The art of being yourself | Caroline McHugh | TEDxMiltonKeynesWomen
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- čas přidán 14. 02. 2013
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My mom always said, “if you only knew how little time people everyday spend thinking about you, you would stop worrying about it”.
I thought she is going to disapparate after finishing the speech .
I've heard something similar... Something like "You would think very little of what others think of you if you thought of how very little they thought of you"
English is my second language, so I’m glad you have wrote this down because I couldn’t understand exactly the words, so thank you for doing it.
My mother said something very similar. She said " What makes you think you're so important everyone is thinking about or looking at you? Until those people pay your bills their opinion doesn't matter"
hahahah
One of the best days of my life was when I realized people aren't really paying attention to me all the time
mariana barrios love it
Good comment. If you live for others opinions you are most likely to remain unhappy.
Think about your own headspace. Easily 80% of your thoughts are about you and your own current challenges - maybe only 5% is really spent thinking about others.
How I wish to get there
@@matimbantimane3170 I agree!
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself. Humility is thinking about yourself less" So many people need to hear this beautiful line 💙✨
I love that quote from mother Teresa!❤️❤️
@@toomylight2311 Read the Bible ... it’s got all The Best Quotes. Not only Best, but they are Life Giving.
THATS SO SERIOUSLY GOOD
@@toomylight2311 [⁹⁹8th in ⁹Ii⁰00⁹and
🤯
41, got fired 8 months ago, still have no job, rediscovered myself, feel happy as never have been. Bless you all!
"Most of us don't take up nearly the space the universe has intended for us."==> THAT. RIGHT. THERE.
Univers 😉?
She said it so low key too and it's huge.
My most exhilarating moments have been, when I've stepped out my self imposed box.
Weird. I scrolled upon this comment right as she was saying it.😳
Did anyone else think about how that outfit is EVERYTHING?!!?
yes, it is a dope outfit!
I love her outfit where can I get one in red?
A SERVE. A LOOK.
。・:*: ace ・:*:・゚ couldn’t have said it any better
Shalom Sixta yes but independent of that fact it is still a LEWK
“I’m never the center of attention. You’re the center of Mine.” Love this.
I listen to Ted Talks everyday, and I can honestly say this is one of the best. I think I'll listen to this on again. Thank you for this. My Grandmother always said to me, me. People don't think about others as much as you think. They are way to busy thinking about themselves to be thinking about you. What others think about you DOES NOT MATTER. It's what you think about yourself that matters.
So true!!
What I say to people who are anxious about what others think.. its so true.. I learnt this from my mother. X
You just typed the true meaning of life I do beleave .
Regina 2023
Thank you and your grandmother. My dear grandparents told the same. They love me - it was a bliss.
This is hard when you don’t believe in yourself and struggle with self esteem. I hope to let go and just be me.
I can't believe the audience aren't laughing more, she has a wicked sense of humour
+Nicola Price I don't think they are getting her humour . You ever been to Glasgow? It has improved since I first saw it in 68 but Glaswegians are
culturally as hard as nails .
Agreed!
+Sohini Dutta I agree- so funny!
I think it has to do with the microphone recording mostly her voice and it only picks up the loudest of the laughter.
Right!!!! I very much enjoyed this!!!! Shes awesome! I will follow her work as I can!
lets pause the speech and just embrace her fuckin SWAGG!!!!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
true
She is definitely the most authetinc woman ever!!!
Pedro Rivera lol
would love to own it... :)
I'm so happy that when I was 29, a single mother and attending college for the first time, I decided, I was tired of being someone's daughter, sister, mother, wife and I decided to find out who I am, what I me personally like. I wasn't always easy, but as I found myself, I became happier. I am 56 now, I had decided back then, I don't care what other's think of me, and I taught myself to realize in the grand scheme of things, I am more important to myself than I am to anyone one else. I learned to love myself, worry less about what someone might be thinking about me and I am happy. I taught myself to say, who cares what they think, they don't pay my rent or bills.
“In the grand scheme of things, I’m more important to myself than I am to anyone else”. That’s a lovely sentence, thanks! Wish you well ❤️💖
I would love to know more about how you navigated that journey. I have decided to do something similar but I’ve stalled out. I don’t know if what I like is because I like it or because someone else likes it and I want to be like them….if that makes sense.
👍✨️
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Bv
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Beverly, I’ve found you ☺️ another woman who is tired of being someone’s daughter, girlfriend, and all the other social roles.
I was born a naturally friendly child. My mother told me stories where I would talk to any person at the beach as a little girl. This part of me they tried to change to protect me from strangers. Only I still talk to anyone. I still have the gift of gab. That’s who I am. I’m a sociable soul and I attract others to me that enjoy my personality. I was born to communicate with others it’s my gift. I’m also a natural born singer. Singing gives me great joy but I hide that part of me because I want perfection. I was meant to be a singer I’ve always thought but maybe I was just supposed to be a communicator and sing for my own personal pleasure.
