Living with Complex PTSD (And Constant Dissociation)
Vložit
- čas přidán 26. 02. 2023
- Yasmin is diagnosed with Complex PTSD. She frequently catastrophizes, believing that everything will turn into a disaster. Her loving boyfriend Carlos tries to support Yasmin whenever she is symptomatic. Together the two are learning that loving a person with Complex PTSD is possible when both people are committed.
Connect with Yasmin at / yasminnelken
Support SBSK at / sbsk
SBSK's Socials:
/ specialbooksbyspecialkids
/ chrisulmer
/ specialbooksbyspecialkids
Yasmin told me it is her goal to meet other people who understand what she is experiencing. She hopes to create a community of people who are empathetic so she doesn't feel alone in her struggles. I left her social media account in the description of this video for anyone who would like to connect with Yasmin.
Thanks for sharing. These videos are great insight to the different lives everyone leads. Be kind and understanding.
Thank you for sharing, I so understand so much of what is being said.
I have the exact same diagnoses - due to narcissistic physical and emotional abuse inflicted upon me by my parents. I literally just told my spouse that I don’t ‘look’ or ‘behave’ like a PTSD, socially anxiety disordered, hopeless-feeling individual. I was raised not to talk or share my feelings with others, no matter how bad whatever happened was…I was just expected to move on (because as my mom tried to explain away her treatment of me - she’d say ‘kids are resilient’). I’m not as young as Yasmín - I’m 57 and I have NEVER felt like I belonged anywhere but always trying to fit in (I still feel this way). Whenever anything bad ever happened or still happens, I always thought / think it was / is my fault. I have always suffered from depression but always did what I was expected of me until I just can no longer put myself ‘out there’ publicly. My inability to handle emotions range from ruminating, self-pity and literal head-banging against the wall. I thought I was the only one who experienced these similar behaviors - hopeless, out of control, alone and suicidal. Thank God for her significant other and her willingness to share. Thank you for this vlog.
I have CPTSD and Dissociative disorder, I understand and really empathise with you Yasmin, I’ve started treatment with EMDR and it has helped, it’s just hard to get out of the safety and comfort that dissociation provides.
I hope I can start dating one day, I’m also 26 but my CPTSD always got in the way when I would try to date, so I’m glad that you’ve been able to step over that hurdle 👏🏻
I would like to stay in touch with you. Your videos are amazing. I would even like to do an interview :-)
Hello everyone, it’s Yasmin!
To say I’m overwhelmed from everyone’s response would be an understatement. Before making this video, I felt like I was the only one who felt the way I did. For a long time, it was just me, in my head. Even after I filmed the interview, I was so nervous about what I said. “What if I’m exaggerating?” “What if I’m taking up space?” “Maybe this isn’t as serious as I thought it was”.
But from all the amazing people who have commented and messaged me, I see that’s far from the case. Thank you to each and every one of you. I don’t think you understand just how much your words mean to me. I will carry with me all the support and use it to fuel my journey. I won’t disappoint you guys 😤
Chris, I don’t know how you fit all that babbling into a 20 minute video. I’ve watched your videos for years and I’m still amazed at your abilities. You’re such an amazing host and what you do is incredible. I have you to thank for all of this ❤️
Aaah I have so much to say!! But for now all I have to say is thank you!! I hope you all have an amazing day and know that no matter what, you and your struggles, whatever they may be, are valid. Alone we persevere, but together, we overcome (that sounded a lot cooler in my head). Love you all ❤️❤️
Yasmin thank you so so much. You are incredible.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us . I can relate so much to you and do not feel so alone with my struggles with CPSD , Dissasosation disorder. I'm 65 years old and was SA by a neighbor guy that worked on our family ranch. I never told a soul , as he'd threatened to harm me and my family. My parents never knew. No one did until I found out he'd died. Then I told my someone that loved me dearly and later became my Husband. He led me to seek help and get a diagnosis and have a strategy to work through things. He's now passed away and I've been struggling a bit again. But my son knows and is a huge help. Sending you hugs and love ! Thank you again Yasmin 💓 💖
Thank you for sharing. I could relate to a lot of it, especially your worries about it not being serious enough like you mentioned in your comment. It’s very validating to hear from people with similar experiences.
Wishing you the best!
You did such an amazing job Yasmin. I hope you are proud of yourself!
You did really well in your interview 👏🏻🤗
i have the privilege of knowing yasmin in person and being blessed for this woman to be my best friend. she is truly one of the most genuine, funniest, smartest, wonderful, and beautiful people i’ve ever known. i saw a comment where someone said that her attractiveness affects her trauma, but i disagree with that. all types of people in all shapes, sizes, color, and appearances go through trauma. the only difference is how we experienced it and how we all try to grow and heal from it. please don’t diminish her experiences just because she is pretty.
You’re such a great best friend. Sorry you (and anyone else) had to read such a disgusting, victim-blaming comment. Trauma can happen to anyone. Saying a child “attracted” a predator is a VILE thing to say and whoever said that is probably a ped0 themself. 🤢
The one who has the privilege is me. Knowing you has been the biggest pleasure of them all. Thank you for standing up for me 🤍 now let me get out of here before I start simping for you
that is so true, people think because one looks or carries themselves a certain way that they arent hurting inside or dealing with things.
That's such a ridiculous notion. Looks do not dictate someone's mental state in any way. And it doesn't guarantee how people around them treat them, either.
I know that looks _can_ play a role in how strangers will interact with an individual, but it has absolutely no bearing on how an individual has been treated by others throughout their life.
It's actually kinda funny, people have assumed that I get special treatment because of my looks, and it has resulted in me being treated _worse_ because people assume that I surely must be receiving special treatment from everyone else.
They've said as much, and held it against me until they realized that it's not the case whatsoever.
Which is ridiculous, especially because if I am being honest, I know I'm not ugly, but I am far from being some goddess. Just an average person in my opinion, but I also worked a hard physical labor job, where it's typically men and manly women. So that could explain why I got the brunt of it there, because it doesn't take much to be considered the prettiest girl at manly job. Lol
But that hasn't stopped people from assuming that I only was succeeding at work because people are favoring me.
They assumed that I must not pull my weight at work.
They assumed that I was mean, and thus were less friendly to me.
I could go on and on, but women of average and above beauty are actually treated worse because of it more often than one might think.
It may sound conceited, but it's true, nowadays more than ever before! Since everyone is obsessed with "pretty privilege" and whatnot, they actually treat pretty people even worse.
To think that looks somehow make your trauma and/or mental disorders more bearable, is just insane.
It's funny how most people who say that are clearly just jealous of the person they're speaking about.
They're also the type of people to say that we shouldn't have preferences to not date fat women, because we should _only_ judge them on what's on the inside.
Ironic that they don't tend to give the same courtesy...
They're the type of people to say that we can't doubt their self-diagnosis because we don't know what trauma they feel inside, but they'll be the first to tell someone else that they're too pretty to feel pain as they do.
They'll tell white people that they can't possibly have as hard a life as they do.
It's so hypocritical. I wish people would practice what they preach.
We ought to just abide by the golden rule and treat people as people, and not their appearance...
You don't know someone by looking at them.
