10 Secrets A Narcissist Doesn't Want You To Know
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- čas přidán 14. 07. 2024
- In this video, I talk in details about why narcissists are so secretive and 10 things they don't want you to know. I explain in details how narcs are almost dead inside.
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#narcissist
It's easy to get in a narcissistic relationship and hard as hell to get out. Bless everyone
#TruDat
Yup
Especially with kids. I have 2 with a narcissist
@@aizzamoque5569 me too.. blackmailing toleave kids with him.
Love bombing their way in, character assassination on the way out!! [ rinse and repeat]
Crazy accurate, watch the whole video
1. There is nothing wrong with you, it is them who is being not enough
2. They are afraid of humiliation, of what they do behind the mask
3. They fear rejection and being alone, they are very codependent
4. You are not inferior to 'someone else 'who they are comparing you with
5. They do not care about you. Once you're out of the relationship, you're out of they're head and life
6. They have double-life with different sources of love supply
7. They are deeply insecure and they project their insecurities on you. They think that when they feel insecure it's your fault
8. They are jealous of you and want to isolate you. They want everything to be theirs and see you as a toy
9. Narcissism is a defense system. It's all about avoidance, they do not want to face with trauma
10. They are afraid of abandonment
Thank you for the video !
11. They will never be sorry, don't even try to hear it from them
Thank you very much for your good explanation 🙏👌💐🙅♀️
Thanx for summarising the whole talk. It’s all true and easy to relate to each one of the point for me who has seen all suffered all.
My mother literally compared me to a toy doll growing up. She expressed her 'inappropriate sexuality' through me, by making me out to be a common strumpet, all while chastising me for even thinking about anything remotely sexual, and taught me that sex should only feel good for the man. How frigged up do you think my relationships were because of that kind of teaching?!?
11.a) They may say sorry, but it will be wrapped aby something sarcastic or nasty, like, "I'm SO SORRY that I love you too much to let you not work towards perfection!!" or "I'm sorry that you misinterpreted what I said (to mean exactly what I meant)!"
But all of us here understand.
Strength and peace.
They don't want others to know that they are damaged, addicted to stuff, fear rejection, fear being abandoned and generally not managing life well. They are major impressionists
True statement.
@@sandibriscoe4817 to
awwwwww WW a c u wwwww s
awwwwww ❣️ w
Wow true
They do not want anyone to know their lack of empathy and their connection to demonic forces.
Yes!!!!!
They are the demonic forces.
Demonic forces legit 👺💀🤕
Narcissism is born from jealousy.
Is born from trauma, childhood abuse, narc parents , etc
I would add, and loss of control. They are jealous and lacked the ability to get what they were jealous about.
Told they were great but blocked from getting that greatness, so now they just take it!
They do not want you to know how weak, damaged, toxic, miserable, false and full of lies they are. They fear that the truth will expose their true toxic selves
They don't like being trapped in their own lies. They also get upset if you don't show jealousy but they accuse you of being jealous. They are good at twisting the truth
When you said that they are jealous and see you as a toy... Yes! I felt like a toy, and then would be thrown aside/discarded until he cycled through the rest of toys and it was my turn to be played with again. Or, just as we see children do, discard a current toy because they see a new shiny toy, but as soon as another child shows interest in that toy that no one was playing with/discarded, the first child gets jealous and rages. Smh.
“Or she”
Good analogy! So true🤮
This narc made me feel like a bag of garbage that wasn't even good enough for the garbage can
In the relationship with the narcissists I found them back stabber they abused me Indirectly. They took all my friends, relatives and all my social circle on their side. The more money and power they have , more they will control and abuse you.
You're 100% right about the money 🙃
So true. My sister was with a narcissist. He would never let her travel to see her grown kids for the holidays (and he would not let her go alone). He would say, "Explain to me why I should waste my time and my gas to go and see those idiots". But after she left him, he MADE SURE that he went to spend the holidays with them, for the express purpose of preventing her from seeing them. And they lived a 5 hour drive away, out of state.
I wonder how many narcissists women will take cash for a exchange for sex.
WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THAT TOO? 5 MINS OF SEX, NOTHING LONG TERM... NO DAMAGE UNLESS HE CANT GET IT UP... SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD SITUATION...🤔
You are so right, when they get more money they get even more controlling
And they can’t stand if their family friends or aquaintances like you or talk to you. So they tell both sides that the other one says bad things about you and not to talk to that person anymore And then they tell the other parties lies about you as well.
The narcissist I was with had another life from the life we had together. Together for 12 years, he and I had a nice home, nice cars, everything any woman would ever want or need. When he would go to work out of town, all of his other supply would be there waiting. Some knew me as his wife, but he would tell them things like he only stays with me because he feels sorry for me, while home he acted like I was everything to him. People always thought we were the perfect couple so in love, but he had several other women in his life also. He was the perfect husband to all of our friends and my family, but a complete scary monster behind closed doors! After I started standing up to him and letting him know I knew he was a liar the abuse got worse. After 12 years together, he called me on a Friday after work, said he was leaving, left the marriage, our home, all of his things and I haven’t seen him sense. He left me with no money, no vehicle and no where to go. I am now working on putting my life back together.