No dear, if singing is what makes your heart sing, sing out loud and clear so others can enjoy your authentic expression... that's what the whole talk was about. I hope you see this and go for the singing, no matter your age or circumstances. In love and light!❤
"People who are afraid to be themselves, will work for those who aren't afraid"
that one hit me
I just read this comment at the exact same moment she said it.
This also resonated with me. I’ve spent the last 4 or 5 months deeply troubled by how much I know I struggle working for other people when I know I would be better on my own doing MY thing. This talk has helped me start to unlock how to make that possible. I can tackle the fear 😊
@@eilzmo I feel absolutely the same way, I know that struggle well! I am so happy to have found this talk too because it is like a light-bulb turning on, it all makes sense as to why. My work history has been rather unreliable and sporadic. only last at a workplace for 6months, max 1year in the same job. and i know that i am capable to run my own thing, just need the confidence in myself. Good luck to everyone on this never ending journey.
that line stunned me.
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” - Amazing
Brilliant quote by C.S. Lewis
I wrote that down. 👍🏼
@@HayabusaOrlando I'm writing it down too! I've been on a journey of self-discovery the past year (age 31) after my grandma (my rock) passed away and though it's difficult sometimes missing her I've learned SO much about myself. She had always told me things I never understood, but the past year I've been learning and understanding myself more than I ever had before. :-)
CS Lewis summed up Christ's life well.
So much truth in this Ted talk
This talk hit so much harder when I realized she was speaking to a group of young girls under 12!!! It fills my heart to think of the impact this had on the girls in the room that day. 🥰 not to mention everyone else who has come across it since! Very powerful speech. 😊💖🙏🏼
Edit: it was pointed out that she wasn't actually speaking to a group of young girls after 12, and upon listening again it was clear that she wasn't. 😊 In the beginning of the speech I assumed it was a group of adults so her comments that made that clear didn't register deeply as they were expected. Then the way she worded that part near the end about them becoming 12 and 13 sounded like she was speaking to people who were not yet at that point. It seems she was talking about the past but the way it was worded was easy to misconstrue.
Regardless, I'm sure some 12 year olds have watched this since then, and it would be a great talk to show to them! And whatever age, this is a very valuable perspective to listen to. 🥰
Wow, that context makes me want to relisten. Best TEDx talk.
She's pretty obviously talking to a group of older women lol
@apunkphilosophy interesting! Throughout the talk I assumed it was a group of adults so none of the talk being specifically addressed to adults stood out at all because it fit with what I thought. But at the very end she seemed to address the audience and say that you might at 12 end up to be this or at 13 be that or at 14 be this. It sounded as if she was addressing people who hadn't yet become 12 as it seemed to imply that what she was talking about was a possibility for them. On listening again yes a lot of the rest of the speech appears to be directed at adults.
I was happy thinking it was girls under 12, but thank you for commenting! It gave me a reason to watch it again, and I really needed that today 😊
No 12 year old has a son of four or three years old, she asked this from the audience
@@eliserolinson5108 see my reply above 😊
I love her sense of humor. Seems like the crowd is asleep or too damn serious about this.
I just read a comment somewhere here that she's talking to girls that are under 12 years of age💕
That’s true that sometimes, when a joke goes “unnoticed” or it’s not laughed at, it can look and feel a little uncomfortable. But people have different senses of humor, so how I try to see it is a public speaker setting a more lighthearted, familiar tone with her audience. Sometimes speakers are more looking to teach, their jokes don’t have to be perfect for everyone but should at least try to include all into the same atmosphere, right? :)
They’re children! Young girls listening, rapt. Dig deeper.
Her presentation, language, and mannerism do not at all agree with that statement. Kids? Nah. @neiudesu2382
She's definitely one of the teachers from the Defence Against the Dark Arts courses
Or Transfiguration 🧙🏻♀️
Or, she teaches The Dark Arts
By u in
ikr, i love her sense of fashion.
jk rowling sucks.
"I'm not the center of attention, you're the center of my attention." That's going to change the way I look at everything.
This is as huge as the change from earth-centric to helio-centric. It shifted my world ✨🧚♀️
This mindset has helped me tremendously as a customer service rep. I developed more patience and compassion for those that I serve.
I could not connect with this, how you people are using this in your daily life. Can anyone explain a little bit please
@Bella Dama I took it more as directing your focus away from how you are being perceived, and turning it toward whatever you're doing.
@priya tiwari sorry, I didn't see this notification. As a socially anxious person, it was helpful to change my focus away from how people are perceiving me and onto whatever it is I'm doing.
