Tiktok's Trauma-Dumping Manipulative Supervillain
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- čas přidán 10. 10. 2023
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Cooper you are such baby girl
Cooper u a queen
@@RealKellinQuinn too real
We love you cooper
Why dose these dumbasses keep tramam duping on tiktok I swear I have heard about this by Ray William Johnson and she might of had some sort of loving relationship at some point but she also dosent have her name in his book about him but Ray did talk about there might of been some relationship
Trauma dumping your husbands death to some person just trying to give you food is so insane!
especially when it’s not your husband
"ma'am this is a Starbucks drive-thru and I have trig homework waiting for me at home. is there anything else?"
@@alexsansdrapswell they were indeed engaged, someone on tiktok did lots of research and found that out
and recording it
@@NyikoDorislol right. I feel so bad for that person, whoever they were, probably standing there going “umm, okay…”
as a retail worker, specifically a cashier, it is astonishing how much people will trauma dump to someone they have never met before while they're getting their groceries
Me walking someone to our glitter aisle and being told how someone brutally unalive themselves and it's for a memorial.
Like mam... I was just walking you here. I didn't need this today
oh, you too? I think my worst one was when someone told me about their dead sister.
I think it’s people who hold stuff in and have a hard time opening up to friends. They find it easier to open up to complete strangers, since they’ll never see you again most of the time. So they’ll unload on cashiers/retail workers.
yeah... anyway 100th like
You guys handle this so much better than I would. I’d probably either burst into tears or laugh inappropriately at my internal monologue. Either way, I would end up somehow being weirder than the person telling a stranger about their trauma 😁
The amount of trauma dumping rhat happened when i worked retail from 15-19 is wild. People would tell me their whole life story - in detail - and I had to follow it up with "I'm so sorry... your total is $26.50"
That’s what makes these situations the worst! It’s the shame you feel after responding to a sympathetic/saddening story with “ give me money”
I just posted a comment about this too. Why. Just why
especially if you’re a teen 😭
,w
😂😂😂 omg
Doesn't surprise me, my ex friend went out with an guy twice before he called it off. Six months later he unfortunately died. My ex friend was telling everybody she was his widow. At his funeral she told his parents she would of been their daughter in law. Made the whole funeral about her. She invited 20 people for moral support. The family made her leave because she was creating an scene. She told his son that she would be an mother figure to him. She told his ex wife he loved her more. She got an tattoo of him. They went on two dates and hadn't spoke since. We found he died through mutual friends.
Oh my god that is completely unhinged wtf. I'm glad they kicked her out.
@sunnyandthechlo The funeral was an mess, she invited her whole family for moral support. She demanded every one met up four hours before the funeral to support her. She took photos of his gave and post them on her social media. She wanted everyone to call her an widow and blew up on everyone. She got an massive tattoo of him.After an argument with her, she told me she wished i was in the grave instead of the love of her life.I am glad she is my ex friend.
There's no way this is real....are you serious??
The audacity to call urself a 'widow' when only going out on two dates just to not see each other again is WILD. Sorry you even had to experience that man
@@cassy1998xxThat is actual psychotic behaviour what the hell???
She's the definition of "ma'am this is a Wendy's"
Omg this comment summs it up perfectly ;D
LMAOO FRR 😭
"So, are you paying with cash or card?"
@@gabeharris926"We don't accept dollar bills over 50, ma'am"
@@Sweettard” please pull up to the next window, ma’am”
For a second I thought this was gonna be about the lady that killed her husband and then wrote a book about her children working through the grief.
Hold up. WHAT??
me too babes
@@Min-vq3kqyeah she put fent in a cocktail and tried to convince everyone he had od’d which worked for like 5 min. It took a while to get a charge because they had to gather evidence, but she was extremely sloppy for someone who thought they were about to get away with murking their husband so she’s def been charged and is on trial rn I think. Her name is Kouri Richins. That’s the gist of it all, but there’s much more to it than that. It’s a wild story so I’m sure you can find several videos to fill you in on the rest(:
I thought so too.
Me too.😢
Trauma dumping on a random person and then using your “husbands” death for clout is gross. She’s genuinely such a weird and disgusting person.
i was a 17 year old bisexual girl working at shell gas station and there is actually a shocking amount of people that will just overshare literally the deepest darkest parts of their life and it's truly uncomfortable to be on the other end of that nodding your head and apologizing to them
17 year old bisexual girl who still works in retail here - the way people are willing to just overshare immensely tragic events is wild to me. for example, a lady once told me that when her sister died, she saw God take her up to Heaven. And I’m just standing there, having to be like “…so, are you paying cash, or…”
i worked at a gas station dunks. jesus christ the things people said for NO reason 😂 traumatizing shit man
Also... What do you mean by "was"? You were a bisexual 17 year old... But you aren't anymore? That's not even how that works. Lol. Being gay/straight/bi, etc. Isn't a phase. You are what you are. 😅
@@chrissyscholl816 chrissy, my girl, i was making a joke about the video. he says something about a 17 year old bisexual girl.. I'm still bi, believe it or not, but no longer 17. I'm 23. i think you maybe need to watch the video and get the joke before you comment on it.. there's a ton of jokes about bisexual girls, especially on this channel lmao......