My husband of 12 years did something very similar, he's currently shacked up with the secretary from his work and he hasn't taken anything but an overnight bag. He discarded me in May 2023,so brutal
Sorry. Be strong. You must come out a winner. Don't lose hope. Always be positive.
hope you are much better today🙏
Sorry to hear that. That's not cool on his part. At least when I left my marriage, I tried to make the divorce a smooth transition. I helped pay for things, and help with yard work and made sure we divided stuff equal. I guess I wasn't as cruel as I thought for leaving her after reading your comment.
They don’t ever want others to know about their ugly rage. They could be full of rage at home, hours before joining a crowd and acting like the most jovial person in the room.
Envy is their most guarded secret, they want to be a source of envy - I’m sure they don’t realise normal people don’t suffer with any envy & don’t envy them.
Their conflict occurs when they can no longer suppress envy, to envy of an inferior person (they must be superior) the inferior person is punished for allegedly causing their overwhelming envy, it consumes them every minute of the day.
It’s not rational & people must quietly escape by getting discarded (let them discard to avoid the stalking)
Envy fuels all narcissists!
Very interesting. Thank you for pointing out about the envy. I loved to read non-fiction, so I know a lot of random information. (I'm good at Trivia Pursuit.) In particular, I loved Shakespeare, Gilbert and Sullivan, and I could swing dance. I exposed my narcissist to these things. My narcissist was not well read and did not finish college, and I see now that he was envious that I seemed so "cultured". He was always saying (with disgust in his voice), "You think you are smarter than everyone else!" I would say, "No I don't!" We could fight about it until I was crying, I would be saying, "I am not smarter than anyone! Everyone is smarter than me!" Then he was disgusted with me because I had groveled myself into being a worm. I found out later that his new supply was so impressed with him because he was familiar with Shakespeare, Gilbert and Sullivan, and he could swing dance (none of which were part of his life before me). Plus he wore all those classy shirts that I bought him. I told him that his new supply was not in love with him, but she was in love with me, because if it was not for me, he would not have that cultured facade to impress her.
thank you !
One of these online therapists brought tears to my eyes when he declared, "The narcissist didn't target you (as their scapegoat) because you were so bad; they did it because you are so good." That is 100% true! You have all the things they want. But instead of trying to cultivate those things in themselves, they wickedly try to take them from you, or destroy them in you, thus justifying their continuing to treat you like garbage.
every human has envy, thats what helps drive people to be better. its when envy and ego intertwine that theres a problem; to say one doesnt have envy is inherently arrogant.
1. You are not the problem
2. They fear humiliation
3. They fear rejection
4. You are not inferior to them or anyone they pit you against.
5. They don’t care about you.
6. They live double lives.
7. They are deeply insecure.
8. They are jealous of you.
9. Narcissism is a constant struggle to hide the ugly truth.
10. They are afraid of abandonment.
Thank you Leigh for writing the list out!
Thank you Leigh, that was most helpful. 👍
Thank you Leigh for your excellent list 🙏💐
Thank you !
Deep but true what's hard to grasp is the double life with bruh why
Narcs don’t want you to know that they cannot feel true joy; it’s short lived and superficial at best! Therefore, the best revenge is being genuinely happy and joyful in your new life after them. They will live their life chasing this emotion and will always envy this quality in others because they are empty vessels!
Quite often, my ex husband would enthusiastically brag to my 4 daughters about yet another brilliant or talented or amazing or successful woman that we just met. He would highlight all her good qualities as if to say, “see daughters, you should be wonderful like this lady!” While I, their mother, stood by feeling useless, ashamed and inferior.
I think narcissists don’t want their supply to know they are to good for them. They present themselves as a wonderful catch. They sell you the false illusion of a dream, but you learn it’s a nightmare.
Holy hell !! I had to respond to your comment because you said they present themselves as " a wonderful catch"...those were the words my ex narcissist GF used before she discarded me 7 weeks ago. She told me she doesn't understand why I would walk away from her because she sees herself as a wonderful catch. That's crazy you mention that. It's text book. They must graduate from the same Narc school???
@@clintonnagy1662 they must study at school for narcissist. They are all the exact same. I was discarded being raised by a malignant narcissist. I was trauma bonded to someone who was abusing me. Now after extensive treatment have i rewired my brain and see the abuse rather than deny it. They also gaslight you which makes you doubt yourself even more. Glad you got away they are poison ☠️
They are so jealous of you. Put you down to “keep you in your place” and use you. They want your inner light because they are dark souls with no real personality.
When she would put me down I just thought she was deeply wounded from her last relationship? Later, I realized it was her who wounded her ex after pregnancy and she was the narcissist. She would devalue me, and I was left confused wondering why would this person hurt me emotionally? It left me confused and deeply injured until I watched these videos because a friend told me she has personality disorders. BPD/ NPD and I should do some homework on her traits. Yep, everything I read, watch and listen is spot on. 👌
What's even more scary...After my divorce of 22 years I realized watching these videos my ex wife displays alot of vulnerable narcisstic traits. Once I was divorced my ex wife, my new narc girlfriend gave me flashbacks of the same behaviors. Talk about a mind f**k. They were both Virgos & days apart on B-days too...I left the relationship because it was toxic in many ways. I miss her but it was one sided ( her side ). It always will be and I'm tired if being her puppet.
