Can't Move On After A Breakup? What You Need to Mourn - Terri Cole
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- čas přidán 7. 06. 2024
- Have you ever hesitated to end a relationship because of the intricate ways your lives were intertwined?
Or have you ended a relationship and struggled to move on because of a profound sense of loss?
Then you are in the right place. I am breaking down the secondary losses we experience after a breakup: what they are, their impact, and how honoring our secondary losses helps us pick up the pieces.
Download the guide for this episode here: www.terricole.com/cant-move-o...
Time Stamps
0:00 - Introduction
2:46 - The nature of grief
5:53 - Endings
6:35 - Secondary losses to mourn
10:54 - Honoring your emotions
13:31 - Practical steps to healing
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About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
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The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
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#terricoleshow #relationshipadvice #breakupadvice #endings #griefandloss
I am so glad to hear you identify the multiple levels of grief surrounding life changes, especially those involving relationships. I love that you can acknowledge that you still love each person you were involved with, yet be willing to move on as you see the relationship if it is not a fit. What a breath of fresh air that differs from allowing habits and fear of change to become our guide for avoiding a necessary loss. In that vein, my mother used to say - in jest - “Oh Beverly, you’ll miss an old dog if they stay around long enough.”
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While in the past I usually got over my breakups and moved on pretty quick, but my last breakup really hit the hardest as I realized I truly loved this person and it has stuck with me to this day. Even though it’s been a while, it still feels as if this person is still in my life, making it even harder for me to move forward and find someone else. It feels like I won’t be able to find anyone else that could ever replace the bond I’ve had with that person.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion 💕
It’s like I just wrote this.
Sending love, Beth ❤️
What helped me forget my past is by focusing on a new hobby & pushing my boundaries a little. Its helped a lot. Still sometimes struggle but its an improvement over "me the basket-case".
Thanks for sharing ❤️
I’m grieving losses I haven’t fully grieved. First engagement break up 37 years ago. Death of parents 25 and 11 years ago on top of the current dissolution of my 21 year marriage that no longer supports me and the person I’m becoming. I really appreciate your soft, loving tone. I’m also doing your 10 day boundary challenge on Insight Timer. 😊 Thank You!
That is so much to grieve, and I am witnessing you with compassion. 💕 I'm glad you're finding comfort in my voice on Insight Timer!
Going through a divorce from my best friend…it’s rough but I’m trying to stay positive
I see you ❤️❤️
Yes I wholeheartedly agree, it's better to take a break between to integrate and come home to yourself ❤
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2 years ago, relationship ended and I coped well with letting go. Then out of the blue I had a birthday card and it’s triggered me. I know why this came to me as ex needed to feel control again of my emotions . I feel I’ve gone backwards. We were together for 23 years
I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️ This is something I've seen many times in my therapy practice and you're right, it's almost always about wanting to feel in control.
Trying to be compassionate with myself, even though I feel like I'm wasting time feeling down 😔. I really want to try again, but I know it's not going to work and we are just in a cycle of makeup and breakup.
It can be so difficult and painful ❤️ Can you reframe "wasting time feeling down" if you think of it as being part of the healing process?
Morning you are are only one that has described how you feel. I was married for 43 years a good marriage. Then widowed. (Then i meet a narc that was in my life two year's then he discards me. HE WAS UNFAITHFUL - SLEEPING WITH HIS EXWIFE. It is 8 months now. It been very difficult for me. You do go through a lot emotion. Shoooooo it sure is a roller coaster ride. I do a lot to keep me busy. But still missing the togetherness. (THAT WHY I WAS MARRIED FOR SO LONG - enjoyed having a partner. But have been hurt now and struggle a lot of not having anybody around. But i will just have to go on.
I am witnessing you with compassion, Debby ❤️
You nailed it Terri! Thank you.
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This is a great and incredibly helpful piece of advice, thank you for that!
You're so welcome!
Let me know below: how do you tend to navigate the aftermath of a breakup? Which tips in this video resonated? Do you think you still have things to mourn about past relationships? Don't forget to download the guide, which will walk you through this process: www.terricole.com/cant-move-on-after-a-breakup-guide
How to mourn los of live doughter?
You might still find the prompts in the guide helpful: www.terricole.com/cant-move-on-after-a-breakup-guide But I also have an episode about grief and growth that may help here: czcams.com/video/Okw-g4mwPk0/video.html ❤️