How to Tell Apart Narcissist, Psychopath, Borderline (Hint: Stability Island)
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- čas přidán 16. 05. 2024
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Here is how to instantly tell a narcissist apart from a psychopath:
The narcissist maintains one island of stability in his life while all the other dimensions of his existence are a chaotic maelstrom. He remains married to the same woman for decades even as he dizzyingly switches between careers and workplaces. Or he climbs the corporate ladder with the same enterprise for 35 years, having divorced and remarried five different spouses.
The psychopath has no such peaceable oasis: every single aspect of his life is mayhem and pandemonium. His personal life is disordered beyond any timelines, as is his kaleidoscopic range of vocations, his myriad on and off "friendships", his antisocial or defiant pursuits, his numerous domiciles, and so on.
Ever since I found your channel, I can’t listen to any of the other so-called narcissism “experts” on CZcams. They spend too much time on fluff and trying to relate to the victim, as opposed to providing valuable, substantive insight and information. I’ve also purchased your book.
Thank you.
I see what you mean. At some point the ‘hate fest’ against narcissists becomes unhelpful. I appreciate the analysis here of all the subtle complexities of narcissism to recognize it for what it truly is.
@@SoapsLuvr Same here. Sam makes us understand what we are dealing with, and this is so helpful.
@@SoapsLuvr it's like some people want to take the narcissism word and apply it to many areas it doesn't belong to make themselves the victim of the other person the bad guy. I say this is a victim of a few narcissist and it's my fault for letting them into my life or with people like my mom across the country from where I live now 3500 miles away, giving into the reactive abuse bait and switch game
@@SoapsLuvr Another problem with the hate Fest, which believe me at one point WAS beneficial to my recovery is that it becomes silly when they start using LOUDLY AND PROUDLY use words like empath. The way that they use it, it's like another way to cover up the fact that they're being doormats and coming up with this black and white THINKING, which is ironically/ hypocritically what they accuse the narcissist does in this whole angel/devil mentality equaling "empath"/narccisist, perhaps exposes the narcissism of some of the people. Especially some of the females who just with real new substance like to just accused the X of being a narcissist because they didn't get weight things their way like the little spoiled girl.
Everyone is a narcissist a scale of 1 to 10 and I don't have any of the cunning or other sorts of behaviors of the typical narcissist. But some of these other narcissists who CLAIM THEY'RE EMPATHS forget to look in the mirror. I who call others narcissist. what is supposed to be healthy recovery from being exploited by narcissist almost turns into a weird little victimey cult and I am as guilty of the rest of them for plane into that role myself
I am trying to pull myself out of that trap because it just becomes too over simplistic the way the rest of the victim crowd which I am trying to kind of leave portrays it.
Sword of Spirit, others in the common areas that I visit and other videos would call you the narcissist for saying that. I, on the other hand, see it as a fresh breath of air.
One just has to learn to protect themselves from not being exploited nor ever inadvertently acting back out the behaviors they have received. thank you for your post. I needed it
Basically everything described about the narcissistic experience sounds quite like the every day experience of a 7 year old. It's fascinating how much of their mental development is forever ceased before they are even adolescents.
For years I thought me ex-husband had bipolar disorder but after listening to your videos I now know that he has NPD. Thank you for providing your expertise. I now understand why he lost his law firm, his law license, had an affair with a borderline, lost his house, left me, and now lives off the grid in NM. I also understand why he does not call or have any interest in his son. This has helped me heal more than I can say!
Every time I watch one of your videos is like going to University
It's because I am a professor (my day job).
@@samvaknin Thank you Sam, this is gold!
Sam Vaknin - Thank you so much - for so many different perspectives. Dankeschön Mr. Vaknin
@@marionheil9061 Really?...Pure curiosity! Wich university do you go to? Your last name sounds german, but even though he is a professor I am not sure they are close to their knowledge at most of universities, speaking to several students from dutch and german universities about narcissism, I've noticed they are "green" on this field, because apparently in their cases they do not really dive into it.
