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5 Ways To Defeat A Narcissist In Their Own Game
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- čas přidán 18. 08. 2024
- In this episode, I explain how you can defeat a narcissist in five powerful ways.
Chapters
00:00 Intro
01:08 Don't React
03:15 Document Everything
04:45 Don't Take The Bait
07:48 Don't React To Their Aggression
11:31 Become Your Best Version Possible
15:00 Behind The Scenes
What are your experiences with this?
My issue is he does the nice loving then gas lights arguments over little meaningless things..then tells me he doesn't want me...and goes silent until I cave and chase him. I need to NOT respond. He definitely takes my dedication and loves and uses that against me. Your video hit home in every single way. Thank you for making these videos. I know what I need to do but your videos make these visions more clear.
To quote a line from “Wargames”
The only way to win is to not play the game
💯
How not to play his game - if we were completely divorced '18... And now he puts out a layers and judges out again. .. For wanting to take me away my son, money for him also - and the house where we are living...
And the thing is - I really don' t want anything... I want to go away from this small shit place where I'm living only because of him... And he doesn't let me go - with a kid... That's why now... He wants to take me him away... For no other reason - now I need to defend me... Again...
My favorite way to get back at them is to go back into a sexual encounter, then mention it wasn’t any good, and then disappear on them. Reverse ghostification, and I make sure my social media pictures have ambiguously suggestive pix as tho I moved on w something and someone better 🙃…then mostly blocking.
LO with vacuuming Narcissism & schizophrenia. I am there because of ones mental health tendancies & because one is family. One has absolutely no one there. No friends & no family. One can not see, nor accept my care for one - & gives hot & cold messages - & once I have replied, one will then go quiet for days on end. Then the abuse comes again, because I no-longer chased (ones silence) anymore, to show I care and I am there. I have not responded with any negative replies nor do I plan to. This pain is tough, very tough. Especially from the emotional abuse I recieve & the games one plays. I have backed off now. I don't know what will happen from here. I can no longer take the pain. It is tough as I don't want LO to think I no longer care but I also don't want the abuse etc - as it has caused such huge impact on my mental health & affected my care roles for my own family at home. I lost my strength & my hope, that one will come back to ones usual friendly self. One often gave empty promises about visiting & later gave no reason why one said one wasn't visiting (after myself asking if one still was). I have not fully walked, simply because we are family, one has no one, one has mental health tendencies (like mentioned), we were very close for a long time & I deep down still care. I have done a lot of research on LO's illness & many types of Narcisism etc and a lot seems to fit. Thank you so much for your video. I shall subscribe now.
Edit: I wanted to also add that one uses suicide - to reel myself in. I would never forgive myself if one did such. One has said this many times now & hasn't, although one did reel me in. I fear if ones game doesn't work, one may do such, if I don't show I still care. One probably won't, but it's just that fear, incase.
“Their accusations are their confessions” that’s brilliant and so true👏🏼🙏🏻
Omg I just told him this last week and then he comes home and goes an sees another woman ugh I wish I could get out
yes, i cant agree more with this. She cheated on me, and it was going on for a while. When I confronted her, she came up with the exuse that she is confused and needs space. Then she said she wants to see where the relationship with the cheater will go. I asked for closure and she stonewalled me, and then gave me silent treatment. She resfused to take my calls or answer my texts. I have kept the pictures of us together , so if she ever tries to come back at me, i have proof of what went on, and can handle this that way. She blamed me for the problems of the relationship, and when i asked that we talk about this she went silent on me. For the first 10 days since the breakup, she replied to some texts, and we had a few calls, where she wanted to say only how she feels, and not take my feelings into consideration. Selfish, I know. Same pattern during the 5 years we were together. I have now gone silent , and no contact. I dont care if she comes back to talk or not now. I have had the release i needed from God, according to his word in 1 Sameul, where God talks about wanting things that is not good for us. Now is the time to fill up my life with Gods love, and move on. Dont give your love to somone that doesnt want it, and waste your time. The longer you hold on here, the worse your fate will be. They dont ever recognise that they have problems and need help. In my case she replaced me first,so she can get validation and admiration from her new so called love.
Go in Gods grace , and hope my experience can help someone one day. I spend a lot of time in the Word of Christ, and watching these clips which has helped me. I never thought she was doing this. so empower your self, and dont give in to the blame game, and nonsense they come up with.
I also know she watches my social status on Whatsapp. Now she stopped and does not check, but she did last week, and will get mad when I dont run back to her.
My poor sons especially the younger 2 are her narc supply. I worry so much about them as they are only 13 and 10. Josh and Jordan. I have no idea how to do this because of the dram a and the society seeing me as the evil perpetrator.
Dear Danish, my only way of dealing with my narc ex partner was to leave as I had become so traumatised. I used to cry and cry as I never thought I would go through this. I spent time in prayer to God, and in fasting and psalm 91 was my constant consolation and hope. God is my only hope and my faithful friend.
It's backwards confessions, they do it alllllll the time
“If you wrestle with a pig, you’re going to end up dirty and the pig enjoyed the fight.” 😂😂😂 LOL
F’n fantastic 🙌 Thank you for this!!!
Yes it stood out to me too. Heh heh !! { Well said Danish} I'll remember. that.
