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The Aging Narcissist, What You Need To Know

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  • čas přidán 18. 08. 2024
  • In today's video we talk about the aging narcissist. What happens as the get older? Do they get better or worse? And what behaviors will they exhibit? This video tells you everything you need to know about the aging Narcissist.
    Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
    If you are interested in private Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching with Jill , please visit her website
    payhip.com/The...
    or send her an email at theenlightenedtarget@gmail.com. She conducts face to face meetings on the computer using zoom or over the phone. Many times getting the help and support from a professional who has lived through this is a necessary step to healing.
    GROUP COACHING NOW OFFERED ON SUNDAY’S: If you are interested in group coaching, please visit Jill’s website for information:
    payhip.com/The...
    Purchase a copy of Jill's Ebook: What are the specific personality and character traits narcissists look for in a target and how they are able to exploit and manipulate these traits.
    payhip.com/b/nwID
    To connect with an online licensed therapist, the link below will direct you to BetterHelp where you can find a qualified therapist and receive therapy from the comfort of your home.
    Please click on this link to get connected:
    www.betterhelp...
    Jill is sponsored by BetterHelp and receives a small commission on referrals. She only recommends services that she trusts.
    Donations are very much appreciated.
    paypal.me/TheE...
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    This channel is for educational purposes ONLY.

Komentáře • 1,3K

  • @WarmandHardy
    @WarmandHardy Před 10 měsíci +77

    Something I realized is that they will go to the grave unapologetic. Never wait for a sorry, it’s never going to come. Move on.

    • @SinderellaScapegoat
      @SinderellaScapegoat Před 3 měsíci

      Also they use Government to PSYOP YOU AKA push their agenda to "test' you as if you were the narcissist and even CZcams Algorithm or other Tools to villify you as a cover up

    • @SinderellaScapegoat
      @SinderellaScapegoat Před 3 měsíci +2

      Narcissism is prevalent in Military

  • @terrybear5398
    @terrybear5398 Před 3 lety +543

    "The most damaging emotion that a victim can have is....hope." OMG!

    • @heatheradams8946
      @heatheradams8946 Před 3 lety +24

      Very true hope when you do ......it will be better. Hope when you try .......it will be better. Rinse and repeat

    • @Pfsif
      @Pfsif Před 3 lety +6

      See Spartan Life Coach's video on Hope. Very freeing.

    • @frankcrawford416
      @frankcrawford416 Před 3 lety +5

      So true brother.

    • @ealiyammajohnswan5874
      @ealiyammajohnswan5874 Před 3 lety +3

      I am a victim of the same and I would like to know how can I support such a person to come out of such problem or how to handle the person as a whole.

    • @fr9509
      @fr9509 Před 3 lety +12

      @@ealiyammajohnswan5874 you can't please believe me.

  • @wiser1254
    @wiser1254 Před 3 lety +567

    You are so right! I divorced my covert ex at age 72. I am now 75, happy and thriving for the first time in my life thanks to helpful therapy videos like yours! God help and bless those who need to get out of narcissistic relationships no matter what age, but especially as they get older!

    • @elizabethandiosa4579
      @elizabethandiosa4579 Před 3 lety +35

      Oh my gosh. Good for you. I m still eneshed with the aged narc mother but her whole family gang was like that and my brother is worse. It's a nightmare. I am low contact with my mom and no contact with her relatives and my brother

    • @scperera913
      @scperera913 Před 3 lety +16

      Well done, very inspirational.

    • @cassandrastornoway5445
      @cassandrastornoway5445 Před 3 lety +6

      why did you wait so long ?

    • @Ridiculi
      @Ridiculi Před 3 lety +8

      God bless you.

    • @Ridiculi
      @Ridiculi Před 3 lety +32

      @@cassandrastornoway5445 This seems pretty judgemental. I'm sure it's none of your business and she doesn't have to defend how long she stayed.

  • @KA-mq4wj
    @KA-mq4wj Před 3 lety +278

    I went no contact with my narcissistic Mother. Best decision ever. I feel free.

    • @newmamaful
      @newmamaful Před 3 lety +14

      You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.

    • @cassandrastornoway5445
      @cassandrastornoway5445 Před 3 lety +7

      Toxic Children and Daughters who can't love by Every Mother is great too

    • @newmamaful
      @newmamaful Před 3 lety +4

      @@cassandrastornoway5445 I'm sure you're quite right. Toxicity works in all kinds of directions.

    • @joygarlick9350
      @joygarlick9350 Před 3 lety +9

      Me too. The most toxic evil creature imaginable.

    • @EngineeringDept-WarriorTribe
      @EngineeringDept-WarriorTribe Před 3 lety +10

      Same here, no contact is the only way

  • @shewho333
    @shewho333 Před 3 lety +35

    Pro tip: Narcissistic mothers will take that bitterness, anger, jealousy, greed, ALL the way to the grave with them. You’ll never hear what you need to hear from them. You’ll never ‘finally’ get kindness, apologies, encouragement, gratitude, signs of regret, or any form of love from them. If you can get away before they’re financially and physically dependent on you, DO IT! There’s not one reason to stick around. And know this, as the last attachment can sometimes be an inheritance or something, they’ve already written you out of the will. Just RUN.

    • @holeika
      @holeika Před 2 měsíci

      I'm having a fight inside me....I'm her only daughter, it's my responsibility to take care of her, she is now 75, but now long can I really handle being her servant and bite my tongue when she disrespects me all day long...all the way to hitting on my husband...trying to get away now and her games are coming right and left

  • @s.hicks7213
    @s.hicks7213 Před rokem +49

    Move the heck away and go no contact. Don’t look back and live a new existence without their terrible abusive voice in your head. ♥️

  • @ramoth777
    @ramoth777 Před 11 měsíci +71

    Narcissists grow old, but they never grow up.

    • @user-em8on8py9z
      @user-em8on8py9z Před 4 měsíci +1

      My mother, husband sister,, brother. All are dead. Self destructed

    • @user-wn1dl1ku5u
      @user-wn1dl1ku5u Před 4 měsíci

      Omg you hit it on the nail .!!!I call my ex a peter pa 11:34 n cause he's always trying to act like he's a teenager when he's 55 yes old .😅

    • @alexisgreene8952
      @alexisgreene8952 Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@user-wn1dl1ku5uThey are also called 'baby head'.

    • @miker4430
      @miker4430 Před 11 dny

      That’s correct!✅

    • @ramoth777
      @ramoth777 Před 11 dny

      @miker4430 Thanks but I didn't coin that couplet. Wish I had!!

  • @stillirise6086
    @stillirise6086 Před 3 lety +83

    There's a misconception that all narcissists are wealthy,beautiful,intelligent....

    • @lynngriffin3404
      @lynngriffin3404 Před 3 lety +8

      It's a misconception that they have themselves there are a legend in their own mind

    • @desonmonde4086
      @desonmonde4086 Před 3 lety +1

      Definitely.

    • @trentsteel1542
      @trentsteel1542 Před 3 lety +4

      Lol. My bm looks exactly on the outside as she looks on the inside 😂

    • @ronalddaub7965
      @ronalddaub7965 Před 3 lety +1

      Yes

    • @DavidFraser007
      @DavidFraser007 Před 3 lety +2

      Age was not kind to my adopted mother, she was eternally jealous of her mothers looks.

  • @janoginski5557
    @janoginski5557 Před 11 měsíci +18

    They do not change if anything their behaviours get increasingly worst. They are a curse on decent people. Bitter and twisted,

  • @isselharel9113
    @isselharel9113 Před 3 lety +151

    There are many narcissists ending up in Senior residential homes thrown in there where their children and grandchildren are not frequently visiting them. And one wonders why? And the answer is very evident after watching this video. Thank you!

    • @isay207
      @isay207 Před rokem +14

      Yes as a geriatric nurse there's a reason there's no family around

    • @stevec3892
      @stevec3892 Před 11 měsíci

      My parents were the worst and my sisters kiss there ass

    • @JoyfulJenn
      @JoyfulJenn Před 7 měsíci +1

      Yes I don’t care when I where they go.

    • @susanjones8489
      @susanjones8489 Před 7 měsíci +6

      Please don’t assume the old folks abandoned by their adult kids into senior housing are the real narcs in this scenario. Sometimes it is the adult family members who are the narcs, warehousing their mom on the taxpayers dime while they loot and pillage, while abandoning them.

  • @MauriceRivers415
    @MauriceRivers415 Před rokem +28

    Once they get in their 50's/60's/70's, their body doesn't work the way it used to (either menopause or achy joints). They become more negative, bitter, sour, vindictive and controlling, especially if they feel their "power" is being taken away. They suck the life out of the room, and instead of aging into mentors/role models, they become desperate for total control of everything/everyone around them.
    Younger people/leaders piss them off, because they begin to realize that time is not on their side: they have one foot in the grave. Dealing with the aging/elderly narcissist is tricky, because misery loves company. They age horribly and rapidly: all of that negativity, hatred, anger, and their need for control eventually catches up with them. Not to mention all of the health issues that are brought on from the stress they put themselves through: it all starts from within.
    I recommend keeping your distance respectfully, or zero contact for the truly deranged/malignant ones that can't be reasoned with.

