Refused to Give My Wedding Jewelry to My Stepdaughter for Her Wedding. So, My Husband...
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- čas přidán 1. 05. 2024
- Refused to Give My Wedding Jewelry to My Stepdaughter for Her Wedding. So, My Husband * Me of Ruining Her Wedding, and Demanded I Put His Daughter Before My Own.
#redditrelationship #redditupdate
Fran doesn't want the jewelry. She wants to take something important from OP and her daughter.
She is gonna “want to have them for a little longer” and then “lose them” once pp’s kid gets married
@@cototototorra7106 I was gonna say the same thing
Exactly
💯
The fact that Fran turned down the replica jewellery raised my suspicions. She knew that it was from OP’s first wedding and very sentimental to OP and her daughter. I suspect that she was hoping to take away that specialness and either damage it or lose it. In any case, she didn’t have good motives here.
I never understood why it is socially acceptable to say no when someone wants to barrow things like money or a car but not when it's A sentimental item. I mean I would rather give my car keys to someone then the antique jewelry my deceased father gave me if I was forced to make a choice.
It is acceptable when you are dealing with someone rational, which Fran isn't.
She doesn't want the jewelry, she wants to take something away from Anne. That's the only explanation.
It's not your fault it's Hank's fault because Hank's daughter would probably ruin the jewelry and not give it back.
Was the mother treating the daughters differently?
She said yes and no depending on who she was talking to.
Is talking out emotions poisoning people? When OP does it to her brother and dad it's not. Why?
@@gwenrichard7507Both daughters were adults when they remarried and therefore she doesn’t have to treat them equally especially when Fran was making an ADULT DECISION to actively ignore OP and only attempt to connect for self serving reasons. She’s not a child that needs to be coddled.
@gwenrichard7507. Hank's daughter is an entitled manipulator. Hank's daughter is 26y.o. OP and Hank are married for 3 years. So, obviously OP never raised Hank's daughter. Hank's daughter has her own mother. Hank and his daughter seem like con artists trying to extort OP's jewellery that has nothing to do with them.
It's kind of adorable that OP doesn't quite realise that it had nothing to do with the jewelery and everything to do with taking something that is hers and driving a wedge between OP and her husband.
Sounds like Fran wanted the feeling of having jewelry that was passed down
But you can't steal/force the sentiment she'd have been better off taking OP up on the offer & custom making something for Fran to pass down
Yeah, not even the same ones. She should have just had them make her new ones based on her own desires.
Make the gift really mean something.
I think Fran saw this as a win-win situation for her, and she wanted the jewelry because either,
1) She heard from OP it was something precious to her, and if agreed, she would have taken a very important and sentimental oportunity for OP and Annie. Or,
2) If denied, she could twist the situation into OP being selfish and disliking her, putting OP at odds with Hank.
Either way, all Fran wanted was to hurt OP and "show her her place". Glad it backfired :)
I think Fran wanted "something borrowed and something old" for her wedding and really showed how little she cared about OP and Annie
OP is not the AH, you were willing to pay for custom jewelry. This 20 years(give or take) after you had yours made which would mean that they would have been more expensive then when you had them made.
@@jacobyflower3344 The jewelry is from her first marriage, reason why she found it important for her daughter from that marriage should be the next one to wear it. Daughter might have said that but it was to be worn by her blood child first no matter what.
@@jacobyflower3344 It is said multiple times that it is jewellery made from a friend for her first wedding to Annie’s farther and, she even said she would pay for replicas of the jewellery witch would be way more expensive today than 20 years ago. This is Fran wanting to take something from OP and Annie. if it where the case that you would be right OP would be the AH but that’s not the story told and OP tried to come to a conclusion that would make everyone happy but Fran showed it wasn’t the look she wanted. It was that she wanted to take from OP and Annie.
And for the point of the daughter not caring sounds like she wanted to be nice and try and stop the fighting. But it’s OP’s jewellery her no should be enough for everyone that the of this sentimental jewellery is saying no not the person who the owner wanted to wear the jewellery first.
Finally Fran should have at least had the grace to appreciate the offer of getting replicas made if she appreciates OP. Like OP says she is still in contact with the person who made the jewellery so that it could be replicated the best it could. Like girl if you really wanted the jewellery as something to connection to your stepmother she have you an option and was ready to drop how expensive it was for you. OP isn’t playing favourites she is willing to do stuff to make her stepdaughter happy but Fran said if it’s not the original then I don’t want it!
