful Jesus for the newbies and only afterward getting to know the aggressive murderous jealous Yahweh. How is that not a bait and switch tactic ?
Or telling followers theres an invisible Lord who can hear all your thoughts, so you better avoid any bad thoughts at all costs. Or youre not truly faithful.
How is that not an aspect of cult mind control ?
And thats just the tip
of the iceberg of Christianity's cultish aspects of manipulation and mind control .
Well Christianity itself is a cult that Apostle Paul started as an offshoot of Judaism.
Great interview! The topics of deconstruction and very relevant and resonating with me. I am exmormon, and hearing your stories does good. Keep it up!
1:38:38
Yes we are CHEERING you on !
You Sarah.
You Tim.
And everyone else
who is striving to be free of religious mind manipulation.
Yay
Thank you for cheering us on. Your comment made my day. It is so hard deconstructing in a fundamentalist family. Thank you for lifting me up.
Christianity replaced Judaism after the Jewish Temple was destroyed twice, first by the Babylonians and later by the Romans. The Jews always wanted a messiah to save them from their enemies and lead them to victory, so the Jewish priests set to work writing a story about a savior figure who had come to save first the Jews and in later rewrites, all of mankind.
The story was intended to offer hope only to the defeated Jews but ultimately became a tool for the ruling class to achieve wealth and power over the believing masses.
It's interesting that after decades attending a fundamentalist Evangelical church, they never really give people the backstory/greater context.
Excellent summary. Do you believe Apostle Paul was a spy of the Romans?
And today the white supremacist fueled Zionist project is committing gen o "side" and we are complicit.
Absolutely 💯...
And don't forget, every Jewish King of past were all considered a "messiah".
I wish more fundie women were as headstrong and brave as Sarah - desiring agency over their own life and not letting the misogynistic indoctrination rob them of their entire worth. Great interview.
Good to hear Sarah's story, and such a good job interviewing, Tim. Thank you.
When I was figuring out that I could not continue to believe in an unloving God, there was no one at all to talk to about it. I almost feel a little envious of all the support that exists now. --- Not really, though. I'm glad things are improving. I just wish I could have had something like that back then.
I'm glad you're creating space for so many people to share their stories.
Check out the book Philosophers Without Gods
Good stuff, Sarah and Tim! Great that you took your life back from toxic Christianity and abusive relationships. You are smart and strong woman, Sarah and I applaud you. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽It’s so great we have a lot more online support groups for us who have deconstructed and deconverted compared to when I finally pulled the plug on religion in 2015.
Yay
Congratulations on your book and free thought testimony, Sarah! This year I am celebrating the 30th anniversary of my own unshackling from theism … and it renews my own joy and sense of liberation each time I hear the testimony of a more recent escapee. Best to you and Tim for the work you both are doing in promoting rationalism, skepticism and clear thinking as the best methods of human navigation in an increasingly irrational world!
Yay
50:35 This was really interesting and resonated, because I grew up in a non religious home where I didn't get much about religions other than from a few people here and there as I was growing up. Obviously I'd heard of Christianity and Jesus. I knew the core basics, but when I read the bible at about 17 I wondered if I was reading the right book. 40 years and hundreds of conversations with Christians and Jews for that matter later, and I still wonder if they're reading the same book.
Good conversation. I’m glad Sarah had, at least, her brother with whom she could discuss things honestly with when growing up. It would be terrible to have to hold all those doubts inside and not be able to share them with someone.
Hi Tim and Sarah, thank you for telling us about your life journeys..
I'm so happy you're here Tim🌹
And now I'm listening to the whole video. Excellent interview...it must have been so hard with lots of pressure being a pastor's kid... I'm glad I wasn't one. Thanks Sarah & Tim! 🌹
It was kind of scary when I realised that a lot of the experiences we think we are having are just mind over matter
I went to a healing service in the dying days of my belief in Christianity
I was put on the spot and asked to lay my hands on someone and silently pray for them
I felt nothing. I sensed nothing. As much as I tried, I couldn't pray for him.
I was dead inside.
I had no choice but to just go through the motions.
I felt like a terrible fraud.
However......
The man I was praying for was overwhelmed with emotion.
He told me that he had a powerful experience of God's power.
But he just imagined it.
Another time, many years before that, I was on the opposite side of the fence.
I had what I thought was a powerful experience when an elderly man layhands on me and prayed for me.
I had a profound powerful experience that was shattered when the man admitted to me that he had trouble staying awake while he was praying for me
When closely scrutinized Christianitys healing aspect
(Or any religious healing )
appears to entirely be placebo.
High expectations with high emotions can at times create
this biological effect.
Which is now well known enough that now medical research has to factor in it's possibility
This was an excellent listen and so relatable on so many levels 😢
Thank you Sarah for your experience and your share was so helpful putting words to my experience too.
As a pastor’s daughter myself and only 1 year out with lifelong being a door mat, people pleaser!
I need therapy/counselling ASAP 😅😢😅😢
Not like a slave relationship, it literally is a slave relationship according to 1 Peter. Chapter two goes on about slaves and masters, and chapter 3 starts with "Likewise" (RSV) and tells how wives are to submit, even if the husband isn't a believer (doesn't obey the word).
