things aren't going as planned | Aja Dang | first time homebuyer
Vložit
- čas přidán 25. 05. 2023
- I'm Aja Dang and in this video, I'm sharing my story of how things aren't going as planned and how I'm feeling as a first time homebuyer. I hope you can learn from my experience and be prepared for the bumps in the road during your home buying journey!
As a first time homebuyer, you're definitely going to experience some challenges during your home buying process. In this video, I'm sharing with you some of the things that have been going wrong for me and how I'm dealing with them. (I'm not actually dealing with them, just crying lol) I hope that by sharing my story, you can learn some valuable tips that will help you during your own home buying journey!
•ITEMS IN VLOG•
Casper Mattress: bit.ly/3qg6i4f
Casper Bedrame: bit.ly/3WyWFtz
Mattress Protector: amzn.to/422eNNP
•JOIN OUR FINANCIAL DISCORD•
/ discord
• END CARD/GRAPHICS •
Chrisline Raymundo: chrislineraymundo.com/
•STAY CONNECTED•
MSTRPLN: www.mstrpln.co
Website: www.ajadang.com
Instagram: ajadang
Twitter: ajadang
THIS is what people don’t tell you about home buying. Home buying is so glorified but these are the unexpected costs after buying a house that we often don’t hear of
And a lot of sellers never maintained their properties :(
home maintenance and renovation costs are literally all people talk about about havving a home lol
Girl, do one thing at the time. Only focus on getting the gutters. Let the house look the way it does now for now. Everything doesn’t have to happen right away.
I can’t believe it’s even legal to not have gutters in the US! Get gutters!!! It will help with water issues so much!
That’s what I’m saying. You knew it didn’t have gutters when you purchased so that (or any structural issues for that matter) should be the top priority
Gutters first and then move onto flooring. Gotta fix the problem first
Yeah gutters definitely before floors or it will happen again
Yeah. The gutters seem to be the most important. We had a damaged gutter when I was a kid and it can literally put a hole in the side of your house if you don't get it fixed. Water does serious damage.
Hey, Aja. My husband says don’t pull up the floors. You can just replace the part that is rotten. Those hardwood floor can be sanded and refinished. They can last forever
For the leaking about the door, go to Lowe’s and Home Depot and get some gutters. You can temporarily divert that water until you get the gutters professionally done
I hope she sees this!
Yes! I had the same issue with water seeping into our hardwood floors. Thankfully we were able to fully dry it out with minimal damage, but my plan was to just replace that area if needed.
Yes, stop the leak, then repair the damage.
Yes, those look like nice wood floors that can be restored. Maybe just add a small area of tiling by the doors or patch with new wood if that part is too damaged already!
Hardwood is expensive. You can just resurface the floors you already have for a brand new floor look. Get them sanded and re-stained. No need to rip them out!!!
I can feel your anxiety through the screen. As someone saving for their first home, This is eye opening. Sending postive thoughts to you, rough patches don't last forever. This is just a moment in time that you'll get on the other side of.
start putting aside money for all these little incidents and furniture!
One step at a time. You can do it!
Hey Asia, I just wanted to assure you that a lot of what you are feeling is totally normal after buying a home! Especially because of your story with paying down debts. You just got out from under student debt and now here you are again, with a mortgage. It’s a huge mental weight. And right now your vision of your home isn’t matched up with the reality. There’s always projects and things to fix. Try letting as much of the non critical go as possible. Focus on the good. You’re doing great. ❤ Moving is stressful so allow yourself time to adjust and settle in, and remember it will work out.
💕💕
Aja, you’re not alone in your feelings!!!
My partner and I bought our first home (built in 1939) in a new city last July and the first few months were really tough for me. My anxiety literally kept me up until 3am every night and I felt like I was crying everyday. I started going to a therapist, hoping there was a magic fix to make things better and it didn’t seem to work. There was a point that I made my partner promise that if it kept feeling like this, then we would sell our house at the one year mark and move even if it meant taking a big hit to our finances. It felt terrible feeling so horrible about buying a house, when it feels like it’s this big exciting life moment that everyone celebrates. Slowly, things started to get better and a year in I’m really happy we did it. We haven’t been able to do any of the big projects on the house that we first planned, but small stuff has really made it feel like more of a home. I guess I’m writing to let you know you’re not alone in feeling like this, but also things will get better. And if they don’t, that’s okay too and at least you’ve learned what you don’t want!
This is probably the most I’ve shared with a complete stranger 😂 But don’t forget your worth and how amazing you are! Even if your house is the priority right now and other things have to take a bit of a pause, look at what you’ve created for yourself and achieved. You and Brian bought a mf’ing house!!!! You’re a boss.
