Artemis Fowl - How to Insult the Audience | Anatomy Of A Failure
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- čas přidán 3. 07. 2020
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Our dearest friend Disney has gifted us with a serious contender for the worst movie of the decade: Artemis Fowl. It was supposed to hit theaters until Disney wised up and put it on Disney+ instead. Had this film actually hit theaters, it would've flopped badly and become another box office disaster with John Carter and The Lone Ranger. The main reason for this is that Artemis Fowl The Movie is one of the most nonsensical films made, and it insults the audience with its stupidity. It's pretty similar to what happened with 2019's The Curse of La Llorona, but only worse. In today's episode of Anatomy of a Failure, let's see why.
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#AnatomyOfAFailure #ArtemisFowl
clean pg family friendly big expensive house expensive car
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Artemis Fowl (2020)
Disney’s “Artemis Fowl,” based on the beloved book by Eoin Colfer, is a fantastical, spellbinding adventure that follows the journey of 12-year-old genius Artemis Fowl, a descendant of a long line of criminal masterminds, as he seeks to find his father who has mysteriously disappeared. With the help of his loyal protector Butler, Artemis sets out to find him, and in doing so uncovers an ancient, underground civilization-the amazingly advanced world of fairies. Deducing that his father’s disappearance is somehow connected to Artemis Fowl Is The Worst Disney Movie I've Ever Seen Disney’s Artemis Fowl | Official Trailer Artemis Fowl - Movie Review Artemis Fowl Pitch Meeting Curse of La Llorona - Making the Worst Horror Film of All Time Watch Artemis Fowl full movie online free 4k clip hd disney+ plus anatomy of a failure artimus fowl bad movie rant the Artemis Fowl honest trailer everything wrong with artemis fowl cinemasins secretive, reclusive fairy world, cunning Artemis concocts a dangerous plan-so dangerous that he ultimately finds himself in a perilous war of wits with the all-powerful fairies. “Artemis Fowl” is directed by Kenneth Branagh and stars Ferdia Shaw, Lara McDonnell, Josh Gad, Tamara Smart, Nonso Anozie, Josh McGuire, Nikesh Patel, Adrian Scarborough and Miranda Raison, with Colin Farrell and Judi Dench. Kenneth Branagh, p.g.a. and Judy Hofflund, p.g.a. are producing with Angus More Gordon and Matthew Jenkins serving as executive producers. Conor McPherson and Hamish McColl wrote the screenplay. Disney’s “Artemis Fowl” opens in U.S. theaters on May 29, 2020.
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Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Spider Man (Tom Holland), Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and all the other Avengers unite to assemble their power in order to fight the necessary battle against their biggest collective enemy, Thanos (Josh Brolin), before he can wreak his havoc across the entire world. Scarlett Johansson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Vin Diesel, Chris Evans, Karen Gillan, Zoe Saldana, and Dave Bautista also star. Directed by Anthony Russo and Joe Russo.
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The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
Director/co-writer Michael Chaves’s horror film draws supernatural inspiration from Mexican folklore. In 1970s Los Angeles, a social worker discovers that the children under her care are being pursued by the Weeping Woman: a female ghost who abducts living children because she lost her own child. She turns to a priest for assistance in warding off the terrifying maternal spectre. - Krátké a kreslené filmy
This movie is a paradox. You have to read the books to follow what's going on, and if you've read the books, you will hate what's going on even more
Just like what Avatar the last Airbender cartoon fans felt after watching the movie
You’ll also end up hating the books too
@Steffen Bakken for me after the Eternity code and Opal deception the quality of the the story drops, mismanagement of characters and story.
@@clockworkz5359 Opal Deception was the peak. The character mismanagement didn't hurt me as much up until Last Guardian, where Colfer just fucking reset and pretty much retconned what he had established Mulch, Artemis; time travel to have been initially. The whole premise was wrong. 5-7 could've been justified if 8 had given a good pay-off.
My thoughts exactly. It only makes sense for the fairies to not enter without permission if you read the books WHERE THEY GIVE YOU AN AIRTIGHT EXPLANATION for it
Fans: The movie sucks because it was nothing but an insult to the books
Filmento: Also the movie is just really really bad
Edit: To clear things up because people got confused the point of the statement was at the time the only thing I would ever see is how bad of an adaptation is, but Filmento was the only person I saw who focused on this movie as a whole. Even if it wasn't an adaptation it would of still been a bad movie.
And it's bad because it nothing like the book.
Like all the bad thing in the film is because thing have been make up or things went missing for no apparent reason just because it's Disney
The closest thing this movie had to book accuracy was Mulch, and even then they added the weird "giant dwarf" thing.
Yeah because fans of the book can't tell it's a bad movie right? Shut up.
Fans: the movie sucks
BlowBlow's Jiizare Headventure he didn’t mean that asshole.
Worse thing is that, if Disney REALLY wanted a blockbuster franchise, all they had to do was follow the books to the letter, because they stand by themselves pretty good, and the stories have a dark tone that adults would have enjoyed too
This. Hand it to Fiege, give him what he needs to do it right, and just watch that gold come rolling in from the box office.
@@aidangordon2713 dude like even i could have done better
@@Amon_Gus6969 Give me a smashed up phone and some colored tape and I could make a short that makes this movie seem even worse than it already is.
@@Hangman-yq5uh lets do it together
disney gonna disney, everything has to be mindless 'entertainment' that doesn't provide deeper thought in hopes it doesn't offend anyone so you can sell more tickets and subscriptions!!!!! meanwhile forgetting that what makes movies fun is seeing people overcome obstacles and make it out of tough situations, and instead just throwing in a montage of cool moments because FUCK YEAH!!!!
The plot of this movie is:
“You cannot kill me without my consent.”
Fairies: oh. Oh. Alrighty then.
This is explained in the book. There it's explained that they can't enter a human house without the owners consent or else they loose their magic which to them is basically like being ill or disabled.
@@fis001r yeah but it got eatblished in the first scene where holly entered the restaurant to save the child when she interpreted his cry as an invitation to enter inside however that never happens in the movie
@@fis001r that's a little dumb, but it's better then nothing
@@captainmega6310 in the books it's treated just as a rule how the world/magic system works. It's tied into the story quite well. Artemis knows stuff like this (and the magic refill ritual) because there's books with the "rules", and he located a fairy and took her book. The whole reason why they get the dwarf to tunnel into the manor is because he's a chronic thief and has long lost his magic, so he can enter uninvited.
@@Zinoba_ well, at least they do cool stuff with that. Maybe i'll read it once i'm not broke
Also, the original plot was so much simpler: kid criminal wants money, kid criminal finds out that fairy folk exist and have huge reserves of gold, kid criminal kidnaps a fairy for ransom.
He's the protagonist and villain. He sets everything in motion. There was no mystical artifact.
Are you suggesting we should have a proactive protagonist? BLASPHEMY
Are you suggesting we should remove mystical MacGuffins? HERESY
Are you suggesting they should have gone with an established and beloved story rather than write their own? INSOLENCE
Are you suggesting they should have made a movie everyone would have enjoyed for many years to come, thus becoming a future classic? SACRILEGE
Sounds as dumb as kidnapping a leprechaun to steal his pot of gold.
Book Artemis: gets asthma attack climbing up a ladder
Movie Artemis: SURFS UP DUDE!!!
And I've never heard of the rocky, cold coast of Ireland being an ideal place to surf
I would have walked out of the theater right there.
@@blaisetelfer8499 I used to live there. It's not unheard of, surprisingly, but goddamn is it uncommon.
Surfing is common in the warmer months, especially in the Donegal region. I surfed there myself
@@mcpuppyhugger7067 was he surfing in the Donegal region?
"All we learn about any character is their race"
Disney: "But thats all that matters..."
@airlockengage If only Disney would humble their insatiable pockets and read reviews after making a dookie storm movie like this they’d put that $100m to good use
@airlockengage also they decided not to use the already existing representation of skin colors and genders from the books but to mix almost everything up...
@airlockengage I've been saying that for a while now. It's crazy as hell...
The thing about characters is it's not their physical characteristics that make them iconic. Daria could be a guy, Ed from Good Burger could be caucasian, and Jodee from Soap could be straight, and it wouldn't matter, because it's their personalities and relationships that make them great characters. I'll admit that I'm not the most knowledgeable about the sort of thing, but a characters gender, race, or sexuality don't matter as long as they're likable, interesting, and compelling, and the constant quest for representation undermines that fact.
@@jeremyusreevu237 Damn right
This leftist push for representation is just them trying to put their greasy little hands over every cultural expression to push political agendas
I remember this part in one of the books where Artemis is in a therapy session and basically breaks the therapist's illusion about how special his chair is. It's such a tiny bit but somehow that's stuck with me through the years and is one of the best ways that the series conveyed how intelligent and brutal Artemis is.