Sad thing is I realize she trauma bonded me, and I'm healing now. Almost 2 months in and I still have depression and crying spells. I feel crazy and hate myself. This has been the worst.
@@clintonnagy1662 it’s really an eye opening experience when you see the same behavior explained on these videos. Then it all makes sense. Scary!
They do not want you to know their real intentions.
I've watched different therapists talk about this issue but you have a real therapeutic gift so I feel comforted (something we really need in dealing with this) as well as informed. Thank you.
Exactly! He's more direct and straightforward, simplifying the procedure for healing.
@@obsessedcopycatsnidtheives6553 succinct and to the point
My husband has done everything with me I am suffering from last 22 years thank u Danish
I have never seen a video that hit closer to home than this. You described my life with my ex husband. I came out a shell of myself. He had me convinced that I was crazy. That I was not enough. That I couldn’t do anything right. He took me away from my friends and family. He said he didn’t like them and they weren’t good for “us”. It has taken me years to figure out what the truth really was. It’s like waking up from a nightmare. Thank you so very much.
❤ it is like waking up from a nightmare. I still keep waking up every day with this terror
Mine took all my friends away. I was suicidal
@@emilieholtmeier2409 me too. Peace and grace to you 💜
Exactly my story 😢
It’s like he said, we are a gift for these narcissist people because God is giving them a chance to change, they have longer lifespans for suffering. We are bait for them because we are pure in heart, honest, giving. This is how they know how to pray on new supply. My ex did the same. It took me years to let go of the subconscious fears and traumas.
Its never their fault, it was either the dog or the door.
Omg, so true, thats how ridiculous they are. 😄😂
' they wet the bed and blame the bed' .....anon
can't polish a 💩
✌
♥
🏴
I believe you have it figured
So right, never their fault
Shedding light on the darkness will always let you see what surrounds you ✨️
Right? The best way to kill a monster is to turn the lights on, and open the doors.
when the narcissist knows they have done wrong they don’t want it to be made public, so sometimes even as a narcissist they know the difference between right from wrong
They know they are doing wrong. How do I know? Because they lie about literally everything, even stupid crap that makes no sense to lie about. If they didn't think their actions were wrong or hurtful to others, they would have no reason to lie.
@@Hawaiiansky11 Thank you i literally was just talking about this same thing to a relative a few days ago. These A'holes know exactly what they're doing, knowing right from wrong and lying to cover there crap.
Being raised by a narcissistic parent, I was well into my 30's before I understood, that there was nothing wrong with me and that my narcissistic parent had projected all the insecurities, rage, and self-loathing on to me and my siblings. Maybe this is petty, but sometimes get a little vindictive satisfaction that this parent is now old and feeble, living off social security and her children's generosity, knowing that in spite of everything, those children have all managed to have successful marriages and happy, meaningful lives. All of those are things the narcissists threw away and can't have now.
I went fully no-contact with my narcissistic father. If he´d ever reach out to me, i´m not interested. I´m not gonna attend his burial either, as it would be like walking into a pit full of hungry dogs (he did some massive smearing against me).
Ditto, but mine have passed on. No way in hell I'm telling my siblings the truth about mom and dad. Mom wore a saint mask. Put my siblings against dad. Either I had different experiences my bothers and sisters had, or like me, they blocked it from memory. My inner child ratted mom out recently after I broke up with a gf who was just like her. Nothing I believed was the truth. Some sort of narc opposite reality expertly created and infused into our minds.
I was in my late 40s finding out the secrets and lies my mom has done. It's been 4 years, and I still can't get my head around it. She's not the person I thought she was. These videos are helpful. I am an only child, and it's hard coping alone.
@rgoodman4082 my mother hid a college scholarship from me
Mine said I'm not shit compared to his ex wife
Narcissist don’t want people to know that THEY are narcissists. They are the BEST actors, Especially in front of people they don’t know an Academy award…and then behind closed doors their secretive behaviour is exposed when they do their 180° turn on you
💯 correct!
How so true
My mothers jealousy of my achievements was the biggest betrayal.
I have said that narcissists are parasites. It is so true. They have to control their victim, but...do they really? Be yourself and they will lose totally. Don't react to anything they do, don't tell others what they do, ignore them as if they don't exist, and they will not be able to survive that. They feed on your emotional reactions, don't give it ever. Don't argue.
I'm glad I finally told different people I have known for a long time what I was experiencing!! That helped me plan to get out of the toxic, and dangerous situation I was in!!!
Different people kept telling me he is trying to control you! But I didn't realize it. I am a Senior and I never experienced what I experienced in the last five years!! I am happy to finally be out of it!!
I think they have an overwhelming fear of death. How could somebody as superior as they are possibly die?
They do not feel anything. They are not afraid of death. They will die trying to bury you.
They died years ago, they know it, and that's what fuels them... your reaction... it helps them feel alive...for a few minutes...
@@dianematlock7922 Is it possible, he became a Narc, when his wife died three years ago... Or was he a Narc since his childhood... Sorry for my bad English...
@@elkebanhart7045, Being a narcissist just doesn't appear and come up on a person all of a sudden. It starts when they are children, but comes out during their early adult years. My ex. narc. malignant narcissist brother began to show features around 23 years of age. His mask started slipping off and he fooled my family for years of being a nice and caring person. Now, he is a monster and dangerous as all get out.