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. you need to accept yourself.” Thich Nhat Hanh
This is the most beautiful talk I've ever watched. Such rich lessons, such a soothing tone. And she looks stunning. One can see her life is her message alright. I'm really grateful for all the plataform/channel/everyone that made possible for a girl in Brazil with a cellphone on her hand to receive this amount of wisdom from a stranger. Thank you.
Wow, I think that you are amazing.... "Girl in Brazil with a phone in her hand" ❤❤❤ Muito obrigado!
Hello that girl. I'm another girl from Scotland like Caroline. 🏴
I know this was released years ago and no one's going to see this, but i'm 13 and I feel so fortunate to have found this. I'm struggling to understand myself and my feelings and who I am, and this is really really helpful. It reminds me of something my uncle said, something along the lines of "the things you need most come from yourself and only yourself". I rejected it at the time, but now I know it's true. I want to be myself and not an impersonation of what I think people will like, and I know it won't be easy, but it's one of the things I think the universe wants everyone to do no matter where they are. If anyone's reading this, I hope they can recognize themselves for who they truly are and be as individualistic as they can. goodbye
edit: I can't believe how many responses I got. I thought no one would read this and it would just be something i'd look back on, but thank you all very much for your kind words. I'm more motivated now than ever! thank you so much.
amazing perspective, xo keep being you!
‘I want to be myself and not an impersonation of what I think people will like.’ So hard to do for any of us but especially for a teenager. Best of luck to you, young smart kid.
Lottie Miller :)
Lottie Miller You seem to be a very smart individual. I was in very similar shoes at the age of 13. Now looking back I realize, in fact much of everyone else was trying to figure out just who they were too!...You’re not alone in trying to figure these things out. Stay true to you. Only you know what that means or how that looks. Someone once told me and it still resonates with me, even at my age, 36. “Don’t let anyone else define who you are.” Who we are as individuals at age 13 might be the same at age 14, 16, 25, or 36. Or, maybe who we are will change many times between now & then...either way is perfect. There’s no rule book or recommendations in learning yourself and the beauty is....You are in charge of that so you have the free will to change it as much or as little as you wish. Best of luck to you, you’re a special soul. Remember, “Don’t let anyone else define who you are.” Sending positive energy and hugs your way!
Bravo Lottie! You're on the right path.
Why is no one is talking about how beautiful her voice is and how well she articulated everything? I feel so calm after listening to her. I could listen for hours it seems like. Of only she had an audio book or something.
@Sum Suman ?
yeah, ikr. She was amazing, I feel so calm and at ease. Beautiful message and beautiful speech
I really hoped one of the comments was saying she did have one...
I'm from Glasgow too and have this accent. I always hated it but now I'm coming to see it for the beauty it has. A lot of people struggle with their Scottish accents early on in life and get punished for having strong ones in school.
She is so AMAZING!!
I am still looking for myself, even after 54 years. I unexpectedly cried a few times during this exceptional talk. I have finally found the way to find me. I am saving this forever and will watch it many times. I can now focus and begin to sort myself out. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.
Seek Jesus Christ I’m a Christian god bless
Oh wow how spookily similar to my response! Really hit a point hey
Same and will be 54 soon ,. I'm forever saying to my pal i dont know what my purpose is.
Part of being yourself is choosing to do what makes you happy even if it doesn’t lead you to success by social standards
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” Btw your jacket is fire 🔥🔥🔥
uf
John Wilson right?! Loving the jacket!
John Wilson right!!?????
I've never seen a jacket like that. It over-the-top for someone saying the words you quoted. I wonder who she was thinking of she decided to wear that jacket.
Lol the jacket is... silly to me I spent the first few minutes trying to figure out if shes pregnant or has a deformity
her voice and her accent are so soothing
what does the mean shooting?
I agree! She could say anything at all, I just want to hear her accent!
+gina khairani soothing, not shooting. soothing = calming and peaceful
Scottish accent is totally my favourite accent.
Carol Berardinelli I like it too. Then again, accents you're not exposed to everyday are always cool.
My mom would always say whenever I was grouchy & moody growing up..."you are only as big as things that bother you". I have never forgotten that wisdom and since then, I was not bothered by insignificant stuff like gossips, fake news or drama. People can never tell if my heart was braking in pain or filled with love and peace. Nobody is privilege to see me cry. Not when I buried my parents. I loved my mother very, very much. She had 11 children, every night she helped us with our homeworks when I was in school. She graduated in music major in piano but the was an excellent mathematician, and fluent in English, Spanish, Ilonggo, Aklanon and Tagalog. Her IQ was 142 and she was considered genius. She knew a lot because she read most of her waking hour and she has a photographic memory. Everyone in our hometown people loved my mother. She was well known in our hometown as an intellectual individual that made a wrong choice.
