Ali Wong On Keeping Your Taco Intact | Netflix Is A Joke
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- čas přidán 31. 07. 2019
- Ali Wong's got a story to tell about a woman, a baby, and carne asada.
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Ali Wong On Keeping Your Taco Intact | Netflix Is A Joke
/ netflixisajoke - Zábava
"You can't make a horror movie in only 5 minutes."
... _tHeY WeRe WrOnG._
tHey ArE Wong
You mean Wong! 😅😝
The weren't Wong !
Oh honey, that horror movie probably was probably made in about 45 seconds. S#*+ be crazy.
I'm 24 and not old enough to watch this.
ain't we all. couldn't even make it till the end of the video!
but no ones gives a shit about you
Marlon Munanga I’m much younger 🤣🤣
I'm 24 and I concur
Bro I'm 30 and I was turning it down 😂
When my boyfriend asks about children, I shall refer him to this.
Also refer him to Tiffany's and Zales for that diamond ring. If he's gonna be making wifey requests he's gotta upgrade you to wife first you feel me. Know your place. You are a queen. Don't settle for less.
Gen Valencia LOL!
@@ojitosrodriguez114 I'd very much rather have an intact nether region than a silly diamond. ;)
good idea 😂
@@ojitosrodriguez114 YES
I've never loved my birth control as much as I do now
Your profile looks like a sponsorship to what you just said in a good way lol
After i had birth all my family asks if we will have another baby. Love my birth control
Same i took it for granted until i watched this
I never loved being an ace as much.
I swear by, I swear by it💃
Renewing birth control ASAP after watching this
Why you need to have kids before 25.
Juxtaposed1Nmotion aaaah savage 😂😂😂
Lol, I'm 32 and I stopped having sex altogether 7 years ago. Best decision I ever made. I don't want kids and I don't want to be on birth control. I value my solitude and freedom. Not everybody wants the same things in life. Keep that birth control going, girl 😉
Miranda Daugherty 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@melissaCgreenwood preach!
I don’t know why I clicked on this thinking Ali Wong actually had tips for keeping tacos intact 😭😭😭
I didn't even see the title and looked back up after I saw ur comment lol
I read it as tattoos...I was very confused for a bit there.
I legit did as well
AHAHAHAH
🤣🤣🤣
The fact that she's done two shows like this is insane. She wins.
She needs more shows
For real!
Me: I dont wanna get pregnant
Most people: why not? it's a beautiful thing
Me: I already have anger issues
Izzy Cast Ha ha ha! I love this!!!! I feel you! Same here.
@Qurat ul Ain oh it was a joke that's what i tell them to go away. Most of my reasons are different. But you are right.
fucking same omfg
They are lying.
Same 🤣
I gained ENORMOUS amount of KNOWLEDGE in gynaecology in 5mins
But NOT how to SPELL gynecology. But GOOD use of CAPITALIZATION.
Ye didn't
Matt Hudson yeah nah it’s spelt right
waaaay more than I ever wanted to know ..
Its more obstetrics than gynecology
i came in as an innocent child to this vifeo ... and left a horrified man with PTSD
Welcome to womanhood!
Now you know why you should thank your mother.
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This is nothing once you are a parent lol I cut the umbilical cord, helped my partner with all the bleeding, grabbing towels, witch hazel, wipes.
Kiran this is exactly why we need better sex Ed and health classes in public schools, this happens to half of the world’s population and is likened to “PTSD” when the other half of the population finds out. 🙄
🤣 the first time I saw this was a week after giving birth.
It made me feel better to know I wasn't alone. And horrified that this was normal and no one had EVER bothered to warn me.
.NO ONE.
nobody does your vulva go back to normal?
DOES IT GO BACK TO NORMAL 😂
@@bunnybaby975 Not always, one lady told me hers looked like punched lasagne. Having a baby wrecks your vagina and your vulva. There are also other complications as well tearing etc. They just don't teach this in sex ed, everything is so clean and neat. Later on some women have things tightened by surgery.
Shiiiiit. That sounds scary. I wonder if many women think it only happens to them. Also, whether any prior surgery have other side effects.
Good lord, yes, some honesty in sex-ed would be nice!
Growing up teachers and parents were always like "the birth canal opens & closes like a garage door" but not until i'm an adult with internet access is it revealed that vaginas/vulvas/the whole area often gets completely shredded apart, and may or may not ever be normal again!
Eeek, not for me
I watched this special while running on a treadmill. As a woman who also had a cesarean after a failed trial of labour, I just about broke my neck crying and laughing while watching this. Truth.
You weren't on a treadmill.
I love her, but I don't think I want to be pregnant.
Relatable, have a nice day.
