Santa Robbed Our House
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- čas přidán 25. 12. 2023
- Come see me live:
June 7-8 Kansas City, MO bit.ly/3PZWHZt
July 25-28 Denver, CO bit.ly/3Jxn6dG
August 2-3 Atlanta, GA bit.ly/3UYyogq
August 23 Omaha, NE bit.ly/3x4wHFY
Sept 18 Tucson, AZ bit.ly/3R0p1eM
Sept 19-21 Phoenix, AZ bit.ly/4agm7JP
Check out joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for more dates!
Hey Friends, wanted to share part of my set from The Comedy Cellar last night
If you love my stories I have a podcast that comes out every week: bit.ly/3NQmpio
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Drop a comment if you loved or hated the set, and especially if you're unsure. Subscribe for more. Thanks for being my friends! - Komedie
Hi Friends! Thank you so much for watching. Let’s see if we can get this video to 15k likes! Upcoming Live Shows in Hasbrouck Heights NJ, West Nyack NY, Burlington VT and more. www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for tickets
How are you not world famous? You're so relatable, dude. My mom laughs every time I look at her and simply say "you're drying your hands with a fart!"
Were you happy with what you've gifted yourself this Christmas? I brought me a tablet so I can see your jokes clearly. 😂😂😂😂
Interesting psychology about badly wrapped gifts, it makes people lower their expectation for what the gift actually is so that when it turns out to be something nice they liked it more. Look it up. I swear I'm not just making it up. I read that somewhere!
12k, you're g9nna make it! Happy New Year's, Josh!
I’m seeing you in Hasbrouck Heights and can’t wait! Merry Christmas!
Very inclusive to let a dolphin be part of the audience
😅😅
I was going to say that I kept getting distracted by the woodpecker, because I'm tired and my focus is completely gone LOL!
@vivwillshootyou ayo 🤣🤣💀💀💀
That's the best audience member!
More like Pennywise
"I'm 11. I don't have keys. You just got me rusting metal."
🤣🤣🤣
The real question is, how does Step-Dad Darren know how Santa bleeds?
Stepdad Darren... I'm sorry, but I'm a 38yo widow with a 4yo son, and I almost hate to say it but when the time comes I want him to have a "Stepdad Whomever"😂😂
Santa can't bleed. Do you see how many Chimney he goes down? He's made of magic.
How tf does this dude always have fresh content?!
Marijuana
he's just innately funny at making any situation funny. cheers to the future and another year of josh makin hilarious bits
@@brooklyna007 You would think, but (according to him) he doesn't even smoke!
Fr. Every week he comes out with like 10 new minutes of bangers
@@stephenomenal901 damn. Then I'm impressed.
Always tells the best "from the kid's perspective" stories!
Look, stepdad Darren really tried to save the magic of Christmas. Shout out to him!
Definitely showing the kid that it was a burglar was the best choice.
As a parent, I would freeze up. What's worse, the fiction of Santa taking a bullet, or the sight of a bleeding intruder? They're both such bad options for something your kid can remember forever.
@@MoonShadowWolfe I think they did the right thing. Probably taught that guy the value of life, and to not value his own less than the property of a person.
Once my parents gave me and my sister 50 bucks but gave it to us by ripping a 100 in half to also teach us to work together 😂
That’s when you tell them the cashier wouldn’t accept a ripped bill and we need a new one. Then take the new fifty, tape up the old fifty and now you both got fifty and you successfully worked together.
Because in life...
@@joec9693 There was never an old fifty.
Did you learn you can take it to any bank and get another bill?
"Step-dad Darren" 😂😂😂
I really feel you on the gift wrapping thing. That's why I get a cute bag and tissue paper stuff. And if you play your cards right, you can get the bag again for next year lol
Oh my god that is so dastardly and cheap... *I LOVE IT!😂*
I'll let you in on a secret: Dollar tree and 99 cent store have pre wrapped boxes. All you have to do is put in tissue paper and you're golden.
Sincerely,
A terrible gift wrapper
Using and reusing bags causes less harm to the enviroment, so it is really beneficial! 🙂Of course the best would be if christmas wasn’t focused so much on getting gifts.