💗💖💗
I have complex ptsd as well. My field of expertise is neuroscience, and what makes complex ptsd so interesting is that it exposes children to obstacles which facilitate the development of mesocortical connections while neglecting mesolimbic connections. This basically means that children with CPTSD don’t have the chance to be children, and often have to compensate for unsafe adults such as parents or caregivers. While individuals with CPTSD find it hard to regulate high salience emotions because that part of them wasn’t really allowed to exist early in life, the adaptations and extensive pathways they’ve developed as a consequence of survival enables them to be some of the wisest and considerate people you’ll ever meet.
Wow, as a traumatized neuroscience student, I have never heard the thing about mesocortical over mesolimbic connections, but of course, it makes so much sense! I'll save this in my notes, thank you for sharing!
Thank you for this comment. I have cptsd and this resonated with me. Only in the last 5 years or so have I been able to access a lot more peace and childlike joy. I went through several sessions of EMDR therapy and became a mother, which has opened the door for so much healing. It feels wonderful and affirming to break the cycle of abuse. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!
Thank you for sharing. This got me a bit choked up because I relate so much to your last sentence. Only thing is that it seems that most people don't recognize that in me perhaps because my poor coping strategies are more memorable.
hey cool, the mesocortical- mesolimbic idea makes sense. I do neuroscience aswell and I have C-PTSD.
I want to research new therapies and validate old therapies for C-PTSD using a neuroscience approach. I wrote a thesis called "Beyond Default Mode: Large-Scale Brain Networks in PTSD and Mindfulness", where I tried to identify how brain networks (with a focus on Default Mode Network, Salience Network) could be altered through mindfulness-based interventions to help with PTSD symptoms.
I reviewed fMRI studies to compare changes to cognition and brain networks elicited by mindfulness practises in the healthy population with common changes in brain networks in PTSD patients to identify those goal states and their connections to symptoms.
Not making an advertisement here, it's just a bachelor's thesis, but I am really proud of it - it was my act of breaking free from the trauma and if anyone wants to read it, hit me up. :) I wish you all the best. :)
@@fortunatecoincidence That sounds fascinating! I would love to read it. Body Keeps the Score was my introduction to how trauma may work in the physical body. I like studying about it from as many angles as possible. Please send me your work!
You aren’t wallowing in self-pity. The memories coming back and overtaking your brain. Your brain and body are trying to re-process it. you’re processing grief. I hate it when people call it self-pity and try to guilt trip you for experiencing it and taking care of yourself.
True. Those are flashbacks. Somatic flashbacks. She's trying to feel safe. No self pity. Just safe.
Yes, this is soooo true!
@@jozefinszasz7038 bring on the blankets, stuffies and pillows when the flashbacks hit, best for the body to feel & be 'safe' whilst the mind surfs the tsunami 🌊 🏄♀️ 😅
@@Sharktooth17 Thank you so much for writing that. Something literally clicked in my brain right now! Like it's ok to have an afternoon under blankets and waiting for the tsunami to pass 💔😮💨 I always feel so guilty when I have those days...
@@sasha_markovskythat was sweet to read, its been a long journey personally with rest for purely rests sake, often the most trauma arises from the body not being allowed to follow its own protective instincts and the mind has to ration / reason with it . . having the ability to seek safety and comfort when desired, but then following through and experiencing it is somehow a part of the process of undoing that mental knot that was created a long time ago ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I have PTSD. The hardest part is when your family either can't know what happened (because they would judge and blame you) or they don't respect your boundaries. For example, talking about weight can affect me negatively for weeks. They still do it, and call me "overly sensitive".
I have CPTSD, and oh gosh when a trigger has happened and you can't just bring it up because of the nature of the trauma it is from. :(
@@sugoish9461 oh yes. I definitely have issues managing anger and it's even more frustrating when later I recognise that I've overreacted, I can't even blame it on the trauma because most people don't know that about me.
Sorry to hear that. If you have a therapist, maybe he or she could give you some literature for your family to read on the subject. It's TRAUMATIC STRESS syndrome, NOT Overly Sensitive syndrome.
OMG! That’s exactly how I felt around my family and friends. I’m better off alone.
I have CPTSD and when I told my dad while in tears he just laughed and said it was testosterone. Then weeks later he said he had PTSD. Which I do believe he does. I said, yeah, I have an idea of what you're talking about. He said "No, I mean REAL PTSD" Now he wonders why it'll be months and I dont visit even though he's a mile away. No understanding is pretty painful
So many of us with cPTSD compare ourselves to others, thinking "oh, someone else has it worse so it's no big deal". We invalidate and downplay our experiences in order to just survive and keep going.
You're a beautiful person Yasmin, and worthy of healing and happiness! 💜
Absolutely! The fact that some people have it "worse" doesn't mean our pain is less. The same with physical pain - people have different tolerances just as people have different emotional strengths and constitutions (as well as different support levels:( ), we can empathise with others without others having to compare, it serves no purpose. If you're hurting, your pain is valid,full stop.
damn you guys are starting to make me think i have this. good lord, that’s exactly what i say to the tee
Yeah, Because thats what we learn from the world. Thats what we are always told. The constant blame and shame. The constant invalidating. Constant neglect. Constant downplaying. It’s no Big deal. It’s all in your mind. Get it together. Move on. Take a pill.
The harm and total destruction it does to people.
Is so sad and is a disgrace the Way people with a broken mind and soul is treated.
No one would ever treat people with broken bones this Way.
So many people Think they know it all, that they Can imagine it, or read about it to the point of knowing. But, if you have never ever eaten an orange you do not know how an orange taste and Reading about it wont do much. There are things in life you know nothing about....only when you have lived it in your body, mind, soul and life you Will know.
And yet again, even Then our experience wont be the same coz we are all different people.
I needed to hear this tonight. Thank you
People in general diminish Peoples experiences
dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, or any type of phenomena that makes you feel disconnected from your own body and your own consciousness is super annoying to deal with. Yasmin, you're so strong and you're an inspiration to those who also struggle with feeling this way. we're all in this together
It is annoying. I'm so glad that there's more awareness of drealization and depersonalization. A traumatic event 20 years ago brought about constant derealization that persists to this day, and no doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, etc. knew what it was (didn't help that I lived in a rural part of the southeaster US) and most still don't -- but the number of people and healthcare professionals that at least *know what it is* is increasing. Thank you to Yasmin and everyone else out there sharing their story. Indeed, we're all in this together.
@@ChristopherRoberts
Ironically if nothing else helps рsуlосibinе shrооms may help you to reconnect.
I think I have some aspects of derealization and depresonalization to this day. Still healing. (Have been abused since earliest childhood, escaped toxic household 12 years ago)
Drastic changes in my healing and reconnection to true self started to happen after I tried shrооms.
It's not for everybody but yeah, if nothing else works maybe try them.
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
@@user-kr9qv7zl4uPsychadelics gave me dissociation and put me in hospital.
I struggle with people thinking it's funny that I'm jumpy and enjoy scaring me even when I tell them that I don't like that. Anybody else experience this?
Yes, I have experienced it personally and witness several others experience it as well.
Omg. Yes. Yes. I've had boyfriends hug me unexpectedly from behind and I screamed and they laugh. I've been in a car with a friend who was constantly raising his voice and yelling...and after asking him to please stop I punched him in the arm. He didn't realize how shook up I was. It's not funny. At. All. 😑
@@TX-xq6dx If I were driving, I might end up crashing that car! People don't get it.
Ugh yes
yes
I was diagnosed with CPTSD, OCD, ADHD, autism and various anxiety disorders. Currently battling stage four breast cancer. I endured a myriad of traumatic experiences starting at 3 years old and continuing into my early 30s. I finally learned to avoid abusive situations. Therapy helped immensely and I feel like a warrior & a survivor. We are not our trauma and deserve peace, comfort and safety. ❤
I hope you get well!