@@samvakninthank you this is so insightful and so useful to have a different perspective especially the black / white thinking view
1st♥️
The silver lining In this quarantine is Sam Vaknin putting out multiple videos even in 1 week! Ou lala
🎊 🏆 🎉
Hey, cool it! Sometimes she is not my cup of tea!
I'm starting to believe Sam is withholding the Corona Virus cure😅😅😅. Keep the Videos coming and thank you SIR
Intellectual treasure trove...😍🧠
Thank You! My ex boyfriend was married 4 times. He told me that he has Never been Faithful to anyone!
He changes jobs constantly, never keeps any close friends.
Is Anger is Explosive!
And when his ex-wife came back into his life, at 1st I was mad and hurt.
And After this Video I KNOW that his ex-wife did me a Favor!!!
They LOVE going back to ex-wives. Especially ths ones they smear and call "liars, psycho, ugly..." 3 years later....."I never said that" lol
4x married 😑😄
Live and learn.
Or their ex-girlfriends. Especially if they have trashed and thrashed them they string them along somehow.
@@brendaplunkett8659 ex sent me a nude photo of a woman with whom he'd been intimate. Weirdo.
Sam you are real genius in this topic. Every narcissist I know have one island of stability. But the rest is chaos. Just as you have described.
You should see my work in physics, finance, and philosophy ...(sheepish) couldn't resist!
@@samvaknin 😆
Professor Sam Vaknin , you are absolutely right my ex husband is psychopath and boyfriend is a narcissist , the first one is horrible and reckless put us in so many problems and debt the second one had one island of stability it’s his business and the rest is Chios , I don’t deal with him in money but I would never wanna marry him coz he is also irresponsible and reckless it is just the first one more dangerous than the second but both have many mental problems , I don’t know how they find me sadly. I watch all your videos , I learned a lot from you , you r the most smartest one on you tube on this topic , only you solved my 25 years of mystery
The computer generated spectators is the most profound aspect of narcissism in my opinion. How they view the world is completely fascinating!!
I absolutely love your videos. I was watching this one and was saying out loud to my phone (to you) 'Yes, but then they abuse you after everything you do', and two seconds later you said, 'And the worst thing is that the narcissist devalues these people...' And I screamed 'Yes! Thank you!' No matter how many of your videos I watch I still struggle to get my head around how they can be so self destructive. You can give them everything and it will never be enough. More verbal abuse will come, always whsn you least expect it. Beautiful weekends or nights out or holidays, just ruined for no apparent reason. They need to be able to control your happiness and that is so toxic and sick. Thank you for your incredible intelligence on this subject.
I must say that your explanations using metaphores have helped me immensley. I was raised by a malignant narcissist and had a front line seat to how they disolve human beings to nothingness. I needed to understand why and you have helped me , eloquently I might add, in this 'journey'. Thank you
Everything is scaringly true! The instability they cause, by themselves being the cause
Sam Vaknin is the only CZcams expert on the issue at hand. Thought provoking and excellent communication with his audience. I will look no where else!
Hello Sam,
I have been in therapy for a while and have been studying cluster B personalities for about 2 years. And I stumbled upon your videos today. While listening, I became enraged, i am at work and had to calm myself down. You have hit everything spot on. What, and how explain things resonate in me. When I look back at all the abuse all the "uncashed checks" the lies the manipulation, I am agry at myself and angry at them. Thank you so much for lifting the wool from my eyes, and dispelling the delusion that I believed for so long.
Are you aware that he himself is a diagnosed Narcissis
Sam, you are amazing! Thank you for all that you do! ❤
I have come only recently to your videos. I must say the mix of humor with often terrifying material is uniquely addictive.
Thank you Sam for the explanation, making the difference between the celebrity narcissist and the accomplished narcissist.
Your content is amazing at the moment. So helpful!
"Play it again Sam" Thank you. Most readily understood of yours I've seen
Your video of the difference between a narcissist and physcopath was very enlightening. I can't wait to watch the rest of your videos. So, glad your channel is here to listen and learn. Thank you.
