what is derealisation / depersonalisation?
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
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our vid on kati's channel! • dodie & Kati talk abou... she makes so many videos about many different mental health topics!
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dp/dr can also lead to anxiety and depression, as well as it being caused by them as a coping mechanism!
can lead to anxiety (I've lost control, people can tell, there's something wrong, etc)
or depression (I can't see properly and the world doesn't give me joy anymore, I will never get better)
it's important to recognise these unhealthy thinking patterns and challenge them when those thoughts happen ^_^
Does any one find it to feel like being high... but without the happy feeling?
JennyHenry dodie described it once as constantly feeling drunk
for sure
That’s exactly how I explain it!!
Yes
yes yes yes absolutely
I kept breathing today. I want all of you to keep breathing too.
Elliott I love your profile pic
Thank you. This is really kind of you.
This is so kind, thank you :,)
Elliott stop making me cry like that
If I have to 😂
I tried explaining to my therapist about my depersonalisation and her response was:
"maybe that's just the way your brain is".
cool.
I feel your pain. Most therapists ask me what my diagnoses even are when I tell them what past therapists I met at outpatient clinics diagnosed me with and then I never saw them again cause you can only go for so long to certain ones. I feel lost.
I hate that. I told my previous therapist and she said, "yeah but this usually occurs because of trauma." and it's hard to talk about because when you have it 24/7 it's hard to explain how you're feeling a way that makes sense
@@daddytabasco2217 so much of mental health is still so misunderstood :(
Let's play "YEET THAT THERAPIST!"
KERSTIN
The thing is , most therapists know a shit about Derealization
I'm literally crying right now. I had no idea that it had a name. I thought I was just stupid and lazy and occasionally losing my damn mind. I totally feel the thing about not being able to open your eyes wide enough. I never even brought that up to anyone because I didn't even know how to explain it. I can't remember anything because I'm just in this constant fog. Feels similar to being high, or like you said drunk, all the time. These feelings are so scary and so isolating (especially the depersonalization) when you don't know what's happening or why or that other people actually feel this bizarre way too and its not just you. Thank you so much for making this.
Same I thought it was normal to feel like this I hope you're ok though
Weed.
Sarah Feldhut I probably would have written the exact same comment if I hadnt seen yours before, you exactly discribed how i feel.
EXACTLY ME! I had the moment you had 2 days ago... How have you been since?
@@lunahet9809 did it last as long as a moment for you? Because I have had it for the past couple of years and its still there
alright i'm just gonna write a few thoughts down. i don't think i have depersonalization/derealisation, it's a little bit different actually. i just feel kinda.. empty? like every day just feels like a routine without any meaning and even when i cry tears of joy or sadness (which happens veery rarely btw) i know i'm crying and i'm supposed to be happy/sad/angry but i just can't experience the emotion that comes with it. what bothers me most about it is that i can't bring myself to care about anything. things that used to bring me joy or sadness are just nothing now. i just feel like laying around all day. i'm just like 'whatever' about literally EVERYTHING and i don't know what to do. when something bad happens or even when something that's supposed to make me really happy happens i just don't care. and i want to so badly. i told my aunt and mom about this and they told me - of course - that it's because of puberty and i shouldn't worry too much about it. i don't feel alive and i don't know what this is. does this even make sense? probably not. please tell me that i'm not the only one. does anyone know what this is? does someone have the same problem? END MY SUFFERING PLEASE
YEAH, I HAVE THAT PROBLEM A LOT!
it sounds like depression imo, but i honestly don't know enough about it to say for certain. but you're toootally not alone. it sucks so much ass
pastelblack having gone through disassociation and depression to me that sounds a lot like depression. At least my experiences with depression related to that a lot. You're not alone and I'm sure everything will turn out alright in the end (me and many others are living proof of that!) ❤️
i know how you feel :'( i'm not an expert on this, but it sounds like depression to me. reach out to a doctor/therapist if you can, they'll probably be able to give you the proper diagnosis and give you the help you need
At around 2:45 in the video she says that being "blunted" means you can't feel your emotions and that it can happen as a form of mental illness, maybe that's what your experiencing? My experiences with depression have felt a lot like the emptiness you described, so maybe it's a form of depression? I hope this helps you somehow! I'm sorry your family haven't taken you seriously when you've told them, but I would definitely suggest trying to talk to them again about it. Maybe do some research about how you're feeling and show it to them? You have a wonderful online community of people here including myself who will be here to talk to you about it and give you support, so reach out to us too!
You're not alone that's exactly how I've felt for the last few years and I still don't know what's up with me
Sometimes I feel like I’m this tiny version of myself sitting inside my brain just kind of watching a movie that is my life
YES THIS
omgg same I feel so small or just really far from my body
It's something like cartesian perception. Mind-body dualism. I guess.
@@elsaglbi have the same feeling but when i try to fall asleep
Watching this back now and DID NOT KNOW THAT KATIE WAS IN THE SHANE SERIES OMG I KNEW SHE WAS FAMILIAR WTF
OMG SAMEEEE
Kati**
derealisation just hits me at random times and it lasts minimum of 5 minutes to one whole day. ive always told my parents that i feel like im in a dream and that nothing feels right, and thanks to my youtube recomendations now i know what it is. thank you dodie for making this video :)
Why might happened this ? Were you a drug user ?
@@gipsingaflaka3534 nah im like 14 lol. it was probably from too much work because i had regular school, music school so i was too tired. i also experience this when everything's too loud (like at parties)
jacob with a j hdhdjjdjdhsjs sameeee i’m only 13 and it suckksssss
Yes derealisation is like this for me too! It comes when the stress is too much or a combo of very bright or loud places with a lot of impressions, like when theres a lot of people! Sometimes it lasts, like u said, for 5 mins or a day or the longest I've had was for 1-2 weeks... And for me the scary part is not being sure when you might get derealisation again and how long it will last. It has stopped me from going to school and work bc I can't think clearly and it feels waay too uncomfortable being around people.
I suffred from this for a year . The problem is b12 and foltate diffency .
