r/Bestof I Hate My Cheating Mom For Ruining My Life
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
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0:00 Intro
0:10 Concerns about my ex's gf
5:05 Similar situation in the comments
5:40 Trapped on the balcony
7:40 Mom cheated and ruined our lives
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
The fact that the kid breaks down in tears and immediately apologizes for his mother’s actions speaks volumes, I doubt she misunderstood anything. He’s so used to his mother’s bullshit it’s not even funny. And that take on the ex being a liar, how is that in any way logical if he immediately ended it when he became aware of her behavior?
Its a me Mario
Ikr, from experience, once you see these patterns you immediately go into damage control mode which is exactly what he did.
Yea, it's sounded like a kid who's seen their lives ruined by her entitlement before, ESPECIALLY since he's only nine.
Yeah, RSlash was right that we're missing something, but I think he was way off base with his guess
yeah, if anything, the ex seems pretty decent, at least as far as co-parenting goes. its not impossible that he told his gf that he and op bought the house together *originally*, and she just assumed that he still had partial ownership of it or whatever, and he didn't realize she misunderstood. But based on everything else in the story, I doubt he flat out lied to her.
Given her son’s reaction; this is not the first time Maria has pulled this crap in a relationship. That poor kid is genuinely terrified of losing yet another found family because of his mom’s entitled BS.
It is so strange that the 9yo knew what his mom said was wrong. Marie must be a piece of work.
Ahw, this breaks my heart. The kid is trapped in this horrible cycle and stuck with his mom to collect more experiences of abandonment and probably mental health concerns along the way until he turns 18 and runs...
My thoughts exactly
Okay yeah that does make a lot of sense.
Now I just feel terrible for the kid 😥
I feel for that poor boy. He’s clearly had the rug ripped out from under him so many times because of what his mother did. I hope he gets adopted by someone who cares... 😢
Story 1: Considering the son's reaction, it's not out of the question Maria had done something like this before. You really gotta wonder how much entitlement one can have.
And yeah, it's OP's house, if she doesn't want Maria living there, then she's not living there.
So true!
That story about the mom with 4 was awful. OP had to suffer while her mom got played by OP’s dad over and over again. Then, the mom finally finds the best partner, she throws it away. Even after all of that, OP still loves her mom, but never got to say it. However, OP shouldn’t blame themselves, it wasn’t their fault the mom decided to do that. In the end, all OP can do is move forward, she may have a better chance in life now.
the mom with 3 also op was a guy
The mom didn't played she willing went back.
The mom gets no sympathy from me. She chose her happiness over her kids. She shouldn't have killed herself, but I still don't feel for her, just the kids she left behind.
@@magical_pixie_horse7346 Yup, she was a pretty freaking worthless mother unfortunately for the 3 kids... and now they're stuck in a hostile environment with adults they don't even know! 😕
@Xarosai I agree. While it's sad she did what she did, it's her fault. It's so easy not to cheat especially when you have everything for your kids and life. She ruined her kids lives then left them when one of them got sick of her. It's all so selfish.
Story 3: The mom just straight up wrecked her relationship with OP's stepdad, ruined everyone's lives, and then self-deleted after OP vented his anger towards her.
And we won't even know why she cheated. The step-dad was a good man, and it pains to see him experience so much hurt as well. I think OP's anger really did send his late mom past the No-Return point and that lead to her death, but I can't really blame him, he was mad for having his life fall down the drain
Which shows that in the end she cared about herself and not her kids
Not to mention the OP in the story is/was 16! A teen! Teens usually can't control their feelings and lash out when they boil over, so many nasty things tend to be said during those moments.
@@BadassHater1 you dont know that at all honestly suicide in most cases is way more complicated then you think however calling suicide selfish is realy something that should change and soon because in most cases its not and in a lot of cases the people who stay behind are the selfish ones
@@BadassHater1 She may well have thought her children would be better off without her and just wanted the pain to stop. We have no right to judge someone from so little information, but we can be kind and give her the benefit of the doubt
I really hope the stepdad one day would reach out. It's not the poor kids' fault their mom was a piece of work
I remember this first story and it actually turned out Maria was expecting to baby trap the ex husband and needed OP to hand over the house because they soon wouldn't have enough room at the place they were living. The son was a clue that this behavior was common to his mom. And that's why the vasectomy was a huge issue and why Maria stopped being with ex husband. Him having a vasectomy wouldn't have been an issue otherwise.
Thanks, that gives so much context as to why she acted like that.
@@Samqdf NP, Dabney skipped the comments that pointed these issues out which is kind of necessary to understanding the story. Maria was definitely up to breakup worthy actions. Personally, I suspect she'd been cheating and was already pregnant.
Story 3: Wow that’s one of the most heartbreaking stories I’ve ever heard. It’s not OP’s fault its entirely their mom’s and I hope they can find peace sometime in the near future
My heart dropped when I heard all that. I feel so sorry for the 3 of them
I understand he misses his mom, but I honestly hate her too for destroying the best thing that happend to her children...
I was not expecting something that heavy
I was expecting a wild update given the topic, but not that.
What makes it possibly worse is that most likely, she was cheating on the bio dad as well, which is possibly why he left all those times.
@@josephnorris4095 my thoughts exactly
Despite the result of Story 3, what he told his mother wasn't harsh at all, it was necessary. Cheaters deserve to be called out and exposed at least once given the opportunity. The "mother" simply suffered the consequences of her actions and couldn't bare the weight. No one can blame OP for refusing to help her bare that weight.
Not only that, but something about the whole situation feels like the mom is very entitled and toxic when it comes to the children. Not sure why I feel that way though. Just a weird gut feeling.
I'm actually even angrier at mom after the update: instead of at least trying to help out her kids by giving them a family and a roof (however precarious that was), she took the easy way out, inflicted more pain on the kids and left them in an even worse situation.
@@catbitmaster8216 I feel the same way. I find the following very peculiar:
1. After the mom cheated, it's OP who sleeps on the floor and the two sisters who share a bed while the mom has a bed to herself.
2. The way the mom did 'the thing' in the end, leaving herself in plain view. She must have known that the people who would find her were her kids. The question then is whether or not she even considered what kind of trauma she was bringing down on her kids, and neither answer bodes well for her.
3. She knew dang well that the wealthy husband had lost his family and that it was crushing for him. She knew dang well how important her relationship with him, was for him. And yet she went and cheated on him regardless.
I agree with what you said. As harsh as it may sound, she brought this up on herself. OP shouldn't blame himself for his mom's actions. I hope him and his sisters find a good life.
Yes! 💯 yes!!! The new father looked like the sweetest person for taking in Op and his siblings like that! But the “mother” is such an irresponsible, selfish and slutty person for having an affair and ruining their future! She deserves to be told off
oh my god that last story. get that kid into therapy. rslash, you need happier reddit stories for a little while. spend some time with the kiddo and wife to lighten the mood.