@@chrissyscholl81612:43 if ya need the time stamp ✨
She’s the definition of a toxic person venting to anyone she sees, like the embodiment of the 2020 arson discord people
@@choccy_bagel if you had discord during 2020 you’d know. Basically people that made everything about themself and were really draining, negative people
@@choccy_bagelu heard it right… it was just a bunch of cringey ass ppl that vented abt things that weren’t really vents and constantly made references to the act of arson and it was really annoying
@@choccy_bagel you’re welcome. And yeah, it is concerning but at least on the plus side now I’ve developed the skill of being a fast typer due to attempting to help them then lmao
@@choccy_bagelah, probably just the retelling, "arson" is probably chosen cause they're setting a fire that's harmful for everyone
I knew an arson that acted like that........
dude this shit actually makes me so pissed. like i had a friend die and i heard a lot of people making fun of it, but then i had to see people who didn’t give a damn about him act like they were best friends and it was almost worse to hear. i can’t even imagine how gut wrenching it was for the family of the victims to find out about this woman.
Yup, I’ve seen that too. Someone dies and suddenly a bunch of people pop up going “we were soooo close, I’m sooo devastated.”
Meanwhile I’m like “I was in their life for years and I’ve never seen or heard of you before.”
I don’t even get the point. Like, is it for sympathy points I guess?
why the fuck would anybody make fun of somebody's death? that's the most disgusting shit somebody can do.
Same.
This is so common it hurts, like ppl will only care when you're dead bc it can be used to make them feel morally superior. When my great aunt was dying at the hospital NOT ONE PERSON, outside of my uncle, his wife, son and my grandma visited, they have a big family and everyone lives in the same city, but no one else bothered to show up or even message to ask if she was ok. I was crying so fucking hard bc these assholes were able to see her one last time but never cared enough to do so, meanwhile i couldnt bc i lived far away. Guess who showed up at the funeral crying and posting about it on facebook tho
@@thepotatoman6755 he was 16. and kids said he had it coming. it made me sick to my stomach i sobbed all day.
It's grief cosplay. She has no idea what it's like to lose someone but her ex's murder stirred something up, and she can't handle it in a healthy way.
I was in esthetician school and had a client who was nice, but kinda off. She trauma dumped her husband’s death on me and sobbed the whole time. He didn’t go peacefully and she told me so in graphic detail. After she left I started shaking and then sobbing…luckily my friend was there and she hugged me tight and said “what she did was wrong. she should be talking to a therapist and not you.”
I'm glad your friend was there, that's awful ❤
I had similar experiences working in salons. Lonely and needy clients would often book an appointment just to have someone to listen to them. And the freaks...oh, there are some strange people wanting strange things out there.
@intheraw6393 way to blame OP. People just shouldn't trauma dump on others. There's helplines and support groups if you can't afford a therapist.
@@gmc5618 omg no SHES blaming other people lol. It's like, all you young people are taught to just be alone and anyone else going through things like TRAUMA are your personal trauma. I have very decent advice.
During school we were educated that these things would happen. Maybe her teacher wasn't very informative. Stop blaming others because you're uncomfortable (obviously discomfort helps you learn and I don't mean things like men trying to take advantage or start strange conversations.. Def have had that happen many times. And I RE DIRECTED THEM when I could) . Learn to help, learn to redirect, learn to stand your ground. It will come with growth, but to say someone who was traumatized ruined your day and that their emotions were wrong for You just doesnt sound ..... It just doesn't sound lol. I have no hate or animosity. We were taught that people who go to spas will tend to release baggage.
I couldn't imagine going home and saying how sad someone else was and then my mom saying "they're wrong for that" lol.
Good thing y'all arent hair dressers!
Like how do you relate to people then and make friends or create sellings points lol or referrals. Hence the beauty of networking lol
This new generation is such a flip, either they're totally cool and see a lot of nuance in life, or always butt hurt 🤕 fending off the very things needed to sustain their jobs in a HUMAN WAY)
Perhaps she needs the therapy just as much as her client. Or USE the client's issues to refer her to a massage therapist who can refer her to a THERAPIST THERAPIST. we are all HUMAN and need each other is the point! Like I stated before, if it had been so many times which would be too much, you NEED TO LEARN some basic people skills that will help you out.