@pie-eyes Sending love and strength and wishes for good health!!
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
I hope you recover. Praying for you ❤
Im so proud of you fighting and being here today! Praying for your well being and happiness ❤
I just fired my therapist after almost four years after discovering all of this information about CPTSD. I grew up with an emotionally abusive narcissistic alcoholic mother and it has affected me all of my life. I am 68. I never knew what was wrong with me until two days ago when I watched my first video on this disorder. Four years and my therapist never once suggested anything like it. She said I just needed to get out of the house more. Now if I could replace my narcissitic husband with someone who understands and cares I would be in perfect shape. Thanks for sharing your experiences ❤
Chris has another interview with someone diagnosed with CPTSD that was what started my initial journey. I would highly recommend her interview, she seemed a lot better experienced than me!
I know why your therapist did this, it’s because they refrain from diagnosing us so that way we “don’t wallow in the disorder” as if being undiagnosed is so much better. It makes me physically sick and makes my body literally heat up every single time I hear this from someone whose suppose to be helping me with issues, how can you help me if you won’t even address it??
@@lordparoose48 I would ask her, do I have some sort of PTSD or something? and she would shrug her shoulders and tell me I should learn how to play pickle ball so I would meet new people. Everytime I got emotional she would change the subject. $175 per hour wasn't worth the 45 or 50 minutes to actually get into my brain and feelings. I'm very angry because of her ignorance and the four years of my life that i will never get back from J Glass in Cherry Hill NJ, I will say that. Nothing like having to diagnose myself AND my marriage.
@@cadoo5591 I'm sorry this happened to you. Please leave them a review so people know what to expect.
“i feel like i’m not deserving of my own story”… those words resonate with me so deeply. Every time I begin to validate my own feelings about my trauma I invalidate it immediately. It took so long for me to allow myself to accept and claim that I had a traumatic childhood and that it has negatively impacted my life. Thank you for speaking on this important issue Yasmin, you are never alone ❤️
Cptsd makes you feel like you have lived 2 different lives, it’s very hard to manage and work a job let alone live with yourself and your thoughts. I’m thankful to have my mother who is very supportive and keeps me head straight
i'm genuinly jealous you have someone like your mother, i wish anyone in my family showed understanding, but they are the root cause of the issues for me in the first place
It is a lot like living 2 different lives. The way she describes struggling with feeling intense emotions like anger and sadness in the face of a situation where those feelings would normally arise, and then realizing that something must not be right, is very relatable
@@magical571 same here
i feel this, my mum is the reason i’m alive
@@magical571same here
I was SA when I was 6 years old by my adult cousin it really destroy child mind, hugs to all the people who experienced SA as children
Literally same, I was 5 and cousin was 11 (that's a different can of worms, I geuss he counts as a victim bur he did it for a year before my mom discovered it). Hugs to you and you're not alone xx
@@mialeroux2943 At least you get symapthy.
@@mialeroux2943jsyk, there is a term for this (i experienced it too): COCSA (child-on-child SA). it's valid to be hurt that someone did that to you even if they were also a minor or also experiencing abuse themselves or anything like that. it is a complex thing to come to terms with, i hope having a term for it helps.
@@mialeroux2943He's absolutely not the victim! You're allowed to be angry at you abuser no matter his age ❤
Very similar situation. I grew up sexually abused from 5-8 years old by an older sibling, along with growing up with emotionally neglectful/immature parents. I hadn't disclosed my abuse until recently, some 25 years later. For the longest time, I have always felt "different" because I had been exposed to so much more than children should at a young age. I was always "mature" and tried hard never to let any emotions through, which, as I know, now doesn't work well. That's when I finally, at 29, decided I needed to take life into my own hands and went for help. It's been one of the most challenging, heartbreaking processes of my life, but I wouldn't change a thing. During this process, I have recently completed a college degree, and I continue working hard to grow and reparent myself so I can thrive instead of survive.
😱😭 so sorry
❤
I know I'm a stranger but I'm SO proud of you for opening yourself up to get help. I'm SO incredibly proud of you. You are amazing and you have accomplished so much. You are doing great. And in case no one has told you before, what happened wasn't your fault.
Sending you peace and continued healing 🙏 ❤️
@@cheetahtfk7274 I thank you for your kind words!
Thank you for you vulnerability and for being a powerful alchemist. ✨
The "I don't want the bully to feel bad" analogy reminds me of how I used to think, too. That's how people were able to walk over me all the time.
In the end, though, the "bullies" or the people intending to cause you any harm aren't worth your time. It isn't worth feeling bad or sorry for them because they could certainly care less about you.
That line had my jaw on the floor -- it's insane how much I resonate with that, I am SO hesitant to ever express to someone that they've hurt my feelings. I actually feel like I have a whole new set of behaviors to unpack and stay mindful about now.
I want them to feel bad.
Das klingt ein wenig nach Stockholm Syndrom. 🤔
The catastrophizing is a big issue for me as well. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, GAD and social anxiety. And every time something bad happens to me (an argument usually), the first thing my mind goes to is "I don't want to be here anymore, I'm a burden to everyone around me, they'd be happier without me" etc. And these thoughts just won't stop until the issue is resolved.
I was abused for 20 years of my life so it is quite hard to "rewire" my brain. I am getting treatment but there are times when I feel like I'll never be able to put my past behind me and live a normal life..
yes you can yes you can, you can live and deserve to live a life where you experience happiness and love.
Totally understand, I have CPTSD Gad & social anxiety too, im still in therapy, the way we feel i feel will never end, I will never be normal or worthy, you feel everything is your fault, its crippling to be this way, I tell myself I will be ok one day this keeps me going
I could've written this. Thank you for sharing your experience; it helps a bit just feeling less alone.
As another traumatised person I know what it's like to be this cheerful person and not confront your trauma. It's a way to survive but you have to accept that all those negative feelings you hold inside you are just as important as your positive side.
❤❤
Yeah, the boyfriend's approval of her bubbly behaviour is enabling her false self. Hopefully he can equally validate the side of her that she brings when processing
I have CPTSD and I related to EVERY single thing she said. Yasmin thank you, for making me feel less alone. I’ve always been seen as a ball of optimistic energy, “the happy friend”, but inside my trauma has crippled me my whole life. Im turning 26 soon as well so we’re even the same age. There was not a single thing you said that I couldn’t relate to. I’m glad you are here and fighting, I’m glad you also have someone who loves you. My relationships anniversary is coming up to its 3 year mark next week (even have that in common). He’s helped me so much. I found myself shutting down in dark rooms wallowing as well but it’s nice to know someone’s there to listen to me and love me for all of me as well. WE DESERVE IT! YOU deserve it Yasmin. Sending you so much love.
Hi it’s Yasmin from the video!! Are we twins??? It’s crazy how much we have in common! But thank you so so so much for taking the time to comment! WE CAN DO THIS 😤😤 I hope you have an amazing week and sending you lots of love ❤️❤️
@@FUN2SEE100 I know right?! I hope you are having an amazing week as well! I’m gonna follow you on insta, if you ever wanna chat (we have so much in common) I’m always here friend! 💖
hello, I just wanted to say that same. i relate to absolutely everything she's saying and discovering how not alone i am is relieving. Even though it's sad to know that people lived things that are as hard as i lived or even harder. we're never gonna be alone and as someone who constantly dissociate, figuring this out is SO HARD.