@@HUMAN-fq5ff I think so. I know this movie is about book 1 but usually good movies based on books (like Master and Commander) grab bits and pieces from many entries to flesh out the characters. The chapter I refer to is one of the best displays of Artemis' badassery and it has nothing with the silliness displayed on the movie.
It was in the fifth book wasn't it? The one about the demons?
@@riukasoulripper8252 if memory serves me right, yes. It is one of the latter books for sure. He's a moody teenager by then.
@@alecguevara1835 I could have sworn that it was "The Atlantis Complex", where Artemis suffers from a split Personality, I believe.
The chair moment is from The Arctic Incident
Why is "Made for kids" an excuse for something being terrible and horribly thought out? Kids aren't idiots.
You're right. Kids are a lot smarter than we think. I know because I was one.
Remember Shark Tale and The Bee Movie? Kids ate those up. Kids are idiots.
@@M.A.R.S. Those movies were funny. Kids like funny things. Sheesh.
More importantly, given how many children's movies have made tons of money by being made well, thus also appealing to everyone else, what filmmaker would be this unambitous... and why does Kenneth Branagh keep getting work, despite being such a shitty fucking actor and director? Relevant examples of children's movies that appeal to everyone else as well include, like, virtually every animated feature ever made by the company that made this pile of shit.
Nah you guys just don't remember you loved shit tier movies as a kid. Kids love bad movies just as good ones because, pretty much, they don't care. Also you're a fucking liar if you claim you understood the lines, the jokes and the stories of a movie just fine in your early years. Or it's that you're still kids and don't understand any of this lol.
Note: Artemis being an awesome surfer also contradicts the book - he does not exercise.
If I remember correctly, in the second book this kid nearly DIED climbing a ladder. So yeah the surfing BS made no sense
@@skydragonslayer9820 I remember one scene specifically, I can't remember which book, but he says something like "Note to self: EXERCISE!"
In book 6 he only survives a situation because he actually exercised a bit so his improved upper body strength let him hold on in a precarious position. And even mentions he is glad he started doing that exercise.
@@skydragonslayer9820 In all fairness, the ladder was on the outside of a moving train and it was also freezing (plus the train was loaded with radioactive waste). Still, the books very clearly establish that at least early on he's not fit at all.
Disney Exec: He's supposed to be cool but children don't like smart people so show him surfing. Surfing is cool.
Artemis: *slams slider shut*
Anyone with any common sense and snark: *stands up slightly, looking through wire* "I can still see you, still talk to you. That's right, keep walking kid, didn't think that through did ya? Right genius you are"
It woulda been funny if they made that joke. But at the same time, it wouldn’t of been, since the main kid is supposed to be some super genius.
Why is shy in a cage? This movie is terrible
Plus the lock on the cage door is a masterlock. Anyone who picks/watches LPL would know that that is a super easy lock to pick. Or you could just kick at the rotted 200 year old floorboards he is using fir the cell.
I would just pretend he is keeping me quiet and say: wow he calls himself a genius but he couldn’t just buy a better cage? MAN I SURE HOPE THAT FOUR EYED DORK DIDN’T HERE THAT, IT MIGHT HURT HIS WITTLE FEEWINGS!!!!
Artemis looks back
Me: thats right sucka, Stay mad😎
So how the movie starts off: Artemis surfing
How the book starts off: Artemis uses minimal information to implement a plan in which he poisons a fairy and uses the antidote to extort her to make a copy of her ancient fairy book.
which of these establishes tone and character?
Both, the first one just establishes the wrong tone and character for a movie pretending to be artismis fowl
Definitely
I don't understand how he's called a criminal master mind, when he's just looking for something, in his OWN house
And hes kidnapped a Fairie to do it and invited an entire army with more advanced technology than his to his OWN HOUSE.
I recommend reading the books, theres not even an "aculos" to look for lol (and the kid is actually a criminal)
Yo in the first book hes does this all just for greed, wealth an honor. He literally does it all to steal the fairys gold to enrich himself, not to save the world or his dad (who is already presumed dead in the book btw). And he invites the army cause he has a literal god complex and thinks he can outsmart them. But i guess making the posterboy of your kidsmovie a narcissistic, selfserving villain who does everything to enrich himself was too edgy for disney... As if that wasnt the whole point of the book. ( ._.)
@@DrakhValor jeez bro, Disney always has to change stuff to be politically correct.
Or how he DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIS DAD WAS A CRIMINAL!
*shows artemis being a surfer to make him seem cool*
-forgets the fact that he is widely know not to do any sorts of physical activity and is rather clumsy"
Disney has a habit of creating mary sues... on in this case a gary stu.
The kid nearly died climbing a ladder
Isn't that an improvement?
@@bloodnivel70 nah, this movie butchered a ton of stuff that dont make sense compared to the books.
his main thing is him being smart but weak, clumsy and weird while needing others to do the physical work for him to make his plans work
@@feralforlorn "Clumsy" I'd say is a bit too broad of a term. He isn't physically fit and therefore struggles with stuff that requires that stuff. But stuff that needs a steady hand etc.? Artemis is your man.
The saddest part is, this was based on an AMAZING book, where everything that happened was fully and meticulously explained. They've left out the part where the fairies can't enter a house unless you invite them, the part with the neutron bomb, the part where they actually capture him at the end and think they've mind wiped him only to reveal that he was wearing mirrored contacts and had secretly paid off the dwarf a second time to come back for the second book. This is from a highly acclaimed series of like, 10 books, probably some of the smartest young adult books ever written.
It's really sad that Disney made this movie, that they absolutely did not care about the actual book series, didn't even bother to attempt to attempt to make a movie based off of sad books. Instead, they chose to take some of the surface aesthetics from the books and write an entirely different story which kills all the brilliance of them. The truly Criminal part is, by buying the rights and making this film, they've precluded anyone else from making a film about the actual book, meaning we will never see an Artemis Fowl film.
This isn't just a bad movie, this is the absolute destruction of a piece of American culture. EDIT: I should've said "Literary Culture", because the book is part of international culture, and isn't American.
Like pretty much everything else Disney does these days. 😔
it's European culture but yes
Eoin Colfer is Irish, but yes I feel your pain.
@@jerryvelasco1474 Ireland is part of Europe, island or not
@@justintimefordinner4902
I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the OG post.
The Book: This is Butler, and everybody calls him Butler because this is his job and nobody of them realy know is first name
The Film: NEVER CALL HIM BUTLER OR HE WILL KILL YOU!!!!!
This is like the Sherlock-TV-Series where
still countless people are embarassingly convinced
its a good show, even though CZcamsrs,
like 'Hbomberguy' have made whole
Documentarys about it being objectively bad AND insulting
to all Fans;
kinda like Artemis Fowl and Last Airbender.
...I dont know... i just wished more people
would watch and share
this video, so people stop saying its a great show,
when its objectively not.
@@slevinchannel7589 so you're just angry over sherlock
@@wool578 Uhm... What?
?
@@slevinchannel7589 except in the Sherlock series the stories were at least entertaining, even if it did portray the original characters in completely different angles the stories by themselves were kinda interesting. Artemis fowl is just a hot mess. The only thing the film has in common with the books is the name, but take away the name and the film itself is still shit.
@@slevinchannel7589 how much are you gonna post it kiddo? lmao
"When he was 7, he beat the European chess champion in 5 moves."
That certainly sounds impressive... to everyone who does not know anything about chess. The only explanation how that can actually happen is if someone payed the champion to take a dive.
Isn't having money to bribe equate being a genius in America?
Yep. Actually impossible to beat *any* player in 5 moves if they learned the Scholars Mate. & it’s the first thing we ALL learn 😂
@@joejitsu034 Not neccesarily. Sometimes a player might just not be paying attention enough, or maybe they're playing a very fast game for the first time and don't take the time to think.
While I'm certainly no expert, I am pretty decent in chess, and yet I've been beaten in a few turns a couple of times. A lack of attention, or too much focus on your own pieces and attack strategy can easily make you lose the game.
That said, It's only happened a few times in hundreds and hundreds of games, and I definitely watch out for early game shenanigens more often, but it absolutely can happen.
Whether it actually can happen against a chess master is a completely different question. The Movie here thinks that being a genius suddenly makes the opponent a dumbass. The rules for chess are strict, and grandmasters are likely to know every trick in the book, the only role genius plays is whether you can predict a great deal of moves beforehand or not, which is entirely dependent on what the opponent will do.
So what happened here is simple: people that have never played chess wrote a script for people of which they assumed also did not know how chess works. Because all they "know" is that "chess is for smart people hurdiefuckingdur" even though it's actually a very simple game to learn. The screenwriters believe the audience is filled with morons.