@@dianematlock7922 Exactly. they are dead / empty inside. That's why they cannot tolerate being alone with themselves.
I have not got the energy left for these people
So deny it to them, at first meet.
I never asked for passwords or looked into his phone, never once. He did, but I didn’t care. I had nothing to hide.
I like when narcissism is focused on all relationships with a narcissist rather than just a marital type relationship. Because we deal with this syndrome on so many levels. Thank you!
Same. I feel like there is too much focus on the dating and love life aspect. I get it but I was raised by a narcissist, tortured by a narcissist older sister. Abuse was normalized so I went on to marry a narcissist man for 18 years and had 2 children.
Once I happened to learn about this disorder I started working on leaving him. And teaching my kids to end this cycle. I have Schizoid PD and there is not enough information about it. The damage these people do to children is sickening. 😢😊❤
Narcissist don't want to own their insecurities,they love projecting it onto the prey...
Does the narcissist in your life compliment others highly to you in order to indirectly tell you how your not all that? Diabolical! Hurtful and intentional-another way to try to get me believe I’m not enough. Thank you Danish!
They are incapable of showing affection or emotions other than anger.
In childhood they were surpresed in some way by someone and couldn't develop a true sense of self. This leaves them isolated in that they don't know what to do with themselves and see others who are creating or have created a life for themselves as lucky and they want to be like them and will run them down and steal their personality if they can.
True
Yes, @davidmarshall40. That's why they act differently with every group of people. They see how other people talk/feel/look/act, so they try to fit in without having the vaguest idea about the values/social standing/experiences of those people. My narcissistic mother hated children (especially her own). Around new friends in later life, she bragged on their grandchildren/actually hugged children/asked about their ballgames, etc. In real life, she never allowed us to participate in games of any kind. We were shocked to see her 'new' behavior -- with our own eyes. Those people thought she was a wonderful friend/mother/grandmother, but we knew better. In childhood, we were seriously malnourished because she didn't feed us, and we wore cardboard in our shoes. Extracurricular activities that required uniforms/fees/transportation/equipment were not even considered. Besides all such things were 'sinful,' as well as unnecessary and expensive. Her new friends (who were normal/successful people) had no idea she was faking/mimicking what she saw them do around their grandchildren. It was all an act, and we saw through it.
Well said!
YES - "They always have multiple sources of supply." If you're in denial of this, you're in denial of everything.
So helpful!! It takes years sometimes to crawl out of the dark abyss that is NPD abuse. The hardest thing is coming to a knowledge of the truth that the person who said they love you really doesn’t at all. It’s like chasing a ghost for years, being emotionally starved and blamed for all the problems in the relationship. It is possible to come out of the darkness. It’s also healing to look at how you got there in the first place. Thank you for your videos!
This is 100%🎯. The biggest mistake the narc did was to threaten me. We bought a house 5 months ago and he’s buying me out in 4 weeks, his plan all along. I recorded his rants since end of June and he’s gone from love bombing to devalue then ‘we are putting the house up for sale, this has been since 8 days after moving in. Then the same cycle again over and over, but when he threatened to follow me around the house and annoy me so I would hit him and he’d phone the police and have me arrested, he blew it. Next time he said the house was going up for sale, I told him to do it, full on panic mode, he was practically begging me to call off the estate agent an hour before he arrived. We sold the house, he pulled out and now buying my share.
He’s got a new victim and has their mobile phone calls on loud speaker so I hear them. I couldn’t care less, she’s welcome to him. In a year she will be where I am now….leaving him hopefully, just like all the rest have including 3 ex wives, I was nearly number 4, but to be honest, it would never have got that far, that was a hook to keep me.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! 30 years + in. Having a hard time leaving even though I KNOW I never had one GOOD day...
I'm 23 years in, realized it only a couple years ago. Now that I saw behind the curtain of the Wizard of Oz, I cannot UNSEE what these predatory, empty, evil people truly are. One day at a time to get away. Good luck and know that you have a better life ahead of you.
I’m 52 yrs in and he the narcissist is now in an Assisted Living facility with Alzheimers. I finally have peace and quiet in my life and have friends and family around me again. This video is so accurate, Leave the narcissist and be free,have your own life and have happiness to be you again. Life is too short!!!!
their supply (their double life) can be other women or men, they can hide money so you can’t have it or they may say they have no money, they could be involved in drugs, they can like lots of bling…crave owing “several” cars, RV’s and other items anything that makes them look good or make them feel important (they are insecure)…
@@annawallace3264 I felt bad saying that when my narc mother went into the nursing home, it was a relief. But she was abusive to me literally just days before she had a massive meltdown, which triggered what amounted to an acute onset of dementia. When she had no clue what was going on, she was actually kind of nice to me for the first time in my life. She passed on a few years back, but I've never grieved for her; my grief happened years before, when I realized that I never really had a 'mom' and never really would.
@@Hawaiiansky11 I’m sorry what you have gone thru and I understand what you are saying it’s as if they are/were physically here but as immediate family not being able to reach them mentally. As if they are fighting within themselves but yet they get verbally abusive to family and yet in my case they act so normal to strangers and will help and do for others ….other than immediate family. Very sad for me to say but its the truth.