Same! I'm 28 with CPTSD from multiple traumatic incidents in my life... But I've always been very sociable, a ball of energy and funny AF! I even use my dark humor as a coping mechanism, but I do it in regards to myself never towards someone else to make them feel uncomfortable because everyone experiences trauma differently!... But for example like being a recovering addict I call myself "that toothless crackhead" even though I'm in recovery (for 5 years now) and didn't start losing my teeth until I got pregnant with my second child, my daughter (this is my husband's count by the way lol). 😅 Just basically picking on myself but not because I feel insecure, because I'm extremely confident in the skin I'm In overall but it is most definitely a means to cope and it helps me to laugh more than to cry.
Sending love 💕 and hugs ! Never felt so seen in my life
i really appreciated carlos mentioning how no one would guess yasmin is dealing with cptsd. so often ppl’s struggles go unnoticed bc they’re harder to see! you never know what the people around you are going through ❤
I didn’t realize my SA was SA until like 10 years later and being like … wait that’s not normal? I relate so much to all of this
Me too!! I experienced SA at the hands of my high school boyfriend and I didn’t realize that’s what it was until I was in my mid 20s. Unfortunately things are just so normalized and because it wasn’t a violent SA like you see on tv that left me immediately traumatized, I never realized what it was.
Dude I had the same realization 😢
I didn’t realise my I experienced SA until way later cuz I didn’t think it counted
YESS!! It took me well into my adult years to realize that I was experiencing things that wasn’t normal but because it felt good (and my mom was my biggest bully), I just went with it 💔
It's been about 15 years for me and I still don't know if it was SA, my fault, or if I just don't want to admit to myself that it might have been SA
Yasmin and her partner have such a beautiful connection! The way they look at each other... it's so good that they found each other
Yasmín, you’re fortunate to have a partner who is willing to try to understand. Ever single man I’ve been with takes advantage of it, uses it to cast blame on me, etc. It’s so hard to overcome like that. It only reinforces the dissociation.
Don’t give up on love! I had a lot of toxic friends, and there was a point where I felt like there was no escape. The more I healed, the more i ran into kind people who were ready to be there for me even during rough times. It’s all about learning to love yourself first.
As someone with c-ptsd myself, I found love by learning my own worth, and being very strict with my boundaries. The second you see that behavior begin, you have to trust your instincts, know your worth, and explain to your partners that you will not allow them to treat you as less-than. And follow through with leaving if they continue!
Being alone, especially with a condition like c-ptsd, is very hard. But I think being alone, learning to respect myself(not always LOVING myself per se, but liking myself enough to accept who I am), and become more aware of these things helped me become able to stand up for myself in those types of situations.
I know your comment is almost half a year old, but I hope you know that other people taking advantage of you is not your fault, and you don't deserve to be treated that way. And I know my advice is unsolicited, but I hope it can help you in some way. I'm currently in a relationship 8 years strong and this is what helped me find someone who treats me with the respect I deserve.
You have to learn to love yourself first, period! If we don't, then how can we expect anyone else to?
Check out ways to raise your self esteem and work on that on a daily basis.
Like the others said you deserve love! Toxic people will manipulate and take advantage of people with trauma. People with trauma can attract toxic people, but you can take these people as lessons to spot red flags in future people. You need to learn your boundries and how to set them. If someone hurts you then they get the consquence of not getting your time or attention.
Every single woman I’ve been with (as a lesbian with pretty bad bpd with these exasperated because of these relationships) has done that to me too. Made everything worse, they always leave more damage than before they even came along.
Being in a relationship with someone like her can be a very intense experience. One of the most important things can be to realize that they often need reassurance that they are still loved if there is a disagreement or argument, even if you've said it a thousand times before, say it again! Looks like she's in good hands.
I've been so moved by many SBSK videos over the years. I have learned so much about different experiences and backgrounds.
I never thought I'd see myself reflected so earnestly and compassionately in one of your videos. This same struggle has been my struggle.
And my joy.
Because I experinced such a dark violation, the liberation I have worked so incredibly hard for shines more brilliantly than I could ever imagine. Thank you so much for sharing and inspiring, Yasmin.
Joy itself is an act of resistance. May we all fight on.
It’s so interesting that the moment that turned her to think like a people pleaser was her mom projecting her own fear of “what are we gonna tell your father” when that was never her burden to carry as a child.
When she talks about her feelings concerning her partner having to deal with her conditions really hit me hard. I'm Autistic (officially diagnosed 7 months ago) and I also have cPTSD w/dissociation and that struggle is SO REAL the catastrophic thinking becomes so overwhelming that I can't possibly fathom how my partner can handle me during my worst moments. But he loves me so much and I know her partner loves and supports her so much too. I'm so glad she shared her story 💗
You're a woman so he'll stay with you regardless.
Not the same if you're a man though.
I suffered 18 years of psychological, physical, and emotional abuse. It’s only through therapy that I realised what happened to me was wrong. CPTSD has ruined my life.
I am 56 and am only just realising how much this has effected my life. CPTSD with disociation.
I feel you. It's ruined my life too. I ended up being a high functioning heroin addict to cope so now I'm dealing with that too. I'm pissed and wonder how different my life would have been and what I could have accomplished if I grew up in a healthy environment.
"I feel like I'm not deserving of my own story" 💔
Oh god, this story hits too close to home.
I felt trapped when it happened to me, my abuser was a close family member and I felt like I couldn't tell anyone, which I didn't for many years after he passed.
I've recognised in what she's said a lot of effects that that trauma had/has on me.
I'm much older than her and I've had more time to work through it but she can talk about it in front of a camera without breaking up into tears, which I definitely couldn't do at her age, and she has a lot of support from people who love her so, I'm sure she'll become even a stronger woman.
She's a fighter, she's definitely on the right path
FINALLY!!!!!! Someone like me. I've cried listening to her understanding every word and feeling.
As a CPTSD and molestation survivor I salute you and appreciate you letting him pick your brain/ you speak freely, and your boyfriend as well. So often they give us diagnosis without very much explanation ( at least for me) these kinds of videos help me understand my ptsd more. Thanks. Wish you luck and wellness.
Yasmin both my husband and I went through what you did. Childhood traumas trend to stay with us. But it gets better. It really does
Ps. When my mental health would take a toll on my education and i had to reveal it to my teachers several of them would say "but you are always laughing with your friends, you don't look depressed at all!"
Does it?
@@Siriuslyyy people tell me all the time that I seem to normal or "happy" to be mentally ill but they don't know what's going on inside my head
@@skankhunt-sf1to yes... Sometimes we still get difficult days, but with time it has been much easier. Specially after finding love that can be trusted fully, it's been so much better!
Hi it’s Yasmin from the video!! Thank you for sharing, it really brings me hope that with time, I can improve. I also went through the same thing of telling others how I felt, and their response being “but you’re so happy!!” It’s…frustrating to say the least. But it makes me happy that there are others experiencing the same thing. Thank you for taking the time to comment!! Wishing you and your husband all the best 🤍
Thank you, Carlos, for being the person that Yasmin needs. We need to fill the world with men like you.
The real-men have to step up, yes. Every single woman she talked to shared a story back. This affects everyone, even if they don't know it yet.
