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5 Weakness All Narcissists Have But Don't Want You To Know
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- čas přidán 18. 08. 2024
- In this episode, I talk about the weaknesses all narcissists have and how these weaknesses drive their behaviour. I talk about how their narcissistic traits are quite a display of their insecurities that they don't want you to know about.
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Chapters
0:00 Intro
0:34 Weakness One (Lack of Self-Reflection)
02:03 Weakness Two (Competitiveness)
04:19 Weakness Third ( Chronic Need for stimulation)
06:45 Weakness Fourth (Obsessive Need to be admired)
09:20 Weakness Five (Addiction-based personality patterns)
"Always someone else's fault." Always! They take no accountability as that would be an admission of guilt which is why they never say: "I'm sorry" (and mean it.) They can isolate you from your friends, family, your own feelings, thoughts, needs - your very life can be destroyed and you can be left for dead. Listen to Danish - these types of people are capable of destroying you. Never underestimate the wickedness they are capable of.
They are not people, there is nothing human in them, they are demons.
So so sad , but having left my wife of 12 years , over 3 months ago , I am experiencing so much, and trying to learn from this pointless and sad situation. What I am noticing is my little life is perhaps a microcosm of the macrocosm. Our world seems to have managed to allow many individuals with various levels of NPD into places of power and influence .
@@tripzville7569 so so true... it's a sign of the times? A growing phenomenon? What we might have understood "rogue" to mean in the past... is now a question of: "How many of you ARE there?!?🤔🧐🤨
@@sherrymurphy855 it's a good question , but funny at the same time !😊😊
🎯‼️✅✔️💯‼️
Hit that like button for Danish if my list helped you save a little time. Thanks❤️
1. Failure to self reflect and look inward
2. They don’t collaborate but compete
3. They’re chronically bored and their interests are short lived
4. Their fear of being ashamed makes them obsessed with how they appear in other people’s eyes
5. They’re more codependent than codependents
Thanks for putting this down. It helps to see a list. Cheers!
@@susanfox-mx3nv ❤️
Thank you for writing the notes 🙏💛🙏
@@roxymovie3938 ❤️
Thank you for spelling it out for me and others !! This will help me out alot
"There is no rest for the wicked."
Wow. There it is in a nutshell. Thank you.
Amen
After my marriage to my narcissist was over, my daughter told me that he told her that because his big brother married a chubby woman (a very sweet lady), he wanted to prove to his brother that he was "better", so he picked me: someone skinny and busty to show off to his brother. No wonder I never felt loved by him: I was a just a trophy to boost his low self-esteem.
I’m sorry you were used in this way. But I hope you realize over time that he’s the problem, not you. ❤
He was exhausting
Although I was so much in love, I left him because my health worths more than his company/relationship.
Drinking addiction which he hid, I suspect cocaine also and going out a lot at night , bars, clubs.
At day a serious career man, respectful, smiling. At night, a dark, mysterious player, going who knows where, doing who knows what.
Dangerous daemon!
I left! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 I made it !
Ladies, leave such monsters!
Gambling drinking addiction- yh plenty of narcissistic rages! Entertaining 3rd parties for ego & validation , ‘freinds ‘ are just enablers it was exhausting 😓
The narcissists I have met loved surrounding themselves with dumb and obedient people or very young children, who are naturally weak-willed and weak-minded compared to a mature adult. What triggered them most was a clever person who had their own ideas. They were attracted to smart people from afar, but they seemed to hate them when they were in the same space. They seemed to see clever people as a menace, even if they didn't do anything at all.
And those narcissists could not cope with somebody walking out on them, or when they saw that their evil manipulative words fell on deaf ears.
you've met my mother-in-law
exactly, my ex would hate it when I tell him what's on my mind... I go straight to the point, a truth teller.. and he can't handle it... so he goes out to the street and looks for supplies who would see him as a god
"they sacrifice their loved ones in the process" - including their children. And YES, Danish, these people are addicts in some way shape or form. And again, it IS a choice... Timshel. Keep up your good work - wishing you blessings now and always.🙏
Exactly. Even when all is suffering their nature, their punishments, their bad physical abuse, still, how can they say "sacrifice " more...You don't do enough...it's not enough to give all time, all care, abandon Ur own sleep, do all work for them, they do nothing...and still, it's "not enough sacrifice done".
