Stand-Up Jokes To Save Your Terrible Dating Life

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  • čas přidán 29. 05. 2024
  • Be honest, your New Years Resolution is to cuff someone. These comedians are here to give you some tips and tricks for landing a new boo. Whitney Cummings: Can I Touch It, Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter Life Crisis, and Jen Kirkman: I'm Gonna Die Alone are now streaming on Netflix.
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  • Komedie

Komentáře • 1,2K

  • @alittlepieceofearth
    @alittlepieceofearth Před 3 lety +3150

    Pretty sure in the gold digger equation everybody knows what they are there for. When Melania was engaged to Donald, an interviewer asked if she would be marrying him if he were not so rich and her response was "Would he be marrying me if I were not so beautiful?"

    • @jelatinosa
      @jelatinosa Před 3 lety +379

      It's an exchange of desired goods. Lol

    • @caper2x
      @caper2x Před 2 lety +118

      Well, Melania was not Trump rich, but she was well to do. Not exactly a pauper.

    • @thelonelyduck7267
      @thelonelyduck7267 Před 2 lety +29

      @@jelatinosa it's not love then. That's .... Sad.

    • @serpentinewolf7085
      @serpentinewolf7085 Před 2 lety +131

      @@thelonelyduck7267
      Who cares? Marriage wasn’t about marriage for most of history.

    • @serpentinewolf7085
      @serpentinewolf7085 Před 2 lety +56

      @@yahboy2-d21
      Factual.

  • @odysyr
    @odysyr Před 3 lety +5482

    "Nothing hotter than someone respecting your boundaries"
    I know this was a 'bit' but I'll be damned if that doesn't ring true!

    • @simplyhuman3982
      @simplyhuman3982 Před 3 lety +51

      Kinda how I met my wife.

    • @Amaya313
      @Amaya313 Před 3 lety +23

      Completely TRUE!

    • @As-jj2rc
      @As-jj2rc Před 3 lety +20

      I mean I have joke that in my mind and she made it a bit, it's SO true!

    • @jason_always_painting3994
      @jason_always_painting3994 Před 3 lety +9

      This is soooo true

    • @Jamming0ut
      @Jamming0ut Před 2 lety +4

      @Kirk S. you tell the actually truth, it's not about respecting boundaries, is about being enough hot for you to break it. Otherwise men have to go through all this bs about respecting boundaries

  • @asalane20
    @asalane20 Před 3 lety +8683

    Maybe just date adults with jobs..love it

    • @nunster1030
      @nunster1030 Před 3 lety +14

      @@ghoraxe9000 that's your problem, not theirs.

    • @Undivided_X
      @Undivided_X Před 3 lety +26

      @@ghoraxe9000 wow you've met and dated all independent women! Or enough to have an unbiased sample!

    • @avantikamathur2859
      @avantikamathur2859 Před 3 lety +24

      @@asherujudo7383 your view of life is very superficial. Also I don’t think you know enough of women to generalise anything. You don’t know anything about independent women, average looking women or good looking women. You based your philosophy on maybe the few women you met, but that’s hardly a res presentative set

    • @formeee53
      @formeee53 Před 3 lety +17

      ​@@ghoraxe9000 ah sorry forgot we were in the 1800s. don't worry, i'll just become a fucking pushover despite the fact i've fought my whole life to be seen as something other than a man's property, which you will never understand because you were born with the privilege to have absolutely everything you could ever need besides a woman who genuinely likes you.

    • @ghoraxe9000
      @ghoraxe9000 Před 3 lety +1

      @@formeee53 you obviously got the wrong idea from what i was trying to say ... the most significant issue with modern communication is that texting fails to convey tone... which is vital for accurately communicating with people ... leaving the message vulnerably to readers bias... or taking an idea out of context.... .. My words where aimed at all people .. not (not just women).. who possess too much pride ..a virtue that must be taken in moderation to maintain a good character

  • @nachogoatcheese1761
    @nachogoatcheese1761 Před 3 lety +2930

    Almost none of the dudes worried about gold diggers will ever be targeted by gold diggers.

    • @biazacha
      @biazacha Před 3 lety +112

      For starters nobody is "targeted" by a gold digger. The only reason a younger hotter chick is with those guys is finantial comfort and they're fully aware; they just like to pretend that's because they're alpha providers or any shit like that when in reality is a two-way agreement when one part brings the money and the other brings the looks.

    • @nachogoatcheese1761
      @nachogoatcheese1761 Před 3 lety +99

      @@biazacha "Some women like men with jobs and ambition".
      Wow. What horrible people.

    • @nachogoatcheese1761
      @nachogoatcheese1761 Před 3 lety +93

      @@biazacha and like, regardless, a "gold digger" aint that anyway. These days its used to just bully women into lowering their standards practically into a ditch but it used to mean a predatory woman after money, not a regular ass hot chick that wanted to make sure if she ruined her body to give a man kids she'd be taken care of.