So heartbreaking. To think that this is something that happens to a lot of children makes me literally violent angry. Truly happy she has the support of a loving partner 👊🧡👍
The anger is a healthy reaction. This affects the whole society, just differently. Thank you for being alert.
something very similar happened to me as a child and i‘m taking this as a reminder to finally have the courage to go seek out therapy instead of ignoring my trauma. thank you for sharing your story yasmin! wishing you and your boyfriend the best
Although my childhood traumas are very different from her's, I can definitely relate with the feeling that my story isn't as bad because of the trauma my friends went through in their childhoods and because I had a mostly happy childhood I must not have trauma, along with struggling with dissociation up into adult hood that started as a coping mechanism for dealing with my anxiety. No matter what your story is or how much worse you think others have it, your story is just as valid, you are allowed to be upset about the things you went through, and there will always be someone who will listen to you and believe you. Being a happy person doesn't mean ignoring your pain, being able to recognize and identify where your pain stems from will help you to become a more conscious and confident person.
Yasmin, as soon as I saw you I thought "wow she looks familiar". I went to an international school in Lagos myself and I'm so grateful for you doing this video. I also have C-PTSD but no one but my doctor truly knows how I am affected. The fact that you've gone through something similar and been able to share gives me hope that maybe one day I will have the strength to share with my loved ones, my boyfriend is so so caring but I don't even feel comfortable sharing with him. It is the shame, the hurt my parents will feel for me that is really holding me back from telling them, I don't want to break their hearts. I'm a really cheerful person but the anxiety can be so overwhelming, the thoughts, it's a lot. Also, to add in Nigeria, it's very common to have nannies in that society - it's not seen the same as in the western world. For me, it was my cousin that took away my own innocence when I was between the ages of 9-11, I can't remember exactly what age. I completely blocked out my pain, my trauma but I started getting flashbacks at 16. The same way you started feeling different at 16. I am on the verge of tears typing this but my God, I feel so seen. Someone like me, from Lagos as well. Ah Yasmin, thank you thank you thank you
I have the same diagnoses. I'm glad she's able to talk about her experiences, but, much more than that, I'm glad she has Carlos. You can _see_ what he means to her, how much he's helped her, by her reaction to him. As he said, she has no poker face. You can _see_ her entire body loosen and lighten when he's near. I hope he understands what a gift that is, to be able to give someone dealing with all those the gift of hope and the gift of someone to trust and love.
This is my partner to a tee, both me & her have autism I was trying hard not to cry at this video as it hit home she went through a similar situation but with her bio dad (won’t go into detail), she now lives we’re adopted family and biological siblings and now has me a caring boyfriend who is the same as Carlos and wouldn’t change her for the world
I have CPTSD and I dissociate a lot, and I also have intrusive thoughts that keep me from being decisive. This is the worst because it happens randomly, and I wish I knew why it triggers in me so much to do that, but sometimes I don't even feel like i'm human.
Hi it’s Yasmin from the video!! I completely relate to what you wrote! Even now, there are moments where I question my own existence. But we’re alive, and yes, we are human. How we experience life is the twisted beauty of humanity. With practice, love, and time, things can slowly change and you will slowly feel control of your mind. Wishing you all the best in your journey 🤍🤍
@@FUN2SEE100 Thank you so much, it's been such a long time since I've heard such good advice honestly. I've fumbled so many times in life and I really appreciate the kindness you've given me by replying. Likewise!
Same. It's mainly cause my dad was verbally and physically abusive. I became super withdrawn and i would dissaciate whenever i'm arround people because I can't communicate. It's a shitty crule thing to have.
Same. Really struggle making decisions. CPTSD with dissociation. Very tough to function and trust.
I dont want people to feel bad about making me feel bad! That is me. I'm slowly getting better with it.
I have CPTSD. I haven't had SA, but I've had a lot of emotional abuse and many serious life traumas. Sometimes I forget about "what" I have, because it's just me. I know of no other way to be. And, i have a lot of stuff at work within me. - I have no self esteem, I don't believe I'm loveable, people aren't there for me even when I explain I just need belonging. I AM there for others, and people seen to appreciate it. I don't get that in return, so the loop continues where I'm not good enough, not loveable, not wanted. Covid exacerbated it because it's been really easy for people to not bother with me. I can call only so often. (this isn't a "poor me".)
Hi it’s Yasmin from the video! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m sorry you feel a lack of effort when you yourself seem to give a lot. This is just my advice so please, don’t take any offense. But I would suggest taking sometimes to yourself. When I was 21, I decided to come out of the depressive shell I was in for a year and cut ties with the people that drained me. It was hard, especially for me, but I needed. I spent the next two years only spending time with myself and learning who I was without the pressures of others. And from that, I learned who my real friends were. I needed people (2, who are my best friends to this day) who accepted me for who I was and invested in and valued our relationship like I did. It takes time. And unfortunately a little heart break. But once you find those people in your life, you’ll learn what it’s like to have a healthy relationship, and you’ll grow so much because of it. If it weren’t for my friends (and now my partner), I would have remained in the same cycles that limited me. The key is to break the cycle, don’t fix it!! Anyways, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble on. I just really related to what you said. I’m wishing you well and hope you have an amazing week ❤️
@@FUN2SEE100 thanks, Yasmin. I think I burned people out,and they couldn't handle it. Long story short, although everyone lives in town, my siblings and I don't get along. We are all middle aged, between ages 57 & 69. Until my sister died from a brain tumor last year, there were 6 of us kids. 1.5 years ago I learned I have Asperger's, which was a relief dx. I had an explanation for many things in my life. Also, from the time I was 36 until age 60, I was a 24/7 parental caregiver. I worked full time as well. Ironically, listening to your story, which just showed randomly in my feed, I realized that the caregiving is part of the CPTSD as well as lifelong emotional trauma & bullying. Hadn't thought of the caregiving as trauma, but it was the absolute hardest thing I've ever done. I was able to keep my parents home through both of their deaths. And then the surprise dx of my sister's tumor last year, and I sat with her several afternoons per week so my bil could do errands and work from home uninterrupted. Never thought that would be what I did in my life.
@@maryhazlett I must commend you for all the work you’ve done for others. While it might have been a coping mechanism, it was a selfless act nonetheless. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are now!! I hope that you’re able to take the time for yourself and your mental. I’m wishing you all the best! 🤍
@@FUN2SEE100 thank you!
I got diagnosed with cptsd (also major depressive disorder and general anxiety) and this is the most relatable videos Ive ever watched, there is so little documented about it, I dont feel like anyone round me takes the time to even try to understand it. You are such an inspiration xx
This is uncanny to my own life. Uncanny. This resonated with me in every way. I was diagnosed with the same diagnoses a year ago. 30 year old mom focusing on teaching my kids how much their bodies and their thoughts matter. I am so proud of the strength here. Saying you're not deserving of your own story rocked my world. Same.
Hi it’s Yasmin from the video! You sound like an amazing mother. Just the two lessons alone are those I wish I had that I unfortunately learned in my early 20s. Kuddos to you for putting in that work, not only on your kids, but on yourself. It’s not easy doing either. You got this mama 😤 Wishing all the very best in your journey, have a wonderful rest of your week 🤍 ALSO YOU ARE DESERVING OF YOUR STORY! YOU ARE VALID!! All that preaching you tell your kids??? Yeah, time to start saying them to yourself in your mirror. You’re amazing, and you’re doing a fantastic job.
They make an adorable couple and it's good that they have each other through her dark times.