Only when we are dead...I guess.
@@anettszabo108 yes - the death of us is their ultimate goal - the death of any type of goodness... whatever light they can dim or dispose of - these people are wicked - plain and simple. One of my newest prayers goes something like this: "Dear God, please take him to heaven - take him to hell - just take him off the face of the earth so that we may breathe freely without fear of doing so." Lord help us survive the wickedness of the world. 🙏
It IS their choice to be vindictive, spiteful, violent, cruel, perverse and cause trauma to others - spot on!
Most narcissist people are pathologically jealous by nature. You are right in saying "they do not collaborate only compete" They do not ask for feedback nor fair discussion before making any decision that affects or hurts others because everything is justified in their eyes for their own selfish gain. Heaven forbid if they are a parent or the sole breadwinner in a family.
They are full of spite and will ridicule, humiliate and yes, annihilate anyone they see as a rival.
Control is everything to them.
A judge would consider this criminal if brought before a court of law, right? Unfortunately, the law only covers under 18 or over 65 years old to consider it child or Elder abuse.
The truth of the matter is it is any vulnerable person at risk.
We need better measures in our judicial system to help guard victims of narcissistic abuse . Abuse is abuse.
Is that asking for too much?
💔
Danish, I can totally relate to the last part where you said that the narcissist cannot be alone, hates to be alone. My ex Narc husband fits this example to a T. When we were dating, I got tired of waiting for the relationship to go to the next level after 3.5 years, so I decided to break up with him. He lost it. A person who cheated and devalued me, lost it. Begging to not end the relationship, crying. We wound up married and it was truly a nightmare life for 15 years. I had no idea what a narcissist was, or what was wrong with this man, though I spent 18 years wracking my brain trying to figure it out. His second wife, same exact thing. She got tired of waiting, gave him an ultimatum, and he begged and cried and came up with the engagement ring, but from appearances is repeating the same old pattern. Also the trophy part. He paraded me and the children around as a bragging point, me mostly for looks and kindness, and the kids for basically anything they did. We were definitely trophies. The people he cheated with, almost always, were not that good looking and my Mom & friends used to tell me it was because he really was insecure and lesser attractive women would feed his ego more and make him feel so important. Also he is a habitual cheater and alcoholic.
😅😅
My story is eerily similar
exactly this! he said that he has a deeper connection with me than any women he would have sex with.. and his friends said that he would meet up with not-so-good-looking women.. and he was withholding sex from me... I was so over everything... good riddance
Is every narcissist goes through the same pattern?
i feel so.. i've been thinking a lot about this... I feel the root cause is abandonment... these are children who were abandoned.. so they end up abandoning themselves and abandoning people.. it's a cycle of hurt.. that's why they are the way they are...@@ishiirohilla2154
My narcissistic ex wife habits:
1) Hoarder (trash all over the house)
2) addicted to her phone
3) selfish
4) bossy
5) A cheater; not a loyal partner.
6) used me and our two kids as trophies to look "good" in front of others
7) no accountability
8) blames others for her failure
9) insecure
10) fears being alone
11) night owl
exactly what my ex bf is.. they're cheater, they lie a lot, they go out at night a lot, they are protective with their phones, they are messy... i feel like narcissists come from one devilish soul.. that's why we basically have the same experience with them..
yeah he is a bit of a hoarder in the sense that he needs to get different versions of a product.. we end up having 10 different salsa, and a bunch of different snacks in the fridge...
Hoarding I see more with the codependents......the narcissist is more an extremely perfectionist....But of course they always switch between the extremes.....No balance nowhere in their life.....
@@sheemay4281
The worst part of my situation was that my ex narcissist wife discarded me and my two kids so she can sleep around with random men on dating apps. I gave her one last opportunity to choose between her family or her bullshit double life, she chose to be a slut. She felt no remorse. Today, many of her friends stopped talking to her and now ignore her, I am avoiding all types of contact including text messages, our two sons can't stand being around her and dislike her.
