Video není dostupné.
Omlouváme se.

Top 10 Bizarre Behaviors of a Narcissist

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 18. 08. 2024
  • In today's video Jill talks about some of the bizarre and annoying behaviors of a Narcissist.
    Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
    If you are interested in private Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching with Jill , please visit her website
    payhip.com/The...
    or send her an email at theenlightenedtarget@gmail.com. She conducts face to face meetings on the computer using zoom or over the phone. Many times getting the help and support from a professional who has lived through this is a necessary step to healing.
    Group Coaching on Wednesday Evenings, please visit her website to reserve your spot: payhip.com/The...
    Purchase a copy of Jill's Ebook: What are the specific personality and character traits narcissists look for in a target and how they are able to exploit and manipulate these traits.
    payhip.com/b/nwID
    To connect with an online licensed therapist, the link below will direct you to BetterHelp where you can find a qualified therapist and receive therapy from the comfort of your home.
    Please click on this link to get connected:
    www.betterhelp...
    Jill is sponsored by BetterHelp and receives a small commission on referrals. She only recommends services that she trusts.
    Donations are very much appreciated.
    paypal.me/TheE...
    Follow me on Instagram
    / the_enlightened_target
    This channel is for educational purposes ONLY.

Komentáře • 367

  • @gloriadonahue7241
    @gloriadonahue7241 Před 2 lety +81

    "They love the ability they have to irritate and frustrate people."
    That describes narcissistic people 100%.

    • @AB-bl1fb
      @AB-bl1fb Před 2 lety +2

      Yes! They love to irritate, upset, or anger their victims. My mother, as soon as she knows that something would inconvenience us or upset us if she does it, THAT EXACT THING, is what she will do over and over again to bother us. When I see my husband telling her “please don’t do this or that” I already know IT was a mistake!

  • @realhealing7802
    @realhealing7802 Před 2 lety +72

    They don't answer questions. They will ask you more questions or talk about something completely off the topic. It's a waste of your time trying to get answers from a narcissist.

    • @michellefarris3961
      @michellefarris3961 Před 2 lety +11

      They'd lie anyway.

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety +5

      I see that it can be a sign of a Narcissist, that they don't answer questions, a person I have dealt wt before Cristmas, I have wondered if she's a Narcissist and I think I get the answer now bcs she didn't answer questions ‼️To don't get answers on your questions, can be one of the red flags of a Narcissist, I know a woman who's a Narcissist and have thought it's strange that she don't answer questions ‼️I think they get a feeling of control and get supply, when they don't answer questions, it's impossible to have a friendship wt ppl like that, who plays a power-game wt you ‼️

    • @lindarusch9660
      @lindarusch9660 Před 2 lety +5

      When I questioned my former husband, a covert malignant narcissist, he would deflect with a question. He was NOT going to answer, no matter what.

    • @michellefarris3961
      @michellefarris3961 Před 2 lety +3

      @@lindarusch9660 My family did this. A lot of narcs are involved with very unsavory projects that they keep secret. They basically have double lives.

    • @theway9828
      @theway9828 Před 2 lety +2

      On par with reasoning with a 2 year old

  • @motorcityblacksheep121
    @motorcityblacksheep121 Před 2 lety +64

    May I add an 11th odd behavior? That smirk they make when they’ve pulled something. The dupers delight look. Ugh.

    • @praveensonga541
      @praveensonga541 Před 2 lety +6

      Exactly!

    • @AB-bl1fb
      @AB-bl1fb Před 2 lety +2

      So true! When I first told my mom after a visit to the doctor, that I came out with High Blood Pressure, and had to take medication, I saw that diabolical smile in her face. I still see after many years that scary face, and being that I was always troubling myself with an unending stack of ‘do this and that’ for her, including that same day.

    • @motorcityblacksheep121
      @motorcityblacksheep121 Před 2 lety +1

      @@AB-bl1fb I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Personally, I thought it was just me she’d do this to, but no. My oldest child and a cousin brought up how she made this look to them on quite a few occasions and only then did I realize. Mine denies all, while smirking…

    • @heavenlygrandma9992
      @heavenlygrandma9992 Před 2 lety +3

      My husband thinks I do not see that look. But it's involuntary. The body language does not lie. They can lie with their words, but the body does not lie.
      I've never let him know that I notice that look. Never tell them you know what their tells are.
      I'll be so glad when all this crap is out of my life.

    • @motorcityblacksheep121
      @motorcityblacksheep121 Před 2 lety +1

      @@heavenlygrandma9992 for sure, just keep it in your back pocket. As soon as they know you know, they up their cruelty

  • @prfu1222
    @prfu1222 Před 2 lety +75

    She once gave me socks for Christmas. And turned around a few weeks later to remind me of all the socks I have. Lol. I look back and laugh at all the wild things my ex would do.🤣😂🤣😂 And she is so covert that others do not see it. She is a master manipulator.

    • @allennorman1628
      @allennorman1628 Před 2 lety +9

      I feel you. No one believes me. I got video now of her sneaking some dude out of the house at 7 16 am. She swears on her child's life that I'm crazy and she wouldn't do that. She has jesus! Lol! Yeah, the word is diabolical! I with ya!

    • @prfu1222
      @prfu1222 Před 2 lety +10

      @@allennorman1628 The thing with narcs is you don't see it until it is too late.

    • @frankd.brennan6520
      @frankd.brennan6520 Před 2 lety +8

      Watch out for the stealing because they are kleptomaniacs and often have criminal records and are masters at keeping it all secret

    • @prfu1222
      @prfu1222 Před 2 lety +5

      @@frankd.brennan6520 My nick name for the ex is 'Secret Squirrel'.

    • @allennorman1628
      @allennorman1628 Před 2 lety +3

      Yep. Found out she can't help stealing. Cheating lying etc.. mens bathrooms in Walmart. Scandalous.

