How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins | TEDxSF

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  • čas přidán 11. 05. 2024
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    Mel Robbins is a married working mother of three, an ivy-educated criminal lawyer, and one of the top career and relationship experts in America. Widely respected for her grab-'em-by-the-collar advice and tough love, Robbins drills through the mental clutter that stands between people and what they want. Her approach is smart, effective and entertaining. Five days a week, Mel hosts her own syndicated radio show The Mel Robbins Show, discussing hot topics and giving advice to callers across America. She is starring in a new series, In-Laws, airing this summer on A&E. In addition, she writes a monthly column for Success Magazine, is a former CNBC contributor and is the co-founder of Advice for Living, Inc., which develops products and television programming with experts in the wellness, health, relationship and career categories.
    Most nights, once the kids are in bed, you'll find Mel at home with a bourbon on the rocks and her Australian Shepherd at her feet, writing about life, love and everything else on her award-winning blog: www.melrobbins.com
    event video by: repertoireproductions.com/

Komentáře • 13K

  • @abhisheksinghal3358
    @abhisheksinghal3358 Před 4 lety +3044

    "You'll never hang out with the person who talks to you like you talk to yourself" hit read hard

    • @nidhyajoseph1457
      @nidhyajoseph1457 Před 3 lety +18

      Wow! I like that mindset. So true!

    • @hmeoscar
      @hmeoscar Před 3 lety +7

      Because thoughts are not social interactions, they are not comparable and saying they are is childish.

    • @sarangkim6373
      @sarangkim6373 Před 3 lety +5

      @Risa J
      I only read half of this book... why? Because I forgot it in the seat pocket when I flew across the Atlantic... And you know what? When I realized this I was so HAPPY... Why? Because I knew that someone was going to find it and get to read it and I felt nothing but joy. I came to this site so I could buy it and finish the last half, but I already know enough about this book and this author ..... to rate it 5 stars... I'd give it 11 if there were 10.
      It's so exciting to be finding that the path to a place I'd once visited temporarily, as if on a vacation, was actually a place that I can now live. The only thing more exciting than that is wanting to share this discovery with so many others... I'm risking becoming a pain on Facebook talking about this author...
      He is full of Humility and backs away from any notion that he or anyone can do unto any other. This is a Process that only you can take on for you. Daniel Anderson is a guide for you to enable your own journey to a place that is so incredible you'll be awed and probably even suffer a wave of fear that you might ever loose what you gained it is so precious. Thankfully he teaches us how to transcend that kind of fear so we are able to recover from it! If you want to gift people you love... his books would be a way to accomplish that and, if they are not ready to read them, they might give them to someone who would... they are truly a gift to the world.
      p.s. name of this book is "kit for emotional stability" by Daniel Anderson

    • @lourdandreilingat2903
      @lourdandreilingat2903 Před 3 lety +4

      what does this mean? can someone explain this. thanks

    • @hmeoscar
      @hmeoscar Před 3 lety +55

      @@lourdandreilingat2903 the way people have negative thoughts about themselves, like "don't apply for that job, you'll never get it" or "don't bother going on a diet you'll fail in a day", you wouldn't hang out with someone who said those things to you in conversation so you should not say them to yourself either.

  • @jacky7878
    @jacky7878 Před 4 lety +6717

    1. You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.
    2. You're never going to feel like it
    3. You are not fine
    4. Waking up earlier is a representation of the physical force required to change
    5. You have to do what you don't want to do, so you can be everything you're supposed to be
    6. YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE

    • @msay8790
      @msay8790 Před 3 lety +171

      it's the "YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE" for me.

    • @MrTeslatube
      @MrTeslatube Před 3 lety +14

      @@msay8790 if you unmask I'll do it. 😊

    • @msay8790
      @msay8790 Před 3 lety +6

      @@MrTeslatube mask offff

    • @christafratis4099
      @christafratis4099 Před 3 lety +6

      You've changed my life!! ❤

    • @martinrussell7497
      @martinrussell7497 Před 3 lety +139

      "Action leads to motivation"
      This is so true!
      Two weeks ago I forced myself to stop procrastinating (after years and years...and years of trying) and started being productive. I hated it at first but after 3 days of changing bad habits and doing other things other than just being on the internet I started to LOVE the feeling of satisfaction I got everytime I did some hard work. I really feel like I can do anything, after two weeks! I'm never going back to the dark mindset I was in before. I'm enjoying life now and I'm really excited about the future. I know I have a long way and it's not easy but this is the new me.
      You just need to experience both feelings (feeling of disappointment after you do something to screw yourself and the feeling of satisfaction you get when you do some hard work that you know is beneficial for you) I can assure you that you will choose that feeling of satisfaction everytime.

  • @BanjoPixelSnack
    @BanjoPixelSnack Před 8 měsíci +399

    Can’t remember who said it but: “The pain of regret is worse than the pain of discipline.” 🙏🏼

    • @zahooja
      @zahooja Před 8 měsíci +2

      Kept searching for someone on the right grid and there you are

    • @Dennis-cr2or
      @Dennis-cr2or Před 2 měsíci +4

      Jim Rohn

    • @kelvinjolley4371
      @kelvinjolley4371 Před 8 dny

      Maybe not originally ? but Joyce Meyer says it

  • @peaceemmanuel8998
    @peaceemmanuel8998 Před rokem +248

    Tomorrow is near, yet so far away. Choose this day to love unconditionally, and be happy within

    • @peaceemmanuel8998
      @peaceemmanuel8998 Před rokem

      Richard A . Blair Fx

    • @peaceemmanuel8998
      @peaceemmanuel8998 Před rokem

      OR Instagram

    • @peaceemmanuel8998
      @peaceemmanuel8998 Před rokem

      He will guide you through the process of investing

    • @anitahart8313
      @anitahart8313 Před rokem +1

      @lukumanassanalhassan9431 Everybody has been talking about (Richard A. Blair Fx) so I'm not surprise you mentioned him again is this his contact

    • @anitahart8313
      @anitahart8313 Před rokem +1

      I really need to write him up

  • @PostScarcitytCat
    @PostScarcitytCat Před 4 lety +12105

    Help i'm stuck on the TED self-help playlist

  • @Jokyusan
    @Jokyusan Před 3 lety +4778

    "when you turned 18, nobody tells you it's your job to parent yourself" god, this hit. It's so true and the change is so sudden, you'll just notice people around you stop caring as they did when you were a child.

    • @rajesh_404
      @rajesh_404 Před 2 lety +32

      What if that 18 year old chap had done so in advance:)

    • @aurora_boketto7746
      @aurora_boketto7746 Před 2 lety +59

      Since i was born i had to parent myself xD rip me but true, it somehow gets even harder

    • @rebelraccoon9018
      @rebelraccoon9018 Před 2 lety +48

      @@aurora_boketto7746 That's sad. I hope you have someone who remembers to take care of you.

    • @greeneyeddg
      @greeneyeddg Před 2 lety +86

      Parents do not necessarily stop caring. They just don't want to fight an 18-y-o who will inevitably say, "I'm 18 now, You can't make me do anything I don't want to do."

    • @xtrordinarygalsvlog89
      @xtrordinarygalsvlog89 Před 2 lety +45

      I think they stop responding to you like you're a child and allowed or expect you to figure things out yourself first, then they'd be there as support... just my 2 cents🙂

  • @laestherminator
    @laestherminator Před rokem +258

    It is crazy to know that she described this as a 20-minute panic attack on her podcast. She was so confident and could have fooled me.

    • @melifever
      @melifever Před 6 měsíci +5

      is that what was happening? She almost gave me one! Pfew... Hey, I still listened to the whole thing and actually didn't snooze my alarm today.