Wrong choice because she married my father who was totally worthless, God forgive me. I'm just saying the truth. May he rest in peace but that doesn't change the fact that he was totally worthless, but okay, R.I.P. but my mother was a saint, sacrificed, suffered from my cruel father and other siblings that were drunkards. I remember seeing my mother on her knees praying almost everynight for the safety of my siblings who were always out and drunk. When I saw the pain caused by alcohol & drugs, it had a strong impact on me. That's why I never smoke, drink or do drugs. Because I witnessed what it did to my mother that never smoke, drink alcohol or drugs .. but what alcohol did to her 6 children who are alcoholics was ruined and this broke my mother's heart. It pained to see her children and grandchildren having severe difficulty in life even basic needs like food & shelter.
of my mom
Thank you for this statement. I am glad you've been able to stay away from alcohol and drugs.
l love what your mun said. thanks for sharing. may her soul rest in peace.
i learnt soo much i swear here is the list:
“Best way to keep being yourself is to proactively cut the world out and be self interested””interiority”
“ Your only job is to be good at being you”
“He that does not see the essence in my originality is not deserving of me”
“You are already different your job is to figure out how and then be more of that”
“Get your ego to work for you, not you working for”
“We are all sleeping working and waiting for something to wake us up” for me my career
“People are not interested in you they are interested in what you can give me”
“ a wise word can become a burden to those who don’t fully understand it”-
When things are important you only have one shot at it just like the movies with important mission. Your life is the same you have only one shot once you blow it it’s over there is no do over. Mission failed
Be
Thanks for the summary
Thank you for taking the time to write this. Thought provoking. Thank you.
What does last line mean (the one related to one shot)
If you are reading this, i wish you the best in life :)
"May those who bless others also be blessed"
@@RasMajnouni It's not 'may'... If you bless others... You're blessed... It's a given.
Thank you and for you as well! :-)
thank you, i wish you the best too
Thank you :) you too
“From the age seven you become less good at being yourself” so true
That's so sad
Public school dims your creativity and your light!
Couldn't have said it any better.
It's the terrible truth we all live.
That's false on its face. You can only be yourself. Even if pretending to be someone else. It's just you pretending. Lol. More self aware but no less you.
@@sheebakitty378 It depends on how you define self. If it's your ideas, thoughts, sense of humor, beliefs and passions then you certainly can be something other than yourself. And it's usually for the sake of another persons perception of yourself.
"you're job is to be as good at being YOU".... beautiful. inspiring. flourishing.
you have spoken well dear, how are you doing today ?
This is one of the Ted Talks that I rewatch over and over again. What an inspiring woman she is.
Great speech, but can we also talk about how amazing her outfit is? It’s iconic
It's sooooo dope
Huh? Are you serious? Lol
I was looking for this comment
She's trying to break us out of the matrix.
I was hoping someone would have commented on who the designer of her outfit is by... beautiful!
"people who are frightened to be themselves, will work for those who arent afraid."
that really struck a note with me...
Ian Williams same here
Yeah. Blew my mind.
M
Ian Williams
And it is completely entirely wrong.
In this capitalistic system it is those with more scruples who work for those with less or no scruples. This system rewards criminal and cold blooded people.
And her lecture is all together not very well thought through and focuses very much on success.
It sounds good on the surface and is presented with a soothing voice.
But it is a actually a lot of hot air, mainstream spiritual BS, unscientific and contradictory.
@@JaIch9999 But somehow you sat there amd watched the full 26min and 23 secs of the video AND proceeded to read comments and leave a comment as well. When you realize something is B.S. you don't give it a second thought, you immediately dismiss it move on to other things.
Her authenticity is out of this world. I am simply blown away by how in depth she knows her subject Absolutely phenomenal!
Ready when you are
Ready when you are
My Mother has always told me just be yourself. I know realize how important it is, how precious she is. Thank you Mom.
that true my dear, how are you doing today?
I’m hanging in there
I have to say... this woman has a wonderful message.
Also, her sense of style is impeccable.
absolutely
Very much agreed, Sour Eggz.
BarryA Thank you. I didn't realize my comment had so many likes... 😊 I love this video!
Sour Eggz can never go wrong with black
That makes the difference, we got a message, some people just got someone to judge... I love her speech
“Everybody has their own strength and their own queendom. Mine could never compare to hers, and hers could never compare to mine.”
Arsha Rahmadhani perfect quote 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼👍🏼🙏🏼💚🔥🌻
Yes but later she compares Ghandi's message of life with hers and others... I think she had a conceptual lapsus.
What was the name of the artist in the video, who said that please?