I believe my ex narcissist wife will die alone in her own filth And nobody will give a shit.
it's sad but I gave her endless chances to change for the better, she never wanted to change.
@@sheemay4281you're right.. a narcissist can indeed destroy you both emotionally and spiritually.
This video is spot on and very validating. In my 17 years of marriage, we lived in 8 different homes, some within the same city. He constantly wanted something else. Some of the homes made us very mortgage poor. I was given the task of the move; he would disappear when it came time to pack, move, and unpack. The children and I were never able to put down roots. When the marriage ended, we were $78,000 in credit card debt due to the constant spending for things and for vacations. He would think nothing of spending our income on himself when the money was needed for basics for us.
100% "his fault", aye?
Sounds exactly like what a true narcissist would say.
@@dayhikr140 "How dare you... blah blah" is also a textbook narcissist response. 😂
Deleting comments now, aye?
@@safeeffective385your comments are pure narcicism!!!
Cruel....
Very good video spot on. Addiction to alcohol,sex,praise, can’t be alone with themselves,always right, explosive reactions to slight criticism a total nightmare to live with.
Narcissism is a weakness! Its the coping strategy from an infant for...sake!
The first weakness was the alcohol abuse. And now when you explain that, I've noticed that boredom, and it always seemed to me as the restlessness. I couldn't explain that in any other way.
So so sad , but having left my wife of 12 years , over 3 months ago , I am experiencing so much, and trying to learn from this pointless and sad situation. What I am noticing is my little life is perhaps a microcosm of the macrocosm. Our world seems to have managed to allow many individuals with various levels of NPD into places of power and influence .
So when the novelty wears off, or start to, they actually seek something else to heighten their addict way. When they get mad, scream, get into fits it feeds them because it's like a drug high😮... oufffffffffff! What an awful life 😳
This is so so true! I've been in a relationship for 19yrs with a man that has NEVER EVER taken accountability for his actions! His parents were the same way! It's always Someone else's fault, when CLEARLY they acted out of anger because his demands weren't met! Man, SPOT ON...I'm quite proud of myself for moving out and been in DV therapy for 18months....he sure does wants others to think they are something they aren't! Unbelievable! Thank you so much!
Yes!
A child's emotional control in a grown body 🤔
💯The narc that I know exhibits all of these traits. Before I knew what a narcissist was, I used to ask him why does raising our son feel like a competition with you🤷🏽♀️?
@@AnnA-tu3ig Sounds like your SIL is definitely a narcissist. Narcissists are incapable of being happy for anyone else.
Nothing was ever completed. He would start a project but never finished it. I was always puzzled why and became the one to finish whatever he started.
Omg that is my father. Plus a hoarder. They are the least damaging and ‘good part’ of his behavior and personality. A sayer, not a doer.
I definitely notice this from my wife. She is not afraid to call other people narcissists ironically. Had an argument with her recently letting her know my boundaries of how just because she is in pain or something is bothering her does not give her entitlement to be mean to my son and me, and that I am not ok anymore with being an emotional punching bag (contradiction because shes told me how I should not be a punching bag for other people... so basically i shouldnt let them do it but she can?) She got angry and made it about something else and eventually was smart enough to pick one wrong thing I said and only wanted to focus on that.
Every school should teach about these things. Teach empathy and help caring people recognize toxic people
Thank you for this message. I was researching about the weaknesses of narcissists yesterday. I was and still reading the book "The Art of War". I had a short relationship with a narcissist and called him out on his behavior. Apparently, he did not like that and is not communicating with me. But I am positive he had/have supplies on hand. A red flag in the beginning was the love bombing, then I noticed the subtle put downs against me. I hope this helps anybody. Please guard your heart, research this topic and take time to heal!
I experienced the same..
Best thing they can do is not communicate. Best thing you can do is completely block them from your entire life and never have anything to do with them again
Yes, they definitely want to be better than everyone, when the reality of it is people would rather vomit in the mouth and swallow it than be around them one second....at least ones that truly see them for the horrendous creatures they are.
My criminal covert narc mother and criminal ex-husband. I have been waiting for this video for a very long time. 👍THANK YOU!