    • @AnaM.F
      @AnaM.F Před 6 měsíci +2

      I totally agreed. Stay away. Zero contact.

    • @ianworthington1654
      @ianworthington1654 Před 4 měsíci +2

      Do they ever suicide ?

    • @Benjaminleo815
      @Benjaminleo815 Před 3 měsíci

      50s are a little young for your list lol

    • @MauriceRivers415
      @MauriceRivers415 Před 3 měsíci +1

      @@Benjaminleo815 Hardly. Your body at 50 is not the same as 20 or even 30. You're not a spring chicken anymore.

    • @Benjaminleo815
      @Benjaminleo815 Před 3 měsíci +2

      @@MauriceRivers415 I'm actually healthier and happier in 50s and don't see it as "old." Neither do I see 60's that way or even early 70s, doesn't matter they are "spring chickens."I work with true elderly as a professional and just don't see it as you do. Narcs are never happy at any age.

  • @BBFCCO733
    @BBFCCO733 Před 2 lety +16

    My father has literally destroyed my mental health, and keeps up the abuse, even with no contact, he tries to hurt me when he can. He has gone out of his way to make sure everyone hates me and doesn't speak to me, then he acts like he cares just to get me back into his web. When I caught onto this game (among many), I realized there's no turning back for me. I have no words for this monster.

  • @TheGra325
    @TheGra325 Před 3 lety +372

    What about when the narcissist in your life does everything in their power to stop you from reaching any of your goals in life? I’ll tell you... you sit there and look back on 20 wasted, empty years and realise you are nothing to them and never were 😔

    • @peaceangel-rl2hf
      @peaceangel-rl2hf Před 3 lety +37

      Yep, I can relate! Dealing with the anger about lost opportunities is tough. I regret not knowing earlier...it sux basically, without redemption. Hopefully still young enough to take this knowledge with me for the future, whatever it may hold

    • @brianmasemola5256
      @brianmasemola5256 Před 3 lety +26

      I can also relate. My covert narc father has been holding me back all the time. He only cares about my last born malignant narc sister. He appears in my dreams barging in my house being accompanied by my narc sister and her son. He wants me to support them financially because that's how he was raised by his siblings. But now, I'm employing defiant self love above everyone else. I also stick to the bulletproof boundaries that I have created.

    • @dianeanderson3664
      @dianeanderson3664 Před 3 lety +3

      @chronicreader Good for you getting out. And to be able to keep your mind strong enough to come up with an idea to start a business well done. I wonder if have a form of bipolar .?

    • @haroldharold3908
      @haroldharold3908 Před 3 lety +7

      yea been there... notice it but dident realy believe it ..30 years for me...now 20 years later i realize there was no love just a constant struggle for her to be on top ..its the women ive been involved with after her that made it so clear ,there just so much easier to get on with ..for her a chain of disasters with men ..i realize now she cant love anybody cos she needs to be in control all the time

    • @debramathison7613
      @debramathison7613 Před 3 lety +18

      So sorry to read Graham. I was raised by narcissist mother,,, so of course chose a narcissistic man for a husband... hate to stay, afraid to leave..,meanwhile, years keep slipping away. I mean something to my husband...a paycheque, an audience to listen to his verbal diahharea and a slave to clean up after him... I Don't even remember my dreams and even if I did, I'm so drained and crushed by this person, I don't have the energy.

  • @redsquirrel1086
    @redsquirrel1086 Před 3 lety +125

    Narcissists rely heavily on their physical attraction, so ageing for them is a nightmare.
    The only time my narc displayed any real vulnerability was when the subject of getting older cropped up. It scared the shit out of her.
    Narcissists burn bridges with people throughout their lives so when their physical appearance is no longer their trump card they are going to struggle. They are invariably unpleasant individuals whose "personality" is their achilles heal.
    Anyway, my ex narc can rot in hell for all I care. May the later decades of her miserable existence be the hell that she deserves.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 2 lety +3

      Not all Narcissists are good looking!!! Just a head up!!!! I was married to a man that was a good guy very covert narcissistic man he was not overt at all and he definitely wasn’t a GQ guy I married him because I thought he was a great guy super sweet thanks to the love bombing and I’m poetry and everything and he was a hard worker and he used me and used my family.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 2 lety +7

      Do they ever burn in hell because it seems like they just move on and trick other people? Mine’s even going to church now

    • @brianwalsh1401
      @brianwalsh1401 Před 2 lety

      @@Portia620 There are different types of narcissists. My sister is married to a covert cerebral narcissist. He even told her to think of him as the "absent minded professor". That has been his schtick for as long as I've know him. He thinks himself of superior intelligence. He had me fooled. I just thought him a naer do well until I figured out what a cerebral narcissist is. My sister doesn't want to believe it still, yet she is absolutely destroyed and owned by this idiot.
      I was married to a covert somatic narcissist and my older brother was this as well.

    • @christinadacruz420
      @christinadacruz420 Před rokem +2

      My oldest daughter is having a problem with that now having recently turned 48. She is continuously taking selfies and telling everyone how great she looks for her age. She’s gone as far as posting that she looks better than some in their 20’s.

    • @isay207
      @isay207 Před rokem +1

      Or lord money over you

  • @maryannwilliams3893
    @maryannwilliams3893 Před 3 lety +264

    Great message, Jill!🌺 So, narcs NEVER change no matter how old they are. What a sad, sad state of affairs.😢 Such a miserable, empty existence.

    • @dontbelongherefromanotherp9807
      @dontbelongherefromanotherp9807 Před 3 lety +7

      They become worse due to their brain's ability to reshape itself

    • @deborahfairbanks4012
      @deborahfairbanks4012 Před 3 lety +18

      @@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807 right, having a narcissist in ones life is like making friends with terminal cancer. They are death to the spirit, a constant uncontrollable death. The only solution is to walk away and don't look back

    • @errickflesch5565
      @errickflesch5565 Před 2 lety +5

      They don't know/awknolege they are emty.....it's all about them.

    • @yasmartin2642
      @yasmartin2642 Před 2 lety +11

      @@errickflesch5565 they know that they’re empty. They know it very well, my ex would always very randomly say my brain is not right. I just thought he was just moping around as usual, but nope he knew he was a sick individual and his whole family knew too, but the goal is to always cover it up.

    • @tammyfitzgerald5336
      @tammyfitzgerald5336 Před rokem

      😂😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉

  • @pauljones5066
    @pauljones5066 Před 3 lety +236

    God, you are spot on re: the ageing process, especially for certain men. The key word is pathetic

    • @nryane
      @nryane Před 3 lety +20

      Individuals, male or female, who rely on their looks and physique(s), eventually ALL age badly, due to their focus on the externals.

    • @ethelbentancourt4251
      @ethelbentancourt4251 Před 3 lety +2

      Amen 🙏

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 2 lety +4

      @@nryane I don’t know that depends I know people that aged pretty good and they took care of themselves and worked out and stop now you’re telling me that all them people throwing that filler in your face and stuff yeah they start looking like crap sometimes I was that thing can go wrong.

    • @brianwalsh1401
      @brianwalsh1401 Před 2 lety +4

      @@Portia620 Somatic narcissists are often going to workout to look good especially lifting weights. Remember their narcissism is directed at looking good. I worked with a narcissist who constantly lifted weights. He might have looked good on the outside but was nasty as hell on the inside. Male or female just because it looks good doesn't mean it is good.

  • @rachaelcalvert9417
    @rachaelcalvert9417 Před 3 lety +139

    I knew my mother was a narcassist when she told me I had a “cheek” for opening a savings account to buy my first home. She’s a covert narcasist so she started threatening me with suicide over text. I’m 23 and we are no longer in contact. My NM has never owned a house so she is obviously bitter rather than happy for me for taking responsible steps

    • @localwalker5696
      @localwalker5696 Před 3 lety +25

      You won't regret it..I waited until I was 56 ...I should have done it earlier...good luck with your house plans...do not go back to her ..xx

    • @valerieobrien5521
      @valerieobrien5521 Před 2 lety +3

      This lady has what I call " film star looks."

    • @misssincere5762
      @misssincere5762 Před 2 lety

      My moms a Narc. Too.

    • @Ann-eb8dp
      @Ann-eb8dp Před 3 měsíci

      Thank you for confirming what l have thought for some time I believe the best revenge is success They hate that Also build a good relationship with your children if possible They hate that as well because they Never had that

    • @jacquelineglitter4328
      @jacquelineglitter4328 Před 2 měsíci

      They're so jealous.

  • @marmel4086
    @marmel4086 Před 3 lety +136

    This is EXACTLY what is going on with my aging,narcissistic, Ex-Husband!!!He just CANNOT believe that he doesn't get a second look anymore!!!!

    • @pauljones5066
      @pauljones5066 Před 3 lety +16

      call him "fat boy"

    • @monicahocking1507
      @monicahocking1507 Před 3 lety +8

      @@pauljones5066 lol!