Of course it's possible:
Move 1: Move a random pawn forward
Move 2: Pick up your knight and throw it at the opponent
Move 3: Flip the table
Move 4: Punch your opponent in the face while he's distracted.
Move 5: Pick up the chess board before it hits the ground and beat your opponent over the head with it, K.O., you are done.
I agree. It is so dumb and unbelievable. They could have just write... "When he was 7, he beat the european chess champion"... without the stupid "in 5 moves" and the script will be waaay much better and believable.
Artemis is a "hella lit surfer"?
One of his defining traits in the early books is his lack of physical aptitude, which he actively begins to work on in the later books due to it repeatedly being a problem for him!
He doesn't even appreciate being forced to exercise in the gym until the sixth book when he's hanging on to a pylon for his dear life. XD
Thank you! This was a big plot point in the 4th book when hes at the 8 wonders.
RIGHT! I'd just blanked on that when he mentioned it, Damn, that's... just so wrong!
I think a big thing about this is that well like most adaptations it won't always be true to its source, also that movies like this are more meant to grab the attention of a stray watcher wanting to watch a movie than an actual person who has read the books and is excited to see where they go with it.
@@pokehunter6467 I understand that. But this level of disrespect for the source material is like if in the first Pokemon movie Pikachu was a fire type because the director thought fire was cooler than electricity. It's a change that removes a defining character aspect for cheap spectacle. Not a good trade.
Artemis's brilliance is actually handled very well in the books. See, to the reader/audience it seems like he cannot be real and it must be fake. He's not fake. But then he must be totally inhuman as someone as smart as him is just plain incomprehensible as being possible at all. And *he is treated that way in the books.* People DO see him as more of a "thing" or some sort of inhuman existence and are deeply disturbed by him. The books are as much about him learning to be human as they are about him achieving goals and having adventures.
I feel bad for Ferdia Shaw. It’s his first big movie role and he gets this movie. I hope people don’t have a nonsensical grudge against him for this movie in his future.
Facts
His grandfather was robert shaw (quint from jaws)
Oh no no no
We actually feel sorry for the actors involvement they simply needed money, its the writing staff and “creative” teams that we don’t trust making movies
@@acemarvel1564 could just be how Disney wanted it written and they had to fill in the details
"The most precious artifact in our entire civilization..."
So precious, in fact, that it wasn't in a single one of the books 🤦♂️
So precious in fact, that you left it in the manor of an 11-year old
THANK YOU
So precious, in fact that I don’t know about it cuz I haven’t seen the movie or read the book
ToxicSkull0 it doesn’t even EXIST in the books. I have NO IDEA where Disney pulled that one out of.
So precious, in fact, that it manifests only when the stars align and the plot relevance is just right
Artemis in the books: Cold, calculating, pale, skinny criminal mastermind who overshadows his father and is the smartest person in any given room. He is the person you turn to when your back is pinned to against the wall, he is never seen without a suit, and hates physical activity deciding to leave it to Butler.
Artemis in the movie: Annoying, snot nosed, well-fed kid who enjoys surfing, getting in on the action, and lounging around in, what would make real Artemis retch at the thought, wearing a t-shirt, jeans and a jacket.
Holly in the books: Feisty, lovable, smart, elf who is the first female in an elite branch of the LEP, and if she fails will be used as an example as to why females can’t handle important jobs.
Holly in the movie: A generic fairy cop who gets kidnapped and is rescued by a primarily women police force which takes away the reason you root for her.
Butler in the books: A Eurasian warrior who has come up with 50 different ways to kill you in any situation if you glance at Artemis the wrong way. He is the muscle of the team and is usually the person making sure that the rest of them don’t die and the first human to take on a troll (the deadliest creature on the planet) and win.
Butler in the movie: A black old guy who shows Artemis what his dad did and, instead of having a epic battle between man and beast he gets squished by the troll before the fight had even began. Not to mention his ancestors were probably slaves to the Fowl’s.
I could do more but I think I’ve said my piece
Nah, you pretty much nailed it. The fact you covered it so clear just shows how incompetent disney now actually is
@@bioman1hazard607 Yeah, I'm going to go read the books again just to purge my mind of the heresy I just witnessed. At least I watched this youtube vid instead of the actual film. Good riddance.
I'm not mad at them casting a black guy as butler in the movie because if I recall correctly Butler's race doesn't heavily influence the plot of the book. But I do wish they chose someone who's s bit more imposing and not just any big dude. Maybe someone like idris Elba. Anybody who can carry themselves as required. Essentially a better actor.
Terry Crews might have been a decent choice as well. But let's All just forget about this abomination. Disney should never have been the ones to make it into a film, nearly all they make is garbage anyway.
Root: A *man* in charge of LEP-Recon and puts pressure on Holly due to her being the *first* female operative. Smokes excessively, has a gut, and earned his position the hard way. Rough around the edges, but genuinely believes in Holly
Root in the movie: A *woman* in charge of LEP-Recon and is proof that Holly *isn’t* the first female operative. Makes Holly’s overall struggle against a sexist work environment pointless due to being at the top. Says ‘top of the morning’ unironically to seem badass
One of the best parts of the book is how it shows Artemis as a kind of villain, then shows him becoming less and less of that, and started to work with the LEP recon, but here it just says "let's skip that, and switch genders of cap because we need more female rep".
even though the whole reason holly was in hot water originally was cause she was the first female officer and she might give new female officers bad reps? Yeah. CHEAP I SAY.
Unpopular opinion, but I actually think they had the potential to pull Root off as a woman. Sure, Holly being a female LEP officer would have been less impactful, but if you don't establish that in the first place then it won't be a problem, and Dame Judy Dench is easily good enough to sell the role convincingly. However, this is not what happened, and we ended up with less impact and no real characters at all. When I saw Dench was gonna be playing Root, I actually thought it was a decent (if unusual) casting choice, but alas, it was total garbage
@@calebdouglas2512 well said
@@calebdouglas2512 usually, anything has potential to be pulled off if done well, even the most stupid and dumb ideas, like, even ghostbusters 2016 could've been great, but usually when a gender change is done its not because theres a good idea, and often that leads to it not being done well (worse ideas can work but require more effort), sadly
It pisses me off so much. I can understand doing that for like..the third or maybe even second movie. But the whole point of Holly’s character is to PROVE to her superiors that she/women as a whole can be LEP, as she is the very first female in the force.
I think the words "our hero Artemis Fowl" says it all given that this was supposed to be book one
They call him criminal mastermind and hero almost in the same sentence. And at the end, they show us neither. In the first book he was a selfish shut-in genius who kidnapped fairies for money!
fairies: we will save our kin by storming your house
artemis: no fairies are allowed inside my house
fairies: understandable. have a great day
Well in the books they cant enter a human house without permission because when they made their magic rules ages ago they saw humans as weak and dumb and wanted to protect them from ill intend
@@herbertwalter8693 But they would know that before trying to storm his house, right? They would have opened with "guy that can tunnel into house."
tdylan well in the book they initially sent in the dwarf, then tried to blow him up with a bomb literally (murder him). And it was only because he was expecting an attack that he survived.
"No fairies are allowed inside my house." Couldn't someone rules lawyer that into getting him to expel the fairy he's holding captive inside his house?
@@3Rayfire they had that lawyering thing actually in the book. Like how Artemis worded his forbiddance and they have it analyzed by fairy law experts how to construe it and work around it. But Artemis worded it in such a way that the loophole they thought they found was a trap. And what artemis said in the movie was not his words in teh book.
I’m not entirely sure the screenwriters actually read the books.
They asked some kid who read the book in a previous life
Sad thing is that Brennagh agreed to direct the movie because the kids in his family are huge Artemis Fowl fans and begged him to do it...
*read any books
Noway
I’m not entirely sure that the screen writers are screen writers
The worst part is almost every one of those problems was something they cut/ changed from the books.
Filmento: "In the eyes of Artemis Fowl, every person watching is an absolute gullible moron."
Yes, and he's right.
I feel bad for the kid playing Artemis. Its his first movie and hes stuck with this as his debut.
Yeah, it's not the kid's fault. It's the big boy adults that came up with the shitty script and poor direction. Hope the kid doesn't get hate.
daniel radcliffe is not just harry potter, and if you think that you should be alone for the rest your life. I feel bad for artemis actor tho bc he prob wasent even paid that well
He really could have been so iconic if Disney didn’t mess it up
Remember Jake Lloyd (the boy who played as Anakin Skywalker) also the Noah Ringer (the boy who played as Aang in the live-action movie Last Airbender) he had only two films and then he "retired" from acting in 2011.
