I believe that Inner Family Theraphy as proposed by Peter Gerlach will be a useful help in helping you overcome thses childhood trauma and to finally find peace. You can check out his youtube channel
The unacceptable thing for me with my narc was the inability or refusal to acknowledge that he hurt my feelings and apologize. I was so delusional and I was convinced he was perfect also. But it didn’t make sense for me to be accountable for my mistakes which he kept a record of when he was not accountable to me.
It's truly refreshing to hear a therapist talk about unforgiveable things that need to be explored. Instead of telling people "they should forgive to feel better" trash.
The forgiving isn't for them, although it does happen afterwards, the forgiveness is from your higher self that your mind requires to admit its own mistake of ignoring the higher you's intuitive warnings it gave you time & time again. Every person's mind hates admitting to fault of any kind because that's their own pride & ego. When you offer your apology from the mind to your heart, the latter can then achieve that process of Self Forgiveness. Once that happens, usually the Forgiveness toward the other happens almost instantaneously because it means all of you has accepted everything (your doings, their doings, and the outcome). Forgiveness sets you free of the mental trauma you were put through at that point & you give zero efferies thereafter about the dramatics & the damage done.
@@mynewlife1911 Forgiveness can be good and proper when it is justified. Just don't throw it around like it's some candy lolly pop, or like some cow fodder hay to chew on to make you "feel" better - that is what is beyond stupid, ignorant and foolish
@@mynewlife1911 I don't believe so, but I am starting to suspect the expression of "Turn the other cheek" can be taken advantage of by people who are damaged and become twisted from their own traumas which gives them the righteous justice to punish their surroundings because of their own broken world within themselves.
Dante’s ‘Inferno’ says the ninth circle of hell, the worst sin, is Treachery: the intentional betrayal of love and trust; it undermines the basis of all relationships; conceding to treachery opens the doorway to all evil.
My mother used to beat me up with a belt, a broom, with her nails, and hand. She never hugged me, always said bad words, talk at the back of everyone, and never admits her fault even when just caught doing it. I tried to tell her that she left trauma in me because of hear beating me, yelling, manipulation, and giving orders, and me hearing from her just negative things. When I told her, she denies everything and plays the victim saying she never even touched me once, maybe a gentle slap. I'm so sick of her and cut all ties. I told her to go to hell and that I'm not her son anymore. She is still acting like a victim saying she never did anything to me, never lied to anyone and that has always been nice to me. She has driven me out of my sanity. She is just full of hypocrisy and lies constantly. I don't care of she cries and plays the victim or if she spits blood on the floor begging she didn't do it. Her manipulation is mind blowing and the mask she wears makes me feel she has pathological problems. I'm truly disgusted by her, but feel better after cutting her out of my life. Although I'm struggling mentally sometimes because of the trauma she left in me, I'm working internally to heal from it. To anyone struggling out there, I hear you. Have no fear to cut ties with whoever is the narcissist in your life, mother, father, partner or any others. They will ruin your life, no matter how hard you try. They are just parasites, have no fear to cut all ties. Life will improve by its own. Prayers to all the victims of narcisists and psychopaths out there. 🙏🏻
I cannot imagine what you had been through, and at the end of the comment you prayed for others. With those scars your heart is still beautiful. Thank God!!! I love you Tomas! I wish you have a happy life.
My mother was the narcissist who hated me. I also went through severe abuse and psychological damage. Between her and her husband's, my siblings, who were happy to do her bidding, my life after my father died was sheer hell. When I was 20, she moved thousands of miles from me when she again remarried. I didn't see her but a few times over the next 30 years, which gave me time to figure her out and to not react to her when she would attempt to make me feel like something was wrong with me. She lost all control over me and never got it back again. My siblings? I cut them all out of my life. I also ended up getting married to a narcissist. Finally, after years of trying to get away from the freak show he is, I got away. I am very aware of who people are now, before any sort of relationship with them, and I won't entertain even a second of my time with a narcissist. I am free.
@@user-wp9hu1om3c While my mother was not physically abusive, she was emotionally abusive to me and my younger sister, focusing all of her attention on her eldest child. Aside from the resentment we naturally felt toward our older sibling, mother actively pitted us children against each other, delighted in the fray and once it reached a crescendo, she would intervene in support of the eldest. A very twisted re-staging of battles she had lost herself as a child, perhaps? I had effectively cut her out of my life by middle school. When I left for college (scholarship - no way she would have paid for my education) I moved my younger sister in with me and we both went no contact. After years of counselling, sister and I tried to speak to our mother about the household dynamics. Her response? 'That never happened'. Over and over, she denied every situation, then went into 'victim mode' crying that we were horrible, ungrateful children that were making up lies about her. Sadly, she went to her grave swearing she was a wonderful mother and that two of her daughters were ungrateful brats. Something she called us on a daily basis.
The most unforgivable thing is the withholding of their love and respect. Also the bread crumbs of love and understanding to keep you in the destructive relationship.Making you believe there is hope.
The biggest sin ? ... Cheating, constantly, while pretending they hate people who cheat. No wait, giving no closure in order to return and destroy you even more. No, sorry, pushing their partner to end their own life when the mask falls. Well, in the end, being a narcissist is the biggest sin. Sins are the only things they have... everything else is fake. They make good actors though:)
Incidentally, my ex was a stage actor. His whole life is an act so it makes sense he could act on stage so well. I feel such a sinking feeling realizing so much and knowing now that my own life for 23 years was based on such crazy levels of betrayal. Who knew that this depth of deceit was even a possibility?
@@jbrown2908 absolutely agree, three years since he left and not yet able to think of another relationship - my task is so much healing work- on so many levels-thankful for all the support offered to me-💖 🪷
The way to get over a narcissist is not to get revenge (although it does feel good). The way to get over a narcissist is to get to a place of indifference. I pray for my narc ex almost every day that somehow she can find the peace, calm, and serenity I have found. I do NOT pity or feel bad for her in any way, that’s how she was able to abuse me; by playing the victim , manipulation and gaslighting. They’re terrible people but also mentally ill. Me carrying around anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting her to die.
This man has such a deep understanding of what it has meant to me to deal with a narcissist/ sociopath for 23 years. Such hardship and loss of so much. Thank you just for your understanding. The isolation coupled with the pain and trial of the final discard and my shattered self was almost too much to bear. 3 years and I’m on the up now . Sunshine ahead.🌺
Emotionally cheating online, then name calling you when you find out….sending naked photos to their ex and defending her for years and you break up because they kick you out and they immediately move onto some hideous person and sleep with them and they try to get back with you.
This narc I left would watch porn a lot he has DVDs. He'd get up in the night saying he was in pain and have to sleep in the recliner. But he'd be in the living room watching porn. When I was having physical therapy for my spinal stenosis he'd drop me off and say he was running errands and I found out he'd go back to the apartment to watch his porn. He raged at me when I called him on it. So many times he did this type of thing. So so happy I left him for good back in march of 2022.
I think the biggest sin is to try to make someone else think they're crazy/gas lighting...if they get their way (which in my case did not happen) - they will get you to loose your sanity/your mind...which is your peace/your tranquility!
I agree 100%. They truly are evil. There's a perfect description of them in 2 Timothy: "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith. But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was." ~ 2 Timothy 3:1-9
This is indicative of the end of the American Empire, the empire of lies that has morphed into a pathological hell hole (DC). The Bible describes of end of days for the USA.
Right on. I'm the silly woman whose house they crept into and won't leave, exploiting my resources and calling me a liar for protesting that I am carrying them financially. Everything Timothy says about them is so true. Right down to their ever learning but unable to grasp the truth, faking godliness but denying its power. Yet they wield power and control over me with their vicious emotional abuse and threats, taking advantage of me with entitlement. "Christian ministers" they call themselves. Their biggest sin: it's all a lie, total abject hypocrisy.
When I found out who it was I fell in love with was not real. The real person unmasked was a beast, ugly and evil. I now live in isolation. I don't date, or go anywhere because I don't trust anyone. The deception that these people display is beyond horrifying and hard to comprehend.
Yes Vickie and they don't go away. Stalking is not normal. It's disgusting,it's degrading. She seriously needs a mental health dr. I'm not breaking my no contact PERIOD.