I appreciate when you compare normal reactions with the differences in narcissist. Sometimes the projection over time confuses the mind when character has been called into question over decades. The chaos is uncomfortable but normal and what should be normal becomes uncertain/questionable. My narc is a career narc with 4 shared children.
Just brilliant. Thank you, Sam.
Great!
Thanks for this video Mr. Vaknin.
👍
Simply outstanding. Thank you very much for breaking down the complexities of narcissism in this highly enlightening way. 🙏
Thanks Professor Vaknin for your educational and excellent work. You've helped me for years.
Best videos I've ever seen on narcissism, and I've seen a lot! Thank you so much
You are my go to channel! I love all that you do!
Interesting and enlightening as always.
All your videos have changed my life! Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Thank you Sam!! Your the best to explain this. It’s very deep! Thanks again you are really making me understand! It is hard still on the soul and I guess the ego when you have loved and you wondered always why no reciprocation. Never understood till I found you on u tube. I just feel like I wasted my best years in life. On a positive note I’m young at heart and will be fine. Knowledge is everything !! Helps a lot!! Thank you!!
Basically what I’ve learned is that anyone and everyone could possibly be a narcissist or psychopath
Great analogy at the beginning of the video!
Sam, if they are alcoholic/covert borderline, how does the alcohol make the condition even worse, could you do a video on this? From the observer which was myself, he appeared to hate his life everyday, and had a tortured soul. The best line I have read so far about my experience was "They love without measure those they will soon hate without reason".
Not hate we grow apathetic
I love without measure,but hate with reason.I hatd those who have hurt me and betrayed me.
Alcohol makes your situation very bad. My wife of 34 years has been an alcoholic almost the entire time. The verbal abuse knob gets turned to 11, when that doesn't effect you,then the physical abuse will appear. Also, whenever they are without you and are drinking, you no longer exist in their life.
Wow. So true. He was at his job as an engineer for 36 years. Had two divorces and his home was like a horder. Everything was a mess and disordered.
Donna,same here, also 36 years at same job,although never married but had kids (commitments issues or didnt really care much for the woman to marry her, I never got to know). Great care about personal appearance, the facade, and a lot of criticism for how others looked , but his home messy, unloved, chaotic, everything in the way,like an obstacle course..Not like collectors, who have things all over the place, but just junk, everything out of place...that was the first dissonance, warning sign, but i didnt know who I was dealing with then..every textbook characteristic of a covert narc came to manifest themselves in due time..
Same here. His messiness chokes me, and my life with him. He isn't comfortable without a mess of junk and garbage (useless things) around him.
Same here! Narc has same job for 30 years but house was a dog kennel and slept on a filthy mattress on the floor.
Of all the videos and articles I've read on the issue of narcissism and psychopathy, this is by far the most concise. Thank you for your work!
Amazing as usual 🌹
Valuable information, thank you very much.
So glad I found your channel
Thank you so much Sam Vaknin! I believe chain changement arrives because of the new energy one can find in new things after the perceived (and denied) failure one feels after disrupting the first thing
Thank you so much for this video. I was raised by two narcissists (one that is probably actually borderline with a strong narcissist type) - so relationships of any importance in my life always involve some aspect of this personality type and I’ve learned to accept it - as long as I keep learning about it and how to cope with it. I think some people don’t understand that some of us were so strongly shaped by narcissists that it’s not really possible for us to leave this type no matter who it is that surfaces. And being with a non-narcissist type would NOT necessarily even work for us (or feel ‘right’).
Me too.... It’s hard to believe how this is even possible because most people don’t experience this. I’m trying to understand what that must be like not to live life with these people magnetizing to me and Why I’m not happy with out these people in my life. I don’t know it’s hard. I’m trying to understand.
it's due to the Toxic CODEPENDENCY, created in early age, due to being raised by two Narcissists. You are attracted to what is familiar, unfortunately your subconscious controls your decisions even though they maybe be familiar BUT not good for you. We bring to our lives what we need to heal until we healed 🙏 ... You have to break the toxic pattern to be able to learn the dynamics of healthy relationships! Demands lots of courage, perseverance, discipline and self love and... NEVER EVER GIVE UP , the road is not easy, but worth every second !!! 💛 🙏
Your explanations are amazing, your ability to read the narcissist's mind is absolutely amazing. No academic research comes close to your insights
He's apparently a diagnosed narcissist himself.