  • @peterknyk1942
    @peterknyk1942 Před 2 lety +73

    Talking to herself, walking in front of me, (made me feel submissive), constant criticism or "ragging". fake sincerity in serious discussions, don't like losing especiallyin court, vague responses for sure especially with money, and they live hypocrisy and lie a lot... wow! What an amazing video today, Jill! Thank you so much!

    • @alonzomosley7
      @alonzomosley7 Před 2 lety

      Sounds exactly like my ex

    • @AZDC99
      @AZDC99 Před 2 lety

      I had an ex he did that and it made me feel exactly the same. So I couldn't help but the notice the anger when I stepped it up there was walking ahead of her. (No one was GONNA make me look like their weak little follower in public!) Funny how slack they could be about their walking piece at other times. 20/20 hindsight shows that they were trying to send a message that they were dominating me to strangers

  • @zareththealchemist8982
    @zareththealchemist8982 Před 2 lety +18

    Or if you try to even get a word in edgewise, they blameshift to you and accuse YOU of interruptions. So yeah, I experience that all. the. time.

  • @Laura-dz9om
    @Laura-dz9om Před 2 lety +31

    Yes, the walking way ahead of you is so irritating. When we got married, I would say why are you walking ahead of me, it's rude. He would be instantly mad. Or say," You walk too slow, you need to keep up with me." I heard that over and over again. There's no way I could keep up with him and he is always in a hurry.

    • @DavidDrummondTX
      @DavidDrummondTX Před 2 lety +3

      Mine has always done that. As I get older it's even more frustrating because I have a hip going bad and can't even walk as fast as I used to and she still does it. Just runs off and leaves me in a store, scooting around doing "her" shopping. I used to spend half my time just trying to figure out where she ran off to. These days, I just go and get the things I need. She comes around to the basket and puts her stuff in and goes and gets more, but I'm doing giving any cares about it. Let her run all over the store like a little squirrel gathering nuts.

    • @jolly7728
      @jolly7728 Před 2 lety +2

      @@DavidDrummondTX Yep. I understand. My adult children are the same way. When we're out and about, they walk quickly. They'll look back at me and say, "Come on, Dad," and then continue on their way. Slowing down with me can make them appear elderly and "un-cool." That's okay, I suppose. They're my precious children, and if that's the worst thing they've done, it's time for a celibration!

    • @emmaharper860
      @emmaharper860 Před 2 lety +2

      Mines was exactly the same way. Leaving me behind

    • @barbnauman705
      @barbnauman705 Před 2 lety +1

      My adult child has walked in front of me for years-it was modeled to her by her father- my ex husband, who was so self absorbed and completely disrespectful to me as his wife.

    • @alonzomosley7
      @alonzomosley7 Před 2 lety +3

      It seems so petty the walking in front business.But it is a huge red flag to major behavioural problems .

  • @salonsavy6476
    @salonsavy6476 Před 2 lety +8

    I checked off the entire list !!,,, I’m so glad I left 17 months ago!,,,

  • @sarahjustsarah3640
    @sarahjustsarah3640 Před 2 lety +24

    Holy crap, the gift giving!!! My mother is a master of this. One Christmas, she gave me a laptop. It wasn't one she'd paid for -- it was something she didn't need, that she'd gotten for free. I didn't care, and I quickly fell in love with it. I made the mistake of telling her how happy I was and mentioning all the writing I'd done on it -- about 700,000 words in just a few months -- and she asked... BUT DO YOU DO ONLINE WITH IT??? And I explained that no, I couldn't get that to work just yet. She replied... IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO USE IT, I WANT IT BACK. I explained again how much I loved it and how much I used it, and she said IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO USE IT, GIVE IT BACK. Finally, she agreed that I could keep it... but that it would also be my birthday present.
    She also loves to give me shorts when she knows I don't wear them because of insecurity about my body. She especially loves to give me any clothing that is white because she knows I don't wear white (I inherited my father's clumsiness, and if it's white, it's going to get red sauce of some kind on it). One year she sent me a present, and the husband and I took bets on whether it was something white or shorts. It was both. We collapsed into a pile and laugh-cried until we couldn't breathe.
    Other hilarious clothing she's given me: a frilly flannel nightgown/circus tent that looked like it had come from Little House On The Prairie and took up an entire drawer to itself; a sweater that looked like the love child of My Little Pony and the Carebears if they'd all been on acid; a frilly blue shirt that was so baggy and large, it looked like a mumu. I kept it in my closet and made a fake shrine to it. I told everyone I'd converted to mu-monism.

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 Před 2 lety +3

      Perhaps if she has friends, she is close with you should tag alone wearing one of the ridiculous gifts be passive aggressive make a point you don't care for it polity at the same time you want to make your mom happy because you care about your mom and love her too much to tell her she has bad taste. Gain their respect by coming off as an amazing charitable person that would do anything for family then slip in in a passive way of the nice things your mom has done.

    • @caracopland710
      @caracopland710 Před 2 lety +2

      Hilarious. Fantastic your hubby can laugh and guess with you.

    • @taniamachin766
      @taniamachin766 Před 2 lety +1

      This is like the best narc story I've ever read 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂👏👍 The narcs themselves are the gifts that keeps on giving

    • @helen9412
      @helen9412 Před 2 lety

      Thank you so much for this laugh 🤣😂😂😂😂i literally couldn’t even breathe reading your post. My mom does ridiculous stuff like this too

  • @thornarts2130
    @thornarts2130 Před 2 lety +17

    Every single time I hear someone talk about the gift-giving thing, it is healing. Every Christmas, every birthday of my childhood was an exercise in enduring malignant gift-giving. Thank you, Jill.

  • @smoothandchunky1
    @smoothandchunky1 Před 2 lety +24

    What about someone who regularly disappoints you? The level of effort is low or zero and they never seem to be for you or whatever you have going on. What is that??