This is so true that they are even more codependent than codependents. If you ignore the hoover, then wait a couple of days and throw some breadcrumbs to them to see how they react, the perk up right away and start responding as if they are meeting a brand new person instead of the "real you" they despise! It's very eerie; they have no self, and it's like a ghost looking at you and speaking back to you, initially. (at least with covert narcs.)
My narcissist ex husband was afraid I would discover his double life. After 13 years I discovered he was sleeping with several women and one man! Supply doesn't always have to be another woman.
I've watched some uplifting videos the past few days and it really brought out my thoughts and making feel I am worth something when my ex wife and I got back together to work things out. She is always stopping me mid sentence and contradicting everything I say unless it is a topic where I am blaming my actions because of my childhood trauma. I've been lost all these years. Being put down, belittled, nothing I ever do is enough. She makes me feel completely worthless, zero self esteem, zero confidence in myself and just as I start to stand back up she pulls me back down again. She is codependent as hell and never goes more than about a month between relationships. She even went and moved in with a friend of mine and started dating him 2 weeks after she left before we could even get the divorce started. He saw through her BS and cut her loose (although he was guilty of becoming physically and mentally violent himself while drinking). She immediately ran back to me. Seemed all good at first but I was hesitant to let her lay in bed with me after only two nights of being here and I couldn't figure why I felt this way about it. She seemed normal for a couple of months then the switch flipped again. Her first therapist even suggested me as being a narcissist but I don't think the truth was being told and she projected me as the bad person. I have made my share of mistakes and I hold myself accountable for my poor behavior in the past but this time, I have done absolutely nothing wrong and even made sure of it.
Calling me a narcissist completely destroyed me and nearly brought me to my own demise. Thankfully a friend walked up on me and caught me in the act of trying to hang my self from a tree at the back of my property. I didn't know such manipulation was possible. She drives me to the point of wanting to commit suicide but then applies just enough care and generosity to keep me from going off the deep end then she's back to the same crap. She blames me for not being intimate and emotionally available. Now after seeing videos like this, I recognize she is weaponizing my empathy against me all the while making me feel like I am a complete failure and full of nothing but apathy. She spends most of her time outside of work playing on her phone. I rarely ever touch mine as I have a strong dislike for phones and social media.
It pisses her off when she saw that I am completely OK with being alone and being 100% fully independent. She also just recently stated that she was never going to leave me again (she has no other sources to feed her) but if I ever did end up in another relationship that she would make it an absolute total nightmare and do anything to make sure that myself and who I am with are absolutely miserable.
She has been diagnosed with bipolar 1, CPTSD, borderline personality disorder and shows traits of ADHD (inattentive) while I know I have. I'm chronically depressed 95% of the time and being a over the road truck driver, I look forward to the day I can leave home and stay gone for weeks or even months at a time just to avoid what I didn't understand.
I'm trying to find a way out. After a 11 year marriage (trauma bonded), she used our daughters to keep me within reach. Often times sending me links to songs and emails telling me about how bad I messed up but how she missed me while with this other guy. Its breaking my heart into a million pieces knowing how bad this is going to hurt me and having the feeling of guilt trying to leave her but on the other side, I don't know why I feel so bad when I don't know she really is. We dated back in middle school, her mom moved her across town, we never spoke again then in our early 20's, we got back together and she was pushing marriage on me which I didn't want at the time. I have nothing but regret of all the years I spent with her. She knows everything about me and all of my vulnerabilities and I'm afraid of her using it of that stuff against me.
She keeps telling me I need to seek professional help. I was doing really well on self healing when we divorced but now I'm back at square one except now I'm older, wiser and more informed. I've reached a point of tuning out the verbal abuse by going to my hobbies and self isolating but then that gets throw back in my face "you don't love me, you're always ignoring me and acting like you don't care and so on". Now I'm stuck in this trap. The hell I have finally come to realize she created for me. The past almost two years we have been back together, I can feel and hear myself inside screaming for help but on the outside I wear a mask around those dear to me (which are few because of her) and act as if everything is OK because I feel like if I do open up about it, I'm just a burden on them. I carried the guilt, shame, blame and heartbreak of our divorce but I'm not sure how about how to feel about it this time when its me walking away. I'm alone with no one in my corner to help and she has and will again turn people against me to make me out to be the bad guy so here I am ranting my inner most thoughts into the comment section of a CZcams video.
Let go of the guilt just as much as the guilt shes laying on you as to not leave.
It's time to throw a monkey wrench in this karmic cogwheel that's repeating a toxic cycle in your life.
It's time to transform from the caged in caterpillar and bloom into that free butterfly.
From the sound of it, you've already mentioned you were much happier alone, with her out from your life, ideally, you two shouldn't live in the same place, what I find unfortunate however is that she seem to have your kids? Divorce court is too heavily skewed towards giving the mother custody it's ridiculous, those daughters of yours will likely become heavily influenced by their mother and potentially become as messed up because of her, if you want any ammunition for court and whatnot, you should start recording your interactions with one another, as it's better to have some failsafe rather than being completely naked should things go too far, on that end, I would likely force her out of the house or move somewhere else and block her number so I never have to deal with them again, because clearly it's a lost cause to interact with someone who only make you miserable. If all narcissists can truly not be reasoned with, then trying to be logical with them won't work, that may be an uncomfortable truth, but it's better to know it than not.