Absolutely
They can't afford food and shelter, they ain't gonna be able to afford therapy
Some Yugo shorts would be great too, maybe Yugo interacting with Lily
Yep yep
how can he get into therapy when he cant afford?
I... was not ready for how that 3rd story ended. I don't often speak ill of the dead, but she really was the cause of the decline in her and her children's lives. And in the end, she couldn't handle that reality and hurt them one last time. Both sad for and angry at her.
No sadness here, just anger and hate. People like that don't deserve sympathy, in my opinion, given that no one else but her kids would be found her dead body. "I've ruined your lives, now I'm gonna scar you for the rest of it and leave you with no one else who would care for you" what a bitch.
fr fr, she fucked them up and took the easy way out
I’m pretty sure the thing that killed her was realizing she had pissed away all of her relationships. She didn’t have her ex husband, her children’s dead beat dad, the boy toy she wrecked her marriage for, not any of her living relatives, or even her own children. She burned the whole ship down with her children on board and couldn’t bare the idea that her kids hated her for letting them drown.
This woman’s life was marked by one selfish act after another, and didn’t care that the last memory her children would ever have of her would be of her hanging or the fight they had the night before.
@@beeziebubs2756 Exactly that, and I'm surprised that fewer people are calling that out. she should have known that the only people who would find her were her kids. She should have known what kind of mental trauma she was inflicting on them. And in case she didn't, then that just shows that she never really considered the kids at any point to begin with, in which case - way to bring shame to the title of 'mother'. Those kids didn't deserve that mental scarring, I feel so bad for them.
@@TWGuardian You know, the jaded part of me believes that she knew damn well that it would be her son who found her and that, in the hours before deciding making this decision, she thought, “Good.” It’s really hard to speculate her thought process because we’ve never met this woman before, but I just can’t shake the feeling that some part of her wanted to hurt her son for what he said. And, if that was the goal, she achieved it because Op really does believe that their fight is what killed her.
And oh my god it just occurred to me that, since this woman didn’t have any contact or relationship with any of her living relatives. She committed suicide not caring where the hell her kids would’ve ended up after she was gone. As far as she was concerned, they had no one and nowhere to go and would have ended up rotting away in the foster system. She really just didn’t fucking care about them.
Back to the original point, realistically speaking, her decision to kill herself probably went down closer to what you said. And, just like any other decision she’s ever made, the kids just weren’t ever part of the equation or were never considered. I’m sure she loved them like any mother should, at least enough to care that Op hated her, but she just really didn’t care about them at the end of the day.
Wow, That last story hit hard. I hope life gets better for OP and his sisters
I hope OP in the screwed up mom story does not blame himself for his mom’s passing. She screwed up everyone’s life. He did nothing wrong at all. I feel so bad for OP and his sisters.
Normally, I feel sad for suicide victims but not in this story. She quite literally ruined their lives, and instead of taking responsibility for it, she took the coward's way out. My hearts go out to the children. They were put in the worst position ever. I hope some day I can be financially stable enough to adopt children like this. They were dealt some the worst cards ever after their birth.
@@fonkengsaliki3015 I agree. In this context, suicide is a cowardly decision.
I mean, what more could she do after that? What point is there in living when you have nothing to live for anymore?
@@mmmm-lg2mj She's responsible for her kids and decided to just leave them via suicide. The kids would be been a good enough reason to continue living, but she didn't care enough about them.
@@magical_pixie_horse7346 if she turned to suicide, I don't think she was even fit to raise 3 kids at that point... Depression doesn't care who it hurts, you kill yourself because your brain makes you think everyone will be better off without you, and eventually you believe that, suicide isn't cowardice but the person genuinely believing they have no reason to be alive. It hurts the family of the mentally ill person but it's not like the kids could do anything to make her not depressed
Cheating mom story: that was a rough story to listen to. Still no sympathy for the cheater no matter what they do. Hope OP and siblings will eventually recovery from this trauma.
Yeah when I found out she killed herself I cheered. Removing herself from the equation so she couldn't drag her kids down any further was the best thing she could've done at that point.
Truly..I feel bad ..
Ya its not even the cheating. She killed herself just to avoid the reality of what she's done to her children. No sympathy for someone that disgusting. But it's still OPs mom so I understand. I just hope he and his siblings can find a way to move on and be much better without her.
Dead beat dad,a step dad who was cheated on, and now the mother commits oof over the guilt... sheesh talk about having it rough
My first comment on CZcams ever I think. That mother made me angry! What a selfish coward. Bad selfish decisions and in the end she lets her own minors alone - suffering the chaos she created.
And why the fuck does the "Dad" not reply to OP?! Can't love the children as much he claimed...
That last story was rough. I kinda hate his mom too, not only did she screw up everything for her kids she then left them at rock bottom.
And did it in a way that ensured her son would find her body, traumatizing him even more (probably permanently).
@@kranberry3318 he was going to find out either way and I don't think her intent was to traumatize him
@@opalowlstowels7888 Finding out and finding the body are two very, very different things.
@@opalowlstowels7888 he found the body. He will never move on from that. That image will ALWAYS be in his head. So yes, she was selfish until the end. At least die where your kid isn’t the one to find the body.
@opalowlstowels7888 no the way it reads and the way she seemed to live her life, she wasn't thinking about anybody except herself. she either wanted them to find her or just didn't care. she's a POS tbh
If I understood correctly, the rich man in the last story took care of these kids for 8 whole years, happily accepting them as his own children - and then left them to sleep on the floor and go without meals, even though he is very affluent, because of something their mother did? And didn't even have the guts to tell them that he's going no-contact, he just ghosted OP. I truly wish the best for these kids; this story is terrifying
Yeah, I’m honestly surprised by all the comments supporting him. He was essentially their dad, and he abandoned them. I get that being cheated on is awful, but geez. Also, the way he told OP was scummy. I was actually expecting to learn that he had lied.
At the very least, he could have set money aside for them.
@@test-kf2zv fullyyyy agreed, like goddamn bro just because their mother cheated on you, you're gonna essentially throw those children out and let them starve, and refuse to ever talk to them again.
Either we're missing serious context or that step dad is just as big of a monster as the mother
He didn't adopt Them, and we don't know the divorse agreement.
Leagally, he couldn't claim parental rights, and maby mother dearest bloked his acces to her kids? Who knows.
@@hellefur7861 on top of that maybe she cheated on op's father and since he was known and not contacted as a relative maybe he is not op's bio dad.
I didnt think I will find a comment saying that the step dad was in the wrong.
But I can see his point of view, he spend 8 years of his life taking care of those kids, see them as his own but imagine how hard would it have been for him.
He lose his wife and kid, meet someone new and then he get cheated on. I'm sure everytime the step dad would have looked at the kids he would have been reminded.