@@shiraz9986I wish I could thumb this up more than once
Absolutely Gift Bags!!! Changed my life!😅
One Xmas my parents went all out & rented a Santa suit to stage a whole magical scene for me to SEE Santa leaving the gifts under the tree, but I was so scared of messing things up by not being asleep that I closed my eyes & pulled the covers over my head. No matter how much noise they made to try to wake me up, I wouldn’t budge, & all their efforts were for naught. ✌🏼
You knew the rules and damn it, they weren't going to catch you off guard!
They thought they could catch you slippin
"Santa don't even bleed like that." 😂😂😂😂😂 Always casually right on point like a boss.
Josh, I hope you had a Merry Christmas. Thank you for all your hard work in your craft and keeping the content coming. I know it must feel a lot like a job now but I just wanted to let you know I really appreciate what you do. Laughter is probably one of the best things in the world and you are insanely funny and talented naturally. Have a happy new years and I look forward to your Netflix special 🙏❤
What Gamertyper6476 said! Josh is awesome!
This comment is everything I wanted to say! 🙂
this young guy is blessed with talent..he's hilarious! Hope he keeps it up!!
6:42 “he will mess around and rearrange my guts” that wild brotha lol
def a pause moment
I now believe Santa is a black young man whose gifts are life lessons and laughs I never knew possible. Thanks Josh.
This man needs an hour long comedy special on Netflix or something !
He has one on Peacock if you have that.
We can only do what we feel is right. Even if its showing him a bleeding robber on christmas😂😂
The way he said rearrange my guts 😂😂😂
Yeah the whole sitting my child on some random man’s lap never sat well with me. Hence no Santa pictures for my little one 🤷🏽♀️
Nowadays, most Santa's have a bench and the kids sit next to him.
Well you sat on someones lap as an adult… Hence how you got pregnant 😂
This Christmas, wrap all of your presents with duck tape. Like literally. No one will ever complain about you sub-par wrapping skills ever again, guaranteed.
favorite comic out rn, josh really is allergic to missing
Josh is killing it rn with these topics man. Always so fresh and relevant.
That last story had me dying.
I stumbled upon this dude and listen to everything he has on CZcams and he is hella funny I am a Fan Fan now can’t wait to see him in person
Same--he’s fabulous.
From living in Chicago myself and being 26 living with the relative experiences you’ve talked about Josh,
I appreciate you and Happy Holidays!!!💙
Always BRIGHTENS THE HECK out of my day to see a new video from you up man. 🎉
You're super funny and prolific! I think you're going to be one of the greats.
better than my mom's family, they got robbed while they were at midnight mass. And they just told the kids, Santa took the presents back
😢
Plz what'd the kids do to make them lie like that💀
🤣🤣🤣🤣
DAMN!
FX, hear me out make a show called "Josh" about him and his awkwardness. This will be guaranteed gold. It will be Platinum
Damn, man, you work so hard it’s inspirational.
Was Chanel West Coast in the audience?
Hope everyone enjoyed yout holiday.
Thank you Josh, 'see' you in 2024!!!
is he gay?
That shit was funny as hell, thank you, man 👏👏👏😂
I cannot for the life of me wrap a gift. Everything you describe its me!
I really wish he would come home to Louisiana and do some shows here.
He is one of my favorite comedians.
One double A battery is just simply mean !!! However… it led to a hell of a great bit! Most comics are at least slightly tortured. That’s what makes y’all all so fantastic. Sucks right .. but also great material. “Within the wicked webs I proceeded”
Twas the night before Christmas. And all through the house the only noise that was heard was a crackhead screaming for help after being shot trying to break in the house.
That lady cackling 😂😂
Was Chanel West Coasf in the front row? Great set but there was alot of dolphin laughing.
LITERALLY SO SOUL SATIsfying to see ya on Trevor Noah’s new podcast episodes!!!!!!!!!!!! Making my LIFE
I truly appreciate how you produce your craft. It is a real treat to see your videos. Happy holidays and continued success in 2024. Much love and respect.
How does stepdad know how Santa bleeds - unless he shot him sometime in the past?!
Remember…snitches get stitches
Thanks Josh! You are a superstar. I see you going very far in life! ❤❤❤
Frontrow lady sounds like
ChipNUN
vs.a
ChipMUNK 🐿
What a great Christmas present.