When the role you play as actor does not klick for the audience you are basicly fucked even tho it is not your own fault no matter how good you play it
Like the dude who played the joker in sucide squad he playd well but a lot of kids hate him now lol
If you're going to adapt a book for the big screen, is it too much to ask to, I don't know, _adapt_ the _book?_
50 Shades of Grey would like to have a word with you after the show.
@@Isaackariuki775 Percy Jackson also...
Give it a decade, it’s happening with Percy Jackson so I’m sure if that’s successful Disney will actually care about the book.
@@johannes9468 and Eragon
Welcome to the magical money making madness of DISNEY. Where you can't have a Antagonist as the main Character, that's likeable and a actual villain. You know, as in the book.
Never read the source material, never even heard of this movie. That said, from the other comments, it appears that this movie is not only absurdly terrible in its own right, but it's also a huge insult to the book it's supposedly based on. That's a pretty impressive accomplishment, that the studio, writers and director managed to create a movie so utterly loathsome.
Yep.
I would recommend the books if you like the general premise. Iirc the first 3 books have a comic book adaptation that’s what the movie should have done.
Yeah. As someone who read the entire series and loved it, this movie is unbelievably insulting in just about every facet you can imagine. Even if someone hated the books, what they picture in their heads would be still a thousand times better than this movie.
I haven't even read the book, know nothing about the characters and i hated this movie. It has NO story, the exposition was so heavy handed to the point it treates all of us like we're dumbass as we couldn't figure things out of our one. Just about the movie finished it's first act i don't even know what this movie is trying to say cuz it looks like Disney tried to put so many things into a 90 minute movie, super short for a debut franchise of a popular book series. I hated this movie so much, not boring at all cuz i was mesmerized how awful this movie was
Indeed
@@decadude8968Well, Artemis Fowl isn't the worst thing I've ever seen or played. I think it's a 3/10.
"You can't break and enter!"
"Why?"
"Because I live here...? Duh."
This is like the Sherlock-TV-Series where
still countless people are embarassingly convinced
its a good show, even though CZcamsrs,
like 'Hbomberguy' have made whole
Documentarys about it being objectively bad AND insulting
to all Fans;
kinda like Artemis Fowl and Last Airbender.
...I dont know... i just wished more people
would watch and share
this video, so people stop saying its a great show,
when its objectively not.
>Smartest child in the world looks for a mcguffin inside his house
>Doesnt check behind every painting for a safe
those are things anyone that ever watched a movie knows
In a well written story a child genius would always make simple mistakes based on Common Sense. They wouldn't be invincible and peerless thus making this mistake an element of characterization.
@@OdaSwifteye In the novels Artemis is very brilliant and detail oriented, but that's as much his flaw as it is his strength. His common sense is still exceptional, but he is exceedingly arrogant and as a result is constantly underestimating and guessing about things he should have been assuming were going to the worst possibly for him.
It has been some time since I read the original, but I recall a particular passage where I believe it was Holly (who may or may not have been getting a little stockholmy at this point in time) notices that while Fowl's little saferoom and bunker in his house has something like a 6 inch thick magnetically sealing door bolted into the wall, the molding was wood and if LEP decided to use their magical nuke, everyone inside was going to die.
Artemis's faults were his superiority complex and inexperience; it made him a good character to watch develop as he realizes that when the stakes are raised there were real consequences for failure or a lack of contingency on his part. Getting back to the video now; I hope I didn't just write an essay on something that's covered at a later timestamp.
In the book that safe was Artemis property and he stuck one of several copies of the elvish bible/sacred "the book" inside it. Nothing too valuable for him, but at this point the elves did not know where he got all those intel of elves from, he told holly he set her on truth drugs and questioned her, which was cruel because she believed then that she was a traitor that ratted on her whole nation. But the real safe wasnt the safe behind the painting, in there was only some money, the real safe with the book was a lead mini-safe hidden inside the thick painting frame. Mulch diggums finding it and opening it was a show-off of his awesome ability, but the hidden safes location was a show-off from artemis'es genius too...
beetle149 not gunna lie the second I enter a massive house or hotel I immediately check the paintings for secret shit I also pull on random books in book shelves because who wouldn’t...except Artemis Fowl a genius who got tricked by baby’s first espionage level hiding. If Artemis called the police and said that there were drunks in the house they would have checked behind the paintings
@@robertbretschneider765 doesn't the forcefield the LEP put around the mansion also keep time stuck to night during the whole siege as well?
When you realise $125 million was spent on a film that got 9% on Rotten Tomatoes and 4.1/10 on IMDb, way to go Disney, your streaming platform really needed this disasterpiece
Ass
Disney is not what it was in the 'golden age'. They're more Electronic Arts these days and less CDPR...
If this were released in theaters, this would have bombed tremendously. It would have made the box office money from Mars Needs Moms look like a Marvel movie by comparison.
they are lucky it went on streaming service, if this went to theaters they would lost even more money
@@michaelstrong5383 ugly as sin, but lease they tried to show us a story, not straight telling us about things, yeah...no
I refused to watch the movie when I learned two things.
One, Artemis being super active and skills physically when literal plot points originally hinged on him needing a body guard cause he barely manages not to trip over his own feet. And only uses his brain to save people while other people carry these out.
Two, Artemis never started out trying to be any sort of good guy. He’s an asshole kid that wants gold. Period. His learning to be a better person through his escapades with the fairy people builds his character through a series. This is what made me love his character as a kid cause we got to watch someone with a real character arc. He didn’t change overnight but over years!
They made this like a stand-alone with zero faith. And I’m mad. And with technology we have they just made so much of this movie comedic and terribly cgi. There were great moments in the book that were hilarious and deadpan. Not forced.
Lastly…. Cause I could go on all day. Root should have been a man. Period. There’s a beautiful commentary on Holly overcoming sexism and Root being a behind the scenes cheerleader for her and it’s just lost. Sigh…..
Please, read the books.
What was even the point of Root being a woman? Like they didn’t even bring up the theme of ‘Holly trying to live up to her example’ or anything
It’s like the producers just *wanted* to trigger all the book fans
Always refreshing to see someone review a book-adapted film, who clearly has no awareness of the source material.
Genius
Yeah, a movie can be annoying because it doesn't keep to the source material but you can't really tell if the non-invested find it bad without one telling you
The fact that there was a book, as well as a graphic novel that stuck with the book’s original story, means that Disney failed even though they had TWO SOURCES TO WORK FROM!!
Disney has source material? I thought the first thing they do is throw out anything that fans could say was a story?
not the first time they did that shit. Look at the Star Wars Sequels
clearly Disney has learned nothing still
Imagine if they had just copied the graphic novel shot for shot. Easy, successful movie
@@shacuras8201 Yes. They wouldn't even have to spend time creating a storyboard.
Shacuras And from what I saw the movie’s designs for the fairy civilization is like... Totally copied from the graphic novel??? So they really went the lazy-ass way
Wait... You trying to tell me this kid beat a chess CHAMPION with a fool's mate? A mate that basically requires your opponent be completely inexperienced at chess? This movie does think we're blithering idiots.
Actually that was in the books too but in a different context
@@tamadnapagong7860 what was the different context?
@@alexmcsandwichface2075 He played against a grandmaster to get inside russia.
@@tamadnapagong7860 yeah but defeating a chess grandmaster in just 5 moves is still pretty much impossible. Every chess player who is good at it, let alone a Grandmaster, knows every single opening there is and can probably predict what your next move will be depending on how you open. A grandmaster would be able to tell that your trying to beat him by a fool's mate and counter it and probably make fun of you for even trying it.
@@unhandydaddy5117 yeh i know i play chess too. I am just saying it was also in the books
12:10 in the books they can't enter anywhere without having some type of invatation, if they do they basically get sick and their magic revolts. But in the movie they just expect everyone to know that, so to everyone who hasn't read the books...your are basically left out. It's so stupid,JUST USE THE BOOKS AS YOUR SCRIPT, ITS NOT THAT HARD!!!!
Indeed
Bro I thought that Percy Jackson had a shit adaptation, but looking at this, I think the the Percy Jackson film people did an okay job. (They absolutely did not!)
Book Artemis is a brilliant mind with more than a bit of ill-gotten gains, and Butler, and tries to use his intelligence and his stuff to paper over his wounds and his immaturity and his physical frailty. (IIRC. It's been a while.)
Movie Artemis is a Gary Stu.
The book: is amazing
The fans: u literally cannot mess this up just ctrl-c ctrl-v!
The movie: fails
Same with the Percy Jackson movies and books!
The books are great!
The movies: SUCK!!