Thank you so much for this video. I always struggled with understanding what's the "big trauma" in my life that caused my derealisation/depersonalisation but this made me realise like it could be small things, and I'm not just being dramatic. thank you. you don't understand how much this video helped me just understand. thank u ! :)
u two are my two favourite youtubers :)
Yay! I am so glad it was helpful!! xoxo
Yeah me too! I've realized that I always get derealisation whenever I leave my house, and this video enlightened me that This was probably because when I was little I depended on being with my parents and being all safe at my house, and whenever my mom wasn't around and I wasn't home I would flip out and cry, especially at pre-school. I have had a pretty calm life, and I'm not depressed or even have anxiety (I don't think haha) until this past year. When I realized derealisation was a thing I started to remember me thinking "I'm at home sleeping right now", and "When am I gonna wake up?" when I was like 4 or 5. (I'm almost 16). This video helped open my eyes even more, and realize a reason for how I feel.
i still have no idea what triggered mine & its so annoying ugh
I mean I guess you just have to wait it out. It took me a while to kinda get it to click. For a while I thought that I was just overthinking because I have a very active brain, but you like REALLY have to think back. Like Kati said, It could be very small things, and if they're small, maybe you forgot them. But I'm not a therapist or anything, so I might be wrong.
it might not even be one or a few giant things! Could just be ur brain protecting itself from stress
loved the description of the childhood "little Ts" as i've never really thought about it in that way before!
This is one of the best and most important collabs out there. It brings personal experience to professional experience in the best way without being too intrusive. This video definitely helped me understand depersonalization and derealization a lot better.
what if i just constantly feel like i’m in another body, even though i recognize i’m in my body? i just feel like i’m disconnected from everything, like everything going on around me isn’t a dream, but i don’t relate to anyone. or anything. it’s just like a certain aloneness. is this still the same thing? feeling alone in my own head?
Sara Yes, it is.
Oh! I get this sometimes, I'm getting it less but I used to get it all the time when I was quite young like ages 3-7
Omg it's been put into words. I've felt/feel this so often but could never explain it, i always thought it was just me
Maybe try a hobby youre really interested in. Or meditating.
Omg I feel so relieved! I have been feeling like this recently and you just described everything I feel rn. I thought I was so alone.
I found the part about the marble really helpful actually, don't get me wrong, reliving trauma isn't fun, but looking at it that way helped
I am so glad!! xoxo
ikr! It helped so much :)
i don't have any of depersonalization or anything at all but i hate when people touch me to calm me. it makes me feel claustrophobic and just annoyed. however, i love touching something. for example, i used to have this shell necklace and whenever i was stressed in anyway i would just put my thumb in it and rub it and it calmed me down a lot.
i used to get that exact thing as a child, and my small cousin has it a lot. His parents realised this and explained this to their doctor. Im not saying this is a bad thing but the doctor said, some cases of minor Autism include these symptoms. (see he hated being with a lot of people at one time, he didnt like people touching him, he fiddled A LOT , and he had OCD (especially with his beloved stationary ) ) and he was hence, diagnosed with autism. IM NOT SAYING YOU HAVE AUTISM. Maybe it could be just a pet-peeve, and sometimes we grow out of those things. Maybe if you suffer from any type of social anxiety, that may affect how you react to that type of empathetic physical contact. Maybe its just belittling to you? Its great that you had something to calm you down that doesn't affect your health though :) i have a necklace as well that i still use to this day :) (rather i use it to relieve my stress when im nervous about an upcoming exam etc.)
halfstar hmm that's very interesting and cool. I also think my thing is more in the lines of social anxiety like u were saying. i hate public speaking of any type and even being in the hallway with everyone pushing and shoving and me trying to get my books and someone trying to talk to me stresses me out. Yes the shell has helped me so much and like u were saying again it doesn't harm me unlike what other people will do.
im glad i could help a bit :)
julia thørntøn I realate it doesn't always annoy me but most of the time yes it feels scary and uncomfortable
julia thørntøn+ If you were on the autism spectrum those 2 behaviours would fit in with the discomfort that you'd get from physical contact and rubbing the shell would be described as stimming.
Wait I just realized this is Kati from Shane’s series...
YES
I JUST DID THE SAME THING
no wonder she looks familiar
Reading your comment made me realise this
I’ve been dealing w derealization for a year now I think and it’s the scariest feeling and knowing someone else has it makes me feel more at ease
So so true
me too i need to see a therapist
How are you doing now?
@@LilyStultz How are you now and is this feeling gone forever What do you advise me to get rid of it
@@mahmoudalsaraf2119 I’m going through it currently as well, how long have you had it ?
I've been suffering from dissociation for about three years now. I have watched every single one of Kati's videos on that topic (and many others ofc) and was so relieved when I found out what it is and that other people experience this too. When Dodie started to talk about herself feeling "spaced out" and how she finally got the same diagnosis as me, I was so unbelievably sad because seeing the same distress I am feeling in somebody else somehow made me realize that it really is like... BAD and I am not just over-sensitive and over-reacting.
Kati and Dodie are my favorite CZcamsrs and having them talk about my mental illness is a bit unreal (lol) but I just want them to know that they have helped me so much to accept and work on my mental health. I hope talking to Kati helped Dodie as much as me because she's so good at explaining ♡
Yeah, that's why it's so important that we as a society can get better at talking about mental health, all ALL types of mental illness. There's nothing scarier that thinking you're alone with what you're feeling and experiencing. Hope you can find a treatment to help you!
Jam Brownies I am so sorry it must be horrible to experience that all the time , I really hope you and Dodie get better , so sorry 💛
Jam Brownies we're literally the same person omg
Awe :) I am so glad you found the video helpful and it's another reminder that you are not alone..and it can get better :) xoxo
Heyyy Was just wondering if you recovered?
I haven't watched yet but thank you for making this!! Videos about mental health issues can really help people with mental illness who want to relate or maybe think they might have a mental illness. It can also help for somebody who has a friend/relative with a mental illness who just wants to understand. Education about mental illness is important.
