How to Talk to Your Dad: Turning Conflict into Conversation | Madeline Poultridge | TEDxOlympia
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- čas přidán 24. 09. 2015
- Using skills from mediation in everyday arguments and interactions.
Madeline is entering her senior year at Avanti High School in Olympia, WA. She began her work in conflict resolution at age 15 with the Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County. She is thrilled to share ideas and stories with the community.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
I was having a panic attack due to everything that’s going on at home, your calming voice eased me into a more comfortable spot. Thank you:)
Same. My dads currently blaring the tv in the middle of the night, I can hear it through a fan and earplugs and have to start my job at 6 in a few hours
Most nights I have to stay with friends ;(I’m 17) or I get panic attacks about it. It sucks And yeah.. he does it every single night
Me and my Dad don’t talk because I’m not pretty and perfect
@@christypruitt1443 I also don't talk with my dad bcz it's hard af. I get really scared and anxious whenever I try to talk with him. ;(
Same, hope to solve this smh
Ok, what about when the other person speaking won't hear you, no matter what you say to them, and get angry if you prove them wrong?
Spawner24 i’m the same
My dad.
So my parents
That's when you need a mediator, someone they respect, maybe a close family friend or relative. Come from a place of wanting to be understand eachother better rather than proving that parent wrong.
If that isnt an option you can try to get them to family/mediation therapy and if they refuse, set healthy boundaries and have pity and compassion for that parent because they are terribly alone and do not know how to form deep relationships, practice self love and care until you have the means to escape the home environment.
Lmao my dad
Imagine having parents who would even let you bring things up
@Ari luvs Jesus ):
@Ari luvs Jesus it’s bad to think that way, if u make a difference it’ll become easier.
What is your greatest concern?
What do you most want to see happen?
What do you most want the other person to understand?
Them cutting me off for life
Just a good relationship
I naturally be quite for a long time not because i have something against them which i do not
My dad is 89, hard of hearing, getting physically fragile but has a sharp mind and tongue. He is incredibly opinionated, stubborn and negative. It is so hard to have a conversation with him. He is a catastrophizer. Everything is going to end horribly. I will try these three golden questions. Thank you.
As a dad just listen as much as possible. Correct when NECESSARY
the way theres a whole ted talk on talking to dads
Exactly
I tried to be a mediator and ended up searching " what can you do if you don't want to end up like your dad or mom" Pray for me thank you :)
I feel you
Just to remind anyone reading this, must of the times we're more afraid of what might happen instead of what will actually happen, you will never know the outcome until the thing you're afraid happens.
I am glad I saw this! My dad is currently out of the house and we have a conflict going on at the moment
How I wish this could work on Asian parents...but great techniques though :)
Asian parents are very hard to talk to
I feel you.. *cries*
100%
I’m seeking help rn 💀
And African parents too.
with some parents u can have as many golden question as u want, if they don‘t understand the question or just ignore it there is no sense.
That's what
Oh no, it's my dad, no one else
I absolutely love her voice and the way she enunciates
im about to be 16 and i wanna talk to my dad but i ghosted him after a while and i feel really bad.. i just dont know or have the courage to start a conversation again with him and thats like the hardest part for me. only idea i have right now is when i get a new number or phone i would text him but its hard for me right now. after a while he started contacting my mom asking why im not texting him back and i said i didnt wanna talk to him anymore but now i regret saying that because me and him had a really close relationship .
Just do it. Its going to be awkward at first and youre gonna feel quite nervous but then when you start talking again, you'll see how the relationship improves . Greetings.
You can build it up again, its not gone completely.. he's your dad afterall.
💀
this was absolutely amazing. the best TEDTalk i've seen thus far!!!
This is very well done. I am impressed.
We should talk more about coming to solutions , easing problems in our realtions and ending the meaningless fights because they happen and people are not perfect and problems will never end but so our effort to solve them with those we love.
I'm so proud of you madeline!!!!