‘What miracle happened that they changed overnight after a decade of severe abuse…’ 😂😂😂😂 exactly
lol Did Moses Part the Red Sea again? Did he become Peter and walked on water for a minute? Lmao 🤣 The Devil is a liar. He comes to steal, kill and destroy. There is only one true miracle. When a person realizes what’s up and takes off forever. That is the miracle. 😂
1. Leave & take back my power.
2. Win my 1/2 of the assets.
3. Learn the lessons & heal
4. Reconstruct my life
5. Thrive in peace & freedom
This looks easy in point form…but it took 5 years🌟
It took almost 6 years for me🤓 I was a people pleaser and Empath....trying to start over
Can I reconstruct my life by living separately from my husband but not divorcing him? Will that work ?
@@Sanakhan-gd1sxNO!!!!!
It took 19 Years by me, but I did it, NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR SELF!
Took me 37 years to realize this POS is a narcissit!
Little tip from me: If a narcissist starts being aggressive, try to view the situation from a scientific point of view, while thinking "what an interesting situation". It will cause you to detach from your own emotions and kick your logical parts of brain into function.
Yes. Absolutely. Put on your lab coat and become a scientist. It works!
Yes it works
😅
This is beautfiul... Yes... watch them like. YOU are testing them. I love that!
@@almohvn33Best way to fight an enemy is to use their own tactics against them. Never care about or pity narcissists. Don't fall for their ploys. Narcissists are demonic players out to destroy. It is not always easy for them to find targets and that is why they do not want to let go of you. It might be difficult to do but don't get fooled. Don't fall for it and get sucked in again. Narcissists are out to destroy. The abuse only gets worse.
They often provoke you subtly to get you to react, so they can paint you as the bad person. Do not take the bait. If you act like you didn't understand their insults, they will get less and less subtle each day. One day, they will blow up and display aggression in a way that gets noticed by all. Wait for that moment to respond. It will give you the moral ground to take action. If you had documented everything they did all along, it will be easier to report their behavior.
Exactly🎉
I give her silence treatment forever, this is how I defeat the Narcissist, stay strong good people I love ❤u
Silent treatment is a nacissistic abusive tactic. 'No contact' is that what you mean ?
@@annekerotterdam7499 yes
Don't walk away, RUN!
Yes, he said terrible terrible things to me and about me. Things I wouldn’t not say to anyone. When all their tactics fail, they attack like a rabid dog. It almost drove me crazy. The police were not supportive in my hillbilly town. I still got out and I still came out ahead. Have faith if you are in this type of situation. Nothing is worse than being in that. Keep pushing forward! I won! I am free now! I don’t think he realizes it yet though lol 😂
The bible said it. IN THE LAST DAYS PEOPLE (NARCISSIST) WILL BEHAVE LIKE WILD DOGS. THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WITH THE MARK OF A BEAST.
You realise it..and thats MORE THAN ENOUGH,,it will be easy to see for others too..they will just know🙂
You’re free and they are not. You won and thank God you did. Gos is good!
My work place has a narc who turns all my closest colleagues and bosses against me. Wierdly I told everyone about her, but no one believes me and yet they stand on her side. I really suffer. I try to make every one sees her as she is but no one can see it.
I had that too. Seek a new job, but don't tell them. That's what I did. The truth will be revealed.because if you aren't there anymore, they can't blame you for anything. Plus the "problem" won't be resolved.
If you can't get away. Stay in your bubble. Only speak when spoken to. Wear your nicest outfits and hum to yourself....live inside your head. This shows everyone that you have happiness coming from somewhere else and that they can't bother you. This will make the narc angry...but when they are angry, they slip up.
My brother has been doing that with my neighbors,. He basically ran out of neighbors on the block that he went to standing in front of the stores and making up stories to tell anyone who will listen.
My last boss was a narcissist. I quit without notice. I opened a coin store she didn't believe it would survive. She sent in her flying monkey's, but I knew them through work. They wanted to see me fail. I retired from my coin store and sold the business. She was so jealous lol. Best revenge is success, Frank Sinatra. I couldn't agree more. Best luck it in you
@@RunningFreeForeverFree Good for you!😃😁
@@RunningFreeForeverFree was it your mom?
I did not feel safe. I planned an exit without giving any notice that I planned to leave. I burned the bridge to be sure he never tried to cross it. Gavin de Becker’s book “The Gift of Fear” is a great read about trusting your gut around volatile people.
I bought that book years ago and yes it is awesome
How did you 'burn the bridge'?
@@KG-ly5fu Making it clear you are willing to file a lawsuit and go public is a great way to incentivize them to leave you alone. You get to know them, so use their language to signal you will deliver a bees hive of trouble if they attempt any contact.
One day when he told me that I was a loser a ... you can figure out what other words, and it all came to an end when I said yes you're right I am! And you deserve better so goodbye! Boy did he backtrack my response again was oh no you should get someone better than me and then I left. There was a lot of begging and crying and promises but I never budged. I suddenly remembered who I was and took my power back.
lol I love when you not only you agree with them but by doing so they realize dang this just backfired on them. It’s hysterical to watch them realize that and try to change their tune or tactic good for you. I left my ex narc after 4.5 months and went no contact. It’s been 8 months since I left and I know it was the best decision I ever made.
I did the same and I resonate with all you say. It is such a great feeling of getting the power back.
My ex-husband lied so much about me during our divorce to put me down & I have lost at the end. It's so disgusting when I never lied about anything myself & I thought honesty would paid. 🤷 He never cared about his children.