    • @nachogoatcheese1761
      @nachogoatcheese1761 Před 3 lety +58

      Always trips me out how a younger woman marrying a moderately older guy with his shit together gets labeled with a nasty term that used to be reserved for a financial predator, but an older dude looking for someone hot and naive doesn't get a dirty term. What was described here seemed like a mutually agreed upon arrangement: one brings money, the other brings looks. Aka: no one is exploited, so there ain't any good reason to use a derogatory term for either of them.
      But hey, hon, if you go for losers BC you think they have a personality and you can otherwise fix them up, I wish you luck. BC odds are if you succeed in making a loser into something better, he'll trade you in later anyway. Dudes say they want "ride or die" but they just wanna ride you til you rust out.

    • @RassTheKing
      @RassTheKing Před 3 lety +40

      @@nachogoatcheese1761 Nah, "gold diggers" have always been young hot women that were being paid for their time by a man with money. They weren't the predators in that situation. Shit, most of the time they were groomed and then abused financially, emotionally and quite often physically. The mythical "gold digger" is just that, a myth. Women hunting men for their money has never been reality. Ever.

  • @harshitabhuyan8892
    @harshitabhuyan8892 Před 3 lety +2765

    I totally agree that guys who respect your boundaries and say "we don't have to do anything you don't want to" or "it's okay if you want to take it slow" is like the hottest thing ever. I remember my first boyfriend constantly pestering me about doing "stuff" and I eventually broke up with him because I was tired of the shit, i just wasn't ready and he thought i was a prude.
    Then i met my current boyfriend 2 years later, he is very understanding and respected my boundaries, he was game to take it slow, he teared up the first time we kissed and after a month or 2 i didn't want to take it slow anymore, i was all over him. 😂 We've been together for 5 years now and trust me being a decent human being and not pushing the girl goes a long way.

    • @casusbelli9225
      @casusbelli9225 Před 3 lety +24

      >he was game to take it slow, he teared up the first time we kissed and after a month or 2 i didn't want to take it slow anymore, i was all over him.
      Should have taken it even slower, tbh.

    • @danielhristov81
      @danielhristov81 Před 2 lety +27

      Last few times I took it slow with a girl, she got drunk and fucked a random guy before our fourth date. Last time I didn't took it too slow - she went mental because I kissed her on the mouth after the second date. I other words - please don't push your solo experience or preferences as a dating advice for men. You are basing it on the mindset of a single girl (you) and you are all random as fuck :)

    • @victoriapulcifer6218
      @victoriapulcifer6218 Před 2 lety +115

      @@danielhristov81 It's not a 'solo experience', all women want to have their boundaries respected. You think you know how to attract a woman better than literal women because of *your* 'solo expereinces'? Hypocritical, much? Tbh, it sounds to me that your last experiences went poorly because you never/rarely communicated to women that that you wanted to get physical to the point that they figured you weren't interested, and then later when you kissed another girl without her consent because of your pent up frustrations, she got rightfully upset at you. Communication and respect is key, and it reflects well on your character to always ask if you can kiss your partner, or how she feels about starting to have sex.
      And yeah, women should communicate what they want as well (learning effective communication doesn't really come from your parents or school, ironically), and some people are obviously not good partners if they choose to sleep around while in a relationship. But there's toxic partners for literally every race, gender, and sexual orientation out there. And yet here you are, acting like that sort of behavior is exclusive to women ('you are all random as fuck', once again hypocritically pushing an idea onto all women based on your 'solo' experience). I don't think you come across as a very respectful person to OP or the women in your past, which is at least partially contributing to your lack of success here.

    • @reyortsedlana1118
      @reyortsedlana1118 Před 2 lety +10

      @Megan O LMAO YES you said it so well

    • @nimbusws2566
      @nimbusws2566 Před 2 lety +10

      @Megan O shit at reading maps and, quite possibly, useless at asking for directions

  • @DinosourousRexx
    @DinosourousRexx Před 3 lety +2283

    “Now come inside my chocolate factory, it’s all for you!” 😂

    • @galiciaart
      @galiciaart Před 3 lety +53

      That was so dirty hahahahaha

    • @casusbelli9225
      @casusbelli9225 Před 3 lety +7

      I am yet to see a person dumb enough who would actually change their mind after that.
      No sex? Fine. But it doesn't mean that I will jump you in the next 5 minutes just because you suddenly want it.

    • @Illjwamh
      @Illjwamh Před 3 lety +53

      The dance is what really sold it.

    • @denisgomes4106
      @denisgomes4106 Před 3 lety +7

      She IS uncanny

    • @ashleyhoughton8592
      @ashleyhoughton8592 Před 2 lety +2

      @@casusbelli9225 that's exactly what happens.

  • @rogueguardian
    @rogueguardian Před 3 lety +669

    " I Lost it under an Ikea painting that I PURCHASED.... with a coupon" 😂😂😂😂

  • @mkcorder5453
    @mkcorder5453 Před 2 lety +655

    "there is nothing hotter than someone respecting your boundaries" put that on my gravestone

  • @heyysimone
    @heyysimone Před 3 lety +2141

    Bronzer should *not* be $90!

    • @milkyyyyway
      @milkyyyyway Před 3 lety +24

      Love her or hate her shes spitting straight facts

    • @Magnum-bh5no
      @Magnum-bh5no Před 3 lety

      Simoneheyy f.b.

    • @emirkudic3624
      @emirkudic3624 Před 2 lety

      Just don't buy it

    • @LoreCatan
      @LoreCatan Před 2 lety +14

      @@emirkudic3624 Thank you for your completely useless comment. Something is overpriced? Oh yeah, just don't buy it. Perfect sense.