Also the step dad lost his best friend too.
Story #1: I get the feeling Maria has pulled this kind of thing with other partners in the past, explaining her son's reaction.
Poor boy, he is getting ready to cut her off soon
I get that feeling too
That poor boy is going to be so traumatized when he grows up, if he doesn’t get saved soon. He’s gonna have no backbone to stand up for himself and is gonna be in so many terrible relationships, and it’s all because of that entitled mother... 😢
@@Tustin2121 or worse, he is going to end up like the kid in story 3
Yet rlash finds a way to turn it on the ex husband and blame him as well??
Story 1: Her son knowing it's wrong and bursting into tears when she's bringing it up, would indicate that she hasn't misunderstood anything, but most likely just entitled.
That last story took a turn but I hope OP forgives himself soon. It's not nor ever will be his fault for what his mum did.
First Story, NTA: This lady just out of nowhere asked when OP is going to move out of HER own home? I would definitely bring this to the ex's attention. Well then, Maria's entitlement got exposed and she lost OP's ex because of it. I wonder why the son was so apologetic for his mom though
Comment: Yeah, OP's aunt became entitled overtime. That is obvious
Second Story: Well...thats awkward lmao. I wonder why he needs the 85 in tv for that. I’m really convinced at this point that the older u get, the less u really care about things and just wing it. All I can say OP is good luck 😂
Third Story: I remember this story. OP's mom didn’t make a lot of good choices and I honestly don’t blame how OP feels. OP's mom should’ve made better choices. Yeah, this story got really dark. I’m sorry for OP's loss and there isn’t much OP can do. None of what OP's mom did was OP's and the sister's fault
Guaranteed not the first time he's seen her do it
Story 3:
My mom did the same, even when I told her I loved her, and hugged her every time I saw her.
Adults are reponsible for their own actions, and parents should never have to rely on their children to live a decent life.
Wow I’m so sorry that happened to you. Heartbreaking for you and op in the story. I hope you both get the counseling you need
@@Serin243 She was apparently Bipolar, and chose not to get help.
Therapy helped us all a lot ☺️
I’ve heard that last story and its update before, and it’s just as heartbreaking as it was the first time I heard it. What an absolutely selfish monster that mother was, to not only cheat on the man who was giving her kids a better life and basically ruin their one shot at a decent future, but to then go and off herself leaving her kids with no parent whatsoever…I could sit here all day and type out every insult in existence, and it STILL wouldn’t be enough to convey my outrage towards that woman on the OP’s behalf. I truly hope that OP makes it out okay on the other side of this whole ordeal, and I really hope that the former stepfather will get in contact with the OP at least when they turn 18 and re-establish some sort of relationship.
You know what's worse? Who did she think would have found her like that? It would have most certainly been the kids. Like wtf?!? I've ruined your life now let me scar it forever? Selfish to the inth degree, holy F$&CK!
@@casbinwat She chose for the oldest to find her. She sent the 2 other away so she knew what was going to happen. How messed up this is to deliberately make your child find your corpse?
I do wonder why the stepdad didn't take care of the kids when he clearly could and was apparently really happy to be a dad.
@@snake5solid honestly? Between his former family dying, and then being cheated on, losing a best friend and wife... I wouldn't be surprised if he offed himself as well
Not only did she do that, she basically sent them into the system which is exponentially way worse then where they were.
@@snake5solid ew yeah, you make a good point she might have done that on purpose to make op see that. thats so disgusting if thats the case.
That kid in the 3rd story was entirely justified in telling his mom he hated her. She literally ruined all their lives and then killed herself, avoiding all responsibility. What an awful person. I hope OP and his siblings find peace.
That may be one of the saddest and most depressing stories I've ever heard. Certainly on this channel. I hope those kids find some peace in their lives soon.
Story 3: The mom cheating when she and her kids finally have a good life, talk about tempting fate....I hope the OP gets therapy because that ending was horrible and he shouldn't have to bear so much on his shoulders
Damn she even selfishly kills herself to avoid responsibility and makes the son feel bad. Quite literally one of the worst outcomes.
Yeah. I was terrified of anything happening to my Mom, because my Aunt and Uncle were basically Vernon and Petunia Dursely. And I am not kidding, there was a tiny room under the staircase in their basement. (This was in the late '70s/early '80s for reference.) I could totally see that becoming my room if I ended up living with them.
rSlash "I'm not trying to defend Maria"
While stretching hard to blame the ex husband in order to defend Maria
Just Rslash casually simping.
Happens from time to time.
Like dude you have a wife you don’t have to mindlessly support all the women you read about
Hahaha put it perfectly, ex does nothing wrong at any point in the story. “Yeah I can’t help feeling the ex husband might be lying here” 😂 💀
Story 3:
This hits closer to home than i thought it would.
I was in a similar spot to OP. My father and mom were divorced. As a shit head kid, whenever he came to visit i acted like i didnt want him there(he cheated and did coke on the dining room table)
His life kept spiraling. Eventually he also took his own life. Its so hard to not self reflect and go through every interaction in your head. Thinking "what if I was nicer here? What if I said something different. What if I did something different?"
Thing is though, I was a kid. This was like 13 years ago. Its much-loved better now, but sometimes I just wonder..... what if?
I give so much sympathy to OP in the last story because they had no way of ever really knowing that his mother mental stability until it was too late. Mine is nowhere near the level OP had but still can see how it would feel.
I remember the day I fought my father over something and it reached a point I just yelled at him and vented how much I hated him always favoring my older brother and even sister while I was in last. How no matter what, I was always the spare child or the last backup plan. He was forget my birthday and even how old I was, and for context my birthday is both mother's day and their wedding anniversary, but somehow my birthday was forgotten. How he would forget to pick me up from school, or just even doing stuff with just me and not my siblings.
He left the room and maybe 10 minutes later my mother came in and was ready to scream at me. How could I do such a thing to my own father and I need to go apologized immediately or I'll regret it for my entire life. He never once pictured one of his children hating himself so much for his own actions. He drank himself into dangerous level and tried to leave the house in the car at night because he didn't care.
I still hold some resentment because he never apologized for anything he ever did and that my own mother came at me but can see what her message was if something DID happen then I would hold that for life.
I feel like you're NTA in that story. He needed to hear those things if they were true. And if you didn't phrase it the most calmly in the heat of the moment, well? It also wasn't very diplomatic of him to overlook your birthdays! People just can't always choose how they hear harsh truths.
I literally told mine that i would never give him descendance, and even on his death's bed i held that promise.
Whatever your dad would've done after you told him the truth would be on him and him only, and honestly would only further confirm his lack of character. Your father's inability to take accountability for his own mistakes isn't your fault and you shouldn't have to feel bad about it
Did your father seriously tattle on you to your mother? You had completely legitimate complaints (also, you should've yelled at your mom too for forgetting your birthday as well - she pushed you out of her on her birthday, kinda hard to forget.) Seems to me neither of your parents treated you well, so I hope you're doing better now.