    • @alicewilliams4375
      @alicewilliams4375 Před 3 lety +2

      12 years and mine think I'm sick your my wife you have to take care of me he has scleroderma also ànd I Said No he 50 I'm 54 and I didn't even know nothing about this

    • @michellewall6748
      @michellewall6748 Před 3 lety +4

      🤣🤣😂😂😂

    • @melanieknowles7002
      @melanieknowles7002 Před 3 lety +9

      Time for grandpa to bite the dust. Safe landings. Rock on girls.

  • @cruzan8183
    @cruzan8183 Před 2 lety +17

    My elderly mother has gotten much worse in recent years. I have had to end contact with her to save my sanity.
    Please don’t allow a narcissistic parent destroy your important relationships . That’s their ultimate goal . Understand that narcissists only get worse . My wealthy mother tried to string me along promising me that all that she owns would eventually be mine . She tried to convince me not to pursue a lucrative career . I ignored her. At this point she has probably changed her will.
    Narcissists are full of surprises. Never forget that .

    • @jacquelineglitter4328
      @jacquelineglitter4328 Před 2 měsíci

      I call it the dangling money over your head to control you. Believe me I dealt with it for years because I'm on disability. I would say I'm going to buy a bathroom rug and this person would appear with a rug then go tell everyone they had to help me just to look good for others. I wanted to make my own purchases and go shopping. I could afford a rug even though they made it sound like I couldn't.

  • @takwaxaweelew8017
    @takwaxaweelew8017 Před 3 lety +123

    I’ve been divorced for 6 years and I still find myself dealing with recovery over my ex the narcissist. It’s was a horror story.

    • @amandagarcia6320
      @amandagarcia6320 Před 3 lety +18

      I'm on year 11 and I can tell you the "PTSD" is real.....I still don't know who I was ever even married to. It's like a "running movie set " that plays in my head all day. Some days? wondering to myself "was the whole marriage" just a LIE?????

    • @TrinketStarz
      @TrinketStarz Před 3 lety +8

      @@amandagarcia6320 sadly yes. That was the biggest hurdle for me to get over also was realizing that somebody that I've known since I was 17 years old my first everything somebody that I invested in and cared for didn't give two schitts about me the whole time. His children even less. Im the only one he's ever had kids with, in spite of his many relationships.. Still trying to figure that one out, because children are an anchor. To keep you around. It's been 8 years since the divorce, and happily free. Only God can tell me why. I have no idea. He hates me but keeps me locked in theough lawsuits?

    • @amandagarcia6320
      @amandagarcia6320 Před 3 lety +7

      @@TrinketStarz Thank You for taking the time to share this with us. You sound like you're much, much better off without that individual in your life. Good for you for continuing to move forward with your life with courage, self-respect and dignity!

    • @ethelbentancourt4251
      @ethelbentancourt4251 Před 3 lety +4

      I agree

    • @LoneSoul-vy7lp
      @LoneSoul-vy7lp Před 2 lety +2

      I’m so blessed that I found Jill on here , she has helped me understand the nightmare I lived with my ex-wife … what I realized is you never stop unfolding the reality of things in the relationship that you now discover because you were constantly kept spinning and gas lighted , it’s unbelievable once the spinning stops how devastated you really are . I don’t know that I will ever really trust again , I hate saying that , I just pray this gets easier. God Bless and stay strong!

  • @marshgirl
    @marshgirl Před 3 lety +92

    I went NO CONTACT in June 2020 after 8 years of Narc abuse, his lying, physical attacks , put downs, sex addiction . I still didn’t know him after all those years. He said he worked in London 3 days a week , he was with another woman .
    I went NO CONTACT in June, I have stayed strong .
    NO CONTACT !!!
    It’s the only way. Trust me if you really want to be free.

    • @michelleg5371
      @michelleg5371 Před 3 lety +3

      I’ve got 20 years I wish it was only 8 .what evil cruel people .and mate I had no idea he’s a narcissist it took me 20 years to work him out .he’s so cunning and sly oh and the lies .I’ve left him finally .

    • @marshgirl
      @marshgirl Před 3 lety +3

      @@michelleg5371 Wow!
      So glad you are finally free!
      They are insidious and cunning . They hide it well, my gut instinct was going over time , but so hard to escape. It’s like he holds you down under water then lifts you up again and you are grateful to him and forgiving , that’s how it felt for me.
      Be free , Be You, Be happy . Trust your Gut instinct it will ever let you down . All the very best to you 💐✨

    • @TheGra325
      @TheGra325 Před 3 lety +1

      @@michelleg5371 it’s taken me 20 years to see through her too. How can we miss that for so long? I feel like a fool 😣

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 2 lety +1

      They have separate lives and not always are they GQ or beauty queens! They can be the nice guy that is hell on wheels after the honeymoon stages as they slowly and insidious prepare you for the NIGHTMARES!!!!! I have two kids (I because he picks when it’s confident to play daddy) and both are super traumatized and been in therapy weekly! One has withdrew from 2nd semester of college she is such a mess and it became apparently when she started seeing him again. The pandemic separated them. He was so sad over the divorce he couldn’t talk to him for two months in the middle of a worldwide crisis where you don’t know if you’ll die or your kids will. Actually what he was doing was he had his nose up somebody else’s butt trying to make the deal and seal it she has two children to and it’s very apparent once you know who they are and easy to see through the game when you wake up out of the La La Land they put you in because it is truly brainwashing. I have no doubt I was completely brainwashed I was not in love I was brainwashed!!! It’s overwhelming and a hard pill to swallow when you start seeing everything in the house that he had or did and I found three pairs of scissors he was cutting sheets and things things were hidden it was crazy making constantly. He was always gone and then when he was home it was always my fault for starting the argument. It’s quiet now it’s taking me almost 7 years or eight years to figure this out and I will be divorced when we start a divorce in 2019 it’ll be four years and I haven’t even dated! Best life ever!!! ❤️

    • @lidiyas7153
      @lidiyas7153 Před 2 lety +1

      @@TheGra325 I will keep asking that question forever...how I missed it for 20 years... ohhh😪

  • @LibraLove1717-us8qp
    @LibraLove1717-us8qp Před 3 lety +185

    I've posted on your channel before and I have to tell you that your expertise on this subject is 200% on the money. On December 13, 2019 after three decades of abusive behavior my divorce was final. So glad to say, Happy Anniversary to me!🦋🦋🐞💐💐

    • @wendyguymer5327
      @wendyguymer5327 Před 3 lety +15

      Happy Exaversary l call it!!😀yay...freedom ..after 40 years for me !!! Congrats to you x

    • @LibraLove1717-us8qp
      @LibraLove1717-us8qp Před 3 lety +7

      @@wendyguymer5327 😂😂Thanks and Congratulations to you as well!!!

    • @keithstewart7514
      @keithstewart7514 Před rokem +1

      Your divorce was on my birthday... Congrats!

    • @keithstewart7514
      @keithstewart7514 Před rokem +1

      Hope you had BETR conditions than my Fri Dec 13th birth was bc my ENTIRE FAMILY was EVIL upon my arrival...

    • @katielung6515
      @katielung6515 Před rokem +2

      Congratulations 🎉 I hope true love and happiness will find you now. Amen 🙏

  • @sunnydaye5942
    @sunnydaye5942 Před 3 lety +117

    To add, they die making all around them as miserable as possible. Seen it. Ripping hearts out as their main goal with their last breath. Leave them asap and olan on never looking back. Did that with "mommie dearest" and many others. Save yourself!!!

    • @dw1-norskgaming923
      @dw1-norskgaming923 Před 3 lety +12

      You are so right.

    • @Fenrir-uv9ib
      @Fenrir-uv9ib Před 3 lety +13

      My father did that prior to his death. He made everyone's life miserable and then complained when we wouldn't visit him. I have his diary so he knew what he was doing, but then again at the same time it was like he was a moth to a flame. He simply couldn't get over himself. I'm sorry but also glad you got your needed separation from your mother.

    • @dw1-norskgaming923
      @dw1-norskgaming923 Před 3 lety +10

      @@Fenrir-uv9ib Sorry, it is so painful... My mother did the same. When she got the message about her death, one should think she would be better... but not at all.
      Blessings 💞

    • @elizabethandiosa4579
      @elizabethandiosa4579 Před 3 lety +7

      Omg. I am going through crazy shit with my aged mother and abusive riche brother

    • @TheOHenry666
      @TheOHenry666 Před 3 lety +5

      At the bottom of Dante's inferno, Satan flapping his wings in an attempt to break free of the cocytus is a good analogy.

  • @yeswing10
    @yeswing10 Před 3 lety +63

    It's a slow motion implosion.

  • @danarchambault8723
    @danarchambault8723 Před 3 lety +27

    Pathetic is the perfect word for them. .

  • @kwekuacheampong1464
    @kwekuacheampong1464 Před 3 lety +44

    A very articulate explanation of how narcissists decline with age.

