To Shelter or Not to Shelter? How to Protect Your Kids | Episode 5
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- čas přidán 7. 11. 2022
- If you’re a millennial you may have grown up with the word “sheltered” coming with a negative stigma. Many parents, in an effort to “protect” their children, end up creating all sorts of rules and boundaries that end up stifling their kids rather than protecting and preparing them.
We’re living in a day and age where most parents feel that no matter what they choose to do-or not to do-the world will inevitably be pushed on their children.
Today, on At Home with the Beveres, we’re taking a fresh look at what it means to “shelter” your kids. Whether you have strongly defined boundaries in your home or you lean toward the free-flowing end of the spectrum, this conversation with Addison, Juli, John, and Lisa will provide plenty of food for thought on the subject!
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We love hearing from you! Drop a comment to tell us what spoke to you in this episode. If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle in future episodes, drop them in the comments as well, and we'll work hard to get to them!
Bevere family THANK YOU! My husband and I have been listening to at home with the Bevere's and we absolutely need it. Please keep doing more on parenting and kids.
Homeschool pioneer Gregg Harris likened our “shoots around the table” to tender plants kept in a greenhouse. They’re not ready for the harsh sun, wind, downpours, and pests that the world has to offer when they’re small. As they grow, they can be kept in a garden and tended carefully so they don’t get too much of any of those potentially problematic substances.
Watching and loving this from Australia! I was praying recently asking the Lord - “Father, help me. How do I raise four Godly children in what is clearly an end times world? How do I give them hope and equip them without instilling fear in them?” Protecting them and yet raising them to be warriors so they are not vulnerable to such an ungodly world, has been on my mind constantly. Evil is accelerating and exposure to it has never been so rampant - coming in all directions in an unprecedented way. I am loving this podcast - it is an answer to prayer! I’ve listened to John and Lisa for two decades. Hearing their parenting wisdom and Jesus inspired teaching based on God’s Word is such a blessing and a timely message that the whole world needs right now. God bless you all for this podcast! ❤
I’m 61. I was lead by the Lord to homeschool my kids. I’d never heard of it. They are now 38, 35, and 33. I did it all the way through. It wasn’t to shelter them. I had no idea why. I just obeyed.
This is so encouraging for me because I never thought I would homeschool. By God’s grace, I have a career and I just didn’t think I could manage working & homeschooling. For nearly, three years the Lord has provided. It has not been a walk in the park. However, God provided. Do you feel like it was beneficial for your children?
Absolutely!! It was good for them and for me.
My husband & his siblings were homeschooled. We're going to homeschool our kids .... I never thought I would homeschool my kids
In a way sheltering is good. But you can't just hold them for life. But it good to give them practical advice on to live according to Bible principles. But parents cannot be too Lenient and too rigid. You can give them a little freedom within the boundaries. From experience I have seen children from parents who were too rigid when they became of age they left home and never came back. But the parents later regretted for what happened
I've been so encouraged and blessed by this podcast! I've started from episode 1 and am working my way up. I was introduced to Lisa Bevere years ago when she spoke at a women's event at Sandals church in CA, and just recently John Bevere gave a great sermon here as well introducing his new book and the importance of living with a healthy fear and awe of God. They're so wise through their obedience to God but also from their life experiences and so so humble. I appreciate the family all being on board with this podcast, and the rest of your podcasts. I'm a mama of two toddlers, and this podcast is life giving. Thank you thank you. May God continue to bless you🙏🏻💛
As parents, our call to "shelter" and homeschool our children was a conviction from the Lord that parenting was discipleship. We looked to Jesus's model of discipleship. We did life and invited our children to walk alongside us as we lived our daily schedule, ministered to others, served the church & homeschooling communities, and participated in local community groups and activities. We talked through their experiences, things they were exposed to, current events, etc. to encourage them to come to us with anything they wanted to discuss. As they developed different levels of maturity, we "sent them out" to experience things independently and then offered to help them process what they encountered. I had many long, late night discussions with them, especially in their teen years! Those relationships built were worth every bit of sleep missed!
We absolutely made many mistakes, but by confessing mistakes and seeking forgiveness, the Lord used even our mistakes.
The best things that I can say about our parenting are that our choices were out of obedience to Jesus, we followed Jesus's model of discipleship, and we enjoyed our children as children and now as adults.