You put into words what I’ve experienced. Makes me see it more clearly. I had to be the only discipline for my children. Discipline is a form of love. They also got lots a warm fuzzy love. But the narc is a coward with no backbone and played the nice guy always wanting to be liked and not exercising discipline. It’s a competition in their mind. They only think they win. lol. There’s joy in knowing you did the right thing for your child. I’ve had the glory of numerous people telling me I did an awesome job of raising my son. I’ve heard it a lot.
I didn’t do it for the glory. I just did the hard work of doing the best parenting.
inability to self reflect. Emotional disregulation leading to impulsivity / shame, inability to take responsibility for their own lives
I wish we’d had these kinds of videos years ago. I’m so thankful ❤
Jealousy is their Achilles' heel. Watch their face the moment something good happens to you. It looks like one of those time lapse videos where someone ages 10 years in 3 seconds 😂
Lol, that's a fact, if you do well, they will treat it as bragging because it hurts them. Better off not mentioning your luck or success or they'll punish you
@@user-fu4iw5dx3f Agree!
That's when they temporarily drop their mask and watch out because here comes the "joke" about your win. Corny mf's lollll
As always, when I tune into you, I feel so good when I have my coffee and my Danish
I have seen it all🙌
My I married 26 years to one of these people, thanks to your videos I now have boundaries and I am learning to live with them but not for them
We should acknowledge that we can also have these traits within ourselves best amongt us is who can overcome these shortcomings but narcissist can never be wrong so they are unable to grow within themselves
Arrogance. Their arrogance is not just a weakness but a form of stupidity. It makes them overestimate themselves and underestimate others. Never a good idea. Plus, their perpetual boredom renders them boring. Narcissists are boring and predictable people.
You're so right...
To go on from #2 (competitiveness) I would also say that they are always competing for power in relationships. A relationship is not meant to be a power struggle.
Such a miserable life. It all makes sense.
The accuracy‼️‼️
When my mother came down with dementia collaboration between us 4 sisters was important. Nope - all about the “competition” which was amplified given dysfunctional family history. “Ten years later they are exactly the same” description TRUE except narcissistic behaviors in my experience are amplified over time.
Walking on eggshells constantly and always ends in some offense and the inevitable “punishment” - smear campaigns and stonewalling. Ugh.
You are spot on. This is 💯 true. This is a very great and informative video. 👍
Number 1 thing I have found is their self worth is so low they will do anything to win you over. I don't fall for that. Ever.
When I started finally fighting back he would call me names. I called him old. He never got over it. I think that was the start of the discard for sure
Every time I call him “old” and he gets mad . It’s not like I’m lyin , it’s the truth🤷🏾♀️😆
@@jameshasweetz exactly....but to be fair he called me a cunt whore slut and bitch in the first few months of going out..claimed i was cheating ....I was at a funeral
From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
Thanks again. God bless you always.
God bless you at age 28 or a little earlier and
that you had this much wisdom.
So many people did not even hear about this
until they were in their 60s or older.
Thank you Danish! Your videos help me understand what I was married to! The blaming, the belittling, trying to turn people against me and so on and so on.
U r absolutely right...
Mom.
You’re right! Some Narcissists are addicted to sex. I’m Married with Children to one. In her eye’s, she can do NO WRONG. Plus she has a bad habit of holding onto her past which include’s the trauma from childhood. @DanishBashir
I have seen every one of these weaknesses in my next door neighbour and my brother in law, thank you Danish 👍
You too huh? I swear my SIL had her daughter just to one up me and my wife. 4 sons, had a baby girl at age 38 and leaves her at home while she travels everywhere.
Excellent analysis and entirely correct! Well done 👏
I know a narcissist who is in his 70s, still moving from house to house, still trying to make more income, attain more certifications, etc.
He is never satisfied with what he has achieved or attained.
He had an exceptionally lucrative career and made tons of money. It's never enough.
He cannot appreciate or enjoy what he has.