Kitty Crafter praise 🙌🏻
I couldn't agree more :) xoxo
I love those moments when a therapist explains something and the other persons face just shows them mentally going ohhhhh ya that makes sense
I've had it before, but it was always dismissed.
I don't have it anymore, so if it helps anybody, my way of getting rid of it was doing something new each day. I guess because for me, my brain kind of lost itself in the same rotation day by day by day.
I hope this helps, and remember,
You're loved!
Hey , thanks for your advice ! How long did you have it ? I I have this trouble for now 4 months and trying to find a solution
@@IVAN-vx8ln I've had it for... I'm not sure. It kind of just happened one day after I played this thing which was kind of VR and it made everything seem so.. not real? But if I pinpoint it from that day then aprox. 2 years. I don't have a proper diagnosis but I know what I felt. It was only when I moved to a new school which had a rotating schedule making everything new did it eventually lift. Also, to fully explain what I was feeling is everything that Dodie said and like I would always tell myself "Yeah, in a few hours, I'll be back to sleep." And I just always knew what to expect of the same boring old day which is what ended in my brain feeling like in a looped VR game. Try doing something new each day, basically. It's different for everyone though.
Those 10.5 minutes ended and I was like WHAT. THAT'S IT. I could have listened for three more hours.
This is making so much sense to me that it's painful but it's also good in a sense because there's the relief of knowing I'm not alone and there are people who understand and are helping me to understand
Ryan Clarke you will get through this, lots of love xx
not_so_secret_ unicorns thank you xx
Oh I get it and It's harder when you need help but can't get it
уυgα ѕαкι absolutely. I don't know how to reach out I am surrounded by people who are quick to dismiss things like mental health and make assumptions with little information and I don't know what to do
i've been dealing with derealization since my mom died in august and this video is super helpful. thank you dodie
peyton talt how are you feeling now?
flower child same 🥺
💙
❤️
How are you now?
Idk if I have this, but every single day for as long as I remember I feel just faint and distant. Like I don’t realise what’s going on around me but I am aware of it, I know I’m doing things but I feel like I’m not. I get enough sleep and water and I don’t k ow what it is and I tried to explain to to my friends but it’s hard when you don’t really know what it is
I relate... but do you ever feel like people are fake?
@@wishcandle7801 I have thissss!
WishCandle you didn’t ask me but yes i do. People seem fake or maybe sort of meaningless, which triggers major desperate episodes, because it is scary not to be able to feel connected to the people i love during my derealisation episodes. The world just looks different, like a cold place that is indifferent to your existence or maybe even hostile.
You just explained my exact situation
WishCandle yeah sometimes it’s like watching through a screen
omg when you were talking about which side of the brain depression and anxiety are on, I realised that when I get chronic headaches/migraines on that side they must be anxiety induced (going to research more now lol). my anxiety is very physical - like I get proper sick.
also, I feel like I have suffered a minor form of depersonalisation for years now. it's so interesting learning all of this, because I nod my head and now I'm like "well, shit. that would explain everything lol". like what I said to you on twitter dodie, when I met you on Saturday I was spaced out too. happens all the time. but like you, there are little ways that I come back, an I don't get any disassociation terribly. I love that you talk about it. it is so insightful and it's helping to raise global awareness of these illnesses. xx
dilEmma I personally can not relate but I hope you get better soon. And I'm also glad you are finding ways that help you understand this better. ❤️
thanks so much lovely ❤️
dilEmma No problem 😊
or you just don't drink enough water
me: "i have a lot of homework"
*dodie uploads*
me: "homework? who is she? she can wait"
Jadon Armon me
Me af
Meee
Jadon Armon if only my words could slap you... You would know that slipping into illiteracy is not a brag
I just want one day of feeling normal, no dizzyness, not feeling stoned, not having anxiety in my chest and the feeling that my stomach is pulling itself together. I never appreciated soberness when I had it.
Crying because this sounds like me. I've lived my whole life feeling like an alien, and like no disorder sounded like my experience.
I wasn't going to comment because I don't experience depersonalisation or anything like that (I closed the tab and everything) but then I realised how glad I am that you uploaded this video. As someone with no experience of this, it was really interesting and insightful, especially when some of the literature I've seen on it can be confusing, and now if I ever meet someone in this situation, I'll have at least a basic understanding of what they're going through, and that's awesome.
Marie yes! very important, one of the most important things to understand when it comes to supporting friends or loved ones because it can be a VERY uncomfortable time. i know i would’ve had a MUCH larger number of panic attacks this last year during dissociations if i hadn’t explained them to my S/O when we first started dating... he does what he can to comfort me physically and bring me back to reality but sometimes it’s hard because i’m too weirded out / scared / far away to talk to or be touched by anyone, but the biggest help is having someone there who knows what’s happening and IS there for the support WHEN the person experiencing dissociation needs it. Mad respect to you for caring about a hypothetical situation like that, people like you are why i still have faith in humanity
Damn I want her to be my therapist, she seems so nice
Nicholas says same tho
*i suffer from depersonalization derealization, it’s basically where you don’t feel real, or you feel like you’re dreaming all the time. it mostly stems from having panic and anxiety attacks. I recently came out to my mom about how I suffer from it and she didn’t exactly take my seriously.. it gets so bad at times to where I get crescent moons in my palms of my hands. (a lot of depersonalization suffers think that pinching or cutting will help them feel real. I do not cut or anything just get crescent moons every once in awhile when my anxiety kicks in or if I’m really feeling even less real that day.) now I am self diagnosed but when I first started getting the symptoms (feeling like you’re dreaming all time) I started to worry.. when you first get the symptoms you won’t notice it right at first. It WILL take you a day or maybe a few hours maybe even years. anyway, when I first got the symptoms I searched up “why do I always feel like I’m dreaming” the first article that popped up was from a therapist who herself helps people who also suffer from dpr (dpr is depersonalization) and I could relate with all of them. you will feel detached from your body, like you’re floating. I look at my hand and it doesn’t even look like it’s mine. I get my moments where I feel somewhat real and it feels so amazing and I wish that I could savor every moment of it, but it’s gone within a matter of seconds. dpr is a result of over thinking or obsessive thinking. if you do suffer from dpr like I do, just remember.. you will get through this, you’re not mentally ill.. you are in a constant stage of discomfort.. not danger.*
*dpr is triggered when your body goes into fight or flight mode. EVERYONE has gone through dpr once in their lifetime, meaning it could have been only for a few seconds or like me.. a few days, months, years. when your body goes into fight or flight mode it triggers something in your brain to numb your emotions so you can think effectively to get your way out of the situation. (Many people who smoke weed suffer from dpr)*
Dpr is the hardest feeling to describe you have to have gone through it to know how it feels.. and if you’re going through it right now you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Symptoms:
Not being able to remember things as easily as you could before.