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Před 2 lety +12

      It is the systematic lowering of your expectations. All part of their manipulative abuse.

    • @smoothandchunky1
      @smoothandchunky1 Před 2 lety +3

      I believe it is a form of them trying to manipulate, but my expectations remain the same.

    • @mattdonna9677
      @mattdonna9677 Před 2 lety +4

      It is to degrade and control you. From that they feel power over you.

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety +2

      A selfish person, just like a Narcissist ‼️

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 Před 2 lety +44

    I love it! Jill you nailed it! I used to just think he was stupid as he never remembers conversations we had. It turns out he just NEVER 👎🏼 listened

    • @laurelvance5533
      @laurelvance5533 Před 2 lety +3

      Exactly

    • @lynettecaballero1660
      @lynettecaballero1660 Před 2 lety +6

      Yes,,,too self absorbed ,makes u feel that u don't matter,not important to feed their ego to feel superior. Just messed up in their heads.

    • @peterknyk1942
      @peterknyk1942 Před 2 lety +4

      Yup! I always wondered why she was unable to remember conversations! Hmmm! I bet that's what was going on! Lol! 😱

    • @vononymous8054
      @vononymous8054 Před 2 lety

      She Always does,friend:)!

    • @peterknyk1942
      @peterknyk1942 Před 2 lety +2

      @@vononymous8054 yes! Marital vows included....

  • @karennichols9939
    @karennichols9939 Před 2 lety +4

    #11..they will FORGET! Lets say he's going to the store for something for HIM. You ask him to PLEASE grab WHATEVER: It will 100% be forgotten. EVERY TIME!!!

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 Před 2 lety +22

    Omg my ex. used to walk in front of me ALWAYS- unless others like co workers were around! Then he’d be doting
    Yes he was a chronic interruptor but, if i did that to him, he’d get pissed 😡.
    My narc ex. Never spoke out-loud but; I could see it in his eyes, spooling up for making an argument while driving & scare me to death with his reckless driving.
    Bingo that’s him NO TIME or, Complete Meddler & ruin any issue

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 Před 2 lety +1

      Funny you mention reckless driving is that a common sign of narcs the ones I met were reckless speeding yelling about other drivers cursing over red lights.

    • @mattdonna9677
      @mattdonna9677 Před 2 lety +1

      @@bunnyboo6295 ha ha, the narcissist I know does the same. Short temper all the time looking for anyone to unload and rage on. Just like a bratty child.

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 Před 2 lety +1

      @@mattdonna9677 Karen Lynch might have point out a very important red flag wonder why reckless angry driven haven't been added to any vids

  • @lynettecaballero1660
    @lynettecaballero1660 Před 2 lety +16

    Oh my...i hurt my back helping him shovel as I paid another to shovel mine. I had to cancel a trip over Christmas we had planned together cuz I was so hurt.He left me alone, with a hurting back. And then blamed me ,played victim for leaving him alone on the trip with no cares that he left me hurt and alone. He will actually admit he needs to be right,win as he makes me wrong,invalidates me,makes me wrong.doesnt answer questions directly..just too selfcentered,messed up,doesn't even know how to love anything but money,anything for ego sake to build his low self esteem.in the end..its really All about them. They don't really love you,they love what you do to please them. Love yourself, pleasing them will never get the healthy,godly love we need.

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 Před 2 lety +8

    Yep 👍🏼 he’s competitive & sore loser, he’ll cheat. Or take unfair advantage

    • @michellefarris3961
      @michellefarris3961 Před 2 lety

      It all goes with the entitlement and bulldozing boundaries. They are obnoxious beyond telling.

    • @emmarae4322
      @emmarae4322 Před 8 měsíci

      Even board games.😂

  • @rayarena879
    @rayarena879 Před 2 lety +6

    OMG, yes! Regarding the gift giving, I asked malignant narc who was going on vacation to bring me back a little souvenir (I had gotten souvenirs for him when I was on vacation) and he flat out told me NO, unless I did a really big favor for him first. He literally wanted me to set him up with someone he wanted to sleep with!!! In essense, he thought it was fair for me to become his pimp! Mind you, I knew before hand that he was going to the store that sold the trinket! I had even said that I would reimburse him! That was the wake up call after years of devaluation, gaslighting, narc rages, etc... I've gone no contact with him.

  • @petermautner7052
    @petermautner7052 Před 2 lety +7

    Narcs want to be in control. I believe it stems from environment. Growing up . Yes I have noticed them talking to selves in car . My brother the golden child excelled . He inadvertently married a high achieving narc . In his 36 year marriage I saw the pain on my brother's face . He married wrong person. His wife banished, ostracized and estranged me . Thank you.

  • @Imnotyourdoormat
    @Imnotyourdoormat Před 2 lety +12

    Almost Any Student of Study can learn the in-and-out basic ballistics of these hobgoblins, but a seasoned veteran like Jill can show how to read between the lines, for total confirmation that many may miss....

  • @t.l.7733
    @t.l.7733 Před 2 lety +34

    Nailed every one. When my narc boss would lead his mtgs...he would always let the audience know that all Q & A will be at the back end of our mtg. Without fail, he would intentionally speak with half delivered instruction, news, & facts, hoarding information. Naturally, we'd have lots of questions. Every single time someone would ask a question, he would say 1 of 2 comments 1) "we'll talk off line about that. Come see me in my office. Which he knew no one would ever do that & therefore, off the hook. 2) "I'll check into it" which he would never do. The beauty w/ that line is he offers no date to get back with you. If you reach out to him, he stonewalls you. When we reach out to HR expressing our frustrations, they say " you need to talk to him about it," During an in person mtg. @ a coffee shop w/ my direct mgr.( boss's flying monkey) I mentioned I had tried to call him over 12 times regarding questions. Never heard back. Mgr.'s response was " it may take you 1,000 calls to reach me..just keep trying. (" It took every fiber in my body not to throw scolding hot coffee in his face) I said since I have you here, I'll ask you now. He said no, call me.