Thank you for sharing your story and experience ❤
Heyo, homeowner here with unsolicited thoughts - I think that diverting the water away from your door is definitely a need to prevent further moisture intrusion but maybe you don't need to replace the floor yet; let it dry out and save up for new floors. Gutters and drainage to divert water away from the house foundation might be a greater need to ensure that the house foundation itself isn't compromised with all of the moisture. You should keep an eye on the area around the door frame as well since it's getting so much moisture and ensure that there's no dry rot developing in that area. Good luck!
Agreed !! I would prioritize water drainage away from the house. Water problems are no fun
Yes, THIS. This is the culprit of so many home issues that are often neglected until too late (even though it’s accumulative) if you can do this you can save yourself a lot of distress and money.
Yes, you're going to need more than gutters with that much water intrusion. Grading the ground away fro. The house and putto g in some kind of canopy or awning over the doors and windows that is tied into the waterproofing of the house.
Seriously mold is NO JOKE
@HanaHasi I think the canopy or awning would be a GREAT idea. Absolutely agree about the grading too. French drain can always be considered if the grading can only be changed so much. I know they can be pricey, but would be much less than dealing with foundation issues. Agree that gutters is just one part of the solution. Dealing with water is unfortunately challenging. 😔
From your school loan journey, wedding budget, and now the home, I find it so comforting to be reminded that I am not alone in being overwhelmed going through the motions of these financial decisions. With a house purchase, my emotions have been a roller coaster of one day I’m excited and proud, to the next day I’m freaking out about can me and my family really handle this. I think a saw a comment on your previous video saying the first 2 years are the worse and I have been trying to believe that an embrace the difficulties will simmer eventually. Celebrating the small wins
You got this girl!!!! Think of it as untangling wires/a tangled necklace…..go slow, patience, one thing at a time.
The first few months in a new home are usually like this. Take care of putting a roof over the door and getting gutters first, next take care of the electrical issue with the a/c, then get the part welded on the driveway gate. Then work on more furniture and getting settled so you can work. The new floors and remodeling can be done down the road. Also, maybe call an exterminator and have them spray around the outside of the house and yard. There are more bugs there than in LA because it rains more. Take a deep breath, try to relax and just tackle one thing at a time. ❤
This!
Seconding this!!!
Hey. So I just found your channel. I just wanted to say that I went through this exact situation a year ago. I (somewhat impulsively) bought a house that wound up costing me far more than I had anticipated. I had a nervous breakdown, regretted it more than I could ever explain and generally felt like I made the biggest and most expensive mistake of my life. Like you, I also had the experience of everything going wrong as soon as I took possession and wound up having to borrow even more money to renovate. I also have a dog named Levi :)
Shortly after I moved in I was sitting with my friend in a sushi restaurant, choking back tears as I explained the mess I had gotten myself into, and how homesick I was for my old place and my old life. She told me that I would feel better about it over time and that in a year I would have a totally different outlook on it all. I wanted to believe her, but just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel with this one.
I told her that if that was the case I would owe her an AYCE sushi dinner, as I would have bet anything that this would always feel like the worst thing I've ever done.
Well, a year has gone by. I still can't say the whole situations was *worth it* because I don't think any material acquisition is worth the immense anxiety, depression and stress that I put myself through. But I am A LOT happier and more comfortable here now. It took many months, many dollars and a lot of renovating, but it does feel like my home. I think I owe my friend some sushi.
Sorry for the long winded comment. But I just wanted to let you know that even if it doesn't seem possible, this will get better. There will be a time when you're glad you did it. Just keep swimming.
You are not alone! We bought our “dream home” and it’s been a nightmare. We have only been here 7 months and have had to put in $65,000 on repairs only to find we had mold in our kitchen and had to remove 1/4 of the kitchen and it’s going to cost another $50,000 to redo the entire kitchen. I have spent alot of time crying over this. It isn’t covered by insurance and wasn’t caught at the inspection. Hang in there! Glad to know I’m not the only one.
It will get better. It might take some time, but things will be better
Also, just know that although it's so overwhelming at first, your SKILL set is about to expand exponentially and so will your confidence. You will know how to fix things you've never even touched before, and you'll know what's a big deal and what isn't. You'll feel like freaking superwoman and your home will become your kingdom because you put your heart into it. Just keep in mind that anything worth doing in life is scary at first. You don't do things because they're easy, you do them because they're hard - then you conquer them! You got this, boss.