    • @rambhaskar6728
      @rambhaskar6728 Před 2 lety +2

      You could just reduce the demand for it to reduce the prices.

  • @bexii786
    @bexii786 Před 3 lety +1505

    Literally so true when a guy says he'll wait it's such a turn on

    • @leiasart4610
      @leiasart4610 Před 3 lety +56

      or generally reassures you they're not just with you for sex etc., my boyfriend is like that and I've never wanted someone more lol

    • @simonenoli4418
      @simonenoli4418 Před 2 lety +20

      Been waiting 30 years. Should be a catch by now xD

    • @yournextdoorgamerwithgames2945
      @yournextdoorgamerwithgames2945 Před 2 lety +5

      Lol this is a lie. Men don’t listen to women.

    • @morbiddiathesis4428
      @morbiddiathesis4428 Před 2 lety +5

      @@yournextdoorgamerwithgames2945 gamers are overgrown children

    • @bastardbastard4998
      @bastardbastard4998 Před 2 lety +1

      @@simonenoli4418 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @McKay2
    @McKay2 Před 3 lety +451

    The “gobstopper test.” Lol, genius.

  • @aaronpeart
    @aaronpeart Před 3 lety +1509

    How is Taylor Tomlinson so young? She's got chops better than people 10 years her senior.

  • @feliciaadams7666
    @feliciaadams7666 Před 3 lety +561

    "Nothing hotter than someone respecting your boundries" Fuck yeah, it's really weird too. Like it's a weird feeling.

    • @yourboyphoenix3217
      @yourboyphoenix3217 Před 2 lety +9

      I know what you mean I started dating this girl who got out of a bad relationship and said is it alright if we take things slow I had no problem with that and just a few months later she asked if I wanted to meet up when I agreed she asked me to bring protection

    • @harleyquiinnnn
      @harleyquiinnnn Před 2 lety +1

      that's concerning if it feels weird to you

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 Před 2 lety +2

      Shouldn’t be. It should be expected and standard for someone to respect your boundaries.

    • @rukia5678
      @rukia5678 Před rokem +1

      @@harleyquiinnnn Something you've yet to learn always feel weird.

    • @sjonnieplayfull5859
      @sjonnieplayfull5859 Před rokem

      @@harleyquiinnnn it's not a passive game with 1 player. There are two people involved, each with their own feelings, emotions and desires. If the guy pushes for his desires, there is less (or no) room for the girl's, but that works the other way around too: when the girl enforces her ways, her desires to wait, there is less (or no) space for his desire to get moving. Not saying one is better than the other, just pointing out that a guy can be forced to do something he does not want either: waiting
      And since both men and women are bad at communucation in general and about sex in particular, the tension often remains and both sides are victims
      Not making an appology for guys forcing themselves onto women, no means no. Any guy who has one hand left should never force himself onto a woman, period
      Bashing guys for asking is a different story. A question can have no for an answer, and if he respects that (as one should), he should not suffer further backlash for talking about his desires
      TL:DR while respecting boundaries I can understand (that does not directly mean approve) when a guy who is forced (versus asked) to wait tries to coax the girl into moving towards him

  • @amalphia63
    @amalphia63 Před 3 lety +416

    No question is more arousing than “Are you ok with this?”

  • @murrayc9615
    @murrayc9615 Před 3 lety +923

    "Charlie, you WON! Now come inside my chocolate factory"
    We're all thinking the SAME THING, right?

    • @Wubbazt
      @Wubbazt Před 2 lety +40

      i'm really hoping that that joke was written with the intent of us thinking that, so that i feel better about having thought it.

    • @renel8964
      @renel8964 Před 2 lety +30

      "I got a golden ticket"🎵🤣

    • @MDiggetyHotDawg
      @MDiggetyHotDawg Před 2 lety +49

      You know that was the joke, right? Like, that’s literally the joke she was making. You’re thinking that BECAUSE that was the joke

    • @sebastianrutkowski7316
      @sebastianrutkowski7316 Před 2 lety +14

      but then she said:"it feels like a TOBLERONE"...

    • @nenamichelle
      @nenamichelle Před 2 lety +14

      The problem with this approach is that a lot of guys understand this. Lol. I guess they have to be genuinely willing to wait just in case, but a lot of the time they’re probably rewarded because we’re so used to men who are immediately scumbags. We don’t always recognize the manipulation…
      Also, I understand it isn’t always manipulative. However, I’m willing to bet it often is.

  • @zuhasajid900
    @zuhasajid900 Před 3 lety +223

    When she said 18 year olds who need kick start to eat dinner i felt that🤣🤣

  • @onlycrazy7258
    @onlycrazy7258 Před 3 lety +433

    wait.... That last comedian is over 37???? ESCUUUUSE ME girl

    • @nefigushki
      @nefigushki Před 3 lety +44

      42 in that special.