To eaçh of you, you are worthy, wonderful, uniquely special and lovable human beings. Be kind to yourselves. One day and one task at a time. Healing takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. But there's no rush. I believe in each of you. And I believe you'll get there. ☺
Destruction of victim’s self confidence which leads to second guessing which leads to inability to function which leads to dependence which leads to more abuse.
I appreciated that you pointed to proof that the narcissist knows right from wrong, but that it does not matter to the narcissist. I found this very important. Of all the things that were listed, I found myself, personally, most triggered by the smear campaign. I find that this "sin" contains many factors of the other "sins" and in another perspective adds insult to injury.
@@sickofcrap8992 true in my case too. I have no one. Not even my parents who spk to me. He even sent something nasty to my workplace and I lost my job with a prestigious bank
@@purelight8791 me too. All gone. Every person I ever knew. Smeared. My parents call my claims 'delusional'. Less than no help. They pick and insult and invalidate. And they stole my car so now I can't get anywhere. Just getting food is a major issue....they don't care in the Narcissistic way. Completely do not give a shit if I live or die. Gone no contact w dad. Lo Lo contact with mom. She knows what the narc bf did. She knows what she did. Yet she calls all cheery. And tells me she loves me. Gag
@@purelight8791 I'm so sorry 😞 . My Covert Narcisist Psychopath Sociopath husband deleted every human I ever knew or cared about rather friend, family, distance family, jobs, neighbors, church people and even the God Bless'ed Doctors of every and any kind. Married 29 years, together 30 years of Hell. Torture. Madness. Psycho babble. Physical abuse. Mental and psychological abuse and torture. The list goes on and on and on and on... I'm barely a shadow of my former self and a shell of a Human Being but, now I have more room for the Light of Christ to fill me. Perhaps His Light will seal the holes in my very Soul.😇🙏
Hiding assets, lie after lie after lie, he ruined my daughters 21st he acted like a 12 Yr old he was a total DISGRACE jumping on tables etc. gaslighted me triangulation could keep going but just look at him as pathetic and CERTAINLY NOT A MAN, my family and myself just HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY he out of my life, had 28yrs of ABUSE.
To me, the biggest sin of a narcissist is that they NEVER give a TRUE HEART FELT apology for their abuse; no remorse, never utter a GENUINE " I'm sorry"
The smear campaign... irreversible damage and so much anguish. Sometimes the shock of it, that someone would intentionally be this evil and feel justified in doing it, is immobilizing.
I agree the smear campaign was the worst for me as it resulted in me receiving threats from enablers. It wasnt until I realised that they were just all talk and stopped caring and actually laughing at them that things started to turn around
The silent treatment and stonewalling. They leave you in suspense. You cannot nail down plans. This is just the way they are. Meet other people who are normal and cooperative. Go with them and enjoy normal people, not these moping, difficult losers.
Yes! The silent treatment & stonewalling. He's long dead now, but I had forgotten about this unstablizing behavior. Unfortunately I also have a living relative who has done the same thing for decades. In her case I believe I've been in a sort of denial about this relative. I just didn't want to recognize it, even though I'm familiar with this scary control tactic. My eyes are wide open now. Have cut this person out of my life. Weight off my shoulders. One narcissist is actually dead and the other is virtually "dead to me". Things are better, hope the same is true for you Megs.👍
Physical abuse still creeps into my mind whenever I see such scenes in the pictures, movies and stories...it was horrible and unimaginable that narcissists could kill even their partner and family members out of uncontrollable rage
They totally steal your life, until you graduate from this awful school and kick your teachers out. Oh, they keep trying to come back in. Keep kicking them out. I just heard a line somewhere yesterday re narcs that I liked and would like to share here with Danish's subscribers: Stop looking at your life through the eyes of someone (aka narc or narcs) that hates you.
Like that!! A similar one that's helped me - pretty much the same, but: I am sorry I considered your opinion of me to be more important than my own. I like yours better. Thanks for shsringcw The Danish Gang!
This was the most day-to-day, concise, and accurate description of a narcissist. I stopped expressing happiness in front of him because even the slighest enjoyment of life will have him crush it like he would die of he didn't.
For me, he did them all and the totality of them all together can (keyword “can”) take a loving soul down but somehow we keep surviving. They’re so gross, they’re not worth your time attention or self destruction. Be a Phoenix, be a pearl, be a Diamond. Rise up. Onward and upward.
He systematically destroyed everything that I tried to do and take time out for myself like gardening, playing sudoku and listening to spiritual music.
Your spot on. Thank you I feel so validated. They know what their doing. That’s why it’s so sinister. Their actual devils. I have such disgust for them
Danish, you are so right when you use the word evil to describe them. I told my husband many years ago that I would heal quicker from being beat up than the mental torture he has put me through. I watch him and he totally enjoys causing mental pain. He used the words... 'messing with my head' for years when I would argue my case with him and accuse ME of doing that to him. I've realized that it's HIM that has 'messed with MY head' all these years. Thank you again for a great video.
My experience with narcissists has been that many of them prefer leaving scars that don’t show: Emotional and psychological abuse, as opposed to physical abuse.
@@stevereno They are the WORST because there is no physical proof of what they've done to you and they can instead accuse you of being crazy, mental or that it's you that is the narcissist.
The biggest sin would be threatening to slit my throat on numerous occasions for me doing virtually nothing, and then refusing to ever apologize even after we have a heart-to-heart and I tell them how badly this hurts me. Next time they need you to show up as if nothing happened asking to borrow money excetera
The greatest sin for me is he didn't belief that I was not feeling well and was angry.. He thought I was pretending being sick and did nothing... I stepped in the car and suddenly I was so dizzy. Left me in the car in the heath.. I was so dizzy I could not drive home..
I don't even know where to begin. It's been a living nightmare for decades. My mother in law has put defamatory information that wasn't true on the internet causing me to lose jobs. She physically attacked me outside my home. Berated both me and her son for not going to his sister's birthday party after I just had neck surgery. It goes on and on decades of this reprehensible behavior and the older she gets the worse it is. We are both exhausted 😢
I have had so many... uh (American) therapists who would... kind of shy around being harsh on the narcs in my life, they would suggest compassion. No. No fucking way am I showing these people who contributed to my c-ptsd and drained my funds and time ANY compassion, when the only time they showed me compassion was the skull fuck my emotions and get something from me. The fact you are giving me a heavy stern reality check about how narcs are. Is refreshing. Your videos have helped me realize my feelings and retain my strength. Retain my ego and self esteem and knowing I made the right choice but cutting these people out of my life. (I doubt they have noticed because; they have all moved onto the next thing. Heh.) But the soul wound... man am I there. But these videos help. Thank you!
It's been my experience therapists who advocate compassion for narcissists have not dealt with them personally in their private lives. Potential therapists should be interviewed first to ask if they have. If not, move on to the next one.
@@jbrown2908 Thank you. :) yeah I am not one for revenge, it doesn't feel right and isn't good for my over all energy.. But yeah- like you said; it was always " well have some compassion and try and think what kind of past they had to become a narc. And try and forgive them and work with them n_n~~" Uh, I have c-ptsd. The things I went through didn't make me want to use others for my own personal gain... It has been a good time though, recovering I am still recovering a year or so late. But it is so NICE setting my boundaries
What is wrong with these folks who keep suggesting to have compassion for these monsters?! You see? They just enabled these monsters by telling victims to have mercy for these narcs/borderlines/psychopaths/toxic people. Seems to me they are abusers by proxy or flying monkeys for even suggesting that to victims. I just refuse 😤 to believe that they folks (therapists or other folks) have good intentions at heart. Sympathy to victims of these monsters and not to their enablers of abuse!
My narc and I just finished doing Christmas together and were having a great time when out of nowhere she interjects she was going out to eat dinner with her ex the next day on Christmas Eve, it was over for me right then. It was just a narc test. Had another so she thought rip your heart out narc test five days later but that one didn’t matter as I was already gray rocking her. Now she is love bombing to get me back. This is a vicious circle of doom they create but I know the ending and it’s not happy.