Life just goes by in a blur.
You feel detached from reality.
Things aren’t as interesting as they were before.
Often mood swings.
Blanking out of conversations often.
Always staying in your head.
now please.. if you suffer from this as well you can get through this. I myself am fighting (hopefully winning) and I know you can fight too. It may be hard at times.. trust me I know.. but if you want to be better you HAVE to push through the hard times because it will be all worth it at the end.
Thank you... just, fucking thank you. I've felt insane, my god I've felt insane. I've felt so alone. It's so so fucking terrifying to me. Something I've never heard someone talk about is that they like... Idk it feels like I almost forget I'm awake during really bad episodes. Like, I start to calm down and my brain starts to forget the situation and then it clicks back on and I go into full on panic and it happens every 10-20 seconds. Its extremely hard to explain and maybe you've experienced that, maybe not? I don't know I still feel crazy and it feels so fucking lonely and you just... you can't describe it. I'm bawling because I feel like I'm the only one who feels this and I still fear and am paranoid I have something else and that I AM just crazy. I can't function when it gets really bad. I can't stand for too long or i'll fall... I don't know. Everything feels weird and it makes me wanna scream. It feels like I'm on some insane drug ( I'm not ). Anyways, this comment helped me so much because someone has felt what I've felt for the most part. I still feel like I'm losing my mind and I hope we BOTH can get through this.
yeet thanks for the support
yeet Thank you for giving me a little bit hope again.I feels good to hear some motivating words in this difficult period in my life.🙏🏼
Please stay strong ! I just came out of this and finally feel that I can connect. There is hope. You feel that nobody understands you but one day you will wake up and slowly come back to reality. I thought I was never going to come back to earth and keep feeling empty but it eventually goes away.
Nataly Ramirez how long did it last?
Ah hey it's Kati, when I watched Shane's series I completely forgot I'd seen her before in dodie's video
Holy Howell SAME
samesame
Same but I'm confused between the sociopath thing and this
Omg I was looking to see if anyone else noticed this
I needed this today😭🙌🏻
Special Kay honestly me too
Katie Gagnon much love from one sufferer to another ❤️
Special Kay thank you, honestly has been a rough day. Hope you are doing ok💖
more than i knew....
listen to i have a secret for the mad. it will get better. xxx
I don't have derealisation/depersonalisation nor does anyone I know but I'm here ready to LEARN
Ruth Webster As someone with very bad DP and DR, I'm very happy you want to learn! :D It's so hard to deal with an illness that isn't as well known as ect depression cause people look at you as if you're insane. You seem like a cool person :)
HECK YEAH
Wait a minute... is this why I randomly remember/ obsess over things I did/ said, or other people did/ said to me when I was younger? Mind. Blown.
I sometimes look at my hands and am just so confused
Like tf are those
😂😂 how are you now?
Same!
I've been experiencing derealization/depersonalizations for as long as I remember. I often compare it to feeling asleep or going into autopilot. My brain has freaked out so much that it can't think anymore, and my body moves on it's own . I've had a few experiences where I'm sitting next to people- and they all seem so whole, they seem like a whole distinctive person that plays a specific role in my own life. Then I look at myself and don't see a whole person, or a real person, like I don't amount to the level of human they are (if that makes sense) I know I'm rambling, but I also experience times when I don't realize that I'm HERE, or present- I feel like if I said something to someone they wouldn't respond, or if I pushed someone nothing would happen. I just don't feel awake in a way- yesterday i wrote in my journal that I miss times that i was present, even if I was too present. I had a fairly rough childhood, I wasn't happy of course, but I felt THERE. It had a routine, with familiar faces and experiences every day. Now though, I'm to spaced out, everything seems unfamiliar and weird. This video helps loads ❤❤❤
I meant depersonalization lol
I've done EMDR for some trauma and even though I felt like dodie where it was like "what are you thinking?" "aaahhh idk what" it still worked. I was doing a mixture of normal talking therapy and EMDR. It's help when you with someone your comfortable with whether thats your therapist or someone sitting with you while its happening.
Mr. Brightside yesss you watch dodie
Really?so there's stiil hope!
I 'm seeing a therapist and planned to do EMDR because of the glorious reputation it have,but when I heard the blonde woman saying it doesn't work for dr/dp...arghh
So,are there other people with thoses pbs who did Emdr and it worked?The 66 people who liked,does it mean it worked for you?
And,person to wich I comment the comment,can you give more details of ,perhaps ,the reason why you think it worked 4 you,please?
Thanks,please,answer me
im commenting in an effort to feel less alone in this, i have derealization pretty bad, and it’s hard for me to not beat myself up for it. like why can’t you just FOCUS and part of me thinks im just repressing my emotions but it’s so weird. i just feel weird and bad. lmao.
Hello are you okey? How you feel? I recovered after 10 months if you want to talk with someone just reply:)
Just to shed some light at the end of the tunnel for people dealing with DP/DR.I was struggling with DP/DR, depression, hardcore anxiety, and panic attacks the past three years, but things are looking up and i would say i am 80-85% cured of the DP/DR. I understand how scary it can be sometimes, but "when going through hell, don't stop." Dissasociation is literally your minds way of saying it's overstimulated, so it goes into a sort of standby mode. The things that helped me were finding a less stressful job, getting off social media, getting out of toxic relationships, eating healthier, exercising, reading a lot, and getting out and socializing, getting sunlight, talking with family members and freinds about my issues. No matter how hard these things can be, you need to rewire your brain, and when your body tells you no you need to tell it yes. Get up, get active, and stop focusing on the past and future, just appreciate what you have right now!
