Alaska Passengers Were WAY Too Calm & Men’s Ugly Furniture
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- čas přidán 29. 01. 2024
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Video Directed by Eric Shepard
Recorded at Ambush Comedy in Williamsburg, NY - Komedie
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Hi Friends! Please Like and Subscribe. I have shows coming up in West Nyack NY, Birmingham Alabama, Grand Rapids MI and more. Tickets and full tour list at www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour
I’ll see you in nyack!
Grow some facial hair, you big ABC, 123 Lookinazznga 😅🤣at least a goat...ijs u a growAzz man up indismuthauckah
of course josh! please remember that i love you..
Joshy, Please come to Charleston, SC! It's time! We adore you!
OMG OMG, you’ll be here in Michigan the weekend before my birthday 🥰🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
When I first dated my now husband he had a full set of furniture. It was all second hand but the man had a couch, end tables, coffee table, dining set, and a full bedroom set. I'm not gonna lie, I looked at his apartment and thought "this man has his life together" then I married him, 19 years later we're still going strong.
That's one hell of a bedroom set. I'm going to Ikea!
Meanwhile, I have an entire fully furnished house and still single lol. To be fair though, I am very reserved. You'll see me at home than outside.
Good for you
Respect to you for having old school values .
I was dating a girl that liked me a lot but took one look at my house and couldn't spend her life with someone as unorganized and irresponsible as me. My house is always clean (germaphobe) but my it does look like I'm squatting... Flip side is she did me a favor. I'm with someone that's clutter-blind like me and happier for it
“It’s the fact that you look like you live outside, inside” omg facts 😂
Had me 😂😂😂😂😂
Personal attack!
So accurate xD
primal living, bro.... doing the minimalist, sigma.... yah yah yah yah ope with a capital c
@@360.Tapestrydirty isn't minimalist
He joked about the lack of furniture being a red flag that they’re going to kill you, but I once went to a guy’s apartment (nothing happened, fortunately) and his mattress was on the floor, entire apartment devoid of any decoration, and I found out later on he called in a mass shooting threat to a school and had released a manifesto… so I think Josh is onto something there
holy shit...
Jesus! Glad you're ok, though!
Not a manifesto 😮
yea also with the location of your objects in relation to the ground being where you’re at in life is facts 😭
Omg
There are good men who are one table away from a good woman just about killed me!
😂😂😂Yaaasssss Lawd ...he ain't lying
It was that one right there. Please add me to the list of nearly deceased.
The flashbacks to college, though! I started keeping a roll of tp in my trunk for visiting some of my guy friends. And if there wasn't soap, we needed to have a conversation. Forget about paper/hand towels.
Josh sounded like he was genuinely concerned and tired of having to tell some folks!
@@alexiswilliamsinc Good lord, did they expect every guest to just hop into the shower real quick every time they used the bathroom or did they expect people to not wipe?
@@Blueeyesthewarrior 😅Your guess is as good as mine. But(t) I’d rather not think about it more than just the distant memory. 🤢
That line was perfection lmao
Sitting on my living room floor bed/desk/dining table having an existential crisis... Maybe I'll go buy an end table so I have a place to set cups... next month a bookshelf... look out, ladies
You got this! 😄
Ok King!
Personal growth 😂
They better get ready because you're doing it!
Look for gently used 2nd hand stuff! Furniture doesn't have to break the bank. It just needs to be clean & present. Good luck 🍀
The men putting things on the floor joke is amazing because when men ask what women bring to the table the answer is...WOMEN BRING THE TABLE. literally. a lot of men wouldn't even be sitting at a (real or metaphorical) table to dine if it weren't for women elevating them lmfao.
👏👏👏💯
No ....men build the table .,..then u have the choice to sit at it or not 🤔
Hey now, I have a table! It just happens to look and function as a computer desk most of the time, but there's enough room for a plate and a glass if you move the keyboard back a bit... 😄
@@robertmarley8852women build tables too… they also buy them off Facebook market place for 20 bucks and refinish them and resell for like $ 250
and you choose not to. something is seriously wrong with men. admit that your a savage that WILLplay with wood, cut it, and nail it together to then stand in an empty apartment. lol, most men these cant build one anyway. i can! so can MANY other women, loser. besides, a woman probably told him the idea first and made him go out and build it, and he probably gave her flack and attitude the entire time. @@robertmarley8852
"You need to put your things on things" took me all the way out 😂😂😂😂😂
Haha yess😂
It killed me dead 😂
Same
His wording for his thoughts seem like casual talk but theyre so meticulously formulated and worded that its instant comedy gold.