  • @twopurringcats
    @twopurringcats Před 3 lety +127

    Very accurate. Both my parents are narcissists. Mom is a diagnosed, high level NPD. Dad is covert but won't let himself be diagnosed. They are in their 80's now. I'm on my 50's and was always the scapegoat but don't contact them anymore. They are unbearable to be around because they are hostile, aggressive manipulative and jealous they are towards me because I'm younger. They tried to scare me with endless horror stories of all the health problems (they have) "I will get" when I age. They told me they hope I die before them. They stole my grandmother's estate money from her when they were younger and want my money, tried to manipulate me for it but I refused and let go. I have strong boundaries, which they hate. They hate me because I don't share in their fantasy of thinking they are omnipotent/royalty/superior/whatever. Nope. Mom was always very vain and all about beauty. Dad was all about status. They had money and brilliant careers. Being retired their rich friends aren't around and mom desperately scrounged for supply. They bought a large house and new car then have no money left for other things. I'm doing well and live within my means. They (well, mostly mom but dad too sonewhat) never wanted me to succeed in my career. She sabotaged my education by making dad stop paying for college when I was doing well. She laughed as I struggled to get my education and find off campus housing, telling me I couldn't come home because she wanted her privacy. So I worked HARD. Multiple jobs and taking school too on my own. My career flourished from perserverence. They hate that, too. I was supposed to be her flunkie servant. Nope. They belittled and attacked me every step of the way. I stayed in therapy for the C-PTSD their abuse gave me. Learned to be strong. I've been on my own living away from them since 16. Now I have a nice home and peaceful life. They know that they will be told to leave if they visit and try to start anything. Their hatred is strong yet they smile and come bearing gifts briefly once in awhile. I will talk to them but cannot trust them so I am on guard. They know I will get a restraining order if they attack or abuse so it's just a fake momentary grab for supply then they go back to shunning me again. They shunned and blew me off all my adult life but cannot stand that I no longer care.

    • @coretaclark3104
      @coretaclark3104 Před 3 lety +6

      KEEP Your Eyes on The PRAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @newmamaful
      @newmamaful Před 3 lety +9

      You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.

    • @eileenharder2473
      @eileenharder2473 Před 3 lety +13

      Wow. So hard when it's your parents. Glad you saw it and got away

    • @martinanoppeney8591
      @martinanoppeney8591 Před 3 lety +7

      keep up your protection. Cut their control out of your life. DO NOT LOWER YOUR GUARD.

    • @Pfsif
      @Pfsif Před 3 lety +9

      Wow, you caught on young, I wasn't so perceptive.

  • @devilsfancy
    @devilsfancy Před 2 lety +20

    Since it's an aging parent, my heart breaks on hearing that they're only going to get worse.

  • @rodrigoramirez7932
    @rodrigoramirez7932 Před 3 lety +65

    My mom started a "sweet old lady" persona...I can see right through her when she takes shots at me

    • @melanieknowles7002
      @melanieknowles7002 Před 3 lety +6

      True. My ex is now playing the sweet caring father he never was for 29 years. Grandpa of the centuary. Circus act i laugh at. Vomit. Vomit.

    • @redbone8844
      @redbone8844 Před 2 lety +1

      Omg my mom says shady things to me then she oh girl you know I’m proud of you 👏🏽 and love my daughter! I’m like after calling me loud etc she always deflect especially when I say anything about her Golden eggs (her son’s) it’s okay it makes me stronger! Nonetheless I still love her very much she’s good and bad at times especially emotionally!

  • @jamiefairchild1609
    @jamiefairchild1609 Před 3 lety +23

    I needed to hear this; I kept thinking my husband was getting worse as he aged. It’s disgusting.

  • @pattylyons9645
    @pattylyons9645 Před 3 lety +61

    Recently got rid of one who is also a pathological liar. Thank God I got him out of my life before he could do any real damage to me or my life. And looks wise, he is no prize. And when you talk about bigotry, you are spot on. And everything bad that happens to them is always somebody else's fault. Whew, glad I dodged that bullet.

    • @CodyCole80
      @CodyCole80 Před 3 lety +1

      👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @ponytail911
    @ponytail911 Před 3 lety +35

    Thank you Lord for not making me a malignant narc like my aging brother and sister! Amen ❤️

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Před 3 lety +1

      The Lord didn't "make anyone a malignant narc"......the devil is responsible for that.

    • @ponytail911
      @ponytail911 Před 3 lety

      @@reesedaniel5835 So true!

    • @12342087
      @12342087 Před 2 lety

      Thank you

  • @kerryannmoor5908
    @kerryannmoor5908 Před 3 lety +22

    So true! My 93 year old mother has no gratitude. Never had to work, nagged and embarrassed my Dad and me without mercy.
    Now she is in care and we all visit every week, but she tells each of us she has seen no family in weeks. She is delusional and angry most of the time and insisists that the staff steal her property, even underwear, and that none of the other patients want to be friendly. It is very hard to visit, knowing what s in store each time.

  • @jazminolivari5554
    @jazminolivari5554 Před 10 měsíci +8

    Your absolutely right! Having "Hope" in a narcissistic relationship is the most damaging thing to do towards ourselves!

  • @cindykoch6322
    @cindykoch6322 Před 3 lety +38

    I’m 61, my narcissistic mom lives with us for health reasons-biggest mistake ever and now, with Covid, we’re stuck. We’ve been away from her 1 day since March. Sometimes I think I’m going crazy!

    • @elchhangte
      @elchhangte Před 3 lety

      how old is your mother now...

    • @jamalsalim4349
      @jamalsalim4349 Před 3 lety +4

      @@elchhangte dealing with my 84 year old narc father. A horrible person mean vindictive and jealous. Satanic!!!

    • @CJ-jq4lv
      @CJ-jq4lv Před 3 lety +6

      Get a home nurse if you can

    • @michaelfried3123
      @michaelfried3123 Před rokem +1

      drain cleaner in her cereal...just saying.

    • @isay207
      @isay207 Před rokem +1

      You are not legally responsible for her Ive seen people dropped off at hospitals or nursing homes and left there

  • @mountainhobbit1971
    @mountainhobbit1971 Před 3 lety +16

    it is so sad to watch it all unfold and watch them totally fall apart...and yet I know the best thing for me is to stay away...I am not going down with that rapidly sinking ship.

  • @carolvevle8190
    @carolvevle8190 Před 3 lety +38

    I left the narca demon the 9th of May. We haven't talked since. He looks terrible & has aged 20 years!

    • @michellewall6748
      @michellewall6748 Před 3 lety +2

      Good for you!,,,,

    • @sharonshim5046
      @sharonshim5046 Před 2 lety

      Because of how wicked they are,they aged in a day. My ex soon needs a wheel chair it's nine months now and he walks bend and is only 54years.

  • @birgittejohannesen8452
    @birgittejohannesen8452 Před 3 lety +87

    That is the exact description of my ex who is now 60 - Thank God I was recently discarded after spending almost 17 years with him. A week after I saw a movie where someone was called a narcissist and I began investigating and now EVERYTHING that happened from our first meeting makes so much sense! May he be struck by karma and lightning ...

    • @happygirl8298
      @happygirl8298 Před 3 lety +5

      My experience was so similar to yours. So sorry you had to go through this. Happy to say I met the live of my life at age 60 and he’s not a narcissist, actually he’s a great man and very loving. And I have very healthy boundaries now❤️

    • @TrinketStarz
      @TrinketStarz Před 3 lety +4

      I met mine at age 17. Oh they should teach kids in school about narcs. He neatly ruined my life but Thank God he discarded me. 20 years later he shows back up. Located me, I still didn't know about narc abuse ( 2002) thought he matured. Nope same old same old. But this time I'm 51, and he doesn't scare me a bit. Now it's on and he's bleeding money. Even the judge saw through him.

    • @pinkdoll3578
      @pinkdoll3578 Před 2 lety

      And lightning 😝

    • @ednasmith4545
      @ednasmith4545 Před 2 lety +2

      I don’t normally co-sign strangers words but for this I’ll make an exception. May karma and lightning strike him twice.

    • @catrina4557
      @catrina4557 Před rokem

      🤣🤣🤣

  • @thebraziliangardener8481
    @thebraziliangardener8481 Před 3 lety +346

    they sold their souls to the devil,and the devil always come to collect its due,

    • @sorinapavel1321
      @sorinapavel1321 Před 3 lety +43

      They are the devil.

    • @katarinadelogu7010
      @katarinadelogu7010 Před 3 lety +13

      Exactly exactly 💔😥🤮🐍🚩🚩🚩👹👺💀💀💀👽👽👽

    • @phyllisgarcia2749
      @phyllisgarcia2749 Před 3 lety +15

      Go Brazil!!! You hit the nail on the head. Seems like narcs are their own worst enemy.

    • @bobbivaneman1584
      @bobbivaneman1584 Před 3 lety +23

      AMEN ! THEY ARE DARK DARK SPIRITS. SCAREY. HEAD FOR THE HILLS & DON'T LOOK BACK !

    • @bobbivaneman1584
      @bobbivaneman1584 Před 3 lety +17

      Brazil, I love how you said, collect "it's" due. That's what I call them, too. An "IT" ! A creature, a monster, a beast, a dragon, an evil spirit, no gender, an "IT".