It's so interesting how her partner is smiling almost the entire time. Even when he says really difficult things. That smile. Shows how hard this is for him as well. But they are a beautiful team. And life is hard. And they will help each other!
I‘m so sorry Yasmin. We basically have the same diagnosis. It’s a lifelong struggle, but it will get better. I was in therapy for 8 years, from the age of 41 to 49. Up until then I just struggled without help, thinking I was going insane at times, living with daily panic attacks. Therapy basically saved my life.
Thankyou for this video. I was SA when I was 3-5 years old and I told my parents when I was 17. They didn’t respond well and turned their anger on me. I started crying when I saw your relationship with Carlos because it feels impossible for me to trust someone like that. I am okay now because I went to therapy for 3 years. I disassociated during my trauma because my child brain could not handle it, and I’m processing that experience now that I can which is why my emotions are so strong. I wicked so hard the earth would just absorb me into it so I can have relief from living with everything I went through. I relate so much to not telling people they made you feel bad because you don’t want them to feel bad, and I realized because of this video I started doing that because I was abused. So anyone who has experienced this, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! I never thought I would live past 20 and I now have. There is help out there. Therapy saved my life. Dealing with my abuse is the hardest thing I have done and I hope I will never have to recover from SA again, but it is possible to feel better. It is possible to feel good about yourself, or even just okay with yourself.
OMG, I have never seen anyone that has gone through the same thing as me, during the same age, and having similar symptoms. Weirdly, it's so comforting. Now I know what I'm going through is real and I'm not faking or exaggerating this. Thank you so much
I have PTSD and depression, and I'm going to get screened for ADHD at some point. I underwent open-heart surgery at age 3, and it's not something that I usually feel comfortable sharing, but after watching this interview, I feel like it's okay to acknowledge my struggles and my past with others. Thank you, Yasmin, for sharing your story and for giving me the courage to do the same with my friends and family.
i have CPTSD.
Was medicated for a bit.
I think it's ruined a few relationships. Both the CPTSD and the meds (not on the meds anymore)
Now I'm a single dad with priorites. My son comes first, then work, then exercise. In that order.
🙌
@@nfergistink110 What is that?
@@timtrainage high fives x
😀
Where’s their mom?
psilocybin mushrooms therapy is beneficial in relieving symptoms of treatment- resistant depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and other mental health disorders.
The experience I got from taking shrooms as a whole was spectacular, I felt completely supported.
If you are looking to treat symptoms of a mental health condition I'd recommend psychedelics.
Been looking to try shrooms
how do you get yours ?
dr.garyshrooms
He's on
1nsta
I have lived my entire life with disassociate behaviors, present time in a peak of it. People around me who are aware know key things they might say triggers it harder and so they try hard. It's difficult now after 40 years of it to not let it happen more and unfortunately some times things try to creep back. Keep strong and close people around you my dear friend
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
@@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEUYes, dr.sporesss
@@eddiejohn8506Is he on instagram?
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@@eddiejohn8506Does dr.sporesss ship?
I am 23 and also have Complex PTSD and constant maladaptive daydreams (a type of dissociation), so thank you SO, so, so much for this video.
I am 45 and just now being able to acknowledge that the abuse I experienced was "a big deal". I'm still in the middle of acceptance. Everything, EVERYTHING, you said, I feel so much!!! It still feels like I'm making a big deal about nothing. Hearing you explain your internal experience and process helps me feel more sane. Everything you said. ❤️ Thank you!
thank you for bringing more awareness to the lesser known counterpart of post traumatic stress: CPTSD. i’ve been diagnosed for 6 yrs.
it is always so educational to observe how this brain altering condition affects others.. but it is always empowering to see us all overcome
Wow, I have the same diagnosis, it's fairly rare to have nearly permanent disassociation. Nice to know I'm not alone.
You're not. (Un)fortunately there are a lot of us.
Hey I'm really curious if I could have traumatic experience because I'm 24/7 in DPDR. Anyone wanna talk?
@@nikodemwarzocha2513 That’s very possible since depersonalization or disassociation is usually form trauma.
I use to have chronic disassociation for years. It was dangerous. I’m finally out of that now and I’m hoping the best for everyone. You’re not alone. ❤ I still have CPTSD but it’s better now.
@@lucfierslight hi what does that feel and look like?
I am 43 and have been diagnosed with the same 4 diagnosis. Mine was a family member and unfortunately they are still in my life. He went to jail for 10 years but unfortunately the person who means the world to me let him back in. It's trauma everyday but I, myself even can't seem to break the chain to my favorite person and she loves me the same. It's so complicated and unfair.
I know how you feel. I had to look at my abusers pretty much every day and watch them enjoy their happy little lives while meanwhile I'm dying inside because no one believes me
Just me here.
I am so outraged at my main abuser that I want to k1ll him. Strongly.
So I don't go anywhere near him, because I don't want to end up on death row.
...I am fortunate that my family respects my wishes and doesn't bring him up.
@@skankhunt-sf1to I feel exactly the same. No peace.
You are not alone, I’ve been through something similar. all he got was a slap on the hand and then his life went on like nothing had happened. And I had to deal with the shame that should have been on him.
@@theresalinden3797 Evil has no shame. They will never be repentant. That's why they're evil.
this is so sad :/ but I’m glad she seems like she has managed to cope as well as she has. She seems great.
So many of us have CPTSD. Her boyfriend is a really decent understanding guy. Many people are not this way.
She's really great ❤️
Yasmin, you and Carlos both look absolutely enamored with each other. You are so beautiful together. It's obvious and extreme. It is so good to see.
So very sad for this beautiful girl being traumatized. And so many are that it is normal. I am Norwegian and in the viking laws if some girl was raped, a huge sum of money was given to the victim and the criminal also had to lay with his life very often. The law was very protective and strict and gave girls a status and dignety as that of men. A man that did not protect a girl or a woman was an outcast, a dead man. That part of being a viking I like and many other part of their culture. TX for sharing❤
I feel a tad alone hearing someone else with CPTSD. It is emotionally exhausting. I am just tired of it. Thanks for sharing your story
THANK YOU CHRIS!!
I HAVE C-PTSD I also have major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I must say having complex PTSD for me has been absolutely the most difficult painful thing I have ever had to deal with on a continual basis. I grew up in a family that was extremely abusive and I was chosen, they call it the scapegoat that was my role in my family system. So everything was blamed on me. I had a lot of trauma a lot of abuse and the wounds don't disappear for good. I've been in therapy for so many years doing so many different kinds of therapy just to try to be somewhat able to handle what's going on inside of me and nothing can cure these kind of wounds. I just want to say that I am 64 years old and I still have Meltdowns. I would describe the meltdowns as when I feel overwhelmed which is a lot of the time I just cannot get calm or look at it rationally. my emotions get so dysregulated that I have a meltdown where I'm crying and screaming and I can't take the amount of emotion that's causing me so much distress. I have a Service Dog who helps me with these meltdowns and other things pertaining to the complex PTSD. And just in case people did not understand the difference of PTSD and complex PTSD, with complex PTSD you are being traumatized over a long period Of time, it could be a very long period Of time. And with regular PTSD it's normally an event or one or two events that stick out as absolutely traumatic. Chris thank you so much I've been waiting for this for so long I even recommended that you make a video with someone who has complex PTSD. Because, in my situation it has affected even my physical health to the point where now I am basically bed-bound in chronic pain and mostly disabled. Bless you Yasmine. I too would love to have other people that have complex PTSD around or on the phone whatever so we could share our experiences and not feel so out of place. Blessings to all.❤️🩹
First, thank you so so much for sharing your story! While I know you’re still struggling, I’m glad that your service dog is able to provide you with support during your meltdowns. It helps to not be alone during those moments. And having someone listening, even if they can’t respond (or talk) is more than enough. I’m so sorry that your trauma has made you bed bound. Please, if you’re comfortable with it, I would love to hear more about you and your story!! I relate completely to being the scapegoat of the family. To this day, it seems like I continue to hold that role. But you’re 64 and you’re still here!! That is amazing and good work on all the work you’ve done to get to where you are today. I’m wishing you all the best and sending you all the love I have ❤️❤️ Have a beautiful week ☺️
I should add that this is Yasmin from the video!! Sorry for not introducing myself first, I just had to respond to you right away!