Renne Barry same🤣
She scared me as well...and am a man
Me neither...but then again I've also worked in customer service for a better part of my life and believe me that'll get you to weld your legs closed
No kidding, I don't want more people around me 😝 If I want kids I'll adopt. I even stopped having sex to avoid any mistakes. No pregnancy for me!
Best contraception ever- this video!
I’ve never laughed so much while being terrified at the same time. This woman holds a different kind of power.
i love how important messages she has between her jokes
She does it the right way, she has a rule where you have to keep the audience laughing and save any social or political issues for a TED talk
Why did I have to see this while pregnant with my first baby. I'm laughing outside. Terrified inside.
Epidural. Stock up on diapers for adults (your panties is going to look like a war zone for a couple of weeks), and plan to stay horizontal for the first few weeks after. Then you'll probably be o.k.
You are an effing queen and should be treated as such after birth, let others deal with everything else.
Good luck!
You’ll be fine. Not everyone goes through that :)
Pray for her yall
You probably won't go into labor for 72 hours.
We need an update you and your baby ok sis?
oh god my gut is literally busting open out of laughter, just like that lady she was talking about lmao
*figuratively busting open
ok so we’re doing this today. from merriam-webster, literally (and i’m using it the way you want this time) the second definition of the word: “used in an exaggerated way to emphasize a statement or description that is not literally true or possible”.
sit down, garrett.
I’m being completely honest: when I heard this piece for the first time, I physically screamed and begged Ali to stop because I was flailing, crying, and almost not breathing for a solid 12 minutes.
Haha, me too 😄my chest and abdomen are still hurting from the laughter
and....i didn't laugh even once. Here...pull my finger.
@@dang2443 Congratulations! 👌🏼
@@JeremyMYG That made zero sense, but apparently you're pretty pleased with yourself.
@@dang2443 I’m congratulating you for not laughing once. Have a wonderful weekend!
"...to make sure that the carne asada didn't fall out of the taco..." I am deceased after hearing that!
“...and become nachos on the floor.”
So I underrated
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Now I'm scared to have children 😂
So am I
Same.
Freaking terrified. This year I saw some twitter pics taken during the labor of a mom of twins and, girls... Her belly was all green and purple, like the skin was dying. She was stading up anf you could see the the increase of pain in the pictures. The last one you could almost hear her screaming. I was legit TERRIFIED.
Never gonna do it!!
Good, this is how we save the planet all you bitches just don't have kids
All that money and Netflix couldn't afford a cordless microphone?
Adarsh Kurup 😂
Not as reliable I'm guessing
Comedians love wired mic's
That’s how the rich stay rich...
I did few stand ups and I must tell you, microphone with cords and stands are a great comfort when you are not landing on jokes. It provides a great deal comfort. You can actually see how much a comic is nervous just by looking at how they handle mic.
Loved how beautifully she packaged such an important aspect of becoming a mother but really not being able to talk about it to anyone 👌 of course garnished with humor
Yes, the beauty of having your genitalia mutilated.. What a magical experience.
0:16 I like how the entire crowd just oofed.
I was hungry so I clicked when I saw taco... Well, at least I'm not hungry anymore 😳
K R 😂😂😂
I'm sure I saw Amy Schumer at the back taking notes.
I reckon "get pregnant" is on the top of the list
Or taking jokes
@@the_gratefulgamer honey......you're very late, very ignorant, and yet very enthusiastic with this joke. not sure whether to be rolling in laughter or just sad for you
@@katharineforsyth1870 I commented a week after the op comment. And then you commented at me a week later.🤔 If this ain't the used tampon calling the koolaid red. Gtfoh 🤡
This is gold
Amy Schumer took away my belief that talking about vaginas could be funny. I have just regained it.
Same!! Fuck Amy Schumer, she's fucking terrible lol. Ali Wong actually has some really great material in her standup, rather than just feminist propaganda and all men are evil at every turn.
Oh look at you .aren't you proud of all the boyzz liking your comment?You know, you start pleasing them on the internet and you have no idea what you can achieve in life thanks to a good tongue. Keep it up sister!
@@fenecofeneco19 Do you hate women, or something? You sound a bit... Tight.
@@fenecofeneco19 Really? The only one here writing comments to appeal to men is you. Sorry you had to find out like this!
She's not funny at all
Every word that comes out of Ali Wong's mouth when she goes into that whisper-y delivery is like the audible equivalent of being teased with a flick knife.
I LOVE IT!!
I love Ali. I'm pregnant right now, and she cheers my soul.