  • @terrylemal5163
    @terrylemal5163 Před 3 lety +39

    You nailed my ex right on the head. I thought it was dementia! Thankfully he replaced me with his new supply. Finally at 62, I'm out. Phew. It all makes sense now.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 2 lety +2

      Yeah you’re lucky because she stuck with hell my ex ended up with his brother-in-law‘s younger sister she’s been married twice and has kids from two different men started dating my ex during our divorce you would think she would know better being a social worker she’s about ready to get a PhD in hell. I even sent her flowers for her surgery because you know what I’m so freaking thankful that girl but I just wish she keep them a little busier because he came back to me and he still in my family and my dad‘s friends it’s so messed up!! These people get so in Ashton your family there delusional they need to like get a life

  • @someonenew9442
    @someonenew9442 Před 3 lety +73

    Absolutely 100% accurately describes my experience. The only way is out or risk your own sanity. For anyone feeling trapped, please seek help as Kim advises.

  • @agnesstrzykowska4300
    @agnesstrzykowska4300 Před 3 lety +35

    You have just described my narcissistic mother who made hell of my childhood and who I had cut off for most of my adult life. Unfortunately, she is 90 and needs help with many things and I'm the only one who's able to take care of her. She doesn't bother to hide how much of disappointment and disgrace I'm for her. Still hurts 😕

    • @newmamaful
      @newmamaful Před 3 lety +1

      You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.

    • @Chahlie
      @Chahlie Před 3 lety +7

      I hate to hear things like this- my thought is "if I ever needed help would she have?" No....

    • @LCRC81
      @LCRC81 Před 3 lety +20

      Nursing Home! And free yourself

    • @Pfsif
      @Pfsif Před 3 lety +5

      Let her rot, she will screw you in the will and "get you" from the grave.

    • @TrinketStarz
      @TrinketStarz Před 3 lety +5

      Two words. Nursing home. My mother's nightmare is her own image. The narc sister she groomed, will be picking out her nursing home. My own mother asked me to kill her if she ever went in a nursing home nevermind the legal ramifications for me and how her Golden Child would inherit all she had. That thing didn't give one Whit about me so she can rot as far as I'm concerned. You're more than a saint than I'll ever be that woman disgust me to even think about

  • @fburnsDubstepEnderFox
    @fburnsDubstepEnderFox Před 3 lety +28

    My narc father is trying to evade the jaws of time. He fears his own mortality, so he's become a super health nut.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 2 lety

      I think everybody’s getting little confused here in the number one fear what the human being is death this is a number one. People are human and they’re gonna fear their and mortality is Dr. came in tomorrow and said you were gonna die that would be devastating news to you probably even need therapy to deal with this. I don’t think this is a narcissistic trait for sa I think maybe what she saying it’s an extreme concern because again everyone cares about their own mortality. I think this is more pertinent for the Narcissistic cares about the way they look but I’m not an expert what do I know I just know in psychology from studying at the biggest fear and human beings deaths were there in mortality so that’s common. It’s just not a good indicator that somebody’s a narcissist nor is being obsessed with their luxe I know some people that care way more than normal but they’re not narcissistic. I know narcissist that are not good looking and wrinkled all over but they play the good guy and it’s a covert type of narcissism. I think many narcissistic people get looked past because people are looking for this stereo typical model.

  • @catherinepraus8635
    @catherinepraus8635 Před 3 lety +162

    You look like a movie star today 😘 thanks for your inspiring words

    • @lizafield9002
      @lizafield9002 Před 3 lety +11

      Coolest haircut ever! Mine is a covid cut, raggedy but soon to be amended. Caring for an aging narcissist will shift one's priorities in a bad way!

    • @kimsmith819
      @kimsmith819 Před 3 lety +7

      Just about has the Marilyn Monroe look. Just like a movie star

    • @SilentFigure1
      @SilentFigure1 Před 3 lety +3

      @@kimsmith819 that is it she really looks like Marilyn Munroe.

    • @valerieobrien5521
      @valerieobrien5521 Před 3 lety +3

      That's what I thought. Jill has what I call " film star looks .

    • @valerieobrien5521
      @valerieobrien5521 Před 3 lety +3

      @@SilentFigure1 Marylynne was quite plain without the makeup mand hair dye, but this lady has natural good looks. Good cheekbones etc. Doesn't have to dress up to look good.

  • @melindale2022
    @melindale2022 Před 10 měsíci +3

    This rings true. I watched my MN mother (from afar) end up dying alone. Some people would say who were not in the know dementia was why she was acting so violently and poorly, but doctors would say no. She could not keep her lies together; all faults were amplified overshadowing any of the good aspects. It really felts as if she was trying to destroy everyone's life she could before she died even possibly taking a few of us with her. It was a very sad time for my entire family. She had a life of suffering and left sadness and confusion in her wake.

    • @vailhalla6572
      @vailhalla6572 Před 9 měsíci

      Your post struck a sadness within me, thank you for sharing it, and I wondered how you have felt differently (or if you even have felt differently) now that she is gone.

  • @GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023
    @GoogleIsAPieceOfShit2023 Před 3 lety +17

    My covert narc mother has been horrendous (more than usual) since she turned 65. She is 91 now - what a delight 🙄🙄🤦‍♀️

  • @wendypetersen7529
    @wendypetersen7529 Před 3 lety +17

    Thank you for this - I am married to an aging narcissist, and this helped tremendously

  • @sharonhorwitz7903
    @sharonhorwitz7903 Před rokem +5

    Thank you…as he aged, we met when he was 60, and ended it when was he 73, he got nastier and nastier. I thought it was my imagination, and frustration with the relationship, however this video validates his downward spiral. Broke, physical maladies, and normal aging, turned this narc into an animal. I did hope until my counselor confirmed he was a narc and no amount of therapy would help. I was just a woman that fell head over heels in love. 😢

  • @helenrothberg9182
    @helenrothberg9182 Před 3 lety +24

    Thought we could mature gracefully together. After six years I had to call it quits. Our son and I needed stability.
    Leaving him was absolutely the right choice ! Seems that I was secretly hoping for his awakening and self realization and we could be that loving family....if only.

  • @koolbeans8292
    @koolbeans8292 Před 3 lety +26

    I went NC finally after 59 years of that behavior. That first year was acceptance that I made the right choice.
    After I went no-contact then I got educated on narcissism, scapegoating, flying monkey,
    I had no idea what it was called. Over the years I looked into and worked on my own personal and professional development that came along with my new chiropractic career at age 40. all that resulted in the folks calling me arrogant. .While they sat in front of the tv. Never attended my graduation btw.
    And since I got that piece of paper, degree I think I’m so much better than the rest of the kids, aka flying monkeys, golden children.
    My narcissistic parents will never harm me again.
    I heard that they had to bury their golden child, oldest flying monkey sister age 67 a few months back.

    • @newmamaful
      @newmamaful Před 3 lety +1

      You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.

    • @karenfridie689
      @karenfridie689 Před 3 lety +2

      How sad, but how blessed you are. Better late than never.
      I have a niece who is a full blown Narc, resulting in 2 of her kids as one. The 3 are trapped for life.
      Thank God for putting their mother to sleep 27 years ago by her husband another Narc murdering her.
      If she was alive, she'd have slowly died.
      Narcissism, is of the devil as is ALL diseases.

    • @saltpeter7429
      @saltpeter7429 Před 2 lety +5

      My old man recently told my sister the reason he is so awful to us is "tough love. I'm there to keep you grounded". Wow. Same thing, wont go to graduations, sneers at new vehicles, told mr to drop out of school, my health problems are "annoyance" on and on and on. I now have kids, and this horrible person has the gall to criticize me. I honestly thought that even he knew he was a garbage father. He ignored us all, restoring old cars and swilling beer with friends. When I point out that he knows nothing about us he says "well, those are not my interests". He loves my older brother though, because he had a failed marriage and prefers alcohol and muscle cars to his own children.
      But I'm a loser for buying my kids musical instruments because " no one in the family plays music".
      I've been playing guitar for 30 years have been in bands and am on CD's. It is my passion. Yet It never happened.

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 2 lety +1

      What is the drug addiction because these narcissist don’t give a crap about their own children

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 Před 2 lety +1

      @@saltpeter7429 my accident go to his little kid‘s birthday partyies because it didn’t interest him it was boring I said that’s what you do for your kids when you love them it’s not about you. I didn’t notice that that was a problem years ago I just thought he was a selfish jerk. I’m gonna mask fill off when I got sick I learned a lot he used me to get where he was in my dad and my dad was still friends with him after he threaten my life and coerced the attorney into me to drop the charges what was it and do I didn’t have a job my dad told me I should stop working on my brother was found dead because my mom couldn’t babysit my daughter it’s a hot mess of hell. I’m glad it’s over and I have a lot to do though divorced gonna be three years still working on Learning all I can about these sickos

  • @lydias.coaching
    @lydias.coaching Před 3 lety +50

    Definitely, I think to have hope when it comes to narcissistic people is dangerous no matter what age. The hope I had before I discovered what I was truly dealing with has nearly destroyed me. We have to face reality to be able to make the best decisions for ourselves, to be able to heal and move forward.