    • @JoseAlves-fw4rd
      @JoseAlves-fw4rd Před 4 měsíci +6

      Knowing this enriches even more her lecture

    • @user-wh2bs9tp4y
      @user-wh2bs9tp4y Před 2 měsíci +1

      I wanted to know what it looked like… and it looks like success to me! I live in a panic attack- maybe I could do at least something with my life lol

    • @jayteamoriarty-writer7534
      @jayteamoriarty-writer7534 Před 2 měsíci

      Same, I had no idea because she seems so solid. I think she made it in two seconds, which explains why the words/pictures are so simple, but that adds to the effectiveness. No fancy graphics, just Mel and her life and real examples. She's very good at using anxiety energy to get her point across, I think alota ppl treat all anxiety as bad (as opposed to just over-anxiety). I suffer from it at times, but breathing exercises are great.

  • @proggenius2024
    @proggenius2024 Před rokem +425

    She felt at home however the audience gets uncomfortable with her actions. I have learnt a thing from it. You don't have to care what others think of your actions as long as you believe in what you are doing. She was truly remarkable.

    • @whatfurqanknows
      @whatfurqanknows Před rokem +6

      is too much not caring and believing yourself regardlessly healthy?

    • @amaan06
      @amaan06 Před 11 měsíci +4

      ​​@@whatfurqanknows it depends on the type of a person you are and how you want to lead the life, for someone who enjoys solitude or is an introvert, too much of not caring can work in situations but someone who wants to socialize and make connections, you can't go the path of too much carelessness.

    • @tuanlong6876
      @tuanlong6876 Před 7 měsíci +2

      I don't like the way she points her finger at the audience. It is impolite and rude.

    • @turborockon69
      @turborockon69 Před 6 měsíci

      I don't like that you don't like it.@@tuanlong6876

    • @MillennialAngst
      @MillennialAngst Před 4 měsíci +2

      That’s the whole point though… getting uncomfortable. It just drives home the message even more than if she were to simply stand on stage and speak from a distance.

  • @deckearns
    @deckearns Před 3 lety +2977

    'Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever could'...

    • @mafia-mh6ke
      @mafia-mh6ke Před 2 lety +21

      I really needed to read that right now
      Thank you °°

    • @ShadowofHalim
      @ShadowofHalim Před 2 lety +9

      i have tried so much and failed so much, I swear idk what to do anymore

    • @SicsaM83
      @SicsaM83 Před 2 lety +12

      Too much failure will cause doubt and the cycle continues, trust me

    • @DutchPlanDerLindeFromTahiti
      @DutchPlanDerLindeFromTahiti Před 2 lety +22

      I didn't fail. I just found 10,000 ways that won't work. -Thomas Edison

    • @wesleytyler9599
      @wesleytyler9599 Před 2 lety +13

      @@ShadowofHalim KEEP TRYING UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT ✅ 💯
      NEVER GIVE UP . WHEN WE STOP LEARNING WE STOP GROWING

  • @christineregines1198
    @christineregines1198 Před 3 lety +2520

    "Your problem isn't ideas. Your problem is you don't act on them."

  • @nourwassim6141
    @nourwassim6141 Před 2 lety +74

    Summary -
    -Think about what you want - Be selfish and specific
    -Don't tell yourself you're 'fine' - you probably convinced yourself that the thing you truly want, you're 'fine' not having it
    -You're never going to 'feel like it', don't hit snooze on your ideas
    -It's your job to make yourself do the things you don't want to do, so that you can be everything you're supposed to be
    -FORCE yourself to change your routine - anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force
    -Feeling stuck/dissatisfied with your life is a signal that one of your most basic needs aren't being met - the need for &
    -Get out your head
    -Get past your feelings
    -Get your comfort zone
    -Don't think too much, do something fast before you end up pulling the "emergency brakes"
    -Act on your ideas or impulse

  • @imnotangryimlonely9930
    @imnotangryimlonely9930 Před rokem +187

    "you wouldn't hang out with ppl who talk to you the way you talk to yourself"
    Damn that hit. I watched way too many motivational talks and whatsoever but for the first time I feel like this actually changed something inside.
    I don't wanna feel sorry for myself anymore and I sure as heck don't wanna feel stuck in my own life.
    Thank you sm for this❤️

  • @fiker.m6630
    @fiker.m6630 Před 3 lety +2868

    she was so comfortable, she was talking to them as a friend. I've never seen a ted talk amazing like this.

    • @crystalwahhab9594
      @crystalwahhab9594 Před 3 lety +29

      Absolutely! Engaging!

    • @petergonzalez1719
      @petergonzalez1719 Před 3 lety +9

      Killed it!

    • @PeopleHealthTru
      @PeopleHealthTru Před 3 lety +18

      TED subjects are good, but almost every video and news report can communicate the key points in 5 minutes or less, instead of wasting 10-20 minutes for everyone when they could be DOING something useful.

    • @gameaddictgonewild4391
      @gameaddictgonewild4391 Před 3 lety +4

      watch more ted i gues

    • @alexandragriseltellovalenz1029
      @alexandragriseltellovalenz1029 Před 2 lety +37

      @@PeopleHealthTru I think that there are topics that deserve more time to not just express the key points because to make people act, you need to emphatize with them, make them feel like they need to change.

  • @Untouched77
    @Untouched77 Před 5 lety +1886

    "I don't care how you feel. I care about what you want. And if you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want, you will not get it. Because you will never feel like it."

  • @LaraTang
    @LaraTang Před 10 měsíci +80

    "All day long you have ideas that could change your life, could change the world, could change the way you feel. And what do you do with them? Nothing!" She is so right! I needed to hear this. I love this statement now!

    • @atandretavares
      @atandretavares Před 7 měsíci

      lets learn life programming: Could = -1. (Error) Should = 0. (False or Stop) Need = 1. (True or Start)

    • @user-vg4ox6mi5w
      @user-vg4ox6mi5w Před 6 měsíci

      Well did you change?

  • @JenJ2023
    @JenJ2023 Před rokem +103

    I'm having a CZcams TED talk marathon to help my CZcams addiction. Seems to be a legit way to do it. 💯

    • @nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384
      @nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384 Před rokem +9

      lmao same. i want to quit social media, i have told everyone i have quit social media, but i come and watch what my brain calls "useful videos". i know my brain is fooling me, yet i am unable to stop it.

    • @CalmDown-so3ye
      @CalmDown-so3ye Před rokem

      @@nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384 we are consumers of an infinitive content let's hope the internet dies...

    • @nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384
      @nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384 Před rokem +2

      @@CalmDown-so3ye i mean in the 2000s it wasnt this bad, i think. algorithms which show you what you want to watch and infinite scroll are the crux of today's problems

    • @CalmDown-so3ye
      @CalmDown-so3ye Před rokem +1

      @@nonefvnfvnjnjnjevjenjvonej3384 yeah like 5-6 years ago I remember me and my friends watch what's popular or we had channels love most and we waited videos from them like a TV series

  • @thoughtpolice9847
    @thoughtpolice9847 Před 4 lety +2427

    "Treat yourself as if you were someone you are responsible for helping." -JP

    • @lonewolf1865
      @lonewolf1865 Před 4 lety +29

      😐😐😐😟Damn thks for this; this will help me a lot with my self love journey as I try so hard to cope with a low self imagine 😢

    • @lynneng25
      @lynneng25 Před 4 lety +18

      Quote Dr. Jordan Peterson

    • @jesuscastrolira
      @jesuscastrolira Před 4 lety +3

      An excellent speaker.

    • @Farbroe
      @Farbroe Před 4 lety +7

      Look up his latest book:
      “12 Rules for Life - An Antidote to Chaos”

    • @charlottehanna3860
      @charlottehanna3860 Před 3 lety +1

      Yes!