  • @mikehartel3968
    @mikehartel3968 Před 2 lety +14

    Thank you for informing us on narcissistic behaviors.

  • @davidhinkson8856
    @davidhinkson8856 Před 2 lety +13

    When you mentioned always walking ahead of you, my narc wife used the "Ladies first" excuse even though she was anything but a lady!

  • @smoothandchunky1
    @smoothandchunky1 Před 2 lety +6

    Inconvenience...yes this happens constantly.

  • @csh43166
    @csh43166 Před 2 lety +21

    If I was standing in a group of people at an event talking, my ex would, without fail, see me, step in front of me to push me behind him, and start talking. I'm also glad to hear that it was my not imagination as to the extend of his hypocrisy. And he took great pleasure in sharing little inside secrets about me or some dumb thing I said or did to humiliate me. If I'd have done that to him, he would have blown a gasket. Thanks always, Jill, for sharing your insights with us. Turns out we really aren't the "crazy" ones... ❤

    • @icpoms
      @icpoms Před 2 lety +4

      Wow, I can relate to that! Thanks for sharing.

    • @catlady6938
      @catlady6938 Před 2 lety +1

      I can resonate with this too, if I had done or said some of the things my ex did he would have gone mad, but it was ok or so he thought for him to do it.

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety

      My mother have done that to me, began to talk to others so I couldn't talk to them, I have been Scapegoated also as an adult, and I was the only speaker of truth in the family‼️My sister who was the Golden child, became an Narcissist as my parents‼️

    • @ragacats
      @ragacats Před 2 lety +2

      My ex pushed in front of me too! Blocked my participation in the conversation. Of course he had to dominate the topic and every person there. It was so bizarre at first I just watched in shock. Then he did it again and again. Got rid of him

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety

      @@ragacats My mother used to do that in later years, Narcissists gets worse as older they get‼️They are selfish and want's all the attension, they are in lack of empathy and don't do love ‼️

  • @hedonismbot3274
    @hedonismbot3274 Před 2 lety +13

    One of the first red flags i ignored was : she interrupted me about 15 times in an hour. Asked me a question. Did not wait for an answer just interrupt my first sentence. Talked an hour alone. And then she told me i should stop interrupting her and I talk so much.

    • @allennorman1628
      @allennorman1628 Před 2 lety +1

      Lol. Sounds familiar. She gets on opiates and can't shut up.

    • @hedonismbot3274
      @hedonismbot3274 Před 2 lety

      @@allennorman1628 she needed nothing. But with an energy drink it definitely got worse xD

    • @john7148
      @john7148 Před 2 lety +1

      The irony of their "complaints" are maddening. 🤪

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety +1

      Narcissists blames others for what they do themselvs ‼️

    • @katherinegruber499
      @katherinegruber499 Před 3 měsíci +1

      My mom always talked over me or talked for me. When she came over my house once I told her I didn’t appreciate that and she threatened to leave my house and not help me out with my kids. Cut her off and now I have an amazing nanny ❤

  • @drumdad54sdl47
    @drumdad54sdl47 Před 2 lety +3

    The giving of gifts is usually followed by reminders of their generosity & how ungrateful you are. 😑

  • @msher33
    @msher33 Před 2 lety +1

    Now I understand why my brother is always walking as fast as possible walking in front of me and making fun of me for not being as fast as him

  • @jackierobinson8785
    @jackierobinson8785 Před 2 lety +4

    Bingo on all of the above. But walking in front of me was the bell ringer. He would be so ahead of me at times he would literally disappear. And if his enmeshed sister was in the mix he would always always default to walking with her. And if I needed his help like in the snow or stairs I would have to keep calling his name until he would reappear again glaring at me with his trade mark stink eye! I was invisible, ignored, and felt like a weeping child lost in a crowd. And he loved every minute of it especially if I tearfully complained. But that was then, now I know better. Thank you for another stepping stone insight...

  • @Lisa-ie4eh
    @Lisa-ie4eh Před 2 lety +15

    Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us!

  • @polarbear5905
    @polarbear5905 Před 2 lety +11

    Yup, all of the above and it's exhausting. I discovered your channel relatively recently and it has been so valuable in making sense of my past marriage, some dynamics with close family and friends, enablers/flying monkeys, childhood experiences and parental alienation. Thank you so much for being brave enough to help others like myself. Much appreciated to say the least! Best wishes.

  • @nokotose7127
    @nokotose7127 Před 2 lety +1

    I was given a magazine by my Sister-in-law narc at my surprise birthday party. How nice!

  • @catlady6938
    @catlady6938 Před 2 lety +6

    I can relate to most of these things. My ex gave me a bracelet once the only gift he ever gave me which was in the beginning as part of the love bombing, then many months later he told me he had got his ex the same one, he had forgotten he bought me one too, he probably had a job lot of them for each supply.

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 Před 2 lety +7

    Lol 😂 i used to Say my Ex & his family’s last name should be “hypocrite”!!!!