I feel like I'm sitting at the feet of elders tapping into their wisdom for my parenting journey. You're changing generations. Thank you, and God bless you all ❤🙏
These conversations give me so much hope for the future. My husband and I did not grow up in Christian homes. Hearing all of these tips, advice, lessons, and wisdom really inspires me for when we have kids - and how we can be faithful stewards and shepherds of our home. Thank you for doing this!!!
YHWH impressed on us not to worry how our kids will turn out for He is in charge. We also homeschool and going on our 4th yr. Our oldest is 7th grade this coming school year. I was just given a charge to be faithful and to ask for His grace day by day.
I love that you shared the simple fact that Babies are more peaceful and secure when they sense that the parent is in control and that they don’t have to scream to get fed, diaper changed, etc…. But there’s a consistency and dependability that the baby can have and trust in.❤️ love that!!
Can we get more on interdependence?
What is this?
So good. I thank The Beveres for being faithful to God and raising a family that helps others live a satisfying life in this world. Great conversation, wisdom imparted. Thank you
John Bevere said it well. I wasn’t sure where his son was going with, we pray too much. I think his father said it well, we need to pray for our kids always-not too much-pray always in everything. I pray all day in my spirit with the Lord. But God leads our heart to pray over our kids daily and even more in those moments when He lays it in our hearts. Prayer is necessary for our own well-being as well. Good to see the older parents still parenting the adult children. John don’t apologize, you were right! Your son is still young and learning.
I am loving this conversation.
WOW... it seems that the son is exceeding the father????
He really has a good and thoroughly researched and thought out understanding of everything at play here.
I want to note that some kids are mature enough to handle guided 'sheltering' at an earlier age than others.
As the mother of a spacial needs son, I did find it necessary to pull him out of public school, and in the lack of other options, homeschool for several years.
I feel like a was required to employ a stronger (but not imprisoning) type of sheltering.
His high school years, thru age 20, were VERY bad, and somewhat dangerous. Several evils lurked.
AT THE AGE OF 24, HE IS COMING BACK AND MAKING COMMENTS TO ME AND HIS FATHER, LIKE "Is the really what is going on out there? He is just now able to understand, deal with, and try to digest the realities of these days.
The good thing is that he IS able to make these comments and to bring these things up to us, his parents, for validation and guidance. (maybe he sees that his crazy mother has a few things right after all ! That his parents do ONLY want what is best. Maybe we were right about some things after all...)
So, my message here is, PATIENCE!!!!!!!
Sometimes we do have to bring younger children in behind protective walls.
Just know the true boundaries, and do not lock the doors.
Pray... Pray... and PRAY !!!!!
John- I appreciate & respect your being real & not editing out mixing up your grandkids’ names. Not afraid to be embarrassed ioN video. I’m a grandpa and have done that too!
I'm at the 29 minute mark and I can definitely see the Italian family dynamic at play! Everyone passionately talking at the same time! 😂 The same thing happens at my house. I thought we were the only ones!
Hilarious! 🍝
I love what you are doing here. Generationally, this is series is an absolute gem! I love, love, love what Lisa brought up about "Fear is a poor counselor ". In this age of fear (COVID) people live their lives from that horrible place more than ever. God Bless you all as you continue on!
I love how Lisa described her parents preparing her for bullies.
Parents need to have an idea of who their kid is at school, how it’s going for them. Adversity is part of growing up but check in with your kid- know them.
Love what John said about prayer & also his own obedience being a protection for his children. Parents now a days have such a unique challenge with how much damaging things are easily accessible to kids BUT PRAYER is always more powerful than any tool of our defeated enemy.
So Good ! Receiving protection thru Obedience.. and God Does a perfect work thru imperfect parents!!!
Thank you
Spirit Lead life was so powerful and the key 🗝️ and make the difference because you, receives divine wisdom from GOD. Thank you SOO much John for teaching this because its what JESUS said look to him first and his righteousness and all else will be added.
I could listen to your family talk at the table all day long. It Is What attracted me to the first sermon and then the second and then the third I am now binge-watching and taking notes on how to talk to my family any more meaningful way
I would love to see y'all let each other finish what you're saying without being cut off. GOOD content, but omg I think I was screaming at a few of y'all for cutting off pops!