  • @jackie5046
    @jackie5046 Před 5 lety +489

    "You wouldn't hang out with someone who spoke to you the way you speak to yourself" brilliant

    • @Fifenfurter
      @Fifenfurter Před 4 lety +9

      This is why I dont hang out with people. They inevitably say the things to you they say to themselves. 🤷

    • @fredrogersflinttest1127
      @fredrogersflinttest1127 Před 4 lety +1

      My favorite Mel quote!

    • @lourdandreilingat2903
      @lourdandreilingat2903 Před 4 lety +1

      does that means it bothers your inner self when someone dont reciprocate the same way you want to be treated?

  • @chrisd631
    @chrisd631 Před 8 měsíci +12

    My favourite quote.
    "Self pity solves nothing"
    Aka feelings sorry for yourself is normal, reflect sure, but start doing something about it.

  • @RodRegan
    @RodRegan Před rokem +11

    11 years later, I watched this and went on a walk in a snowy beautful winter day. Thanks for the motivation.

  • @liamc7097
    @liamc7097 Před 4 lety +5017

    Short version: You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.

  • @MaggieScene
    @MaggieScene Před 3 lety +676

    "When you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life, it's a signal. And it's not a signal that your life is broken. It's a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met. Your need for exploration."

  • @spamdoe9874
    @spamdoe9874 Před 2 lety +50

    Thank you so much Mel Robbins for this incredible speech, it really was the fulcrum for breaking my procrastination habits. Thank you TED for the event that brought us this speech and for generously sharing it freely to CZcams. Forever grateful. Don’t know where I’d be without it.

  • @idunno1091
    @idunno1091 Před rokem +22

    She’s like a mom to me i really needed to hear her words to become a better version of myself i love her

  • @jobuie
    @jobuie Před 4 lety +2859

    She’s the kind of person i want to have as a friend when I’m feeling down. So straightforward.

    • @mumoalex
      @mumoalex Před 4 lety +11

      True dat, her Enough is out of this world...

    • @April-rr7ex
      @April-rr7ex Před 3 lety +42

      Isn’t she telling YOU to be that person? Perhaps you should watch this again.

    • @fairy5668
      @fairy5668 Před 3 lety +34

      Be your OWN FRIEND
      Is what she would say

    • @RMtagz
      @RMtagz Před 3 lety +1

      Woahhh how I wish Hahahahahah

    • @souka9668
      @souka9668 Před 3 lety +2

      I have a friend that is pretty straightforward... isn't it cool 😁

  • @fernandagoncalves9221
    @fernandagoncalves9221 Před 7 lety +3264

    I need a TEDx video about how to stop watching TEDx videos, seriously i need to sleep

    • @ExclusiveLM
      @ExclusiveLM Před 7 lety +27

      Lets recap......... Fine equals Fuck and she didn't say how much we have to pay for her to moon us. But....... not every seminar will be perfect.

    • @WhiteTrezza
      @WhiteTrezza Před 7 lety +3

      I totally feel u.

    • @oghoghoasemota893
      @oghoghoasemota893 Před 7 lety +31

      Just do it.... you feel the impulse? Then do it.

    • @Chevalier_de_Pas
      @Chevalier_de_Pas Před 7 lety

      Vê o video da Mel Robbins sobre a técnica dos 5 segundos; isso irá ajudar-te a não procrastinar o sono. É mais ou menos isto: força-te a começar a meter na cama antes de acabares de contar 5 segundos.

    • @sherryrissik8638
      @sherryrissik8638 Před 7 lety +1

      I like your response : ))

  • @firstandforemost1
    @firstandforemost1 Před 11 měsíci +6

    -Think about what you want - Be selfish and specific
    -Don't tell yourself you're 'fine' - you probably convinced yourself that the thing you truly want, you're 'fine' not having it. You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.
    -You're never going to 'feel like it', don't hit snooze on your ideas.
    -It's your job to make yourself do the things you don't want to do, so that you can be everything you're supposed to be.
    -Force yourself to change your routine - anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force. Waking up earlier is a representation of the physical force required to change.
    -Feeling stuck/dissatisfied with your life is a signal that one of your most basic needs aren't being met - the need for. You have to do what you don't want to do, so you can be everything you're supposed to be.
    -Get out your head.
    -Get past your feelings.
    -Get your comfort zone. You have to force yourself to be uncomfortable.
    -Don't think too much, do something fast before you end up pulling the "emergency brakes"
    -Act on your ideas or impulse
    "When you listen to how you feel about what you want you will not get it because you will never feel like it."

  • @drinaciofernandes
    @drinaciofernandes Před rokem +11

    I watched this video about 6 years ago but nothing seemed to click. I probably wasn't ready to accept it then.
    Just got around to reading your book. It is so refreshing to see how much you have included the audience in your book. Its probably the first book that I have read as such.
    In just one day of having starting to read and not even finishing it I have managed to do things that I have been putting off for years.
    The only regret is why have I not done this earlier

  • @liiono
    @liiono Před 6 lety +2371

    I have social anxiety but today I'll begin to force myself to overcome it. I want to feel happy and free so I'm starting today, wish me luck!

    • @Besttimes1215
      @Besttimes1215 Před 6 lety +35

      I am sure you can do it, All the Best!!

    • @snellegerrie
      @snellegerrie Před 6 lety +33

      Good luck! I have the same problem, i'll take the risks 5,4,3,2,1

    • @davisnicholas9123
      @davisnicholas9123 Před 6 lety +13

      Luisa Cruz i am gonna do it too.. how are you doing now?

    • @obi-wanea9364
      @obi-wanea9364 Před 6 lety +9

      I hope things worked out for you!

    • @cocoke7095
      @cocoke7095 Před 6 lety +8

      You are awesome and I'm sure you can do it.
      Best Wish!

  • @keramiroberts6695
    @keramiroberts6695 Před 5 lety +3556

    Gosh darn it. This video made me wash my hair at 2 in the morning....
    I'm disabled so that's hard for me... But... I felt the urge as my hair was mingling a d went for it.
    My hair is now lovely.

  • @hucklesnook1848
    @hucklesnook1848 Před 2 lety +9

    She is an amazing speaker, I love when she said "I'm counting on you, you got stuff to do!"

  • @johnnylonglegs
    @johnnylonglegs Před rokem +18

    "you have life changing ideas for a reason and its not to torture yourself" I think every artist / creative person needs to hear this

  • @zbzz5815
    @zbzz5815 Před 4 lety +1592

    I am visiting this video again. The first time I watched it I was depressed in my old job. I felt burnout, super stagnant. I have always wanted to change to a new job, but did not have enough courage to do so because I feared instability. And one day I saw this, and I practiced the 5 second rule. I am today in my new job, with better pay, better environment. GLAD I FOUND THIS TEDTALK.

    • @bspiderm
      @bspiderm Před 4 lety +3

      Lolo Lulu until you are fired

    • @vuyisasongca4761
      @vuyisasongca4761 Před 4 lety +7

      This is what I'm going through right now

    • @gretchenjacks
      @gretchenjacks Před 4 lety +12

      Good for you Lolo I am proud of you. and you should feel proud of yourself too.

    • @kirilcherry7612
      @kirilcherry7612 Před 4 lety +37

      Ignore Kris, it's stories like your's that motivate us all.

    • @traylmixxed2290
      @traylmixxed2290 Před 4 lety +7

      That's awesome!

  • @whybeohfree6284
    @whybeohfree6284 Před 4 lety +1779

    I searched "how to get over depression" and I got here. I took a bowl of spaghetti and sat down to watch it. Half way through the video I'm crying telling myself "I'm not fine" with spaghetti falling out of my mouth.

    • @martynas.6649
      @martynas.6649 Před 4 lety +51

      You are amazing and you are great . 1, 2, 3,4, 5!
      If not connect with me for more friends support - I believe in you

    • @aliciakok4046
      @aliciakok4046 Před 4 lety +15

      Huggie💛

    • @abbyheehee7687
      @abbyheehee7687 Před 4 lety +15

      Aww it’s gonna be okay wish you luck

    • @kaur7044
      @kaur7044 Před 4 lety +9

      Did the same thing..