None of this requires a rebuttal.
Not everyone lives in a protective shell.
Anyway, I know text has no tone, and it's not said azzholey. I learned from experience myself. And yes, it IS ANNOYING. But that's what you work through to learn .
I understand "trauma dumping" more annoying at a bus stop than in customer service.. it's expected in things like spas and salons. So you NEED TO EDUCATE yourself.
@intheraw6393 that was an essay and a half Jesus christ. Basic people skills is not making others so uncomfortable at their place of work by oversharing and overstepping personal boundaries. It's that simple.
Who else absolutely loves Coopers room?? It’s such a cool vibe
Right it’s just so comforting just looking at it!
It is it looks like the room form of bread pudding if that makes any sense, just the vibe
@@bentsticks9331 wdym by that? How would you know what that typa room looks like? 🤨
fr tho
@@Ghost-Tea the bread pudding vibe is very real
I appreciate you pointing out her use of the word "brutally" because that language makes a huge difference in how the listener takes the information. A lot of people don't realize how badly their trauma dumping can affect others. My friend's mother was kidnapped and murdered years ago, and sometimes hearing certain stories from other people can be pretty triggering. She can and would continue working if she were the cashier in this scenario, but it would add unnecessary stress to her day. The wording matters. If someone were to say "I lost my husband." my friend probably would not be triggered, but saying "My husband was brutally killed." is radically different and puts the listener in a radically different mindset.
"I lost someone close to me." is a call for sympathy, "Someone close to me was brutally killed." is a reminder of not only our mortality, but how easily it can be taken from us by each other. It's a jarring thing to hear for anyone, but it's a potentially triggering thing to hear for some people.
(Edit to clarify: I know that the person in this woman's story isn't really her husband, I went off on a tangent because people who trauma dump still talk like her even when their stories are true, so it was a good point about language and communication.)
For real. Like the second you tell me someone close to you was “brutally” killed, my mind goes straight to “were they really that close to you then, if you choose to say it like that?” I just can’t imagine you’d want to broadcast that information.
I would literally feel sick thinking they were gonna give me the gory details for no reason
Well said, all valid points
I appreciate hearing this sentiment and opinion; my best friend of 15 years and her boyfriend were murdered two years ago (I don’t trauma dump thankfully on random strangers lol) but I think sometimes people that use this language think that maybe it somehow pays more respect to the person they lost if that makes sense? Almost as if you downplay the way they were taken from this earth makes the loss seem to them like it’s so much less than it actually is if that makes sense? Either way I completely see this from both sides and judge neither 🙂 random strangers who haven’t felt that trauma obviously are probably so shell shocked they don’t know what to say, and I can also see how it could be very triggering to someone who’s experienced it. Personally when I have people do the same to me, I feel more deep empathy rather than being triggered because I find comfort in someone also relating, as it’s not a common thing to come across and have in common with someone, but not everyone has been able to process that trauma to the level I have I acknowledge.
@@sarwall_ thats an unfortunate reality some of us have come to realize at some point. That even though I dont get affected by things to that extent, I can't expect others to be the same. A bit jarring to come to terms with at first, especially being that its never ill-intentioned. But this is good to know either way
"She wasn't married to him...and it was thirteen years ago"
Every statement was like someone throwing coffee in my face
As an ex-Starbucks employee, I can confirm that baristas are seen as bartenders for sober people and will just randomly treat baristas as therapists. I had a customer that came up to me once and asked me if he should take his daughter out to drink or do cocaine for her 18th birthday and all I could think of at the time was “sir, are you serious?” But I just said “she probably wouldn’t enjoy either of those things. Maybe ask her what she would like to do?” Lol
I worked at Starbucks when I was 16, I had already dealt with some heavy shit. And my bff had the same thing happen to her mother in a brutal way . I I would have started crying and probably had to go home. It’s really not fair to like just tell the random minimum wage worker who might be a literal highschooler anything about murder before coffee
Edit : not me unpausing the video for cooper to validate my thoughts seconds later ❤
Yeah, it’s super inappropriate to do to anyone and especially a kid who’s a stranger and who may have their own awful wounds they’re trying to move past and now it’s just dredging that up for them…. but it’s even worse when it’s an employee that’s literally stuck talking to the person and has no choice of leaving that situation and HAS to be all nice and stuff. Literally cornering someone into hearing about it.