Is there a real reason No Contact won't work for you??. Cause the ending you're envisioning isn't set in stone....I don't think!! No Contact...none!! It's the only way to do this and not let her win!!!! What's up w that?? Do tell!! We might be able to help. 💜🙏🥺
@@sunnyadams5842 I have a personal PHD as a result of 30 years with another narc, she is an empty loveless soul that is incapable of empathy or compassion, they feed off you till they consume you. Most codependents don’t see it coming till they are destroyed and have lost their soul, their being and everything that meant something in their life. That is the goal of a narc. During this last relationship I liked the person I was with and saw the signs and could tell you their every move before it happened. Time to walk. Do your homework and understand what a narc really is, Prof Sam Vaknin and Richard Grannon have some very good videos, check them out particularly the later ones they did together. Best to you
Betray - Pretending they are somebody they arent Altering the nervous system which takes a toll on your health Making you an almost impossible partner in future relationships, because you are a total wreck. Making you the violator.
Yup, to all of it. I sighed the deepest relief when my father died. From what little I’ve learned, I’d say he was a sociopathic, malignant narcissist. After he got done beating us for whatever was appropriate to him, he would laugh himself to tears while doing impressions of the faces, flinching and sounds we made while he was kicking our asses. If he had been buried somewhere, I would have turned his tombstone to gravel with a sledgehammer. I have raised my son in a way to be prepared if he or any of my family shows up. He knows what to do and how to do it. I haven’t spoken to any of them in nearly 20 years for all the reasons you have listed here. My father was truly a monster, the damn cops were scared of him.
Oh my God, and I Do Mean God. Not taking His name in vain!! You poor, poor dear! That is not pity. That's wanting to scoop you up and take you someplace safe and lovely. I know people say they'd rather be hit than messed with mentally, I'll readily admit I've said it myself, but that level of fear....WIOAH!!!! How did you heal or learn to cope or whatever you consider your journey to be?? I'll bet you have some Great tips. Necessity is the mother of invention, and you must have invented some pretty potent tools!! Soooo glad he died. I'm jealous!! I'm still waiting for the release of hearing my cruel narc parents have croaked. Waiting...I won't feel safe, be safe, until they are gone.
@@sunnyadams5842 I would rather be hit. The mental torture has no words sufficient to describe a pain you can not see. People do not understand why some think about suicide to end the pain.
True 100%. I have lost 20 years of my life, my job, my confidence and my family. Alone with minor children. Dont know anyone in this wide world because for everyone I am wrong- thanks to flying monkeys. What's the purpose of life- one may ask? No answers from divine nor from universe. Even karma never beckons such monster and his enablers.
Here's something that came to me the other day: GOOD NEVER DIES. On the other hand evil or bad things mean nothing, they have no value, they are meaningless, they blow away like a puff of smoke.
@@ReRe_642 that helps you to keep going but one cries every day and waits for divine to intervene and HE doesn't....I spared him from police's hand when he beat me brutally, he even manipulated them to believe I was the perpetrator. Took all my finances, assets and family on his side using his charm. Even other women (multiple partners and exes) don't believe me despite going through fraud. Just that it was sexual trap for them and for me its my whole life, my identity
You are absolutely right .im very sad when people call them narcissist and talk like it is a sickness.its evil as you said they are extremly evil people and destroy and kill others ,they are killers and criminals evil people
You exactly described my EX. Vampire, adultery, neglect, and above all CONTROL, says it so well. For 15 years before I left, he couldn't even say 'happy birthday' or mother's day, anniversary, etc. Anything to hurt me. I cannot believe I was married to him for 37 years. God will punish him. Karma. You are just great. Thanks Danish. God bless.
So right. Gods not karma tho. Scripture says it’s appointed unto man Once to die (not over & over) & then The Judgement. That’s where our ex spouses will get their punishment for eternity. However, doesn’t help one bit while living here
@@hawaiigirl8089Logic flaw: he just has to say he believes in god and ask for forgiveness of his sins and god will not punish him. He will go straight to heaven because he is clever enough to say sorry. No justice for you. You know he will do it.
God does not punish people who believe in him and ask for forgiveness. You cant believe in karma and god at the same time. Karma is based on reincarnation and a religion with a totally different deity system. In fact, you are breaking the first commandment.
biggest sin for me was the narc using & abusing the children just to hurt me , turning them against me during divorce only to instantly neglect & ignore them once he won.. absolutely demonic🤯👿
My narcissists have psychopathy or something he is relentless .Seven years and he is still going strong I have had to get police involved to ger some relief of the abuse and protection be safe..Thank you 💜
I told my evil mother that, if she didn't change, she would one day die alone, like a dog. And that is precisely what happened. She could not understand or accept that Life is a game of consequences.
People like My mother Elizabeth, and and my Father David wouldn’t take accountability for nothing even if I confronted them for what they have done. They would never say “I’m sorry Russell” they would never apologize despite me confronting their bad behavior.
Wow this was great. I think the 3 most sinful acts of the 7 are these: 1) Their inability to see herself as a sinner. Basically saying you are sinless! Yikes you are now putting yourself on the level of God. This is definitely NOT good. This will anger Him. 2) their inability to forgive. Again the Bible speaks very clearly and directly about someone not forgiving another. They in turn may not be forgiven by God. Not good. 3) their desire and international act to inflict harm and hurt. That is not only wrong it is in fact mean and evil. Thanks
Everything my narc ex did was intentional & very painful. I didn't understand narcissistic abuse & had never seen it before. He did everything you mentioned in this video. So happy I got out of it! Thank you & many blessings to you!
Of all the sites I have subscribed to since discard and homeless in my 70's just under a year ago, this is the one that touched the very core of my feelings.. gave validity to the deepest wounds. Very powerful. While education allows us to understand and discard the narc ourselves, we also need to address our feelings.. those WE are in control of now. I thank you.
Danish, True Words Spoken Here. My ex Girlfriend is a Toxic Covert Narcissist A very Selfish Insecure Jealous No Empathy Narc and always the poor Victim. Did I mention a Future Faking Pro. Who thinks they have something over you. Because we are Empaths and Kind People and we didn't know what a Creature Narcissist was we know now. And that is why after finding out just who and what they are we Shut there Ass's Down. Go No Contact and Go live a good life away from them and in Peace and Quiet. We live in the Light They are Creatures who live in the Darkness of there own Empty Souls. Its not our Job to save anyone certainly not them. Great Videos as Always.
Hurting intentional, doing everything to destroy you and pretending like they're trying to help. Denying all reality. This is the biggest sin! Get away from them. Some have murdered their so called loved ones because they couldn't get the control they wanted.
I know exactly how you feel and feel the same. I wish I had NEVER MET my ex fiance' narcissist. I am glad that I did not make the huge mistake of marriage with him.
Thank you. I appreciate all your videos but for some reason this one so accurately described and deeply validated how I feel. You used the word "it." I call the ex a "machine." It is hardwired to hoover souls like a computerized vacuum. Despite the machines knowledge of feelings, emotions, ethics, honesty, humanity...it feels NONE. Truly a horrible thing for most people to wrap their head around, that someone sees you as an object. Ironically, it is them that is the object. Though I try to stay away from using religious terminology, I agree that Evil is real and the proof is in the existence of all of us who have faced IT. Especially when you watch the evening news on any given day and at least one story is covering a woman's murder or attempted murder by a partner or ex-partner. Ex: driving your wife and two kids off a cliff... Tired of hearing the same basic story that never really tells the whole truth. Narcissism and Narcissists are Evil. IT. Does. Exist. However, so do we. We are Survivors, Truth Tellers, some one not some thing! Getting honest deep validation and being able to share our experiences and truth in safe spaces like this channel is "divine." I deeply appreciate you Danish. I am grateful for the Survivors that comment on these videos. Thank you for your courage, it gives me courage. 💜💜💜
My wife taken my out daughter, using her as a weapon, not letting me to meet her, talk to her 3 years 2 months. I am working hard , staying strong to set right example for my daughter. I will never give up my life for my daughter!
I still can’t believe I endured this… thank you for a great conversation yesterday. I was checking his social media today and then I heard your voice “ what’s in it for you?” . Bless you and thank you. We’re all very lucky to have you, at our fingertips. When I told you some of his actions/ habits you said “ you were living with evil”! As I was listening to this, I’d swear you were living here and witnessing this mess!! The fact I was used, is painful. I just fell in love with a charmer.