What you discussed at 36:00 about bringing a child into your world is pure gold!! Can you speak more in depth on that in future episodes? God bless you all.
Such a good reminder to seek out guidance in order to keep going and not give into defeat, thank you.
Also, would highly recommend considering other solutions to spanking. The Whole-Brain Child resource helped me tremendously, a gift from God I believe.
I love the explanation of sheltering in love vs fear. I really needed this when our kids were young, but thankful I have it to share with others now. Please keep these encouraging podcasts coming!🙌🏼❤️
YES! Let’s redeem “shelter!” 🙌🏽
Love this podcast. Will you guys address conflict with in-laws? My husband's parents comment frequently on how we don't visit them enough (we visit about once per month), and complain that we see my family more, which is frustrating and untrue. Thank you :)
I live this. We've just decided to homeschool and my biggest worry Is that my kids will be disconnected from the society around them. Please do lots of vids on homeschool!
Never say never. God has a great sense of humor!! And grace , lots of grace. ❤❤❤
Thank you Bevere family for sharing your wisdom about building a godly family. This helps us a lot especially as parents of two young kids. I love how Pastor John emphasized the importance of having Spirit-led life as parents and the condition of a home found in LOVE vs fear shared by Pastor Lisa. May the c Lord continue to use you to produce godly generations. We are Ramos couple watching from the Philippines.
These discussions are so wonderful. Keep it up guys, I really love this. I'm definitely going to apply many of these principles for my family.
First time here!!! Loved it!! Not yet a mum but I’m trusting to be led by God so I can raise sons and daughters of God
I am really enjoying the podcast and this one on sheltered. It is really good, as a single mom it is hard you can only give what you got and if you didn’t get any of the upbringing from your mom or your dad, and if your dad was never in your life it’s really difficult. I am finding it hard to let go of my 19 year old. I feel like I have sheltered her too much but when you have to be both parents where do you go from here this is very difficult. I wish I had made better choices, but I can’t go back. How do I move forward?
Just now seeing this and absolutely loving it!! Our baby is under 1, so I’m extremely grateful to have these resources at this time. Thank y’all for creating this together!
So as a homeschool Mom, how do we better prepare our kids for the world? My kids are still young (8, 6, 4 and 1) we don't get out a ton and when we do it usually is with family or church friends. They do play with neighbor friends often who come from Christian homes, yet maybe have a bit more "freedom" than our kids. I was also homeschooled and I'll be honest, it was a bit of a shock when I got my first job and was in the real world. I was pretty strong in my faith by then (and probably a bit cocky about it😆) Still, I want my kids to have more opportunities to be the light without having them influenced by the world. Any suggestions?
So happy to find this podcast. So blessed with all your knowledge and experience. I need it to raise my son in God's will ❤❤
A good movie to illustrate “knowing your why” (or not knowing your why) -Fiddler on the Roof.
Wow for a second I was going to get up your face about down talking homeschooling....and then you said you now do it. Saved yourself.
This is so comforting to watch,just found this program tonight so informative and so good. May God continue to bless your family. ❤😊
Wow. This was so powerful. Praise God, thankful for y’all’s vulnerability and obedience 🫶🏼
I spent my entire day listening to this channel. I laughed, cried and wrote so much notes. Thank you so much for your vulnerability and pearls of wisdom. I have created a whole plan of action for my own teenage children who have been challenging in this season. I love you guys, thank you!
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing. Please let us know what topics you would like to see in future episodes!
I am learning so much from these videos, thank you! A couple of weeks ago, God highlighted to me some fears I have around reaching out and including someone close to me who hurt me badly in childhood, and is living a life that I don’t always want my children exposed to. I will say God has brought lots of healing in this relationship already, but He has just brought a new layer to the surface for me to work through. A very complex layer that includes me now processing the fact that I am offended because my children have had the relationship they should have with this person stolen, and God is asking me if I truly believe He loves everyone, and how does that shape how I view this person. This episode on sheltering is giving me an interesting space to explore how I allow my children to be exposed to this person and their world, while giving them a place of shelter to discuss and process and pray for this person. Thank you 😊
I Love your family too Lisa and John !!
Love the videos!! I watch them all!
