Women Without Kids, with Ruby Warrington - Terri Cole
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
- I am so excited to have my pal and best-selling author, Ruby Warrington, on the show to talk about being sober curious and living a child-free life.
Ruby actually coined the term "sober curious" and in this conversation, we both share our experience with that and getting sober. Ruby also shares her thoughts on choosing to be child-free, the societal expectations we face as women when it comes to motherhood, and so much more.
I hope it resonates with you as much as it did for me.
**Note: we discuss infertility mid-way through the episode. If this is a tender topic for you, consider skipping this episode. ❤️ **
Time Stamps
0:00 - Quote from Ruby
0:38 - Intro from Terri
2:36 - Sober curious
6:00 - Becoming sober
11:25 - Motherhood for Ruby
15:55 - Childless by infertility, choice, circumstance
18:48 - Motherhood spectrum
20:28 - Normalize questioning
25:48 - Inappropriate questions
28:22 - Ambition is important
32:15 - The myth of having it all
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About Ruby Warrington
Ruby Warrington is a British-born author, editor, and publishing consultant. Recognized as having the unique ability to identify issues that are destined to become part of the cultural narrative, she is perhaps best known as the creator of the term "Sober Curious" -- her 2018 book and million-download podcast of the same title having helped spearhead a global movement to reevaluate our relationship with alcohol.
Ruby's other works include Material Girl, Mystical World, The Sober Curious Reset, and Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood, including the New York Times, The Guardian, and Good Morning America. She lives in Brooklyn.
Website: rubywarrington.com
IG: / rubywarrington
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
Connect With Me
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Let me know your thoughts about my conversation with Ruby below! Have you ever been sober curious, or gotten sober? Was Ruby's explanation of the motherhood spectrum helpful for you? How do you feel about having kids, and has that changed over the course of your life?
I knew by the age of 5 that I didn't want to have kids when I grew up. I wrote a promise note to my big brother saying I never would. I just, KNEW. And ya know what? I turn 40 next month and have zero regrets. Only grateful that I followed my gut.
Me too.. 44 and no regrets..
Amazing ❤️
Aa someone who's always been child free by choice i really appreciate this Terry!
So glad you enjoyed it 💕
I am 73 and always knew I did not want kids and so never had any...no regrets, no do-overs needed. I love who I am. I do adore my nieces and nephews. People use to ask me, "who will take care of you when you are old?" My answer was always, "why will I need anybody to take care of me?" We have lived such a program inspired by society and born out of fear. Stand up, take responsibility for yourself and live a remarkable life, with or without kids...your choice!
👏👏👏
Making the conscious choice not to have children was maybe the best parental decision I've ever made. I was the mother of my mother, and I wasn't able to mother another person. Also, I instinctively knew that my (narcissistic) mother would have alienated my child from me, and that would have left me heartbroken.
But honestly, I'm not sure I'd have become a mother if this had not been the case. Even as a child, I never really liked children. I always thought they were ... well, childish. Also, I am not the nurturing type. I only played with my dolls when I pretended to be their teacher.
I'm glad you pay attention to this subject, Terri. I'm sure there are a lot of unhappy mothers out there who love their children but still wish they didn't have to be their mom. We need feminists who make this subject open to discussion again. Somehow, it's more of a taboo now than 50 years ago. It seems like literally every famous woman is a mom. Really? Is every single one of them happy and successful in juggling their career with motherhood? I don't believe that. Yet, you hardly hear about their problems.
That's why I admire someone like Jennifer Aniston, who is a role model for not automatically becoming a mom. I also appreciate Ruby Warrington for doing her job. Thank you both for this very interesting interview!
Thank you for adding your experience and perspective to the discussion, too, Carmen ❤️ We definitely need to normalize talking about this.
There's also childless by CPTSD. As someone parentified as a child, I NEVER wanted the responsibility, and I knew that at the age of 14.
Love this content, thank you tons Teri, congratulations on hitting all the right buttons 💖👍🏻
❤️❤️
I enjoyed this so much. Thank you
So glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Fantastic episode ❤
❤️❤️❤️
As a gay non binary, kids are cool & babies are adorable but I would rather be with a woman who has them or will carry them for us or adoption but as time goes on I can live happy with or without
In my view I have my fur kids and they are my children ❤
Sober life is much to applaud 👏🏼
Right on! ❤️
I would be so grateful if you could do a video about co-addiction. I suffer from both alcohol addiction and an eating disorder, and they turbo charge one another. I have never seen any videos on this kind of experience and there are many people who suffer from this. My primary issue was the eating disorder and the alcohol problem came in much later and has seriously complicated recovery from the ED. Assistance would be greatly appreciated.
Hi there- I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this and am sending you strength. 💕 Eating disorders aren't something I specialize in, and I don't talk a ton about addiction on my channel outside of interviews. You might find this conversation I had with Patty Powers interesting as we talk about shadow addictions and substance use: czcams.com/video/pzlQhxILV9g/video.html Patty is a recovery coach specializing in sobriety, and I highly recommend seeing if she might be able to help you if you resonate with her: www.pattypowersnyc.com/about/
I did not like children even when i was one.
Crying babies made me mad..
and then i heard a saying that scared me when i was around 6 or 7...
the Apple doesnt fall far from the tree.
So even if i could like children in some future i could very likely to be a bad mother like mine was. So when i couldnt relate to many of my girl friends when they played with babydolls and dolls in general i made the very conscious decision to never have children. At 8yo most of my girlfriends wanted to have children at some point and even knew their names.. i felt so different and such an outcast.
And when i got older i only collected more reasons to not have children. The birthing proces... the whole other person inside you, the pain the blood, the responsabbility for this persons life. Everything scared the absolute 💩 out of me. The world being this crooked only makes me feel happy that i never have to worry how the future for them was going to be like.
For me to be able to birth a child and raise it, the world has to be sooooo much more safe...
I would need to feel safe and taken care of to be able to give that feeling to my hypothetical child.. the feeling of safety..
I never had that because of my narc upbringing. So the partner i would have attracted would have had a hard job making me feel safe, not knowing rhat feeling, in able for me to feel safe enough to even think about the possibility of a child.. the vulnerabilities the unsure future.. i could never...
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ Thank you for sharing.
@@terri_cole ❤️
Motherhood can be a thankless job. Throw in an uninvolved divorced husband and father, and there have been days when I regret starting a family . One is so independent that they rarely touch base for as long as 2-3 years. The other has deep daddy issues and has gone zero contact with him. Meanwhile she’s is a divorced mother herself . God forbid she’s repeating my mistakes.
"Dudes, stop projecting!" 😂
ChildFREE by choice, not childLESS
What about women who NEVER want children from the time they are really young. I didn't find that represented. I broke ;up with men who wanted kids. It was not for me.