@@natalipohl Jill Scott
queendom? wtf
I keep coming back to watch this video in different phases of my life. And I learn something new each time. So much wisdom packed into one video.
Yes, I come back these years too❤
"Since that day, I have never been the center of attention. You're the center of mine. And that a very different feeling."
She dropped this 👑👑👑
I'm a teacher and in my teens I was the shyest person you could imagine and the very thought of speaking in public TERRIFIED me. Even speaking to people in general 🙂 Now I sometimes speak at international conferences, which is just mind-blowing to me. Because of my job, I had to make myself learn the "thinking of youself less" advice just so as not to freak out when I'm with different people lol
This talk really resonated with me and the speaker is amazing ✨
"I'm not the center of attention... you're the center of mine" daymnnn... mindblown.
I don't get this.
Smooth af
@@yunusk6217 same
@@svinland3446 Now I get it, and it's so powerful. It's about getting over the worry that people are constantly watching and judging us. It's taking the attention from yourself and putting it on the things your seeing/observing instead.
@@yunusk6217 I see :) Thank you.
So in conclusion, to be yourself is to acknowledge your weaknesses and strengths, and accept them, appreciate them, embrace them, and cultivate them. You enjoy someone's advantages rather than seeing it as a threat to your flaws. You don't compare because you know that life is not all about you, you're not the center of other's mind, you just simply live life doing your work and being happy with your relationship with others.
Edit: you're welcome;)
Well summarised!
Thank you for this beautiful summarization.
this is a plane governed by multiple dimensions.
I love this :)
Thnkew for the conclusion its seems u r good speaker ... And a motivator
Thank you for making this speech. It reminds me of my younger age when I dared to dream to be anything. When I was confident enough to raise my hand every time the teacher asked a question or gave us a chance to ask. It's different now. I am shy, I am afraid, and sometimes I feel that my question is so so and no need to be asked. So I will try to remember my childhood experience, I will take the spirit from it, and make it my power to face the world. Thankyou.
You can do it !
I discovered this gem a couple years ago and have been listening to it on and off since. Each time feels like a therapy session and a motivational speech and it gives me the strength to keep pushing on. Much love to the speaker for giving us this gift of a talk.
“People who are afraid to be themselves work for people who aren’t afraid to be themselves”‼️‼️‼️‼️ wow
FULL STOP
TRUTH.
Yep. When I heard that I came up with a half dozen people I worked for who were not afraid to be themselves.
María Elizabeth Cruz Flores Im setting a reminder to listen to this in a year’s time.
THIS IS SO TRUE! Its because people who are too afraid to be themselves are ashamed and would never go through that path to be their own boss
“I’m not the center of attention, you’re the center of mine”
I find it very disappointing to see this statement got only 4 likes (mine included). Thank you, Press Iyamu, for making this comment.
i didn't got what she meant with this statement , can you explain to me ?
amina Malin when she said this statement, it was a shift in perspective.
It’s a realization that there are no gazes truly resting on you. But rather, your gaze is resting upon everyone. Causing you to think things that are majority of the time not true.
Hence why her mother said don’t flatter yourself.
Caroline’s statement brought me peace, I hope I was able to explain it in a way that generates the same self assuring effect.
resonated with me as well
Press Iyamu like that
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.”
― CS Lewis
Hello dear , how are you doing today ?
"Since that day I have never been the center of attention. You're the center of mine, and that's a very different feeling." Thank you so much for this advice, definitely changed my point of view!!
I just want this woman to follow me around and give me slightly insulting but well intended advice! She seems good at it.
for real!
Like a bite of a snake, if poison in low dosage - won't kill you, even heal, because well intended.
🤣
hahahaha
She's married to Yoda
Such a liberating way of thought. "Mine could never compare to her's and her's could never compare to mine". Someone else's greatness is not an absence of yours.
Someone's greatness is not the absence of mine....hahahehe...wowowo!! 🤔
If only more women realised that, there'd be a lot less hate in the world. Men too.
“Someone else is greatness is not an absence of yours“. That was perfect and I definitely needed to hear it!
I've been watching this video for years! Every time I realize something new, first time I had no kids, now I have 2. And hearing her speaking now was like listening to her for the first time ❤️❤️❤️
Addicted to TEDx and finally found my favorite speaker! Love her presentation! What a great guide to find who I really am. Glad I wasn't a wrinkly before I found this. Thank you, Ms. McHugh.
I'm a "wrinkly," and I'm glad I found this. It's never too late for improvement.
@@terrymiddleton6077 ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 thank you for writing!!
Oh, my mom gave practically that same advice, Go, no one will look at you... they are too much interested in themselves.
This was excellent!
So true!
Lol too true 🌹
Yup, we had an assignment in psychology class in high school to dress in a completely different style for a day. I dressed as a punk and not a soul said a thing. That single day convinced me of this.