    • @hubbcap18
      @hubbcap18 Před 2 lety

      He's not my son, I'm gonna fuck him. Hilarious

  • @maevesmith6143
    @maevesmith6143 Před 3 lety +545

    Title: Jokes to save your terrible dating life
    Me: **clicks aggressively in commitment issues**

    • @sulagnapanda
      @sulagnapanda Před 3 lety +6

      How tf do i tell my bf im scared of commitment and thats y wanna break up...shits scary

    • @ariatysonbey6386
      @ariatysonbey6386 Před 3 lety +9

      Sulagna Panda From what I’ve learned, being honest is always the best policy. It leaves no room for the other person to be confused or question if it’s their fault, ect. It’s not what you say, but how you say it. Let him know you care about him, but this is how you feel. Just don’t pull a “it’s not you, it’s me” even if that is the case. That never sounds good 😅
      You weren’t asking me, but ya know, hope that helps!

  • @brontiq
    @brontiq Před 3 lety +516

    There are 2 types of guys who complain about gold diggers: 1. guys who don't have money, never had, never will and claim hot chicks reject them bcs they're not rich while in fact hot chicks reject them bcs they're loser trolls, 2.guys who constantly brag about their financial situation while completely failing to keep up with normal communication

    • @mstr293
      @mstr293 Před 2 lety +16

      3. Dating actual god-digging b***hes!

    • @shawnparsons248
      @shawnparsons248 Před 2 lety +6

      Sorry have to put an opinion in. I work hard and have money to spend. I have spent a lot on dates which I have enjoyed. The only true gold diggers around are the models on the arms of 90 year old rich men and trashy baby mamas that quit everything after having a child. When I mean quit everything I mean marriage too because they want the handouts and child support too, while their new bf is playing dad. Just my opinion but hey I pay that and still don't bitch about gold diggers. End of rant and have a good day.

    • @brontiq
      @brontiq Před 2 lety +29

      @@mstr293 ehm... That's #2. Guys who date gold diggers are usually guys bragging about their money or showing it off as much as possible... Like putting their car keys on a display so everyone could see it or start a conversion with I'm working on this thing that should make mi this much... While taking to some broke bimbo with big boobs and empty head... Cause they cannot handle a conversation with adult woman with her own money

    • @blast2686
      @blast2686 Před 2 lety +9

      @@brontiq what about men who don’t flaunt their money and end up dating a gold digger. What if these men think that the women dating him love him as a person and not because of his wealth. Not all gold diggers are easy to spot right away

    • @brontiq
      @brontiq Před 2 lety +26

      @@blast2686 then stop dating 20 smtg girls when you're in your 40s to boost your ego. Find a woman with a job and goals who doesn't need a kickstarter campaign to eat a dinner. I yes I know there's always an exception to the rule

  • @harshabdar6937
    @harshabdar6937 Před 2 lety +63

    Taylor's comic timing is perfect

  • @crownedclown_x
    @crownedclown_x Před 3 lety +277

    7:46 a man dating a young woman can be called a cradle-robber / cradle-snatcher which is factually not as cool as silver fox.

    • @thisCLUMSYgirl
      @thisCLUMSYgirl Před 3 lety +13

      Was called that once... not even a male.

    • @chesh1rek1tten
      @chesh1rek1tten Před 3 lety +35

      cradle robber is (usually) reserved for someone dating someone barely legal or with a she difference over 20 years or even more

    • @salonisingh9870
      @salonisingh9870 Před 3 lety +8

      I was thinking - sugar daddy

    • @caldehh
      @caldehh Před 3 lety +3

      That's what we can women who date (even slightly) younger men in Mexico....

    • @blacky_Ninja
      @blacky_Ninja Před 2 lety +6

      @@salonisingh9870
      Nah, sugar daddies have a kind of contract with their partner that both know of and agreed to, so you could say sugar babes are the consentual version of a gold digger.

  • @lel1160
    @lel1160 Před 3 lety +88

    i love jen kirkman so much she's got such lowkey chaotic energy

  • @yay-depression
    @yay-depression Před 2 lety +679

    “maybe stop dating 18 year olds who need a kickstarter campaign just to eat dinner…”
    yeah but that would require them to stop finding people who only just became legal attractive, and we *all* know they won’t do that

    • @platinum_noelle
      @platinum_noelle Před 2 lety +113

      Also, not dating such young women would make it harder to find women that are easier to manipulate.

    • @serpentinewolf7085
      @serpentinewolf7085 Před 2 lety +40

      Yep. Literally hit 18 with baby face and 40 year old men were hitting on me.

    • @yay-depression
      @yay-depression Před 2 lety +40

      @@serpentinewolf7085 that’s fucking awful 🤢 it starts so young too, they start being creepy at like 18 and it only gets worse as they get older

    • @morbiddiathesis4428
      @morbiddiathesis4428 Před 2 lety +5

      Sounds as though you're just jealous of women who are younger and more physically attractive than you.

    • @noellealdi881
      @noellealdi881 Před 2 lety +23

      @@morbiddiathesis4428 she literally looks 17

  • @thisisntsergio1352
    @thisisntsergio1352 Před 3 lety +37

    4:20 bro that little willy wonka dance was sickkk

  • @pardontheplay
    @pardontheplay Před 2 lety +36

    Ms. Tomlinson is wonderfully funny. Everyone, stay well wherever you find home.

  • @swallenjafari5974
    @swallenjafari5974 Před 2 lety +51

    “I’m using him for MY MONEY..bronzers shouldn’t be 90 dollars!”