About 5 years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Narcissistic Mental Disorder by the psychiatrist at the nursing home. Never having heard the term, I started researching and learning more. Finally, I realized why she has been so abusive to both my father and me, all my life. It all started to make sense, and so, thank you for putting into words the hell that was my mother. It also explained why I “married” my mother. It took me over 30 years to walk out. Thank you.
Gaslighting. Always putting their needs and wants above others. No regard/respect for others’ time, new families (with marriage/children) etc. Playing the victim . CONSTANT negativity and putting others down/mocking etc. would you believe my NPD mother actually mocks people who wear pink to mark breast cancer awareness…?! Don’t get me started 😂!
It’s still too fresh for me … I discovered his multiple cheating on me back in June and my world of trust juste collapsed… yes evil sick person can keep you years under a very sever control and blame for everything and without any shame they are living a parallel hidden life full of women! Thanks Danish for your content, you make us feel much better, keep going:)
I've experienced everything you explained & you saying 'evil' is the right word for them. My daughter's mil is one. She ill-treated her husband to the extent of losing his life. She stole my daughter by her sweet talk when my daughter was just 17yrs. to use the money by daughter inherited after my hubby expired. Got her son married to my daughter & after she realised the entire property & every materialistic possession was in my name she is torturing her. Telling her she will snatch my grandson from her & teach him to hate his mother. My sil is a perfect example of A MAMA'S BOY. Married my daughter for money through which they could lead a lavish life. She tried a lot to use her nassisism on me but I understood & moved away. I meet my daughter, my sil is always like my daughter's shadow least I show her their sinful behaviour. May God Punish them for their sins is all I pray.
I will make sure my story I had lived with a narcissist comes to light - to help truth to be seen and for others to use as help when needed. Took me to years to gather the courage to speak up. And I will.
The biggest sin for me wasn't just the manipulation but the physical abuse while I was pregnant. He would always say it was my fault he did it and he never wanted to hurt me and qpuld physically hurt me again. I left almost 5 months ago. I will have my baby soon and feel safe now. I also have a protection order. No more drama in my life
Danish, Thanks for explaining this in clear , precise language. Many of us are incapable of understanding how humans can be so absolutely evil. I am, however ,getting the message loud and clear. The weirdest thing is that these individuals blame their victims. This is typical of how evil they are.
You explain who these DEMONS are and what they are capable of perfectly. Thank you from a currently healing soul. The harm they do is so terrifying. I wish i knew who or what I was married to a lot sooner. They harm everyone they are supposed to love and protect.
The biggest sin is the smearing. Destroying your other relationships and making sure other people view you with distain and keep you away or even hurt you intentionally. Isolating you. That's the biggest sin. When it's your family or closest friends this is very bad but also if it is just colleagues or aquaintances you don't know too well, it's because they poisoned the well for you and make it unable for you get to know other people better or develop closer relationships. People you could have a nice and pleasant time with and could have the potential to get closer to but they sabotaged it.
Using me as an object to fulfil her requirements and never intending to consider me as a person was the unforgivable sin in my recent experience. Channels such as yours have given me much valuable understanding of these damaged, evil people with their malicious intent. Thank you for fortifying us with your knowledge and insight.
For many years I knew nothing about narcissism. I just tried to be a good husband and when that failed I was angry. Sometimes I thought reflecting back what I was getting would "show her" but it only fed her. I feel so bad for my kids that they witnessed my floundering to find a "good path" forward, never realizing I was fighting the demon in her, placed by her narcissistic mother. (who I have seen does all these things to her daughter, my wife). Sympathy and empathy for this broken child-woman is the only thing that keeps me with her. Eventually, she told me I was "toxic" to the relationship. I went to CBT therapy, and anger management. Now I don't feed her any anger. Did things improve? No. Every day - She says at some point that I'm fat and smelly. The constant put downs just to trigger a reaction. Every day - She commits emotional incest, dragging my daughters along with her insanity by talking about me and everyone else. No proper boundaries. Every day - I go about my business and try to avoid the worst in her. I can't leave right now, but each day I feel less honest and this is driving me to want to break it off.
Once I told my Partner that I believe he is an evil person and like a demon. The smile on his face told me that he knew it and even worse - he was proud of it.... I'm so blessed I finally could get rid of him...
Made me suffer alone in a room for years and then .... Decided to have an affair with a nurse that he brought here to take care of me... I've had to beg for the basic minimum just like you're saying... I think I've been traumatized. Too badly to do anything about it.. I've been isolated and alone my family is gone everybody hates me here I don't have a single friend in my life not here... I've made some beautiful friends online but everybody here has been turned against me
The biggest sin: a mother hurting her own child on purpose and getting pleasure from this.
Experienced it over 20 years. No contact since 14 years.
@@simonpegg1196 Congrats! I've been no contact for 1 year, a decision I should have taken much earlier.
I agree, but when said child is attacking mother because she can, best call police ? Luckily she’s 18 and I have backing now
True! Narc mother is incredibly painful and devastating
The greatest sin: they also can cause the death of animals and people (many suicide for them).
Biggest sin was smiling when they realised I was hurting, they looked like they had just won a prize to see my heartbreak. Ice cold
It takes you years, if not a lifetime, to feel safe even if the narcissist didn’t beat you up - but refused to protect you.
I believe that Inner Family Theraphy as proposed by Peter Gerlach will be a useful help in helping you overcome thses childhood trauma and to finally find peace. You can check out his youtube channel
Most of all refused to protect you from themselves.
Yes absolutely! My ex husband would create situations & then step away &
Let me face whatever slander he did
The unacceptable thing for me with my narc was the inability or refusal to acknowledge that he hurt my feelings and apologize. I was so delusional and I was convinced he was perfect also. But it didn’t make sense for me to be accountable for my mistakes which he kept a record of when he was not accountable to me.
Exactly 😢
Biggest sin: making their victims feel like the abuser thru gaslighting and projection
It's truly refreshing to hear a therapist talk about unforgiveable things that need to be explored. Instead of telling people "they should forgive to feel better" trash.
The forgiving isn't for them, although it does happen afterwards, the forgiveness is from your higher self that your mind requires to admit its own mistake of ignoring the higher you's intuitive warnings it gave you time & time again. Every person's mind hates admitting to fault of any kind because that's their own pride & ego. When you offer your apology from the mind to your heart, the latter can then achieve that process of Self Forgiveness. Once that happens, usually the Forgiveness toward the other happens almost instantaneously because it means all of you has accepted everything (your doings, their doings, and the outcome).
Forgiveness sets you free of the mental trauma you were put through at that point & you give zero efferies thereafter about the dramatics & the damage done.
Absolutely!!! A great amount of healing has to take place before forgiveness can ever happen!
Is it possible a narc came up with the word forgiveness
@@mynewlife1911 Forgiveness can be good and proper when it is justified. Just don't throw it around like it's some candy lolly pop, or like some cow fodder hay to chew on to make you "feel" better - that is what is beyond stupid, ignorant and foolish
@@mynewlife1911 I don't believe so, but I am starting to suspect the expression of "Turn the other cheek" can be taken advantage of by people who are damaged and become twisted from their own traumas which gives them the righteous justice to punish their surroundings because of their own broken world within themselves.
Dante’s ‘Inferno’ says the ninth circle of hell, the worst sin, is Treachery: the intentional betrayal of love and trust; it undermines the basis of all relationships; conceding to treachery opens the doorway to all evil.
Right on! The biggest sin is that they totally destroy your life in every aspect and they do not feel any remorse for doing it.
I went from mother to a husband and now my son
So evil.
The biggest sin is they blame everything on you and spread bad rumors to make everybody against you like it's your fault you're the one who did it.
So true
And verywell know it is they who have done wrong and also intentionally
I 💯 agree. Narcissist people are evil, vicious and wicked.
They only hang out with you when they're getting something they want, they'll never just come to hang out because they like your company.
My mother used to beat me up with a belt, a broom, with her nails, and hand. She never hugged me, always said bad words, talk at the back of everyone, and never admits her fault even when just caught doing it. I tried to tell her that she left trauma in me because of hear beating me, yelling, manipulation, and giving orders, and me hearing from her just negative things. When I told her, she denies everything and plays the victim saying she never even touched me once, maybe a gentle slap. I'm so sick of her and cut all ties. I told her to go to hell and that I'm not her son anymore. She is still acting like a victim saying she never did anything to me, never lied to anyone and that has always been nice to me. She has driven me out of my sanity. She is just full of hypocrisy and lies constantly.