I loved 👪❤kids❤👪
I like u
Well u make my kids
I love u merry me 💑💑😍😍🌷🌷
😭 that's s a d 💔
I'm glad your kids have YOU and can observe you and learn from you- the right way to be human.
I'm so sorry that you've had to experience this I hope that I'm visualizing the next part of your life it complete wonderful fairy tale and you live happily ever after ❤️🙂
@@sinead. Hi hee o.j. were friend ❤😍🌷
Love your idiom re: pig 😂
Very comparison i only relate to it as in the dirt 👍but the only difference is that a pig has emotions & feelings unlike any narcissist that are monsters not human beings. I never ever compare a narcissist to any animal as it's an insult to them and their intelligent animal kingdom 💯
That's the lighter side of their evil.
Parental alienation is another level of evil..beware
I am so glad you are here to help us heal! You are giving people their power back. 🥰
Great advice
Let the lies and cheating go
Leave it with them
Reject the abuse
Find yourself and make your way in this world with dignity and kindness
Good things will come from this
Peace
For the first time i come through your video and i realise that am facing the situation you have mentioned. My husband is a.....and always frightened me. He even said things which are far from my imagination. Please give tips how to handle these people. Thanks for your guidance.
I can live with the being lied to and cheated on. It's the emotional abuse that effed me up. If he was just super sweet and amazing our whole time together and then blamed and degraded himself for cheating I could deal and say okay no problem hey you know what we had some great times together and it would have been better if you broke up with me first but hey life happens so best of luck to you two and hope you don't do her dirty too! 👋
Instead I get an encyclopedia of reasons I'm not worthy chucked at my head as he walks off feeling smug, superior, and self righteous. That's the part I can't cope with. That's the stuff keeping me in therapy for years with very little progress.
It's like, dude, it's bad enough you're sleeping around behind my back...might as well just be chill about it and be sweet to me...instead of just being hostile all because you feel guilty for doing wrong by me.
😂I already know some asshole is going to comment something obnoxious as hell on here about how being lied to and cheated on is never acceptable and is mean and abusive. Ya no shit Sherlock. I'm just saying if homeboy is already sampling the menu when he knows he's got that good wholesome entree the least he could do is be cool to the entree since he's insisting on having his cake and eat it too. No need to sneak a sample platter then throw entree against the wall after all she did was tell him she loves him and hopes he had a good day but instead he has a melt down and she has no idea why she just pissed him off.
Now as you have known what your husband is doing, I think you have got an idea what you must do. You havu struggle enough, now love yourself and do whatever pleases you.
I am generally apathetic to the Narcs, which infuriates them. I don't respond to their bragging and don't follow their (usually bad) advice. When they ask intrusive questions, I tell them "I am not comfortable with that question" or "it's personal". I also don't give them special treatment. I just treat them the same way I treat everyone else, with kindness and respect. Nothing more, nothing less.
If it gets out of hand, I block them on all platforms and avoid them altogether.
I am busy divorcing my Narc husband for almost 3 years now. Accusations against me just before the pre trial,that I am abusing the children,screaming and swearing. And I also had to find out that I am a drugaddict. After the accusations we all had to go to a Forensic Pshycologist to proof him wrong. Still waiting for the results. I was like a single parent for more than 15 years. At First I was the right parent to look after them, then later no one, not me or himself must get the children, and before the pre-trial this nonsens. Just wish this "war" could end and that I can continue my life in peace with my children away from him and all of his lies.
Danish,thanks for your channel,I learned so much,and still do.
I don't react and that is what "kills" him.
He can't believe that life goes on without him in it.
Sounds exactly what happened to me, and he ended up getting custody of the children and brainwashing them against me.
Do not react ever! Never let them see you sweat! Get your emotions under control..
So true.
The hardest days are the weekends. It has been 3 months since he discarded me. He was hoovering the first months, I am determined to stay no contact. I work long hours, so when I come home I just have enough time to eat take a shower before I go to bed. I cry every week end for the last 3 months. I force myself to go to the beach but I catch myself thinking about him and looking in his best friend TikTok just in case my narc will be in the videos.
I don’t want to date anybody until I am healed.
Hi Khadja, I'm sorry you're feeling so awful.. The good news is you're already doing really well by remaining no contact ✨ & given time & narc education through various channels including this one you'll find yourself beginning to have an awakening in your soul ✨ I've found Narc Con & Dr Ramadi on CZcams very helpful with getting through the dissonance caused by these awful creatures ✨ Also being very kind to yourself, you deserve it! They really do try to rob you of yourself.. You will begin to find yourself & be on a journey to building a stronger version of yourself in time ✨ Keep going, peace & good vibes to you 🌷✌️😉🌿✨
I'm just wondering what kind of love is that for me all love will fade away when a man treat me badly. And doesn't matter how much I love him I can stop all connections immediately and not contagious t at all rest of my life
He did verbally get aggressive with me when before I totally went no contact. He played the blame game. It was such a stressful mind crippling relationship. You can't win with them unless you submit your soul to them.
Susan Weaver,You are beautiful 😍,You don’t need a narcissist in your life…
Facts 👌🏾
I stupidly broke 13 years of no contact with my covert malignant narc mother. I told her I was very, very angry at her. She just stood there calm and casual, and casually said, " I see that ".