  • @medaddict5694
    @medaddict5694 Před 3 lety +1082

    Prepare for the avalanche of comments from men saying women aren’t funny... when clearly they are just not the target audience. Good luck!

    • @kanedaku
      @kanedaku Před 3 lety +5

      So 2019. You suck, and not in the good way.

    • @silas6328
      @silas6328 Před 3 lety +35

      No, plenty of women are funny... just not these ones.

    • @kanedaku
      @kanedaku Před 3 lety +7

      @@silas6328 Hmm. You win this round. 😈

    • @mrknowitall9604
      @mrknowitall9604 Před 3 lety +32

      So in order for women to be funny there must be a large amount of women in the audience that can relate ? You just proved everyone's point as to why people say women aren't funny

    • @medaddict5694
      @medaddict5694 Před 3 lety +72

      No, you point isnt proven at all. Because all art is extremely subjetive. And just because you didn’t find it funny doesn’t mean anybody else does. So, I must ask, who made you the funny police?

  • @just-trying-my-best-everyday

    "I'm not using him for his money, I'm using him for _my_ money" never fails to get me.

  • @lede1810
    @lede1810 Před 3 lety +83

    "There's no word for a man dating someone 20 years younger."

    • @SpiceFoFanna
      @SpiceFoFanna Před 3 lety +2

      Cliche, especially if they're cheating or recently divorced

  • @bowmanator6
    @bowmanator6 Před rokem +18

    I think Taylor Tomlinson is one of the funniest comedians in the game.

  • @jozefya
    @jozefya Před 3 lety +618

    everyone: these comments are toxic
    me: *looks intensely for them but finds nothing*

    • @masoncampbell971
      @masoncampbell971 Před 3 lety +37

      Scroll down to the bottom or filter by newest first, they're there. I found 3 people moaning about how women aren't funny within seconds.🙄

    • @amylovemyart
      @amylovemyart Před 3 lety +15

      CZcams sorta makes comments that are heavily disliked very hard to fine.

    • @SU1_cidalDadbro
      @SU1_cidalDadbro Před 3 lety +13

      ...responses. the responses in the comments.

    • @cjgreen4331
      @cjgreen4331 Před 2 lety +1

      woah, nice beard bro

    • @jozefya
      @jozefya Před 2 lety

      @@cjgreen4331 hehe thx. That was back when i was 17, im 21 now so it's much more full (not that u asked 😅)

  • @accursedgaming5115
    @accursedgaming5115 Před 3 lety +150

    Finally some good comedy that’s not based on current events. Need more.

  • @bengerard9632
    @bengerard9632 Před 3 lety +71

    “Come inside my chocolate factory” doesn’t sit right with me😂

  • @Neptune_symbol0273
    @Neptune_symbol0273 Před 2 lety +27

    Last girls segment was really rich! It had layers of emotion.
    Very nice

  • @lesmortimers4791
    @lesmortimers4791 Před 3 lety +1532

    Cue the incels whose only contact with women is waifu body pillows

    • @MoonlightRose1000
      @MoonlightRose1000 Před 3 lety +42

      Found him 👆

    • @MoonlightRose1000
      @MoonlightRose1000 Před 3 lety +33

      Uh oh now he's going to tell me I'm fat and was never good enough anyways.

    • @kanedaku
      @kanedaku Před 3 lety +2

      Incels as an insult? Okay then battyman.

    • @Wgirl99
      @Wgirl99 Před 3 lety +52

      Simon T in what context would calling someone “involuntarily celibate” be a positive thing or not an insult?

    • @kanedaku
      @kanedaku Před 3 lety +1

      @@Wgirl99 You do not understand what using the term incel means. Message me in a years time after you grow a little bit.

  • @cynthia9919
    @cynthia9919 Před 2 lety +60

    that was true asf, theres nothing hotter than someone respect your own bounderies, i totally agree with her, if someone respect that much of me i would totally change my mind

  • @kunwarps6931
    @kunwarps6931 Před 3 lety +8

    6:48 "-Oh,oh, oh,oh", the way she said it. I can't control my laughter.

  • @ruchithapeddinti350
    @ruchithapeddinti350 Před 3 lety +19

    Taylor and her comedy 🤣🤣🤣
    She’s my favourite

  • @veronica_sawyer_1989
    @veronica_sawyer_1989 Před rokem +6

    4:18 as someone named Charlie this was strangely heart-warming

  • @gregorycudmore225
    @gregorycudmore225 Před 3 lety +29

    my gramps was called a silver fox, but not for that reason (my grandma is one year younger). He was a silver fox because he got silver hair (silver, not gray) much earlier then most, and he looked GOOD with it. My mom looked at my grandpa and thought: if this is what this guy turns into, i am willing to invest in him!

  • @lindsaymorrison7519
    @lindsaymorrison7519 Před 3 lety +103

    There is a word for it though. Cradle robber. No one uses it though.