@@ghihbgyu Not apprently, he is. He's talked about it many times
This explains how I fell for it. Thank you!
Def agree with you it can be dangerous to generalize and cater to victims without a much larger and better structure psychological profile of the experience. Thank you for being a voice of reason
Thank you Sam , you are heaven sent, your knowledge has helped me understand what happened to me, and now I am healing my entire life and learning about what happened to my brain in the relationship, but it happened and I'm a survivor not a victim, thank you and God Bless you
again, well done, Sir!! Yiu are very witty and brilliant, I guess you know that - Thank you very much much for your extended and very very comprehensisive teachings, they are very valuable and over here really appres
ciared! Allthough you say Psychology ist nit Science vut only litererally gerne, you‘re analysis is very accurate! If you might want to notice... Ithought myself to be ba super-empath, but but baybe I am simply a narcissist, and right now I feel feel at ease with this self-analysus! People are way too swift today with f*** labels, aren‘t they?
Only yesterday I left someone with borderline personality disorder,a person who during our 8 months relationship had few anger rages coused by almost nothing. Once he hurted himself, once he woke me up after fight and had a episode of such rage I thought he will kill me ,he was always telling me he have abandonment issues and depression all his life,I tried everything to help him , but he wanted to almost make me constanly proving how much I love him almost he expected from me to nurse him.
When I for example left to see a friend and told him it was good day,he would act numb and than sleep in another room.
Almost every single argument he was telling me his episodes of rage anger was my foult, I suspected he suffers from borderline personality disorder and I was almost prepared to help but I realised he probably knows his diagnosis and hiding this from me.
I felt completely trapped,I would be prepared to help but he continues to ignore to act and rejected antidepressants and despite being a teacher highly educated he smoked weed which I didn know at first about when I met him.simply I would never suspect that teacher can be smoking marihuanna so often( every day) I knew I will leave and cant be with him becouse of the addiction,but was prepared to help him.
Situation went really bad when I realised he was trying to punish me via differen behavior towards me if I did something that he didt like.
I didnt see myself as a victim couse I knew he is sick,however when I realised he doesn't take his self disstruction seriously I knew I have to leave.
I recognised his manipulation and often he told me he doesnt want to be this person.
I had no other option than leave, when I realised he and his behavior are taking controll of my life and the way I think.
I made sure he doesn't know my new adress,and to be honest that s what my intuition was telling me to do,,,not to tell him.
I really feel sorry for him,but,,if he doesn't care enough to care for this very serious mental sickness I couldn help.
I would like to add he is a very good father but my only option was to leave.
Also ,his father was a lawyer who was shot when he was only 8 and his mother had to work and almost left him to himself for a year.
This is a scary very scary personality disorder but during covid I observed him a lot and I have a suspicion he only have his rages when he chooses to,that would suggest he is capable to control it! Very,very weird personality but also god person!!!
Wow themother having to workis so similar of a situation I know of, and no they couldn't control their angeroutbursts whatsoever. Its like swearing out loudfor people with tourettes
That introduction malarky proper made me laugh! Nice 1.. and now having got to the end proper made me think too. My efforts to educate myself are paying off thanks to Sam Vaknin and his associate/ friend Richard Grannon. Everyday's a school day so they say, but these fellas must have helped so many. Discovering these two was a game changer and a serious personal leveller. Huge respect to both for such valuable and protective insights and the passion to raise awareness of not just the impacts of narcissistic abuse but offering the knowledge and understanding of why they are like that are. I've learnt a very valuable lesson in not to take it personally, so now I just object to being an object and that makes sense to me.