I don't have nearly the income he has, but I am thankful and happy. I have called him out about a lot of his behavior including lack of empathy. 😮
He is no longer speaking to me 😂
The last vulnerable narcissist I dealt with had a strong social media presence and internalized EVERY negative comment he received from random followers or trolls on his profiles. He literally lashed out at them or had to prove them wrong, or worse, create a pity post based on a comment, so he would receive positive validation from his "fans". I noticed he would always respond to every negative comment but not the positive ones, which is not a good sign of networking. Meanwhile, I saw him trolling and provoking himself on other profiles. They definitely can't take what they dish out themselves. And, of course, so many other red flags. Not the first vulnerable narcissist I have dealt with. Glad I noticed.
I can visualize my mother in law through your speeches...
i would love to see this guy work with anoushka!they both have exellent things to say.. good match!!
You are the only person who can explain and describe what I am going through and what I feel.
Never was secure of himself, always blamed others, always judged everyone and anyone, constantly lied about everything and anything, always ruined specials dates or occasions, said he HATED CHEATERS but cheated on me
You are correct. It's sad to be someone like this. Maybe I am too.
By your description of the narc behavior it's very apparent how much you have dealt with them. Only a person who have endured that hell can describe these things so accurately. ❤ my heart goes to you
Truth 💯
Soo very accurate indeed!. I would
add something I am experienceing: when they throw tantrums, it is not the inner child coming out, it is all about control: my narcissist even tells me that she cries because this way she obtains anything she wants from people (especially as she hates to work and do any work whatsoever). She even tells me that We are the dumb ones because We do what she wants whenever she sheds tears and that We should not complain if she uses this fabvourite weapon of hers.
Everything you said was so on point. Thankbyou God bless.
A perfectionist. Moving furniture to clean etc weekly. Never satisfied with their children, always criticizing their hair, clothes, their friends, their room, their lifestyle. Nothing is ever good enough for them. They show love to others outside their family but not lovie for their children. It causes anxiety, depression, PTSD, insecurity for their family. They demand unconditional love and respect’ it’s a horrible life in their home. 😢
So true in every word of what you said. Thank you for your program.❤
This is a perverse form of child abuse.
I was the trophy child and my father was the trophy husband. My mother was a MD and she could not conceive of a doctor being married to anyone less than a MD. She constantly disparaged doctors who married nurses for example. She had a woman doctor friend who married a man who was in Real Estate. He was a very nice man and did very well. Dr. Grace really loved him. My mother thought he was a nice man but an "unsuitable" match for an educated, professional woman. Threre's more to my parents' story but I hadn't really thought about their marriage in this light. It confirms to me however, that she never loved my father but she needed what he could offer. She was 30 years old when she married him in 1940 and I didn't come along until 6 years later so she was getting a bit anxious to put it mildly. I think my father probably did love her at first but he realized he'd made a deal with the devil and it was only because of me, he stayed until she blew up the family.
I can persist and sign. Good summary.
Spot on
My brother is a narcissist and he is awful to deal with. He is homeless, broke and dependent on our mother for everything he eats. Our mother BTW is going thru her 2nd bout of breast cancer that has now metastasized to her liver. He won't have long to depend on her. I will not take care of him. He won't take medication to help his thought processes...just wants pain pills. When she goes he is done
My husband would always run and start calling his exes every time we had an àrguement. He was very insecure and he loved to pretend that things were perfect between us just to get attention from people and they would say your husband is so sweet
What he is saying is the truth perfectly explained
Dis da most realistic video yet so therapeutic
Danish you are soooooOOO good! I thank God for you!
Never wished to upgrade their course though i was ready to pay the fees...
When tried to convince He would always feel that i was belittling him and would show his rage all this within eye blink...
Competitive and addiction. My mom competed with my father, she is still afraid of being alone. After kicking my dad out she cried being alone. She got addicted too pot and money hungry big time.
Constantly living on the edge, fight or flight mode with suppression of our feelings or beliefs is 🥱EXAUSTING! AND When they won't or can't leave you it's 10x worse!! Only a miracle will change them or save you from their TOXINS. I choose Life and U best GET ON BOARD or be left behind is the only option for me.😉
I got dumped thank god lol, it was the most confusing relationship i’ve even been in or witnessed. I felt very loved at times, very confused other times with the rejections and total lack of support…. Unless there was some type of drama involved. It was exhausting to be around, pure chaos, no peace whatsoever with this woman. I feel sad for her and more sad for whomever supply is next on the conveyer belt.