Agreed. Genius!
He’s so good at seeming to be off the cuff but it’s clear how much thought, practice, and deliberation he puts into his routines. How could it be any different when he is funny as he is?
Yes.exactly.
This is why I prefer the personal sets to the topical ones. There's only so much you can polish jokes about something that just happened.
It shows he is well read
The truest quote from this man is “ where your things are in relation to the floor is where it looks like you are in life .“ oh my goodness I wish I had of understood and known this earlier in life.
I have some tables, like low tables, and one big book shelf and two small ones, and two chairs. my bed is on the floor though and I don't have a couch or a TV so I guess I'm slightly above the floor? I'm kinda alright with that.
When I was younger the only reason I got furniture was that my sisters made me. Thank you, sisters 👯♀️
As a sister who told their mom to tell their baby brother that he needed to up his curtain game in his first place or else no girl would want to stay over and whose said mom pooh-poohed the idea, it's nice to know SOMEbody's brother's out there listening, jk lol.
My main issue is cleanliness. Too many dudes are just straight up nasty with their places, which has me then side-eying their hygiene all together. The bathroom and kitchen needs to be clean.
You been dating dusties
@@robertmarley8852: Nah, you would know more about that than I would. I don’t do dusty, but it’s a common issue with a lot of men that women have. Someone can clean up well and dress well, but until you see how they live, you don’t know.
All women need to lift up the toilet seat and clean under there. It's disgusting.
@@TooCoolforCardi Later for robert marley, you are exactly right! You don't know what anybody's personal habits really are until you see them in their own crib.
@@TooCoolforCardi to your point, how many girls have we seen on social media twerking with unmade beds, piles of clothes all over the floor? she fine but i am NOT going over her house lol
Who else goes ahead and just likes it when they get the notification ?? 😂😂 I know it’s going to be good anyway ❤
Right here! 😅
Facts it’s always gonna be good
Me 😂😂
60 likes . 58 waiting to watch.
Lol
Same
"The only thing that entertains you is your dreams ..."
The million dollar sentence .
shrooms have entered the chat
I feel called out. Literally got War and Peace on the floor in a pile of books 😂
Haha that only works if you already have a bookshelf full of books and you're going for the eclectic professor esthetic.
Bookshelves are $30 in Target bro. 🫣😂
@@TheKayleeannaever think people are broke. It's hard out here.
Book people recognise their own. If you're spending bookshelf money on books, you're doing fine. Maybe invest in a good comforter -- cozy book reads is plenty of people's netflix and chill.
@Sky_Blaze I've been broke too. And I could still afford to buy bookshelves. 🙃
Alaska airlines said "its not you, its me" 😂
I used to work for Allegiant Airline, and I am sitting here trying to figure out WHY a pilot would fly a plane for an airline that can't afford safe planes. I can tell you that an Allegiant pilot once refused to take off until a single light bulb above the luggage compartment was replaced.
It has been my experience that pilots don't want to die!
I can answer that question. It wasn't the plane design that was at fault, and it wasn't Alaska's fault either. It was a screw up on the part of the safety/quality assurance people that had fitted the "door" that flew off (it was actually a "door plug"--a piece that fits in the hole where a door would go--too much to explain here). Boeing engineers examined the door plug and found it hadn't been properly installed by the manufacturer. So the QA engineers registered the mistake and told the manufacturer's guys to fix it. Eventually they did, *but* after fixing it they forgot to put back some key pieces that keep the door plug in place. Once all the wall panels were put up inside the plane, no one could see the problem, and the door didn't get properly checked again because [insert human error here].
The plane actually flew for 4 months without any issues. And the pilots did a great job responding to the problem, except that all the audio they recorded got erased due to [insert human error here].
If you want the full story, look up Mentour Pilot's channel. He explains it really well.
This man comes up with more material every week than a team of podcasters. That's hard work. Most comedians do crowd work to avoid burning their material. This man is nothing but material.