    • @supimpanda2312
      @supimpanda2312 Před 3 lety +6

      Yeah my grandmother called me that when I dated a guy a year younger than me

    • @lamipurpure7992
      @lamipurpure7992 Před 3 lety +11

      That's more of a gender neutral kinda thing though

    • @youreokay7888
      @youreokay7888 Před 3 lety +1

      I was 4 months older than my boyfriend and he called me that 😂
      My current guy is 4 years older and I call him boomer lol

  • @CA-bw9vw
    @CA-bw9vw Před 2 lety +19

    She's ON POINT about wanting to sleep with a guy after he respects me not wanting to do it...yet. If he's sincerely into me and willing to wait a bit more, he won't have to wait long. If the guy sulks or falls off the face of the earth, I immediately lose all sexual attraction because how pathetic is that? Does no one else ever want to sleep with you that you have to date a person you're not interested in JUST to get laid?

  • @isabeltoledo2947
    @isabeltoledo2947 Před 3 lety +21

    Jen Kirkman sounded like Anna faris for a second there 😂😂😂

  • @AlMoSiCe210
    @AlMoSiCe210 Před 2 lety +20

    The fact that I genuinely can't tell if she meant "Come inside my chocolate factory 😂" or "Cum inside my 'chocolate factory'😉" is BRILLIANT! 🤣🤣

  • @kimberlydebold772
    @kimberlydebold772 Před 2 lety +7

    There is nothing hotter than someone who respects your boundaries

  • @alexandramcleod6245
    @alexandramcleod6245 Před 2 lety +18

    That Charlie and the chocolate factory bit had me rolling on the floor

  • @enzomthethwa5861
    @enzomthethwa5861 Před 2 lety +9

    I wanna see the rest of the last one. That cougar joke was hilarious! What happens on the rest of the date???

  • @blast2686
    @blast2686 Před 2 lety +61

    I’m a man and found this hilarious AF

  • @rakailw4836
    @rakailw4836 Před 3 lety +50

    There’s nothing hotter than someone respecting your boundaries but half the time they don’t actually mean it and they’re going to find someone easier or try to pressure you later

    • @tovah8841
      @tovah8841 Před 3 lety +12

      Smart women get rid of them

    • @andreasrasmussen6362
      @andreasrasmussen6362 Před 2 lety

      its hard not getting what you want, some dont take no very well. most times it goes away with maturity and insight.

    • @drizzle452
      @drizzle452 Před 2 lety +6

      Would you prefer someone genuinely not attracted to you? Would you prefer someone not want to have sex with you, and “mean” it? Would you prefer to date someone where the “boundaries” are never expanded? If so, it sounds like you want a friend, not ready for a relationship, or haven’t found the right guy.
      As an older man I can’t imagine how messed up men are nowadays, but understand this-a man who is trying to respect your wishes is trying to respect you because he likes you. You’re two different human beings with different experiences and expectations.

  • @JimnasticsGaming
    @JimnasticsGaming Před 2 lety +5

    This is awesome. As a guy I really enjoyed these jokes, they’re fun and ring true, and also allow us guys to understand the world of women better.

  • @darcybhaiwala7057
    @darcybhaiwala7057 Před 3 lety +13

    Taylor speaks my soul

  • @sunndnguy30
    @sunndnguy30 Před 2 lety +16

    I laughed WAY to hard at the chocolate factory joke.

  • @Restrictedeightteen
    @Restrictedeightteen Před 3 lety +121

    Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger .. 😂

  • @KayZee1957
    @KayZee1957 Před 3 lety +8

    Jen Kirkman for the win.

  • @aellalee4767
    @aellalee4767 Před 3 lety +115

    Omg lol. I had that horniness after my first breakup. It's intense!

    • @rianweston-dodds6247
      @rianweston-dodds6247 Před 3 lety +3

      Is this a woman thing?

    • @josipa7146
      @josipa7146 Před 3 lety +5

      The struggle is real, me too

    • @Magnum-bh5no
      @Magnum-bh5no Před 3 lety +4

      @@josipa7146 lemme know if u need help with that 🧐

    • @s.beccari4678
      @s.beccari4678 Před 2 lety +8

      Divorced and can confirm the horny. It's kinda awful. It's like it woke up from a coma and is trying to get caught up with the time s...

    • @Magnum-bh5no
      @Magnum-bh5no Před 2 lety +1

      Any of you ladies need a release just lemme know, I'm ready/willing/able to meet and exceed your need for a steed 😘 I'm your man 😋

  • @madisonm.4535
    @madisonm.4535 Před 3 lety +219

    CZcams Reccomendations: Stand Up Jokes to Save Your Terrible Dating Life
    Well I mean I thought my dating life was going pretty well! Gee thanks CZcams!!! Nobody asked for your opinion CZcams!!!

  • @nanarosex3
    @nanarosex3 Před rokem +3

    the tone of “date adults. with jobs.” SHJSSK

  • @Mmm-jv3ty
    @Mmm-jv3ty Před 3 lety +29

    I love Taylor Tomlinson!

  • @michelnguyen9274
    @michelnguyen9274 Před 3 lety +24

    The timing of the algorithm to recommend this video after I just had to cut a guy out of my life for crossing boundaries.

  • @toobasaurus23
    @toobasaurus23 Před 3 lety +31

    Love these ladies.

  • @pablot-r9402
    @pablot-r9402 Před rokem +4

    Taylor is way better than the others. Unlike the other two, Taylor can also flip crowd work really well.