Funny about this one is that at a certain point they all start talking through eachother 😂😂
I think its hilarious! They must be very excited about the topics haha.
This conversation in particular was very rich and deep and challenging. I get so overwhelmed that I allow my kids to have way too much t.v. time. But I want them to be creative and reach their potential
I totally totally totally love this!!! Mom of 3 boys aged 6, 5, 3 and one on the way. God bless you all
I stumbled upon this show and was throughly blessed as I always am by the Beveres!!! I was blessed by the topic and to hear your son come forth sounding like his father! God bless you all for the marvelous work you have done in the body of Christ.
John's comments riveted my soul.... in a positive way.....thank you! Such a great episode!❤
Thanks for this podcast. First time tuning in, and though not a parent, but having done youth ministry, I feel like there are a lot of cross overs. Great information - and I loved the point about empowering kids to go out into the world. I, too, was a "why" kid...and hated "Because I said so". But I am trying to learn the when and where to discuss certain things. Excited for the part 2 of how to healthy shelter kids.
I can't say I enjoyed it... No I thoroughly enjoyed it. Love love love it!!!!! This series is just beyond.... The discussion is such a flow... almost like I get to watch the beveres dinner conversation. The discussion points are so amazing, vital and practical. So grateful... Thank you thank u thank u. Much love
Loving these fireside family chats with lots of wisdom to glean….
So much wisdom to be gleaned here! I love it. Thank you for sharing with us.
Also shout out from one homeschooling mom to another! I too said I’d never homeschool and I’m sure God laughed at that time 😆. I have a 9, 7 & 4 year old and have been homeschooling since my oldest was 4. It is definitely not easy but it is rewarding and very refining.
I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR MORE CONTENT, MAN….but I gotta make some for this series! Seriously, you guys really great stuff here! Keep it up!
This is so good ❤Thank you! I appreciate how real you all are! So refreshing! 🙌
Sem palavras para agradecer por tanta riqueza em forma de sabedoria sendo compartilhada!
Já fui muito abençoada com os livros do John Bevere aqui no Brasil e agora por todos vocês com esse podcast!
Obrigada ❤
Most certainly we parent for the defense and also fear. My 19 year told me we raised her in fear. Every answer was because I said so or it's wrong because Gid said it was wrong. She now has walked away from the church. We are talking more, and I'm learning can't control her. So now when she leaves to spend the night with her boyfriend I just continue to pray. Prayer makes the difference.
I said so is definitely harmful if that is the only parenting strategy. By using the language of accountability we turn it back on them. You say 'if you are choosing to behave this way you are choosing to not have this privilege." And then as parents we do have the authority to tell them what they can and cannot do. But if it's always dictation they will rebel.
This is so good… I’m a single mum and brought three children up…
Bringing them up in church and working , as I had to…
I built them a house so they would feel they had a home…
I gave them awesome birthdays and took them away for holidays…
They walked with God , Then when they got into twenties they wavered….
I love God with all my heart and I fine you are talking in marriage but not single mums
Iike me there is no education…
It’s is so different raising children on your own with our Heavenly Father….
My daughter went to Bible college and was abused by a man in the church…
The hardest thing was seeing her , she was so broken …
Of course he blamed it on her…
She was so broken… She use to sing and could hardly pick her guitar….
I have called out to my Heavenly Father so many times…
My house was full of German students who loved my children….
So, where did I go wrong?
He is our shelter…
He is close to the brokenhearted. First, confess to Him then anyone you trust. Cry out if you have to. Do not give up praying for your all your children. Just be honest with our Father what you would like to see in your life instead. Ask for healing, restoration and that you all remain in His will. Oftentimes He is already giving us the answer (Or already found in the Word) but we do not hear or yield (or open our Bible).
Hanging on every word! So life giving. So validating and so helpful.
I love that this is a sprint not a Marathon! Greetings from the Philippines!
Loving these so so much!
I love The Beveres 💜
Thank you so much! So good and so needed! 🔥❤
This is brilliance for the Kingdom family.
Thanks for this insight. I was imprisoned back when I was growing up. My husband would comment how my parents sheltered me, but that's how my mom was. I didn't learn to swim or to enjoy rollercoasters and didn't travel on my own as far as driving outside city limits. In the name of sheltering. My dad on the other hand said, my mom was raising a wimp! So, I got married young. My parents were both church going Jesus believing people, but my mom had trust issues. Interesting dynamic. As far as my adult daughters, No limits.... fear is not their friend. 😃 I still am a work in progress.