Yeah but at least the percy Jackson movies followed the events and plot of the books even if the execution really sucked. The Artemis fowl movie didn't even keep the cast the same. I don't care about gender or race swaps in fact I found them to be pretty cool for the most part. However to have the villain from later books and his dad in this movie when he is already a well established villain from the books and had his mom as a parental figure. Ugh. It really is as simple as ctrl-c ctrl-v but I guess disney couldn't bare having a child villain.
@@dtheriault3 Wasn't Root a huge mysogynist though? It wouldn't make sense for him to be a girl.
@@dtheriault3 this is false. The movies are literally nothing like the books
Leave it to big Studios with billions of millions of budget to be literally to retarded to hit a frigging broadside of a barn...
I think the laziest and most insulting part of this entire movie (book adaptation flaws aside, that is) is that the entire movie is an egg hunt for the "Magical Maguffin" and yet the entire hunt happens inside of a freaking house and beyond that it takes an elaborate plan to coax in the faeries to use a dwarf to discover that stupid Maguffin is locked inside of a safe behind a picture!?!?!? You're telling me that Artemis Fowl is a freaking prodigy among prodigies, and yet never went "hm, maybe we should check the most obvious places first, such as, behind freaking pictures." WHAT?!?!?!?!
Right? Which is why the books never had a macguffin, or stupidly obvious hiding places for them. There was never a search for anything in the first book. It's so annoying, especially the first book is basically an action movie in book form, there's so little they would need to change to get a really good script out of it. Why not use the plot that was already popular with millions of people, that worked, that had very few obvious holes etc. Instead the writers (the way too many writers, there's like 7) decided to go with every "what not to do in film writing" mistake they could find.
@@AnnekeOosterink Wa-wa-wa-wait, you're telling me that there were SEVEN writers on this film, and not a single one of them stood up and said "uh, guys, wtf are we doing?" That's ridiculous, like, holy crap, how is that even possible.
I think Artemis can't open the safe and needs the dwarf for that. I don't know if this is in the movie or I made it up in my head to make it less terrible.
@@marina.chayka Artemis breaks into a safe with biometric security(I am drastically understating the security of this particular safe) in the third or fourth book. That safe(the movie) would have been nothing for him.
@@AnnekeOosterink They basically said "hey good job writing this really successful book we are gonna make it a movie. Havent read it but heard its great. Dont worry though we will totally make it better with lasers........ and surfing"
It is so sad that the movie of the book that defined my childhood was so bad
They turned the police chief into a woman which also neglected the whole point of Holly Short’s jurney
What's annoying is that most of these things that seem nonsensical are explained rather well and quickly in the books, so I have no idea why they didn't explain them or anything.
Interesting that it's the movie that tells rather than showing at every opportunity. It usually tells us the wrong thing at the wrong time though.
even just narated it in their anoying way would have been better then not explaining indeed
marvel got it right
How do we know tony stark is a genius:
"HE BUILT AN IRON MAN SUIT IN A CAVE... WITH A BUNCH OF SCRAP!"
Funny enough, the same can be said for Marvel themselves and their cinematic universe
@@TheMamaluigi300 Kevin Feige is a modern day story telling genius. The reason all other cinematic universes came and went is because they lacked his leadership.
Artemis Fowl: "Well, I'm sorry, sir... But I'm not Tony Stark."
XD
@@mar10ssj1 yeah nahhhhhh......
TheMamaluigi300 only some of them, which are normally the bottom of the barrel of the films. Most of the time the mcu doesnt talk down to its audeince. I wouldnt call it perfect or story telling genius. They just had a plan and a basic level of film making, with some exceptional and not very exceptional writters and directors
The saddest part is that, from what I hear, they tried to make Artemis relatable. I did read the first 5 books multiple times, I'm a fan. Artemis was never meant to be relatable, not from the start. He does have some likeable traits, and has cracks of vulnerability every now and then, but he's meant to be and feel superior, detached, cold and arrogant.
Yeah the book series was kind of a redemption for him
The first book he is SUPPOSED to be insufferable and not relatable (oh and also he is well aware that his family business is illegal goods trafficking and theft). He is a child genius and criminal mastermind how the fuck are you supposed to relate to that? It is part of what made the first book so captivating. And yeah as the series goes on he become more and more of an actual human being. But they tried to shove the first and second books together and it did not work at all.
Which (from what I have seen of the comments on this film) seems to be precisely what the stonefaced performance from the young actor (for whom I have genuine sympathy) is intended to portray. Given the mess the actual production seems to have been, perhaps they changed their mind on this part way through?
According to Aaron Ehasz (Head writer of THE LAST AIRBENDER), characters should NOT be "relatable", "likable" or "sympathetic", because it's often done very poorly... Characters instead should be compelling, believable, dimensional and intriguing.
Trying to make him more relatable? They made a "2 cool 4 scool" character, that's like the antithesis of being relatable
I’ve read/listened to every book, they tell one of the best, most interesting stories I’ve ever heard. This movie shouldn’t even deserve its name.
12:10 - In the books, there was an interesting explanation to this; Fairies must be given permission to enter a human's residence, else they will lose their magical abilities. Fairies are then incapable of acting against a human's will while inside their home. The line "No fairies may enter this house while I am alive" bares a fair bit of weight (in the books) because A) Means no fairies can enter his residence, which leads to the introduction of my fav character Mulch Diggums (A criminal dwarf who lost his magical abilities long ago. Dwarfs have a fair few natural talents that they don't lose like unhinging their jaws to chew through earth/walls, lock-pick hair, etc) and B) Leads to the ending reveal that Artemis is alive after the clean-up crew enters to see if they can retrieve the ransom gold, whenever they then lose their magical abilities. That moment in the books was great fun, and its painful to see relics of my favourite childhood series in the horrific mistranslation that this movie is.
ProTip: if you need to say out loud you're a 'criminal genius'...you ain't.
Lol, like those guys who claim they are alpha males all the time.
@@gins6295 Or some people saying they are nice but don't get good partners to love them (reason is because they cheated or are just horrible in general). Or commercials promising the products are absolutely fantastic that you have to own it to be happy. Or insecure people saying stuff to fit in the crowd and then blaming said crowd for making them unhappy/not treating them right.
Oh humanity and its ever present misfortunes 😂
When characters commit suicide by self-introduction
r/iamvsrysmart be like
"I'm a very stable genius"
The book: "After several nights out in the field under the cover of a super specialised military material that deflects any and all sensor readings"
The film: "Butler wears an undersized peice of web netting over his suit and stands by a tree"
Several MONTHS if I remember correctly! At many different locations!
@@sneakydeekie5472 Yup, ur right about that.
Amy Wallis
4 months to be exact.
I feel so terrible for the book series that are genuinely good, like Percy Jackson and Artemis Fowl, who get movie adaptations that don't *adapt* the dam books!
DAM JOKE: DETECTED
@@thestealthyartist6248 goddammit
@@GBlockbreaker god"dam"it
It has been over a decade since i heard the audiobook.
I have read the comments from people who know the book here and i have to agree with all of them.
It felt like every single one of your "why do the characters act like this" questions can be answered with "bcz thats what happened in the books, although it made more sense there"
I remember the book as one of my favorites back then. Eventhough my initial reaction to "a fairy tale" was somewhat offputting, it actually established a world with like- and believeable characters as well as a villain (Artemis) with a character arc and development.
From what i remember, at some point in the book you are kinda rooting for both sides, which made the final resolve even more satisfying.
It’s actually pretty much impossible to win in chess against a decent opponent with 5 moves. Pros know opening traps and every possible checkmate in under 5 moves has been discovered and mostly dismissed as not possible to integrate into a normal game without cutting any loss.
I can beat a chess master in 3 moves.
All I need is a cowboy hat and a revolver...
@@planescaped Bruh moment
Indeed. Being able to win at all, in normal time or 5 minute blitz or any more would be enough.
Agreed Whoever thought that up has clearly never played Chess.
Yes, I believe in the books he used six moves at least.
Man, if you thought this movie insulted your intelligence, imagine how all of us fans of the books felt when a movie we’ve wanted for decades turned out to be a steaming heap of shit that doesn’t even follow the book or give any credence to the source material.
It was extremely insulting to say the least.
The only thing stronger than my anger at Disney for treating me like an idiot was my disappointment in them killing any chance of the books ever being properly made into a movie.
First world problems
This is exactly like Percy Jackson. I he lost all hope of the books getting a good movies. But now we are getting a Disney Plus series! Don’t lose hope Artemis fans!
yea i was so exited to watch it and on its premiere day I watched it and i was pissed
@@imdumbbut1681 at least the author of Percy Jackson didn’t act like the movie was a faithful reproduction of his story or even good.
The White-Washing AND Black-Washing is
astonishing.
You cant tell me its all Coincidence - for that, its too much/many, isnt it??