I started watching your videos a few years ago, when I was 1) barely working 2) living in a studio apartment where I could literally touch the oven from the bed 3) in debt. YOU inspired me to get out of debt, and, in November 2022, I bought a house alone, as a freelancer, in the country. My unsolicited advice to you is this: focus on, and be grateful for, what you have now that you never thought you would (including a leak in your very own entrance, a broken gate in your very own driveway/backyard and insects in your very own living room, lol). Fix what needs to be fixed immediately, like the leak, and really get to know your house before embarking on any major renovations. You will not regret becoming a homeowner, I promise you. You got this, girl! ❤
Aja, I promise you'll get through it. I felt the exact same way when my husband and I purchased our 1st home in August 2021. We had over $25k in repairs that were not caught during the inspection, including a sewer line rupture that had our home smelling awful for months. I cried almost every day and I thought we made the biggest mistake of our adult lives. Almost 2 years later our home is a stunning, fresh smelling, safe haven for our future family 💕 It makes me so grateful on days when nothing is broken, the sun is shining, and the grass is cut. The most important thing is your sleep and stress management (good for you for setting up the bed). That will help prevent more incidents spreading into other aspects of your life, like the car crashes. Maintaining a good relationship with my partner was key, too. We were a team and it made me so grateful that I wasn't doing it alone. Keep the joy and the fun. Have game night and a glass of wine with your hubby. You'll look back on these moments and laugh. Now, when one of us stinks up the bathroom, we chuckle because it's nothing compared to having 4 inches of waste in your crawl space 🫠😅 Hang in there, your home will be everything you dreamed and more! 💕
Only a minute in and I’m already relating so much! My husband and I bought a house in February and it’s felt like one disaster after the next. I just keep telling myself we are catching up with everything the last owners neglected and that it won’t be like this forever. Hang in there. We got this! ❤
I just bought a house this month and said the same thing to myself. The last owners neglected a bunch.
Nahh just homes in America are built so cheaply. They don’t hire engineers. I’ve owned 2 homes in California an older built 1986 and 2010 built. Both had leakage when it rains. It wasn’t the windows either, but the actual structure. The roof was newly installed along with the rain gutters on the 1986. The newer built was from the structure around the windows, and same thing happened with my neighbors. They replaced their windows and it ain’t it. Sold both homes in California and cashed a home in Finland. Never have any issues with this condo built 1984. Red bricks and concrete, super sturdy, arctic windows 6 pane windows, glass balcony, and free geo heating. My first home in Finland, same never had any issues for 3 years of owning it, never had to spent a dime on repairs, just built to last. They do pipe renovations every 50 years to ensure clean water. Everything is engineered, even the bathrooms you cannot renovate your own bathroom, must get an engineer and licensed contractor. Anything wrong you hold them accountable for life.
Lol it will be like that forever
Big group hug to all of us first time home buyers in these last few years. I’ve owned my home for two years and some days I look around and and say “fuck this place”, and other days I’m out in my garden, watching nature, or sipping a drink on my deck, LOVING it. It’s hard. Just learned about something called ‘nail popping’ in homes that go through extreme weather changes rapidly, I think there are birds (or bats) in my attic that is hard to access, wood eating pests are afoot and our original 30 y/o windows are all wood (😅)…yeah, this is a hard process. But the days that you can look around and say “this is mine”, are worth it.
thank you for being so raw and open about that you all are going through. So happy no one was injured in the accidents. sending you positive energy to get through all of these challenges. yall will come out on top!
🙏🏻
I feel you Aja. It's hard and no one talks about this. I had so much regret and anxiety after buying my first home because of the renos. I'm a perfectionist and everything was HARD and took TIME and I couldn't control things the way I wanted to. I hope that things will come together with time for you. Just know that nothing is permanent. It feels like a MASSIVE amount of time and money but in the end it's just a home. You can take your time with it, it'll come together. It doesn't need to be perfect NOW it just needs to be shelter and it'll slowly come together.
Hang in there, Aja. I bought a new construction home in July 2016. 13 months later, the first floor of my home was under 2.5 feet of water because of Hurricane Harvey. I didn’t have flood insurance because I was zoned in a 500 year flood plain. I scrambled to get $65k in home renovations done in less than 5 months. Believe me when I tell you that I was beyond devastated… emotionally, mentally and financially. It took a lot out of me, but I survived.. stronger and better than ever. You will too. Keep your head up and welcome to Houston! ❤
When we finelly bought our house we did not move in for a month. It was such a painful experiance, that we just could not look at it. Now 8 years down the line, not everything is done yet- never will ( and I had to accept it), I love my house. Stay strong, you will get there. Just do not put all that pressure on your self to have 'everything covered'❤
New things are always rough and absolutely uncomfortable. It shows GROWTH. You got this. This is such a huge adjustment. You will overcome, prevail, and succeed
Five years. Give yourself five years to get your home to where you want it to be. I put a lot of pressure on myself to have everything done immediately and it was unnecessary pressure. Good luck on this journey. Wishing you positive vibes!
Completely agree. Five years seems like a long time, but when you have a house that needs fixing, the time goes quickly. The first year is chaos. It’s testing you. The second year you get more pride and motivation to tackle more. Year two we tackled landscaping, year three we enhanced rooms the way we wanted to live in them, the fourth year we did necessary but unsexy things like get a new driveway. Now in year five my house is beautiful and I just went art gallery shopping for the first time knowing my house is worthy of beautiful things to go inside and give it a personality. You will get there. I’m convinced the phrase blood, sweat and tears refers to home ownership!