@anastasiapratt1875. Even if OP's jewellery didn't have any sentimental value, it would still be okay to say no to demands of some adult woman who became related just through marriage of her father with OP. OP owes her nothing.
I don't think the step-daughter wanted the jewelry to sell, but because in her head having the jewelry made her "superior" as she said. She clearly is insecure about Op's daughter and probably wants to have something over her head. It wouldn't surprise me if she had said something like "Op is so nice that she let me wear her wedding jewelry before her own daughter."
He’s gaslighting you to make you feel bad. Stick to what you think is right don’t ignore any gut feeling you have.
so he knew he was in the wrong yet continued to ignore u?? 😭 he is childish lmao
I actually was more upset that he said she should let Frannie wear the jewelry before Annie cheapened it. I understand he was manipulated m, but seriously, what was that supposed to mean
@@ShontaySmith-kr6th He didn't say that. He said that OP was acting as if Fran wearing the jwelry would cheapen it.
@lunarsensitive1 thank you for clearing that up, I was really upset when I thought he said that
He wasn't childish, he was manipulative.
She seems too desperate to have that jewelry to me. Op is definitely not the AH here
Op totally wouldn't get the jewelry back afterwards. Why would Fran give it back, it's her wedding jewelry now too, it's sentimental to her now too. She should keep it as a memory of her special day, OP's feelings be damned.
BINGO and Hank would throw a temper tantrum then just like he is now to force OP to give up her jewelry.
Always amazing to me that people will blow up relationships for some shiny rocks and metal 😂
If it is all it takes for it to happen, then it wasn't worth it, but the main thing here is the sentimental value part. Clearly Fran didn't have the best intentions for the jewelry or just wanted to start an argument to play the victim
NTA OP. Fran never made any attempt to even try to have a relationship with you. Then asks to use/have your wedding jewelry. The sheer nerve. Fran is an entitled witch. Fran should wear her own mother's jewelry or dad can buy her own. See the way that Hank attacked OP is a deal breaker. He handled that all wrong. Hank and Fran are AHs. Big ones.
The Stepdaughter has some issues. She was an adult already when OP married her Father, and she didn't attempt to form a relationship. Of course OP loves her Daughter more, because her Daughter has been with OP for the Daughter's entire life. Stepdaughter has only been there for like 4 or 5 years, and barely spoken to OP.
Yes this. Some of the comments don’t seem to grasp this and think she should just adopt Fran as if she is a little baby or something but if she’s an adult and makes zero effort to connect then OP owes her NOTHING. Especially when it comes to items from her dead husband’s wedding and sentimental.
I think Fran doesn't like the fact that Anne has a close relationship with her mom and was trying to do like a one up on her for some reason
Really hate the idea that OP just HAD to get back out on the scene after Annie had grown up. If she was fine as she was, people shouldnt have been setting her up or pushing the idea she had only been holding back because of her daughter and now she was free. Even well intentioned, it feels icky to me for people to be like "You need to find love again" after loss. She had love, she was fine. If she wanted a new partner she can decide that, other people don't need to insist she won't be fine on her own.
That belongs to you and you want your daughter to have it so she will. You have no obligation to give her the jewelry
She sounds like she wants to be her mother‘s girl and she is jealous of what op has with her daughter 😢
All through that story i was worried stepdaughter would go to the bathroom and steal the jewelry.
Nice to see op and her husband work things out. In this situation there is really nobody's fault per say expect for the step-daughter.
Hank is putting her child first which a good father would do, to him the jewelry meant nothing and used his anger make decisions. If this was reverse op would probably do that same.
However, to the op the jewelry is important to her thus obviously it will go to her own daughter first.
The step-daughter is entitled. She has no relations with the op and she demands her to borrow her jewelry. It's like asking a person that you are acquainted the same thing. The op even go for a compromised by spending her own money. Even after the explanation and compromised. She accused her of hating her with no proof, again your the one who didn't try to form a bond. The op may have borrowed if she did have a bond with the op.
However, I don't want to be cynical, but I think she may even have an ulterior motive. Since, the jewelry was made over 20 years ago. The price of the jewelry must be quite high. The fact the step daughter is eyeing on the fact that it's rustic and old. Could indicate something.
My thoughts exactly, I was like "Oh god please OP DON'T LEND HER THE JEWELRY !! She's gonna sell it then claim somebody stole it, DON'T !!"
I mean...why would you even think to ask your wife foe the jewelry she wore for her first husband. Thats some weird energy there.