"There are good men that are a good table away from a good woman". Facts! 😂
Two rules: you have to have basic furniture. That bathroom better be clean. I mean clean. You clean that SOB including the shower. Don't just pull the curtain because she's going to look.
Oh and bonus... have a clean set of sheets on the bed.
Not a bonus, that’s basic
"A door's worth of plane came off" - That, is nothing short of comedic genius right there!
I've been repeating "The floor is not storage" for YEARS 😂
Thank you
I went and and Trevor Noah and the way I almost stood up and clapped when Josh Johnson came out…I didn’t know he was going to be there. I was ecstatic. He had a comedy album come like exactly one of my worst days and I got to listen that…it was honestly the one bright spot. Forever a fan. He’s hilarious.
Aww I would’ve been super excited too. I’ve always wanted to see him live.
I listened to Trevor Noah’s podcast and josh Johnson made an appearance and I got so happy I smiled the whole time.
We love Josh! Happy taco Tuesday
This man is basically my news at this point. lol
Right? 😅 Some of his stories, I'm like... Damn after this set I gotta go Google what he's talking about. 😂
I'm saying. I get more on pop culture from JJ than I do from even socials right now. He is the moment. Material for daysssss... Real comedian.
"The fact that you look like you live outside inside " 😂😂
I love his style, his mostly casual physical stance mixed with his seemingly sincere concern with so many great lines: “guess I’ll choose aisle from now on.”
As someone single with money, a clean fully furnished home, & decent physique Josh is completely right when he says it's due to "jarring personality flaws" 🤣
So true about a man's apartment or house! And this is not just about young men. I briefly dated a middle-aged man who had one really uncomfortable living room chair, no sofa, and a card table he used as his desk in his apartment. His bachelor pad was just that, a place that was not welcoming or comfortable for a female visitor. Great job as usual, Josh, bringing these things to light so hilariously.
We men don't need much to be content. Some guy's don't even realize how a place might look to women. Josh has life lessons in his humor.
@@Ben-Kenthats why y'all are single 😂. Absolutely no excuse to not have couch
@@NoName-sp5dp y'all? LOL. I've been married for years. As are my responsible friends. As for the ones that aren't, most of them want nothing to do with it. They're happy with their hobbies, cars and the occasional tinder hookup. The clueless ones aren't as plentiful as you think.
@@NoName-sp5dpyou say that as it's an insult. 😂
I am a women who had the same mindset. Thankfully at one point I had a great female roommate that convinced me to at least try make my room somehow nice and actually comfortable. It does make a difference....
I am still struggling with making my apartment really nice, practical and aesthetically pleasing, but the more effort I put in the more peace and happiness I get from it when being at home alone.
I assume it would be very similar for many guys, but if you never had someone pushing and helping you to make your own space actually your own little personal space, it's hard to imagine what difference it makes in your daily life.
Why this dude doesn't have a late night show is a mystery
He new kid on da block. (that's an old music reference)
Maybe it's not something he wants to pursue...
He's currently killing it!
Patience, he'll make it
Ain't he writing on them?
He writes for the Daily Show
When Josh said Alaska called him and said its not happening, I damn near choked to death on some buffalo sauce 😅
Were u eating straight up buffalo sauce? 😂
I saw a guy in college who had an air mattress on the floor. I gave him a break because of college, but tell me why it was only half inflated!
😂😂😂😂 omg this made me laugh so much. He was prob like, it's already an air mattress, i can't get much lower... Oh wait
@@rocioiribe5841 Back problems?
To be fair, the only time I ever slept on an air mattress it deflated during the night, so it's possible it was fully inflated when he left it! 😄
Because they deflate when you lay on it for periods of time 😑
If you fully inflate it, it can pop when you get on it. If you inflate it so that a small part of your body touches the floor, you won't pop it.
Source: I popped an air mattress when I went to bed and had to sleep on the hard floor.
the two that missed the flight must've had final destination premonitions😂
I’ve said it before and he always confirms it, Josh Johnson doesn’t miss! Every set’s a banger
The way Trevor Noah put it was "it was a window, that became a door, that became a hole in the plane" and he said that so many times the minute Josh started saying "what happened was-" I immediately started saying "it was a window, that became a door, that became a hole" without realizing I said it until I'd already said it😂
I had literally just flown back home on Alaska Airlines on that exact same model a few days before. Hell, it could’ve been that exact plane! To say I feel like a dodged a bullet is an understatement. 😰
And I was just telling everyone that I think my flight anxiety is getting better. 😞
Honestly the fact that you constantly release jokes about shit that JUST happened is crazy impressive. Good shit man keep it up
The look like you got robbed finished me omg 😂😂.