To the point!!!!! Great like always !
Your comment about the short-term memory: so, this is why, for the longest time, I wondered if he had ADD...
@A N soon to be ex
Thanks so much for this, Sam. I'm a bipolar female, but I relate to most of these descriptions. The part around 35 minutes where you talk about boredom with routine and the mundane. It really resonates with me. I just discovered you on an Amazon video documentary about this subject. I will have to search through your videos for anything on bipolar disorder and the connection / attraction to narcissists. I'm extremely curious about the effects of a relationship and reasons for this "cosmic" attraction between bipolar personalities and narcissists.
Hello J hall. I suggest you check out "The human Magnet syndrome" by Ross rosenburg. Your magnetic attraction to narcissists is likely caused by some form of codependency (or, Self love deficit disorder as rosenburg puts it) rather than your bipolarity. The magnetic attraction is apparently caused by a subconscious familiarity and comfort between narcissists and codependents, both of which are the products of childhoods that produced various forms of attachment trauma. As a recovering codependent who has a sister who is also bipolar as well as severely condependant, I am 100% confident that both conditions can exist simultaneously. Hope this helps.
@@MrRyannys very useful information, thank you. Can you recommend something to start healing from codependency?
Iam speechless, love your videos.
Amazing everyday I learn something new from you’re videos ! You’re teaching skills are amazing . Thank you for you’re videos
Your, not you're.
Sam Vaknin yeah sorry I’m not the brightest crayon in the box.🤷🏻♀️
But you are a good audience to thank the doctor. Your you're yore, we get the gist. I had to smile though, it was funny, the teacher had to comment, cute(he has a funny sense of humor) and you responded back. I'd hang out with you in the crayon box.
@@samvaknin That was worth a laugh today
So true they have a base women/men but they keep tearing other people and hurting other precious souls. We are going through a custody issue. This is so helpful to understand their dynamics.
It will be so helpful to have a book/ guide to easily teach my teen daughter about how to identify the mentally ill, so she does not have to learn the hard way.
More than once I was involved with narcissistic people, I wish I knew what I learned with painful experiences.
A book with examples of probably something teens like, love stories of people with this symptoms and how the wrong choice of boyfriend/ friends can destroy them. Teaching this early in once life can make a world of difference.
Thank you for sharing such a valuable knowledge. ✨🌻
Thank you for humanizing these people. I find many fans of other channels get bogged down and stuck in a dark, vilifying, and vengeful place. Most commenters here seem to be very gracious and open to new, even unpleasant information. Much more constructive than seeking out another buzzword salad to seethe to.
I concur!🙏🙏🙏🙌👌
Thank you. For your insight
You are my favorite to watch. That intro thing you do for other's benefit!!!😄 It cracks me up ever time😂😹🙈✌
Mercurial...what a great word!
His mom is His island of stability.
This video should be mandatory in high school.
Yes, humans are the most complex of all creation 😊
So fascinating and I find myself many times thinking that in general human beings today fit a lot of these descriptions. As in the career narcissist so much of what you described seems like a typical job description of how are you should be in order to achieve success at that workplace. Also very interesting about black-and-white thinking of people especially on CZcams… I had never heard of a narcissist and now in the last several years it’s literally all you see on CZcams… Instagram it is a likely way over used buzz word. Most of the time when I’m listening to people describe it they just sound like they are angry and venting about some past relationship they had with a narcissist so now, everyone is a narcissist 🤷🏻♀️
I definitely take any content I listen to with a grain of salt.
Thank you, Sam, ❤
Hey Sam, can you do a video on the difference between the origin of celebrity and career narcissist? Can they be changed?