    • @cynthiawhite8868
      @cynthiawhite8868 Před 3 lety

      This video hits the nail on the head so true about aging narcissist have dealt with them OMG

    • @jackiepowell7513
      @jackiepowell7513 Před 3 lety

      Who says this?

    • @jackiepowell7513
      @jackiepowell7513 Před 3 lety

      Re: suicide

    • @lydias.coaching
      @lydias.coaching Před 3 lety

      @@jackiepowell7513 Hi Jackie, I'm not sure. There was a reply to my comment that mentioned it I can't see it here now I'm not sure why that was said.

    • @jackiepowell7513
      @jackiepowell7513 Před 3 lety

      Let me see, I 'll find it? Not sure?

  • @fondacormier4773
    @fondacormier4773 Před 3 lety +14

    That video was perfect in describing older Narcs. It really does get worse and the word Pathetic describes them to the T. The mask comes off because of their inability to manipulate and control and reality sets in. Thank you so much for your insight and knowledge on an issue that continues to devastate our society.

  • @valeriemichelle07
    @valeriemichelle07 Před 3 lety +86

    OMG!!! I was just about to ask about their bigotry. I'm seeing this part of her personality with more frequency as of late (daily, actually). While she's always been bit of a colorist and classist, it's worse as of late. I'm not sure if the presence of my Father had helped me get past this part of my Mother's behavior when I was growing up. But now, the b.s. is intolerable. Her behavior is off the charts. And I have no tolerance for it -- and don't mind calling her out at every turn. And my refusal to hear the b.s. -- let alone agree with the b.s. -- has been the cause of quite a few days of "the silent treatment". Of course, I've learned to make a vacation of those moments of "silence".

    • @IvorMektin1701
      @IvorMektin1701 Před 3 lety +7

      Old farts are racist AF🙄

    • @valeriemichelle07
      @valeriemichelle07 Před 3 lety +6

      @@IvorMektin1701 Exhausting... Truly...

    • @geraldfriend256
      @geraldfriend256 Před 3 lety +3

      I heard a while back that older people lose their filters..so the racist stuff is just more apparent but not new to them

  • @valeriemichelle07
    @valeriemichelle07 Před 3 lety +50

    I've been trapped with one for months now. Thanks, Covid!

    • @GreekGypsy
      @GreekGypsy Před 3 lety +3

      Prayers you get free 🙏

    • @terri412
      @terri412 Před 3 lety +5

      Drive him covid crazy Starve him and have fun doing it..Wink ! Stay strong Valerie.. sending you love and light💗 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️💗

    • @valeriemichelle07
      @valeriemichelle07 Před 3 lety +2

      @@terri412 THANK YOU, TERRI!!!

    • @Star17venus
      @Star17venus Před 3 lety +6

      My heart goes out to you. After recently escaping the first week of lockdown, it dawned on me "OMG what about the targets that will be trapped in the shituation?!" Not a day goes by that I don't think of you & the others.
      I try to spread awareness on social media.

    • @alicewilliams4375
      @alicewilliams4375 Před 3 lety +3

      I didn't go home with my husband and he went full blown and I now have a No Contact with him and he was doing okay then I found a check on the door he was standing on camera about ten minutes and still didn't knock on the doorI'm going to get an order of protection on my husband

  • @langyd4518
    @langyd4518 Před 3 lety +10

    I have both parents with narcissistic disorder. undiagnosed. I suffered so did both my brothers, one committed suicide while he was still living in their home at 23 years of age. I failed to help him the last year when he needed help because I did not have a therapist. So I have some insight into this area. my advice for anyone going through this is to spend a good year finding a therapist that works for you because you will need one just to touch base with and maintain a stable center for yourself. As a sufferer of narcissistic abuse we are both prone to repeat it and prone to fear a therapist because we feel something is wrong with us. But don’t forgo getting help, you have no idea how much it will help you to have support. One thing I’ve noticed about therapists is that they are better if they have gone through it themselves. But any of them can offer support.
    This video was pretty good. I have noticed that a lot of these videos don’t have it all correct. But the videos are a good learning tool. Look for regular people who have gone through it, this is the best therapy. Talk to your siblings about it only if it’s safe to do so don’t talk to them if it causes danger for you or more family rift.
    My third tip is don’t take the advice that is floating around out there about no contact. This isn’t true and it’s too extreme unless you feel your life is in danger or your abusive family member is doing extreme psychological damage to you and this usually happens when some other psychiatric illness is present like we could suffer major depression plus be dealing with the narcissistic parent or person. In this case, it could be a good idea to separate for long periods of time if the narcissist is a parent or totally separate if the narcissist is a partner. It depends on the type of tie they have to you and how severe the abuse. For myself, I have found that there is a certain amount of good in our relationship with the bad. And temporary separations work best for me. I will do my duty to them as a daughter but I won’t be a doormat for them.

  • @kathypariso6102
    @kathypariso6102 Před 2 lety +8

    You are so right…the last five years of his life became even more filled with rages and temper tantrums which were unpredictable and almost non-stop! After he passed, I finally realized that I was suffering from PTSD that took me several years to overcome.

  • @lennykoss8777
    @lennykoss8777 Před 3 lety +9

    My mom was a geriatrics nurse for 30 plus years. Narcissistic alzheimer and dementia patients were fascinating.

  • @dapage5
    @dapage5 Před 3 lety +58

    I can definitely relate. This video helps to understand more about the weird things he does. It is getting weirder by the day. Everyone keeps saying he might be getting Alzheimer’s, but I doubted it. Thank you, this video has been very insightful.

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 Před 3 lety +3

      Paige,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!

    • @makeacomment1001
      @makeacomment1001 Před 3 lety +1

      My narcissistic father got really bad as he got older and died of alzcheimers.

    • @shewho333
      @shewho333 Před 3 lety +2

      My parent got sooooo much worse after dementia.

  • @arleneevans6342
    @arleneevans6342 Před 3 lety +11

    Spot on. Mum definitely a nightmare atm. I'm 60 and I'm in lockdown with 81 year old mum. I'm her carer as she was diagnosed with vascular dementia several years ago. I'm in hell. All her resentment is at me. She even started physically attacking me now during her ever increasing rages. My poor dad tries to pacify her as she screams she's she's not happy and being ignored. She's a mad mad woman

    • @judiezell4306
      @judiezell4306 Před 3 lety +5

      Please seek help asap! Your comment scares me for your well being! Many blessings and take care!😇🙏❤

  • @Katie_Woo
    @Katie_Woo Před 2 lety +3

    I just got away from a narcissist who decimated my self esteem.
    He was a decade older than me and use to chip away at me by telling me about the girls he'd dated in the past and how a couple had even been models, he'd call them 'beautiful' and 'supermodel beauty queen types'....then turn around and call me 'attractive'. It was like a knife to the gut, because he was creating a very clear divide between how he saw the girls from his younger years and me, bearing in mind that I'm only 36 and I'm in great shape. I went from being confident to feeling unattractive in 8 months and like I desperately wanted him to see me as beautiful.
    Then it all fell into place- he controlled me by keeping me insecure, he was trying to make me feel like I was with someone out of my league by being with him. He had been a very attractive guy in his twenties and thirties, but at 46 his life choices had caught up with him. So to make himself feel better he bragged about the past and whittled down my self esteem.
    But now that I'm free of him it's as clear as day, I'm not ugly, he's just got an ugly heart that's full of utter poison.

  • @suzipetit851
    @suzipetit851 Před 3 lety +21

    Wow gives me hope my older children will see this and come back into my life at some point

    • @melanieknowles7002
      @melanieknowles7002 Před 3 lety +3

      Dont be a prisoner to your family. Live your life. Heal your soul. Stay healthy. God will change their circumstances. HE will give you wisdom what to do next.

    • @TrinketStarz
      @TrinketStarz Před 3 lety +1

      I have a nearly 40 year old son I have deemed a lost cause. Of my 3 kids he is just as narcissist as his dad. Sad but true. Nothing will dissuade him. Only God can fox tjat and be prepared that not all will see the light.

  • @published2809
    @published2809 Před rokem +3

    They get even more hateful and blame others for their wrong doings. Ignore the beasts they don’t deserve recognition! Let them suffer from their mistakes and do not look back! Be happy and go on with your life, not theirs.

    • @christianeburton4518
      @christianeburton4518 Před rokem

      I know I'm loving your video ! Vengeance is mine says the Lord our GOD .. AND now every Hellbound Narcissi
      st gets just what they Get!! 👍 So , Throw that Wretched human in a home and god go live.