  • @TheNoisePolluter
    @TheNoisePolluter Před 2 lety +1

    #1. The Gift "Giving" part in my experience;
    1. They may never actually "give" you the gift, but expect to have part-ownership in that item and will often use or "borrow" it for their use, where even sometimes they will borrow or use that gift so often that they'll just end up keeping it, because you're not using it as often as they expect you to or they will act like their life depends on needing that item and will intrusively swindle it back.
    2. They will often give you a gift out of the blue with the hidden motive of demanding an inconveniencing favor in return and will threaten to take the gift away if you don't follow through with their demands & expectations.
    2-POINT-5. They may try to give you something as a gift you don't really need, where they will aggressively keep insisting for you to accept it. And of course they'll want something in return, either a favor, item or to just be heavily thanked & praised for their "kind" gesture and will also try to guilt you.
    3. They won't get you a gift all together, because you're more financially stable than they are and often wager out that it would not be fair for them to spend a good portion of their funds on you, when it would be little to no cost for you to just get that item yourself...(They're also very nosey about other people's finances.)
    3-POINT-5. They didn't get you a gift, because things have been really "hectic" lately and they didn't have a single moment to shop around.
    4. They will often ask you throughout the year how you're liking and enjoying the gift and often add in silly exaggerated suggestions or tips on how to fully utilize the item to make your life better.
    4-POINT-5. Years down the road they'll ask if you still have that gift they got and if you don't have it anymore(because it broke etc.) they'll express frustration and demand a full explanation as to what happened to it.
    5. They may get you something completely silly, cheap or just very odd and then make up a pathological-lying story as to why they think it would be perfect for you.

  • @bumblebee803
    @bumblebee803 Před 2 lety +4

    To a T. Perfectly said. What a life to live with awful narcs. So sad.

  • @kingtiger836
    @kingtiger836 Před 2 lety +5

    Absolutely brilliant, and I concur with every word you said, because I have a lot of practice, as I live with narcissists, and they have decimated my entire family, as most of them are narcissists. They are truly pathetic people.

  • @aaronweatherson4379
    @aaronweatherson4379 Před 2 lety +2

    ...even more important than them WINNING, is you/me LOSING...

  • @lynettecaballero1660
    @lynettecaballero1660 Před 2 lety +6

    A great one.spot on
    They will also give you gifts to serve them.mine gave me an instapot so I would cook more and serve him.

  • @terrapintravels3829
    @terrapintravels3829 Před 2 lety +14

    My narc husband did give me a dress as a gift which was way too small for me. I left all the many gifts and loving cards there when I left because I figured the gifts were some sort of manipulation. Many times I would get gifts the day after his bout of silent treatment or rage while I was still trying to process what had happened the day before. I was certainly not ready to accept a gift as I was emotionally hurting.
    Sometimes he would talk under his breath, "I have a cook!" "Marriage is hard!"
    Or make quiet insulting statements near my ear. One time he held his breath like a kid and told me I gave him an aneurism, he's in his 60s, Creepy!

    • @lynettecaballero1660
      @lynettecaballero1660 Před 2 lety +3

      So sorry that u experienced that. I have too. They do use gifts as manipulation to get their way. Delay holidays to hurt you,feel in control. It's not godly or healthy love. They lose much,it's twisted,,,they fulfill their not feeling good enough,not worthy,,,,projected onto us.

    • @terrapintravels3829
      @terrapintravels3829 Před 2 lety +2

      @@lynettecaballero1660 I am sorry you experienced this too. And you are right about holidays.💗

    • @DavidDrummondTX
      @DavidDrummondTX Před 2 lety +1

      I shredded all those little love bomb things. After 21 years there were very few. They were poorly written pieces of fiction, no reason to keep them.

    • @jackierobinson8785
      @jackierobinson8785 Před 2 lety +1

      The nearer to death they are the more sentimental they become in their delusional manipulations. Signing the gift card this Christmas with his name and that of my beloved dog gone these many years was epic. He hated my 18 pound dog. So much so that he uses the burial site as a place to hoard another one of his rotting wood piles. They on their best day forget who they are talking to. And that we too are capable of keeping score...

    • @bunnyboo6295
      @bunnyboo6295 Před 2 lety

      @@lynettecaballero1660 I had one that told me he doesn't do birthday yet wanted me over for some holiday in his faith. A friend called invited to take me to dinner, but I was stuck at boring invent he respond over me being bum out I tried to be happy for him but felt like a miss out on a fun night. The narc bf had the nerve to say my friends better treat me another day because they are friends, and they should. He also went nuts for a female friends b day buying a box of small gifts and wanted to spend the evening with her watching movies having drinks hum don't do B days. Expects others to treat me but he wouldn't even spend a dollar on me and was mad at the idea that I said I likely miss be taking out he yelled about my friends should I pointed out why didn't he take me a few days before or after Oh he didn't think of that.

  • @spiritoftheforest6204
    @spiritoftheforest6204 Před 2 lety +4

    I need to get away from him

  • @lafemmepetunia
    @lafemmepetunia Před 2 lety

    Today is a major success and break through for me. I must share that I've struggled with blocking him from my phone. I thought maybe he'll come back and apologize and things will be different. So I kept hope, the possibility of keeping in touch with him to maybe reconcile. But I finally got the courage to block him just this morning. I don't know of it was the dream I had that we got back together and his behavior was blatantly worse and unembarrassingly, openly cheating on me in front of me that I woke up saying never again or if it was a combo of coming across and seeing your videos this morning. Please keep going, you are helping so many people! Thank you!

  • @shereeholland172
    @shereeholland172 Před 2 lety +1

    Sabotage things you like, prefer or enjoy! Silent treatment! Emotional cripples needing constant propping up! And, put downs!

  • @vononymous8054
    @vononymous8054 Před 2 lety +6

    As I listen to your truthful words, my antagonists stamp ,drop,slam and bam above me. Your vid is an excellent source of enlightenment and I know it is NOT ME!!!! God Bless you JW WW 💪🏻🙂

  • @dwddavidsway4701
    @dwddavidsway4701 Před 6 měsíci

    The more I watch, the more I learn . . . Your observations of these unbehaved behaviors is uncanny to say the very least, like you were her best friend knowing her every twitch . . .
    Peace and blessings, Jill!
    ~Dwd~

  • @tmt8268
    @tmt8268 Před 2 lety

    I'm glad you mentioned the walking thing. People who want to bond will try to stay beside you. This would be a good test for your next love interest. 👍

  • @thatclover123
    @thatclover123 Před 2 lety

    i remember he used to walk ahead of me like he was ashamed of me, like he didn’t want to be associated with me, it was hurtful and made me feel small.