@@FUN2SEE100 Yasmin Hi!!!
I cannot tell you how loving how compassionate and encouraging your reply to me was. I started crying when I read your reply to me. At this second I don't know what to say I just feel like what an amazing human being you are to reach out and touch base with me and let me know that you are supportive and that you are understanding about my service dog and meltdowns etc. what I want to say now is I would love if we could find a way to communicate with each other. I know I'm a lot older than you but I've been dealing with complex PTSD for a very long time and as I have said in my comment it definitely does take a toll on the body. There's a book it's called, the body keeps the score, it's a heavy book and I just really didn't like reading it but the title is just what's the truth. When we go through extreme trauma our brain doesn't develop like a neurotypical brain develops so we're neurodiverse. And I know a lot of people over the years that have very traumatic backgrounds like I did and they are sick too they have chronic fatigue syndrome like I do, they get different problems and the reason I'm bed bound is because now I'm just in so much pain and with the c-ptsd I get overwhelmed very easily. I wanted to ask you do you get overwhelmed very easily? Also do you find it hard to deal with a lot of stimulation? As for me if it's too many people around and talking and noises it just overwhelms me and overstimulates my brain. Also I really related to what you said about emotional dysregulation. That's a big problem. I know for me having complex PTSD my emotions are so strong and it's like I don't have any insulation around me it's like all raw and I've been to years and years of cognitive therapy to help me deal with how I look at things how I perceive things but I must say that this has very deep roots for me and although I have healed a lot there are some wounds that I believe do not get healed this time around. Don't get discouraged that's just for me. Yasmin are you in therapy at all or do you do any kind of emotional work to help you stay regulated and taking good care of yourself stuff like that.? I am amazed by your boyfriend he just seems so loving so understanding and he doesn't push you hard which is wonderful. Again I could go on and on Yasmin by that reply that you left me.. I would love if it's an interest to you to be able to communicate with each other because I think it's important to have encouragement and understanding from people that have the same kind of challenges. I would love to know more what you go through with your cptsd. I enjoyed the interview with Chris but I just know that for you there are other things you're probably dealing with and it couldn't all be out in one video. Please if you feel like it keep in touch and let me know if there's a way that we could maybe talk with each other. I am an upbeat person and I'm not a drag or a drain of energy type person. So I feel it would be really cool to reach out and be able to connect. let me know what you think.
This is so relatable. I wish her interview could have went twice as long because she has so many things of substance to say. I think her story will help a lot of other people who have experienced the same thing, and I agree, there is no one I have shared my story with who doesn’t have one too.
I empathize so much with her, I didn't experience something as horrible as she did but I had my own thing growing up which shaped how I view myself and my relations to other people and every single thing she is saying hits home.
I hope everyone who has a supportive significant other hangs on to them, they are so rare.
This is perfectly timed and I teared up when I read the title. I struggle with the same thing 😭 I never feel present and it’s so hard when you’re still in the same environment that traumatized you. The pandemic made it impossible for me to move, but hopefully I’ll be able to do so in the next few months! I’ve been trying to “stay positive” in the environment I’m in, but I’ve slowly felt myself being beaten down day by day. Fighting your own mind and having to deal with the outside world is exhausting. You need supports, but it’s hard to create them and to connect when you aren’t really present. I’ve been in therapy since I was 16. I’m tired.
Hi.
Love yourself.
Never lose hope.
You can do this...
💖
The hardest part of having C-PTSD, for me at least, is going through trauma specific therapy and not knowing which trauma to focus on, because I have so many throughout my 40 some years. But I love the analogy my therapist said to me when I had no idea which trauma experience to start with. Basically, my life is 1 big tree, maybe a Giant Redwood tree, and where PTSD is 1 branch, my C-PTSD is like 20 branches. Or maybe instead of 1 tree is an entire forest of Redwoods, and I just have to group together the trees related to trauma. And either cut them down or water them. I'm a visual thinker, so this helped me a ton.
8:00 I feel exactly this way too. Trauma is so hard and it makes us think the worst of ourselves. But no one’s trauma is worse or better than anyone else’s. ❤
Thank you for sharing about CPTSD. I have a friend with this diagnosis, originating from childhood SA. Decades later, she still often withdraws. Sometimes for months at a time. This video helped give me some insight into what my friend may be feeling at times, but is unable to articulate herself.
I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years.
With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean.
Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episodeenough to start working on my mental health
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need
Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
The shroom experience stands as my most remarkable journey, an awe-inspiring encounter that left an indelible mark of amazement.
He’s on insta?
She's such a sweet person sorry she has to experience this but she's handling it really well
This video is such a revelation for me... everything she says and experienced could be straight out from my own mouth. This feels so incredibly validating because I've suspected for a long time that I have CPTSD due to several bad things happening in my life in the past. Yet I've always felt weird about my lack of emotion about these things. I got pretty debilitating anxiety and phobias plus depression at times... but struggle a lot with expressing and processing emotions such as anger and sadness, just like Yasmin. While at the same time I have this other side to me that's outwardly totally fine and happy and stable and no one could probably guess what's really going on and it feels like such a weird split between the two while at the same time they're obviously coexisting. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story in this video Yasmin... I didn't expect it to resonate this deeply. 🧡
Watching this and hearing Yasmin's story is like reality giving me a huge slap in the face.
When she was saying about how she would describe her experiences as "not being a big deal," that's when it really clicked for me how stuck I am in distorted thought patterns. That how I think/feel about what I experienced isn't healthy at all.
This describes my boyfriend to a T. I have never heard of a video so similar to his story. This has made me feel differently about how he copes with things. I am amazed of how strong people are. I survived SA too but not as a child. Life is so complex when handling trauma.
I have C-PTSD too (not from SA). Thanks for sharing your story. So much if it was relatable.
2 big things helped me with my own trauma:
1. Rapid eye movement therapy. It helped my nervous system not react so much to triggers.
2. Forgiving myself for dissociating. I felt like I missed out on so much of my life and was angry at my brain for it; my brain was doing what it could to protect me from worse damage.
How did you forgive yourself from dissasociating?
@hectorg362 It was a combination of things that I suspect would vary by person. A big part of it for me was running across a fictional character in a book that clearly had dissociative identity disorder (I've never gotten to that point) and realizing some of her coping strategies were uncomfortably close to my own). I had not realized how much of my day-to-day existence was still at least somewhat dissociated. I could, however, see why that character's brain coped that way, and that gave me the beginnings of self-compassion for my own brain/experiences.