I don't care of she cries and plays the victim or if she spits blood on the floor begging she didn't do it. Her manipulation is mind blowing and the mask she wears makes me feel she has pathological problems. I'm truly disgusted by her, but feel better after cutting her out of my life. Although I'm struggling mentally sometimes because of the trauma she left in me, I'm working internally to heal from it.
To anyone struggling out there, I hear you. Have no fear to cut ties with whoever is the narcissist in your life, mother, father, partner or any others. They will ruin your life, no matter how hard you try. They are just parasites, have no fear to cut all ties. Life will improve by its own.
Prayers to all the victims of narcisists and psychopaths out there. 🙏🏻
I am sorry you had to go through that trauma💔God loves you🤲sending prayers your way. I feel your pain💔
I cannot imagine what you had been through, and at the end of the comment you prayed for others. With those scars your heart is still beautiful. Thank God!!! I love you Tomas! I wish you have a happy life.
I too had that..can we talk privately?...my mother just passed..ide like to speak to you ?
My mother was the narcissist who hated me. I also went through severe abuse and psychological damage. Between her and her husband's, my siblings, who were happy to do her bidding, my life after my father died was sheer hell. When I was 20, she moved thousands of miles from me when she again remarried. I didn't see her but a few times over the next 30 years, which gave me time to figure her out and to not react to her when she would attempt to make me feel like something was wrong with me. She lost all control over me and never got it back again. My siblings? I cut them all out of my life. I also ended up getting married to a narcissist. Finally, after years of trying to get away from the freak show he is, I got away. I am very aware of who people are now, before any sort of relationship with them, and I won't entertain even a second of my time with a narcissist. I am free.
@@user-wp9hu1om3c While my mother was not physically abusive, she was emotionally abusive to me and my younger sister, focusing all of her attention on her eldest child. Aside from the resentment we naturally felt toward our older sibling, mother actively pitted us children against each other, delighted in the fray and once it reached a crescendo, she would intervene in support of the eldest. A very twisted re-staging of battles she had lost herself as a child, perhaps? I had effectively cut her out of my life by middle school.
When I left for college (scholarship - no way she would have paid for my education) I moved my younger sister in with me and we both went no contact. After years of counselling, sister and I tried to speak to our mother about the household dynamics. Her response? 'That never happened'. Over and over, she denied every situation, then went into 'victim mode' crying that we were horrible, ungrateful children that were making up lies about her.
Sadly, she went to her grave swearing she was a wonderful mother and that two of her daughters were ungrateful brats. Something she called us on a daily basis.
The most unforgivable thing is the withholding of their love and respect. Also the bread crumbs of love and understanding to keep you in the destructive relationship.Making you believe there is hope.
I 100% agree
Smear campaigning is the worse thing a mother can do to her daughter. I could not come out of trauma I am 69 now
Worst of their sin - alienating children against us with their lies. Still trying to fathom
The biggest sin for me has been being told that they "love me". But they don't.
The biggest sin ? ... Cheating, constantly, while pretending they hate people who cheat. No wait, giving no closure in order to return and destroy you even more. No, sorry, pushing their partner to end their own life when the mask falls. Well, in the end, being a narcissist is the biggest sin. Sins are the only things they have... everything else is fake. They make good actors though:)
Incidentally, my ex was a stage actor.
His whole life is an act so it makes sense he could act on stage so well.
I feel such a sinking feeling realizing so much and knowing now that my own life for 23 years was based on such crazy levels of betrayal. Who knew that this depth of deceit was even a possibility?
Spot on..u can't get any more on point.
@@jbrown2908 thank you, I hope you’re right🌺
@@jbrown2908 absolutely agree, three years since he left and not yet able to think of another relationship - my task is so much healing work- on so many levels-thankful for all the support offered to me-💖
🪷
Amen, Cedric! 🤣👏
When you confront a narcissist about anything, its like 'mental gymnastics'. Its so draining. They are out to destroy your 'light'.🌟
The way to get over a narcissist is not to get revenge (although it does feel good). The way to get over a narcissist is to get to a place of indifference. I pray for my narc ex almost every day that somehow she can find the peace, calm, and serenity I have found. I do NOT pity or feel bad for her in any way, that’s how she was able to abuse me; by playing the victim , manipulation and gaslighting. They’re terrible people but also mentally ill. Me carrying around anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting her to die.
The illusion that it was real is the number 1 sin for me.
weaponizing children is number 1 in my book.... and ignoring the narcissist only heightens the situation...
This man has such a deep understanding of what it has meant to me to deal with a narcissist/ sociopath for 23 years. Such hardship and loss of so much.
Thank you just for your understanding. The isolation coupled with the pain and trial of the final discard and my shattered self was almost too much to bear. 3 years and I’m on the up now . Sunshine ahead.🌺
Emotionally cheating online, then name calling you when you find out….sending naked photos to their ex and defending her for years and you break up because they kick you out and they immediately move onto some hideous person and sleep with them and they try to get back with you.
This narc I left would watch porn a lot he has DVDs. He'd get up in the night saying he was in pain and have to sleep in the recliner. But he'd be in the living room watching porn. When I was having physical therapy for my spinal stenosis he'd drop me off and say he was running errands and I found out he'd go back to the apartment to watch his porn. He raged at me when I called him on it. So many times he did this type of thing. So so happy I left him for good back in march of 2022.
Bringing the worst out of me...reactive abuse is its own kind of truma....
I feel your pain.
I think the biggest sin is to try to make someone else think they're crazy/gas lighting...if they get their way (which in my case did not happen) - they will get you to loose your sanity/your mind...which is your peace/your tranquility!
I agree 100%. They truly are evil. There's a perfect description of them in 2 Timothy:
"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.
But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was." ~ 2 Timothy 3:1-9
This is indicative of the end of the American Empire, the empire of lies that has morphed into a pathological hell hole (DC). The Bible describes of end of days for the USA.
So true,the word of God says it all.. thank you Danish for bringing this out..
Right on. I'm the silly woman whose house they crept into and won't leave, exploiting my resources and calling me a liar for protesting that I am carrying them financially. Everything Timothy says about them is so true. Right down to their ever learning but unable to grasp the truth, faking godliness but denying its power. Yet they wield power and control over me with their vicious emotional abuse and threats, taking advantage of me with entitlement. "Christian ministers" they call themselves. Their biggest sin: it's all a lie, total abject hypocrisy.
EVIL is the only word suitable for such people.
Betrayal and broken heart is the unforgivable sin. Plus all the other evil manipulation.💔
You’re not alone 😘
When I found out who it was I fell in love with was not real. The real person unmasked was a beast, ugly and evil. I now live in isolation. I don't date, or go anywhere because I don't trust anyone. The deception that these people display is beyond horrifying and hard to comprehend.
Yes Vickie and they don't go away. Stalking is not normal. It's disgusting,it's degrading. She seriously needs a mental health dr. I'm not breaking my no contact PERIOD.
Yep. I feel you.
I'm in that same realization as well,I was brutally discarded by my husband of 12 years and I want nothing to do with anyone
To eaçh of you, you are worthy, wonderful, uniquely special and lovable human beings. Be kind to yourselves. One day and one task at a time. Healing takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. But there's no rush. I believe in each of you. And I believe you'll get there. ☺
@@mzungu4770 ty so much for this encouraging words. This is very rough
Destruction of victim’s self confidence which leads to second guessing which leads to inability to function which leads to dependence which leads to more abuse.
I appreciated that you pointed to proof that the narcissist knows right from wrong, but that it does not matter to the narcissist. I found this very important. Of all the things that were listed, I found myself, personally, most triggered by the smear campaign. I find that this "sin" contains many factors of the other "sins" and in another perspective adds insult to injury.
Their whole family hates me, because of the lies. My neighbors that I have known for 50 years, believe them and are no longer my friends. 50 years!
@@sickofcrap8992 Yes, it's truly stunning as well as eye-opening. Severely depressing too. Speedy healing wishes to you!!