And the “I’m fine with trauma dumping” bit is just infuriating. Like…. ok, good for you, but you literally put that out there and signed up for it. Can’t just assume someone else is open for it. They didn’t actively state it was welcome. Trauma dumping on someone that verbally volunteers for it is so extremely not the same as doing so to a random employee that literally has to listen and may have their own stuff going on! 🤬
Exactly, therapists are literally PAID and TRAINED to listen to this stuff and provide support, dumping your baggage on emotionally vulnerable teenagers is so weird
@@KestrelDC absolutely!! I feel like she really thinks the employee is gonna tell the car behind her , by the way your coffee is free bc her husband was brutally murdered . Yea not gonna happen 🙅🏻♀️ thank you for a validating comment that was also far more nuanced and thoughtfully written than mine could have been. It’s absolutely unacceptable to do to anyone
i'm a murder attempt survivor and wow, this is beyond ridiculous. after my incident, i've been grateful for life but this really opened my eyes. my heart goes out to his family.
oh god that's awful. i hope you can heal from what happened
I hope you're okay and I bet you're amazing and I'm so proud of you, but when I first heard I thought you meant you almost murdered someone💀
@@silvea34roblox LMFAOO
@@graceelizabeth130 🫶🫶
@ville2_ also "I'm super cooler is incorrect, the correct way to phrase that would be "I'm way cooler" or "I'm way better"
I lost my boyfriend last year, and I’ll tell you people do not want you to discuss it. It makes them feel bad. I do not want to trauma dump on a total stranger and put them into the position to fawn over me with “oh… you poor thing! I am so sorry”
Even if everything else turns out to be false, this girl is weird.
I’m really truly sorry to hear about your bf. how are you holding up? have you been able to romantically move on? and p.s, as a stranger I give you complete consent to “trauma dump” as much as you want hahaha (if you want to ofc, I don’t want to pressure you or anything)! but yeah I seriously hope you’re doing better and that you have a good support system around you, and again (ik you said you don’t want to hear it, but I feel horrible not saying it) I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. :(
@@sxhizornsmn I gave gone on a few dates but nothing has occurred from them. It’s honestly very isolating, because my friends are married with kids in other states or here close to me but heavily involved in their own relationships (as they should be)
And I am coping, trying to learn to be okay on my own. Losing my boyfriend was like losing a part of me, my other half as cheesy as that is to say. He was the person that I spent all day waiting to come home to. He was my safe space, and being alone now I am working on being my own safe space… But the loneliness I feel is palpable.
i get u i lost my gf few years back and don’t force urself to move on cuz u won’t u just move with things like this u grow stronger u got this
@@DankrumStardon’t feel any pressure to move on so quickly, especially in terms of dating. You take whatever time you need
Oh wow, I lost my boyfriend three months ago today. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s one of those things that’s impossible to really comprehend, because it’s so out of the realm of normal experience. The day after it happened I didn’t know what to do. I was by myself-his family lives hours away and I wasn’t going to stay with them for another few days, closer to the funeral. I went to get dinner with friends and was still very much in shock, wasn’t thinking, got too drunk, was telling everyone (waitresses, retail workers, etc.) who would listen about it because I didn’t know what to do. And that wasn’t fair of me! I wasn’t thinking about them, just the immediacy of the grief. I could not imagine doing something like that now, let alone years and years into the future. You are right. This lady is weird.
As a call center employee it truly is disturbing when people trauma dump and overshare. It’s a horrible thing to do, and we literally are just sitting there because we have to be. Stop telling random workers your tales of woe, when we say “how are you today” we do so because we are obligated to. Leave us alonnnne
yes!! I work at a call center as well and it's so emotionally draining. one call is someone talking about poverty and cremation and literally 1min later another caller is yelling at you over something your job doesn't even handle. you go home exhausted and drained and knowing entirely too much about strangers.
How is it a horrible thing to do? How did it permanently change your life? Yall are so out of touch.
@@Anemonolmaybe because people don’t want to be hearing about terrible tragedies that happened to random people while they’re just trying to work minimum wage, moron?
I scream laughed when the alert system test went off and he quickly spun around looking for the danger then moved on 💀
SAME LMAOOO. I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO MENTION IT
REPLAYED 😂😂
Honestly I feel bad for the poor man who died. She's using his death for clout, and that's so insulting to his memory, and his family. She needs some serious therapy, I'm not even kidding.
in my 6 years as a barista, I have been trauma-dumped on so much, but I have also had a bisexual coworker who used to work at Starbucks who dumped their trauma onto customers which made both the customer and myself uncomfortable, but at least it is a little funny to watch someone immediately pivot from "I'm sorry" to "can I have a coffee"
Fr tho-like there is a time and place for everything and trauma dumping on strangers who are either trying to do their job or get a coffee just ain't it
Wait what does her being bisexual have to do with her shitty behaviour 😰
My cousin's husband was murdered by a complete stranger when she was 8 months pregnant with their second child. This was five years ago and she's now happily remarried and even then she still can't talk about what happened without tearing up. This shit is unfathomable to me.