    • @iworshipgaysandsatan6822
      @iworshipgaysandsatan6822 Před rokem

      Taylor sacrifices being more funny tho, she’s about being relatable and not sacrificing generalities for personal comedy. She says stuff that appeals to the masses and is hard to disagree or not relate to. Jen is my fave bc she appeals to darker sensibilities and isn’t afraid to cut off relatability when she wants her unique voice heard.

  • @shadowboxing7029
    @shadowboxing7029 Před 2 lety +40

    Nothing hotter than a dude who respects your boundaries.

  • @nyc757
    @nyc757 Před 2 lety +1

    Excellent! Especially the first comedian! 🏆

  • @tianag2136
    @tianag2136 Před 3 lety +106

    this comment section is absolutely disgraceful, I see guys complaining that they don't have advantages as males and I just think to myself "have yall been living under a rock?"

    • @liligman
      @liligman Před 3 lety +8

      In the dating world go ahead and list some of these advantages you perceive we have. The grass is always greener

    • @nachogoatcheese1761
      @nachogoatcheese1761 Před 3 lety +1

      Never too late to drop one on them

    • @nachogoatcheese1761
      @nachogoatcheese1761 Před 3 lety +11

      @@liligman no one judges a man's value by his looks, naivety, and ability to fake not being in pain while being handed a fuckload of it and blamed for everyone else's.
      Even IF you only get valued for the size of your wallet and shlong, that is objectively way way easier. You just imagine every wrinkled hotdog being chucked at us is "easier" because y'all think crap like temporary embarrassment is on par with physical and emotional violence, and... Its not.

    • @luzhalley
      @luzhalley Před 2 lety +10

      @@liligman you have a lot less chance of being killed by your date :)

    • @kenztune1956
      @kenztune1956 Před 2 lety +3

      @@luzhalley YES. EXACTLY.

  • @Neelay98
    @Neelay98 Před 3 lety +191

    Ha I love watching straight people talking about relationships. you lot are crazy XD

    • @KVK1320
      @KVK1320 Před 3 lety +17

      Ikr? It’s so...odd hearing about straight relationships now

    • @aaliya5698
      @aaliya5698 Před 3 lety +11

      Why what’s the difference

    • @FlyingStarsANIMATES
      @FlyingStarsANIMATES Před 3 lety +7

      I'm not sure why I'm here, as a very ace person, but ty for a relatable comment.

    • @renaekalish1326
      @renaekalish1326 Před 3 lety +16

      @@aaliya5698 from what I’ve seen they put up with more toxic behavior from there partners (not saying this is a fact this is just what I’ve seen) so it’s funny that things get as bad as it does

    • @casusbelli9225
      @casusbelli9225 Před 3 lety +10

      @@renaekalish1326 Can same the same about gay couples, though. There was constantly some weird drama involved in the male ones and for the lesbian ones there are domestic violence statistics.

  • @MaryJJones-ge7iz
    @MaryJJones-ge7iz Před 3 lety +24

    Third girl looks like Kate Hudson

  • @Ronmcdon-mb7bh
    @Ronmcdon-mb7bh Před 3 lety

    10/10 absolutely amazing!

  • @KnarfStein
    @KnarfStein Před rokem +1

    4:27 I love both scenarios. 😼

  • @anjalibaskar6255
    @anjalibaskar6255 Před 3 lety +24

    whitney is dropping truths left and right 💋‼️

  • @MoonlightRose1000
    @MoonlightRose1000 Před 3 lety +15

    5:15 I lived this shit.

  • @ianleary5780
    @ianleary5780 Před rokem +1

    “Nothing hotter than someone respecting your boundaries,” except Chad disrespecting them.

    • @Viod753
      @Viod753 Před 7 měsíci

      Yeah...sure......

  • @carollobo4089
    @carollobo4089 Před 3 lety +8

    This was wonderful!

  • @nononsense5182
    @nononsense5182 Před 3 lety +3

    He was totally honest and she excepted it...you go girl

  • @egardner304
    @egardner304 Před 2 lety +6

    When the last woman was saying that there's no equivalent male term for cougar, my mind thought, "sugar daddy."

    • @actioninmyphannypack
      @actioninmyphannypack Před 2 lety +1

      That’s only for when they aren’t really dating but the guy will buy the girl stuff and they might fuck occasionally

    • @missytizon4477
      @missytizon4477 Před 2 lety +4

      Yeah I agree with the other person. Sugar daddy is for money, cougars aren't.

    • @blast2686
      @blast2686 Před 2 lety +1

      @@missytizon4477 but it’s still a term used for older men who date younger women

    • @amish613
      @amish613 Před 2 lety +1

      Its not equivalent term for 'cougar', its sugar mommy. Well, two things are different. Sugar daddy/mommy and cougar ain't the same. Cougar men are called silver fox but could also be called cradle snatcher. No one uses it. Never seen in any movies ever or real life people using this term.

  • @hannahhillig9970
    @hannahhillig9970 Před rokem

    thanks for the closed caption I have a hearing loss and I really appreciate it

  • @smokingbull15
    @smokingbull15 Před 2 lety +1

    These ladies were funny af!!!!

  • @Gym4youu
    @Gym4youu Před 3 lety +7

    Taylor ❤️

  • @ThoseNeonGummyBears
    @ThoseNeonGummyBears Před 3 lety +58

    None of this was good “advice” for dating life except the second girl with her chocolate factory.