They have these fears yet they do everything to cause u to do these things to them
I believe that they try very hard to present you to people who don't know who they really are and keep you away from those who do.
One prime thing that they never want you to realize is that they are much weaker than they look, with their fake aura of confidence. Truly strong individuals can calmly live alone, but a narc can never, ever live alone. That is their greatest terror, and the best move against them is suddenly abandoning them. They're also rendered rather stupid by their ego, so they are extremely easy to remove. Keep insulting them brutally and they are sure to leave. They are slaves to their own ego and can't even think of their own advantages when it comes to preserving that ego, which is where Machiavellians differ heavily from them. In a Mach's eyes, they are not very clever or strategic, their ego is their biggest hurdle.
Also lie about how others are insulting them behind their back. Narcs are often very paranoid, and will keep cutting ties everywhere they think they are not worshipped.
My ex was a cop. He used the legal system to arrest me and take my son away. I spent 50 k in legal fees with 3 different attorneys. God is more powerful than any demons. I have prayed for him my friends have prayed for him. God is changing him slowly. It has been 4 years since I left him and my freedom is worth all the pain I have experienced. I was married for almost 20 years and I was not going to endure another 20 more! No way!
Wow! You just described my “mom” completely! Out of all the narcissist healing you tube channels your has helped me the most. Pure and concise information! Thank you so much for all you do to get these truths out to us! 🙏🏼🔥✨
Same here
His explanations are easily absorbable and understandable
Include my mom as well and it hurts me to say that. Anything that I do it’s downgraded, my mom can fly for free right now if she wanted anywhere around the world due to my accomplishments and she’s sweep them under the rug.
The only thing the narcissist was good for, was making me aware of the other narcissists in my life. Including my family. Thank god for the clarity
Sincerely they’re really dead inside very empty that’s why they hurt normal people without any apologies because they don’t want to accept their trauma of not good enough or inferior they just avoid accountability instead so very articulated.
I once called my mother a walking corpse. She has no soul
@@darrenheapy1265 Oh really
@@laughoncomedy2923 yeah mate. Sad but true
@@darrenheapy1265 It’s very annoying to think 🤔 human predator in form of human exist.
Excellent summation! In my observations and direct experience with narcissists, abandonment also translates to a narcissist's forced forfeiture of control. Thus, not only does the narcissist lose supply, how can this lost supply affect the narcissist's "reputation"? Now, the narcissist must begin perceived damage control; a smear campaign against that lost supply.
Oh, they've been working on assassinating your character LOOOONG before you discard them. They are always playing the 'end game,' because they intuit that eventually, all their supply will be done with their b.s. and thus the narc must make that supply look bad to mutual friends, acquaintances, supervisors, etc. so that when the SHTF, they can say to said mutuals, "See, I told you (she was always angry! or he was mean to me!)"
@@Hawaiiansky11 Yes, you nailed that one!! I agree 💯. Their deviousness never ceases to amaze.
My x-Narc was extremely insecure. He covered up this with know-it-all arrogance. But inside there was Nothing buy shame.
Everything you said is so accurate. There truly is nothing there! Also know that many of the male narcs engage intimately with other men for supply. They do not have a fixed “type” or any type whatsoever it is whomever is around at the time. If they come back know they are low on supply and save yourself and say no.
Thankyou. I've been away from the narcissist for many years but still suffer. You have helped me understand that mind. It has helped me. Thankyou again
I was married to a Covert Narcissist for almost 50 yrs. Had five children. I recognise everything you say. Very Accurate indeed. I went through everything you have discussed.
When my children became adults and had good careers, then married had their children and my x Narc was still abusing me on 5 Counts of abuse recognised in law I told him to go. He hung about for a year me paying the Bill's. Him Throwing me crumbs and trying to suck me into his evil web again. He tried pathetically to apologise. No eye contact or genuine apology just vacant words no emotion, no passion no conviction. I was not being fooled again.
When a year was up he went with plenty of pocket money he had saved for not paying the Bill's. Two or three private pensions and walked into a rented house around the corner from his only sister and near a brother who also lived near.
He has been playing the victim to them and my adult children. He now gives the 16 grandchildren money for birthdays etc. which he never did when with me. That and Christmas, Easter and Summer Holidays etc. were expected to be covered with my monetary contributions. Now he curries favour by contributing himself.
I also have realised the Narc has been devaluing me to his late Mother and his other family members over the years. There are much more personal abuses I cannot discuss on Social Media. A Narc is the devil in disguise. I really believe this. From he left 6 yrs. ago.
I got the family home and I have to say that since he left the house it is so much more peaceful. It's as if the evil spirits
left with him.
Visitors have remarked on the ambience in my home now. I am still healing from the most Horrendous time of my life.
I have my Faith and believe Almighty God got me through. I prayed hard, worked hard and pushed hard to ignore his insults and 30yrs. of cheating, lying, gaslighting, stone walling, devaluation and much more. I buried a lot avoided the Narc, went to bed early out of his way.
My children were Paramount so once they were
Contd., once my children were settled and the Narc.was still cheating with a female work colleague and had admitted to. I told him to go.
It was the best thing I ever did. I am almost 74yrs. so I am not likely to meet someone now who will REALLY LOVE ME. Still,
"Better for me to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". I have my children and grandchildren whom I love with ALL MY HEART AND SOUL that's the purest love of all I am more than happy with that.❤
God bless you! Your a survivor!