    • @shannonchen6818
      @shannonchen6818 Před 4 lety +8

      hope you feeling better now

  • @rocioromerolopezpediatra5793

    Today I literally woke up. I felt my vital energy. Thank you Mel Robbins.

  • @StoicBarbarian
    @StoicBarbarian Před rokem +40

    Seeing someone that is that good at public speaking is impressive. Great advice too. 👍

    • @jcjs33
      @jcjs33 Před 9 měsíci

      poor public speaker ... and i bet worse in private or personal ...OMski

  • @vivianeb90
    @vivianeb90 Před 4 lety +1872

    What I gathered from this video:
    1. "You are never gonna feel like doing it." So just do it now.
    2. When you get the idea to do sth, stop thinking and do it within 5 seconds.
    3. You gotta be your own parent. Force yourself to do the things you don't want to do.
    4. Don't ever hit the snooze button on your alarm. (I used to do that, but just felt more tired after sleeping 10 minutes longer again and again) So, really. Don't hit the snooze button and just rip away the blanket, swing your feet into your slippers and start your day.
    5. Take a walk outside right now. (which btw I did, was planning on it anyway but glad I did it earlier than planned)

    • @ohniicha
      @ohniicha Před 4 lety +53

      I'm proud of you, random stranger. Very cool.

    • @ehsamproduction
      @ehsamproduction Před 4 lety +31

      Thank you! Not all heroes wear cape :)

    • @vivianeb90
      @vivianeb90 Před 4 lety +18

      Thank you guys. I feel like someone just gave me a heroes cape like a prize. Haha

    • @rhoho2217
      @rhoho2217 Před 4 lety +17

      Thanks so much for sharing your notes!

    • @starrostami3972
      @starrostami3972 Před 4 lety +16

      Thank yooou
      I learnt from ur note more than the speach
      It was too long and boring

  • @larry10101010101010
    @larry10101010101010 Před 8 lety +2570

    This is how I get over a break-up. Watching TedTalks. Damn this helps.

  • @marizsarce4966
    @marizsarce4966 Před 2 lety +8

    Thank you so much, Mel! This is exactly what I need to hear right now. Really stuck with my current reality which I don't want to face. Sometimes when we feel stuck, we just need to act. Thanks so much for this 5-second tip!

  • @sidlove5798
    @sidlove5798 Před 2 lety +49

    To anyone who feels life is pathetic or it sucks.. just know you are doing your best and you are special no matter what the enemy brings to you.. do not allow fear doubt to mess up your life.. you are worth more than you believe or think

    • @nicoleasi2656
      @nicoleasi2656 Před 10 měsíci

      In highschool 3rdQ recently I've been having a thoughts to kill myself but it's wrong making me procastinate more I think it started 2month ago
      What should I do( note:please don't involve others to the sulution I'm really weak at that part

    • @jcjs33
      @jcjs33 Před 9 měsíci

      when life seems like it's falling apart , it's just 'falling into place'...OMski

    • @nihilisticnirvana
      @nihilisticnirvana Před 4 měsíci

      Are u alive ​@@nicoleasi2656

  • @TheBoomshine
    @TheBoomshine Před 9 lety +3409

    The problem is, the school system actually destroys this part of the mind for many people. We're taught for years on end, to stop, think, analyze, ruminate... but it turns out we have intuition and gut impulses that can allow us to be spontaneous and confident in what we do... and not always see our failures in the form of an F or 40%. We're taught to work our butts off, then take long breaks. We're taught to follow a routine and do things that don't interest us for hours and hours to make some number. So when it's all done and we're in the real world, many of us simply don't know HOW to go about even framing our mind for this way of thinking. You're lucky if you had great parents, teachers or friends that fostered this part of you, and to people like this, it's easy. It's as simple as just doing it, and they don't understand why people procrastinate or have analysis paralysis.
    I used to be a very creative and spontaneous child, and by the end of high school I was just another robot. It has taken me years to even realize what happened to me, and now I'm a few years deep into trying to find my natural human side again.
    I know she has a small amount of time to get across a big topic, but for talks like this to be really effective IMO, they have to share a type of detox method with tangible things to do. Mindfulness meditation is so crucial for many of us. You can't be happy or operate in the "now" if you're constantly future tripping or thinking about your past. Again, the school system gears you to think of the future. Graduation will save you. Post-secondary will save you. Work will save you. Making tons of money will save you. Finding love will save you. Learn to live in the present, and learn to calm your mind so that the natural river of thought can flow without obstructions caused by everyday mundane tasks or negative thoughts. That's how you'll find out what you really want, and what to do to get it. Social media and pornography are killers. Bad diets, lack of exercise, and lack of PLAY are killers. Many people don't even realize how important it is to to PLAY. Play catch, play at a gym, play with friends. When we think of the road to accomplish something major, we think that ALL that time we'll have to be working and it's daunting. Because that's what it was like in school. But in reality, if you learn to work a bit, then play a bit, you can continue on the road to your goals with a freer mind.
    Anyway, I don't have all the answers, and I'm in the struggle myself. But I just thought I'd share with everyone some of the things I've come to learn. I see a lot of comments saying that it's easier said than done. And really, I agree. Very few speakers are tackling the tangible everyday things that are plaguing the mind needed to even be receptive to these types of speeches.

    • @imludwig
      @imludwig Před 9 lety +86

      TheBoomshine I can actually feel that right now, after a year of high school, I'm not funny anymore, I don't care about friend or girls at all, I'm just kinda meh, thank's for the comment, it might change my life, any extra help?

    • @TheBoomshine
      @TheBoomshine Před 9 lety +214

      SickChip I'd say just make sure to take time out to hang with friends, play outside, do things you love... don't just sit around at the computer all day or over study. Don't cram or do all-nighters, try to set a certain amount of work time, and then some YOU time. It's really tough, I know it is. There's just so much work to do. If I could do it all over again, I'd know that I don't want to be a brain surgeon or engineer and just settle for moderate marks instead of over achieving in everything. And instead of thinking that school is my only source of education, I'd educate myself in LIFE. Talk to all sorts of people, pursue my passions, learn an instrument. Cause after high school the world is much different. There are more fulfilling things than grades or huge paychecks. Follow what you love because society is a trap. I think Mark Twain once said, "Don't let school get in the way of your education". Great quote. All the best, my friend. Try to keep that little fire alive in you, don't let the system take it from you. If it means getting that sleep and only studying half the material, or failing a quiz or two because you went for a bike ride instead, do it. Trust me, the world won't end. It'll only do the opposite. :)

    • @chrisii1867
      @chrisii1867 Před 9 lety +86

      TheBoomshine didnt watch to much of this but i agree. While im attending college now I think school does a horrible job in some areas because school can brainwash you to think this is all you need, Go to school and you are fine. Nope, you aren't, school is just a bonus.
      Many parents are undoubtedly having way too much faith in school, they ignore their children more because they think they are taken care of in school, as if it is the answer to everything. In reality, you can have all the knowledge in the world but without a heart for something it doesn't matter worth shit. Parents need to think before having kids.

    • @DGPoledance
      @DGPoledance Před 9 lety +65

      TheBoomshine you got it DOWN!! The world needs people like you to speak up more. Do you have a blog? I'm gonna check out your channel, I'll be disappointed if there is nothing there :) I am probably going to copy and paste your post here into Notepad. Much love.

    • @crewc02
      @crewc02 Před 9 lety

      Word

  • @watchmanonthewall14
    @watchmanonthewall14 Před 3 lety +647

    Someone once said, "When you're in a deep hole, the first step in getting out of that hole is to stop digging.