My cousin was murdered and my family talks about. We’re not all the same.
@@Anemonol ok?
@@Anemonol if yal are talking abt it to random people thats the problem
She's the type of person to start screaming in a Mcdonalds and then explain that she's promoting her new novel.
I thought you were going to say she murdered him😭😭 it reminds me of the lady who made a book with her children about getting over the loss of their father to help other children deal with death, but it turned out she was the one who killed him💀
Yes it reminded me of the same thing
I thought this was what the video would be on tbh
Sorry but the way you wrote that made me laugh out loud
Kori Richards (could have spelled it wrong). Everywhere yanked the book when she was arrested.
@@PhancyPants12 It's actually kouri richins, such a disturbing case
her being like "just because we werent legally married doesnt mean he wasnt my husband" is such a horrid move to people who cant get married (whether for disability benefits, homo/transphobic laws, or any other reason) yet still want to. like no yall Chose not to get married
Well she was claiming they were going to do the legal marriage without a wedding and he died just before they could get the certificate
@@haydendavis6925that’s a very convenient excuse considering the only person who could disprove her is dead
@@ollieollieoxenfree3246I mean, this is exactly what happened with myself and my late husband. He died one week before our wedding. We were never able to get the certificate. We had the license to marry, but not the actual marriage certificate.
I'm still going to call him my late husband though, not my late fiance, because marriage is a lot more than just a sheet of paper.
@@ollieollieoxenfree3246his family is still around though and they have confirmed that they were together when he died. Cooper is making a lot of wild claims in this video purely based on vibes. No research beyond maybe 2 Reddit posts.
@@icequeensamwich9309
Yeah but the difference is you don’t have a reason to lie about your situation, whereas this lady absolutely does.
When I was a teen working in retail I asked how a customer's day was, didn't hear their response and did a 'haha yeah' in response as that had never failed me before. She got very upset because what she had told me was that her mother had died yesterday and I felt so bad
Guys don’t believe it when Cooper says he is six foot. How could he be baby girl if so tall?
Edit: (guys this was a joke he is still baby girl even when he lies about his height😌)
Six foot TWO!!! (I think lmao he's said it 75 times and I still don't remember)
I feel like he would be "baby girl" if he was clean shaven.
He is kinda cute though and his personality is decent ❤
Bro, why are all the comments about how he looks? It's hard to find comments that are actually about the video😂
Kinda cute??? Decent ??? Lol
we do not discriminate here. babygirls can be 7' tall it's all about their vibe.
I find it super weird that she used his real name and circumstances in case she got fact checked, but didn’t consider that fact checking would go behind googling “was this person murdered”
I'm not entirely certain, but Ray William Johnson did some deeper research - and found that there's a good chance that it was, in fact, her husband. So it could be just her weird way of going about it.
@@yunfi. oh weird!
I worked with a woman whose daughter was murdered by her so-called friends. I'm sure it shocks no one that she hardly ever brought it up, let alone talked about it like she was in a Lifetime Original.
I get it, everyone grieves differently and we shouldn't be so harsh to judge how people move on after tragedy if they aren't hurting anyone. Still, this lady seems like she's the kind of person who revels in the attention of being a widow, and will embellish everything she can to get the right benefit.
As a restaurant manager who started out as a cashier, the amount of ladies and older women whove traumadumped abt their dead hubbies on me and my employees is insane 💀
She said “in my complete book /ready for print/“ 😂 that is insane! She’s like a parody character
as somebody who was the 17-year old bisexual woman working at starbucks, thank you cooper.
22 yr old bi and gender-fluid starbucks barista here and also grateful for cooper lol
@@verszka1678 it's very much still used and generally accepted in academia and professional work settings. im in my 30s with a master's, a house i own, a happy marriage, and coworkers who respect my genderfluidity, so put that in your juice box and suck it.
@@darkfae420 oh dope, we have the same identity 😎 I'll have extra gender fluid in my coffee please
I guess that makes you a bi-rista (rim shot)
@@onionbubs386oh god it sounds so gross when you say it like that
Her husband’s death is the worst thing that’s ever happened to her… and everyone she interacts with
They weren't married.
@@Drakenvliegthat's the joke
TW UNALIVING
my best friend killed himself and it was horrible and traumatic for his family and friends. It's been about 15 years now and his family made a memorial page to celebrate his life and wanted people to post memories they had of him so they could read them on the anniversary of his death. Well someone started acting like they close and were dating him at the time of his death. That is completely untrue and also she was a bully and was dating someone who bullied him too. I just find it so disgusting that someone wants to take "clout" or some shit by using people's deaths and making them about you.
youre allowed to grieve if someone from your past was brutally murdered, even if it was an ex.... but to do this? this makes me feel very yucky inside .
she's trauma dumping like it's some sort of flex 😭 she starts venting to person in her vicinity, whether it be on tiktok or even in a drive-thru. if she really is doing this for shock factor and clout, it's still fucked up and she should really just stop. i've never heard of this woman in my life, but i appreciate that you brought this stuff to light.