He is a good father for his daughter, but a very bad husband and stepfather. He wanted to extort things that have nothing to do with him from OP and her daughter. He tried to manipulate his wife and gaslighted her.
NTAH! You are headed for real trouble. This is not a petty issue. It is a huge red flag.
Okay wow I was wrong I thought op was the a hole but I can understand her point of few and I didn’t realize why it was that sentimental. Now knowing this it makes complete sense on why she didn’t want to let her step daughter barrow her jewelry. She even wanted to be the bigger woman and she didn’t have to do that.
@@jacobyflower3344 It is the jewelry from her first marriage which is why she chose jewelry the first husband would love... you know... because he was marrying her?!?!? My guy, I don't know how, after the situation got reiterated that many times, you can't understand it.
@@jacobyflower3344This is the most braindead comment Ive ever seen
@@CyberianFaux no it wasn't not once was it stated it was jewlery from her first wedding just things her 1st husband would of liked
@@jacobyflower3344 I already replied to your other comment but I feel like you need some more information because you’ve said this twice. It’s from her first marriage and hank is her second one, Annie is her daughter from her first wedding, and Fran is her stepdaughter. Maybe listen to the replies you get.
@@jacobyflower3344
OP had been *"waiting a long time"* to see her daughter in that jewelry.
OP married the current husband *3 years ago.*
The stepdaughter, *26 years old,* told OP she "had seen a couple of OP's *old wedding photos* around the house and she had loved the jewelry OP was wearing in it".
"We get along like a house on fire"? Is that a saying?
Not one I’d ever heard of
It’s a uk saying I think
Yes it is a saying, a very common one too at least where I am.
England, houses are built close and the fire spreads quick.
I’ve heard that saying a lot.
Fran wasn't so quiet and meek after all. Seems like she takes after her own mother.
Fran and her dad were AHs for thinking something as small as wedding jewelry that came from someone she wasn’t even close to could ruin a wedding. Maybe if it was Fran’s family heirloom that could dampen spirits and cause chaos but a step mom who she didn’t like and came into her life as an adult does not have jewelry with that same sentiment. That also is an insult to the soon to be husband if being married to him, all he brings, and the celebration of their relationship can be ruined by some random jewelry
This is like the son who STOLE HIS DEAD MOMS wedding ring she left to his sister cuz his gf wantted it and refused a custom look a like
or
Where the step son who always hated the step mom (he never said why) but had the gaul to demand her ring that's passed down in her family to new brides (it was going to her Bio daughter's fiancée) then got upset when she refused.
Like, where is this entitlement to SOMEONE ELSE'S property, and they're not even of blood no less, and you've been disrespectful to them for YRS prior??
Bluds just a yapping gold medalist Olympic athlete
my late mom did this type of thing there was always a bad guy whenever something went wrong.
What I hear is that Fran has unresolved trauma from her own mother and desperately wants OP to fill in the gap caused by her own mother.
i have a stepmom but i would never think of asking her for something like that/feeling entitled to it unless SHE offered
Asking is fine you just have to be willing to accept the no if that's how it turns out.
Looks like its time for divorce - he shouted at you gave you absurdal ultimatum and tried to force you to do something you don't want to do... Get rid of him, he can't even APOLOGISE from his own accord even if he knows he the one in the wrong... Wtf
How can people let themselves be manipulated in the way Hank did? I really don't get it.
I actually have a theory on it. My guess is, that it’s not easy for anyone to be a single parent, especially for 2 kids. His ex-wife completely ditched them, so for a while, I bet it felt like him verses the world in order to protect his kids.
So when his daughter comes to him crying, even though she’s an adult, those type of instincts of being a protective father kicks in. I’m just glad he figured out his bias as a father and apologized for it. That takes a lot especially from his backstory of being betrayed and abandoned by his ex-wife, that’s a lot of trust issues if he didn’t come forward with an apology.
Ummm step onto the real world and you'll see??
@@Need_Nirvana alright, kid.
Nta 😊 you already site a clearly personal boundaries on Hank but he's not respecting and accepted that 😢 how sad ...
Jeez man when did you reach 200k? Congratulations!