Not related to the title of the video, but I just wanted to thank Dodie for her music. Lately, life has been so stressful and I pretty much cried all week. But your music, Dodie, helped me cheer up. I haven't felt this too often with other artists. Thanks for both your EP's because nothing has made me happier than these 2 masterpieces. Thank you, Dodie. ❤🌟
•Gaille Britto• I hope you start feeling better soon! Just remember that everything is going to be ok!
Awwww, thank you! 💕 I hope all your problems are solved and all your dreams come true. Much love to ya! 🌟
whenever you make these videos they make me feel so relieved to know that someone as big of a youtuber as you are, that you are imperfect as well. Most you tubers portray a perfect life but that's why I watch you instead of them, thank you so much. I know there are others out there with the same struggles as me when I see these comments on the videos.
I feel like someone actually understands.
Best advice I can give is that depersonalisation/derealisation will go away (I promise) as long as you stop fighting it!! As hard as it sounds, you need to stop focusing on your condition so much, this only feeds the anxiety. You need to just let it pass, and let it go- after you’ve had an episode, try not to dwell on it and think about it, just ignore it. Don’t think of it as a threat to block you from doing things you want to do. I know it feels like it will never go away, but I promise you it will. I had this condition from the age of 8 to the age of 13. Im now 18 and I haven’t had an episode since! I don’t fear it anymore, It’s no longer a threat to me like it used to be and I don’t let it control my life. At the time, it consumed me- its all I would think about 24/7. I stopped going to social events (which would trigger it off) and I think the end I stopped leaving the house altogether. But once I forced my condition out of my mind, and started doing what I wanted to do without fear, it stopped. You are never alone in this, and I promise you it will get better ❤️
thank you very much, you give me great hope!
Here's my life story that triggered my depersonalization/derealisation. (If you're interested):
I lived in the caribbean until i was 6. My twin brother was diagnosed w lymphoma (a type of cancer) at 6 years old. So my family (mum dad bro sis n me) had to travel to Bristol, England to get him treatment. Since me n my bro were British citizens because we could stay in Britain for a longer time however my mother and sister were born in the Caribbean they had to go back for all together 4ish years so I was separated from them alot. But when they were here my parents stayed w my bro in hospital in Bristol but me and my sister had to live in Devon with our horrible auntie and I we had to go to separate schools because she is 6 years older than me. So like back in the day when I was in year one I had this Grenadian British accent thing going on and I wasn't v articulate so my teachers hated me. My bro came to my school in year 2 but still wasn't cancer free. So he's been having check ups until year five. That last time I went to Grenada (where I lived out the Caribbean) was in year three. I practically lived on planes 😂😂. And I am now a 12 year old w crippling depression anxiety depersonalization and I haven't managed to bring back my confidence I had when I was 5 so yeah. But thanks to Dodie, I am just happier and also ppl like Dan and Phil yah kno. I'm still not as happy as I was, but that is my main goal. But I'm getting there I guess. Thank you for making this video, Dodie. 💗💗💗
ofcourse_i_dnt_read_phanfic I know I'm completely going off subject but do I know you from Instagram?
A thing I do when I'm spaced out is 'grounding'. Find 5 things you can touch, 4 things you can see, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. It helps me a lot.
Lana Moore that's similar to what i do :) I eat something Really cold or spicey. Or dance while listening to my favourite song. Or pet my cat and Things like that. And I exercise. I don't know Why but sport Really Really helps in those situations. It kind of helps me to Connect with my body and mind and just grounds me :)
Lana Moore thank you!!! ❤️
Thank you for sharing!! These are great grounding techniques!! xoxo
when im sitting in class i feel like im just someone else whos pretending to be me
its not really like im acting its more like a video game and nothing really feels like it matters cause whats the worst thing that could happen if its all just a halluzination?
i feels like im reading a book of someone else but im not actually a character in the story
i dont have opinions on things
i dont enjoy doing things
and when i look at myself in the mirror it feels like im looking at someone else
i recently felt so disconnected from my childhood pictures and its not like i dont remember being a kid i just dont remember how it felt to be me
its almost like i died a while ago and i didnt notice it and now im just viewing the world as a ghost
I am feeling exatly the same daamn thing ? Did you get over it btw?
sometimes i feel like that too
As someone who also suffers from depersonalization/derealization episodes, I really appreciate you making this video. I couldn’t tell you how great it felt when I found out that I wasn’t alone in how I felt and this video can help others find that connection too ❤️
Oh my goodness, Kati just seems so supportive 💛💛💛
Okay this really helped me sort of understand why I feel detached from the world at times. I've been in a car crash and ever since it's scarred me & stuck with me for the past 8 years. My friends think I'm being dramatic but even I know I'm not being dramatic because I know it was sourced from somewhere. Thank you, Dodie ❤️
AbiSays Damn, after a car crash it is definitely not dramatic! If you experience dr/dp after such a traumatic experience it’s 100% reasonable why your brain would shut off and maybe it just didn’t properly switch back on. Doesn’t sound dramatic at all though. Lol imagine the situation of most of the people who got this out of the blue and have no idea why their brain is acting so strange (me). We can’t really know what made our brain want to switch to a different way of perceiving things but sadly we must accept it..
suffering DP or DR can be so scary but these explanations of each disorder is comforting, it seems so simple and makes sense - after fearing the worst
I feel like I don’t really exist. It’s like I’m seeing myself as someone outside of me, like how every person seems to me. I wish I could see myself from their perspective, like a person.
When I look at my mom, it’s difficult for me to believe that she is a living person with her own mind and thoughts... and that everyone else in the world is the same. They all have thoughts and experiences making everyone different and unique.
I wish I could look at myself through another person’s eyes. Maybe then I could see how I’m a person as well, with my own mind and thoughts.