I’m a narcissistic man. I seem to always find myself attached to psychopathic women. The relationships are always toxic. I am provocative and she is violent. I am engulfing and she is cheating. I am indifferent and she is threatening to kill herself, calling the police or getting me fired from my work. I succeed somewhere and she tears me down. She injures me narcissistically and I go into a rage and throw her onto the streets. She leaves me and I beg for her return through suicidal gestures, promises of marriage, anything until she finally leaves for another man permanently. Then I find a new woman and if this cycle doesn’t repeat, I am bored and do not attach to her. I crave the emotional sadomasochistic cycle despite how painful and life ruining that it is and detrimental for me. I don’t want this form of love, but it’s all I ever receive. It seems to be reserved mostly for me, even psychopathic women treat other less provocative men significantly better than me. There is something about me that brings out the worst in women. A vileness.
Have you considered therapy? You know it doesn’t sound consistent long term.
That's called codependency
please consider therapy! specialized mental health professionals might help you break the destructive cycle. stay safe and much love!
You have to heal the wounded part that attracts this kind of women and then reprogram your mind so you will not feel bored by a normal and peaceful relationship. Its a big step that you are aware of your relationships patterns, you have just to release it...
I hope in this last 2 years you've improved this part of you. It's admiring how aware you are of your personality, if we all would be so rational this world would be better.
Everything you describe is completely true
Thank you kindly
THANK YOU FOR THIS MATERIAL. I think a self-diagnosis can be tricky haha (of course) becouse I consider myself a stable, even sometimes boring person (definitely bored person) and without consultation with therapist and friends I would never think that I dont have an island of stability. But it's true and I see it now. Very interesting
Thank you Prof Sam Vaknin x
Your knowledge is amazing, I've learned a lot from watching your videos and I'm sure I have more to learn. Do you know if you don't mind me asking much about interactions between narcissists and separate autistic individuals? How that might work out? My children and I are on the autistic spectrum and I'm 99% sure my mum is a narcissist. I've had conflicts with mum over the years and she has caused a lot of grief. I'm just interested in your thoughts or perhaps a video of yours that you could recommend that I watch. Thank you for any help or advice you might give
I was reading ICE MANS biography recently and it amazed me how Richard Kuklinski, a psycopath of the most violent kind, was able to create and sustain the image of the good and honest familly man, never had any extramarital affairs, spend time at home with his children doing simple every day activities etc etc... And in his one words this is what he actually wanted, a stable famlilly and he made his hobby of murder a job in order to support them. Maybe this was do to his paranoid side (he was diagnosed antisocial +paranoid)? Mr. Vaknin, i believe some videos on PPD would be interesting. I have heard that some times can be mistaken for antisocials.
BTK was like this too. I believe he is considered to be a psychopath. I’m not sure Sam is correct in his definitions. I don’t think anybody has the absolute say on what defines the different personality disorders. Humanity is just beginning to understand them and much more work is to be done.
I like your sense of humor. Not sure everyone will get it
Thank you very much .
Hi Sam, thanks for this interesting video. Very helpful and insightful. I was wondering something after watching the video. Does the narcissist sometimes switch stablilty islands by necessity? For Instance when his partner is his island of stability, and she leaves. And there is no new availabele partner that he values as good enough to replace her? Can he then switch to have his stability Island at work for instance, until he has had a new island of stability in a relationship? Or if he doesn't find anyone, remaining with that stability focus at work?
Yes, he can switch between types of islands of stability.
Would be very interesting to have a lecture on what a normal range of the behaviors you described here would encompass in reasonably healthy peoole. (I got the feeling everyone ( maybe just me and I am projecting) is a bit off and ticks boxes here and there on a personality disorder spectrum.) How does one keep oneself in check and on track for a healthy path through life? I try to self reflect a lot, but this can be a self deceiving process too I' bet - especially when there is a lack of knowledge. For example: I want to do this or that for a good reason. Let's pick a field that is not popular. Music. People around one would usually tell one it is not safe and too risky. How to analyze this situation properly? Is a family or friends naturally concerned, overbearing, or is something wrong with the person not wanting to become a doctor?
Last relationship was a mess - how can I analyze aspects in it and make sure I am not the destructive one or if I actually lack in areas and served as a catalyst for troubles - how can I find out and correct myself?
A book on all that would be very interesting. Thanks Sam!