@L S Covarrubio My mother would remember my birthday, she would give him reminders of it too, but sense I wasn't the golden children I was dead last in everything. As for the tattle part, I'm sure he heard him crying, and I was the only other person in the house as my siblings were at sleepovers.
With time and not living with them, it's been a very slow mending on their end. The wake up call was me leaving at 18 to go across the country to live with a person I met in an mmorpg then spend my life in the same sad loop. We are engaged now, but they still want me to move back.
Okay, fully admitting for the last story. I was expecting the bio-dad to show up again when OP's mom was remarried and be all, "Oh my Ex has come back to me! Later loser!". But...damn, I did not expect that ending. I hope OP is doing well. Walking into a suicide scene is NEVER gonna leave him. My heart goes out to OP and his siblings.
Honestly I don't think that the guy is op's bio dad and that she cheated on him and that is why he left, especially since he was known and was not contacted as a relative.
The last story hurt. A lot!!! I was 13. My sister 18 and very unwell for years. We fought all the time. The last thing I said to her was how much I hated her for messing everyone’s lives up. She isn’t here now to hear me apologize and say how sorry I am for not understanding how sick she was. If I had understood then what I do now, I would have done anything to help her. 😞
I'm so sorry
Siblings fights are a part of being a family. Given your regrets, it's obvious that you loved her and I'm sure she knew that.
The last story, you cannot blame yourself for the choices your mom made. Clearly there was something more serious going on. I hope someday OP can get the therapy they need.
That last story. I usually listen to these while I'm getting ready in the morning. When he hit the bleeped out part I had to stop for a few minutes. That poor kid. His sisters and him don't deserve all the bad that has happened to them.
That last story was insanity, I was thinking wow I don't blame her for saying those things to her mom but then she unalives her self and op is left now in an even worse spot. It's so crazy how something as simple as taking a toxic x back can do to a person's life.
Op was a guy
*him. OP mentioned being a groomsman at the wedding.
Seeing how she easily cheated on the stepdad I believe that she had originally cheated on op's father and that is why he left, it is also plausible that he is not in fact op's father since he was known by op but was not contacted as a relative.
My Aunt's first husband. "But, I love him!" He trashed her life to the point she never got back to the socioeconomic status she grew up in.
The mom in that last story is even more evil for that last action. Not only did she ruin her kids lives, but she left the world by abandoning them and ruining it one last time on the way out.
That last story was uncomfortably close to my own history. I feel for OP. He's entitled to his anger, for his mother was clearly a selfish woman. She wanted what she wanted, and screw the consequences for everyone else. Even quitting life was selfish. I understand what it's like to be at that point of hopelessness, been there more times than I can count, but the people who depend on me are what has kept me around, and I don't even have 3 underage kids with no other family or resources to think of! I just can't get over how selfish the mom was. Yeah, I have sympathy for her, but also... disgust?
I understand the anger, and the guilt at that anger. I've been through so much trauma and privation because of my mom's dumb, selfish choices, but I tell myself that she's doing the best she can with what she's got. Like OP said, she has her flaws, but she's my *Mom,* and I still love her.
(Note: In my case, my mom is still alive, and our step-dad is still in contact with us "kids". It hurts him to see my mom, though, so we don't see him in person but once every 5ish years. He's actually helping to support me now that I'm disabled and a professional patient.)
OP's mom was a terrible mother. She just rage quit on life and did not even consider how her kids fend for themselves without her. She was so selfish that she did not even care for what OP and her daughter feel until their life is miserable again only to quit because she can't live with the decisions she made.
She should rot in hell for leaving her kids like that.
Right?! Instead of realizing how much it affected her kids future and to change for the better, she chose to use OPs words as ammunition to end everything and effectively ruin their lives yet again. Some may sympathize it with mental illness but I'm struggling to see it other than selfishness
The problem with being a narcissist is it's hard to do if you're a waitress with 3 kids in a one bedroom apartment... but she found a way, for a while anyway.. until she table flipped on life and stuck her kids with the bill
@@shykorustotora She clearly needed help and was suffering from mental illness but there is no proof she was a narcissist. Are you a therapist? Did you diagnose her? No? Then stop.
People throw the word narcissist around like it's going out of style and it's incredibly harmful and stigmatizing.
Last story:
It's not OP's fault. Honestly, it sounds like the mom had a severe case of manic depression. Her life fits the pattern to the point of becoming a cliche. She's in love with a dirt bag, he runs out on her, she hates his guts, he comes back, she's in love again, he runs out, she hates him, he comes back, she loves him... She has three kids, and went into waitressing. Most people under the weight of supporting their children would set their sites a bit higher than that, try to get a job with consistent hours and pay. I suspect this occurred to her as well. But when you're riding those highs and lows, a more substantive job can be impossible to hold down. She finally meets a decent guy, she's happy, her kids are happy, the guy is happy, and she compulsively finds a way to self-sabotage. She's aware of what she's doing and can't help herself, that is the nature of compulsion. This is the kind of story you would hear in a psychiatry lecture as a textbook example of manic depression / bipolar disorder.
She was also in therapy during her marriage. Was she prescribed any anti-depressants? If her divorce and subsequent financial issues resulted in her stopping them abruptly, that can cause extreme depression and suicidal tendencies. I'm not saying that happened here, but it wouldn't be the first time, or even the ten thousandth.
His words didn't "push her over the edge", that's really not how the mind works. Paradoxically, most people in those situations get defensive. Even if they don't vocalize it, in their minds they push back by finding some rationalization that isn't their fault. That's what makes the difficult to treat, they reject help because they don't think they need it... they're not the problem in their own mind, and the more you tell them they are, the more they dig in their heels and refuse to budge. Ironically, empathy cuts deeper in many cases than criticism.
There's no sense in torturing yourself with "what if" scenarios, because you can't know the outcome of differing circumstances. OP wants to be a doctor. Maybe Psychology and Psychiatry are a good fit. He's got questions... lots of questions. How did it come to this? How could she do that, and all the other things leading up to this? How can he make sure it never happens to himself or his sisters? He may find the subject very interesting, or at least find some comfort in learning that his is not a unique experience and that his actions likely did not contribute to her decisions. Being a broke single mother didn't stop her from having another kid, and then another one after that. Reason wasn't a part of those decisions. Being loved and happy and seeing her kids flourish didn't stop her from cheating. Again, reason was not a factor. Why would it be in her death? Compulsive self-destruction was her nature before OP was even born, so why attribute this situation that perfectly fits a long established pattern to something external now? It's normal to wish he hadn't said those things, but that doesn't mean they were the cause of her actions.