My former fiance was, "terminally injured" at work, early 30s. Yeah it's sad when ppl pass, but I mostly feel bad he couldn't at any point recognize (or care re) the opportunity to at least apologize to some people. He was happily a wolf in sheep's clothing.
it is insane to me, as a person who works in the service industry, that you could just..... casually dump that on someone in a drive-thru. I can only think that she drove away feeling like a saint while the poor person who took her order has to process all of THAT
If she wasn’t trying so hard to thirst trap while talking about her dead husband, I feel like it wouldn’t be as bad
I feel so bad for dive-thru workers! They already get Karens yelling at them, and now they get to deal with unsolicited trauma dumping!
lmao i used to go in the deep freezer and scream
It's nothing new. The trauma dumping was happening over 20 years ago when I worked retail.
Yeah bro one lady proceeded to tell me about her three husbands one time
@@its-a-small-world-afterallsome lady told me in a kohls checkout line that her and her husband were having marital problems and her kids moved out so she and her husband sleep in different rooms in her 12 bedroom mansion. Like girl I don’t get paid enough for that😭
this is like when someone you went to high school with dies and everyone else you went to high school with posts long, sad rip posts on facebook, getting lots of “omg i’m so sorry for your loss” but you *know* half of them didn’t even know the person. but like a thousand times worse.
I mean the person died? Would you rather those people not send condolences? Wtf…
@@user-nx5cl8dk1ksee how fucked up people are? Being nice is bad now.
Imagine dying in such a tragic way and the person you love just starts milking your own death for sympathy 😕
Having to censor "murder" is stupid. CZcams is not doing so good right now.
12:42 As a 17yo bisexual starbucks barista i can confirm it is indeed not my policy to listen to this woman’s rant about her deceased “husband”.
I was similar to this woman before I turned 20. So glad I grew up before I started doing what she's doing. I lied about my own life & other people's parts in it, but to lie about another person's death?? That's an entire new level of dispicable imo, especially with the way he passed. I hope the family has gotten/will find closure.
May I ask why you did that? Not judging you or anything, just curious.
@@futuristic.handgun Attention & care, things I was missing within my household. Also I hadn't developed a significant conscience. The older I got, the more guilty about it I became, until I couldn't handle it anymore and told the truth. Similar to the woman, I took true things and made them worse, except I was using my own problems. I didn't realize I didn't have to do that for my problems to be valid enough on their own. Even for me, there may always be a large amount of confusion over my own behavior, especially because I can't imagine doing it in current day. Closest now is exaggerated complaining when I'm mad lolz.
Same here. It can be very complicated to grow from this behaviour, but it’s worth it. We try to be good people and that’s what separates us from her.
She could’ve explained the truth. Because it can be traumatising when someone not that close to you gets murdered. Just knowing of them or sharing a city can take a toll. But she chose to lie. It doesn’t make her experience or poetry more valid. It would’ve been way more impactful if she stuck to the truth.
you were a teenager. it's forgivable
@@h0t_pock3t Thank you for sharing and I'm glad you were able to grow and self reflect and change the behaviors within yourself that you realized were wrong. That shit is tough. Proud of you. 🤙
Omg I work at Starbucks and she’s actually worse than the irate customers who belittle and dehumanize us everyday
Even I know better than to trauma dump on non professionals they can't fix my problems that barista needs a raise
I had a friend who would trauma dump on me like I don’t mind when people vent to me but she’d do it all the time regardless of what i felt about it and it really is a horrible thing
Straight up. I met this girl once, and literally the second time I ever met her she started trauma dumping without any warning or consent. She started going into graphic details about how she was SAd and all these other things. Straight up for an hour she just kept going and going. I was so shocked and felt bad, but also I don't know you like that and you don't know me or my history. Hearing it all was so triggering for me. Like girl, I'm so sorry that happened but go to therapy. You can't put all that on other people without their consent!
@Oliviaandtrina yeah happened to me too w different people and I didn't know any of them. like I get the need of talking about it w someone but u never know what someone else is going through and that's y therapy exists lol
@@Oliviaandtrina same with the girl I was talking to she would delve into how bad her childhood is and stuff but she had three other therapists in the time span of me being her ‘therapist’ and refused to talk to them
Same, had a friend like that once. Sometimes it wasn't even full on trauma dumping but talking about the same thing over and over while I tried to be supportive and it got exhausting and draining for my mental health. Get therapy, friends are not responsible for your feelings and you should not use them to talk about every little issue and problem in your life
it is so draining and the energy was never reciprocated!! if im having a crisis i wouldnt get a response but i was responsible for calming them down and responding to their vents every time :/
I have family that have been murdered and left in ditches. If someone said this to me at work, the whole “brutally murdered” thing she said. I wouldn’t be able to keep it together. Id have to go home for the day at the very least. She’s so traumatizing. I hate it.