The fact that they turned it into the “power of friendship” just killed any respect I had left
Edit: Doesn’t that make the sword a Chekov’s gun!
power of friendship is the qorst kind of power because translated to human talk it says the author doesn't know how to write and just wishes that the character was able to win.
I don’t think any movie has ever filled me with this much rage
2010 the last airbender.
Hint: we all try to forget it exists
Personally I got more rage at the Percy Jackson movies but maybe thats just because they are my favorite book series, but yeah when I read just the first book of artemis fowl it was easy to be like: what is that, what is going on here
Mulan 2020?
>He beat a chess champion in 5 moves
That's literally impossible. When a character touted as a genius literally has to break all realistic standards just to be considered a genius, you've made an extremely unrelatable character. Absolutely no renowned chess champion would be defeated in 5 moves unless they were delirious for a majority of the match. They literally could have just said he beat the champ at that age and already it's way better and more believable.
It'd be more impressive to say that he was able to last 100 consecutive rounds against a chess master. That'd show Artemis as a child genius but still be able to improve and advance the character later on. After all, remember that most chess games at a professional level are over in about 20 moves, and if Artie stumped one for that long, we could be impressed.
To be fair that part was in the books too
@@dak_black Yeah then the author clearly never watched professional chess. If the game ended in 5 turns then Artemis would have had to check the pro's king on turn 3 or so. Which again is literally impossible no matter what opening he makes. You cannot reach the king that early in the game, it's effectively not even a piece with any impact until ~8 turns in or around the time both players castle.
Basically Mary Stu logic
@@ApexGale Could have been a scholar's mate. But it's still stupid.
He _says_ "I'm Artemis Fowl, and I'm a criminal mastermind"?!? Holy Hell, that's beyond parody level.
Have you never heard a human being announce their character traits so that everyone understands them? :^)
@@exxon101 vegans maybe? i dunno
@@thewildcard600 Spot on!
@@thewildcard600 ?
The most unrealistic thing is that the smartest one is, the least he says it. A smart genius would never be constantly bragging about it
Fun thing, artemis isn't in anything remotely resembling an action scene in the book. Everything action related is left for Butler to do (which he btw doesn't know is named Domovoi, Butler only reveals that when he is dying later in the series). Artemis is most of the time in the control room with the camera monitors.
I mean, Artemis does have one very satisfying action scene, when Holly gives him a much-deserved punch to the nose. His reaction ("lollilop") is terrific.
I’d be surprised if he shot a gun more then 3 times
I mean, he does get asthma attack when climbing a ladder.
@@Cailus3542 lol and the fact he chides himself because the lollipop reaction wasn't criminal mastermind like
To be fair later in the books he does Use a Gun couple of times
I love when you pointed out how Artemis's genius is never shown to us in the movie and instead we just get a scene of him surfing and be annoying, because the book literally starts of in fucking Vietnam because thats where we get dropped in to the execution of one of Artemis's plans and immediatly get a showcase of his intelligence.
A plan we initially know nothing about, are still amazed by and have a growing appreciation for once we learn more about it later on. The book essentially immediatly hooks you in its opening chapter solely by showing how cool of a character Artemis is.
It is baffling to me how they can take such a good source material and then literally do the exact opposite of whatever is in there. They shouldve just gotten the names wrong too, that way it wouldnt be as much of an insult to the original...
Just read the book. Its a million times better and actually makes sense.
Can attest, the books are amazing
@@nathanielthomas2364 Well it isn't the same story at all.
Let's be honest: even in the books the time freeze and they deal with it (by fucking sleeping) didn't make any sense.
I was let down by this. I loved the book when I was a kid, giving some hype just for Disney to take it away.
Nathaniel Thomas nope the book is very good and i recomend you read it it handles and creates suspense in a very good way and is the only YA fantasy book ive read recently that actually stands out and feels different from the others very very good book
Why does Artemis sound like he's trying to yell but his parents are asleep in the other room.
I mean, don't you do it when you were young?
@@Xport9 Thanks to that I'm still Psychologically unable to scream even if I'm completely alone lol
Everyone in the movie was whispering WHY WAS EVERYONE WHISPERING!?!? Sdkfjrje, it confused and aggravated me so much that no one could talk normally the entire movie. What the hell was up with that??
@@yincenteno298 they think thats good acting
Artermis’ dad doesn’t even appear in the first book. I had honestly thought that he was dead. He’s only brought up by his mother, which I bet they didn’t keep.
This is an interesting accomplishment. It basically pays no attention to the source material, so fans are unhappy. But it also makes little to no sense so any one not familiar with the books would have no idea what is happening or why. The perfect movie to make no one happy... oh and some Race/Gender swapping because 2020.
I’m genuinely surprised they didn’t make Artemis a girl.
@@TaddiestMason Or make him an idiot so Holly could solve all the problems. Despite the fact it would break the entire point of the series.
but all the race gender swapping was almost perfectly designed to make no one happy as well (except the truly devoted Judi Dench fans)
The idea of Artemis Fowl surfing is HILARIOUS.
YES
Artemis in jeans kung fu fighting XD
"Okay, now that L has discovered Faries, what is he supposed to do?"
"Wait, L? You mean Artemis?"
"Ooooh... Yeah, I think we adapted the wrong material..."
"Forget it, nobody will notice. If L can probably surf then so can Artemis."
Knowing that in the book, Artemis Fowl got into a lot of trouble because he was physically inept and frequently relied on Butler to do the physical stuff, it makes the whole thing absurd.
@@OriLOK2 Always* relied on Butler to do the physical work.
But thats Butlers job. Hes supposed to protect Artemis. Its his sole duty.
And the whole "10 years of martial arts, 3 years of combat blablabla was just further disrespect to what Butler is.
Hes been training in Martial Arts his entire life. Hes a former Green Beret. Hes a legendary bodyguard. His entire family has been trained by one of the most esoteric orders of bodyguards in the world. He hates roundhouse kicks(they are unprofessional), the guy is a total professional in everything.
Im not aure where they were going with this.
According to the book "Young enough to believe in fairy's, old enough to exploit them"
This is like the Sherlock-TV-Series where
still countless people are embarassingly convinced
its a good show, even though CZcamsrs,
like 'Hbomberguy' have made whole
Documentarys about it being objectively bad AND insulting
to all Fans;
kinda like Artemis Fowl and Last Airbender.
...I dont know... i just wished more people
would watch and share
this video, so people stop saying its a great show,
when its objectively not.
I despise how they take random elements from the books in no particular order, remove the flaws from Artemis that make those elements drive plots and change, and completely trample the nuanced and multilayered 8 book series about Artemis' growing and changing throughout his adventures (whilst remaining a consistent and believable character) to... get callbacks and references?
That scene at the start where Po (the psychiatrists name is Po btw) is one of a dozen therapists who've tried to crack Artemis as a troubled case study (Which Artemis takes as a game on how to fuck with the therapists effectively) and ends up with Artemis finding people he genuinely does look up to and care about. That statement gives Artemis insight as to the fact that he has a problem he didn't know how to address beforehand, and ends in a tangible and lasting *start* to change in the character.
The rules that bind the world, the growth Artemis experiences and the mistakes he makes throughout the books are just forgotten in favour of... whatever the hell the action and dramafication are in this movie.
As a fan of the books, I was actually surprised to know that it'll finally be having a film adaptation with the author's supervision, but when the trailer came out, I was very concerned with the atmosphere and the changes they did. But I was still excited to watch it. And then I watched it...and as a reader, I was deeply disappointed by the entire film that I just let my family, who just watches movies as a past time, to watch it till the end.
Artemis doesn't feel like Artemis. Butler doesn't feel like Butler. Holly doesn't feel like Holly. The script was atrocious and the interactions doesn't feel genuine. The chemistry between the characters is just not there
"I'm too old to believe in fairies" that's ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS THE BOOK ESTABLISHED! It talks about how artemis is just young enough to still believe in magic but still smart enough to try and exploit it.
The worse insult of it all is that 90% of these problems are here because they cut out the explanation that was in the book...
No the reason there are all these problems is they tried to write a movie instead of adapting a book.
@@themasterseye I mean it is very difficult as well to make a movie adapted from a book, I mean you had the Harry Potter franchise that can feel disjointed at times because you can only put in so much, I think the best example of a book movie would be Hunger Games and that's kind of it.
Basically, if you want a good artemis fowl story, read the book
Why am I not surprised that Disney failed at a simple task, again?
When I watched this I was so mad because they took an amazing book series and mangled it into something stupid
Ah, the infamous adapting a book without actually adapting the book....
They insulted the audience of the movie and enraged the fans of the books in one swift move. Disney insulted everyone with their Fowl.