Nah because once she sees your house and how empty that refrigerator is she'll know your not seeing anyone else 😂
SNL did a cute skit about them pulling the Boeings “cause we just gonna go ahead and tighten up those bolts for ya” before we flew you again.
That is a Solid plan. Superglue those wee buggers in place while you are at it!!! 😂
So good -- I love how the topics don't seem linked, but there are layers. Women don't want to be killed -- put things on things. Americans are too okay with maybe being killed -- things are falling off things. Put things on things people!
He needs a Netflix special ASAP.
Hey Josh 👋
Im a huge fan. I’m an Irish ☘️ lady who moved over to Birmingham Uk and brought up my 24 and 26 year old Son’s. I love your style of comedy and followed as many as your shows as I can. Hopefully one day I’d get to go to the USA to see you in person.
Thanks for bringing the smile back to my face after a very difficult couple of years.
I wish you all the best in your future career.
Natasha ☘️🤘😁
"You have a one-chair policy."
"Yeah."
"You can't have a one-chair policy when you have people over."
You are one of the only comedians I consistently keep up with, your stuff always tops itself
When I first broke up with my... holy shit batshit crazy ex, and she finally moved out and took everything she purchased with her, leaving me with the apartment since I was the only one paying rent... my place was EMPTY. I could hear the echo again! Only furniture I owned was a folding chair, an old short book case which I mounted my tv and game on, my dresser, and my bed/bed frame. My happiness that day when I came home was immeasurable! I had every intent to re-furnish my apartment and I had a set budgeted plan to do so within the next 3 months. By then I had a couch, a proper TV stand, a dining set, nightstands and lamps, and a more sophisticated bed frame. However, the first girl I had over unfortunately had to see my place before I bought any furniture.
Not it's louder and a little colder....😂😂😂😂 I should have been more specific got me crying😂😂😂😂😂😂
Me looking at my bowl on the floor in horror 👀
Ha!
He keeps getting better and better, his use of silence is masterful.
The way he smiles and almost laughs when he's about to tell a joke he really likes makes me happy. I'm glad that he really likes his career.
I always look forward to getting this notification. The man never fails.
Bravo again king!! “You live here. Don’t you want to sit?” Lol😂
A bookshelf is always one of the first things I put in a new place. Always has been.
my favorite time of day.
If they don't stop playin and give my boy a LATE NIGHT SHOW already imma *riot* ...I look for bro's take more than a State of the Union address.
This dude is funny as hell. Seeing his stuff all the time now. Must be having a moment!
Great set- I love travel, but damn sometimes shit gets crazy and all you can do is laugh.
When I moved out, I had my own furniture nothing used or from a dumpster. I learned to save up and buy furniture for myself, it was troubling when a few of my friends wanted to move in with me because I didn't eat off the floor.
Anybody else click like before the clip even starts lol.. Ya just know its good at this point
Perfect truth: "Where your things are in relation to the floor is where it looks like you are in life"
Damn, this guy is GOOD! Been watching his stuff for a few weeks, def gonna catch a show.
5mins before this video I was literally thinking about how people don't own furniture like we use too 😂😂 It's become socially acceptable to not have actual furniture in our homes
Geeza you love choking that XLR cable 😂. Your comedy is the bollocks mate, found you a month ago haven't stopped watching since. Love from the UK.
4:05 "There are good men. There are goodlooking men that are good men that are a good table away from a good woman." Why does that sound so profound?
I have recently discovered the joys of laughter after over 10 of addiction to drugs and alcohol. I just now ran into your channel. I just wanted to let you know that you definitely have a new sub and I thought you were real.
What rock have I been under, that I missed this guy?? I know he's on the daily show, but his standup SLAPS!