@@sickofcrap8992 true in my case too. I have no one. Not even my parents who spk to me. He even sent something nasty to my workplace and I lost my job with a prestigious bank
@@purelight8791 me too. All gone. Every person I ever knew. Smeared. My parents call my claims 'delusional'. Less than no help. They pick and insult and invalidate. And they stole my car so now I can't get anywhere. Just getting food is a major issue....they don't care in the Narcissistic way. Completely do not give a shit if I live or die. Gone no contact w dad. Lo Lo contact with mom. She knows what the narc bf did. She knows what she did. Yet she calls all cheery. And tells me she loves me. Gag
@@purelight8791 I'm so sorry 😞 . My Covert Narcisist Psychopath Sociopath husband deleted every human I ever knew or cared about rather friend, family, distance family, jobs, neighbors, church people and even the God Bless'ed Doctors of every and any kind. Married 29 years, together 30 years of Hell. Torture. Madness. Psycho babble. Physical abuse. Mental and psychological abuse and torture. The list goes on and on and on and on...
I'm barely a shadow of my former self and a shell of a Human Being but, now I have more room for the Light of Christ to fill me.
Perhaps His Light will seal the holes in my very Soul.😇🙏
Hiding assets, lie after lie after lie, he ruined my daughters 21st he acted like a 12 Yr old he was a total DISGRACE jumping on tables etc. gaslighted me triangulation could keep going but just look at him as pathetic and CERTAINLY NOT A MAN, my family and myself just HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY he out of my life, had 28yrs of ABUSE.
Amen Danish! To the point of NEVER WANTING TO DATE/MARRY!
To me, the biggest sin of a narcissist is that they NEVER give a TRUE HEART FELT apology for their abuse; no remorse, never utter a GENUINE " I'm sorry"
What is the point of an apology from a demon especially if it caused devastation? How is an apology going to change all the chaos the narc brought?
Abuse of forgiveness. How messed up does someone have to be to weaponize forgiveness?
Abandoning themselves, faking it, and deciding others are their possessions.
Re faking it: mom’s 3,4,5 visits to Emergency Room just to get attention/get me to break no contact….
The smear campaign... irreversible damage and so much anguish. Sometimes the shock of it, that someone would intentionally be this evil and feel justified in doing it, is immobilizing.
I agree the smear campaign was the worst for me as it resulted in me receiving threats from enablers. It wasnt until I realised that they were just all talk and stopped caring and actually laughing at them that things started to turn around
@@ellenclarke8346 good girl!!
The silent treatment and stonewalling. They leave you in suspense. You cannot nail down plans. This is just the way they are. Meet other people who are normal and cooperative. Go with them and enjoy normal people, not these moping, difficult losers.
Yes! The silent treatment & stonewalling. He's long dead now, but I had forgotten about this unstablizing behavior. Unfortunately I also have a living relative who has done the same thing for decades. In her case I believe I've been in a sort of denial about this relative. I just didn't want to recognize it, even though I'm familiar with this scary control tactic.
My eyes are wide open now. Have cut this person out of my life.
Weight off my shoulders.
One narcissist is actually dead and the other is virtually "dead to me". Things are better, hope the same is true for you Megs.👍
so true of the stonewalling and silent treatment 😒
Physical abuse still creeps into my mind whenever I see such scenes in the pictures, movies and stories...it was horrible and unimaginable that narcissists could kill even their partner and family members out of uncontrollable rage
A narcissistic mother undermined any confidence I might had and made me fearful of everything. I felt anxious and afraid all the time.
He admitted he Wants to hurt me and make me feel crazy. Starting no contact, again. God give me strength.
They totally steal your life, until you graduate from this awful school and kick your teachers out.
Oh, they keep trying to come back in. Keep kicking them out.
I just heard a line somewhere yesterday re narcs that I liked and would like to share here with Danish's subscribers: Stop looking at your life through the eyes of someone (aka narc or narcs) that hates you.
Thats nice, Brinta. Yep, they're supposed to be your lovers, your protectors and they hate you and envy you instead.
that line has to be the bruh moment of the century ;_; oh man...
Like that!!
A similar one that's helped me - pretty much the same, but:
I am sorry I considered your opinion of me to be more important than my own.
I like yours better. Thanks for shsringcw The Danish Gang!
She's not welcome back in any way.
Betrayal…. Destroys trusts shows no respect for their partner, their family or friends.
Lack of communication! They don't value you. So there is NEVER "working together". It's what they want or the emotional highway
I guess you give in because you think that they might come around... Change, care, they don't
Destroyed my relationships with my best friends...unforgivable
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise.... If they were your best friends then they would not have went against you.
Serial cheater & porn addiction causes a plethora of insecurities, anxiety, rejection, ruins trust etc
Not to mention their sick creepy stalking behavior. Nothing about stalking is normal. These creeps need to keep being exposed across the world.
Gaslighting has got to be the worst thing in the world 😔 I lost 3 stone in weight over 3 months because of this 😢
This was the most day-to-day, concise, and accurate description of a narcissist. I stopped expressing happiness in front of him because even the slighest enjoyment of life will have him crush it like he would die of he didn't.
For me, he did them all and the totality of them all together can (keyword “can”) take a loving soul down but somehow we keep surviving. They’re so gross, they’re not worth your time attention or self destruction. Be a Phoenix, be a pearl, be a Diamond. Rise up. Onward and upward.
He systematically destroyed everything that I tried to do and take time out for myself like gardening, playing sudoku and listening to spiritual music.
Your spot on. Thank you I feel so validated. They know what their doing. That’s why it’s so sinister. Their actual devils. I have such disgust for them
Making you turn your life upside down for them but still abuse you and drop you afterwards.
Digust is most appropriate word
Danish, you are so right when you use the word evil to describe them. I told my husband many years ago that I would heal quicker from being beat up than the mental torture he has put me through. I watch him and he totally enjoys causing mental pain. He used the words... 'messing with my head' for years when I would argue my case with him and accuse ME of doing that to him. I've realized that it's HIM that has 'messed with MY head' all these years. Thank you again for a great video.
Sounds EXACTLY like me & my Narc Husband 🙄
My experience with narcissists has been that many of them prefer leaving scars that don’t show: Emotional and psychological abuse, as opposed to physical abuse.
@@stevereno They are the WORST because there is no physical proof of what they've done to you and they can instead accuse you of being crazy, mental or that it's you that is the narcissist.
@@stevereno Exactly
@@lindamoore9729 Yes 💯%
The biggest sin would be threatening to slit my throat on numerous occasions for me doing virtually nothing, and then refusing to ever apologize even after we have a heart-to-heart and I tell them how badly this hurts me. Next time they need you to show up as if nothing happened asking to borrow money excetera
The greatest sin for me is he didn't belief that I was not feeling well and was angry..
He thought I was pretending being sick and did nothing...
I stepped in the car and suddenly I was so dizzy.
Left me in the car in the heath.. I was so dizzy I could not drive home..
Total betrayal out of the blue…. Shock. Lying to my face for years as I was so trusting devoted and loyal.
I don't even know where to begin. It's been a living nightmare for decades. My mother in law has put defamatory information that wasn't true on the internet causing me to lose jobs. She physically attacked me outside my home. Berated both me and her son for not going to his sister's birthday party after I just had neck surgery. It goes on and on decades of this reprehensible behavior and the older she gets the worse it is. We are both exhausted 😢
One between the eyes!
Sending you some love hun. I am suffering terribly and I understand. Keep strong. ❤️🩹
@@user-ly7en7bg1j Thank you 💕💕💕
I have always been told that I am playing games. It's them! Every. Time. It's them.
@@sickofcrap8992 Same here, she blames one of us for her misery and acts victimized. I feel your pain. Be safe.
I have had so many... uh (American) therapists who would... kind of shy around being harsh on the narcs in my life, they would suggest compassion. No. No fucking way am I showing these people who contributed to my c-ptsd and drained my funds and time ANY compassion, when the only time they showed me compassion was the skull fuck my emotions and get something from me. The fact you are giving me a heavy stern reality check about how narcs are. Is refreshing. Your videos have helped me realize my feelings and retain my strength. Retain my ego and self esteem and knowing I made the right choice but cutting these people out of my life. (I doubt they have noticed because; they have all moved onto the next thing. Heh.) But the soul wound... man am I there. But these videos help. Thank you!