(I typed the above in the span of... maybe 3 minutes? I just typed what came out of my mind after watching. It may not make sense to you, but I decided to type it anyway, just incase any others may be having the same feelings 🙂 I hope every here is doing well these days :D)
I feel the same way and i feel like what even is humanity i dont even feel like a person
@@nayelyperla2478 It will all make sense again one day 😞
@@Cookie_Comment how do you feel now?
@@nayelyperla2478 I honestly forgot about this comment! Since I am only in my early ages, I have not really been able to get help. I actually tried explaining it to two close relatives, but it seems like they don’t experience the same. It may seem like that would put you down or make you feel sad, but really to me I was happy for them and it reminded me that this probably will not last forever!
(Typed about 3 minutes later after getting water:)
Now that I think about it more... maybe it has gotten worse? I had an important test today where I had to physically go to my school, and I felt really disassociated, but I just put it aside. My performance on it could have been better without the spaced out-ness.
(After thinking more:)
Maybe I overthought it. I have no clue anymore and I have gotten lost in my thoughts... This was all over the place. I guess that is a representative of my mental health now 😞 Maybe I just have to go to bed. I hope things brighten up for you ❤️
I was actually happy ... because I loved my life, I loved my friends, loved to play, loved to draw and listen to music. It kills me. It is really difficult to be happy with this state! I know it’s difficult, but I’m not going to give up
I've got really, really bad derealization. You're the only youtuber I know that also has it. Thank you for this video
I had such bad derealisation/depersonalisation for about 5 years and I felt like I had tried everything to get rid of it (I hadn't I only went to therapy and consulted googled lol) but then slowly slowly it just started going on it's own and now a good 95% of my life I feel 'normal' and it's only when I'm in particularly stressful situations that I feel really spaced out again but it's not nearly as distressing anymore and I know that when I've calmed down I'll be fine again, I guess I just wanted to reassure anyone that's going through the same thing that even though it does feel like it's going to last forever and you're never going to be okay again, it doesn't and you will
Thank you for this bit of hope. This is a new thing for me. I've been dealing with this for a while off and on but it just recently got really bad and it's been so scary, especially because I've had no idea what this is or why I'm feeling this way. It's been so bad that I just feel so hopeless and trapped in this weird dream and I've had the darkest thoughts because of it. Thank you for giving me hope that maybe I'll get better.
i feel like i might have this?.. things feel not real and i feel like i’m in a stimulation kind of and every minute of my day i observe everything and create random theories in my head and when someone says “oh it’s okay everything is real” i feel like they’re lying to me so i don’t think/know they’re gonna do something to me
this could be a completely different thing but yeah
I feel the same don't worry, I think it was triggered from either using drugs once or smoking weed one time as I had a bad experience with both, or potentially a really bad friendship breakup, im still trying to understand it. Ive had it for 5 months now, and although that seems like a long Time, it doesn't feel that way to me it feels so short. I completely get you in the fact that you think people aren't real, like you probably think im not real right now but I promise you I am, I've heard the same thing from people because they don't understand it as you don't really hear about it as much as depression, anxiety etc but just know everything is going to be okay, it all works out in the end, just take every day at a time
For me my dreams and real life are so mixed and when I look at myself I look so different
Bvaddie :c same
I rarely comment on videos when on CZcams as I have a lot of anxiety surrounding interaction with people at any level, online or in person but I wanted to share this poem I wrote some time ago, and this community always seems so nice. I think it describes some of the feelings I was going through at one time in my life and watching your videos has made me think I may have been experiencing some form of depersonalization....
Is this face mine?
It blinks in time with I
When blue it too sinks, to a sadly painted hue
In its cheeks
And as I, walk and talk my way through time
It too ages with the mind
forming every crease and every line
I question still:
I may be real but is this face mine?
Or is it merely borrowed to one day be returned?
To trade in all that I have loved and all that I have learned
For another soul to grow old,
Only to ask a question asked through time
Is this face truly mine?
love this!
This is so good 💕💕
i've literally never connected with a poem more omg
This is so beautiful 😍
Hey I know you commented this a long time ago but it really is beautiful for what it’s worth you’ve made an impact in my life. You are special and wonderful, and I want you to know that however little it really did your poem has altered my life. Maybe not in a significant way, but you’ve made an impact. Don’t ever stop, you never know how much of an influence you can be
Can you have the text stay up for a bit longer on your videos please? I've noticed a few youtubers recently started making text come and go quite quickly and it's not always possible to pause the video fast enough to read the text . Especially important for something that is giving context and Wil make it more accessible to people. Thanks!
I love how she said that depersonalization was REAL BAD and yet that’s what I have most frequently of the three 😂
same omg 😂 and I never brought it up to my therapist bc I’d always either forget or I’d dismiss it as not “bad enough” to talk to my therapist about
it’s scary to think that I experienced a brief moment of depersonalisation when i was probably 7 or 8. I remember looking at my hands and just thinking they, weren’t there, and that they weren’t attached to my body. now blown me 5 ish years later I’m experiencing it all the time! derealisation is something I experienced 24/7, now I experience it less but it’s still there; I just had an episode, probably the worst I’ve had of depersonalisations and it’s the scariest thing I have ever experienced and I absolutely hate it; felt like I was controlling my body from outside of me? Hard to explain, I didn’t feel like anyone, not like me; if I even know what ‘me’ is, looking in the mirror or looking at pictures of ‘me’ I don’t feel like that person, I don’t really feel like anyone. But hey ho gotta keep going I guess
Heyy did you recover?
I really hope you're feeling okay, You deserve absolute endless joy and happiness and you have helped so many people through so much. Please never forget how much you mean to all of us. One day it'll all be okay.
Even though I don't have chronic/diagnosable derealization/depersonalization/dissociation this really did help me a lot because from time to time I do feel spaced out/numb to the point where I don't really feel right in that sense, so this put a name to this feeling and I definitely do feel better about being able to handle it as it is pretty frightening. Thank you so much, this was a great video. Luv you bb
Im going to therapy, and it's hard for me to say "me" or "I", I usually say "One" like it was another person
I have depersonalization and derealization and I didn’t know how to properly convey it to my mom and I showed her this video and I just wanna thank Doddie for being a sweetheart and making a video that educates others easily on these types of topics
Robin Kozloski same here
Dear Dodie,
you two are true angels and just saved my day. I had really bad anxiety and epsiodes of DR and DP within the last weeks. I suffer from this for about a year now. Even though it is better now than when it first started, my life has changed for the worse ever since I collapsed on the grass in a park last summer (first severe panic attack out of nowhere).