Josh u are so funny. Me and my husband watching all your videos 😂. Keep it going May God bless you king
Hope you had a great Christmas man, found you recently and absolutely love your stand-up! Keep it up man and wish you a happy new years 💙
Lmao, don’t worry about black Santa. St. Nicholas was originally Greek. He’s going to have a darker skin tome either way 😂
Another great set. Merry christmas
“This big man’s giant hands could rearrange my guts” Pause
That one woman sounds like Josh and she are having a one-on-one conversation 😅
Oh wow... I just saw my own comment w out realizing it was mine. I'm literally here to tell myself how much I agree. With myself. At least I'm consistent.
Really cool of Chantelle West Coast to be sitting in the front row!
Josh, such a gem. Love your comedy bro! 😂🎄🎅
I love this woman's laugh
I'm 1000th like, wish there were more tho. Killin it
My friend's house was once burgled just before xmas... Her young son was asleep in his bedroom (thankfully he slept through the whole thing). She was 5 months pregnant. She heard noises outside her bedroom door and called out "Who's that?" and kind of spooked the burglars. Her husband woke up but refused to even poke his head out of the bedroom door to see what was happening!! Gun owenership is problematic in the States right now, but... shout out to stepdad Darren! I hope his relationship with his stepson improved after that.
Happy holidays
Great set. Going strong during the holidays! Thanks for the laughs!
Merry Christmas Josh!
Brilliant comic! Keep at it, Josh!
Hi from Melbourne. Love your comedy. It’s madness over there and as much as I hate to admit it, it’s getting a little crazy here too. Thanks for the laughs. Hope to see you in Australia some day.
Santa dont bleed like that
Thank you for the material dude
Merry Christmas, man. Appreciate you.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Merry Christmas Joshy 🎅🏾 🎄
Santa ain't got time to bleed... (brrrrrrrrrrt)
We love this guy.Best there is.😁😸✌️
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂this is hilarious
Ready for some post holiday laughs !
Josh, thank you for the laughter I just hope you’re getting some rest in between your shows. I don’t mean like behind the stage and sleep waking up wondering, where the heck am I. No I mean I hope you’re taking some time off for yourself refresh your mind. don’t want you looking old with red eyes and bags, dried up snot in your nose because you’re too tired to wipe your nasty nose, hair just looking jacked up, Rashy skin because you’re forgetting to wash your nasty face because you’re so tired, so all I’m saying is make sure you get some rest and time for yourself i’m just saying 💁🏽♀️ you’re doing a good job as a comedian. Thank you again . Ria L.
Logan, is that you?
Thanks for such a speedy Christmas set that had me in tears!
6:43 she was thinking about an entirely different method for intestinal rearrangement
Omg loved this
When he said "rearrange my guts" I was like woah easy now.
Step dad Darren is funny
Happy holidays! Thanks for the laughs throughout the year . Much success!
You always make me laugh! Thank you, Josh! Merry Christmas!
Sounds like Chanel West Coast in the crowd 😂
I went to massage school, and I've never heard of a massage place that doesn't ask you if you'd prefer a male or female massage therapist. It must've been a boojie-ass massage place, lol.
I definitely laughed out loud. Happy Holidays!
Finally watching one live!!!
The chipmunk in the front row is killing me!
Merry Christmas Josh 🎉👍
Stepdad Darren was a hero!
Happy Holidays. Starting out great for 2024
😅 Thanks for the laughs & 🎉 HNY ❤
Oh, no! Puns! PUUNNNSSSS!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Merry Christmas❤
love u joshie
Pahahaha 🤣 I was a dead giveaway on if I wrapped gifts! It looked like I wrapped a Boulder every time! I eventually switched to using bags 😅
This is such a fun set 😆😆😂
😂 Get it, Josh! 🎉🎉❤
That last line was great
This is funny funny one 😂
1. Happy Holidays Josh Johnson. 2. This was hilarious
YESSSS! I used to get excited watch all the videos of how gift wrap anything memorized everything and yet it NEVER worked. It’s like the videos creators did the Martha Stewart school of completion lies where “oh I did this before you arrived” and never in front of anyone at the end to keep their shady wrapping secrets!
The thumbnail made me think it was a story about someone shitting on Santa😆 censoring words can be funny
Hilarious
So funny
Thanks bro lol 🤣
Hello from Maine!!