I admire you. ❤
Thank you, your videos help me not feel crazy and alone!!!
Eloise Fourie,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist…
Well expressed and thank you for sharing this real feeling. Because I have felt crazy until i watch this and other videos bt Danish. Then your post. It takes a lot of courage to put this out there after all this abuse and insanity.
Thank you, Danish, for being realistic and straight forward.
They don't want you to know that they are incapable of sharing in your experience with them...unless you already gone they don't want you to know that once your interested it is over. Once you block them it's ammunition against you..they have to win no matter what
Just continue blocking, more fun for me !
Mainly their whole purpose is to constantly try to satisfy their always hungry ego; how sadly downtrodden they actually must feel to be so stupid!
Narcissist don't want to let offspring know by spouse what mistakes he/she have done inthe past.
Can you please explain in detail..
@@jhalak831 betrayed my mom, long back which resulted cutting all mom kins and siblings ties. Inshort.
Very good, even very scientific.
Blow, by blow. Better than a boxing match..
You just took the Narcissist apart.
Damn, and left nothing.
But a life long.
NO CONTACT
Thank you for sharing. I have lived with this for over 2 decades. I have lived in confusion for 25 plus years with my husband and how he works and his family. This is true but so difficult to hear because it rings so loud in my life.
We learn the truth about them in a b whole.
You are about the only one who is more on point with everything. I'm enjoying your channel and learning. Thank you so much.
Thank you for your videos and bringing awareness of these leeches that live here on earth amongst us.
Excellent content. It'll rock your world when you see the proof's in the pudding. I wish this information had been available 40 years ago. I guess it would have been seen as "dirty laundry." Fear is their favorite weapon. Even used their own children. Respect for your elders should be when you give your seat up on a bus for an elderly person. Not adopting garbage family lies. Respect must be earned.
My ex wife convinced me to move across the country to a new city for a fresh start for the family. We were in a good deal of debt and she was threatening to kill herself if we stayed in old location. I didn't fully trust her at this time but i wanted to do what was right for the family. We moved, and signed a year lease together on a place when we arrived and she started having an affair in less than two months. She was also trying to make me leave and go to a new apartment. This person who I have children with, and thought would be a good mother, turned into her true very mean, vindictive self. Move the me and my children across the country, get me to do a lot of the work packing the house and driving the uhaul and unpacking, then she started a new relationship and essentially strand me here.
It was all premeditated.
Your story is similar to mine, being with someone for damn 13 years and he changed the location and within 2 weeks he found the new supply and got married behind my back but God slapped him in the face and faced death threats from numerous men having business with the bitch, now he called me as wife and knowing with me he's protected and I came to find all that out and he foolishly blamed his rotten behaviour on me that it was because he missed me and he was confused, I didn't pay any attention to all that because he sounded foolish and stupid and that's when I realised that all my doubts about him and his attitude were all of a meaning, I gave up and told him to do any rubbish because I don't care anymore besides he's not even my type in both reasoning, behaving,he's just the damn ass who has been hiding behind my confidence and strength to make himself strong before crowd, if I leave he's just nobody and I'm going soon, to expose this demon
I just came across this video for the 1st time and every thing you have said expressly describes my mother to the letter. One of her supply is my firstborn son; he is now acknowledging that she drains him with her rants and complaints about me because I have gone no-contact with her.
Thanks Danish… you articulate the narc traits soo well.. super clear and direct to the point 👍
While many videos talk about how & why we get into the narcissistic traps, you are giving clear guidances on how to stay away and re start our journey , pick up the broken pieces and leave the trail , and most importantly you are clearly showing the “ mind of this predictor “.. ( weakness , darkness , thanklessness , hopelessness, of these base souls ). What are THEY thinking , not what they are making US think .
So thank you Danish . 🙏
Their insecurity many times shadows their behavior and that exactly attract emphaths towards them😢
You are a Hero
Thank you for bringing awareness.
They fear the lies they have spread about you and that you will find out about it.
Yup, she literally said she doesn't want to share me with anyone... doesn't want to end up alone... so many truths you speak of the situation I went through.. it is truly despicable experience.
They drag their feet and purposely to make the situation harder than what it needs to be
This is a great video! Love it! Information is power! Power to take your life back!
Thank you very much for these information sir.. your posts & videos helped me to get over from 8years of toxic Narcissistic abuse & trauma bond. Now im feeling Stronger & healthy & great. You helped me in this journey. I regularly check your stuffs to make myself stronger & to avoid some confusions about the decision ive made to safeguard myself from a Narcissist. Now im following "No contact" & this will go on forever. I ll never turn back, will always keep moving forward
Brother can we talk each other about our experience
He slandered my name to ppl who never met me...and led a double life ...he lived as a family with me and told everyone else he would meet that he was single
I just want them to leave me alone
If you tell them to leave you alone, but then they don't, you can tell them that unless they stop, you will have the law enforce your right not to be harassed.