When you ask about when you felt peace, I was like,”Oh yes, when I allowed myself to accept the fact that religion is man made and the bible is man’s written agenda, to be used for their own purposes”.
There are many clergy of many different religions who no longer believe but who are just going through the motions
It is one thing for someone who is young single and has no children to cut their losses, leave their ministry and pursue another career
But it is another thing entirely for someone who is older, married, has children and whose whole life has been wrapped up in the church
They have very little choice but to continue on until they retire, are able to retrain or find another job
I really feel for them
Thanks, Tim. I get a lot out of these interviews.
Thank you Sarah for sharing your story!
Great interview! Love the way you host Tim, great questions and appropriate interjection from your own experiences.
Sarah says: "Either God's an asshole or God doesn't exist. There's no in between." Yup. And believing that Jesus cares about you finding a parking spot while 3.1 million children starve to death every year is the ultimate arrogance.
What a beautiful story Sarah! The pain of estrangement is so sharp! Good for you for finding your way out, and giving your children something better.
"Either God is an ass-hole - or he doesn't exist" - Sarah Caton, This is a superb realisation. Why does it take most people so many years for the penny to drop?
Tim, this has been by far my favorite video of yours so far. What a great story! Thank you to the both of you!
Great interview Tim. Congrats on breaking 20k with your subs.
I heard a guy say this and it really hit me hard: Truth is simple, if it was complicated, everyone would understand it.
Well done Sarah, ordering a beer in front of your mum. Tim was right, you took your power back from your mum. An example of how Christianity poisons the minds of many believers.
Keep on going Tim. Great testimony Sarah. Well done to you and your brother. Your testimonies show how religion poisons relationships.
I like Christians who have the attitude - "You are unsaved but you are a nice person and I like you. Your beliefs are between God and you, not between me and you. So let's be good friends."
Great interview again. Kudos. If anyone Truly wants Freedom in life and no Fear present. The absolute best thing you can do is remove yourself from any and all religion and just start educating yourself. Once you break free from that religious mentality and control mechanisms I assure True Freedom will ensue and you'll never live in Fear again. Then and only then will you Truly find out what Love really is.
Another good interview Tim - thanks 😊. An advert for a prayer app popped up mid way!
Thank you, Sarah, for sharing your story! It deeply resonated with me. I, too, grew up as the daughter of a Baptist minister, and struggled with doubts and fears all my life. Sadly, it has taken me until my 60's to fully deconstruct, and happily embrace my unbelief. I still skirt the 'issues' with my Mom and Christian family members. I know it is cowardly but I am simply too tired to argue and defend myself. I have apologized to my four adult children for raising them in religious trauma, but I am thankful all four have walked away from it, and are leading happy, healthy, productive lives with families of their own.
Great “benediction” at the end, Tim. Very true and heartfelt.
What a beautiful gift to give to the next generation.
Thanks for sharing your story I know for me it was hard to say out loud how I was abused by family members that were brainwashed and basically crazy behind religion. I survived but not without some deep wounds. So thanks for speaking up for all of us❤
It was invented as a social control mechanism. It was to add another layer of authority over people.
Such another great interview Tim with a Sarah exposing the myth and nonsense of religion and the harmful psychological damage inflicted on children by religiously deluded parents….Keep up the good work and thank-you Sarah for sharing your journey back to reality !
What Sarah has described is so familiar, the conditioning, the theology, the isolation and insulation are the components of the reality bubble. It is really the definition of the matrix; a very ancient system of mind control. This is very cleverly constructed. In this Christian matrix the worse thing you can do is doubt and ask questions!
Another great interview!
Any time i get new information, i am free to change my belief. Good point.
I Appreciate how honest Sarah is. Great Interview.
thank you for keeping up this site. I left the jesus Army, an english radical pentecostal -babtist church that has now disolved, when I left I considered becoming an atheist, but realized for me personally Jesus was still allright. But not religion and organized religion with all its powerabuse, and their view on womens position, and a whole lot of other things.
I wish you all the best and a way out of your personal troubles wiyh your children,
Awesome interview!
The work of Stanford psychological anthropologist Tanya Luhrmann as discussed in her books "When God Talks Back" and "How God Becomes Real" sheds some light on that question of how/why some people "hear god" in those settings, as well as the fact there will always be a subset who don't or can't.
I've also heard Dan Barker express on a lay level a similar thought, in his case specifically with regard to charismatic expression or feeli g God's presence intensely - that there's a bell curve with a minority having those experiences very easily, the majority can to some degree or another with practice and conditioning, and another minority who don't and never will no matter how hard they try
Also neuroscientist John Wathey
I lost my childhood but here was a way to preserve it. What a great thought about a memoire. I wish i could write mine, too,
I totally relate to the more information I get, the more I don't believe. Once you start to see the inconsistencies in the bible and the history of bible translations etc. It is such a mess.
I agree with her on the concept that the more I read the bible, the less I could believe it.