He should look into becoming a psychiatrist. A story like this will pay for that education in the form of grants and assistance from sympathetic academic advisors. It'll give him the answers he's looking for, and even allow him to help others to avoid these situations in the future. Some good can still come of it. It's time for him to do what his mother never could, stop living in the past, stop being swept away in the present and start focusing on the future. She couldn't see a future for herself, OP doesn't have to make that same mistake. Choose a path, stay focused on that, but don't expect everything to go to plan. Instead trust yourself to improvise when it doesn't to keep the big goals in focus. That's all you can do, and frankly, it's all you really need to do.
I don't think that the guy was a dirt bag but a doormat who got some guts since it is highly possible that he is not op's bio dad and that she cheated on him and had op since he is known but not contacted as a relative.
Jeez, my heart breaks for Op. I know he's really going through it but I hope some day he can realize and help his sisters understand how fundamentally to the core selfish their mother was. In every single way. For continuing to have too many kids, for not being able to keep it in her pants to atleast get one kid into college, AND for leaving the entire bruden on her sister's family now and Op. The very last decent thing she could have done was die somewhere else (I know this sounds incredibly harsh but my dad killed himself and the last time I saw him.. will never leave me or my uncle who was there) and she couldn't even give Op that tiny sliver of "I'll save him the trauma of finding my body". We all have past issues, some worse than others, its not an excuse for anything she did to those around her. The only thing I might give her the benefit of the doubt on is maybe in her diluted mind she thought if she died the kids would go live with stepdad, maybe, but even in my deepest throws of depression not knowing what will happen to my kids keeps me breathing so...idk but she was just rotten.
My heart goes out to those children in the last story! To the OP stay strong and I wish for you and your siblings love and strength to climb above this sad time in your life!💞
For the first time rslash has me in tears. That last story was hard. I'm so sorry that happened to OP, it is not his fault his mom unalived herself. Eventually things are going to be easier. 🤗❤️
i have no sympathy for the mother she dug her own grave
That mother had to be the most entitled person ever. They didn't at all think about any other person besidea themselves. Didn't care about op, her siblings, her now ex husband. Only what made her happy. She could not just once think about putting others above herself even til the bitter end. Instead of owning up for her mistakes and trying to fix things with her kids she took the selfish way out and even then didn't care about her kids and what would happen to them or how they would feel. Absolutely disgusting and disgraceful.
Okay rslash, the first story. Why would the husband break up with the girlfriend, if he was telling her that it's his property, he specifically broke up with her because of her entitled actions......
Story 3: The mom self-sabotaged her and her children’s entire lives and just couldn’t take the consequences. It’s sad, but some people are just like that. They rely on everyone else to pick up their pieces, and when OP didn’t want to do it anymore the mom abandoned them. I don’t think anyone deserves death, but i have no sympathy for a mom who constantly made her children’s’ lives worse to satisfy her own insecurities. She was such a coward she couldn’t even face her own actions and now her children will have to take that pain in her place.
I'm not sure what the mom's issue was but she needed SOMEONE to tell her the truth. Sucks that she went that route but she made consistently bad decisions all the way to the end.
Rslash: I’m not defending Maria
Rslash: Proceeds to defend Maria
That last story, OP needs to try and get into contact with their ex-step-dad.
That might be one of the last chances they get to salvage their lives with the way its heading.
Otherwise, it sounds like all three of them are in for an early grave.
Story 1 - Whether it belongs to solely OP or OP and the husband, the new gf/ex has no claim to it. She's an entitled a.h.
Gods that last story hit hard. I truly hope OP and their siblings find the happiness they deserve, what their mum did to them was just… I can’t find the words. OP seems like a very strong person and I genuinely hope they can forgive themselves, because none of that was their fault. I don’t blame them for going off on their mum the way they did. Even if that *was* the reason, they shouldn’t blame themselves. Their mother was selfish, right up to the end.
If it actually was the reason then once they recover they’ll be better off without her.
@@RealCoolstriker64 Agreed
The update for that first story was…confusing, but I’m glad rSlash included the other story. The husband having a vasectomy and not wanting to marry in no way explains his girlfriend’s behavior, nor does it explain her child running interference for her. Something big feels like it’s missing here. Maybe it is that the husband lied to her or maybe sometimes people really are just that nonsensical. IDK
If the child knew it was wrong there was no lying going on
If there was lying he would have asked Op to move not break up with the gf after he knew she asked.
Exhusband lying makes zero sense.
He also has standards I think everyone forgot from the start...the gf just got past the stages before turning crazy.
Him having a vasectomy means that they would not need a bigger house because they’re not having more kids
What’s wrong with you people trying to blame the ex, there is no evidence whatsoever for it yet you default to thinking he’s lying? Why? Because he’s a man?
@@MinusTheCoffee right! Even Rslash was reaching...this is soley on the stupid gf who clearly didnt listen to anyone about how they split assets and assumed she could guilt trip OP.
The childs reaction is very telling.
@@Ilovepink4lyfe14 that does make more sense. Still it’s just so weird, to just assume she’d be taking over someone’s house without someone even suggesting it.
Story 3: people get dealt a bad hand in life, this was not it. This was a person who only cared about herself. Not about her kids, not about her loving husband, just her. The last decision by her was the most telling of it all, you do not just leave 3 kids to survive in the world on their own. As someone who's seen the effects of seeing someone you love hanging from the ceiling, this woman was disgusting.
Story 3 - Wow. Just wow. Heartbreaking and devastating. Wow.
Idk, man. I feel bad for OP. He's going to blame himself for this forever.
What a selfish, evil woman. I hope OP can get the help he needs.
@@clevergray8754 yeah and then she kills herself making OPs life even worse like I’m sorry but if you are a mom your kids come first and after your kid’s lives are ruined you make it worse by killing yourself like she is so evil and selfish
My mom cheated a lot growing up, that messed me up a bit. She tried to end it as well and that messed me up. She was abusive in many forms. I'm no contact and if she passed idk how I'd feel bc she's alive now and idc. That story brought lots to me emotionally but rslash is right imo that the mother made all those choices
Story 3: I feel for everyone in this situation. I think this is why we need to give more grace to people and also to ourselves. OP isn't to blame for his mother's decision to take her life. The mom was a flawed and sick woman who needed help but didn't have the resources for it. I wish she wouldn't have cheated on that good man but I wish she would have given herself grace to recognize that she made a mistake and her family is hurting but in time she can work toward a better future for her children. We all need to recognize that at the end of the day humans aren't perfect, we all make mistakes and that doesn't mean the end all be all for that person. I hope the mom is at peace and I hope OP and his sisters will be able to find the help and resources that they need to work through this hard time.
I hope the mom is burning in hell
@Shykorus Totora Oof my dude, who hurt you?
I think it was very harsh of the step-dad to tell the children he loved them, and then cut all contact with them. It is like he blamed them for what happened. He could have adopted them early in the marriage as well. But instead, he left them to suffer.