  • @lovelightshining4444
    @lovelightshining4444 Před 3 lety +18

    Lived many, many years as an empath with a covert narcissist. So thankful for your divine work. It's literally opened my eye's
    and probably saved my life.
    However, now that I've identifed her as a covert narcissist the monster has really come fourth!
    To the extreme point of saying, "I'll have you killed", if I had a gun you'd be dead long ugo", " if I had a bat I'd bash you fing, brains out"! and on and on.
    This is real and extremely dangerous.
    I will definitely be moving ASAP.
    THANK YOU SO MUCH!
    😘💖

  • @huko4266
    @huko4266 Před 3 lety +356

    Narcissistic parent who is jealous of their child’s development

    • @Canaday291
      @Canaday291 Před 3 lety +26

      You are describing the malignant narcissist dad of my children.
      He sabotages and maligns all of their progress and efforts at becoming independent secure
      Happy peaceful and well adjusted
      And coercively controls them from pursuing THEIR
      Passions and dreams

    • @lonewolf3828
      @lonewolf3828 Před 3 lety +26

      Been through all that!!! That’s sooo sick! It literarily made me 🤢! And it did. They are stick ,sick,sick people!!! My mom was jealous of me, and she destroyed 2 of my relationships!! Now I am left empty and lost and all my joy is out of me!!! Trying to find the way back! I transformed into a person I never thought I would! Aggressive and sad, empty full of hate sometimes. There even more things I don’t even want to mention!!! Psychopathisch stufff .All the best!!! God bless

    • @Contessa998
      @Contessa998 Před 3 lety +10

      @@lonewolf3828
      I’m so sorry. It’s beyond imaginable. I too am aggressive and full of anger, but I have decided at this point in my life I cannot do this anymore I cannot live this way. I am going to therapy. I did inherit a depressive Mindset which makes it twice as hard to fight

    • @lonewolf3828
      @lonewolf3828 Před 3 lety +9

      @@Contessa998 feel you there man!! Thank you for you’re comment!!!!!!! I am in therapy too! God is good more than good!!!

    • @melissahoffman9433
      @melissahoffman9433 Před 3 lety +6

      Omg yes. My entire life. ❤️💪🏼❤️

  • @betterlatethannever7337
    @betterlatethannever7337 Před 2 lety +13

    This was really helpful.
    As I approach 70 I've tried to understand why the narcissists I know become hyper critical and even more difficult.
    It makes sense they may be desparately struggling to hold onto the last vestiges of their superiority and entitlement.
    I am so glad for these videos that give us all the tools to avoid their abuse.
    Thank you!

  • @mamab4720
    @mamab4720 Před 3 lety +23

    Thank you! What a great video. I have a narcissistic father and now a partner that I'm looking for a way away from. It's making me pysically ill. I'm with a Covert narcissist my first husband was a malignant narcassist and now a Covert snuck in before I knew about narcissists at all. I'm devistated but have come to the realization that I've gotta call it quits. We are middle aged and he's only getting worse. I'm disabled and it's really tricky how I'm gonna do this.

    • @grammamarth6681
      @grammamarth6681 Před 3 lety +2

      Praying for your way out.

    • @deborahcollins1100
      @deborahcollins1100 Před 3 lety +2

      Praying for you to safely escape. I am 72 and have been married 36 yrs to my second narcissistic husband. Didn’t know about narcissism until a few yrs ago either. Only after researching bi polar did I realize that my husband is definitely a narcissist. Anyway they do get worse as they age I believe. My husband will be 69 in April and still works thank goodness but of course he can’t keep working forever. I believe he is a good worker. I am definitely his scapegoat. He rages and carries on then we have Mr Nice Guy that will do some thoughtful things. I should have left a long time ago but now our home is paid for and I am on his health insurance with diabetes and other health issues. So if you believe God is leading you to leave you should do so of course❤️🙏

  • @mabogayderousselle832
    @mabogayderousselle832 Před 3 lety +5

    My ex narricisst is 60 and very immature like a child and said he hasn't grown up yet it takes time unbelievable shocked a grown man would say something like that immature behavior always playing the victim I'm in recovery healing rebuilding my life

  • @JaimeWarlock
    @JaimeWarlock Před 3 lety +22

    I never expected my ex-wife (covert narc) to ever change. I just carefully manage my skype time with her. Everyone has pretty much abandoned her as her health has plummeted. As much as I can't stand living with her, I don't hate her. I know her family history, her mom was a monster (heard from multiple in-laws). Recently, I have noticed that she will try to stop raging and she has recently admitted she desperately needs people. She still gives 30 minutes lecture to her 7 dogs though, lol. I honestly believe given a couple centuries she could be cured. Unfortunately, we don't have that much time.

    • @mysticjen379
      @mysticjen379 Před 8 měsíci

      Are the dogs a thing? As in are multiple voiceless sentient beings as pets a thing with ageing narcs? Makes me wonder!

    • @JaimeWarlock
      @JaimeWarlock Před 8 měsíci

      @@mysticjen379 I really don't know, but I do think they are helping her. Recently, she was talking about a crazy friend and told me that she realized that she used to do the same thing but worse. She use to go into rages all the time, but I haven't seen her get angry for months now.

  • @Kattykat63
    @Kattykat63 Před 3 lety +5

    I get exhausted trying to figure them out, I just want to heal my wounds so I can stop all the hate that I have from betrayal and try to trust people again. It's such a heavy dragging feeling.😣😟

  • @Richard-vq7ud
    @Richard-vq7ud Před 3 lety +17

    I have had a life of one discard after another, 9 "soulmates". Finally at age 52 I woke up. Im 55 now. These guys were all gorgeous. I saw 3 of them, and now they are butt ugly. It is like their inside ended up on the outside. Now, at age 55, i look and feel more handsome than ever. I love it.

  • @nancyarchibald9095
    @nancyarchibald9095 Před rokem +3

    Fantastic analysis and you really nailed it on their pathetic behavior. My adopted mother is 94yrs old. Her lashings and judgements literally spew from her abusive tongue. She snarled at me for the last time about 2 yrs ago. I have never felt freer since cutting off all contact. My 67yrs have been hellish. Me, my husband, 7 children & numerous grandchildren are never good enough in her eyes. Her son is her caretaker. They are mirror images of each other. I wish them well, but I'm through trying to please her.

  • @sorinapavel1321
    @sorinapavel1321 Před 3 lety +12

    So true! And we call that senility. But it ain't. It is what they do since childhood but when they are old they don't mix it anymore with commun sense, because they lack the energy.

  • @chloewaller1589
    @chloewaller1589 Před 3 lety +12

    Thank you so much for this video..
    My father is a nightmare to deal with and a classic malignant narcissist. He is 80 years old and last year tried to marry a 30 year old illegal immigrant from El Salvador to give him his nardacisstic feed. Nightmare situation.... The Dr. Phil show even called about it.

  • @brianmasemola5256
    @brianmasemola5256 Před 3 lety +10

    Thank you for this helpful and healing session. My father is a covert narc and my younger sister is a malignant narc. You can imagine the situation I'm dealing with at the moment. I thank God that you have created this helpful and healing channel. May He bless you more than He has already done.

  • @erictyrka7068
    @erictyrka7068 Před 2 lety +4

    Thank You for this educated video. My 82 year old narcissist Mom lives with me and my wife, and also our 12 year old son. Every Holiday gets ruined all the birthdays and special occasions, she makes everybody on edge. She does have her flying monkeys, and the three of us have been through all the campaign smearing . I have learned the best is no contact thank God for a related living setup. And if there is any communication the grey rock method works the best. I have not talked with her since last Easter of 2022 because she blew up calling me a A-Hole and my wife and son stupid. My Aunt told me years back to be careful around her and don't jump every time she wants you to, and live your life. Alot of people don't understand this and blow it off as some kind of dementia and feel sorry for her. I had issues 30 years ago with the same things, I guess that was dementia too?

  • @kimsmith819
    @kimsmith819 Před 3 lety +14

    Cant wait to hear about this. I heard it and learned so so much. I have left my narcissist husband about 4 times in 2 years. Im 48 and he is 64. He says he changed but every time I go back to him he is a butthole still. Im kinda happy for this information knowing he will always be a butthole. I know that I need a therapist but I haven't went yet. I just didn't want to admit another failed marriage but i believe that it is failed. He was amazing when we met and turned into a different man about 10 years into our marriage. I tried figuring out what happened to him for the next 8 years. I came up with a narcissist. Final answer 💔💔💔💔💔 I don't think he will ever change no matter how much he claims to love me. Thank you so much for the information

  • @bentnotbroken772
    @bentnotbroken772 Před 3 lety +4

    This explains my husbands ex to a T. She is still trying to make our lives miserable and she is still trying to alienate the children. She’s only 46 and the amount of plastic surgery, injections and rage she is exhibiting is unbelievable. Thank you for posting.

  • @Celt_Downunder
    @Celt_Downunder Před 3 lety +19

    I see this so clearly now. Thank you. Perfect description. I have been trapped by a Narc before. But never again. Not only have I escaped, and gone no contact and am experiencing total indifference to him and his hoovering; I stand back and watch his pathetic desperate behaviour unfold in text book style. 2 months into our ‘relationship’ he abused me with angry tirades. I was so shocked I was in tears and then I had the courage to say No More. He is a 63 year old falling down drunk who says he’s is ugly now. I’ve put him in my phone as Humpty Dumpty. The only reason he is there is because we have mutual friends who have not yet witnessed his paranoid demise. But they will in time. There is no HOPE and I pray anyone watching this who thinks there is will get this one very valid and life saving message.