    • @ThoseNeonGummyBears
      @ThoseNeonGummyBears Před 3 lety +1

      @MsI2I not really... I look at it from a hypergamous stand point, so the joke wasn’t for me...but to each’s own I guess...

  • @Red_in_Mt.Silver
    @Red_in_Mt.Silver Před 3 lety +13

    that is one lucky drummer

  • @nl8776
    @nl8776 Před 3 lety +6

    Yessss go Whitney!!!!!

  • @sayrewilkin-dalby619
    @sayrewilkin-dalby619 Před 3 lety +18

    I just realized at 32 I'm not considered young anymore.

    • @omg9261
      @omg9261 Před 3 lety +3

      Same, sister! I'm 30 and I don't want to realize I should actually relate to those jokes 🙈

    • @lemon1657
      @lemon1657 Před 2 lety +3

      That's the bullshit double standard of society so ignore it. You're only as young as you feel and only as old as you allow yourself to be. Enjoy this decade because you have plenty of time to be old in your 50s.

    • @TokioTE
      @TokioTE Před 2 lety +1

      @@lemon1657 exactly! And 50s isn't even old. I know people in their 70s even who aren't old :)

    • @lemon1657
      @lemon1657 Před 2 lety +2

      @@TokioTE Oh of course, it applies for any age. I just meant 50 is considerably older than 30 is to 20 so she shouldn't feel "old" yet.

  • @user-rb9uc8rz6y
    @user-rb9uc8rz6y Před 3 lety +56

    you won! come in to my chocolate factory! lol

  • @changveronicas
    @changveronicas Před 3 lety

    love to see it 😂

  • @rileypaigemc7018
    @rileypaigemc7018 Před 3 lety +1

    Literally just watched this twice in a row 😂

  • @wdwerker
    @wdwerker Před 2 lety +4

    “Get inside my chocolate factory “ He really did find the golden ticket !

  • @littlemermaid8638
    @littlemermaid8638 Před 2 lety +8

    3:51 she's right.... Me right now 😂 we're dating and I told him that I'm not in a hurry about losing my virginity even though I'm nearly 20 (he's 2 years older and lost it a long time ago) and if that's a problem for him then - - there's the door and feel free to go :).... He just said "I can wait for the right girl"... I can tell you, my jaw dropped and I was like "what the.... that's hot 😂😂" 😂 😂

    • @GottEddy
      @GottEddy Před rokem

      And how was it going?

    • @littlemermaid8638
      @littlemermaid8638 Před rokem

      @@GottEddy We're officially in a relationship for 4 months now and I'm very happy with him. He's very nice and always wants me to be comfortable when we're exploring new things concerning sex. I couldn't have wished for a more understanding partner :)

    • @GottEddy
      @GottEddy Před rokem

      @@littlemermaid8638 That's great to see, best of wishes to both of you

    • @littlemermaid8638
      @littlemermaid8638 Před rokem

      @@GottEddy Thank you very much! All the best to you as well :)

  • @liannapfister8255
    @liannapfister8255 Před rokem

    It was the sitting on a fire hydrant but for me 😂

  • @madelyn9985
    @madelyn9985 Před 9 měsíci

    "NOTHING IS HOTTER THAN A GUY RESPECTING YOU BOUNDIES" Like, 'what? no, i didnt say i wasnt ready i said take ur pants off :)'

  • @hanneswurstbrot6902
    @hanneswurstbrot6902 Před 2 lety +10

    there is a difference between "respecting boundaries" and knowing that this is a test and just say what you want to hear. mister "respect her boundaries" guy will say ok if you say no and you will feel weird, that he isn´t go further, cause he is actually "respecting your boundaries"

  • @bullithedjames937
    @bullithedjames937 Před 3 lety +3

    I've had a couple try digging on me. Lmmfao I'm broke..
    LOL

  • @gloriousgearhead5367
    @gloriousgearhead5367 Před rokem

    “You guys took it all and refuse to share” 😅

  • @kar3n35
    @kar3n35 Před 2 lety

    4:40 omg this is wisdom.😅
    This so true.

  • @Trysaratop
    @Trysaratop Před 3 lety +12

    First and third girl were spot on and hilarious

  • @raynesorrells1245
    @raynesorrells1245 Před 3 lety +14

    Taylor is 100% on that one

  • @fidelrodriguez7964
    @fidelrodriguez7964 Před 6 měsíci

    Taylor Tomlinson ,she is so good

  • @6abhisekbackup9
    @6abhisekbackup9 Před 3 lety +2

    6:46 the OH got me

  • @rayruckus4446
    @rayruckus4446 Před 2 lety +4

    37 is not that old. I don't think you pass the cougar line till you hit your mid-50s

  • @analuizadefigueiredosouza7851

    They're great. So good when women insert gender related critics in their stand-up shows

  • @stepanserdyuk4589
    @stepanserdyuk4589 Před 2 lety +2

    Okay, the chocolate factory joke was golden.

  • @jyapp4489
    @jyapp4489 Před 2 lety +1

    The opening drums being a parody of PHub's intro was hilarious, I had to do a double take because I thought it wasn't real for a sec.