    • @milieg3309
      @milieg3309 Před 3 lety +14

      Thank you, I really needed to read that right now

    • @jollilop8611
      @jollilop8611 Před 3 lety +3

      Sometimes i just really need to read something like this

    • @littlekiwi8964
      @littlekiwi8964 Před 3 lety +2

      Wooow....this should be at the top

    • @sofianunes1784
      @sofianunes1784 Před 3 lety +1

      is insane but we are said and we don't change nothing

    • @edmslife605
      @edmslife605 Před 3 lety +1

      Woooow😲😲

  • @katielevy
    @katielevy Před rokem +7

    Needed this! I live in my head and stay scared to death of everything. I’ve created so many phobias that when I’m not working, I don’t want to be around people. I literally have panic attacks to go shopping in a big store. It takes all my energy to work in the public every day. I’m very passionate and great at working. I have so many goals, if I could just get out of the habit of pulling emergency brake. She’s so right about everything she said. Very enjoyable and encouraging. We need more people like this!

    • @scottmontgomery1124
      @scottmontgomery1124 Před rokem

      I feel your pain , I’ve been like this for 30 years. It’s something that never goes away, I just learn to manage it better. Running, meditation, prayer helps. Maybe get on antidepressant if you have too.

  • @sacerrone
    @sacerrone Před rokem +7

    What a fantastic speaker I’ve been listening to her last few years and came across this old talk and was fascinated by her stage performance and delivery . Goo Mel Robbins love you!!!

  • @Yourworldwithin
    @Yourworldwithin Před 8 lety +6415

    There is so much wisdom packed into this 21 minute and 39 second speech that I can't handle it...

    • @merwanyavuz4121
      @merwanyavuz4121 Před 8 lety +52

      It's 21:40

    • @timfosho
      @timfosho Před 8 lety +41

      +Your World Within There was like 2 things that were practically applicable in the whole video and it was basically just, 'Take action.... NOW!'

    • @bobrolander4344
      @bobrolander4344 Před 8 lety +6

      +Your World Within *And none of it will change our future for the better. It will only make it easier for you to ignore climate change, deny responsibility for children getting raped in Africa and make you feel better when you hear that your colleque just jumped off the Golden Gate bridge... HAVE A NICE TrIP! x(*

    • @jackbotman
      @jackbotman Před 8 lety +6

      +Your World Within I'm having hard time processing my feelings towards this woman :|

    • @Badbugz
      @Badbugz Před 6 lety +14

      the wisdom of years of social construct and narcissism, packed for an affordable price and a Instagram follow click.

  • @omarayman6187
    @omarayman6187 Před 3 lety +767

    "If you feel dissatisfied or stuck in your life, it is a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met."

    • @nooneinparticular8383
      @nooneinparticular8383 Před 3 lety +6

      Nice one!

    • @danielmoore4024
      @danielmoore4024 Před 3 lety +18

      @@nooneinparticular8383 Not nice one!
      This world is deluded! Do you fear the unknown? No, you cannot fear something you don't know, you can fear letting go of what you know!
      Awareness is the way to freedom and life. Pay attention and observe the present moment, how can you enjoy the moment if you're not in the moment?
      Drop your illusions, opinions, concepts, prejudges, labels, expectations, drop them all and wake up.
      Happiness lyes within you, you don't need to be rich, you don't need to be successful, you don't need friends, you don't need anything to be happy because a human being's natural state is happiness.
      Look back to when you were three years old, where was your happiness coming from?
      Friends? A career? Success? Money? Power? No.
      Your happiness is within YOU. Wake up out of the condition you were put in.
      Again, your happiness is within YOU.

    • @angiedonams1266
      @angiedonams1266 Před 3 lety +6

      I feel stuck and pretty much dissatisfied in ma life but I don't know wat to do abt it.

    • @danielmoore4024
      @danielmoore4024 Před 3 lety +9

      @@angiedonams1266
      Try reading about self-awareness and self-trust.
      Research shows those who are self-aware are more fulfilled, less likely to cheat, lie or steal, have stronger relationships, are more promotable and professional at what they do.
      You've got to put yourself in the driver's seat and trust yourself, don't keep trusting what everyone else says about you.

    • @paulmerrells1771
      @paulmerrells1771 Před 3 lety +5

      You are the captain of your ship throuout your life, get out of your comfort zone , it's the truth

  • @sofiatsukervanik9171
    @sofiatsukervanik9171 Před 7 měsíci +2

    OMG i LOVE MEL ROBBINS! I started listening to her podcast and its great! She's so passionate for what she talks about, and she speaks FACTS.

  • @eonryan8491
    @eonryan8491 Před rokem +7

    5:05 - fine
    6:16 - convinced yourself you’re fine without the things you want
    8:59 - inner snooze button analogy
    9:58 - in any area you want to change, this is the fact

  • @sharpcookiellc
    @sharpcookiellc Před 9 lety +578

    Three words that I learned that changed my life. Persistence overcomes resistance.

    • @iykeuwajeh5360
      @iykeuwajeh5360 Před 9 lety +9

      secondsunn Very very true, consistent action for long enough can change everything.

    • @jkim4956
      @jkim4956 Před 9 lety +1

      secondsunn so true!!

    • @ryandavis8929
      @ryandavis8929 Před 9 lety +15

      soldforfree Three words I learned from this video. Hot ass Milf

    • @precocious38152
      @precocious38152 Před 9 lety +2

      Ryan Davis Amen. But let's definitely remember that if you want to go after that, DONT HESITATE. #HomeWrecking

    • @acgillespie
      @acgillespie Před 8 lety +2

      acgillespie Truth is... all the stupid people will believe she is smart and knows her stuff simple because she had happy *boobies* people today have been made to be stupid like this.

  • @asap397
    @asap397 Před 7 lety +167

    "If you're in your head, you are behind enemy lines." One of the best quotes I've ever heard.

  • @kathrenecampbell6708
    @kathrenecampbell6708 Před rokem +35

    Well done Mel. I'm inspired. Using this for myself and can think of 4 people to send your book to. Thank you.

  • @timkr1985
    @timkr1985 Před 2 měsíci +2

    I finally watched this video, which was on my list for a long time.
    One of the best TED Talks I've ever seen.
    Great stuff!

  • @denisedematos5412
    @denisedematos5412 Před 7 lety +2089

    She just seems like a fun aunt... Idk

    • @xladylizzy
      @xladylizzy Před 7 lety +110

      lmao, ikr. the type that gives you lots of money on your birthday, and takes you on spontaneous trips to disneyland

    • @cecetwining2560
      @cecetwining2560 Před 7 lety +35

      Yo she's my godmother

    • @GUITARTIME2024
      @GUITARTIME2024 Před 7 lety +11

      O...M...G...Change yer life...lol

    • @taliaatauatolo2559
      @taliaatauatolo2559 Před 7 lety +5

      Right! Aunt Mel!

    • @yipperdeyip
      @yipperdeyip Před 7 lety +21

      I have an aunt exactly like this one! Upbeat, fun, positive, loving, etc!
      Sadly I see her maybe once in 5 years or so...

  • @mindbodyrelaxation6828
    @mindbodyrelaxation6828 Před 2 lety +2542

    To everyone who is experiencing a difficult situation:
    To shoot an arrow you have to pull it backwards. So when life drags you back with some troubles, it means it's going to launch into something better.

  • @jadenromero5738
    @jadenromero5738 Před rokem +6

    I have noticed how silencing my emotions a little bit and truly listening word for word what someone has to say, how much easier and calmer the atmosphere is. Always listen completely before speaking.

  • @healthexplained5318
    @healthexplained5318 Před 2 lety +9

    21:40 You know you’re a great public speaker when the audience gets energised just by listening to you.