My ex made two groups in family .He and children one side and i was left alone and he used to laugh at me.
I am so sorry you have experienced this-only an evil individual can even begin to think to do this act.Hope you have emotionally recovered-they steal the good times we could have with our children.
You are so awesome. Thank you for all you do!
"I was not like this, it was my mother's fault, my father's fault, my brother's ignorance, all my exes were wrong and didn't treat me right. I couldn't find the perfect one, thats why sex with each and every one of them gave me that high, but i call it love when im having it with you".
These are the exact things that i faced with a narscistic girl in my life.
What a good riddance !!
Yeah.
Spot on u r always on point. About these empty washing machine. May tag..keepgoing bashir.🎉🎉❤
Very helpful. Thanks.
I didn't realize codependency would be one 😳 Thanks for that
Thank you thank you so much for being here for all of us that need this information you confirmed a lot for me dealing with my ex which I'm still legally married to 19 years of this Behavior which made me think that I was going crazy that everyone said that I changed that's the trauma Bond now he is blocked for over 8 months on social media my phone etcetera God bless you
Would always say he was fine, no matter how bad a situation was. Same facial expression, no emotion. I can go on and on, but I'm in healing, and this is sad to know I didn't discover this til the bomb went off (the discard).
I feel bad for them. What a hellish existence...
Narcissists made my trust in God grow, and made me understand that 'ONLY GOD CAN FIX A NARCISSIST'
because a Narcissist has the mind
of a child, they can't be judged as an adult, so this is true:
Matthew 18:10
Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for l say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.
To come to this conclusion, you need to research the whys of a Narcissist being the way they are.
You hit all 5 in my experiences. Excellent video!
God bless you Danish! This video hit home for me in my quest to understand my soon to be ex narc. Thank you for sharing your insights so eloquently! 🙏❤️
Kindly explore or make videos about ANTAGONIST NARCISSIST.
Very well explained 👌
My ex is hurting our children in order to hurt me, he ignores them doesnt participate in anything in their lifes. If they call him he will not pick their calls or relate with them as a father but rather blemes them 4 things they cant understand and creates stories that neva happened or how the children are using their mother to hurt him.... Despite having a father alive my children are fatherless bcos he hurts them at will in order to bring me down or hurt me. He keeps malice with my children and any of his relations who is friendly with me. I feel it so much 4 my innocent children, they are paying 4 my stupid my mistakes 4 marrying such a devil. I think my ex is one of worst if the narcissist.... How do i protect my children from being hurt by their father?
I don't think you can. At some point, they'll see through him and decide to distance themselves from him. But they'll get hurt by him in the meantime. They'll survive those hurts, though, and they'll have at least one stable parent in you -- which is enough for their own psychological health.
People think narcassist are great people clearly showing you the unseen.
1. Idol worship
2. Self doubt
3. Their need to feel included
4. Competition, submission, or inclusion
5. A spell
6. The process of taking over another persons will
7. The shock effect
8. The ability of distortion (good is bad) stink is sweet, dirty is clean
9. Self promotion
10. Self advertisement
Ultimately a display of power which is actually force, deception and manipulation.
Beautifully said
Haii, Danish. I'm from Indonesia. Thank you very much for your sharing and your explanation that help my family members recover. God bless you and your family always! I'm waiting for your new videos 😃
The parenting scenario is so true that you present.
Wnderful , thank you Danish 😍😍😍
Yes they are frozen in time.
Every word is true i 100% experienced with my EX , they are very dangerous ,
Very insightful...and I can resonate with all five..😮
You are a gift
I have one relative who used to demand respect for herself, her husband and children irrespective of the situation. Her recent avthar is she expects everyone should not invite a person whom she chooses to dislike . To hide her inferiority complex she projects herself , her husband ,children and son in laws as a superior breed .
I think all narcs are addicted to domination
6. Weaknesses: Thanks to the internet, people can see right trough these types of personalities and games they're playing.
People don't have to see the narcissist rottenest, they can SMELL it. It's terrible 😮
Great video Danish. Thanks again.