OK. That was it. The abuse she inflicted on me, her financial and emotional crimes against me, for literally decades, and MUCH more... had enraged me for years. I was finally confronting her about it, in my mind.
And when I expressed my anger to her face, she made that casual remark.
And now I understand, it put her in control and gave her supply, as negative as it was from me. And it just utterly frustrated me, leaving me apoplectic. I expected an apology or a discussion, or SOMETHING. not just, " oh I see that".
And I've been upset by her response ever since, and it's been several years since that incident.
So; bottom line: no contact. It's a lifesaver.
Similar attitude from my N mom. Been NC for over 15 years and I have no plans on seeing her face ever again. I still can't wrap my head around how a mother can be so callous and truly not give a sh*t about their own child, as well as others being upset that I won't give her a break because she gave birth to me.
@@jpr9863 same here. Lotsa people tried to get me to talk to her...flying monkeys 🐒 🙈 🙊
... and for that same reason : " she's your mother!" Yeah and so,?? She's treated me terribly for 40+ years.
...I have a super hard time as well, trying to understand how my own mother can be so horrible to me...at least yours doesn't give a sh--. Mine does active smear campaigns against me her only daughter!!.
@@thehotcoffeehouse6081 Oh, she's full bore actively smearing me still, and had been for decades before I realized how disordered she is. I know there are some that believe her and some who don't, and realize there is something wrong with her but don't tell her that because they don't want to be targeted, too. What I mean is her senior years are finding her less in touch with reality, and in typical narcissistic style she's finding more satisfaction in defaming her daughter to others than trying to have a relationship with me. It's really sick how these people are.
@TheHotCoffeeHouse I did a similar thing. After 25 years of NC with narc mother, I sent a very neutral card to her asking if she'd be interested in speaking. She sent the card back with a message inside stating "You may contact me at this number" and she provided a number. Needless to say I reached out and within a few days it was back 25 years ago all over again. I was so disgusted with myself for trying. My two best friends encouraged me to make amends after knowing my story. I had been friends with them for 20 years. We no longer are friends. Don't be upset, it is only hurting you. They could care less, so stop hurting yourself.💜
Dang, that's rough, so sorry she can't give you any emotional care in the world like it seems a mother should! Yes, absolutely noooo contact forever would be my response too. Thank goodness for healing techniques out there that teach one to essentially be the loving mother to yourself that you never had 🙌 Wishing you peace on your journey to deep letting go, new joys, and true inner healing!! Hugs!!
I have learnt from my experience with narcissist that I shouldn't react on his aggression and here I have got your approval also... Thank you so much for this suggestion... I will keep this in my mind.How I defeat my narc husband... My answer is I have stopped wasting my energy in arguments.My devotinal practices, book reading and chanting gives me power and strength to tolerate him. One thing which I observed in my last 18 yr of journey with a narcissist that people grow with time but they never grow... They only change their ideas to fool people around them.
What you have said is so empowering. Sending you a lot of love!!
@@narcabusecoach thank you so much sir 🙏
How I defeated him was:
-Stop emotionally reacting
-Stop falling for him needing my ‘help’ to change
-Stop taking the bait when he fakes apologies
-prepare behind the scenes for the most abusive experience of your life, and SNEAK MONEY TO SAVE.
-See them as terminally mentally Ill and grieve the illusion they kept selling you they could be. They will NEVER be the delusion they sell you.
-Think Data from Star Trek… no facial expressions.
-Ignore them like a school yard bully
-I don’t recommend this in all cases, but flip the script. Start responding to them the same way they respond to you… seemingly nice gaslighting, deflection, playing the victim, and denying it anytime they accuse you of mocking them ‘why would I mock you! I love you!!?’ Lol avoid all their points and then TELL them how loving you’re being lol. This won’t defeat them but it will confuse the HELL out of them…
-Becoming hotter, better, faster, stronger without saying ANYTHING about it. Coming home looking hotter… doing better at work, more plans without them, and feigning total ignorance when they start shaming and questioning you about why you’re ‘changing’.
One thing I’ve heard from diagnosed narcissists is that meeting a more superior narcissist as a partner sobered them right up… and brought them to their knees… so… there’s always that…
Bravo. Your last statement is spot on for my old life with a covert narc. Indeed...no regrets. Freedom is precious.
Wow👏🏿
True
Sounds like you just broke someones heart and didnt want to work through a problem, and showing no emotion like you didnt even care about them or the relationship is really cold and hurt them even more.
Thats how I managed 5 years with someone who was a very skilled manipulator. His goal was to move in with me and of course get me submissive. My goal was to gain more insight in the patterns and to test my resilience for having been the scapegoat in my family and hav been married to a narcissist for 14 years without even knowing the word. After my divorce I educated on this topic 7 years and when I finally met this master manipulator I felt strong enough to go into the fire see if I have galvanized so far. Yes, I had. He was acting wonderful for 4 years but not achieving from me what he really wanted let the mask drop slowly in the last year. So I left, in a nicely but indiffernet mannor of course. He got a breakdown afterwards but I dont feel sorry for him. He has destroyed 2 wifes, 2 children and several women before. He should have listened, I told him I know narcissism very good right in the beginning.
I’m a Caucasian American female. I know a Indian Sikh couple. Arranged marriage. Marriage over 20 years. Two daughters. The husband is a major narcissist. The wife told me, when he comes home from work, the daughters quickly retreat to their rooms. And , bye her own admission, she herself cry’s a lot. So sad to know this as the only thing I could say to her, was , “I was married to a Narcissist for 20 years. The best years of my life started the day my divorce was final.”