She’s so traumatizing. Clearly you are lying about murdered family. Because those of us with murdered family know making light of trauma is never ok.
Trauma is not a buzz word for you to play with
This is hitting me so wrong. When you lose someone you truly love, advertising it, doesn't cross your mind if you truly have a heart connection. Shes a trashy human.
I think this woman needs a therapist more than a bestseller 💀
I am 1 minute into the video and felt like I got hit by a truck when she said "Oh yea my husband was brutally killed" Girlie, since when did Starbucks require 'counsellor' to get hired?? 😭😭
Imagine it being your first day as a cashier then some woman starts trauma dumping about her dead husband to you
It seems like she is just obsessed with the idea of losing a loved one to murder … especially because she claimed they were married when they possibly weren’t event dating at the time of his death and than wrote a book about it 😟 honestly disturbing
i remember that a fanfic author that I liked ended up posting an actual book that they had orginally meant to write with their termimally ill boyfriend. sadly, he didn't make it, but she still wanted to write a beautiful story based on their experience.
i feel like that was the right way to do something that honored a dead loved one. The author even read the book to him by his grave. I'm gonna go find it and come back.
Edit: Okay, the author's name is Lancali and the book is titled "I Fell In Love With Hope" also I'm pretty sure no happy ending/bittersweet ending, so just watch out.
I work in service and the drive through thing is so common. And I’m just like “okay ma’am…. Did you need room for cream?”
The way cooper just started spinning during the test alarm this man always knows how to make us smile 😭
I have a lot of people "trauma dumping" on me as well, but the difference is that I work at a hospital and have learned how to deal with other people's pain and how to offer comfort when they turn the conversation from "Wishing you happy holidays" to "My brother offed himself last year"
I love that the censoring of murdered in the thumbnail made me think it said “brutally misgendered”
Felt really called as I, was in fact, once a 17 year old bisexual girl working at starbucks.
listen i hate the phrase trauma dumping, it's now overused to the point where people will shit on others for just venting normally (trauma dumping is specifically a manipulation tactic to gain sympathy) but holy hell ive never seen someone overshare that wildly and calmly to a stranger before, and im like the king of tmi.
I don't think defining trauma dumping as exclusively with the intent to manipulate is accurate or fair. Someone assuming a person they regularly vent to is always equipped to handle the mental load of listening and validating not to mention ignoring their own needs for the sake of showing they care on a moment's notice is a classic example of trauma dumping. It doesn't mean the person venting is being abusive or manipulative but they just need to work on checking in if the other person is okay too. Often times it's difficult for a loved one to establish a boundary that doesn't feel like rejection when it comes to big emotional stuff. I don't think a typical lonely 90yo widow is intentionally hurting the waitress at her favorite diner when an innocent conversation leads deeply into detail about her pain when the waitress was not ready for it but she is trauma dumping.
Fellow youtuber / video essay writer Byrony Clare made a really insightful) video (it wasn’t made at the time you wrote this comment, she published it in May 2024. Hope this helps! :)
Working as a minor in customer service I had MULTIPLE people tell me about their s*icide attempts, life regrets, mental break downs, and even admit to abusing their children. None of this I was in anyway prepared to deal with. Please talk to professionals or loved ones because it makes strangers feel like they have to help you when they are not in a situation to do so.
The fact that shes lying about it too is insane
This man is absolutely rolling in his grave every time she trauma dumps to a stranger about his death
She is literally "Sir, this is a Wendy's"
as a starbucks barista people have said stuff like that to me (i’m going to a funeral, my parent is dying in the hospital) but what makes her video different is that she’s using her trauma to affect other people and idolize herself and maybe even romanticize trauma and m***er and it’s a video which shouldn’t have existed in the first place let yourself and others heal the way they need to don’t force it
It’s crazy to me how lots of people don’t automatically pick up on how disingenuous she is or other people making content with the same awful vibe. They’re incredibly gullible. How does that happen to a person where they can’t see it right away? It’s fascinating. As SOON as she starts talking I want to jump out of my skin.
If I were that starbucks employee I would be willing to risk my job just to say "Okay, and?"
I STILL CANT GET OVER HOW HES ATLEAST SIX FOOT., THERES ACTUALLY NO WAY
NOPE HES A SHORT KING
@@LeSxree1376 FRRR HES NOT SIX FOOT HES 5'6 IN MY EYES
@IEatChildernForBreakfast he's 5'3 he told me fr
Saying "And in my... completed book, ready for print," while talking about your DEAD LOVED ONE is such an insane thing it feels like a comedy bit.