Disney is an insult. I lost interest as soon as I saw theyr logo. I didn't even have to ask or research the film to know it was going to be garbage
@Gilmare
After the Star Wars sequels, this doesn't surprise me...
Can’t we just call this one Diana Turkey or something like we did with the Peter Johnson movies?
this could almost be a dad joke
You could say it’s... _Fowl_ play
Ha
This movies the worst cast of ‘telling not showing’ I’ve ever seen.
Not according to Disney.
The Last Airbender
A Guy With A Lot Of Opinions doesnt avatar the last airbender show a lot more than it just tells? and when it tells it usually has a reason doesn’t it?
Episode 2's "No, I saved *you* and that's why we're such good friends even though we constantly bicker and undermine each other" stuff was pretty bad, but that was just the stuff to make the characters relevant. This is an entire movie of it. Unbelievable.
Derek Ehiorobo I forgot it existed
Does anyone else think that the kid could have played Artemis well if they stayed true to the books - I mean his delivery was quite good in the therapy session the dialogue was lifted straight from the books (well book 2) that was pretty much the only time he even resembled book Artemis
everything but the part about his mom being dead. last I checked in the books she is still very much alive.
@@kwow3233 oh yeah forgot they talked about that, meant more along the lines of talking about people he admired (or a lack of them) and then shattering the poor man's delusions about his antique chair
@@a.m.s6611 I can respect that
I loved the first book and most vividly remember Butler fighting a troll and winning (think a regular human squaring up with an elephant) and we got none of that, this film is an insult
They couldn’t introduce the Russian mafia because Disney’s investors felt insulted
The Chinese government?
Two easy solutions.
1. Get over it.
2. Don’t make the movie.
ㅇㅈ
@@ODDnanref completely irrelevant
@@Chiayiklin
Yes, but they are technically investors in Disney company. Considering they own part of Chinese branch. Their policy is owning part of any business that happen on their country. Is it not?
Can we talk about the fact that Artemis Sr. WAS IN THE MOVIE? LIKE, HE’S ALIVE, NO PROBLEM??? WHY ARE YOU HERE?? YOU’RE ASSUMED TO BE DEAD!!! WE SPEND ANOTHER WHOLE ASS BOOK SEARCHING FOR YOU IN RUSSIA!!!
they mixed the first and second book which can work (just look at the amazing new Alex rider series) but in this case, it definitely didn't
@@Connor-jl9gq hol' up there's an Alex rider series. Oh my God how did I now here of this
@@PoIy178 yeah and it really good! They took the knowledge from the film that the first book doesn't really work in fuilm form so they combined book one and two and it really works! (So far at least I'm on episode 4)
He's here cuz Disney needed thirsty wine moms and fangirls in cinema seats and Farrell attracts them on the regular, which also explains his transformation from an Irish Gendo Ikari to a loving and supportive Papi.
@@Connor-jl9gq I really enjoyed the new Alex Rider series! They showed that you can combine books, add stuff, change stuff, and make an amazing tv series that the fans like
"He defeated a chess grand master in just 5 moves....." Annnnnd the person writing this bit of dialogue accidentally reveals they've never played a single game of chess in their entire life. I mean do they really expect anyone to believe that a chess grand master didn't realize you can beat your opponent in exactly five moves? I mean you can beat a player in 2 moves if they're really really new to the game but a chess grand master?
apparently it was 6 moves in one of the books
@@ribbonsofnight Lols yeah well unfortunately it's LITERALLY impossible to become a grandmaster if you can't learn how not to be mated in 6 moves. Lols I mean get they wanted to portray him as a genius but this is just ridicullous
@@Demogorgon47 an argument can be made that taking a line from one of the books isn't that stupid though, even if it's close to one of the worst lines in the books. It clearly shows no understanding. It's like saying someone beat an olympic 100m sprinter by 5 seconds. The by 5 seconds part would be absurd.
@@ribbonsofnight Yeah it's all good. I understand. The author and creator's never played the game obviously, it's one of those "Let's go play the arcade machines and drink the grape soda fellow chums!" out of touch moments of a book where the real life ignorance of the author shines through. I mean stories are still written by people and when people don't understand that they don't understand something, the conclusions they can draw can be spectacularly wrong. Happens to everyone. Errors, typos, good ol' fashion misunderstandings, etc.
It was a border controll guard that was very investet in chess, but it is one of the more cheese filled lines in the book.
I still don’t get why if a studio is making a movie that was written as a book WHY THEY DON’T FOLLOW THE BOOKS
The books are way better
I can’t believe Disney ruined a great series. Oh, wait- they’ve done that before.
Sugar Goblin they tried to take a complex supversive masterpeirce and dumb it down to something a 3 year old could understand
COUGHstarwarsCOUGH
@@TheSlammurai I thought he ment percy Jackson
F in the thread for Star Wars please lads
nah that is all they do and we should all boycott disney
"The Earth is FLAT"
"Where are your sources?"
"Dude, Trust me"
This is like the Sherlock-TV-Series where still countless people are embarassingly convinced
its a good show, even though CZcamsrs, like 'Hbomberguy' have made whole Documentarys about it being objectively bad AND insulting to all Fans;
kinda like Artemis Fowl and Last Airbender.
...I dont know... i just wished more people
would watch and share this video, so people stop saying it's a great show,
when its objectively not.
“source: trust me bro”
"The earth is flat"
"Why don't you back that up with a source?"
"My source is that I MADE IT THE FUCK UP"
@@slevinchannel7589 this is spam
When he said that’s it that’s the end, I thought he was joking at first
_”...It says something, yet never tries to back it up... and does so in an arrogant and insulting way.”_ You just described brigadiers on Social media.
"No fairy is allowed to enter while I am alive."
The reason the fairies can't enter without permission is because it's a fairy law. If a fairy enters a human dwelling without permission, then they lose their magic. And these aren't like man-made laws, these are laws of magic.
This is a case of using dialogue from the book, without using the set-up or context from the book. The reason Artemis says that line is to make a trap, to urge the fairies into using their bio-bomb (the faires' ace in the hole) faster so Artemis can win faster since he knows how to escape the time field. A barrier even the faires think is inescapable.
Even in the book there is dialogue to explain it though. I think it's in Holly's intro in Italy when she's meant to call in Retrieval for a troll at a restaurant, but she disobeys Root to go into the restaurant herself by interpreting a child crying "help" as permission. That is used in the book to describe the concept with a bit of narration. This could easily have been tweaked to the movie to exlain it.
LEP: lol lets nuke im
Artemis: haha sleep pills go brrr.
I think that was one of the biggest problems with the film as a whole - "using dialogue from the book, without using the set-up or context from the book". Several scenes came across as the actors for Dom and Artemis (no idea who played them tbh) just reading sections of the book, and then throwing us right back to badly written dialogue which doesn't match the style of sections ripped directly from the book
I haven't read the book and I figured that was the case, but this is a movie. It's different from the book. It needs to stand by itself. If you're going to rely on people's knowledge of the book to guide them through the movie, then why are you bothering to make a movie at fuckin' all?
Yes, I know this, having read the book.
But you can't just randomly throw in bits from the book without any explanation 😂 This film is an insult to both fans of the book AND those unfamiliar with it.
Calling the Artemis Foul movie an "adaptation" is an insult to adaptations anywhere. From what I've seen, there are a few character names from the book, but the story is basically the opposite of what the books are about.
So it's just like How to Train Your Dragon then?
Last Film: We need to save the dragons from the bad human poachers!
Last Book: We need to stop the dragons and ourselves from committing mass
genocide!
@@YamiSpyroX well, artemis is played up to be the hero in the movie. he's actually the villain in the books. so yeah a lot to unwrap.
@@YamiSpyroX At least both the books and adaptations were great for HTTYD, even though both universes are completely different from one another. This - this is just TRAGIC.
@@YamiSpyroX The difference is that, while quite different from the books, the movies made the effort to make sense on its own right by delivering a good set up, building up and growing the characters and finishing with a satisfying conclusion. So on that level you can see the movies as using the books as a spiritual guide at the same time as trying to be its own thing. It is very easy then to love both the books and the movies seperately as their own universes.
Artemis Fowl however...well..I have no idea what the hell that movie was trying to do (Besides profit, of course).
@@YamiSpyroX True, but even if the HTTYD series are not necessarily faithful adaptations, they are at least good films, which I guess is rare. This is just a bad film, period. Even people who haven't read the books can see that.
dude how could anyone beat a chess champion in 5 moves .Did he like shot him with a gun in 5th move.
@Mycroft Lee Yes ,but how can somebody beat a chess champion with 2 move checkmate or scholars mate . Its impossible until that chess champion is drunk or something
@@thaleshnag2597 not even. A drunk chess champion would never lose in 5 moves. Maybe if the chess champion died suddenly after playing 5 moves
As a diehard fan of the books, watching this movie made me cringe so hard I almost went back in time to Middle School.