That is so so 😔 sad. It is a blessing that you got out of that toxic situation, and hopefully she will find the courage to leave too.
I did it. No regrets. But it's not who I am and not who I want to be. It's reactive. Once you are out you can work on re-regulating but it's too hard while you are in it. Had I not spent a decade with this person I wouldn't have felt like getting them back while walking out the door. But you're half-crazed by then. This information wasn't available back then. I got out, am happy with someone else, and that's the best revenge, it's true!
You made it! One of the toughest fights you'll ever go through in life. And you're going to be a better version of yourself now
@@peacetwinkiesandlove Thank you. It was decades ago. And yes, life is good. I'm happily married to a man that loves me and whom I love. And best of all, I not only love myself, I like myself. Best wishes.
The manipulation is what I am afraid of when/if we end up in court. The crazy making over the years have mentally and physically traumatized me. If I feel for it, I'm afraid the court may as well. I have been documenting things but when my mind is so full from this stress, I get cloudy.
There are ways of dealing with these narcs in court. Look up u tube videos for tips
Exactly I have gone through the same... manipulation is their power..sis can you please give me these court tips too..
@@TheAmazingRandy biggest thing I've heard is to absolutely NOT react in court...that if...which is likely, they make up crazy stories about you etc...do not overeact...stay on the facts with, as another comment or stated, that one robotic startreck characters face 😃
I did the limited contact with my narcissistic brother for 20 years. I come to find he is pilfering my inheritance and my 95 yo dad made him trustee of my inheritance. I am now trying to salvage what is left and this requires me to have contact with him. The retraumatization is killing me. I have reduced it to text only because talking to him is like seeing the world upside down. I am beyond frustrated hurt and my self hating and body dysmorphia is at its all time high. What i feel i need to do is think and act just like him. It’s extremely, extremely difficult for an empath like me to think in this way but its my only way to secure what $ is left if I can. I am having extreme flashbacks and intense depression tacked onto my self loathing and self doubt it’s almost hard to get out of bed. My poor husband doesn’t know what to do with me. I am in intense therapy and EMDR therapy.
really on point with this - I"ve gotten out of this by simply always following the guidance of God, regardless of what I might want to do - my soul is stronger than I am, and is extracting me from this non-positive situation (it has been really painful at times, but I am able to always maintain my equilibrium :) )
Thank you so much for this. I am not a vindictive person and I have no vengeance in my heart. But I am trying to get away from this person and he's the father of my son. I want to go no contact and never think of him again. But I have to protect my son because he is using my son for emotional supply. I have to do everything in my power to protect my son who is 13 an incredibly vulnerable. My son throws up at the thought of seeing his father. And though he was an absent parent the entire time we were together suddenly he wants to see him all the time. I have been trying to be a good co-parent and work with him and collaborate but of course this didn't work at all. And I've been trying to think of the best way to escape the situation. When I saw your video I thought of how many other videos I've seen of people getting revenge on their narcissist and I'm just not like that that's not who I am at all I don't care what happens to him but I also just don't harbor that kind of hatred or that need for revenge. Suddenly I have a need to protect my son and myself. We both need to escape. So I needed this video very very badly today. Because I am working on collecting all the evidence I have that he abused me and this is very very difficult. But thank you for this incredible advice because I do need to defeat him but I don't have to look at it as if I am being vengeful because that is truly not who I am. I am a kind giving collaborative person. He stole my identity. He stole my soul. But he can't turn me into something that I'm not. In to someone petty who would hurt one just for the sake of hurting them. So I have been struggling with this very much. Struggling with the idea of exposing him in court. But I need him to leave me alone and I need to protect my son. So I can't thank you enough for this video. It gave me so much strength. Because you knew me. He turned all our friends against me and I'm alone. They didn't know me. But today you knew me. And that means more than you can ever know
Thank you awesome video, i have overcome this abuse and I can say I am so grateful for god’s love and truth he spoke over my life. I now know who I am, I now have myself and my soul back intact physically mentally emotionally and spiritually all whole!! Praise god and my soul has learned a lot, endured a lot but not destroyed. I am an overcomer!!
I pray the same for all the followers who have or are experiencing such corrupt darkness over their lives. May god grant them wisdom, patience, love, peace, joy, long suffering in order to be whole-reborn!!
This made so much sense for my situation! I cried hearing all of this because it is partly what I was intuiting and being told by others to do. I just didn't put the pieces together or admit this person is a narcissist. Now I realize the truth from you putting the pieces together and helping me see the truth. I feel sad about it, but I know what I must do now and the clarity is confirming the truth. Thank you!
Hope you got away
I can’t say I’ve fully arrived. I was blocked again because I didn’t conform. This time I also blocked. I’m working hard to prepare if they try to come back. I don’t want to waiver. I have been programmed for years so the messages are strong and the trauma bond. I am strong and each day I listen to you and learn more every day. I must remember and not go back.
They are predictable in being unpredictable. 'A narcissist wants to keep you in the darkness'. Well said! And: 'It's not your circus'' Also well said.
I block, ignore, report, become unpredictable and live my best life. Excellent video. Thank you.
Still working on it day by day
Their accusations are definitely confessions. They will try to mess with your mind by accusing you of doing all the things they've been blatantly doing to cause you to react out of defense. Don't fall for it. They are very aware of what they're doing.