I know this girl, we used to be friends. That man wasn't her husband, he was her boyfriend I knew him and it was horrible the way he died. This is nothing new for her, she's been doing this since his death in 2009. She even did this to a cop to get out of a ticket/arrested. She has been through a lot but that's no reason to trauma dump on strangers and use a loved ones murder for money.
The saddest part is that if she had to choose between her “husband” being alive or being an influencer. She would pick the influencer.
She so disconnected from reality, it’s heartbreaking
I absolutely love the turning in circles when the alert started on ur phone..that's exactly what I pictured conspiracy theory addicts did honestly
I wish more people asked for consent before trauma dumping. Like, sometimes other people don't have the mental energy to deal with that.
This reminds me of how a cockatiel will get obsessed with its own reflection and just start chirping to itself.
It’s the simulation of mourning whilst dropping the Amazon link for her book . This is the dystopian future I was worried about.
her writing a book made me think of kouri richins- the woman wrote a children’s picture book after the death of her husband(she did it but that’s irrelevant here obviously) she went on shows and stuff to promote it which blows my mind and she had the same demeanor when talking about her book
Honestly, people will just…say whatever to retail workers. I once had a woman tell me that her sister died and she saw her being taken up to heaven as she went.
That was a super fun shift.
"Yes yes yes. Manipulation so good." Made me audibly laugh, so thanks, Coop.
I cannot get over the Starbucks worker trauma dump like that changed my whole brain chem
Most people who actually have experienced trauma like that don’t want to be defined by it.
Schokking right? Who would have known…
I thought this was going to be about the woman who wrote a book about her late husband for her kids....then was convicted of his murder!
Me: **typing out how losing a loved one can mentally change and destroy someone. Trying to cut her some slack**
Cooper: that's not her husband and it happened 13 years ago.
Me: **deletes everything**
Omg! I thought it was crass but it happened 13 years ago. Imagine his family n friends etc spending 14 years coming to terms with it all only for this heffer to start making books and tiktoks.
Her crusade for attention is exactly how people attempt to promote some ridiculous MLM.
Side note the necklaces are AMAZING quality! I ordered the Tiger Shadow one and wear it all the time. It's heavy enough you know it's good quality, but light enough it's very comfortable to wear!
the national alert happening during your filming is so iconic 😭
this is how i feel when im having a bad day i cant even lie- like- this girl is what it feels like
As a 17 year old bisexual girl that works at Starbucks, can confirm this type of stuff happens all the time.
they trauma dump on a BISEXUAL? so homophobic
Thank you for your service
What you being bisexual has anything do with it ? lol
@@MrAjking808 because that’s what he said in the video.
Yep, all evidence suggests that she is using the horrific death of a man she once dated over a decade ago, but not when he was killed, to attract attention and shamelessly promote her book of poetry. The whole “what does husband really mean.” Bullshit… I’m sure his death was difficult for her, and that’s normal, but she is taking advantage of a tragedy for financial gain…
That’s supervillain 101
She could've gone to therapy and then written a book about her experiencing grief over an ex (with the family's oversight and consent). Thatd be actually interesting.
I just got finished binging literally every single video of yours that I could and now there’s new content? Let’s fucking go :)
LOVE when that happens 💖
Omg same!
your reaction to the alert killed me xD
She says “brutal” so much, that I genuinely thought it was a parody of someone. Then I found out she was being completely serious, and it made my stomach hurt a little.
On the topic of people spilling their stories while buying groceries, I have a story like that from when I was little. The sweetest person I’ve ever met was a retail worker! As a 4 year old, and even now, I LOVED Aristocats! So, at a Home Depot, when I found a tiny Marie plushie the size of my palm, I was over the moon, especially since Marie was my favorite character! We were fairly poverty stricken, and my mum didn’t have the money, however, so little me almost had to put it back….. so the teenager working the register gave my mum a secret discount. We barely had enough to get by, and this guy snuck us a discount. It wasn’t even allowed, but I was overjoyed. I carried it with me everywhere and slept with it every night. I still have it :)
This is the sweetest story I've heard about a store oml, I hope you're doing well
It’s crazy how someone can do this 😢 feel so bad for the family .
The title grabbed me and the content nearly broke my neck; holy HECK.
1:10 why is she trauma dumping on some poor fast food worker?? the ultimate "ma'am this is a wendy's"
I had a girl in my friendship group who lied about knowing a girl who died at our highschool to get attention and get out of doing work (so she could go to the counsellor). It's really sickening to use such a horrible incident for promo, attention and sympathy.