I wish you the very best. I was also a first time homebuyer and there was no one in my family or friend circle who could give me advice. It was coincidentally during my worst year at work so I was so stressed and full of anxiety. It was hard for me to even complain to my close people because I was one of the few people in my circle that could even afford a house and it really was a blessing and privilege to do so. It felt like such a first word problem to complain about so I kept everything inside. Even though I didn't have much help during the process, I would never wish this level of stress upon people I know so every time I find our someone I know is looking to buy a house, I offer my support if they want it. When I think back at how I survived that experience, it makes me feel proud at myself and anyone else going through first time home buying. I hope you can overcome this all and feel the same way and proud of yourself.
Speak kinder words. Nothing is hard. Positivity is contagious.
The wrecks and everting happening with the house is definitely energy. Clear that and work on 1 thing at a time. Starting with THE most important thing and work your way down. Everything is going to work out. It always does. It literally always does
Take it slow, you have your whole life to make this your home. I felt very much the same, buying my first home and trying to get everything sorted straight away but then I slowed down and just did a little bit here and there and each year I love it more and more. My grandad always says, do a little, leave a lot ☺️ xx
You're not alone Aja. My hubby and I got a house in 2021 and while we're enjoying trying to be an adult figuring things out, what I found so interesting is that I was so stressed for at least a good 2 years because it was a HUGE mess, lots of costs, just not knowing how to design a place, realizing there needs to be more decluttering when I thought I was done etc. It's not glamorous at all but thankfully I have a supportive spouse that helps me emotionally going through this whirlwind. The best tip I can give is focus pne room/space at a time, esp the most important room for you first. Don't do impulse buys esp big ticketed items unless you know you truly love it. Julie Khuu who's an interior designer and has a CZcams on here says one said "buy what you love" and that always has stuck with me since. I no longer but anything unless I truly love and need it.
I recently moved to the Houston area from NY. It has definitely been a journey to try to find our footing in a new state and a new home. Less than 2 months in, the freeze caused a pipe to burst and it flooded half the house. Being a homeowner means there's always something that needs tending to or fixing, so just take it one day at a time. Also, these mosquitos have been absolutely insane!
get citronella candles and tiki torches for your outdoor areas, they work great. Don't underestimate Houston mosquitoes they get me even through my workout leggings T_T
Welcome to Texas!
Give it some time, you'll figure it all out. Just tackle one thing at a time...the rain coming in and the breaker tripping should be first. Don't worry about the floors until the water issue is fixed.
This how I was feeling last week.. we didn’t even make a year yet and we got the old fence replaced with no issues…now I had wanted to check the old rotted deck the house had and when the contractor started to remove the old wood it just revealed how poorly constructed the deck was..it was like they were playing Jenna with 2 X 4s. Then the foundation that was hidden that the inspector couldn’t see was falling apart…we had a hole in the basement wall, the pantry is on a slope…the contractor had to support it for us until would could knock it down…
I was stressed and crying..because something so simple turned into a nightmare…my husband and I are 20k in the hole…just by repair alone..the deck wasn’t even started yet…thank God the contractor who is working on this is helping us out because he sees that it’s our first home and he feels bad…anyone else would have taken our money and left everything..
This is why I was hell bend on not overpaying for a home people lived in and didn’t upkeep it…you spend more money cleaning up the last owners lack of care to the home…
But I really did feel like I made a mistake in getting a home..because it really cost us a lot In under a year of being here…definitely something to think about..owning a home has a lot of pros and cons…
Good luck on your journey as well..I definitely know how you feel trust me…I’m going through it too…
Neem Oil works for mosquitos ....Neem bliss + dish soap + water in a 1 gallon pump sprayer (from lowes/hd) spray it everywhere outside the house....as a bonus works for fungus & bugs on your plants :)
I recently just moved out of state of California where I was born and raised. I’m am struggling really bad with anxiety my heart hurts, I’m shaky, and I’m constantly scared. I feel like I made a mistake everyday I’m trying my hardest to stay calm. I feel everything you are feeling right now. You are not alone.❤
Hi Aja, my husband and I just bought our new home in November, and just letting you know what you're going through is what all new homeowners go through. I was 28 weeks pregnant when we moved in and we had little help. Within a month, we had a plumbing disaster, got COVID, then immediately we both got Strep. Since it's nearing summer we now have a bug infestation (carpenter ant and wasps) we are dealing with (cause we thought it was romantic to live in the woods 🙄) and the masonry on the back patio is crumbling. Things are still in boxes and bubble wrap. But I'd like to say it gets easier managing these events! just know you are learning your house and you're building a new life all while transitioning out of an old one - it takes time. Just remember that the intention and energy you brought into this endeavor won't be in vain. Everything in time. I find what helps me is saying "this is temporary." It helps me get out of catastrophizing and feeling like there is no end.You'll learn to prioritize what needs to be done. And don't forget your strengths. You're smart, persistent, dedicated, a great planner and problem solver. You have ALL the skills to help you meet this new era of your life. Sending hugs!