  • @asiqbalkhan
    @asiqbalkhan Před 4 lety +1519

    Summary " “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” ---- Toney Robbins

    • @kiaweking
      @kiaweking Před 4 lety +37

      “How
      Did the rose
      Ever open its heart
      And give to this world
      All its
      Beauty?
      It felt the encouragement of light
      Against its Being.
      Otherwise,
      We all remain
      Too
      Frightened”
      ― Hafez

    • @Angelshymn1
      @Angelshymn1 Před 4 lety +2

      @@kiaweking that's beautiful.

    • @liabw05
      @liabw05 Před 4 lety +1

      Adrianna Wilhite haha right?!

    • @snate56
      @snate56 Před 4 lety +2

      @Adrianna Wilhite
      Nobody, not even he, would say he didn't "steal" anything. He just knew a good idea when he saw it.

    • @sophia6297
      @sophia6297 Před 4 lety +2

      @Adrianna Wilhite THANK YOU omg I was thinking the same thing

  • @allinakhan1047
    @allinakhan1047 Před 4 lety +741

    For the scared public speakers out there, notice how much she stutters, gets her words wrong and says "sorry, I mean" and yet STILL delivers an amazing powerful speech while still seeming reliable, engaging, smart, passionate, funny, etc. It doesn't matter if you mess up!

    • @markfelice4538
      @markfelice4538 Před rokem

      We q🎉 v

    • @RakedLeaf
      @RakedLeaf Před rokem +3

      yeah because they'll get me even if I succeed

    • @yd6484
      @yd6484 Před rokem

      @@RakedLeaf 🙄

    • @RakedLeaf
      @RakedLeaf Před rokem

      @@yd6484 bro you don't know anything so don't mock me watch out for the vans or color coordinated attacks

    • @yd6484
      @yd6484 Před rokem +5

      @@RakedLeaf what 😂

  • @mz6367
    @mz6367 Před 2 lety +3

    she was so friendly with them as they were her friends, I have never seen any ted show like this.

  • @alcoholfree6381
    @alcoholfree6381 Před rokem +10

    The “Just Do It” message combined with becoming responsible for your life is well presented. I call the force that keeps me stuck “Inertia”. Enjoyed

    • @calisongbird
      @calisongbird Před rokem +1

      Everyone calls it that. That’s what inertia is.

    • @jcjs33
      @jcjs33 Před 9 měsíci

      Peck called it 'entropy' but anything i do from obligation is 'stuckness'...if done from commitment , love OMski

  • @misscinrose
    @misscinrose Před 7 lety +7269

    That was the longest Nike commercial I've ever seen.

  • @chasdavy
    @chasdavy Před 3 lety +1155

    I’m 80 , have Alzheimer’s, this lady has just blown my mind with this presentation .Thanks Mel , I love you .

  • @morganortiz3722
    @morganortiz3722 Před rokem +4

    I've watched many ted talks and i just came across this one this morning. Honestly a great way to start the day 🙏

  • @missy7863
    @missy7863 Před 2 lety +4

    I pressed the like button when she said..”I’m sure you convinced yourself that the thing you want you’re fine not having it”..that’s soooo true

  • @wisdom-for-life
    @wisdom-for-life Před 5 lety +2088

    5 second rule - when you have an impulse, you must take physical action within 5 seconds, or your mind will hit the emergency brake (stop you from doing it/talk you out of it). So, the next time you have an impulse to do something (something positive of course), count down from 5 to 1 and then do it! Take action.

    • @paulgoogol2652
      @paulgoogol2652 Před 5 lety +124

      what about a 15 minute nap before that?

    • @Tauney
      @Tauney Před 5 lety +3

      Very True.

    • @shaunslone2969
      @shaunslone2969 Před 5 lety +3

      If its for Allah and is a positive thing i would do it in less then 5 seconds, jk fbi dont come to my house your not invited LOL

    • @user-pv7rv4ob6f
      @user-pv7rv4ob6f Před 5 lety +3

      @@paulgoogol2652 hahahaha, I was thinking the same :)

    • @mcsaism
      @mcsaism Před 5 lety +1

      Crumpaloo this isn’t funny

  • @octobernone4271
    @octobernone4271 Před 2 lety +3601

    She's so energetic, I went back to bed to rest in behalf of her

  • @jassieliu
    @jassieliu Před 2 lety +13

    Mel Robbins is so inspirational. Like she have this MYSTERIOUS way of making me want to do things! I listened to her 2 years ago and now I’m here again :)

  • @JpnFn
    @JpnFn Před rokem +2

    Came back to this Ted talk because I am stuck in life. I just bought a house and now live on my own for the first time. It's growth I never knew I would face. Now, I'm trying to study for a certification but I keep putting it off bc of how dreadful it is to study consistently for it for a YEAR because that's how long it could take on average. I am average. This talk helped me realize the motivation and why is the contributing factor to all my growth... I just remembered it thanks to this talk. Thank you.

  • @instrumentaali
    @instrumentaali Před 5 lety +1059

    So, basically... "DO IT! Just DO IT! Don't let your dreams be dreams!"

    • @1ali1996
      @1ali1996 Před 5 lety +13

      My god ....U Dame right ... thnx honey

    • @elienaiassis1889
      @elienaiassis1889 Před 5 lety +7

      but with context.

    • @sbnnatan
      @sbnnatan Před 5 lety +15

      Thank you Shia

    • @InfiniteTriztan1111
      @InfiniteTriztan1111 Před 5 lety +4

      Yes, dreams are Wonderful, but nothing ever happens or completed without Action.

    • @pedrohdo
      @pedrohdo Před 5 lety +8

      Yesterday you said tomorrow, so just do it

  • @stevehigashi8335
    @stevehigashi8335 Před 5 lety +1813

    Comfort is your worst enemy!

    • @abigase135
      @abigase135 Před 5 lety +3

      Wise words.

    • @Jesussavedme
      @Jesussavedme Před 5 lety +24

      This is so true I strive for constant comfort it has made me a total of 260pounds I'm misserble

    • @shaneoflaherty8392
      @shaneoflaherty8392 Před 5 lety

      So true

    • @zdzichukraweznik2819
      @zdzichukraweznik2819 Před 5 lety +22

      Sure, yet everyone strive to ride a ferrari, have membership in 5 stars Spa, have huge appartment in luxurious estate. So basically you need to get out of your comfort zone to get in your comfort zone lol

    • @orygen0z7z74
      @orygen0z7z74 Před 5 lety +1

      You mean comfort zone, right?

  • @naomithefirstlady4531
    @naomithefirstlady4531 Před 5 měsíci +3

    Damn. This one hit the core. I have always wanted to start a digital business but the excuses I make hold me back and I don't feel like l’m living my life. This is a boost!! 🔥

  • @purplealchemistofficial

    That was the shortest 20 min video ever. Super helpful advice. I love how it didn't feel likea typical ted talk where their mic is too close to their mouth and they don't know what to do with their hands. She was awesome.

  • @RahulSaini-wg8wn
    @RahulSaini-wg8wn Před 7 lety +511

    This is the last motivational video I'm watching for the next three months and I'm going to apply every last thing she said and see what happens. And I will be back.................

    • @Pupak2
      @Pupak2 Před 7 lety +26

      Rahul Saini looking forward to hear how it was

    • @sun.sh.in.e
      @sun.sh.in.e Před 7 lety +18

      Rahul Saini PERSEVERE!!!!!!

    • @hirahassan
      @hirahassan Před 7 lety +6

      same

    • @buddhaful11
      @buddhaful11 Před 7 lety +15

      Rahul Saini You're inspiring!!!

    • @someonea6973
      @someonea6973 Před 7 lety +29

      When you come back can you tell us how's it's been

  • @justdiana7507
    @justdiana7507 Před 3 lety +913

    If 11 million people were this unsatisfied 9 years ago .... just imagine 2020 😳

    • @TheMakeupFascination
      @TheMakeupFascination Před 3 lety +12

      LITERALLY.