  • @theyrekrnations8990
    @theyrekrnations8990 Před 2 lety +1

    . I have had the experience of them walking "behind" in order to slow down and hinder and frustrate

  • @gloriadonahue7241
    @gloriadonahue7241 Před 2 lety +2

    I was standing in line at the grocery store telling my narc husband that we needed to get certain things for the kids lunches next week. He had a box of cigarettes in his hand and was looking at the bottom of the box of cigarettes. He looked up at me and said "look at this tax stamp on the bottom of the cigarette box." And began talking about the tax stamp on the bottom of the cigarette box. I needed to discuss the kids lunches for next week while we were there in the grocery store but he couldn't hear a word I was saying. Nothing could be as interesting as that tax stamp. Now there's a mind-numbing conversation.

  • @laurelvance5533
    @laurelvance5533 Před 2 lety +3

    Right on target. Thank you

  • @m.f.richardson1602
    @m.f.richardson1602 Před 2 lety +4

    I finally figured this out with my NM.
    This is all true for her.
    Peace 💕🇺🇲

  • @arthurkluver
    @arthurkluver Před 2 lety +2

    Absolutely Great!

  • @navydogsadventures3500
    @navydogsadventures3500 Před 2 lety +4

    I always get gifts she knows I really won't like! PS I love me some Jill!🤗

  • @msher33
    @msher33 Před 2 lety

    This is spot on in describing my mom, her brothers and my brother

  • @sherwoodyoder830
    @sherwoodyoder830 Před 2 lety +1

    Experienced them all!!!
    Except covert narc ex always walked a step behind my pace. Same pace, one step behind. Always made me wait for her every chance she got!
    Luv ya, Jill!
    You're the best!

  • @millyardopeacecraft9778

    Your videos are the thing that keeps my mind at ease.

  • @peterknyk1942
    @peterknyk1942 Před 2 lety +3

    Oooh! I can't wait for this!💞

  • @cp9023
    @cp9023 Před 2 lety +3

    My ex gave me his deceased first wife's engagement ring asked me to pay for the new setting when he asked for my hand in marriage. Ugh!

  • @wishIwuzskiing
    @wishIwuzskiing Před 2 lety +1

    The "walking ahead" was quite a frustrating habit when we would go out with the family particularly in a city environment. It felt like it was a race and made it clear that she was the one in charge of where we were going.

  • @tetyanalisovska7196
    @tetyanalisovska7196 Před 2 lety +1

    Bravo, Jill!!! ♥️

  • @Katie_Woo
    @Katie_Woo Před 2 lety

    I experienced something so bizarre- he'd preach complete honesty and say he'd rather have the truth from me even if it stung, as he claimed he would always give me the truth.
    His version of the truth and honesty was being rude and having no tact, but when I gave him a tactful piece of truth it was seen as a sign for him to call me cruel and selfish or go on a text rant for 2 hours verbally tearing me apart.
    Yeah "honesty" was only a good thing in his eyes if it was coming from him.

  • @SarahDale111
    @SarahDale111 Před 2 lety +3

    Mine would slow way down and lag behind and then rage at me for running away from him. So much insanity! 😖

    • @anid7777
      @anid7777 Před 2 lety +1

      Sometimes they do that so they can check out every female without the wife knowing. The sick, lustful womanizers of course. They like to stare down every woman.

    • @SarahDale111
      @SarahDale111 Před 2 lety

      @@anid7777 Oh...that makes sense, though he was probably ogling my own behind. 😝

    • @Wdeane1957
      @Wdeane1957 Před 2 lety

      👍 my narc ex-wife used to do that. She'd refuse to walk next to me as "it takes up room" and would make me walk in front. She'd then constantly stop to "browse" and accuse me of not paying attention and leaving her standing. You cannot win - no matter what you do it will be wrong.

  • @kylej741
    @kylej741 Před 2 lety +2

    “I gave you something you didn’t ask for and don’t need. NOW LOVE ME”

  • @kymchessall7853
    @kymchessall7853 Před 2 lety +2

    How True! Thank You

  • @asaltweapon1741
    @asaltweapon1741 Před 2 lety +1

    I turned down his last gift and boy was he SHOCKED. We went for a walk before this incident and walked ahead of me.
    Hell to the no.

  • @susanbarnyak7393
    @susanbarnyak7393 Před 2 lety +6

    I love your heart. You are so sweet! Thank you for your videos. Number 11. How about that bizarre crazy smile where their face is frozen from the cheeks upward. I tried to do that myself in the mirror. It is so unnatural and bizzare. Just another narc in the vicinity warning for everyone.

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety

      You are talking about the smile of a Narcissist I know, I have always wondered about her smile that where not normal‼️

  • @lafemmepetunia
    @lafemmepetunia Před 2 lety

    Oh my gosh! You are so spot on with each one of these! More people need to be warned about such a horrible personality disorder. Thanks for your videos. At this point, thank goodness, I walked away months ago and now see this as humorous because each one happened to me. My favorite being, #9, when I would ask him a question about his whereabouts, when he wouldn't answer his phone and disappear for hours (cheating, obvious to me now but he would of course always deny when i would ask him if there was someone else) but his response would always be, *What do you mean?" How simple and straightforward is, "Where were you?"
    At the end of the day, I have learned it is all about self love. So if I allowed this man in my life to manipulate, control and abuse me it was because I had not learned to love myself first, to put myself first to not allow this behavior to continue, lack of boundaries doing everything to please him and his double standards. He once accused me of not being at work because I came home to shower first. He said you never do that. I should have known better and realized he was accusing me of something he was doing. No wonder he always came home and showered. So many difficult lessons learned. If you're in a narcissistic relationship, please get help and get out. Before you get sick and start losing your sanity.