Lol, same here. Our home is in the woods, We been dealing with all this annoying “neighbors” that a raccoon family that lived underneath the house. All this type of animals that will show up uninvited. Also, a mama bear that will come with all her cubs and get any trash out. Gardening $ composting 👩🌾 outside is also almost impossible. Another thing is the trees, you always have to make sure they’ll not come down and destroyed your property. However we still love living up here, but there’s lots of stuff that lots of people don’t understand about living in the woods.
Thank you for your honesty!!!!! I want to be a homeowner one day, but doing it alone scares me... I don't think ownership is ever a mistake, but I do think it changes our priorities. I hope things get better for you and your family 🌻
Omg as a first time home owner I so relate to this. Crying, regret, happiness...such an emotional roller coaster. You are not alone sister.
Buyer’s remorse doesn’t mean you made a mistake Aja, you’re just processing. I just bought my 3rd home that needed fully renovated. Even with all of my experience and planning things just went wrong. 😅You are a problem solver so you want to fix everything at once and it’s just not possible (I am the same). My very best piece of advice is the pick one room ONE (we always start with the master bedroom) and finish it completely and quickly. I mean top to bottom paint it, furnish it, window treatments the whole thing so at the end of the day you can go in there shut the door and your eye and you brain can rest. You are going to need a sanctuary from the storm. It seriously helps.
This! ❤
You've got this! Six months from now you'll feel much much better about everything!
that's what I'm hoping!
Completely agree, owning a house is a constant track of what to fix next.
The stress of being a new homeowner is REAL. Our home is a new build, and we moved in the same weekend as our neighbours who live in the attached villa behind us. It turned out that though we'd tested the water and drains, when you suddenly have 5 people showering, washing clothes etc, you'll soon realise there's a problem. I woke up the day after closing to our garage completely flooded. The drain system was full of construction scraps, and as their house was higher, it was all spilling out of the drain in our garage I was so stressed I didn't even cry, and I am a crier.
But let me tell you Aja, 2 years later we have our furniture and appliances, our home is comfortable and loved, we just painted our bedroom and hung some curtains, and I love it so much. It is such a blessing to have a home, but it can take time for it to feel that way xx
You got this girl. I was 19 when I bought my first home. I was still in college and I was renovating a property for the first time. I was so so so broke so I was renovating it all with my father's help (go dad!). I ate my meals, did my homework and watched movies on the floor for MONTHS. It's rough, but realizing that the home is YOURS is powerful. It's yours in every way.... And yes, NOTHING goes to plan. "Doing everything and getting nothing done"... You are not alone in that feeling. Take breaths, be grateful for a good partner (and doggies) and a roof and keep on rolling with it. It will all settle in time. Keep breathing...You got this...
if you stop paying your property tax, your big daddy government takes it away. It is never truly "yours" theres always string attached to it.
@@notanotherseahorse8369 😬🙄
@@notanotherseahorse8369 does that alleviate the stress of property repairs or what’s your point
Awwww! Don’t feel like buying your house was a mistake. In life, mistakes are lessons in which we learn and it makes us better and stronger in the end. Homeownership is not always easy, especially in the beginning but I’ve owned my house for 10 years and I’m pretty proud of everything I’ve put into it. Things will get better soon! ❤️
Aja I feel for you! Going from being an apartment renter to owner of an old ass house is a big adjustment. I think the financial lesson here is to plan for 1-4% of the cost of your home for repairs ANNUALLY. This is above and beyond mortgage, taxes, etc. Take it from someone who owns a home built in 1950- 4% is pretty conservative! All that said, I feel like it’s Murphys law that everything breaks in the first year. 😂 Hang in there, keep positive and eventually you will gain some momentum with the house.
I like it that your real with your vlog. Everyone try to make their life look so perfect on their vlogs. We just purchase our first townhome and it’s wasn’t easy trying to make the place look perfect..it’s always one thing after another..hang in there girl..you got this.
Homeowner of 2 years here--things are always going to be breaking, so watch a lot of tutorials to enhance your DIY skills! You'll save a lot of money in the long run if you can learn to do things like hang those gutters yourself. I've done so many things on my own that I had no prior knowledge of, but it works out every time. You've got this!
I saw a quote that said "the last thing to grow on a tree is the fruit" you're doing it all and you will reap the benefits, its just a journey not a sprint. You've got this!
I wish I could come give you a hug. It all takes time and home ownership is tough. People glamorize it, but let me tell you - I just spent 2 days pushing sand across my lawn to level it. Not glamorous at all. Sending lots of love and positive energy your way from Austin ❤
I get it. Home buying/selling isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be but everyone is in a different situation. You’re not alone! Hugs 🤗
I've always appreciated your transparency with financial struggles and stress. It's possible that buying a home was a mistake or maybe it'll turn out to be one of your greatest decisions - But I think it's too soon to make that assessment anyways. Give it at least six months to iron out the urgent to-do's and build back up your safety net. It'll get better!