It's been my experience therapists who advocate compassion for narcissists have not dealt with them personally in their private lives. Potential therapists should be interviewed first to ask if they have. If not, move on to the next one.
@@jbrown2908 Thank you. :)
yeah I am not one for revenge, it doesn't feel right and isn't good for my over all energy.. But yeah- like you said; it was always " well have some compassion and try and think what kind of past they had to become a narc. And try and forgive them and work with them n_n~~" Uh, I have c-ptsd. The things I went through didn't make me want to use others for my own personal gain... It has been a good time though, recovering I am still recovering a year or so late. But it is so NICE setting my boundaries
What is wrong with these folks who keep suggesting to have compassion for these monsters?! You see? They just enabled these monsters by telling victims to have mercy for these narcs/borderlines/psychopaths/toxic people. Seems to me they are abusers by proxy or flying monkeys for even suggesting that to victims. I just refuse 😤 to believe that they folks (therapists or other folks) have good intentions at heart. Sympathy to victims of these monsters and not to their enablers of abuse!
My narc and I just finished doing Christmas together and were having a great time when out of nowhere she interjects she was going out to eat dinner with her ex the next day on Christmas Eve, it was over for me right then. It was just a narc test. Had another so she thought rip your heart out narc test five days later but that one didn’t matter as I was already gray rocking her. Now she is love bombing to get me back. This is a vicious circle of doom they create but I know the ending and it’s not happy.
Stay strong! I wish I had had some support when I could have left 35 years ago.
Is there a real reason No Contact won't work for you??. Cause the ending you're envisioning isn't set in stone....I don't think!! No Contact...none!! It's the only way to do this and not let her win!!!! What's up w that?? Do tell!! We might be able to help. 💜🙏🥺
@@sunnyadams5842 I have a personal PHD as a result of 30 years with another narc, she is an empty loveless soul that is incapable of empathy or compassion, they feed off you till they consume you. Most codependents don’t see it coming till they are destroyed and have lost their soul, their being and everything that meant something in their life. That is the goal of a narc. During this last relationship I liked the person I was with and saw the signs and could tell you their every move before it happened. Time to walk. Do your homework and understand what a narc really is, Prof Sam Vaknin and Richard Grannon have some very good videos, check them out particularly the later ones they did together. Best to you
Betray - Pretending they are somebody they arent
Altering the nervous system which takes a toll on your health
Making you an almost impossible partner in future relationships, because you are a total wreck.
Making you the violator.
Yup, to all of it. I sighed the deepest relief when my father died. From what little I’ve learned, I’d say he was a sociopathic, malignant narcissist. After he got done beating us for whatever was appropriate to him, he would laugh himself to tears while doing impressions of the faces, flinching and sounds we made while he was kicking our asses. If he had been buried somewhere, I would have turned his tombstone to gravel with a sledgehammer. I have raised my son in a way to be prepared if he or any of my family shows up. He knows what to do and how to do it. I haven’t spoken to any of them in nearly 20 years for all the reasons you have listed here. My father was truly a monster, the damn cops were scared of him.
I am so sorry. I dealt with emotional manipulation but not physical abuse. ❤ so sorry.
Oh my God, and I Do Mean God. Not taking His name in vain!! You poor, poor dear! That is not pity. That's wanting to scoop you up and take you someplace safe and lovely.
I know people say they'd rather be hit than messed with mentally, I'll readily admit I've said it myself, but that level of fear....WIOAH!!!! How did you heal or learn to cope or whatever you consider your journey to be?? I'll bet you have some Great tips. Necessity is the mother of invention, and you must have invented some pretty potent tools!!
Soooo glad he died. I'm jealous!!
I'm still waiting for the release of hearing my cruel narc parents have croaked. Waiting...I won't feel safe, be safe, until they are gone.
@@katiedid9601 thank you
Sadists suck!
@@sunnyadams5842 I would rather be hit. The mental torture has no words sufficient to describe a pain you can not see. People do not understand why some think about suicide to end the pain.
True 100%. I have lost 20 years of my life, my job, my confidence and my family. Alone with minor children. Dont know anyone in this wide world because for everyone I am wrong- thanks to flying monkeys. What's the purpose of life- one may ask? No answers from divine nor from universe. Even karma never beckons such monster and his enablers.
May God look down on you with favor and bless you with peace and anything else you need to move forward.
@@sickofcrap8992 thankyou
Karma comes for everyone. It is just a matter of time. Believe that.
Here's something that came to me the other day: GOOD NEVER DIES. On the other hand evil or bad things mean nothing, they have no value, they are meaningless, they blow away like a puff of smoke.
@@ReRe_642 that helps you to keep going but one cries every day and waits for divine to intervene and HE doesn't....I spared him from police's hand when he beat me brutally, he even manipulated them to believe I was the perpetrator. Took all my finances, assets and family on his side using his charm. Even other women (multiple partners and exes) don't believe me despite going through fraud. Just that it was sexual trap for them and for me its my whole life, my identity
You are absolutely right .im very sad when people call them narcissist and talk like it is a sickness.its evil as you said they are extremly evil people and destroy and kill others ,they are killers and criminals evil people
Lying continually,I knew something wasn't right, but couldn't work it out,until I saw the light.
He is pure evil. He does all 7 sins. He is a pathological liar. He keeps trying to destroy me.
You exactly described my EX. Vampire, adultery, neglect, and above all CONTROL, says it so well. For 15 years before I left, he couldn't even say 'happy birthday' or mother's day, anniversary, etc. Anything to hurt me. I cannot believe I was married to him for 37 years. God will punish him. Karma. You are just great. Thanks Danish. God bless.
I can relate to everything you stated and I too believe in Karma.
why do you stay this long in such abusive marriage
So right. Gods not karma tho. Scripture says it’s appointed unto man Once to die (not over & over) & then The Judgement. That’s where our ex spouses will get their punishment for eternity. However, doesn’t help one bit while living here
@@hawaiigirl8089Logic flaw: he just has to say he believes in god and ask for forgiveness of his sins and god will not punish him. He will go straight to heaven because he is clever enough to say sorry. No justice for you. You know he will do it.
God does not punish people who believe in him and ask for forgiveness. You cant believe in karma and god at the same time. Karma is based on reincarnation and a religion with a totally different deity system. In fact, you are breaking the first commandment.
biggest sin for me was the narc using & abusing the children just to hurt me , turning them against me during divorce only to instantly neglect & ignore them once he won.. absolutely demonic🤯👿
Happened to me with four beautiful sons I basically raised by myself as he was a workaholic absent father.
This one is hard to hear...the truth hurts sometimes.
Go no contact, hard core. No contact whatsoever. It's the only way out.
My narcissists have psychopathy or something he is relentless .Seven years and he is still going strong I have had to get police involved to ger some relief of the abuse and protection be safe..Thank you 💜
Secretiveness! Hiding assets!
I told my evil mother that, if she didn't change, she would one day die alone, like a dog. And that is precisely what happened. She could not understand or accept that Life is a game of consequences.
People like My mother Elizabeth, and and my Father David wouldn’t take accountability for nothing even if I confronted them for what they have done. They would never say “I’m sorry Russell” they would never apologize despite me confronting their bad behavior.
So painful to the soul💔suffered all of it 💔💔💔May Allah help and guide us on the right path Aameen thumma Aameen 🤲
Wow this was great. I think the 3 most sinful acts of the 7 are these:
1) Their inability to see herself as a sinner. Basically saying you are sinless! Yikes you are now putting yourself on the level of God. This is definitely NOT good. This will anger Him.
2) their inability to forgive. Again the Bible speaks very clearly and directly about someone not forgiving another. They in turn may not be forgiven by God. Not good.
3) their desire and international act to inflict harm and hurt. That is not only wrong it is in fact mean and evil.
Thanks
Everything my narc ex did was intentional & very painful. I didn't understand narcissistic abuse & had never seen it before. He did everything you mentioned in this video. So happy I got out of it! Thank you & many blessings to you!
Of all the sites I have subscribed to since discard and homeless in my 70's just under a year ago, this is the one that touched the very core of my feelings.. gave validity to the deepest wounds. Very powerful. While education allows us to understand and discard the narc ourselves, we also need to address our feelings.. those WE are in control of now.