Wow that sounds like imprisonment for sure! No swimming?! Definitely not biblical to parent out of fear.
Amazing podcast!! Really got a lot of value out of this. Thank you for what you are doing. I would love to hear more about going to war in prayer for your children. Thank you again for all you are doing
I love you guys!!!!! I super appreciate all the nuggets on how to raise godly families!!!🎉❤😊
Absolutely brilliant!
Please advise me, I cannot figure out how to get to the first 4 body prior to this 5th video.
PS. Your family is amazing and the wisdom and ways of the Lord and his word and I’m so grateful very very grateful for what you offer our family and many many others. ♥️🙏🏼♥️
Thank you so much!!
This was food for my soul!!
I am really enjoying and learning a lot from these episodes, thank you! I am curious if you could list the couple resources that Lisa referred to in a couple of her comments. Perhaps they were books? (Between 34 mins and 36 minutes in she mentioned a comment from General Rock(?) and then a book I couldn’t catch the title). Thanks for your help!
I am loving this show so much!! It’s been so helpful in our journey of parenthood. Will u guys ever b doing a parenting conference?
Thank you for this!!!😁
Spark has a bit more caffeine than a cup of coffee but it also has artificial flavors and sweeteners (sucralose, which is chlorinated sugar). There are much better choices for amino acids, vitamins, and minerals!
Thank you so much 🤍
Thank you 1000 times. I’m late to the party but this discussion was so helpful.
I really love these videos! I have a newborn and this really helps to put raising her into perspective. Could y'all talk about balancing your time between God, your spouse, and your children?
I found that I didn’t have much capacity mentally for reading when my babies were young (now 4 & 6). I found so much relief when I realised that listening to God’s word was just as powerful as reading it, and it was ok to do that. So I started listening to a book of the bible in multiple translations, on repeat. It helped me to soak in His word, and I would pray through the things Holy Spirit highlighted to me. It also meant that as I was up in the night with my girls, they were being washed in God’s word too. Now we always listen to a Daily Radio Bible Kids and pray on the way to school, and end our day reading kids bibles and praying. My eldest use to have a lot of anxiety, so I started playing scripture based music through the night, and she doesn’t struggle with the anxiety with sleep now.
The thing I found through the years so far, is that the way I spend time with God changes through the seasons, and include your children in that. Prayer out loud while you hold your baby in the night, listen to His word/worship music/Christian meditation, read His word over them. Suddenly around age 2.5/3 you’ll find things come out of their mouths that astound you and show you that they were listening. I love listening to my girls pray for their friends, and their family, for police and paramedics speeding by us, and this morning my 6 yo was singing a worship song that she said was helping her with her desire to have her eyes opened to God and live well for Him today! ❤️🔥🙌🏼 Share you’re God journey with you bubba, you won’t regret it xx
THIS IS ❤️ BEAUTIFUL 🎉
I love listening to your show. Sometimes (most of the time ) I find myself sad and wanting to cry. I was raised in a legalistic home/ church going up and raising my kids. I’ve found I did a whole lot of stuff wrong!! I’m struggling now as an adult to know GODS love! My children are now adults and my husband is not saved. He goes with me to church, he doesn’t stop me from going / praying or read my bible. How do iI move forward?
Great talk ❤
Thank you for such wonderful advice. I really enjoy listening to everything and taking it all in. But sometimes it's hard to hear what is being said when everybody is talking on top of each other.
My oldest daughter ran off after turning 18 and we have sheltered our kids but not as imprisoned like she had thought. She has much and could do things. She was deceived into thinking she was imprisoned and ran to a life completely opposite of how she was raised 6 hours, states away from everyone she knows. Now with my 16 year old daughter it is extremely difficult to give her freedom and find the boundaries that she needs.
Thank you for sharing! Do you think your oldest realizes that she was deceived? Does your 16 year old feel imprisoned? I have two & it is interesting to learn from other parents.
What Satan intended for evil God will use for good. You can trust God with all of your kids. He will never leave them or forsake them.