    • @stellalegolasnevolous4666
      @stellalegolasnevolous4666 Před 3 lety +14

      In USA

    • @andreribeiro7646
      @andreribeiro7646 Před 3 lety +38

      A billionaire said, "I do what you don't wanna do to be where you wanna be."

    • @fjkffbbf9978
      @fjkffbbf9978 Před 3 lety +31

      1. You're never going to feel like changing. Stop waiting for a perfect time.
      2. You're never going to feel like it
      3. You are not fine
      4. Waking up earlier is a representation of the physical force required to change
      5. You have to do what you don't want to do, so you can be everything you're supposed to be
      6. YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE

    • @damnnsupercalifragilistice3935
      @damnnsupercalifragilistice3935 Před 3 lety +1

      @@andreribeiro7646 stop copying replies

  • @kelvinjolley4371
    @kelvinjolley4371 Před 8 dny +1

    Melissa how did you do it? I have a sit down job . For many years I have NOT done much exercise. Before early November 2023 I was averaging 3600 steps a day then I saw this video and immediately started exercising and have averaged 9600 steps in the last 15 weeks. It’s amazing. It’s like a miracle. I don’t understand how this video did it !

    • @azlinhappley5897
      @azlinhappley5897 Před 6 dny

      You’re a total stranger, but I saw your post just now as I was watching Mel’s video for the first time and wanted to reach out and say way to go! Keep up the progress, you deserve great things. Cheers!

  • @tbelho
    @tbelho Před rokem +2

    I am going to start following 5 secs rule before my overthinking insecurities pulls me back. So that I can turn over my life decisions. Please give a like or comment in between to remind me to follow up this 5 secs rule. Thankyou.

  • @exleyhackwell5185
    @exleyhackwell5185 Před 4 lety +552

    As one of my favorite high school teachers said, "all the fun happens just outside your comfort zone"

    • @misiaw.
      @misiaw. Před 3 lety +3

      and he (she) was tooootaly right. Just go out of your comfort zone! It sounds like a-super-coach-who-is-gonna-tell-you-how-to-life,but this is true.

    • @checken1617
      @checken1617 Před 3 lety +3

      I feel like one step for me is to know what are my comfort zones. Then if I catch myself resorting to them then I know what to do

    • @lindaneese3586
      @lindaneese3586 Před 3 lety

      L R Your gut will tell you when you are out of your comfort zone. It is the prime indicator and why we usually avoid acting on an idea.

    • @maryzheng5182
      @maryzheng5182 Před 3 lety +1

      Mel Robins 5 sec rule has helped me a lot in last one year. From striking a conversation with my dad to making a phone call to my friend, I have applied this rule enormous times. The good thing is as you start doing it, it becomes your habit to answer someone without hesitation , you start replying assertively. Though m yet to completely overcome this feeling of being stuck but m on it and it has helped me a lot .
      Thanks Ma'am.

  • @itschristyler566
    @itschristyler566 Před 4 lety +1370

    This woman was born to public speak, Best TED talk I've seen in a while, I was engaged the entire time!!!

    • @dreamervanroom
      @dreamervanroom Před 4 lety +4

      It was good at 1.5 and when I read your comment I realized it. She is so slow and grade school at real-time speed.
      Her stats are true of every nub of corn. Yawn.
      And life is. Life is competition. Life eats life. The order and safety of humanity eats all the other forms, killing the biosphere. Haha.
      We won't change.

    • @Lightning-gg5iu
      @Lightning-gg5iu Před 4 lety +44

      dreamervanroom Ok edgelord

    • @jamison85
      @jamison85 Před 4 lety +13

      I agree, this could have easily come across as preachy, like a few other TED talks unfortunately do. She is very engaging.

    • @michaelangelo0305
      @michaelangelo0305 Před 4 lety +4

      She has interesting information but is obnoxious in regards of look and character

    • @Lightning-gg5iu
      @Lightning-gg5iu Před 4 lety +27

      Pavel baller Bro her character is what made this presentation interesting

  • @cherylrgreenwald
    @cherylrgreenwald Před rokem +1

    I liked the beginning--I'm even working on a memoir called, "I'm Not Fine." But as a neurodiverse person who was poorly parented, I do not relate to most of this. For most of my life I've only had myself to rely on; I tend towards change and novelty; I'm excellent at learning and maintaining new habits; and I've successfully changed careers several times. Can anyone else relate?

  • @theresamcgallicher
    @theresamcgallicher Před 11 měsíci +17

    Long story short = give yourself permission to follow your dreams and take action on them

  • @pioneer3729
    @pioneer3729 Před 6 lety +799

    "I don't care about how you Feel, I care about what you Want!"
    This quote has just stuck in my mind....

  • @mehdiz1052
    @mehdiz1052 Před 5 lety +333

    Self-sabotage due to confusing emotions is probably by far why most people end up not achieving their full potential !

    • @lilacspring2556
      @lilacspring2556 Před 5 lety +11

      Smartest comment I've seen

    • @joanlynch5271
      @joanlynch5271 Před 4 lety

      It isn't them?!? It is me?

    • @bethanysaxton7351
      @bethanysaxton7351 Před 4 lety +1

      So true! We often confuse fear or uncomfortableness with a sign that we’re heading in the wrong direction if it it takes us out of our comfort zone.

    •  Před 4 lety

      Exactly!

  • @ZTV1100
    @ZTV1100 Před rokem +1

    All the times I listened to Tony and nothing clicked, then I watched this from 11 years ago and Bamn! Glad I stumbled across this

  • @janicealmond3330
    @janicealmond3330 Před 2 lety +131

    My life has changed from this, goals have been achieved, I'm happier

    • @upsccracker298
      @upsccracker298 Před 2 lety +1

      What goals if you will like to elaborate

    • @Ninforadio
      @Ninforadio Před 2 lety

      said nobody ever.

    • @Sheen023
      @Sheen023 Před 2 lety +1

      For real? !
      Would you mind sharing a short story of what happened? 😀

  • @jorgecarlosbasombriomendoz9387

    1. Press this number 9:14
    2. Wait 2 seconds
    3. Repeat the process

  • @alyssahughes4891
    @alyssahughes4891 Před rokem +8

    Listening to this while at the gym was so empowering

  • @rehaartgallery
    @rehaartgallery Před rokem +3

    Help I am stuck in this video

  • @bp0921
    @bp0921 Před 6 lety +432

    This is how a professional presents. She was focused on her audience, a thought I had well before she mentioned that everything she does is for you. Most presenters are so focused on their material or themselves they fail to remember they are presenting to people. Audiences can connect with Mel because she's real, wasn't trying to be the perfect presenter, and spoke in plain language.

    • @mathrodite
      @mathrodite Před 5 lety +5

      But she needs wardrobe counseling

    • @dark-mv4br
      @dark-mv4br Před 5 lety +3

      @@mathrodite i suppose it's her usual image, as u could notice she feels a quite confidently

  • @perilsofmelancholic
    @perilsofmelancholic Před 8 lety +166

    I watched this high and it was life changing

  • @Zephyr5702
    @Zephyr5702 Před rokem +3

    I'm glad I watched this. It's counterintuitive and the key to making it no matter what.

  • @claudiarebecajimenezperez8182

    Inspiring, love it! And so true... sometimes, we need to force ourselves, is not going to happen because X reason, is going to happen because I want it and I'm going to push myself every day until I get it, and then, I'm going to keep finding something else, brilliant talk.

  • @a.j.nelson3276
    @a.j.nelson3276 Před 5 lety +305

    Reading comments made me realize where not alone and most of us feel the same in life.

    • @LynnKeuang
      @LynnKeuang Před 5 lety +13

      A.J. Nelson yes! And it’s a relief to me. I’m always screwing my self over in school and it makes me stressed and disappointed in myself.. but I realize that I’m not the only who is struggling with this or just other situations. Us people who are struggling are still trying to understand and learn how to manage things properly without any problems. Learn from it.