Sending lots of virtual support! The joke of house ownership is that the house owns you more than you ever own it. These feelings are 100% normal. As a military spouse who moves a lot, these feelings are common even when you've made the move a few times.
While it won't fix the water coming in, getting a dehumidifier will help remove the excess moisture from your home. A good shop vac that can suck water is also key to remove excess moisture from your floor boards. Updating the weather stripping around your doors & windows will also help; that's a small trip to the hardware store that can pay dividends.
You did not make a mistake going on this new adventure of homeownership/moving. Car wrecks suck but I am so glad neither of you were injured!! thank you for being so vulnerable in sharing with us. I wish I could say it isn’t all too relatable - The perpetual anxiety is hard to shake. I swear it’s coincidental but my timeline is so aligned with yours: got engaged July 2021, married September 2022. We bought a house and closed on it 10 days before our wedding. I got in a car wreck while leaving the realtors office after signing our closing papers. Add to that career stress, etc… For me it’s gotten to a point I’m seeing a professional about it. It’s like the universe sees all these good things and wants to throw some 💩 in the mix to see how resilient we can be. Gratitude and a support system [including our pets] helps but don’t be afraid to reach out for more help 💗
Thank you for continuing to be transparent and sharing the ups and downs ❤
Hang in there girl! Thanks for sharing your story. Sending you all the positive vibes and a huge virtual hug 🤗.
My husband and I bought in Dec 2021, and although we're grateful, we are still incurring unexpected costs a year and a half in, home and personal (so I really feel you). I feel like these are the types of things people don't tell you about being a homeowner. Sending you hugs because I know it's not easy, but I'm right there with you.
Sending you hugs and prayers, Aja! I hope things turn around for the better soon. Thank you for being real and posting what you have been going through.
I want to give you a big hug! Please give yourself some grace. You are in a place where you cant do anything well because youre spread too thin. Focus on one thing at a time and celebrate the small wins. I love that you are showing this side and being authentic and vulnerable. It just sucks to hear and not be able to do anything for you. Don't be scared to lean on your community in Houston. Everything is going to be okay!! One. Step. At. A. Time. You got this.
Make a list and focus on what you can control. If you cannot control it, let it go. Slowly you will make and see progress. Keep going!
I just wanted to say hang in there. As soon as we closed on our first house 6 years ago, I regretted it. I didn't realize that you can't call the landlord if something breaks. We have skylights in the bathroom that leaked and a window seat in our kitchen that every time it rained outside, it rained inside. Now we have drainage issues in the yard and need to replace a fence. There's always something that will come up. I love it now and am so glad that we bought our house. Pest control service helps with the bugs (they come quarterly for us). It's overwhelming and doesn't feel like you're making progress even though so much money is being/has been spent on things you don't see. But it will come together and you'll be so proud of what you've done. Maybe starting to work out could help turn it around for you. ❤❤❤
I’m sorry that this is happening to your family. It’s so hard when things happen all at once and it feels like an endless downhill. Sometimes things fall apart and they get better. Its not that it wasn’t the right move, but things happen when you take risks such as a big purchase. Even though it’s hard try to take breaks from your stressors, like for now the home is not exactly the most relaxing place, maybe try taking the dogs at the park, new restaurant, or go to a workout class or go to a cafe and work. You got this! We are rooting for you and all the new homeowners going through this!
The universe knew I needed to see this video. I just bought a house, and even though it was completely renovated, I still got it inspected. Everybody thought I was being extra and that the inspection was a waste of money on a newly renovated property, so I didn't get a survey. Exactly one month to the day after I move in, what do I find? That the previous owner installed an AC unit that is about a foot over on my neighbor's property, so I can't put up a fence for my dogs, and it's going to cost $2000 to move. Had I got the survey, it would have caught this issue and I could have made the seller give me a concession. I've been depressed for 2 days about it. I hate it here. :(
Thanks for sharing. I absolutely can relate being in the same boat and lived in my condo for 2 months. I don’t feel completely I belong. My family reminds me to give it time and accept the situation. I also don’t know when I’ll feel absolutely better but i remember i feel much better today than the 2nd week of me moving in. It’s so important to share struggles with your support circle because they just want to help you. And you have to let them help you. Sending hugs.
I appreciate your honesty in sharing these challenging times. I’m getting ready to make a big move and even though I’ve saved up to have a safety net through the transition, it still feels scary. When my anxiety gets overwhelming, it’s important to take time to prioritize my list and make sure to get in some small wins along with the big wins. We’re with you!