Danish, I just want to thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. You have helped me in so many ways.
I am still trying to keep my emotions in check.
As i am suffering from narsactic person, danish launguage i understand then anybody explain on narsactic behaviour may almighty give right path forever'.
I can't avoid that person as I have to live with her. However best ways to dissociate from the person are
1. Get creatively occupied
2. Minimising interactions
3. Indifference towards whatever good or baf happen to them.
4. Indifference towards whatever good or bad comments
5. Stopped taking comparisons personally.
6. Listening or reading for positive vibes.
Indifference and ignoring is the most hurtful things, shame on you for thinking your doing good.
Pls make a video on narcissist getting their karma/ how does the narcissist collapse. Thank you.
I think they get their karma each and every time they leave their supply. Always looking for something to make them magically happy inside. It must be hell to live inside their mind
cut him off completely. took him off my phone plan, changed all passwords, told him don't text or call me. haven't reached out at all for over a year. he speaks with my son every month and has my son feeling bad for him. its ridiculous. I don't react to any of it and have no plans of ever reaching out. things are very clear to me now.
How did you manage co-parenting. Is your son grown up? I had to flee and go no contact from severe domestic violence and abuse of many years once I saw the light ..he found us some time later and tried to get full custody but it's shared now. Having to deal with on handovers and other child related stuff and looks like he is controlling all over again albeit from a distance. Thanks @Danish for sharing
I stop arguing, and started being nice. But I also stop calling her. She always would me, but that slowed down after I didn’t show affections back. Eventually she went away.
My ex would raise his voice at me quit frequently. It was quit disconcerting. I woke finally that I am a human being and as such is to be treated with dignity. The next time he raised his voice I told him quite imperiously that I will not be spoken to that way. Right away he spoke softly. He knows now that if he raises his voice I will hang up.
🙏🙏👍👍♥️♥️🥰🥰🥰. My narc husband is the worst one.. Ur teachings are great. 🌹🌹
Journaling has been such a smart idea, to record when my narcissistic husband has stretched the truth, and manipulated words to cover over the lies. One instance was all texted out on my phone, our conversation which I wrote out by hand, word for word, which I then studied all the sneaky ways he was trying to deceive me. I've realized what a devious and lying bastard he is. 50 years of it. I journal a lot of our arguments but now I simply walk away and don't respond. The fact that you used the phrase 'mess with your head' is something that HE says all the time. He has said 'the end justifies the means' and 'it's not what IS, but what you make it appear to be'. He is so conniving it makes me sick.
My Narcissistic ex husband was a sucker of money. Even while getting a divorce he demanded money from me. Though my parents and I had spent a large sum for the wedding and setting up of the house !
Yes I gave him the money one last time and freed myself from the abuse and trauma . The whole experience was so dehumanising 😔 I am glad I am out of the marriage
Help me get out of my ooo
I love u
Really
I like u
Well u merry me I m very sexy very romantic 👧👧😚😘😗💋💏👄❤😍🌷🌷
I had to pay my ex husband 20k to go away. I just found out a few days ago after a year he's already remarried to a woman who's got mental illness challenges. I hope she survives.
I am a grandma and my daughter In law is a horrible narc and I am overwhelmed
Best videos on narcissism. Thank you very much for helping many people cope and recover.
Thank you so much Danish, for sharing advice with survivors.
God bless you my brother 🙏🏼
He wanted to go to marriage counseling because I wanted a divorce. He said I am not ready...as if only he owned rights. First night in counseling all he did was tell huge huge lies...he knew I knew he was lying. That's when I knew I would file for divorce.
Everything {all Narc traits} you said happened to me. I discarded them and did and completed the project myself alone.
They had ring fenced me and were handling it as if it was theirs. Their obvious Narc attitude was that I couldn't do it alone myself. {12:41}
Was four of them. I discarded and stone walled them. Took away the benefits i was giving them. Which was unlimited Business class travel domestic and Int. for peanuts. For next 20 yrs !!
Wu Hoo!!
All gone cold.
Danish , as far as I am concerned what you are saying in this video ( be able to maintain my emotional stability and being able to think positively about life and become naturally very good human being at the same time not getting fooled by people was achievable by Rajyoga mediation technique and spirituality. I learnt that bubble technique in Rajyoga ( imagining myself to be in a bubble of white light made of God’s blessings and powers) This meditation technique helped me heal my wounds to a large extent. I also believe that I will have to continue to choose spirituality and Rajyoga meditation all my life to be always happy in life no matter what situation I am in. In other words the external situations don’t affect my emotional stability. In my mind Rajyoga meditation technique made me more intuitive. And I believe spirituality and Rajyoga meditation technique can heal a person from narcissistic abuse or any kind of abuse.
Yes, well said! Lovvvvve meditation. It is Supreme healer. It is learning to stay connected to source
🌟 🙌🌟🙌🌟🙌🌟
I defeated the narcissist in my life, actually the second narcissist in my life, and actually now that I think about it, the first one as well, by refusing to acknowledge that they exist..Full Stop!
Absolutely zero response to their attempts to contact me, or approached me in public. If there was someone standing beside them, that I knew, I would speak to them, and not acknowledge that the narcissist was even standing there. They are dead to me.
Danish your information is the best. Grateful and thank you.