What is the name of the song at the end of all your podcasts. Love what I hear
when I was an atheist at Catholic High School, I kept my own headcanon about which of my peers were agnostic or imposter syndrome (maybe 0 to 5% agnostic, 10-15% imposter syndrome).
Understand the mind of a narcissist youll understand the intent of christianity
Great interview
Feeling and thinking are inseparable and qualitatively equal. Keeping this in uncertainty is belief.
I grew up in an atheistic country in the Soviet Union. The main religion in the USSR was materialism and atheism and communism. It was all about power, genocide, starvation and slave labor. I am glad it's not that way any more.
I completely agree.
Christianity sets you up for abusive relationships. Good point.
Loved this interview! Tim, I would love for you to convert the verbal part of your You Tube channel to a podcast. This way I could hear you and do something else at the same time.
It's definitely on the agenda! I wish I could have it already set up that way, but I'll be doing that asap -- maybe even later this year. Thanks for your support!
One thing to be aware of is that CZcams has changed it's algorithms. Channels that I normally listen to don't always pop up on my daily list, and some have began to make videos of this, because the new algorithm is causing them viewerships. So I thought you were on break because for two months your videos didn't show up. Then a video of yours from two weeks ago pops up today. So I go to your page and see you've been making videos this whole time.
Trying to! It's been a crazy busy season but I'm trying to stay on target and keep the channel moving forward. I am glad you were looking out for my content!
Thanks for another great interview and thank you for sharing your story
If there really was a God I would thank the deity for you Sarah.
It is fun to do it yourself in the way you wish you had been raised, i wish i could say that myself, i am still suffering from the horrible way i have been raised that kept me from marrying as i was told that i was not worthy of a husband.
MUST SEE this Documentary just released Bad Faith How Christianity Bought the Republican Party
My life story is similar to Sarah Caton.
Another deeply helpful, healing video
Ps. For me, I feel triggered when Tim does his innocent "hums". I think it's a tick in men from churches when they are faux agreeing with you in a condesending way. Like fundie voice in women ( me) . I know Tim does not mean this. It just triggers my red flag nervous system. Deep tenacles.
P.s. maybe Spinoza had something 45:00 with that Pantheism thing although perhaps Pantheism was just a smear label that Christians put on him.
Wtf are you talking about?
@@mr.c2485 go back and listen...mr.
I love the matrix reference 😄
I see my life in the mirror Sarah Caton holds up. My parents didn't entirely destroy my life, but they did enormous damage, mentally and physically via the teachings of their Church and the Bible. And of course it was me who was wrong. I had hurt them terribly (their words). But that is common, isn't it. My mother, when I was in my 70's, told me that one day she would be in Heaven looking down at me burning in Hell forever and laugh. But that wasn't the most shocking for me - she had poisoned me several times. All for God - to send me packing, except once and that was to stop me going to the Vietnam War (I had chosen the Army as a career). As I had married a Catholic (I was then a Protestant) I had brought shame on the family name ... yet two other members of my extended family also married Catholics ... but then they were shunned, too. Bigotry was rife in my family. I see nothing good in this awful belief system.
It's about fear of growing up.
35:00. 😖😂 the pulpit committees maybe should not be so shocked at the humanity of a potential pastor.... im guessing if the rightwing christofascists outlaw porn, we will see many entire deacon boards in scandal 🤣😖 This is a great interview ... as always ur awesome 🥰
Oh, to be fair, that's not just Christianity, it's all religions, how else do you get people to be rabid believers in invisible people controlling the universe ?
Christianity is about Christ. The acts of a few is the acts of a few. People have the tendency to Judge collectively.. and why God judges individually. Because he understood the weakness of men's hearts I sympathize to what you are going through but we simply do not the faculties to judge collectively.
All cults live up to that title. It is the definition of a cult, regardless of any belief or product.
So, my question is; do christians live longer? Do they have less sickness? Is there less suicides in the church? I would like to see some data on that.
All monotheïsts are about power and control.
Complex ptsd from a lifetime of traumas. That is religion in a nutshell,
Right . I have believed in God for over 40 years and are so traumatized that I run around causing all the evil in the world.. and my ptsd is so bad I pound my head against a wall 24/7.
Toooo much metaphor Tim. I lost track of the original point.
theres lots of ways to learn ancient wisdom instead of the bible, especially Epicurianism and Epictetism
god loves u so much he'll send u to hell if u don't believe it
😂
It must be the worst nightmare to realise your God doesn't exist - after you have spent your whole life believing he does - what a waste.
Right.. I have believed in God for over 40 plus years and through one miraculous event after another, I still believe in God while others have walked away from God because most likely their Faith in God dried up. Faith without works is dead meaning if you sit around actively doing nothing your Faith will slowly fade away and you will start to doubt your Faith in God.
@@davidrexford586 So what you are saying is you have to actively continue to kid yourself there is something out there?
@@planmet not at all.. If I didn’t believe in God before I believed in God now , why do I believe in God now? Because I found that believing in God by the Faith he gives us.. WORKS!!! And everyone is given the same measure of Faith to believe in God with so that not one person can boast that only he can know God. Romans12v3. So either you reach out to God with the Faith he gives you.. or you refuse to and that is that.