I know he got cheated on but... well, the kids he did abandon the kids he said he loved.
@Ikajo That is true, and tbh I think that all the adults in their lives failed them. It is beyond sad and it hurts my heart that OP takes it so personally but I understand why he does.
@@Ikajo dude, stop.
if read the article you would find:
Day 01: Divorce is finished (1st Post)
In between: OP tries to contact step-dad
Day 30: Mom off herself.
Day ~35: 2nd Post
We still don't know how this story ended, maybe step-dad contacted OP after being know about ex's death, who knows? OP hasn't made another post due to the account being a throwaway.
Image having the best husband in the world who showers you and your kids with love and all kinds of gifts.
But you STILL decide to cheat.
Some people are just like that for many reasons, none of then good. Sometimes they just don't realize they had it good. Sometimes just for the thrill, others because just plain selfishness (though the choice to cheat is always selfish)
Story 3: Jesus, I heard of very heartbreaking stories before, but this just takes the cake to me, holy sh*t.
RE: Mom Cheats/Ruins Lives - (Long Response)
Wow, this situation is kind of close to what I went through as a kid. Dad starts a film production business (making actual film, not media) and my Mom fresh out of college starts working for him. Things go well, they marry. Older sister gets adopted, then me 4 years later, and 4 years after that the pair sire my younger sister. It was around that time I couldn't help but notice the mood had soured. I might have only been 5 but I vividly remember how cold everything had gotten. It would be years later I'd find out on top of having an affair on mom, Dad had this odd fixation with Mom's eyebrows. He told her to get rid of them, she refused, so he SHAVED THEM IN HER SLEEP!
Dad had an affair with a Pan-Pacific Islander woman. Mom started to get the idea rather quickly why Dad had this obsession with her eyebrows. The pair got divorced very swiftly afterward. This arguably ruined my life. I had two houses, two bedrooms, two schools, two sets of toys, and double the trolling/bullying from my classmates. Oh the disgusting and filthy things they said about my Dad and why they think he started dating my step-mom made my skin crawl. Kids are cruel, but this was some Stephen King levels of bullying.
Then, in 1993, while running/operating his helicopter business in NW Oregon, dad had an accident while flying. He crashed, but was a damn-good enough pilot he wasn't injured. That helicopter, was his life. Its no different than someone wrecking their semi on a drive that they owned. Dad's girlfriend decided that since dad had no job, that the perfect time to dump him was while we were visiting his parents (my paternal grandparents) about 1000 miles away from home. Nobody, and I mean nobody, had sympathy for my dad. Not Grandma, not his brothers, especially not mom. The last time I ever talked to my dad, he woke me up at 4am, to talk. He sat at the end of my bed, staring out the window in the guest room of Grandma's house where I had been sleeping. He told me he loved me, and that he has been an utter failure at everything: business, marriage, relationships, and as a father. I was 10, what else could I say other than he just has to keep trying, and never give up. He said I was sweet for saying so, but then said the last thing he ever said to me alive.
"Your Mom's side of the family are big Navy buffs. So, lash yourself down, there's a storm coming."
Well, he gathers us all up, ends the vacation early, and he made the drive home in 1/3rd the time he'd used to get us there in the first place. Then, he did "you know what" to himself.
Those bullies, only became worse to me. They said it WAS - in fact - my fault. Had I not existed at all, then he wouldn't have done it, bla bla bla. I was physically and socially attacked every single day because of what Dad did. For two years, mom had to work between 12-20 hour days just to support us. Dad's side refused to help, saying that of all things, Mom's "failure to satisfy Dad" in any real meaningful way caused him to cheat, and thus sent him on that downward spiral. Mom's side of the family still wasn't happy that she'd gotten a divorce because they're Irish-Catholic. So, yeah, Dad's actions f'd over my life, and then he ended his own.
That last story was rough. I really hope OP can pick themselves up from it. They clearly have a strong case of survivors guilt, and I hope that they can get the help they need to overcome it, same for the younger sisters as they get older. There is no way the mother didn't know and carry the true weight of all of her decisions and how it hurt her children. I honestly think she would have taken her life soon enough either way, which is tragic. Did OP push the final straw? I mean, maybe. I strongly believe she asked for OP to talk to her as a sort of last grasp to try to find some lifeline, or semblance of sanity, or reason to keep going. However, OP is not responsible for the consequences of the mother's actions, and they have their own mental health to think about. OP was fully in their right to say what they did, especially after all they went through. Best wishes of good luck to them all.
Last story: Poor OP needs to realize the mother's decisions were her own. She hung herself for her own reasons not because OP.
Story 3: apart from the mom’s end, which is heartbreakingly sad, as a person with two incredibly loving stepparents, I’m kind of floored by the stepdad’s treatment of the kids after the cheating. Like yeah it was the mom’s choice to cheat. Not the kids-if anything ever happened to my real parents, I know both of my stepparents would still see me as their child. The fact that this guy just-ghosted OP and his sisters is so hurtful.
I can't blame him one bit, honestly.
His first family died tragically, his second was nuked from orbit by what he thought was his loving wife and best friend. What's more, unless he formally adopted them, he likely had 0 legs to stand on legally in having time with them, let alone taking them. This means he has no way to keep them in his life, and by my guess there was a prenup with the marriage. If he kept in contact, he would be forced to pay child support to a woman who took his family away a second time likely as not given how screwed up the family courts are.
In short, he's in a no win situation with only a slightly better outcome for him. Either he cuts them out, and the pain that the mother has caused in which he loses the kids, or he tries to have a fatherly role, gets screwed into paying child support for kids he has no right to even see, and still loses the kids.
@@katiebroderick3498 I’m sure all women, including you, would love the security and assurance that if you cheat on your new partner, they will still take care of your biological children.
This isn’t a perfect world, and that’s not always the case. Besides, it cost 0$ to not cheat and rip apart your family.
I’ve been watching since the first episode of the podcast. Very lucky I found rslash
Story 3: That... that was rough, I've read and listened to some hard-hitting stories, but this, oh my god, I don't think I can even approach this. I feel so bad for the kids.
I feel sadness at the same time as anger when it comes to the mother, they say don't wish anybody death. But in this story, I cannot wish death nor life, this woman ruined the life of her 3 children and then ended her's.
This simply cannot be explained in emotions. It is an incredibly sad story.
I saw completely where the third story was going unfortunately. I knew the mom would be the cause for the entire family burning down again and with the issues that were made blatant in the story, the outcome was way predictable sadly. I really hope OP finds a way to an amazing life through their struggle
That last story...
I only feel sorry for the kids, but not for the mother. She and her children were given good things and she threw it all away. I want to say it's sad to see her do what she did, but she made everyone's lives miserable. I have no sympathy for such people. And to think she got therapy...