  • @mattdonna9677
    @mattdonna9677 Před 2 lety +5

    Yup, the wicked witch of this house does all these behaviors. I rarely get to finish a sentence so I don't try to talk to her. I do not accept gifts anymore as it is a method of control ( you owe me ) the lack of any maturity from her will never change. Looking forward to being out of here in March, free of her madness.

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety +1

      An Psychologist told that Narcissists are only 8 - 11 years old, emotionally ‼️

  • @Henry1965ism
    @Henry1965ism Před 2 lety +2

    Definitely #9. When I went to get a payment ($100) that my narc neighbour owed me he said "I'm not going to the bank today." in that drab monotone voice they often use to devalue you. I know that he could easily paid me there and then but he wanted to string me along for his own sick pleasure.
    And definitely #10. He takes pride in his garden and thinks he's the king of the neighbourhood but has no problems doing illegal dumping. I saw him load up the back of his car with branches he trimmed off a tree and drive off and return soon after with the car empty. And not the first time he has done that.

  • @Valveus
    @Valveus Před 2 lety +1

    They may or may not be able to pick the kids up. Ha! I can count on one hand the amount of times my narc mum has picked my 10 year old daughter up or looked after her for me, and each time she's let me know it's a massive inconvenience

  • @Nancy-yw1rr
    @Nancy-yw1rr Před 2 lety

    My ex did all of these except talk to himself. His hypocrisy was a constant presence yet he declared himself to not be a hypocrite. 🙄

  • @carolutley6523
    @carolutley6523 Před 2 lety +2

    Yep! Familiar with every tactic!

  • @sharonstrauss1146
    @sharonstrauss1146 Před 2 lety

    Nitpicking is to show how they ignore your effort to have fixed something or improvement you made.They naturally dont compliment the one they in close relationship.

  • @meiw8358
    @meiw8358 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you for the film, I am learning a lot from your channel 🙏🏻

  • @danielbryce6072
    @danielbryce6072 Před 2 lety +2

    I played a drum roll in my head after most of those 🤦‍♂️

  • @lorettaenglerth1361
    @lorettaenglerth1361 Před 2 lety +2

    This video describes my husband to the " T"...didn't realize this is part of there characteristics of a NARC as well, thought it just my husband's bad behavior.

    • @michellefarris3961
      @michellefarris3961 Před 2 lety

      Please keep educating yourself.

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety

      They all do the same, from the same school, they didn't learn about how to be human and love there‼️

  • @anne-marieshaffer6241
    @anne-marieshaffer6241 Před 2 lety +3

    Narc ex got a solid 8 out of 10. And although I've never heard him talk to himself, I know he rewrote history in his head. So that one might bring his score up to 9.

  • @misasmith6180
    @misasmith6180 Před 2 lety +1

    Wow this stuff is true, thank you

  • @l.t.2356
    @l.t.2356 Před 2 lety

    My narc would always walk a few feet behind me. It made me so uncomfortable. When I would ask him to walk beside me, he would for a while, but the next time we in a store or wherever we were at the time, he would again walk behind me. I would love insight on why he did this.

  • @shellbell8062
    @shellbell8062 Před 2 lety +1

    For Christmas my narcissistic sister gave me a CD that she had stolen from me years before. I had no idea what to say.

  • @m.otransformers4855
    @m.otransformers4855 Před 2 lety +2

    Great vid! I love hearing your takes

  • @breakthroughmoment1647

    They walk ahead of you to make you feel like a lazy blob who walks too slow. In reality, you’re just walking at a pace that is comfortable for YOU. That doesn’t mean you’re “slow,” or that less gets “done” in a day. Narcissists like to appear “busy,” but are actually lazy and unproductive because they waste a lot of time harassing others.
    When they bark out orders, it always puts me on edge (I freeze), or feel pressured, my chest tightens up, etc. It really messes up your nervous system. Should we follow the order if the room really DOES need to be “picked up,” or do we ignore it? Walk away?
    I can totally relate to your list. Thank you for discussing these less talked about traits!

  • @fidelmashelton9491
    @fidelmashelton9491 Před 2 lety

    So true Jill.

  • @fidelmashelton9491
    @fidelmashelton9491 Před 2 lety +1

    What I find with them, if you go for a walk. They will either walk ahead or sometimes walk behind you but not beside you. Strange behaviour...🤔

  • @ESumner
    @ESumner Před 2 lety

    Doing the opposite of what you ask for, non stop... and deny it.

  • @TheBlackbutterfly62
    @TheBlackbutterfly62 Před 2 lety

    This video was so helpful to me. Thank you. New subscriber from UK

  • @shubhangibarsagade9627

    Thank u for making the video.✌

  • @lifewithapurpose237
    @lifewithapurpose237 Před 2 lety +6

    weird, last Christmas mine gave me knives, for birthday a trash can. Walking in front, came in the form that they would not let anyone know where we were going (so they had to lead). Critical to a fault, nothing was overlooked. Always and i mean always took way too long to answer simple questions, just kept us (children and i) hanging. Vague answers indeed. double standards for sure. when mine accidentally backed up into a light post leaving a starbucks in our new suv they acted as if it was no big deal (if shoe was on other foot would've never heard the end of it). Playing board games was traumatizing for our children as they would get harsh looks, never made it fun to win or even congratulated them (showed absolutely no passion).

    • @DavidDrummondTX
      @DavidDrummondTX Před 2 lety +1

      This Christmas my only gift from my narc was an air hose for my compressor. Mine was leaking, and of course then she added "sometimes my tires need air".

    • @twotonrhinottr2877
      @twotonrhinottr2877 Před 2 lety +1

      Yes. That stuff with the board games breaks my heart as much as the kids.