My mom destroyed the little self worth I have by calling me a useless person who shouldn't have been born.
@@roshnik5137 You are exceptional , I love you.❤❤❤
"When you're a kid - you don't know how to disguise your Different-ness"
BOOM - Truth Bomb.
Joel Corrigan It's just developmental psychology really mate
+Joel Corrigan Although her statement rang true for me and some of us can really identify with it, there are hundreds of young children who are AFRAID, some even terrified, to be themselves as young children because of their abusive and neglectful early childhood experiences.
In a perfect world, ALL children would feel SAFE to be themselves, but thousands of kids are abused and neglected HOURLY every day, just because some adult hates who they are
so much they have to discharge that self-hate onto someone too vulnerable to fight back. Thankfully that wasn't the case for you or me.
xxxxkkk
I love her. the way she talks, what she's saying, the way she holds herself... Magnificent.
This was a gorgeous talk through and through. So well out together and down to earth to the core. It was grounding.
My favourite moment was when she told the story of when she refused to sing, because she’s feeling shy for everyone will be looking at her.
Her mother said,
“Don’t flatter yourself darling. You think everybody’s interested in you, they’re not.
Your job is to make them happy.”
And when she said,
“Since that day I’ve never been in the center of attention. You’re the center of mine”.
I don't get it. "You're the center of mine?"
@@Rama_Rama_Rama Centre of HER attention, in the sense that she is not focusing on herself, they are not focusing on herself, but she is focusing on them making them the centre of her attention.
No more focus on herself and her own ego. Just making them feel happy/right. That fact changed her life.
@@zelsha ok hmm
I love that part too. When I learned this lesson I stopped being nervous to perform for an audience because my focus was on bringing them joy or knowledge. Not thinking of yourself works wonders.
@@auroraseyets8516 u
In this area I feel quite gifted with autism. My autism prevents me from being able to pretend to be someone else, or to even want to be someone else. It's just not a thing I can think and thought that's made my life hard in some ways (bullying mostly) I'm glad to have the gift of authenticity.
Wow that is revealing. The gift of authenticity is what we wish to attain without even knowing it. And then here you are! Thank you and many blessings to you 💗🌎
Good attitude.
This has probably already been said, but I think she was trying to point to the space that you don't take up in the world. Who knows how much space you can fill by being you
Yes!
My son is the same way.
i come back to this video every few months especially when i feel lost… it’s become a beacon of clarity for me.
Having watched this years ago, the words now have taken on such deeper meaning. Thank you
She reminds me of “the ancient one” from Dr. Strange
YES!!
same!
I think that's intentional.
Though BOUT THAT TOO AND NOT ONLY IN LOOKS BUT WISDOM AS WELL.
I was looking for this comment 😂😂😂
"We all have our own thing, that's the magic. That everybody comes with their own sense of strength and their own queendom. Mine could never compare to hers and hers could never compare to mine."
I love this so much.
H r
Love JILL SCOTT LOVED HER IN TYLER PERRYS WHY DID I GET MARRIED???IM A 90 % ER
I just WANT TO GIVE EVERYONE THIS TALK !! What a gift to us all. Thanks be that you Caroline, recognized who you truly are! I saved this from when first read heard it in 2017. Here it is 2024 abd I am relistening and sending it out to others, yet again ( I am a retired MCC level ICF Coach) ! ❤
By far the best Tedtalk I've watched. Thank you. One of the best messages we all need to live by.
Her voice is the closest thing to an auditory blanket, cup of tea and a warm fireplace on a cold snowy day.
kyle northrup I disagree
+kyle northrup Her voice was a little difficult to understand...her accent hahaha.
I agree
I love the accent.
When she said about the definition of humility, not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. That's probably something that'll stick in my mind for a while. Thank you ;)
yeah, I believe it's something 90%of people really need to do and follow up with action, where as people like myself need to be more aware of self, not influenced self, but a healthy lifestyle, behavior, or thought process change,of putting others before myself/themselves @ a high cost to their well being and long term well being of others, thank you for time and effort it has provoked thoughts and feelings that I'm praying in my way!!, I'll follow up with actions, well thought out, for maximum results....😉
the quote is by C.S.Lewis, from "Mere Christianity" book
The quote is very good. Still psychology tells that rhymes and word puns are more effective. Loved the talk, nothing to argue, I just thought it could interest someone.
It's very Biblical it's not as original as it may sound.
Biblical? How? She didn't claim to be original. We need to be reminded often.
Still one of my favorite ted-talk videos! This is so inspiring and healing
This is the best ted talk i've ever watched. I'm sat in my living room crying because this video has resonated with me. Thank you Caroline x
" You already different.