I did get sucked back in - I sat to have a meal w him & asked what’s the point of a meal If you can’t stand me? He said “I spent 14 years with you i wld like to share a meal with you”… I said “why If u don’t want me and have had 2 women already-then we saw a mutual friend as the waiter- he went into the ACT that we are a couple. He said he wanted to work on things n loves me n didn’t contact me for 3 days .. he claims he was soooo busy and sleeping/ yes code word for new woman/ liar- so I reached out & told the friend that we are NOT a couple don’t fall for his act. I felt I needed to speak TRUTH to combat the public LIES - I blocked him and I’m good. I’m glad now that we broke up he’s lied the entire time. I see clearly now I was totally mentally blocked before
I find it extremely difficult to deal with my narc because I have an anxiety disorder, and being alone with him doesn't help. When a family member is present, he doesn't have the guts to show what a monster he is, but when it's just the 2 of us, it's a nightmare. Still trying to figure things out about how to leave. Once and for all. 2 things that hold me back are, I feel scared of what he will do next. And I also feel bad leaving him because he's not doing well mentally himself. He has lost both his parents and has no support group.
A hard lesson to learn is that- you CANNOT save people! A quote that stuck with me when trying to learn this is "A drowning man will pull you under". When trying to rescue/help people and overextend ourselves, i feel it is because we are giving the love we so desperately seek for ourselves.. but in doing so we really are delaying not only the other persons journey and lessons but also our own. Put your precious time into looking within to heal your own inner child wounds or codependency. Ask yourself why you tolerate less than you deserve ❤️ It sounds like you may have unresolved trauma or outdated faulty beliefs/programming from childhood that need to be challenged. Incase nobody has reminded you lately you are enough and you are loved 🌻 Redirect the love you give others so freely- inward through self-love 🧘♀️. Sending love & strength 💕
Hunny Run! there are shelters who will help.
"He has no support group" therefore you have to put up with "nightmare" you are "trauma bonded" and this is part of their scheme to use your "kindness" against you to tolerate "nightmarish life". What about being "kind" to YOU.
In short.. RUN before you die in your nightmare "existence" _not "life" with a Narc.
The longer u stay, the hardest it becomes.
The longer you stay the worse it gets. Make a plan and accept God's help. I had no one...he isolated me. I learned about God's Grace...I accepted God's help...and amazing things happened that helped me. Bless you
the bubble visulization is a wonderful idea and I will definitely be trying that so as to not react and to deflect the bullshit. thank you Danish.
Yes, you have to be smart and resilient to beat the narcissist. I did it. I will not stoop to these mentally ill people. Never cry when he's gaslighting you. You look weak when you cry. Who are they to put me down? I don't give what he wants. He told me I'm not the person to control. I never laughed so hard in my life when he said it. I replied, "I'm glad you know. Don't even try it. We'll exchange names if you can control me. You're wasting your time. Just find another woman to control. I don't care. I don't need a person controlling me. Period.
Very big help here Dr. Bashir thank you I learned so much in a short amount of time.
My situation is different but when I made the decision to leave you can't imagine the Relief I felt off my shoulders. I was glad, happy I left. My situation is a little different but all in all I'm happy it ended.
The best defense is no contact and just leave them alone because they are not going to change and the longer you keep the relationship the more bouts of narcissistic behavior will show itself eventually and the person usually think why did the narcissist throw a temper tantrum for petty issues
You are absolutely right.
Thank you for those videos. They mean so much to so many of us suffering in a world where they seem to be multiplying and escalating in prevalent influence. Im a deeply traumatized sensitive and trusting, empathetic, open, understanding and naive innocent soul always respectfully believing in others being real and telling the truth without ulterior motives or intentions that are manipulative...like a beacon or usefulness and exploitation to those selfish and opportunistic man children drawn to it..and who leave it an ember smoldering and fading to darkest hopelessness... if I'm not trapped for longer durations.
Thanks to your videos, I finally managed to get out of a relationship with a narccistic boyfriend .I deeply appreciate your work.
I deal with this every min of the day, everything you say is so true.
I started a local CLA (Cluttered Anonymous = a 12 Step program) group that unfortunately attracted (besides the usual positive, serious, enthusiastic -to- "recover", kind-hearted supportive people) four Narcissists (two with emotional support small pups) who spent a great deal of time endeavouring to be " one up" on one or another of the other narcissists ( even to the point of "baiting" the most fragile-ego one & sending her racing out yelling into the parking lot). Amazing to me at the time (had to pass out long questionnaires about "Am I a Good Member of the group, ie rating oneself, etc) I am still in contact [why, I ask myself now] with several whose behaviors are Extreme. This particular talk has been the very best so far, for me. I hv a "very expressive face" so endeavouring to "not react" has been an Extreme Challenge for me. Again, thanks for this Very Excellent helpful five concepts & the need to Strengthen one's Inner Man & refuse to react & be their " supply" ( tho' I wl still bring them pantry food, etc).[or, not? hmm]
I've been through all of this and more. The problem isn't that no one else can see it. It's the number of people that can see and saw it before I did won't lift a finger to help me despite knowing that not helping is making things worse and it will come for them next if get taken out.
Who's really worse? The narc or those that refuse to fight back no matter the losses that will come for their inactions?