As you described the career narcissists, what came to my mind was some of the sharks on "Shark Tank".
I agree name starts with a K 😂
well thank you for clarifying this for me, i am clearly a psychopath. no sign of stability, at all, this way
Love these videos. Will you make a video about Cluster B and gender transition? If an untreated Cluster B is treated with hormone replacement therapy, how does this impact their behavior? There isn't a lot of research on this specific topic.
Somewhat along these lines: samvak.tripod.com/faq18.html
In my experience MTF I went from covert borderline to borderline.
Fantastic .mine was covert / elite 😟
Exactly that. The covert narc in my life is dedicated to hoarding money which he is good at but everything else is messed up (damaged relations with family, no friends, alcohol/porn abuse, no morals, depression/paranoia)
Hi Sam,
Could you make a video talking about how Histrionic Personality Disorder is a female variant of secondary psychopathy?
Thank you,
Johnnie
Prof. Vaknin, you've had a lot of experience talking and testing other narcissists and I'm curious about their sense of shame. It isn't shame for their actions because as you've said and I agree with they can do no wrong. Howerver I'm just wondering because my ex would have a lot of nightmares all the time. He wouldn't always go into detail he just said they were bad dreams from his past relationships. What do you think were these just mortifications that made him angry or dreams of his actions that really bothered him, like reality trying to creep into there fantasy. Thank you
Trough life I've mimic probably all of this types. I had. Didn't have other options in those times. I'm still have those roles in some situations, like business I'm running, and I'm more and more in media, so I understand thing about supply. I use those mechanism's to lift myself up! It's like drug's. No feedback, no inspiration; no inspiration - no money making, and so on and on. But there's nothing for free. Double edge sword ⚔️
Sam, I'm interessted in what you think about the phrase: It's our birthright to ... (be happy, live a life full of whatever).
A lot of the so called spiritual teachers use such phrases . To me this is an example of a quite high sense of entitlement and sounds very narcisstic.
Watch my video about gurus, mystics, coaches and other con-artists.
@@samvaknin I will, thank you.
I agree! The exact words out of the narcissist in my life actually stated, “there is no such thing as color-it’s black or white.”
Yet; the narcissist can have these tendencies-not all for each category. But, we all can certainly get the jest of the narcissists’ profile.
Perfectionist, successful and confident in many avenues of life. responsible, pious, flirtatious, dutiful, workaholic, inventive, passionate, energetic, driven, seemingly truthful, intelligent, and gifted, but lives or might I say, instills fear in others. The negative aspects are with brut force, controlling, sadistic, abusive, lack of empathy, communication, understanding and compassion for the suppliers.
But, still works to prove or set a good example with genuine aid, guidance and charity to others. With many foundations such as life long hobbies, stellar work performance, good relations outside of the home environment as in professional business interactions and social outings with travel, and fulfilling home duties.
Love is strictly being available or present and transactional, or punishing, cruel, invasively intrusive out of internalized fear. Hurtful and sadistically abusive physically and verbally as well as emotionally. Critical and never personal-in getting to know close one’s intimately. More of a dictatorship, foundation-ally, stern on rules and duties but is neglectful of engaging in loving bonds. If so they are awkward and intrusive or scapegoating-
Stepping on eggshells and escaping becomes the only foundation for the so called black sheep. Speaking one’s truth is halted immediately even when asked. Just a love/hate/fear type of unpredictability.
There are no excuses but we all have our fault, weaknesses and quirks. Hopefully, we all can communicate, truly listen and understand our part and forgive for real change. We all need knowledge, time to heal, acceptance and love as well as to learn how to express our feeling for proper bonding. Even though it seems impossible; there is always hope-an effort.
Talk therapy without toxic numbing, addictive substances is a healthy start. But to each their own. No judgments. We all have a voice and a choice to stand our ground. Everyone has their own set of circumstances to contend with and options.