Great talk! World would definitely be a better place, if everyone applied these golden questions, when conflicts occur :)
Thank you very much!!! Just the three minutes of the vid, it already struck right to me!
Helps a lot. Thank you, really!
Super helpful. My dad was being very difficult today
Amazing speech😍💯
Wow u opened my eyes I needed it much.. So much.. I'll put this into real life.... Thanks to u to tonsssss
Thank You 😀😀😀
She is wise beyond her years.
Amazing
wonderful presentation!!
1. what do I most want to see happen? , 2.what is my greatest concern?, 3. what do I most want the other person to understand?
Discussion. That’s funny. Father knows best. A father knows enough. It was also a sitcom back in the 50s.
oh I wish fairness was a valid point and wish that I could have, that would solve a lot of things
I’m surprised why this video only has 53 thousand views
i went to say hi to my dad after this and he told me to shut up.
Found soo many are with me...✌
Another point that proves there should be PREREQUISITE behavioural training for all potential and soon to be parents. This skill should exist before some childish nutjob conceives life, then orders and admonishes it, then spouts a variety of excuses for not educating themselves on communication, respect, and neurotic tendencies. fixing yourself is not something you improvise as you go along, while moulding a young, impressionable mind.
Great
I am unable to survive when I am constantly fighting w someone who is stuck at teenage years in anger and lacks maturity to look within . Please make my mother see herself
doesn't work on Filipino parents •_•
When I have daddy issues
thanks,this didn't help at all.But it did help in other ways, the idea of the golden question is really good
Im grounded and I wanna go out so...here I am hehe 😅
Doesn't work with Mexican parents. :'v
honestly
Y es un poco racista tambien yo conocí a esta persona antes de lo de Lakefair y ha cambiado desde entonces. Olympia es una cuidad muy racista. Mi familia de Puerto Rico yo diría que es igual nada de lo que habló aqui funciona con familia Latina disfuncional. Eso es parte de lo que ella no entendía sobre mí. La desesperación que siempre tiene la gente con familia disfuncional o sin familia. Pero la razon por la cual yo pienso que escogio este tema es porque me recuerdo que quería mucho a su padre que sonaba muy buena gente. Yo creo que lo conocí. No es mi lugar Olympia ni Washington tampoco. Una cuidad demasiado racista. Pero de veras que no la odio a esta persona aunque me hizo sentir muy mal que no quisieramos siendo amigos por las oportunidades mundanas que le dieron la cuidad racista de Olympia.
Ae wat
@@randomizedcontent9461 The person is talking in Spanish.
@@juliaayers9998 I don’t think I intentionally sent that, probably a buttdial lol
I just broke my dad’s headphone cord I’m gonna go pass away now bye
👏👏👏👏👏
Jesus loves you 💓
Me too spawner24
thanks, I'll do this once he comes back with the milk
2:23
When you're searching for videos about dealing with a bad father and all you can find are cute and useless ted talks. Thanks for nothing.
I Need A Ps5! Thats why im Here!😂😂
I am in HEAL 1100, like if you are too
Yeah my parents are not using these
It's January 9, 2021, & I think I'm just gonna go watch John Mulaney at this point, cuz my dad's like, "Well I think that horse should *stay* in the hospital!" & you're like, "Dads will respond to fairness concerns," & I'm like, "WE'RE WELL PAST THAT!" Meanwhile, the horse is like, "I want you all to go murder my vice-horse." & I'm just like okay- okay. okay- okay. okay- okay.
....nice ideas for petty arguments though. =/
oh i get it, everyone has a "nag" and this is the only way to not fight with them
No conflict or conversation in these households. Please …
but say, what if theres a language barrier? asking for a friend pls
A discussion with the father doesn’t work. Because the father doesn’t need you. Should we test that.
You talked to Billie Eilish and found out the secret. I’m a witch!
The only thing you get from the fathers, passed down, are their learning disabilities.
Learning disabilities. That’s funny.
All you people are lost, life will slap you in the face, and you will not be ready!