Normally I'm not that sentimental but this video made me cry because I feel so understood from both of you!
I try to explain it to my friends and they are wonderful and listen but they don't understand what it means to not live in reality and to not feel your own body from time to time. It is a struggle and it is very real..
Dodie I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing awareness to this mostly unknown condition. It means so much to all of us that suffer!
Thank you and keep going strong. We know how hard it is. You can do it. We can do it! ❤
holy shit the little t big t thing. makes so much sense thank you
I had it 24/7 for 6 years I thought everything was a dream and everything felt very surreal… I thought it never go away but it does go over time, doing exercise helps a lot
Did you do anything else to make it go away
what does it mean if i don't really feel like it's a dream but i just feel like... idek how to explain it. like you're watching tv and you're looking at the screen and you know it's real but.. you're just seeing it through a screen. or you see it and you also feel like you arent seeing it, like you're seeing it in your head. is that... the same thing?
yes, its hard to describe buddy.
I think it's dissociation. You feel like you are present but nothing seems to make any sense. That's what I had like I couldn't see anything as the information registered in my mind.
This is similar to how I feel. It's definitely hard to describe. Kinda like everything I'm seeing is through a window like it's there and I can see it but it's on the other side of the window.
that’s how i feel rn
I had this last year in choir. I had to sing in front of about 15 people. When I started to sing, I realized I wasn't looking out of my own eyes. I felt like I was watching over myself. It was almost like watching a video of yourself, but live. It scared the shit out of me at the time, and I was really nervous. *and btw I didn't get in~Im probably not a good singer (/ω＼)*
And goodbye homework.
Lilyiscompletetrash M E
ok im literally in tears right now bc of this video
I've basically been in a derealization episode for 2 years and like Dodie even said at it's worse it's depersonalization. It feel like being high but without any of the fun. I know it's from childhood trauma and recent trauma. Weirdly enough things that have helped me to start feeling normal again is talk therapy and yoga. I know it won't help with everyone but I can say it's improved my DR/DP and instead of being constant it seems to come and go more now and I'm starting to feel more normal than not. Working through my issues, allowing myself to feel and trying to be more connected with my body and surroundings have helped substantially. It's a lot of work but I am happy to be working through it!
This video couldn't have come at a better time. For the past few days, I've been going through I guess disassociation/derealization where everything feels like dream or like I'm not really here. Almost as if everything is on a different frequency than me. I used get episodes like this when I was I think thirteen or fourteen during a rough year of my life. It used to come in bouts throughout high school, but by the time I left, I never really experienced it much. Now I'm going through a lot of stress and anxiety and this episodes are coming back again.
This video was really helpful and I suddenly feel like people understand me. I remember in school when I used to explain this to friends and they wouldn't understand.
😊 Kati seems so lovely and kind
Derealization is something that I used to feel constantly until some time after high school. Sometimes it comes back and I hate it and don't miss it. Seeing people in the comments compare it being high is interesting and a relief to me because that's one reason I hate getting high. Dodie is lovely and I'm sorry that she has to deal with this condition. I hope she'll have a treatment help her someday if she hasn't already. It's so nice to be able to have a clear mind. 💜💜💜
This was so sweet and reassuring to watch. It made me cry, because I didn’t realize how prevalent this “I’m not really here” or “this doesn’t feel real” feeling was in me. I just couldn’t understand why I felt this disconnect. But I think I might be feeling this super regularly, which I’m coming to terms with and it’s pretty scary. You both have such an inviting warm energy, it made me feel so comfortable thank you!
OMG IT'S KATIIIII!!!!! SHE'S HELPED ME SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! THE COLAB I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED!!!
Yay!! xoxo
When she shaid that thing about inside out i was like holyshitosaurus this is amazing.
I didn't watch this until now because of VidCon and jet lag, but I'm so thankful that this was made. As someone who struggles with all three of those at times, it can feel even more alienating that I don't know anyone else in my personal life who knows what I'm going through. I'm thankful for you talking about hard mental health things, you are incredible.
dodie thank you so much for making this video - i've been suffering from dissociation during my panic attacks for the past 7-8 years and i've never understood what exactly is happening during my panic attacks. I start to feel as if the world is not real and i feel my mind push into universes and universe away from my body and the only way for me to snap back to reality is by screaming from the sheer fear of the experience. It gets really bad during times of high stress and i've had years of therapy to help talk about my feelings to help destress, but i still get them. I just never knew how to diagnose it and didn't realise that someone, especially someone who i look up as a musician, experiences the same/similar mental illness. so THANK YOU SO MUCH for making this video, you have finally given me closure. ily
This comforted me I haven't recover since something that happened 2 years ago and to bring my brain back too! ❤️
I get headaches and anxiety too! And I fiddle so much and fidgeting since recovering from my trauma but I also might have ADHD too and still have derealisation too but I'm not diagonised but I know I have been going through depersonalisation for 2 years
Elisa Benaggoune Medical community likes to attach words like ADHD to things they can't understand. You are your own type of normal, everyone is. Nobody is perfect or always right, content, or in a state of constant happiness..no such thing as permanence of any kind. I had an episode of a sort of "awakening" over a year ago and then slipped into this state of what can only be described as DP/DR...a flat state where nothing is ever either good or bad it simply "IS". Don't try to act out as you think you should be. Just be how you are, you will feel more content and it doesn't matter how anyone else See's you, if they have a problem it's theirs not yours. Be as you are it's all you can do.