Everything you say is so spot on. This is rare, at least in my experience. Counselors validated the narcissist and prolonged my pain and suffering and kept me in an abusive marriage. I was so gaslighted by my parents from birth to believe my feelings and thoughts had no worth and were therefore of no use, ever. My parents helped my abusive husband even when I finally ended it. Luckily for me he has remarried. Once I was free I knew I would never go back.
I would just like to heal and maybe find someone who is safe.
I love this guy he can read everything in my head how I feel about those narcissistic. Thank so much for your amazing advice God bless you ❤
My soul is shouting for how much wanted to thank you for making things so clear..for 27 yrs... thank you.. i had defeated him once but the bait again i have forgotten now I'm the same situation again...but since I'm aware i know how to protect myself and fight the emotions and never never allow to fuel him...never again...🙏🙏🙏🙏
I remember defeated him 2016 i moved but 2017 he came to us and i was not aware of the bait so i let him come back to my life only to suffer the dark side of emotions again which i am now in my full awareness ...i have seen and learned from many videos confirming that he is a narcissist...i remember before the psychiatrist told to me to divorce him with the gound of being one but those time I am not so much in full knowledge about this...i was mentally and emotionally thorn..but thank God I am aware now..🥰🥰🥰
I fear i haven't .
Not a damn thing...
He's had the upper hand right along.
But I'm still alive...so that's something. And my relationships with my two sons is good. And I have a good circle of friends. Hey...maybe a couple of good things. Ty for asking
I fell into the trap of believing they had changed . More than once . This is true what your saying 👏 currently i cut them off.
Thank You. This session really hit home with me, and I hope to apply your insight and encouragement in my life, and in my ongoing relationship with my narcissistic husband.
Follow you in Instagram and now CZcams. Thank you beyond words for your posts. Extremely helpful on so many levels.
Thanks for what you have done for me. You are truly blessed with knowledge and compassion and communication skills..I’m so grateful to you.❤😊
Their accusations are their confessions - Spot on! They project all the time. Thank you
Won’t surrender !
Danish, thank you for these messages. You are helping many people heal from these experiences.
Thank you Danish! Another empowering video. Knowledge is power 😊
The only thing that has worked for me to get rid of the narcissist and heal is 100 percent no contact!
Thank you very much. I now understand better how to deal with a narcissistic person
My ex used me and would knock me down verbally. I was always accused as the one in the wrong. It was like a roller coaster. I was his supply while he was searching for new supplies. His rages he would blame me that I was the cause.
Hi ❤❤😍🌷
GREAT VIDEO 💯. Agree …. Thank You 🙏
I went absolutely No Contact with him and All his flying monkeys. I win!!!
You are really good at this. This is spot on and very helpful, therapeutical.
After finding out he was having a double life for over 1,5, I didn't confront him straight away. I wanted to see what theatre he'll come up with. And I was recording everything, printscreens, even recording the conversation. Trust me, once he/she goes against you, you will thank yourself for recording/taking screens.
I love wrestling with pigs. I'm like a razorback boar that way. They always go wee wee wee all the way home.
🤣
I called the cops yesterday....cop was scared..so was the last one...so we're child protection services....so...still haven't shopped in 4 years....he's raken 6 vehicles and my house.....I really love uour presentations...
How did I handle my husband of 28 years, I learned to stay out of his slaps, by being quiet about everything staying close to my creator. When he would go into a rage I would say I was sorry, tell him he was a diamond in the rough. I forgave him always, he only said sorry once and that was for pounding me many times on my back, about25 years of marriage. So when I came out of that situation I did not suffer again for 29 years when I had a lady in my home she had nowhere to go,she stayed 3 months when she left I was walking down the street and narcissus came to mind ,when home the dictionary told the story, a short while later My husbands behaviour was realized , then a sister took her mask off to me!! Everyone has had trouble with her over the years. I appreciate your concise teaching very helpful. I am now considering a man in my present life as being one of these bottom feeders too. I wish I knew what I am doing to attract these poor sorry souls. There must be a way to help them. I am hoping my YHWH will teach me how.
Im still in process of defeating my narc brother. Currently nc 5 months. Nc is only step 1. I am still depressed and have low energy. I am trying my best to rebuild myself.
Wishing you peaceful success 🙌 - don't give up, if you don't, you'll eventually get success! Study study study narcissism and true self love!!
1.I took control of my life.Went behind his back and in secret,built a new life.Became a bright light and stole his show and stole his flying monkeys.They torture him now with all the gossip of “Hell of a girl “ ❤I’m still hurting ,I process it with my safe people.(not the monkeys)Took myself off social media.Made sure he has no access to my finances,family or future.When he is gone and I know he won’t return for the weekend.He will come back to find I have left his life forever without a goodbye or explanation.He will never find me.Had enough yet?
Iv been going back looking back at earlier Videos you made iv gain so much!
Just unreal I thank god I found your channel you are the best !! You are helping me threw this horrible time in my life .. !!! I’m trying to leave mine now it’s a nightmare !! And I have a daughter who he’s trying to brainwash her against me !!
You areso right, on. Thank you formy therapy, today!!!
Dear Danish your videos are so helpful 😢
Thanks!
Very good 😊❤️ information focus in being your best self anger means danger being aware is important be true to your values and morals so you don't forget who you are
Thank you for your advises....yes he already showed the Monster behind his mask..
That's so true ... don't feed in to a narcissist drama....
Harlarious cat ending..😆 Thanks for all.
The end bit with the great music and ur cat was very warming🙏