Understanding the drawbacks and seeing the signs is the first step to healing. Peace be with you all. 🕊♥️🕊
ETA🌹
My mother is obsessed with her 200 boxes of books. She always says her books are her life. They are non-negotiable. Everything else is a whirlwind. Filthy, chaotic, hoarder of empty and filled boxes. She will fly into a rage if you touch anything of hers. She does hold on to my kids and tried me, but I got away. She still holds my youngest daughter as a way to get to me.
Good evening, Sam! Could you, please, describe difference between women and men Narcissistic behaviour/disorder, if there are any? There are opinions that those have complementing characters towards each other, and a bit different in needs and behaviours. Thank you for your input in it anyway!
I somehow missed the minute in the video where Sam talks about a question to pose in order to establish whether someone is a Narc or Psycho...
Did you make a video about "transitional supply" ? Thanks .
Sam, you are amazing...thank you. Can you please make a video talking about malignant narcissist MOTHERS? I need to hear your insights please. I’m struggling with my mother.
Search my channel before you waste my time.
minutieux et concis
I think that entitlement is always a red flag because motives are important. NPD person can be super succesfull, sad thing is he/she would feel like imposter regardless.
You might go into this later, but couple questions…
1. Do _narcissistic psychopaths_ have the NPD “island of stability”? If so, how does it look different from pure-NPD “islands”?
2. How you describe the psychopath - the constant chaos, no stability, living a life like you’re a quadriplegic who’s insisting on competing in track and field, etc - sounds…..kind of a lot like ADHD lol. Even as you continue speaking, the emotional dysregulation, dysregulated grandiosity, etc etc…so much like ADHD. I guess the question, then, is: how can we tell secondary psychopathy apart from adult ADHD? Additionally, how might comorbid ADHD-bipolar further complicate the differential diagnosis here (since bipolar can inject additional chaos into the adult ADHDer’s life, can generate severe grandiosity that alternates with severe self loathing via mania vs depression, etc)?
This will possibly sound like the oddest thing you’ve ever read but… I would love to sit down with you and describe someone in my life and just ask you a hundred questions. Sam, do you ever do 1-on-1 sessions online? I live in Melbourne, Australia. Also, would you ever come to Melbourne to speak to an audience?
Borderline I would argue is it's own thing. But I would argue that alot of people get misdiagnosed with it and actually just have psychopathy or narcissism.
Tank u !!
SIR.
yes. yes. yes. My mother graduated from a Naturopathic School and got a degree, but never could treat people. She worked for the last 30 years in min. wage jobs, but would tell anyone that she's a dr. She would consider herself an equal to any doctor she went to. She would challenge any doctor and grill them on their credentials. I finally realized that she hates me, because I always try to find the truth.
So a psychopath has no island of stability only chaos. Does this complete absence of logos typify all those who are diagnosed with anti social personality disorder, or only the most severe cases?
Thankyou
Wow, thank you for speaking about the island of stability! My husband is a narcissist, I'm his island...he's never cheated on me. He is completely indifferent about other people entirely, uses everyone, they are all objects, all except me. If someone hurt me, he'd kill them and feel nothing. I don't know what to do. You're so right! Everything else is absolute chaos. Cannot hold a job. Has no friends. All family has abandoned him. I'm afraid if I walk away, he will kill himself or someone else. Any suggestions? I can't do this anymore. And what is wrong with me that I find this kind of insane devotion flattering? I don't want an unhealthy relationship. I love him, I know he loves me. I'm deeply saddened and so confused.
Have you maybe gone to a therapist? I know its difficult for you tubers to respond so maybe reach out to a personal or couples therapist
If it’s me,IL stay. The main reason I leave my ex was he cheat so much and engage in reckless behaviour,I get diseases everytime...I’m scare one day he will come home with HIV,so I left since I cannot change this only behaviour...other behaviour,I can take it.
Leave him
You find it flattering because he’s giving you a taste of what supply feels like to him. He wants you to be addicted.
It’s nothing wrong on your part, but is exploitative and manipulative on his part.
Leave ASAP as safely as possible.
Sad to say I wish I was my covert narcissist island of stability