thankyouuu
I have headaches everyday and bad anxiety
Ahhhh so glad to see you do a video with Kati! FAVES ❤
why did i cry throughout this entire video
i just wanted to thank you dodie. thanks to you bringing attention to depersonalisation i’ve been properly diagnosed and on my way to recovery. 2 months ago i started having these types of episodes where i just ‘zoned out’ and felt like i was on the verge of passing out, my vision blurred and i had no idea where i was or who i am. i’ve had depersonalisation my whole life, my first memory of it when i was four and i just felt like i wasn’t there but at the same time i was the only one in the room,,? when my mom realised it was recurring she gave it a name, ‘lonely’. at first the doctors thought i was having seizures or there was something wrong with my brain until i saw this video a few weeks ago. when i’m in the middle of an intense depersonalisation episode it scares the shit out of me, i look at my hands and they’re not mine, i look at my friends and i i just can’t recognise them. because i’ve had depersonalisation my whole life i don’t know how i would feel without it. when i was younger it made me feel so different to other kids, i would zone out or just become quiet all of a sudden. having it has damaged me so much and had probably influenced my anxiety and depression to become worse, i felt like there was this whole in my chest, like i was missing something. so thank you dodie for helping me identify my ‘lonely’.
Oh I've missed you ❤️
I'm getting therapy next week. Yay.
EDIT: OH MY GOSH. I went great... I have two more scheduled this month. I really love my therapist. She's great. 😊 (It also turns out I have bipolar depression!)
YAY!! So proud of you!! xoxo
Stay strong guys, never give up, you are stronger than depersonalization
I experience very heavy derealization. I watched you a lot a few years back and didn’t really understand what you were taking about when you explained depersonalization/derealization, but now I experience derealization almost constantly. Thank you for talking about this.
How do you feel now?
i really needed to hear the part about trauma. i experience a lot of symptoms of mental illnesses that come from trauma but i always think i've never really been through anything but maybe there's a lot that i didn't realise. thanks for this video, it helped me quite a bit :)
Sometimes I feel really detached from my surroundings and my self but I don't think I have dp/dr. Sometimes I wonder if I have social anxiety as I really struggle in social situations, like my stomach knots up and I sometimes I feel like I'm gonna cry or throw up. I don't have many friends because i never speak up or get involved at school and I blush when I do... or maybe I'm just nervous... idk??
Ps this video was lovely and you two are adorable 💗
Anxiety and panic attacks can cause dissociation (which is sort of the umbrella term for DPDR). it can come and go in association with other diagnosis.. I hope that helps and makes sense :) xoxo
Kati Morton wow, thank you I never knew that! Thank you so much for your reply, you're lovely 💗
knowing that other people are suffering from dpd, drd and dad makes me feel a lot less crazy so i’m very thankful for this :)
dodie, i thank you so much, i dont want to say that anyone deserves a mental disorder - nobody deserves to suffer, just to make clear. But i wanted to tell you that expecially you, you dont deserve all that. you helped me so much. I always thought about my mental disorder (anxiety, depression, derealisation/depersonalisation) as a result of being too weak, too lazy, (...). I hated myself because of that even though i didnt see self-hatred as an effective and fair option. After i listened to you talking about everything that open I'm losing my judgement, i'm not hating myself anymore because of my mental disorder. I'm still learning, but this helps me, not to feel ashamed of myself.
I got so much left to say
i love you dodie, thanks so much!
Jana
This was so interesting and enlightening!! Thank you dodie for always posting about issues that have a lot of stigma around then, you educate me in so many ways and I love the way you make these videos💞💞
Thank you so much. I have been suffering from anxiety for a few years but feelings like this have just started. I feel so much better knowing that there is a name and I am not going crazy. Please make another video about this!
4 years ago i discovered this video, 3 years ago i discovered i had (mostly) derealisition, two years ago i went into therapy, one year ago is the last time i had derealisation for more than a week at the time. Today i rediscovered the vid and its a really nice look back of where i come from. so in general thank you dodie
I feel like I have derealisation allll the time I feel like I'm in a dream all the time and my friends think I'm weird for it...anyone else?
Kie T yeah. I think I have derealisation a lot but when I'm not, I'm just nothing. I don't feel. It's weird and lots of my friends have depression so understand what I mean but they don't understand it's confusing and I'm rambling and making no sense.
Lucas M I sometimes feel that way whilst high and have breaks from smoking during those periods (usually when life is hard and i get paranoid af) but rarely feel that way apart from after terrible days or bad news... it sometimes does but i'm not sure it's linked to smoking but stress/anxiety which i suffer from a lot..have you had any treatment or is it solely linked to smoking?
Ok but the sudden deep look dodie had in the camera at 8:52 kinda looked unreal like a person in a dream breaking character, breaking the fourth wall, creeply acknowledging you.. but I guess this video really puts you in the mood for stuff like this
this is amazing, i never noticed that! thanks for pointing it out
this was so incredibly helpful,, thank you. i experience all of these mostly the derealization, the other two come out when i get really panicky. reading the comments has been so gorgeous because i feel not alonnnnne and now have good ways of describing it to people,, thank you dodie and katie :)
Thank you for this video, Doddie! I'm glad i'm not alone although i wouldn't wish this on anyone. Sometimes people explain dissociation/dr/dp as something that happens for a period of time and you snap out of it then you feel real again whereas it's not like that for me. It literally never ends though it gets worse at times
Heyy did you recover?
This is the clarity I NEEDED!!! I’ve been going through this on and off for a few months and I’m glad I now know the difference. I literally feel like I’m floating through life right now. Everything is cloudy looking around me, sometimes looking in the mirror Idk who I’m looking at, and when I walk it’s like I’m waking on air. It really scares me because sometimes I think I have passed away and just living through my spirit smhh: someone please tell me I’m not the only one.
How are you now Kenni?
@@ashleyriosrizo I literally got emotional reading this post again! When I tell you I feel 1000xs better I need to literally vlog about this!
Don’t get me wrong I still have anxiety about certain things but nowhere NEAR this experience
@@kennicharne1286 Praise God! 👏
@@ashleyriosrizo ALLLLL THE TIME!
I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how I was feeling in that time smh
@@kennicharne1286 Well praise God for the rain and the sunshine because it brings a new appreciation for life. Hallelujah our God reigns!