I will say though, it is possible the mom suffered from some kind of mental illness. Like borderline, which can manifest as severe depression and anxiety attacks. There is also a tendency to self-sabotage.
Borderline isn't something you inherit, instead, it is something you develop from trauma.
She really does sound mentally ill. And I think op's dad seemed to have contributed to her breakdown. Some people live sad lives for no good reason.
That mother who took her own life...
Imagine being told you've ruined your kids' lives through being self-centered and then, rather than trying to fix things, you just remove yourself from the picture and not tell anyone that you're even considering it so you know your kids have a chance. This was about avoiding responsibility for her actions.
Yep. My mom tried to do something similar when my dad found out she took out credit cards in his name
Nothing in the story even hints at something:
Rslash: *insert completely imaginary thing that's neither mentioned nor hinted at*
There are many things I could say for story 3. All of them would probably get my account deleted so all I'll say is I wish that despite everything OP and his sisters gone on to have a happy life that they deserve everything all that shit.
Plenty of kids tell their parents they hate them. Not every parent ends themself over it. It's heartbreaking to know that woman's last act of abuse will haunt her children forever.
I’ve never cried during an rslash episode. That last story was absolutely devastating.
The mother from the last story doesn't even deserve to be a called a mother.
The job of a parent is to ensure their children live and have successful lives, even if they have to sacrifice themselves to do it.
Not only did the "mother" ruin her kids lives and put them through a traumatic incident, but didn't even try to make it up. She decided to abandon her kids and further scar their lives. Losing both parents is something no kid is able to get over and will 100% cause problems in the childrens' lives.
I think the best phrase that applies here is "Its better to die a hero, than it is to live long enough to become the villian." But OP's mother didn't die a hero. She died a villain.
I sincerely hope OP and their siblings get therapy as soon as possible, because this trauma will ruin their lives, no matter what they try.
In that last story, it was also pointed out in some comments that the mom sent the daughters away and made it so op found her body..... like a big final middle finger. It's definitely a sad post.... no "happy ending".... hell not even a "mostly good" update. Now op and sisters are stuck living with an aunt and uncle who don't seem to give two shits that their lives have been torn apart AGAIN.....I really hope op and sisters support each other, find really good friends, and send up living happily ever after.
I almost got the feeling that the auntie and uncle thought it was a matter of time before something like this would happen and they'd be the one's stuck paying for her fk ups
Usually I never cry... But the last story just opened my dam.... Plus rslash used painfull voice for this story which seemed like op is talking.for that cheers to rslash for very good impressuon. I am so much worried for them now.. Even if op struggles and takes care of his siblings, his life is now over.. Maybe he won't be able to go to college or pursue his dreams... In the worst case scenario, maybe any of his siblings won't be able to go to college and study and end up just working non-stop for food and shelter.. I wish them all wishes and all the prayers... Good luck
Plus if possible please can anyone help us to find op and his siblings.. I would like to start a go fund me Or donate some for their future if possible
That last story gave me chills. Op's mom built a bridge with a man that genuinely loved him, and while he was on the bridge, over the edge, his step dad turns around and finds out she wasn't on that bridge, and she had a torch in her hands. So after everything he wanted was given to him, an education, a proper home, entertainment, and a loving dad, was gone because of his mom. Then she murders herself, and OP is stuck in a home where he and his sisters are not even wanted. I really hope OP gets therapy because he is going to be impacted by her death greatly. Then, try to reconnect with the step dad or call cps to connect with the step dad and GTFO out of your aunt and uncle's house. If your step dad does not want to reconnect, I think being in the system is better than being yelled at constantly. As a person who had been emotionally/verbally abused, Therapy and getting the hell out of there is the best action.
4:27 i like this rounded Rslash. He does take a stand, but he accepts nuance. I feel its a genuine thing since my bet is humans en masse like "decisiveness" and fear this may come off as too complex or "wishy washy". Hopefully thats an unnecessary fear because i feel like this world needs more outspoken people to rain in the nuance, even when you have a clear opinion in mind. So long as one does their best to communicate that idea.."this is what i think, and ill get back to that but..." Or something.
So anyway, what Rslash has been doing lately has been a huge wow factor for me at least.
The last story I honestly thought “bestof” being oh op and his family will be happy with his step father but then the ending. Damn. I don’t have words it’s heartbreaking
I'll never understand why some people ruin relationships and their lives just to have sex with some random person
i feel so, so bad for OP in the last story. the absolute worst thing in life to have nothing, then get something amazing given to you, only for it to be ripped away again and be right back where you started. it's truly soul-crushing. i only hope they can find peace or at least some luck that will allow them to have an easier life.
Last story, really hit me in the feels in a personal level. With experiencing similar but not the same situations. All that I would want to say to OP is if you regret make sure you learn to not make the same regret again.
I think rslash is overthinking story 1 juuuuuust a bit lol
Good Lord, that last story. Mom completely fucked her kid’s lives.
Bro, thanks for always being the podcast or video I listen to in the morning!😎
7:30 "I can't believe I'm making this joke!"
No.... Don't...
7:33 "Oh no! Help me stepdad! I'm stuck on the balcony!"
NOOOOO!!! WE JUST PASSED THE STEP PORN JOKES ERA!!!
That last story...omg...OP, if you are reading this please don't blame yourself. I know it's hard losing a parent at a young age esp in such circumstances but you must know she would want you to live and be happy. It will be hard and likely always will be but work to find the glimmers of light in this world.
Third story, along with OP not being at fault? I know it sounds terrible but at the same time it feels like what happened was inevitable. The mother kept making terrible decisions throughout her life that affected her family despite her children warning her. Part of me feels like she would've kept this sort of life up despite everything and would've hit the tipping point sooner rather than later
3rd story: Wow… It’s not enough that she took her children’s improved future by cheating when she has a wonderful husband/provider. She had to be extremely selfish by taking her own life and left her kids parentless?!!? I was so pissed when I heard the ending. She wasn’t just a terrible mom, she was a terrible human being.
Wow. That last story was really deep. I hope OP and her siblings make it into a better living situation
Last Story:
What a selfish mother!
She knew either OP or her other kids would find her body. My heart breaks for OP and his siblings.
Her death was absolutely not his fault! Not at all!
Story 3: does anyone else have a sneaking suspicion that the "biological" dad isn't the biological dad? like, he left every time she got pregnant. coupled with what the mom did to her husband, i'm 90% certaint she was cheating on the first guy too and he kept finding out and leaving, then forgiving her and coming back only to have her cheat again
Nah, he's just a deadbeat who likes p*ssy more than responsibilities
Seeing how he was known and not contacted as a relative it is highly possible that is the case.
The last story hit me right in the feels and took me by surprise. Ooof.