Sorry to hear, my condolences to your 🐈
Mark Silla lol
RIP pussy
... Dude sorry wanna be supportive. I also had a baby. That shit was the most horrible shit i will ever go for. Id rather be shot. Im not having any more kids
I'm pregnant with baby #2 this is gonna be fun again.😂
“YOU CANT LITIGATE LIKE THAT” i love her 😭😭
A queef that dried out my eyeballs 😭😭😭😂
I'm 38 but it seems I just saw something above my age grade. PG50 maybe? 🤔🤦♂️
the soft blow at the end, when the air is not that pressured at the end... LOLS
That "Dried out my eyeballs!!" Bit slayed me😂
Her voice modulation and acting is on point. Loved her stand up
You hear the audience at 0:19, they felt that pain of 72 hours in labor. Even the guys 🤣🤣
Oh no, that’s Wong on so many levels ...
I approve this message 😎
BOAH NATION I too approve
Actually that's Wong on a whole different level
so vewy wong... tsk tsk
"...become nachos on the floor." LOL!!
For the record: In the men’s room it’s eyes forward and no talking
1st rule is one urinal buffer, if possible.
2nd rule is don’t look.
@@patrickgarneau6095 rule 3: If there is no buffer, you fucking wait
Unless you're in highschool. Dudes for some reason just want to talk and shit.
@@st4r3_me I understand the 1st and 2nd ones but do you actually wait if there's no buffer I'm genuinely curious
I'm glad i watch this after i gave birth
pinching them together? lol
She is hilarious...the sound effects had me literally in tears. Thank you Ali for not glossing over child birth. Love her 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
What a legend. She needs more love.
That boat has sailed.
NamedForANightmare- All she does is talk about pussy to cover her *lack* of talent. She's amusing(like watching homeless people) but FUNNY is the goal. Nobody besides *you* will EVER call this hack a legend.
NamedForANightmare factz🤣
@Shockheadd45 don't bother, they're just sad because they never made it in life, besides this asshat has been being an asshole in other comments talking about how Ali isn't a good comedian, like i said, they are just upset because they never made it in life
@@CARTOONIVERSE1 how sad is it to be a pathetic man who hasn't achieved anything with his life and hates women? lol get a life dude
I saw this young Woman in SF 20 years ago and knew she was going places. She's always been hilarious.
If Power Rangers is rebooted again, Ali Wong should be cast as Rita Repulsa.
AHHHHH AFTER 10000 YEARS I'M FREEEEEE!!!! IT'S TIME TO CONQUER EARTH!
Oh good call 👍
Agreed.
OMG YESSSS !!!! 😂😂😂
@@shizukagozen777 Haha, she could pull it off!
1 this is why i am childfree
2 paid maternity leave in the UK is statutory for permanent workers - yes our women got angrier sooner
...and probably nobody started yelling "THAT'S SOCIALISM!!" as soon as you (rightfully) demanded some rights and social security!
@@alessandroarcuri209 How about the father pays you leave instead of your coworkers, ya commie mooch. If you can't afford the kid then don't.
Theeeere you go.
@@TheJeremyKentBGross my thoughts exactly. It's not your jobs fault or responsibility that you got pregnant. Keeping your job available for you for 6 to 8 weeks and paying a temp to replace you is enough.
Yeah, you guys will be an Islamic country soon enough. Keep getting more liberal and you’ll lose everything
Some parents need to send this to their teenage daughters to avoid earlier pregnancy problems 🤭
Or maybe they can talk to their kids about safe sex....
Where I live we have some of the best sex ed in the world and also some of the lowest teen pregnancy numbers. Just scaring them will not help them in avoiding getting pregnant
And don’t forget about sons..
@@sarahkorindie6298 Most importantly....
@@nadiar.4638 we should teach teens to not have children and enjoy their life without it until they become adults
@@desertmoonlee6631 how do you intend to "teach teens not to have sex"? Lol good luck with that. God doesn't have an issue with it either, how old was Mary again? Sure she wasn't sleeping with Joseph,,,,
Moral of the story:
Pregnancy is not worth the hassle. Schedule an appointment at your nearest clinic for some birth control yo.
OMG!!!! That was so much funnier than I thought it was gonna be.
Omfg! I live her! I've had 3 kids! It's not easy! Maternity leave should be automatically available in all states. It is in mine
Maternity leave should be a law everywhere. Woman who just gave birth have a risk of bleeding and many other health problems.
@@nanana6477 absofuckinglotely!! We create another human, but go back to work please, Tupac was right, we have to start healing are women, caring for our women
It blew my mind that America doesn't have universal maternity leave when I first heard about it. Even my 3rd country treasure maternity leaves.
I'm not one or two tears, but actual crying laughing. This is the funniest thing I have ever heard 😭😭😂😂😂😂
"and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out.."