I tried thinking of what may have happened if my brain hadn't reacted in the way it did. It probably helped that I have a sibling whose brain reacted differently and ended up getting into a lot of trouble, had really unhealthy relationships, and was pretty consistently suicidal until at least their mid-30s, so I can see some of what would likely have happened as a result of not dissociating.
Then, with a bit of therapy, I learned to think, "Thanks brain for doing what you needed to do to get me through that bad time, but those coping mechanisms or no longer serving me so it is time to let them go."
Forgiveness doesn't happen overnight, but consciously trying to use compassionate language towards yourself and your brain's reactions towards trauma is probably a good place to start.
Your brain was doing the best it could in whatever traumatic circumstances you experienced. It kept you alive and (potentially) in better shape than had it not reacted that way. Now, you have a chance to heal and get back to being more present in life (if you haven't gotten there already).
For how long were you dissociating?
@ALGARIC My dissociation was mostly a constant separation from my feelings, like floating outside of my body, aware of what my body was feeling, but those feelings weren't in me. I was watching myself live life, not living it myself. I was in that pretty much full-time from age 11 until I left for university at 18. I had a difficult childhood and that is how my body dealt with it until I could get out. It still took another 2 or so years before I felt happiness and sadness within myself, and honestly, until mid-20s to feel like I was the one living my life.
I didn't do rapid eye movement until my early 30s, and working with that therapist, I found out I was still somewhat dissociated. So, from not living my own life to pretty much not dissociating at all, it was 20 years.
I do have periods of time that I also don't remember what happened, but I don't know how long those periods were.
As a Nigerian, born in Lagos PTSD is real...unrelated but related I wonder if other very populated countries experience such an unhealthy amount of stress that u feel so attached to. I am sorry u have to go through that
I was just wondering this. I felt so weirdly related to this girl's story, it's like she's saying what I feel... except for the fact that I've never been abused. But I'm from Mexico and violence is so normalized, there's so much danger and stress all the time, that I'm wondering what sort of other traumas I've packed in there from situations in my environment
Same thing happens in Argentina. It's very sad.
I'm from Finland and I have c-ptsd from my family so it happens everywhere!
@@you-vi2tm not everywhere
@@Proxuius people are abused everywhere sadly
Thank you, Yasmin. I relate very much to what you’re saying. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through and the pain it causes you today. I’m on a healing journey…. I needed to see this tonight. Thank you for your courage to use your voice and share your story💜
this really helped me. i relate so much to everything you said. i cried because i have never had someone describe exactly what i feel everyday. i don’t even have the words to articulate it myself. thank you for sharing.
you are seen, you are heard, you are loved. thank you for your existence 🤍
reading through all the people in the comments sharing their story... Thank you for sharing
Hearing you speak your truth, Yasmine, truly is relatable. Thank you. Beyond words.
This video brought me to tears so many times. I have never related to a video more than this one. I cannot explain how thankful I am that this video was made
I'm so sorry you went through that. Thank you for sharing your story. It's so important to educate young children about their bodies so they can tell an adult they trust if something happens to them because, unfortunately, many never do.
As a woman past my mid-sixties, Jasmine and her story make me so, so happy. For so many of us, it's been decades in that awful state of not understanding ourselves, why we do the things we do, or what to do about it so that we can lead better, happier lives. I'm very thankful to be finding answers now but I will always have sorrow about the people I've unintentionally hurt along the way. Jasmine, you are a delight. I have great expectations for your happy future.
You have given me so much to think about. Thank you for your honesty, I'm sure this talk will help others that are getting through childhood trauma. You are a beautiful person and I hope you continue to grow and thrive with confidence.
I have been a huge fan of this channel for years, thank you for all the awareness you bring!
It’s so sweet to see how smitten they are with each other. I’m glad they found each other 🥹
As a father, I would have wanted to know, but I understand the concern of what he might do.
I definitely would have gone wild.
Hi it’s Yasmin from the video! Honestly, thank you for this perspective. Really, I feel like I needed to hear this. My father still doesn’t know and I have a lot of fear in sharing this side about me. I’m not sure if it’s a mix of his reaction or his pain from hearing it. I just don’t want him to hurt from this, or be upset that he didn’t know. He’s the daddy’s girl type so I know it’ll be hard for him. Sorry to vent, I just really hadn’t considered his perspective on the matter. Thank you for taking the time to comment, I wish you all the best 🤍
@@FUN2SEE100 I think the main issue for a father finding out much later is the potential guilt of not being able to help.
I obviously can't speak for him, but I wouldn't be hurt so much by you, but more upset at the situation and not being able to have done anything.
I don't know him, but I think most fathers would have done something pretty drastic in the moment, so you might have been right to have withhold it in the moment, but at some point he maybe should have known. The problem with situations like this is there's no right answer! You just have to feel it out and do your best.
The only issue with telling him now is you have to weigh if it really does anything for him to know at this point. It might be a heavy thing to drop after all this time. I think it depends on your relationship with him and if you think it would help. Maybe it would help him understand you more, your quirks/etc?
It's definitely a tricky situation and it really sucks you have to deal with it, but you seem like you have the perfect spirit and resolve to deal with things as best as any of us could. You seem like beautiful soul and a positive force in the world. Your family and friends are lucky to have you.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. We all need to encourage one another to get the help we need when we need it, without any judgement, only support!
I just want to say thank you for your bravery, and sharing with us. Both of you. And thank you SBSK for your great work.
I'm so so thankful for this video. Every single point Yasmin hits on, I feel the EXACT same way. This is kind of a relief.
I'm going through a similar diagnosis and I really needed to hear this, her story, today. Thank you Yasmin, thank you SBSK. Just. Thank you
Yasmin. Thank you for making this video it’s so similar to my story I felt tears of joy that it was as if someone else wrote down my thoughts. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for also reaching out and teaching me things.
I relate so much to her symptoms.
Thankyou for sharing your story Jasmine. Your light shines bright and wish you all the best for the future.
💫💫💫
Yasmin, you have put words to so many of my thoughts as I too battle cPTDS . Thank you for being able to speak so eloquently about your experience. I'm so sorry you had to go through SA.
I'm pretty sure I have complex PTSD but it isn't really recognised as a diagnosis in my country yet :/ Thank you for sharing your story Yasmin!
Really sad how even today the mental health "industry" is failing people in every country in some way...
@@RainRemnant That's not why is isn't recognized. SMH
Hi it’s Yasmin from the video! First, thank you for sharing your story! I just wanted to say that CPTSD is technically not recognized in the US. I would have to use the PTSD diagnosis. Depending on where you live, that should be enough for insurance. Regardless, I’m wishing you well!!
@@RainRemnant unfortunately the industry has a hard time defining and treating trauma. I agree that a lot more can be done to fix this
@@FUN2SEE100 There really is no conspiracy theory behind this one. It is simply that the Researcher who promoted this diagnosis lost credibility with his behavior AFTER it was accepted as a diagnosis in other countries. The guy started promoting woo instead of good science. This happened before the DSMV was released. It was caution (rightly so) from the Doctors working on the updates. With the added research by much more stable and respected researchers, it will likely make it into the DSM VI. With his behavior the last few years, the caution was warranted. And as you say, there is no harm from this caution since all are still have treatment covered under the PTSD diagnosis.
Optimistic because we survived enough,
Healing is a hard path,
Feeling everything or nothing.
thanks for sharing, yasmin. it really helped me, your honesty. i am so happy for you & carlos. i wish you both all the very best, always.