That last story was the saddest, darkest story I have ever heard on this channel… It ripped my heart in half. I don’t understand how people can tank their lives, and the lives of their children, when they get a second chance like that…
STORY 3: There's a lot of people here that's saying that the stepdad is horrible for walking away, Well we have to remember that Lost his first wife and daughter brutally, he was still going through that pain and just started back dating, OPs mother must have known his pain if OP knew what happened in his past, and knowing all that the mother still cheats on him and hurt him it's like losing his family over again and he may not have the heart to even make contact, or maybe even talk to anyone who knows he may have ended it as well sadly, so I kind of feel with the stepdad there. But I do wish OP all the happiness for her and her sisters because they do not deserve that, and she doesn't need to blame herself for anything that happened as this is all her mother's faults like everyone is saying.
As bad as it is to say, the mother in the last story gave OP the middle finger by doing that. Instead of taking responsibility for her actions, she decided to throw her children to the wolves. There aren't enough harsh words in the world to convey my anger at OP's mother. I hope OP can get out of the situation he's in with his surviving family. It's go to be hard... Brutal even. But OP should not blame himself for his mother's actions.
i have no sympathy for the mother she dug her own grave
Stories like that make me really hope that there is a hell for ppl like that woman
see how she sent the 2 sisters out before offing herself. She wanted her son to find her
First the last story: I lost my grandfather to suicide in 2019, shortly before my 20th birthday. He had a hard life and a storied history of mental illness for which he never received proper care. He was going through a terrible situation where he and my grandmother were losing their home. In hindsight, the signs were there that he could do something like that. But hindsight is 20/20. In the beginning, I was hurt and angry. I was confused and felt as though I could have done something, ANYTHING, to change the outcome. But I was 19 years old, basically still a kid, and was seriously incapable of handling a situation like that. OP, there is no blame on your shoulders. Your mother had issues and you were a victim of circumstance. You were a kid put in an impossible situation for far too long and having that shred of hope at a better life torn away by your mother's infidelity felt like the end. It's understandable that you would feel that way and feel the need to say what you said. But you are falsely assigning blame to yourself for something you could not have predicted or prevented. You said something in a moment of pain that you regret and I understand how horribly you wish you could take it back but what's happened has happened. You can't go back in time to change it and you can't climb into the grave with her. All you can do is take the pain and the lessons you've learned and grow from it. The grief doesn't go away or get smaller. But you will grow around it and learn to carry it alongside the love you feel for her. To grieve is to love completely. You loved her completely and she loved you the same regardless of her own issues and struggles. The rest is just confetti. That's a quote I take from The Haunting of Hill House that helped me to reframe my views on my own pain and grief. I hope that you and your sisters will find peace and happiness.
Third story: I'm so angry at OP's mom. How dare she do any of that to those kids, but especially that last thing. I'm also a little upset at OP's ex-stepdad. A quote from my favorite movie goes "You divorce wives, not children." I understand the man's hurt, but how can you cry when the kids call you dad for the first time, then go completely NC?
Those poor kids. They all deserve so much better.
The mom of the last story is such a coward, she ruined OP’s life multiple times and when she had to face the consequences of her own actions she decided to make it even harder. I hope OP manages to pull through, they don’t deserve any of this.
Story 1: Rslash, no. Maria gets no benefit of the doubt.. We know Maria is trash for one simple reason: her son's reaction. His reaction means this happens a LOT. That kid probably has so much anxiety from not knowing how his mom will react or what she'll do to destroy the good things in his life.
In the last story, it's easier to say that OP shouldn't blame himself with what happened and he shouldn't regret his last words to his mom. That was his mother the only one he would ever have. But his anger and words are JUSTIFIED. I understand the feeling of having an absent father popping up once in a blue moon just because he wants something only to disappear without an explanation. I understand what it's like to live in a small place and not have a lot of even decent things for years. But I wasn't the one who had to grow up and be a second parent, that was my older brother. He had to do that since he was about 7 years old. He left home at 19 and doesn't really contact us much. He does show from time to time that he still cares.
OP understandably despised his mother. They finally catch a break in life and they were all happy. He makes the point that him and his sisters were going to go to college and his mom threw that away. He is 16 years old and is stuck having to still care for his younger sisters. The chances of him going to college are slim and if he does, he's going to end up with a lot of debt. There is no reason why his mother decided it was ok to cheat on his stepfather and RUIN their lives again. She not only had a better life but her KIDS did as well. Of COURSE he would question even to her face why she did what she did!!! She found someone who LOVED her and treated her like a QUEEN compared to OPs biological father. VERY little people can understand what it's like to grow up with very little, be given a break and have a good and BETTER life, only to have that taken away in an instant. And to have to go back to skipping meals and even going some days without eating at all?! OP needs to realize that SHE CHOSE this path. RSLASH is right with that. OP has nothing to do with what his mother did, I think it's safe to say that his words aren't even a factor in what happened. He was a KID who had to grow up before age 10.
He had to take on a parent's responsibility while still being a child himself!!! He didn't deserve that and neither did his sisters. As a parent IT IS YOUR responsibility to do what's BEST for YOUR KIDS. Yeah, it's ok to take a break every now and then. But you don't get to go off and knowingly do something wrong and expect here to not be any consequences at all. OP even BEGGED his mother to not have anything to do with his bio father and she clearly just blew him off, ignored him and went with that trash anyway. His TEARS didn't matter to her then, why would him not talking to her at 16 break her to the point of abandoning them permanently?!
I can't blame OP in the last story for any of his emotions or actions; not for hating his mother, not for yelling at her, and not for feeling distraught about her death. He must be going through so many emotions, I just hope that one day he stops blaming himself. Nothing he did was his fault in the slightest.
I hope that everyone is having a good Thursday!
Don't tell me what to do!
Rslash: I wasn't expecting that
Me, with really bad anxiety and depression: Really? I was x-x
That said, what OP said was likely the tipping point, but it's not his fault. His mum did legitimately ruin his life for her own selfish gain, she ruined multiple lives. As cruel as it sounds... she ruined it more by stepping out.
So I was on Spotify listening to the podcast and came across this again. You never know when the last time you'll ever talk to someone is, so do what you can to make sure, especially for the people most important to you, that it's something that you're okay leaving them with. You don't have to treat every conversation with someone like they might die. And you have to let them know how much they mean to you, you should remind them how much they mean to you every once awhile, but don't let it be a conversation that you might regret, you don't always get a chance to take it back. There are a lot of stories where somebody like this happens where the person believes that they're better off dead and if they were gone it would make everyone's lives easier and hearing those stories just break my heart because for a long time I felt like that and to a degree I still feel like that. Some people heal and get better, others don't and it ends with some of them deciding that they're not going to be a burden anymore and usually whoever they think they're a burden on would rather have them in their lives than not.
That. Yeah that last story. Rough. Rslash. You're doing the right thing. Perspective is hard.