    • @findingdori6219
      @findingdori6219 Před 3 lety +1

      Thank you! I’m so sorry u went through this. Me, over 14 years! I’m out

    • @Celt_Downunder
      @Celt_Downunder Před 3 lety +1

      @@findingdori6219 I did 8 years with a previous one and thought he was bad. I wonder if they up the anti when they know we are on to them.

    • @findingdori6219
      @findingdori6219 Před 3 lety +1

      @@Celt_Downunder be ever so careful of the Hoover. Mine just last week. Handle with care.
      Use...
      “I’m sorry to hear that.”
      “That’s interesting”
      “I’m sorry you feel that way”
      “Whatever”
      These statements stop them right in their tracks to try to lure u in as another supply.

    • @Celt_Downunder
      @Celt_Downunder Před 3 lety

      @@findingdori6219 love it.

  • @lorimrasek7611
    @lorimrasek7611 Před 3 lety +3

    I needed to watch this video due to the fact my Mother in Law was your malignant narcissist. She passed in 2018 but she also made some of her wrongs right, I still couldn't be around her, her energy was always thick and vile, when I was younger I had it out with her, she knew better than to pull her crap on me because I was on her like a fly on you know, I wouldn't allow my children alone with her, she did so much damage to her two sons it took yrs for them to understand she wasn't normal by any means. So thank you, you confirmed everything I knew and witnessed.

  • @Catherine_Kate
    @Catherine_Kate Před 3 lety +21

    I ❤️ you. You are the quintessential target - someone who has it all, including a very big heart! Wish you every success! ☀️💛✨

  • @ChristiaanHartNibbrig
    @ChristiaanHartNibbrig Před 2 lety +3

    Well done! You have described my almost 83 year old malignant narcissist mother perfectly. I recently went 'no-contact' with her mean, petty self, and feel like Forrest Gump when the leg braces came off. I feel free for the first time in more than 50 years! Thank you.

  • @BunnyLang
    @BunnyLang Před 3 lety +4

    Feeling sorry for her, especially in her old age as she is getting feeble, knowing she became this way through her own childhood has made it difficult to break away. However, I realize, intellectually at least, it's dangerous to be in relationship with her for my own mental health. Thanks for the video.

  • @paxshanti108
    @paxshanti108 Před 3 lety +4

    I worked tirelessly for years to heal my codependency. I was finally divorcing my emotionally abusive covert narcissist husband of 25 years - and he killed himself on 12/7, abandoning our two children.

    • @krissmith7500
      @krissmith7500 Před 3 lety +2

      He has done the children a favor

    • @paxshanti108
      @paxshanti108 Před 3 lety

      @@krissmith7500 I hear you and I agree, Kris. One big period of grief now, in exchange for lifetime of disappointment, hypocrisy, and heartbreak.

  • @wildplanet1151
    @wildplanet1151 Před 3 lety +3

    After years of torment and lately violence from a family sibling who is, I know, malignant narcissist, I have cut off all contact with her and I now feel liberated and free.

  • @bandieboo8102
    @bandieboo8102 Před 3 lety +4

    Great video! You are so right. They become so desperate as they age...I have witnessed this first hand. They were so good at abusing and being in control...they lose it when they can't do this any longer. Rotten to the core... just like a bad apple..x

  • @violetpelham2067
    @violetpelham2067 Před 3 lety +19

    Jill , I absolutely love your new haircut and style ! Beautiful ❤️

  • @hazelebony5688
    @hazelebony5688 Před 3 lety +2

    Wow! U nailed it, my husband to a T. Im done after 24 years, now after being at home and secluded, Im stepping out! Im going to get a job, and hopefully fulfill some of my dreams.........4 grown children and 2 step grown children........... 6 grands altogether, but, im done being drained of the life he sucks from me. All of my friends are gone, my family is uncomfortable..........Thank u 4 confirming what i was thinking! Empowerment!

  • @SeeDemDeh
    @SeeDemDeh Před 3 lety +8

    I love this one 👌🏾❤️. Really timely for me because I am with an ageing Narcissist.
    Sometimes you maybe surprised to know know what age constitutes an ageing Narcissist......the madness starts at an age lower than you think .

  • @kayak9078
    @kayak9078 Před 3 lety +5

    You described my aging bio dad to a tee! God bless you for bringing this to light!

  • @jbilotta
    @jbilotta Před 3 lety +13

    My mother recently tried to shame me for my father helping me out when I was living in Manhattan. He wanted to do it and I really needed the help. It never dies. My mother also tries to keep this superior act that she was married and gloats about how much my father loved her. I’ve lived independently most of my life but never married/never found the right person. It was awful. I am so tired of her cruelty.

    • @Star17venus
      @Star17venus Před 3 lety

      I'm in the same boat as you hon. Stay strong & keep physical distance if possible.

    • @newmamaful
      @newmamaful Před 3 lety +1

      You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.

    • @jbilotta
      @jbilotta Před 3 lety

      @@newmamaful - Thank you I’ll check it out

    • @kimgibbs6585
      @kimgibbs6585 Před 3 lety +3

      Mommy dearest is jealous of you.

    • @jbilotta
      @jbilotta Před 3 lety +1

      @@kimgibbs6585 - I believe you are absolutely correct!

  • @gorunsko31
    @gorunsko31 Před rokem +1

    😳thank you. Just found the description of my husband. It cannot be more accurate than you presented. My eyes 👀 were getting bigger with every statement and so were my ears from listening so hard… ❤️🙏

  • @dreamscomingtrue6424
    @dreamscomingtrue6424 Před 3 lety +1

    This is so sad. They will never be happy. Truly happy. No matter what.

  • @sharonreesechud7881
    @sharonreesechud7881 Před 3 lety +11

    I love your new look. Very sophisticated

  • @FrancesShear
    @FrancesShear Před 3 lety +5

    I sure needed to watch this video. I feel secure enough about the future because my 4 children are sensible adults and so all I have to do now is encourage and support their parenting and careers. Starting with having extra space in my home too just in case something goes wrong for one of them starting out in their career.

  • @christinethornhill
    @christinethornhill Před 2 lety +1

    ‘ My ‘ covert online narcissist displayed numerous photos and films of himself as a much younger man. However, upon receiving one of himself in the loving arms of his very attractive mother I was able to quickly establish the fashion of the era …. He said he was just over 30 ,,in actual fact he is in his sixties ! Many of the previous images could be regarded as being from anything between ten or so years previously, as the style of dress is so fluid. Imagine being finally presented with a photograph of someone a good thirty plus years older than their narcissistic image wishes to display. A phone call also put paid to the incredibly well voice acted voicemails…. It was the disturbing tones in his laughter that were sufficiently creepy to enough to chill the blood of any hardened soul, let alone my own. Never disregard your gut feelings…. they’re generally one hundred percent accurate. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @NYCSouthernGirl1
    @NYCSouthernGirl1 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you for this video. It explains my mom's obsession with getting older. She is not accepting aging at all. Anytime she's excluded from anything she thinks it's because of her age and ironically not her narcissistic behavior 🙄. I hate to admit that I have dreaded her becoming dependent on me or my sister as she ages but here we are. I'm praying for some sort of compassion towards her because at this point I don't have much.

  • @eurasian55
    @eurasian55 Před 2 lety +3

    So my mom will get worse she's 83 and I will have to put up with her. I'm already on Xanax & antidepressants AND seeing a psychologist. I use to drink but stopped. Honestly feel like starting again. She's getting worse. I wish I had a sibling. This feels like I'm in jail. Thanks for this video. ❤️❤️

  • @savedtwice7925
    @savedtwice7925 Před 3 lety +6

    They become '' Pathetically desperate ! '' ... Their supply starts drying up as they age and they begin to starve . Pathetic describes them perfectly . Thank you Jill for another perfectly spoken video . Like me and many others , you are a real survivor ... and i thank God for that . Praying for all those who are struggling to find a way out . Your videos are a big help . Thanx for sharing :)

  • @bluecollarlit
    @bluecollarlit Před 2 lety +1

    this was great.
    in the old days the emphasis was keep the relationship together.
    Now we learn, best to go No Contact.

  • @helenahon
    @helenahon Před 2 lety +2

    You are so accurate, my goodness! Yes the aging narcissist is so pathetic, so delusional you'd think he has dementia. I am so glad he left me. I did not have the strength to leave him. God or the universe helped me. Or you could say it was a stroke of luck. He stormed out after a particularly bad fight and I changed the locks.
    It was 2016. He has not been able to get back
    in since though he has tried. I have not been happier. The albatross truly fell off my neck.
    He has never hit me. He wasn't violent. But his style of abuse was financial abuse -- exactly in the same way u spoke about in your earlier video. He would also steal my car and drive off with it leaving me high and dry with no way to get to work or move about.
    Financial abuse is one of the most insidious ways of abusing someone. You see, there are no marks on the body, no one believed me. Even the police laughed at me. They said look it's just your husband borrowing your car. You can't report it missing. We can't help you.
    Thank you for talking about this. At least I know now this type of abuse is well known and that I am not the only one who has experienced it.