Hi Danish I started crying listening to your video because exactly same thing happening with me and I am keeping low esteem and trying to bring me up comparing with low people as was given to me as role model. For anything happening in the family my husband taking account of me and my actions which is bringing everything worst possible to the family. I learnt about npd recently few months ago. Now I don't know how to cope with the fact that iam living with a Narcissit.and iam over whelmed.
you are very accurate They will never speak the truth and blame on others for their weakness and they will never encourage anyone .They have négative mindset. They will act really to make others belive that their is no fault in them.
You are spot on... l have been trapped in this for years... you are 100% correct
No contact ever again,!!
Thank you! Your videos have helped me understand the last 36 years of my life a a narcissistic husband. Thank you, thank you.
Danish, thank you for the great content. It amazes me how well you understand narcissism. Also, thank you for the encouraging words.
Ahh... Reflections on My Past. Brings a warm smile to My face.
Narcissists know it's inevitable that their different Sources will Cross Paths. When this Happens, the Narc goes into Sheer Panic Mode. They Create, or try to, Animosity between the Sources before Crossing Paths. Then the Narc does Everything Humanly Possible to NOT let the Sources be alone together. The Narc has to Control the Situation. They don't realize that their Behavior is so Suddenly Odd to Everyone Present and Unless You have Any knowledge about Narcissism, You can't Figure Out what's this Sudden High Strangeness.
They are not God, although they Will Claim to be Higher and Mightier than God. The sources wil end up with moments to talk without the Narc Present Contolling the Conversation. They find their God Power isn't so Great afterall. The Sources will learn- They actually have No Animosity toward each other, there never was a reason for that.
The Narc is Stuck, they now HAVE No Choice but to Choose- Which Source are they going to Ease Up on, which are they Going to Double Down on with their Venom. Which One has Less to Offer that they can Risk that Source Exiting their Life?
Pretty well Turns Out- Everybody Leaves the Narcissist!
The way you explain everything is excellence ❤❤❤
About double lifes: mine used to say that having secrets was not lying, that he needed his space, his intimacy... That it was part of his freedom...
Not telling something was not lying: how could I be so stupid!!
I have seen all of this!!!! One of the things I have noticed about narcissists are that they are people pleasers out in public but angry often at home where they see having to comply as something to be resisted. They will submit to others in public but resist and get angry about when at home.
They don't want you to know that they are cowards.
Danish you are making this so clear it’s helping me on a whole other level- I have been out of the relationship for 2 1/2 years still have residual emotional issues- we spoke & met to talk and it turned out horribly/ he’s a compulsive liar/ I wanted to mend fences and move on yet he’s a bitter mean guy who insists on blaming me. This is helping me
Realize that I never had LOVE - I was a object to him
You are so right...after years I realized that I was only to him i was just a means to an end...my dream was a little family with a cottage and in the end realize i've just been sucked dry. I was used...He made my life hell...am only here because of my children who he manipulated against me, everything what counted to him was the money, controll and feeding himself on our reactins...
Yes, unfortunately...all the aspects you mentioned are the same...sad but true...I am now depressed, no power, no friends, not even police on my side everyone he lied to just to keep his 🎭 of victim, charming.
I called police, because he was violent, but he lied to them so they took me wirh and brought me into psychoatry unjustly treated wirh neuroleptics, clearminded.
Him as an Aggressor, psychopathic, liar was there wirh my children, with those who saw his violence on me...Unfortunately, he always gets the chance to gut my suffering at my expense and to have fun at my expense... Great and everyone believes him.
Justice, doctors, police, my family...
I have no more life, my health is ruined, I have no strength, I am drained and drained.
My social environment turned away from me, manipulated and believing I was crazy...what shel I do? My creations to fight against him, such as free myself from him are totally gone...don't know how to help myself when there is no one there to help anyway, because everyone falls for their lies, as soon as they fell for them...
here in Germany the victim has no chance.
When his mask fell, he revealed that a monster was hiding behind it.
If he could, he wouldn't even shy away from murder.
He tried to strangle me, but also the children.
Now I just keep quiet and avoid him, isolated, depressed, ..I need to look forward but the damage is huge...You once mentioned an interesting aspect, that we shouldn't start fighting a pig, otherwise we'll only get dirty.
Yes, if I had known beforehand..
So true. Every single word is so true.
Thank You Mr. Bashir.
This has got to be the best video ever jealousy is dangerous it has people very mixed up and irrational my experience with the narc had me see that there are two sets of rules their rules for you and no rules for them, they lack boundaries and will not be faithful at all
They don't want you to know that they are fearful
They're masters at selective amnesia alright !!!
Know every game they have under their sleeve and WILL NOT GET THE CHANCE TO ABUSE ME AGAIN. they are extremely damaged.
9:35 They go through others suitcases and bags. And i believe documents too.
Thank you for these videos. I found you on Instagram and so glad I did! Every one of your posts I can relate to and I see there are many other as well. I hope we all are able to be free one day. ❤️
Free one day
May God help us
Brilliant educational video!
Thank you so much!
OMG 😳 I had a dream that zombies were chasing me. I don't watch scary movies and I've only seen zombies on commercials advertising shows on tv. IA few days after that dream me and my narcissistic boyfriend of 2 years had a huge argument and I broke up with him. I said he's dead inside and he has no soul. After listening to this episode from Danish I now can understand the dream. They are monsters. They are dead inside and out. They have no life. They have no soul. They chase the living for supply. That's Gary.
Yes, Gary Hidle, the fiddle cheated me!