Your job is to figure out how,
and then to be more of that."
It came to me as if on cue.
This is so true. BE HAPPY BEING YOURSELF.
Maybe you need to be more like Shachar and less like Malca? Joke .Chasidim say "We KNOW what we need, but do we know what we are needed FOR"? ואהבת לרעך כמוך.Emphasis ON and mainly the other.
So many good quotes here.
Me, too! Wow!
that's what Ariel Sharon said to the Gaza lot before bombing them
I feel so blessed and privilege to find the time to listen to this.
Even as the whole world is going into shock about the CODIV-19.
I struggle to find balance and stability personally.
thank you so much Caroline McHugh.
I feel the same this was just what I needed during this pandemic going on right now. She really put things into perspective
@Allie 😂
SAME
divarh xoxo Thank you and thanks to Caroline! As a professional singer - I need to answer this question. Covid week 4
Ita Jesus beat to Gods drum! God made each of us unique from the other, with our unique talents and gifts.God does not make mistakes.
I needed this this when I was 9, 10, 11, into my teens and again entering adulthood, thank God it is never too late. We enter in and out of so many eras of ourselves through life "this" we can utilize "this", again and again..
Amazing. I have an audition soon, and seeing others as my center of attention, and "go out there and sing and make them happy" as my goal helps so much. May we all have the strength to do US. I will do my best to do Shoham.
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, humility is thinking of yourself less."
" People that say to you they have 15 years experience when they mean one year, 15 times "
A thing to say on an interview : - ' I see you don't have 10 years of experience as we've asked'.. '-well, some may have 1 year, but 10 times' :D
@@olgapaz1329 Genius!
This is certainly the best TED talks I've listened to so far. There are so many truths about oneself that needs to be focused on and comes with a good number of insights.
I listened to this on my drive to and from the gym. It's beautiful. I am about to teach my students about interpersonal and intrapersonal communication, and I am going to start with this lesson! So amazing!
I felt like I was just lectured by a Jedi master. That was awesome.
ToaLegend :D :D :D lol
+ToaLegend She is Asajj Ventress turned Jedi hahaha.
Kl
Do. Or do not. There is no try. YODA
This talk exposed so much of my internal insecurities
if you that's you on your profile pic and you have insecurities...I think you'd die within a day being me lol
Highway61ru: Being secure and comfortable inside your own skin is not about having a good look, it is about having a great presence and founding the beauty in imperfection. Dont be hard on yourself.
+Michael Kylow lovely response.
u looks awsm
I feel you. try to be yourself and be confident at who you are and what you are going to be after that. cheer! hope you have a wonderful year ahead.
This is soooo fantastic- I wish I'd heard it years ago! I didn't figure this out for myself till about 4 years ago, but since I did, I'm sooooo much happier!❤
Your ideas and articulation of thoughts are so phenomenal and thought-provoking! I absolutely loved every bit of the video :)
“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am ”
― Thomas Cooley
I am thinking of how i think i am in terms of how others think i am so i can tell people what i think i am to challenge what they are thinking i am
Very interesting perspective. Have you read the book Ishmael (Great Book!)
AIRe
who r u talking to
Just gave me an existential crisis
Thanks
I had to read it 3 times.😊
It is Amazingly true.
Almost started crying when she said that one of the times when you're most like yourself is when you were a kid. I was so lively and fearless when I was younger. I loved everyone and believed I could do anything. Fast-forward to age 26 and I've become fearful of taking chances, quiet, reserved, and slightly bitter towards the world. I've always longed to be the original me and I thought I could find it by just pressing forward. But maybe I just need to look back to the times when I was myself.
What I found amazing is she follows up with saying that those original moments are when we're younger and when we're older, but never in the middle. I find this sad, since we have both some wisdom and some strength and energy in our mid-years. And yet we never utilize that time to be authentic. When we're children we're bound by rules, social systems, guardians, and other problems--but we have the ideas and energy to make things happen. When we're elderly we have the wisdom and knowledge to make those things happen but not the energy or health. It makes me realize that I need to utilize ALL parts of my life and live the life I was created to live.
As you pointed from her talk about being original when one is young and old, to further take from those two stages, a person needs to spend more time with kids and seniors. That way a person will constantly be reminded of being one's self.
A added strength that kids have is braveness and old people have wisdom. So you can take from both sides of life.
Dear, take it from me, you are fine.
You sound like a lovely human.
+Miss Lady Whoa, you typed he same thing i would have typed...and i'm 26 as well, that is so cool.
beautifully stated and I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU
I have watched this off and on for at lest five years. She is brilliant.