Oh aja! I bought my first home at the same time but i promise it gets better! It does knock you down a bit though realizing the cost of repairs or renovations but you just have to adjust your timeline and kind of go back to the bare bones! Im on fb marketplace every dang day because to fill my home with furniture my budget is so so small to make sure i have enough for those big repairs. Just know it gets better and sometimes bad days compound on each other but you always get through it!!
I feel ya girl! I’ve been on the same boat for over a year. Change is always hard but things will get better just give it time. Hang in there. 💜✊🏽
Hugs! Love your honesty and vulnerability. I felt the same way when I moved states and bought a house. I cried the first 2 months but then things started getting easier, routines started and friends were made. You totally got this and your gratitude at the end was wonderful. Your dogs are a gift and you have done so many amazing things over the years. You got this! Thinking of you and I promise it will get better :)
Sending you lots of love! You’re doing amazing and the best with what you have!! Thank you for sharing the struggles. I don’t think it’s a sign of a huge mistake - I think change is just really hard and sometimes when it rains it freaking pours (literally in this case!)!!!
Maybe hard is sometimes just a new challenge that we haven’t mastered yet. You’re so strong girl. Look at all the things you’ve accomplished and inspired so many of us. You did that, bish!!! You got this!!! We’re here with and for you ❤ Love you, Aja.
Sending and hoping for good vibes to you! And no, you moving across country to a new state is not a mistake. You can live anywhere in the world, and still have doubts, insecurities and etc. It really takes a lot of self-reflection and intentional healing and progress to work on yourself. As an introvert myself, moving across multiple states to completely start a new life is hard work. It really takes a toll on you mentally and emotionally. I am so proud of you to have the courage to speak about that here on yt, because not a lot of people show and talk about such things. I know that life is so hard for you both right now, and I hope better things will come. I hope that after all of this, you two will come out stronger. Homeownership is hard work. And a reminder: it's better to take care of your home vs neglect your home and watch it fall apart. So props to the both of you for putting in effort!
Hi Aja, I have watched you for years and never signed in to comment. I guess today is special...Congratulations on the home. Obviously, no one can tell you how to feel or not to feel your feelings. Becoming a home owner is stressful, however, I would just offer - when multiple things are going wrong, or not according to your plan, slow down. Slow down your mind, slow down your expectations and just move with the process. Prioritize what is the most important thing to do. Give yourself a year or __________ to furnish the home, deal with the things that are coming up without stressing yourself out. Try not to be hard on yourself.
Sending positive thoughts and peace your way. Everything will work out in your favor. You are showing a side of homeownership that some people don't share ( that stuff goes wrong and it can be hard at times). I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty ❤️
Thank you so much for your honest vulnerability. Sending lots of love your way and hoping things start to feel a little better in your new home. ❤
Sending you so so so so much love! You’re building a new life there and it will take time build your routine and life. 👊🏼 you got this! xx
Thank you for your transparency 🥺
Thank you for sharing your journey and your vulnerability. I'm also a first time single family homeowner and our first year was eye opening. Hang in there, it'll all be worth it once you settle in and things normalize. Sending you love, comfort and strength. I hope your house becomes your home soon enough.
Aja, thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing! I can relate to this so much: I moved from CA to another state to be with my fiance and we bought our first home 6 months later. It was so overwhelming adjusting to a new city and state, in addition to navigating first-time home ownership. I doubted my decision to move constantly, but from my experience I can say it eventually gets better!!! It takes some time for your home to be at point you envisioned, so tackle one project at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed. Hang in there girly, it will all work out in time ❤
Sending you love and support Aja. You're incredible for being so real with your audience and sharing the struggles of life. Like was said before, try to only think of one task at a time and embrace the chaos/unfinished reality of everything else. Remember yourself and try to get those routines back in the meantime so you're more equipped to tackle the stress. You've got this!!
Appreciate the transparency as always, hang in there, it will turnaround it always does, kisses from Ireland xxxx
This was very much needed for me. Thank you for being open about the struggles of being a first time homeowner. My fiancé and I have been going through IT! Definitely taking an emotional toll on us each time something comes up.
That was so real! Thank you for being vulnerable! This will get bettern
I can totally relate and something very similar happened during our home purchase/reno. It’s all growing pains. All you can do is celebrate the small wins, fix what you can, and ask for help. You got this. ❤
Girl, yes. This video made me so reminiscent of our first home. We had very similar house issues and then some you’ve described. It’s tough, but every project, hardship, and task you complete you are gaining experience that you will keep with you forever. ❤
the bigger the struggle the bigger the blessing. you got this🙏🏻❤️
I think your doing great. Is normal to feel like this. Keep reminding yourself exactly this. And also to take things one at a time. Don’t focus on getting it all done, but enjoy the process of doing it. We all here for you. ❤
Just found your channel and this was a good video to start on. I see some parallels with my own life. Thank you for being so real and so honest.