This is why I told my wife I don't think I could ever remarry somebody in my whole entire life of something more to tragically happen to her which I open for everyday never does because I could never live a life without her Even though I would only be living for kids that's about it and on top of that I don't think I can never see myself with anybody else but her and I understand a lot of people see that and they still get remarried but I feel like they only do that because they're so scared of neither being alone or they feel that they have to listen to their family and friends push them into being with somebody and I think that's very selfish of others to force him into that situation and look I get it of you don't want to be alone that's perfectly fine but I'm one of those people I can never see myself putting myself through the situation that the poster did because that's the thing about people like her husband in this story when they want something that's when they let their attention zone that they never cared about you and they're going to do everything in their power to get what they want out of you and how they're always going to make it about what they want not what should be respected by your wants maybe that's just me but this is kind of on OP
Hank prioritizes Fran without understanding wife prioritizing her daughter.
Why would she think she is entitled to the jewelry?
Why would someone cencor the word accused lol?
Right?!
Perhaps it's understandably a trigger word
@@fanfictiondreamer7836 Fair point.
@@fanfictiondreamer7836 I find the word Underst***Ably a trigger word i demand you censor it!! LOL, they just dont want to get demonetized.
I have a different perspective. If Annie wouldn't mind, what is the problem? It was just alone, not a gift, right? Annie will inherit the physical jewelry. But I can see I am alone in the comments! At the end of the day, now is a complete sentence. You don't always get to know why we don't get what we want.
If OP watched Breaking Bad, they'd have known Hank prizes minerals above all else
Not making excuses for step daughter but I think she wanted something borrowed and something old. I think to add insult to injury the truth is there is some jealousy, hurt and pain surfacing here because her mother is not in her life anymore but her mother is not dead she abandoned her and the wedding is bringing that pain back. So she was trying to go through OP to fill that emptiness but was doing it very poorly.
She doesn’t know how to express that pain in a healthy way so she’s lashing out and sabotaging. When she brought up jealousy I thought that was strange because OP has had 2 happy marriages so that made no sense. The only explanation is that she’s projecting.
She’s projecting because OP’s daughter had two loving parents and frankly I know from experience that it’s better to have had two loving parents even if one is now dead then have one loving parent and one unloving parent. Because at least if they died they died with good memories in your heart but instead they are alive and actively choosing to not love you and leave you with a bunch of bad memories and false hope of reconnecting.
OMG Fran is just acting like a entitled brat
There’s nothing wrong with saying no, no is a perfectly acceptable answer. The answer is no. Take the no.
What is it with this freaking stepkids who think they're entitled to everything? This is not about the jewellery, it's about control and manipulation.
You can say the word accused.
Anyone else getting an AD every 90 seconds on these videos now? Unskippable and usually two of em...
NTA. People shouldn't get married if little things like jewelry is going to be the thing that breaks a wedding. I can't stand that "how dare you favor your bio daughter over MY child(ren)". Why do people like this get with single parents? I was really worried that op was going to be naive and assume the jewlery wouldn't be stolen. Op would have never seen that wedding jewlery again if she'd been dumb enough to fall for Fran's two faceness. Hank is no better with his "put MY daughter's feelings ahead of yours". What a bastard lol.
I was really disappointed how soft op's spine was. I would have never given Fran an option to get custom jewelry after her disrespect. Fran clearly wanted to steal something from Annie. She's too immature for a marriage lol.
Girl you are being used and i suspect that it has been happening right from the start by his family, you obviously think more of him than he does of you, as for his entitled daughter, she's never been close to you and barely even respects you so under no circumstances should you give into her demands, at this point i would be considering divorce cause this lot will only bleed your dry and spit your out. the word No can be a complete sentence and you are an adult that is not required to justify your decision to an entitled brat
Why tf is accused censored?????
From her behaviour, fran would ither not give the jewellery back or rub it in ops daughters face that she used it first. She's acting like a spoilt brat.
I would of got the same thing and then shaped it out gave it to her instead keep the original copy
Ops jewellery op gets to decide what she does with them. Honestly people are so entitled.
Is "accused" a banned word or something?
If you name your kid hank, you're deeming him to become a stepdad, a cop or both, it's just a law of the universe.
My dad has jewellery he promised me when I was like 13 at his wedding if he gave it to anyone's else I'd be heartbroken the image of my dad in my younger years always has been short,skinny with a stubble head and these three rings and necklace chain
What the hell.... not the AH...
why is "accused" censored in the beginning
Annie, are you ok?
When i saw the thumbnail and name of her husband, i thought it was breaking bad xD
Congrats for 200k subs
Of course, you put your daughter first. It's a strange hill he has chosen to die on. You were within your rights to refuse to loan your jewelry. He is trying to get his way. It seems Hank has more problems with your first family than he's let on. Fran sounds like a jerk. Don't loan her your jewelry or have another set made. Fran has a problem with you. Tell her to pound sand.
why was accused censored?