I lost it!! jaaajjajjjajajaajajaja
2:12 I don’t know what man told you that but we don’t do that in the restroom 🤣
jay alterEgo we may take peaks but YOU DONT ACKNOWLEDGE IT
we do...
I make it a point to avoid meat gazing while I urinate. If I catch a dude gazing at mine, I tell him to stop looking at my dicks. Usually good for a laugh.
Yes we do
Keep your eyes on your own work, Superchief.
ali wong never disappoint
I'm so glad the PSA for birth control is so effective now
I was there when they filmed this and she was hilarious and I just couldn't agree more with her. I was cry laughing.
Her delivery is EVERYTHING. She’s my favorite
Drektek you are handsome
jian chen aw, thanks :-)
My mother loves taco, I said. She’d love this video, I said.
Did she? lol
What happened
It's crazy how she had to talk like this not knowing how things will go when her time comes to be in labor 😂😂
Reasons why I’m adopting:
1, this video
2, this video
3, this video
Oh YeAh AlSo I pLaN tO mArRy A wOmAn So
Love that sis!
"the carne asada wouldn't fall out of the taco" ohh lord... I'm latino and let me tell you that shit is phacked up.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Honey, Let's Get Front Row Seats" 😲
Ive probably watched this at least 15 times and EVERY time my eyes just water from so much laughing... Ali is hilarious 😂
Where has Ali Wong been all my life? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm off to binge every gig she's ever done!
She is lit. 🤣
I have watched this special so many times. Still makes me cry every time. Yup. No kids for me.
“Meat curtains” 🤣🤣🤣
My mom had 3 kids and I’m the middle child...I feel hella bad.😂😩
my Mum had 9...the last one in 70's...pain relief consisted of mothballs and hot towels...she was the strongest woman I have ever known...thanks Mum
Legendary performer. Absolutely unique creature, I friggin' love her work!! Grandiose! Very funny =D
Damn I love this channel and how it constantly represents talent. Yeah most is comedy but we are learning about artists we never heard of and its amazing,. I really hope one day my content makes it to such channels
Not gonna lie, you had us in the first half
The subtitles for the end of this bit just say "Imitates queefing".
When something can be so funny and so horrifying at the same time
1:24 - That dude covering his eyes has my respect.
Wish I would have seen this 20 years ago 😂 I’ve never been more thankful for the csections 🤣
"you look at what happened to ME!"...i felt that shit
What a charming woman 😅😅😅
Literally crying from laughter. She kills me 😂😂💀
I like how she changes her voice during her routine 😂
I laughed so hard, I woke up my dog and maybe my neighbor’s dog.
“I told her that she turned into two dudes” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Literally just had this happened to me. Emergency c section after a crazy labor. Made me think of this..
Love you Ali - it’s like your telling my story and the gas does escape when ur trying to hold all your lady bits while trying to laugh ~ good times ~ good times 😬
LOL I ALMOST DIED AT THE FART
I cannot see through my tears I am laughing so hard 😂😂😂
OMG I'm DYING! I love this woman🤣😭
OMG that quiff joke made me laugh I got a cramp in my side
When she did the queef part 😂 i fucking lost it at the noises 😂😂😂😂😂
My goodness she is funny. Oh goodness. This was belly laughter funny. I started crying when she said, "Look at this..." I really had to put the video on pause.
I want to see her friends reaction at this 😂😂
"so the carne asada wouldn't fall out of the taco and become nachos on the floor", LMAO!!
"Cookoo for 'Coochie' Puffs" aww almost... 😂
Netflix is No Joke, thank you for posting the funnies via CZcams
You don't know how much you helped me with my PTSD from military service and a bit childhood trauma, I am living and loving it all,
Please keep bring all the funny,
Thank you for your kindness in service and posting these, you got a friend, thanks
The queef 🤣🤣
I came here for Tacos 🌮
Why was I tricked CZcams
Why?
Guys don't look at other guys when we go to the urinal. It's weird enough if someone is talking in there.
Joe Congdon good to know !! Was curious lol
Unwritten rule of the men’s bathroom. Don’t talk to each other and keep your eyes forward at all times.
And never ever use a middle urinal.
@@Max-ip1gw why?
I always talk to dudes at the urinal....just to troll mainly but also to be sociable....I am in Australia tho...and yes Max, the middle urinal should be sectioned off with police tape...a shit spot to piss
Another workout from laughing by Ali wong.. 👏👏👏🤣
It's like reading a book..
Listening to Ali Wong's comedy is like watching a horror movie 😸...you don't wanna hear what happens next but you can't turn away
I am 26, this is too adult for me to watch. 😂
I’ve learned more from this video than what my teacher taught in health class.
Look at this!...can you close the door first 😂
The kid is gonna be hearing about that for the rest of their lives