    • @Vasilyorehovo-Zuevsky
      @Vasilyorehovo-Zuevsky Před 4 lety +1

      Yes, you're right.

    • @passionpassion18
      @passionpassion18 Před 4 lety +1

      Yes. Lets make some improvement

  • @kaseybrown7664
    @kaseybrown7664 Před 7 lety +655

    Having worked in both mental health and philosophy for a while now, there's a lot with this video that's right, and a few things that make me wonder.
    -- She's absolutely right that people often do tell themselves they're doing fine when living an unexamined life. Kierkegaard wrote extensively on this; people often do whatever societal messages tell them they ought to do, then reach a point of dread when they start to wonder if they've really lead the life they wanted all this while. It's not true for everyone of course.
    -- On the other hand, it's important to discern what you have control over, and what you don't. Some of her examples are things a person may genuinely need to find peace with (and thus, just be "fine"). Mother's never going to change? It's not your job to change other people to fit your liking, so for this, you do need to be fine. Your kids might really be harmed by a divorce depending on the situation, so it might actually be best to stay married and sleep in different beds. If you lost your job and can barely pay your bills, it might actually be hard to get another job. Straining and struggling against these things under the impression that if you just struggle hard enough, you can change them, is only going to lead to greater suffering. "Have strength to change the things you can, grace to accept the things you cannot, and wisdom to know the difference."
    -- Calculating the odds of you being alive sounds inspirational, but there's no causative relationship between odds and the state of being. Odds are calculated after the fact. If I flip a coin, we could talk about the odds of it being 50/50 on heads or tails, or the odds that I would, on this day, be standing there, flipping that particular coin, after all the world events throughout human history have transpired, bringing us to these astronomical numbers that may make us feel like we're almost the center of the universe. We don't then consider that literally every mundane thought and act can also fit those same odds. But if this makes you feel inspired, then go for it.
    -- What it takes to inspire change, and the science behind why people procrastinate, is more complex than it's being made to sound here. What works for one person might not work for another. It's simply flawed to say "you're never going to feel like it". For some people, sleeping on a decision, or waiting a week, is really all it takes, and then they definitely feel like it (I'm one such person). For others they may need a commitment device, which is a sort of cue that people create for themselves to change or initiate a behavior (like putting a quarter into a jar each time you use profanity). For others, a simple act of initial determination, such as the speaker describes - getting up 30 minutes earlier and waking up immediately one single day - may be enough. Most people will, after that one day, fall back into the same routine, if other changes and commitment devices aren't set up as part of a holistic structural change.
    -- Building on the above point: "Do you think anyone who needs to go on a diet ever feels like it??"

    • @phil97n
      @phil97n Před 7 lety +35

      +Athena Brown, you certainly had to be a philosopher to critique her ideas as much as you did. I think the reason you disagree with some of her ideas is because some were brief and simplified that they may not have conveyed as intended.
      For example, "you are never going to feel like it". I think this depends on how a person is wired, or the importance. I know some elite athletes who admit they never feel like training but they train even when they are sick - winning inspires them. I wake 5am to go the gym, not once do I ever feel like going, but I go any - I want to be healthy so I go. when I used to train gymnastics, I would train even when in pain, I wanted to get good. So, me, and these athletes can relate to this - if it matters, the "why" inspires, otherwise go by emotions. winning feels good, but doing what it takes to win can sometimes suck - some of us would endure to win and I think this is what she meant in saying "you are never going to feel like it".

    • @AmberAmber
      @AmberAmber Před 7 lety +6

      Athena - that's pretty much what I think...

    • @dennydg57
      @dennydg57 Před 7 lety +11

      That's a great post Athena - I agree with what you said; though I did take away quite a few good things there were a couple points I disagreed with too - as you mentioned - thanks

    • @jamesgentry13
      @jamesgentry13 Před 7 lety +1

      none of this is right

    • @v.dembsey3355
      @v.dembsey3355 Před 7 lety +5

      You and her sound like a lost version of Choice Center in Vegas. Whenever one has TRULY examined their life they take inspired action. They are driven. You'd be surprised how often you feel like it when you're making lunar landings. Wanting to examine one's life is always good but few do yet think they have. Most everyone does either a self-directed version of it(books, lectures, seminars, and other spectator types of learning) or they do a more interactive version of examining their life but it's not experiential learning so it's never ingrained. People can read 50 books about blind spots(physically or mentally) and never know where theirs are yet they can drive around for just a few days and discover them all. If self-directed examination made any lasting difference then the planet could just listen to some Eckhart Tolle audio book and we're all in harmony but it doesn't work for the same reason you can sit on the beach for years(inside your comfort zone) and read every book and watch every documentary about the ocean and still not know the ocean except on some safe theoretical level.

  • @DoctorXander
    @DoctorXander Před 10 měsíci +2

    When she spoke about the five second rule advice I opened a file on my phone and wrote down all the things I want to change about my life. Gonna be positive and believe that it will lead somewhere

  • @gaildifford4313
    @gaildifford4313 Před 2 lety

    I've been stuck for so many years Mel.. I would so much like to change my life.

  • @TigerMonthlyHits
    @TigerMonthlyHits Před 7 lety +65

    A lot of people in the comments seem to be deeply examining her speech, but I'm going to take away the main lesson I learned.. That when I want something, I need to just go for it, and stop making excuses. At the end of the day, I don't want to regret not doing everything possible to live my dream life.

  • @jackbotman
    @jackbotman Před 8 lety +594

    All I see here is hate comments, but I'm sure all those people hating are doing just fine.

    • @angelgirldebbiejo
      @angelgirldebbiejo Před 8 lety

      +USB JACK actually with most of these ted talks people just put negative junk below----i stopped reading them (except this one---lol)

    • @manictiger
      @manictiger Před 8 lety +7

      +USB JACK
      Aaaand, that's my queue to scroll back up and not read any of these down here.

    • @fitnesspoint2006
      @fitnesspoint2006 Před 8 lety +8

      +USB JACK actually most people are they just don't realize it. Her main thesis is you should want more and be upset if you don't. I say you should want less, it is the best change I have made in my life. So I completely disagree with her.

    • @manictiger
      @manictiger Před 8 lety +1

      fitnesspoint2006
      I decided to go with:
      Be thankful for what you have.
      Acquire more as insurance for the future.
      I don't see why I can't have my cake and eat it, too.
      Why would I have a cake that I'm not going to eat? That's just silly.

    • @fitnesspoint2006
      @fitnesspoint2006 Před 8 lety +2

      manictiger because cake is not good for you.

  • @mohdharish8737
    @mohdharish8737 Před 2 lety +8

    This ted talk is too much for writers to describe what a masterpiece this video is.

  • @williamsomerset1250
    @williamsomerset1250 Před 7 měsíci

    I've never seen Mel Robbins before, but she was simply spectacular.! Lots to think about here, and I feel like I need to hear this again to try to absorb it better. In fact, I'm going to use the 5 second rule and watch it again right now. Thankyou for this Mel.

  • @highestlevellife6649
    @highestlevellife6649 Před 4 lety +260

    Her confidence and presence is admirable. It must have taken a lot of practice to speak this well.

    • @gdaymates431
      @gdaymates431 Před 4 lety +11

      I saw in another video she said this was her first time speaking like this! Amazing

    • @highestlevellife6649
      @highestlevellife6649 Před 4 lety +7

      @@gdaymates431 wowee, what a natural.

    • @EmikeAm
      @EmikeAm Před 4 lety +7

      Exactly my same thoughts. She’s a really great public speaker and I aspire to get to this level of public speaking.

    • @ginajones2328
      @ginajones2328 Před 4 lety +1

      Yes yes