Why are we censoring words that don't need to be censored???
How sic Fran really get ovr yourself it's for her daughter. And hank gross
The daughter was selfish and just wanted to manipulate you and her dad . She wants to have something first and throw it up to your daughter at a later date bragging about she had to be not as important as she is to you. So just let her wallow in her own selfisness .
Something old, something new, something "borrowed" and something blue. Its a good luck thing for brides. So i think she had her heart set on the thing borrowed being from the op. Maybe even combing that with her something old, since she said she wanted the old look for the jewelry. Though its still definitely entitled and bad of her to be making a big deal about it when told no. She could have just accepted the new jewelry as her "something new" and borrowed something else. I think she was trying to include the op in her wedding by asking for the borrowed/old jewelry. She likely asked her mother and possibly her soon to be mother in law for something new and something blue. So she included op by asking for the jewelry.
nope when someone says no she should of moved on, she is an adult and acting like a child.
hope her soon to be husband and in-laws leave her
maybe for clarification put that ur cousin made it or whatever happened cs some ppl dont wanna go see ur newest videos/lh
Hold on, why are we censoring accused now?
I have the quality on on max on my phone and the game play is crsip
This feels like one huge non-issue tbh. Maybe im just not the sentimental type. It's not like she asked OP to gift her the jewelry.. she just wanted to borrow them for a day. So yeah sure it would be nice to have the own daughter year it first, but ffs, how on earth is that more important than the wedding that's right in front of you? But then again, the other side is a non-issue aswell. Like.. she doesnt want to give you the jewelry. For a dumb reason, sure, but it's not like you a) cant get others b) this would ruin your wedding and c) you ever talked to this person before..
Total non-issue. On both sides. I wish all problems in life were this trivially unimportant.
That said, this Fran girl has some serious issues. Either mental, or uterior motives for wanting the jewelry..
good
It's yours and you're the only person that can decide what to do with it.
So we cant say Accused now? Its an offensive word and will get your CZcams monies taken away?
OP is the AH
"She has abandonment issues"
"She doesn't what to get close to me"
"She already was an adult so she missed out on what my own daughter has with my husband"
"I hid my motivations from my husband until after I scared him with a devorce"
"She said I treat her differently, I don't"
"I'm treating her differently because I love my daughter more than her"
"She poisond my husband against me by telling him her feelings"
"I'm blackmailing her with abandonment until she can apologize for having feelings, and I even got her brother to abandon her."
Honestly, you can set boundaries and she can be upset about those boundaries. That's all fine. But when she is hurt emotionally and you decide to hurt her more using her worst fears, you have gone way too far.
Maybe this was a test for you, maybe not.
It's not even old jewelry it was made for ops wedding a few years prior. I could understand if it was heirloom jewelry from 100 years ago but that's not old jewelry.
There were two weddings and that was her original wedding jewelry.
Decades prior.
YOU'RES and you're kid that needs to go to yours. You'res is the baby that her dad it's the only way he can be there. Just no.
man im so early there isnt any good comments
Hm
What was you husband’s name? Walter white?
I WAS LATEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Early lol
wiw
Like why would you marry anyone if you already had a soulmate..... Just date and get laid......
Because it’s possible to have more than one soulmate and humans are social creatures and don’t want to be alone. They want emotional support and love and Hank was loving and confident enough to accept that she had another husband. Also not everyone is capable to separating sex and feelings and therefore one night stands don’t work for everyone.
I don’t see what the big deal with jewelry is personally, I would’ve said some thing like yeah you can wear it as long as you don’t break it or get it dirty because I will sue. You also respect the jewelry and its memories. It’s not like she’s asking to keep it. Your daughter can still wear the jewelry on her wedding day. I don’t see why it’s so important that your daughter wears it first. It’s just a point in time get over it.
Not the AH
Bridezilla
First
Did you want a medal or acknowledgment?
She needs to just say it outright to both husband and step dauther.
"I never loved you like i loved my real husband and dauther you two are merely cheap replacements and i have the right to be as shitty and petty as i wish with you both"
Thats it thats all its okay to be a shitty step parent 95% of the time its 100% the case
Edit: also those who wish to defend the step mom, she poisoned the well probably years ago with her double standards and golden child
Final edit: of course you don't care you never ever cared about her only you and your golden child.
You did not listen to the same story the rest of us did.
Calm down Fran. I know you’re just jealous of Annie because her mommy loves her more than yours could ever dream but the jewellery won’t fix that for you dear.
Imbecile