I personally think a lot of it is a result of oppositional defiance. We had a child with it and he had barely any limits at all (we weren't christians yet), whenever we wouldn't give him what he wanted he had a full blown meltdown even at the age of 9. When we started giving consequences he stopped being so defiant. By using the language of accountability we turn it back on him. You say 'if you are choosing to behave this way you are choosing not to have access to the screen'. Things change quick!
Does anyone know what the book is that Lisa talks about near the end, that talks about how children are at peace when the parent is in control? I couldn't catch the name.
What is the name of the book, Lisa mentioned? Thanks
Can we get another one these for the new year??? So many things coming up
No hay traducción en español ?
I love this!!! Thank you redeeming sheltered and showing the difference between the two, so helpful!
Could you talk about how to handle persecution and suffering? Because I think there's a wave of it coming to America, and I have personally never handled it well, but would love your thoughts on the matter. Thank you, love y'all and bless you for all you're doing!!
All four talking at one time!!! haha. like my family. 29 min mark
i am in full survival mode and my life is very chaotic. It’s hard bc I did not used to be this way. I am a born again believer and back slidden. i feel like I am drowning every day. Trying to make it to the end of each day.
I have been worn thin and allowed the enemy to wear me out to the point of not touching my Bible or ever talking to my Father. I feel like I’m being choked by a python
😂 everything changes when your children are born. It’s sad to think that people feel resentment toward the changes children bring. Children require change in us and it’s not a bad thing. We are moving from childhood to adulthood to independence to relationship with a spouse then to parenting. It all changes, and it’s all good. We have not to allow selfishness control our thoughts and how we view our kids.
Yes please talk in laws and also creating routines and rituals
How do we talk with our kids about the gender issues of today when they are confused?
I gave my children (10 and almost 12) the talk (sex and puberty). It has to do with hormones which causes mood swings and desires. I was able to explain & weave in the convo current issues. I explained it’s normal to “feel” confused but to talk to us and/or turn to prayer. Our Father is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He did not make a mistake and that they, as His children, are “fearfully and wonderfully made”! Anytime they feel confusion is work of the Enemy. Next, address physiological need by learning to listen to their respective bodies. I also make sure they eat balanced diet, get proper sleep and exercise. Many of our issues are actually common sense too. So when Enemy tries to whisper lies and nonsense they are equipped with knowledge of the truth.
I gotta stop you at 17:46 when you quote Romans 7 as the Law incited sin. Bro that is not even accurate.
Read vs 22 where Paul plainly says that HE DELIGHTS IN the Law (Torah) of God (Yah) …
The reason the”law of Moses” was even given to them was because the children of Yisra’el were so far removed from their own heritage and surrounded by and saturated in paganism that they didn’t even know what the LAW OF GOD was. The Torah is perfect and eternal, it is the instruction for living a life in submission to God, go read Psalms 119… The ENTIRE chapter is how wonderful the Law of God is…. The same law that Adam followed. The one that Abraham followed. That Isaac followed. That Jacob followed. That David followed. That Jesus followed. The one WE ARE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW AS BELIEVERS IN THE MESSIAH.
If you love me- keep my commandments… I only do the will of my Father. My Father and i are one… this is how you know me that you keep my commandments and my commandments are not burdensome…..The Most High is unchanging. Jesus did what the Torah was supposed to be…. A sanctification process. What he did for us was become our High Priest, that was superior to the Levites, the priests who were corrupt and disobedient…he became the Intercessor that was perfect and able to forgive sins, as he lived His Father’s Will PERFECTLY, and became the First Fruit of resurrection. The belief/faith that if we are obedient to the Most High and the sWord (Yahsuah/Jesus)made Flesh, then and only then, can we receive the same promise given to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Eternal life and communion with Jesus and the Father. Grace is granted us, grace is the gap filler that was promised to Moses. Grace is the only thing keeping us from perishing from actually transgressing HIS PERFECT LAW. Grace is given to those who are obedient and are still faithful to the commandments, Our Father knows we are going to mess up. That is what GRACE IS FOR. Not so we can just go do whatever we want and say some words and go about our business
Mom's of men? What is that?
Wish you guys would let John speak and please stop buting in. He is full of eisdom
Guys, you might need to consider getting a talking stick to prevent everyone from speaking at the same time....? 😂🦧