Her voice is so soothing. I feel so relaxed
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it’s best, day and night, to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight ,and never stop fighting.” - E.E. Cummings
This is on a car commercial now.
e.e. cummings - thats how he wrote his name bcuz he liked his unique lowercase look
I liked the speech. But why do we always have to strive to be something out of the ordinary and be the youngest person who did *this* or the first person or the whatever-st person... The goal should be to be happy, to be comfortable with yourself, to be confident, even if you never do anything out of the ordinary.
+risankati I completely agree with you. Actually I believe that happiness is much more enviable that success.
+risankati
I don't think happiness can actually be achieved. It's temporary like other emotions.
I think that contentedness is what most people want. The ability to say, "if I died right now, I still accomplished what really mattered to me".
+risankati I liked the speech too. I also think you make a very good and important point about 'ordinary'. Thanks for your comments.
+manictiger I agree, being happy all the time is unrealistic. What I meant was happiness in the more general sense and I guess it comes close to what you said - being content
+risankati actually, if you can distinguish being happy from having everything go well, not experiencing challenge etc. you can be happy through adversity, even as you may also feel stress, anxiety disquiet, happiness can live even with pain and fear. The fallacy that happiness means you have no challenges and that everything is going your way makes it impossible to always be happy. Change the frame and happiness is right there and ever available to you.
Never been so touched truly and deeply by influenced by a 20 minute lecture. This means so much to me. Even these years later. This a turning point. Much love.
her voice is so soothing and the way she acts is so graceful omg
❤ when you're at a point you can genuinely celebrate others victories you know you're being authentically yourself. You dont get upset they're better than you, you know you have your strengths & allow others theirs.
Nile and Moon way it louder for the people at the back
EXACTLY
Exactly
yes.
Internal confidence.
" Humility is not to think less of yourself but to think of yourself less." So true. To be less self-conscious is to be more conscious of the self.
Clau Nico just a play on words
Don't think is just a "play on words". People tend to overlook the meaning of a word or a concept because of lack of abstraction in their perception. It's wonderful to redefine your vocabulary as you grow older, updating and learning new methods of communication :) I love this kind of twists, they are my little daily-epiphanies
@bianca. you are not alone.Clau Nico was 'liked'88' times. John Arnold - not so much.
The Beauty of Freedom is Immeasurable
The Satisfaction of Dignity is Divine
You Do Not Need to be Someone You Are Not
JUST you are FINE
The world Needs You
Because There is Only One You
And Only You Can Be You, Like You Do
LOVE from Cappadocia!
Ohohoh… the world NEEDS you. That’s why it’s okay to be you, even if people react badly or you might feel you aren’t liked as much as you should be feeling like! Because the world NEEDS you to be you. 🥺
Your speech is magic. I'm currently listening to you, completely fascinated, crying and I don't even know why. I think your words touched some things inside of me without me even knowing they existed. Thank you.
"I've never again been the centre of attention, you are the centre of mine, and that's a very different feeling" - wonderful, in a round about way a fantastic piece of advice.
Yes! Because when you put the focus of your attention on others, and drop your own ego, you're being of service: truly seeing, appreciating and accepting others is a radical act of love, in and of itself.
"I don't want te sing"
"Whai do yeh no wanna sing??"
"I'm shy."
"Wot ye shai fer??"
"Cus everyboody is gonna be lookin at me"
"Caroline...Dont flatter yeself darling. Yeh think anbody down th' stairs is interested in you, th' noot. Yer jobs to go down there n make'n happy so go'in sing."
Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Scotland.
Want you to know I laughed really hard at this.
Thank you for writing out this little conversation! I have a slight hearing problem and couldn't make out the mother's last sentence...Thank you for enabling me to "hear" it!
@@ellyw7201 I had to use the close caption option... it's at the bottom.. otherwise... I wouldn't have gotten the message very well
Haha ... that is so on point!
i absolutely love this
I knew I was going to love this from the moment I set my eyes on her clothes. No one who is disconnected to themselves would be able to be bold with such simplicity. This video has inspired me in many ways
This is absolutely amazing and right on time! I loved her reference to Jill Scott...so perfect! The 4 different versions of yourself is so correct!
She looks like a time traveler that's been on a few tours and has seen things.
She definitely is from Galiffrey
she came through the Star Gate to speak to earthlings how to cope with our situations .
@@sandyprimus9831 Well at least she wasn't trying to sell fashion it's not a good look perhaps she just nipped out from her funeral parlor job
@@thetruthk5138 lol
She's like the master in Dr. Strange
"Find out who you are and then do it on purpose" D. Parton
The whole Tedtalk summed up in one sentence. But still a great video.
I am absolutely in love with her energy. She is so calming and radiating love
TEDx events embody the ethos of lifelong learning and curiosity. I'm continually impressed by the caliber of speakers and the depth of insights shared at these gatherings.