I thank you.
The most unforgiving part : they enjoy hurting your mind , your joy and your freedom to be yourself
Danish,
True Words Spoken Here. My ex Girlfriend is a Toxic Covert Narcissist A very Selfish Insecure Jealous No Empathy Narc and always the poor Victim. Did I mention a Future Faking Pro. Who thinks they have something over you. Because we are Empaths and Kind People and we didn't know what a Creature Narcissist was we know now.
And that is why after finding out just who and what they are we Shut there Ass's Down. Go No Contact and Go live a good life away from them and in Peace and Quiet. We live in the Light They are Creatures who live in the Darkness of there own Empty Souls. Its not our Job to save anyone certainly not them.
Great Videos as Always.
@@jbrown2908 Agreed 1000%
@@jbrown2908 Agreed 1000%
Hurting intentional, doing everything to destroy you and pretending like they're trying to help. Denying all reality. This is the biggest sin! Get away from them. Some have murdered their so called loved ones because they couldn't get the control they wanted.
Having had this man in my life many years ago,its still fresh in my mind,and as you say effected me very badly,and regret ever lying eyes on him.
I know exactly how you feel and feel the same. I wish I had NEVER MET my ex fiance' narcissist. I am glad that I did not make the huge mistake of marriage with him.
Danish you are doing an AWESOME job! Thank you for staying in the fight against narcissism, and TOXIC people!
Thank you. I appreciate all your videos but for some reason this one so accurately described and deeply validated how I feel. You used the word "it." I call the ex a "machine." It is hardwired to hoover souls like a computerized vacuum. Despite the machines knowledge of feelings, emotions, ethics, honesty, humanity...it feels NONE. Truly a horrible thing for most people to wrap their head around, that someone sees you as an object. Ironically, it is them that is the object. Though I try to stay away from using religious terminology, I agree that Evil is real and the proof is in the existence of all of us who have faced IT. Especially when you watch the evening news on any given day and at least one story is covering a woman's murder or attempted murder by a partner or ex-partner. Ex: driving your wife and two kids off a cliff... Tired of hearing the same basic story that never really tells the whole truth. Narcissism and Narcissists are Evil. IT. Does. Exist. However, so do we. We are Survivors, Truth Tellers, some one not some thing! Getting honest deep validation and being able to share our experiences and truth in safe spaces like this channel is "divine." I deeply appreciate you Danish. I am grateful for the Survivors that comment on these videos. Thank you for your courage, it gives me courage. 💜💜💜
Well said! Narcissist are the personification of EVIL.
My wife taken my out daughter, using her as a weapon, not letting me to meet her, talk to her 3 years 2 months. I am working hard , staying strong to set right example for my daughter. I will never give up my life for my daughter!
I still can’t believe I endured this… thank you for a great conversation yesterday.
I was checking his social media today and then I heard your voice “ what’s in it for you?” . Bless you and thank you. We’re all very lucky to have you, at our fingertips.
When I told you some of his actions/ habits you said “ you were living with evil”!
As I was listening to this, I’d swear you were living here and witnessing this mess!! The fact I was used, is painful. I just fell in love with a charmer.
About 5 years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Narcissistic Mental Disorder by the psychiatrist at the nursing home. Never having heard the term, I started researching and learning more. Finally, I realized why she has been so abusive to both my father and me, all my life. It all started to make sense, and so, thank you for putting into words the hell that was my mother. It also explained why I “married” my mother. It took me over 30 years to walk out. Thank you.
Gaslighting. Always putting their needs and wants above others. No regard/respect for others’ time, new families (with marriage/children) etc. Playing the victim . CONSTANT negativity and putting others down/mocking etc. would you believe my NPD mother actually mocks people who wear pink to mark breast cancer awareness…?! Don’t get me started 😂!
It’s still too fresh for me … I discovered his multiple cheating on me back in June and my world of trust juste collapsed… yes evil sick person can keep you years under a very sever control and blame for everything and without any shame they are living a parallel hidden life full of women! Thanks Danish for your content, you make us feel much better, keep going:)
Making it impossible for me to have a pet cat 😢
Constantly fearing physical abuse
Convincing our children I’m mentally ill
Serial cheating
I've experienced everything you explained & you saying 'evil' is the right word for them. My daughter's mil is one. She ill-treated her husband to the extent of losing his life. She stole my daughter by her sweet talk when my daughter was just 17yrs. to use the money by daughter inherited after my hubby expired. Got her son married to my daughter & after she realised the entire property & every materialistic possession was in my name she is torturing her. Telling her she will snatch my grandson from her & teach him to hate his mother. My sil is a perfect example of A MAMA'S BOY. Married my daughter for money through which they could lead a lavish life. She tried a lot to use her nassisism on me but I understood & moved away. I meet my daughter, my sil is always like my daughter's shadow least I show her their sinful behaviour. May God Punish them for their sins is all I pray.
I will make sure my story I had lived with a narcissist comes to light - to help truth to be seen and for others to use as help when needed. Took me to years to gather the courage to speak up. And I will.
That’s true you end up with a deep soul injury. It’s battery and should hold a maximum sentence for the damage it causes.
Amen!
The biggest sin for me wasn't just the manipulation but the physical abuse while I was pregnant. He would always say it was my fault he did it and he never wanted to hurt me and qpuld physically hurt me again. I left almost 5 months ago. I will have my baby soon and feel safe now. I also have a protection order. No more drama in my life
He was not only not there when my parents died but made my life hell that very time. Unbelievable and unforgivable
Danish, Thanks for explaining this in clear , precise language. Many of us are incapable of understanding how humans can be so absolutely evil. I am, however ,getting the message loud and clear. The weirdest thing is that these individuals blame their victims. This is typical of how evil they are.
You explain who these DEMONS are and what they are capable of perfectly. Thank you from a currently healing soul. The harm they do is so terrifying. I wish i knew who or what I was married to a lot sooner. They harm everyone they are supposed to love and protect.
The biggest sin is the smearing. Destroying your other relationships and making sure other people view you with distain and keep you away or even hurt you intentionally. Isolating you. That's the biggest sin. When it's your family or closest friends this is very bad but also if it is just colleagues or aquaintances you don't know too well, it's because they poisoned the well for you and make it unable for you get to know other people better or develop closer relationships. People you could have a nice and pleasant time with and could have the potential to get closer to but they sabotaged it.
Using me as an object to fulfil her requirements and never intending to consider me as a person was the unforgivable sin in my recent experience. Channels such as yours have given me much valuable understanding of these damaged, evil people with their malicious intent. Thank you for fortifying us with your knowledge and insight.
Literally, you are an angel teaching innocent people who are in a trap and dilemma about relationship with a narcissist. Hat's off👍
For many years I knew nothing about narcissism. I just tried to be a good husband and when that failed I was angry. Sometimes I thought reflecting back what I was getting would "show her" but it only fed her. I feel so bad for my kids that they witnessed my floundering to find a "good path" forward, never realizing I was fighting the demon in her, placed by her narcissistic mother. (who I have seen does all these things to her daughter, my wife). Sympathy and empathy for this broken child-woman is the only thing that keeps me with her.
Eventually, she told me I was "toxic" to the relationship. I went to CBT therapy, and anger management. Now I don't feed her any anger. Did things improve? No.
Every day - She says at some point that I'm fat and smelly. The constant put downs just to trigger a reaction.
Every day - She commits emotional incest, dragging my daughters along with her insanity by talking about me and everyone else. No proper boundaries.
Every day - I go about my business and try to avoid the worst in her. I can't leave right now, but each day I feel less honest and this is driving me to want to break it off.
Once I told my Partner that I believe he is an evil person and like a demon. The smile on his face told me that he knew it and even worse - he was proud of it....
I'm so blessed I finally could get rid of him...
Made me suffer alone in a room for years and then .... Decided to have an affair with a nurse that he brought here to take care of me... I've had to beg for the basic minimum just like you're saying... I think I've been traumatized. Too badly to do anything about it.. I've been isolated and alone my family is gone everybody hates me here I don't have a single friend in my life not here... I've made some beautiful friends online but everybody here has been turned against me
If I knew where you were and you were close by, I'd come to see you. But then you probably wouldn't trust that I might really care.