💗💗💗 everytime when there's a new video from J.J. I just get sooo excited. Like a 5 year old fot their favorite cartoon 😍😍😍
I understand. I was about to put on something interesting, but not too interesting, to listen to while falling asleep, then I saw another video from him and it was all over. I really need to go to bed now after watching several of his videos. 😂
If the rest of the comments didn't already agree: I'm a woman and he's right about the furniture. You don't gotta have everything but have a few things please!!!
His observations are always on point!
Josh, this was such a great set as usual! Also, I just wanted to say you were absolutely amazing on "After Midnight." You are so talented.
YES SO GOOD!!
You got no business being this good. (said in jest).
All I'm saying is that two cinder blocks and a 1x8 board does wonders
Josh Johnson is the cure for my anxiety
Alaskan Airlines was like, "you deserve better."
The modern king of observational comedy
The passengers on that Alaska flight may have seem more composed than expected, because you can really only scream for so long. I’m sure they were crying for the mamas when the window first came out. I’m sure there was terror and panic, but all you can do is stay buckled in. As long as they were sitting there, not flying out, I’m sure they’ll start to calm down at least, hold your foot to get to the airport.
I wish you could buy stock in comedians
This has made me, a 30-year-old female, realize I have GOT to get my life together, more than anything my therapist has ever said to me. 😅 I apparently live like a single adult man who can’t figure women out, lol. I don’t want a relationship, but maybe I need to respect myself more.
Much ❤ one step at a time ❤
elevate is the keyword for this set. elevate your game on furniture and air travel 😉
My brother spent his 20s with nothing but stolen lawn furniture and an air mattress. He also spent his 20s single. 😂
He is very exasperated at his friends without furniture 😂
Time for a great pick me up at the beginning of the week.!! ❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
My husband had a couch, a dresser with a small tv and xbox on it and a piece of carboard nailed to the wall. With like the shitty white lights. But I probably coulda took him in a fight and I needed someone to take care of me 🤷♀️ 8 years now! We have alllll the furniture too 🤣🤣
Your special was amazing!!! Love all your stand up. Discovering you has brought joy to my life.
"Well I did only pay $68." I. AM. CRINE.!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣
No one can afford furniture if they want to pay their rent and eat. We grew up bougie but our parents are too broke to retire or help us and we're too messed up to accept that shopping at thrift stores and Dollar Tree is a reality we have to face.
Moving out today and making it a point to get some furniture 😂
You live here.. don't you wanna sit? 🤣🤣🤣
One of my good friends has a decent job, a car, apartment and we regularly go out and drinks are on him... His furniture consists of a couple of bean bags and a bed
“if the books are on the floor… he cant read” 😂😂😂
Aerospace engineer here, it was a plug hatch. Which means a fixed panel that could be converted to an emergency exit etc. They tend to be bolted on and periodically need maintenance. That means that there needs to be good quality assurance because you cannot see that they're about to fail from the outside. So what do you think wins in America: regulations and quality assurance, or, big business turning a profit? BTW, I saw Tim Poole saying it was because of DEI (woman pilot). Such geniuses your political right wing are.
The furniture thing is so funny and accurate
So true. If I go to a friends place and their tv/speakers are mounted near the ceiling, good chance their sh**s together.
He's right. I absolutely walked away from men due to a lack of furniture. Like you don't have a couch or table? Just a beanbag in the middle of the floor..
If you dont have your living room together, how can I expect you to have your life together?
i’m an educator in fairbanks & i still have students stranded on winter vacation in hawaii 😂 meanwhile it reached -47 degrees last week. lol. that’s why they’ll take their chances w/ alaska airlines 😉🥶
You're one of the best in the game right now. Love your videos, man.
Love your sets dawg. All the way from South Africa 🇿🇦 Keep making us laugh B.
Let's get the laughter started 😊😅😊
Alaska Air gave you the "it's not you, it's me" 😅
My family and I flew to Orlando Florida via Chicago Illinois from South Bend, and I thank God neither plane fell apart mid flight. To hear about a plane go to pieces in mid air, you'd be thinking "Nah, that could only happen if someone didn't screw in the bolts correctly". Where are Spirit Airlines getting their maintenance crews from? It's like they're hiring people who used to work at Sears Automotive or something.
Love the throwback shade thrown at Sears Automotive.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings Wouldn't surprise me, in fact, if the guy who installed the door on that Alaska flight was the same guy who rotated the tires on Ron White's van.
Dude is naturally incredibly funny