  • @leahlincoln7287
    @leahlincoln7287 Před 2 lety +5

    Thank you as always for the video I'm constantly dumbfounded how the architecture of insecurity that leads to complete selfishness is such an absolute; as if it were rules written in a book that never vary my parents had nothing to offer they couldn't even feed clothe and shelter us and yet they still managed to follow the whole memorandum by basically making all of that our fault somehow and telling us horrible things like you gotta grow up and take care of us they're very sick clearly I realized recently that illiteracy has a whole lot to do with how they ended up where they are no doubt and then the few things they did read they followed only that like nothing else existed in the world it's so odd to me what comes to mind is carbon copy as if the narcissistic behavior is so absolute each Behavior as a carbon copy of the other I think it's so odd that something that biological has so many absolute perimeters thanks again Happy New Year

  • @dorasneddon774
    @dorasneddon774 Před rokem

    I'm just in the last stages of organising my narcissistic mother's funeral. The hardest part is dealing with her accolytes - those dazzled by her warmth, wit, creativity, intellect and charisma - her flying monkeys. I have support from some dear cousins who knew her well and saw behind the façade, thank goodness. But I'll be glad when it is over. Still being set up from beyond the grave, it feels like, to suffer shaming and disapproval from blind idiots who were dazzled and saw nothing lurking in the shadows.

  • @slestage5725
    @slestage5725 Před 2 lety

    Spot on!

  • @dr.mallikagoyal7293
    @dr.mallikagoyal7293 Před 2 lety

    Wow! Excellent points that are so true but not generally brought up in relation to narcissism! These, in fact, make up the sum total of one’s daily interaction with a narcissist.

  • @tovenrvik6336
    @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety

    Thanks for sharing, the things you said are so true‼️My Narc mother have been given me so many gifts that I don't need, instead of giving me the money so I can buy something I wished for, no one gives an expensive toiletbag in leather to a person who don't like to travel‼️💎

  • @heavenlygrandma9992
    @heavenlygrandma9992 Před 2 lety

    My husband griped all the time about me cooking and storing food in the same container. I saw no point it dirtying more dishes. But he wanted me to cook in one container, store it in a clean container, then dirty another one to heat it up. He never won that argument.
    And after I just stopped doing the dishes all together, he not only would cook something in the same container, he also left the spoon in the same container and stored it in the same container. I guess it's different when he is the one doing the dishes.

  • @mattlofty5884
    @mattlofty5884 Před 2 lety

    Virtual high 5 , this is absolutely SPOT ON !!

  • @MrsDavis-vm8tq
    @MrsDavis-vm8tq Před 2 lety

    This is spot on especially about the "2 Set of Rules" Such hypocrites !!!

  • @thisandthat9710
    @thisandthat9710 Před 2 lety +1

    NAILED IT!

  • @Free_Bird_Regina
    @Free_Bird_Regina Před 2 lety

    100% spot on

  • @DaanEnZooi
    @DaanEnZooi Před 2 lety

    I dealt with 2 of them and they both talked with 'we' describing themselves. For example "We always think about it and then decide we never do that." At first I was like "who are you referring to?' but then I found out they just love to talk that way. As if they have a secret back up or something. It's strange. Did someone else here had that experience too?

  • @m.otransformers4855
    @m.otransformers4855 Před 2 lety +3

    I interrupt a lot but I have ADHD, I hope I don't come off like a narcissist

    • @michellefarris3961
      @michellefarris3961 Před 2 lety +1

      I do the same, but it's the only one on the list. And I hate it when I do it, always feel bad after.

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety

      No you don't they are abusive, try to listen and be interested in others, a friendship are twosided and no one likes to be overlooked‼️But I understand ADHD, it's trouble wt concentration and I feel sorry for you and will not critize, it has come to light that ppl who's got your diagnoses can have had difficult childhoods‼️

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety

      @@michellefarris3961 You can be impatient and get that wt ppl who thinks and talks slow, I know this from I was younger, I'm 58 years old now and more patient‼️

    • @michellefarris3961
      @michellefarris3961 Před 2 lety

      Yes. I have anxiety from trauma, but also a super high IQ, so I don't suffer fools gladly. Now I try to just get out of any interaction as quickly as possible. It could be another narcissists, and I don't want to find out. And flying monkeys are a permanent occurrence in my life, so I don't want their lectures either.

    • @tovenrvik6336
      @tovenrvik6336 Před 2 lety

      @@michellefarris3961 The first red flag on a Narcissist is devaluation after lovebombing, when it comes in you are dealing wt a Narcissist, and it's time to leave ‼️

  • @kslucki
    @kslucki Před 2 lety

    Intimate experience lasted for 3 months (all 3 parts of abuse experienced). We were high school friends and knew each other for 30 years beforehand:
    1. Gifts - out of the blue wanted to buy me pair of earrings without discussing it with me or me expressing I wanted any (I lost one of my earrings beforehand). I understood the potential care, but did not appreciate the lack of subtlety in the act, which seemed like a show-off more than a genuine wish to surprise me. I found it strange immediately. He managed to buy me 2 pairs of reading glasses, making sure his friends knew it was for me. Later wanted to know if I was using them.
    2. walking - didn't notice
    3. Interrupting - constantly. So irritating.
    4. Talking to themselves - did not happen/notice
    5. Nitpicking (passive-aggression) - "my boobs are bigger than yours"; aren't you gonna comb your hair a bit (before going out)?; not saying anything, but looking at my winter shoes with loud silence every time I had them on; are you gonna put on some make up? are you gonna dye your hair blond again?
    6. Overly/under involved - even now when I'm ignoring him, he still asks if my problem got solved (to know if his help worked), when I really needed him he ghosted me for a month.
    7. Terrible losers - had to one up me in everything. Hates his ex-wife.
    8. Topic change - yes. Or avoiding important topics all together, even though I stated several times I wished to talk.
    9. No direct answer - spot on. I see this as his way of manipulation, for his future benefit.
    10. Hypocrite - likes to be helpful, only to portray himself as a good person. No empathy at all.