How did Hagrid get sucked into this
Also, Judi Dench is on a real winning streak. First Cats, now this.
@xMaNrEbOrN78 probably lost a horrible bet
lmfao
@xMaNrEbOrN78 There are also cases where it's done to protect the actors, especially for child actors in R rated movies. The kid who played Danny Torrance in The Shining had no idea that he was in a horror film until he watched it as an adult.
Judi Dench to herself
*I'm about to end this woman's whole career.*
@boulderarms "Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. " ~ Zoolander
Pretty sure Artemis never says, "I'm a criminal mastermind. in the books. He's arrogant, but not that arrogant. Lol.
The prime reason why the books are fun, is exactly because he doesn't need that kind of 'look meh is smart' grandstanding. He simply DOES things that identify him as criminal mastermind, i.e. the very first scene where a 10 y.o. goes full mafia boss on some random informant dude in Thai. Admittedly the book then throws in some exposition about what he has all done, but he constantly backs that up with actual action.
@@alblaka8852 It also shows he does his research (that Jon Spiro incident notwithstanding) in the very first chapter of the first book. He already has everything prepared and the all the knowledge he could possibly need. Of course, the characters, including the _Eurasian_ mountain of a man, also occasionally poke fun at his pomposity and arrogance, such as Holly calling him out for the aforementioned Jon Spiro incident and my personal favourite;
'Here we go, Holly. Are you ready?'
'Artemis! I'm the field agent here,' came the irritated reply. 'Stay off the band unless you have something to contribute!'
'I was just thinking...'
_'I_ was just thinking you should change you middle name to _control freak.'_
Artemis glanced across at Butler, who was lying beside him on the verge and couldn't help overhearing the entire exchange.
'Control freak? Can you believe that?'
'The nerve of some people,' replied the bodyguard, without taking his eyes of the chateau.
@@Lord_Numpty I really need to finish reading the series, I stopped after the one where artemis and holly go back in time to save a lemur from extinction in order to create some medicine with it.
@@TheManBehindTheSlaughter6669 Same
@@TheManBehindTheSlaughter6669 With all due respect, the last two books undergo a massive change in tone. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like those two are part of the same series. Saying that however, there is exactly one twist that partially redeems the series in the last book.
“Time to save the fairies, but they’re not real, are they”. This kid either didn’t know how to act or was given bad lines by the writers because this entire movie sounds like a script reading.
Both
I don't think the issue here is the movie thinks we're idiots. It's more likely the team who wrote and approved the script are idiots.
I think the thing that sums it all up is the safe behind the painting on the wall.
In the books, the safe behind the painting was a fake safe, designed as a decoy. The actual safe was a masterfully crafted tiny safe in the frame of the painting itself - a thief might check behind the painting, but none would ever check the painting itself for a safe. This shows perfectly just who Artemis is, as the safe where he keeps his most valuable items is hidden in a truly cunning place, and an arrogant one at that; it could have been hidden in any random place, but he had to choose the one that would have been right under the thief's nose, but where they would never have noticed it. It also shows off Mulch's abilities as a master thief, as he is able to tell just by swinging the painting off the wall that it's a little too heavy, he guesses that it's a safe, and he's able to use his natural talents to pick the tiny lock and open the safe.
In the movie, the safe is behind the painting, because I guess that's where the safe is. Not exactly the most original and secretive place.
In the books, the contents of the safe is a copy of the fairy Book - essentially their Bible, that contains everything one might need to know about how the fairies work. Artemis went through many, many leads and plans trying to obtain this Book, and the novel is very descriptive about the ingenious way in which he deciphers the Book into a readable language, by reasoning out any links it may have had to ancient human languages, even resorting to printing out the words in the Book, cutting them out with scissors, and gluing them back together in a more legible arrangement to translate. He used the knowledge from the Book to set up the trap to kidnap a fairy, which set the events of the entire series into motion. Mulch finding the Book is a pretty pivotal turning point, as it's when the fairies finally realize that Artemis knows much, much more about them than they had thought, and gives them a sense of just how much trouble they're in.
In the movie, the stupidly hidden safe contains a mcguffin that we never really hear about the capabilities of, save that "oh no mcguffin is really strong guys!1!!". Artemis knows about fairies not because he reasoned it out, but because his DAD did, and basically told him to as well.
The books show things like how important the Book is to the plot and how intelligent Artemis is through going into detail about them and describing proof that backs it up. The movie says "it's important and he's smart", then proceeds to never show why it's important and give all the credit to his father (who, by the way, was missing and presumed dead by all in book one; it's an almost touching plot point where he gives up hope on the search for his father to make room in the operations room for his main plan), which also completely undermines the idea of him being the smart one.
Just that one little clip is enough to highlight the devastating differences between the books and the movie, and how little attention was paid to the source material.
UP
Clearly, we can see where the care and attention was placed and where the care and attention was placed in order to make as quick as a buck as possible.
Now I just wanna read the book again
I dont know anything about these stories except the movie version is awful but this little bit of story telling you just explained from the book was infinitely more interesting and did so much more to develop the characters than an entire movie did for me. Congratulations you can officially write better than a movie produced for millions! Sure you might be just going off of the book directly but its better than the entire movie that could have done the same exact thing.
@@Dire-Locke Well, if you didn't read the book yet - it gets better. Artemis goes for all of it not because of some kidnapping by a villain that does nothing else but to get money, as after his father disappeared (a situation not connected to fairies in any way) finances started to go down, so Artemis decided to get a ransom in gold, as it's something that Book says elves do. So it really shows him in the "kid criminal genius" vibe, not trying to hide his actions behind 'good intentions'.
Basically, every point raised in the video was done properly in the book.
“Worst movie of the decade,” we were so certain. Then Mulan came.
Wow I posted this comment 5 months ago and it aged like fine milk.
Mulan is a classic compared to Wonder Woman 84
@@laartwork Wonder Woman 1984 was super boring but I’d rather watch that than the disgrace that was mulan
@@cheeselover7368 haha well said
@@laartwork Wonder Woman 84 is at least... A little interesting
Mulan is just nothing, it deserves nothing, it's not a movie, it doesn't deserve to he called one.
Somehow I doubt either those movie are The " Worst movie of the decade.”
This feels like it was made for those who read the books and just wanted to see their favorite characters on the big screen.
But then it failed to do that by getting key aspects of characters wrong.
1:54 A girl in a cage, huh?
Kinky; I love it.
One last rant: I get that movie adaptations can't be 100% faithful to their source and that changes have to be made to fit the medium. But it is still incredibly disheartening that pretty much all of the issues mentioned are dealt with in the source material:
-Absent parents: the father had been missing for about a year and the mother had a mental breakdown about it so bad it rendered her almost catatonic.
-Criminal streak: the family had always taken part in organized crime.
-Digging in: it had been shown that sneaking attempts had been thwarted, fairies cannot enter a dwelling without permission or magic rendered them sick, that dwarf had lost a lot of his magic so the effect was much lesser with him. Also, he makes it to the cellar
-Knowledge of fairies: Artemis had been looking into them for a long period of time and only kidnapped one after months of planning, having gotten his hands in the equivalent of the fairy Bible/constitution which literally contain folklore and the magical rules that bind the fairy folk.
Worse than catatonic. She was walking around and cowering under sheets, tormented by shadows and fantasies of a present husband, and couldn't remember who Artemis was most of the time
also from what i remember a lot of these things would have resolved a lot of the issues that were presented in this video
Disney: But don't worry!! You might feel emotion,like sadness or was so his dad is great is and how mom died of something, but don't worry because Artemis delt with that completely healthily, also we can't have butler be scary or anything so we really toned down on what he and Artemis do, but there still cool, right?
Dumb autocorrect I can't communicate anything and the edit button won't work
for the knowledge : there is a cutscene for that.
If Artemis is such a smarty pants then why the hell did he not think that there would be a safe behind a painting?
B.. but there was a dwarf on the drawing
In the books, the whole painting safe was a power move. Artemis wanted the fairies to know that he knew all of their secrets. He didn't care if it got taken because he had a multitude of copies around the world.
@@DA-lr3pc I honestly never saw it that way. I feel like if he wanted them to know it he would've just used a normal safe, and not the safe behind a safe shenanigans. Your view also makes some sense, but I never felt like he thought they'd find it.
I assume that in the movie, he knew the safe was there, but didn’t know the combination himself, so he needed Mulch to open it for him
6:27 I swear it’s as if the writers forgot to take out their editing notes when they were putting the script together. Just… wow lol
This is the worst case of “don’t show, only tell” I’ve seen in my life