Aja, I think it's great that you are acknowledging that you're having a hard time. What you're going through is hard. I relate so so much. When we brought our home, I swear everything that could go wrong did go wrong. And it was stressful because we made a huge purchase and then all these financial issues started showing up (more updates than we were planning, car broke down, miscarriage, and so much more). My husband was at work longer than we planned so I ended up dealing with a lot by myself and I felt stretched emotionally, mentally, and physically with two small kids under the age of 5. We too wondered if we had made a mistake. But it turned out to be a good thing for that stage of our lives. I'm sending positive energy your way. Feel your feelings but know that it does get better. Thank you for sharing so we can all feel like we're not alone (no one in my life shared that they had felt the way I did so I thought I was just not enough, Lol).
Oh girl, I totally feel ya. That’s a lot to deal with all at once. It can be hard becoming a homeowner, but you have also moved from California to Texas. That’s a huge transition and will take some time to adjust, so have grace for yourselves. You will get used to things and get into a routine again. Focus on getting your house in order, which it seems you’re already doing, then you can better focus on other things like your business. Praying things will go more smoothly for y’all.
hang in there! you guys will get through this! we bought an older house too 5 years ago, and my husband has been doing the repairs here and there. love your transparency! I appreciate that so much.
Aja you have everything you need in your life right now. I hate life's upside downs but after awhile I am slowly learning to just ride the wave and not resist it...and just experience it all...we just moved a year ago, got a house, left my comfy job and was lost for a while...a long while...but I had my constants to help me pull through...my bf and my dog Bella got me going even though I thought I hit rock bottom. Last Monday, my dog Bella passed away and I will trade everything just to have her back...she really carried me through it all. Cherish what you have right now, keep holding onto the good things, the positive things, hope is coming soon...there's no way but to get back up...the rain will soon be over. Just hold onto your umbrella and your loved ones, endure and learn through life's challenges.
It will all come together Aja!! You got this. Proud of you for reflecting on the things you are grateful for. Keeping you in my thoughts ❤
You've got this girl! You are so much stronger than you think❤ you're going to get through this then this lesson will be able to be used for others. You're a wonderful role model 🙌
So sorry you are going through all of this, Aja. I just know things will get better for you.
You are handling so much and imo still handling it like a boss.
Thank you for always being so open and vulnerable with us. Sending love your way 🩷
You are going through many life adjustments at the same time. Compound that with the 2 unexpected accidents….that is a lot! I appreciate you sharing your vulnerability. There is strength in vulnerability. Sending you and Brian virtual hugs. I trust things will get better in time.
So sorry you’re both going through so much. Can’t believe you were both in car accidents too! I hope things get better for you soon!
Just watching the first minute of this....I cannot tell you how much I resonate with all that you're going through! My husband and I also just bought a home at the end of last year....and no one tells you how much stuff comes up in the first few months. What we struggled with the most is a lot of that initial stuff you end up needing to address is all the "back-end" things like dealing with gutters and floors etc. or in our case we had a leaky roof and some foundation issues that may not be as exciting. So you end up putting all the more "fun" things like furnishing and thinking about the way your homeis going to be and feel on the back burner.
And it's emotionally draining.....no one tells you that....trying to manage and figure out a house while also managing and all the other stuff in life can be a lot. It's hard, but literally taking it 1 day at a time is what we had to tell ourselves to get through it all to eventually begin enjoying our home.
It’s a great investment and don’t stress about getting everything done at once. Focus on one room at a time. Front water leak area takes priority and then look up handyman in your area. Ask your neighbors if they have anyone they use- that can help save you money and stress to fix little hiccups that pop up like your gate situation. You got this!!!!
Buying a home and moving is very stressful. When I did it my anxiety was through the roof! But, it does get better and you settle. Take on one project at a time and it will be more manageable. Best of luck
I am grateful to see this heartwarming video! I am grateful for your truthfulness. You were my motivation to pay my student debt. I have no doubt that you would be able to do this!
I can totally relate to this. We recently move in to our new home (First week of March) and it has been a hard 2 months initial transition. Unpacking, getting everything organized, fixing/installing things that needs to be addressed, buying/installing appliances, buying/arranging furnitures, and these are on top of everything else going on on a day to day basis (kid needs to go to school, fed, daily chores, dogs needs care, etc.)
Hang in there Aja. You are doing your very best with the situation and things you can't control. Remembering the things to be grateful for. Love and light!💜💜💜💜
You got this! One day at a time. We’re always where we’re meant to be. You guys and the dogs are safe and healthy so all is fine and the house issues will get resolved.
If you haven't started floor work yet and if the floor issues are contained to the front door(aka- that is the only part badly damaged that 100% needs immediate action, the rest could make do with some reconditioning instead of changing), you might consider one of those tiles flow/blend into wooden floores type of situation for your front door. I've mainly seen those in open kitchen setups, but it could also work by the front door, help separate the entry fway fom the rest of the livingroom and cut down on your floor changing costs for now.