Brick lady SCAMMED us, now WHAT??
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- čas přidán 23. 07. 2024
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Ep 206 | While Alvin is away testing [REDACTED] on [REDACTED], Eddy and Josh revisit the newest developments in the ‘Brick Lady’ situation
0:00 Preview
2:55 Brick lady SCAMMED us??
32:51 “You can’t walk me down the aisle” “Fine, YOU PAY for the WEDDING then”
Bonus ep -
HBCU False Flagging - czcams.com/users/liveMIdF6xoZJ2Q - Komedie
"If you're a certain type of person, you can get your ass beat unjustifiably multiple times." Well, that's one way to put it 😂😂😂
Ngl they had us in the first half😂
eddy: WHO TF IS MAD ABOUT CHRISTMAS TREES?!?!?
josh with the most serious face: trees😅
Appreciate the nuanced conversations, Eddie took the day imo lol. Re: the wedding: bottom line is, the people getting married have the right to choose what they want for their day. They're not ENTITLED to parental financial help, but if the help is made conditional upon the helper getting their way on their kids day, that is literally controlling. Also, it's silly to make someone wrong for not wanting to participate in problematic traditions, regardless of your intention. Impact over intention. "They're older" and their feelings will be hurt, dont hold up fr Josh 😅
👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾
I think the dad feeling hurt is understandable, but taking away financial assistance after you promised it because the daughter wouldn’t do what you wanted her to do… that’s pretty messed up. Financially abusive if you will.
Tradition A) the father walks the daughter down the aisle.
Tradition B) the father pays for the wedding.
If traditions are up for negotiation then negotiate. They could come at the issue together and work out something that works for them both.
I also think it’s very weird to die on the hill of him walking down the aisle but still be like “I hope daddy pays for it 😢” but I don’t agree with him using an ultimatum to dictate her obedience either.
I mean why waste money on something that doesn't work? So, evidently as an authoratative figure dad would have to assess if that union is even worth it beforehand.
I understand her point and Eddy did a good job vocalizing the middle ground. Josh spoke truth, but it seemed like he had grown defensive over the values of tradition. The dad was controlling and we can empathize, but there is no "yes, but..." He retracted his love and his promise the moment a dream he had wouldn't be actualized, that's power. He's justified to feel hurt, but his actions make him wrong. In the end, his life isn't affected whereas she'd have conceded on one of the biggest decisions of her life
Edit: I concede she could have given alternatives just like Eddy did in the video, but off the basis of what she said, I just don’t think it’s all that crazy.
Exactly. I know this situation with that lady doing her makeup isn't actually her situation, but there are people going through this off the internet right now. I think Josh is defensive of this tradition because he would want to walk his daughter down the aisle one day himself, show the video to his friends later, have them pat him on the back, compliments all around, feel good about himself, etc. I say all the time you're not 'having a baby' or 'raising a kid', you're "raising an adult" who sometimes goes off script. No one said parenting would be easy... this scenario is one of those times.
@@MPC-0251-D beautifully written, my friend. I can see Josh internalizing that guy’s pain and I understand it but the wedding was never about the father, who is using his financial role to dictate his level of participation in the wedding. I wish Alvin was here to help him understand Eddy’s point because he seemed to push back more like he expected Eddy’s take to be eloquent but excluding the male experience despite his many disclaimers. These kids will do as they please one day and our job is to love them anyway, not control how they do things.
@@MPC-0251-DWhat you both are pointing out here is that the father’s hurt is ultimately rooted in being “robbed” of a traditional performance of *masculinity.* I think Josh couldn’t even understand the special treatment argument because he is programmed to believe that male and patriarchal privileges are just traditions and therefore natural (and to be fair, we all have to deprogram that). I think he was almost there but it absolutely came from “I should be able to want to do this exercise of masculinity and patriarchy and not feel bad about it because *everyone does it.* “ And boy is that slope slippery 🙃
@@judysm95 no the girl was just being a asshole
Also eddy point about the mom makes no sense because women have bigger roles in weddings than men do the mom go shopping with the daughter to get decorations, pick out the cake, and a whole bunch of other things literally all the guy gets is the father daughter dance, and the walk down 😂😂😂
Man the wedding thing pissed me off hah. Look - most of the things fathers "have to do" at a wedding are pretty straightforward, and they're not even especially helpful. Walk her down the aisle, make a speech, do a first dance (which is never choreographed). The mom in most weddings, at least on the bride's side, is helping her get ready on the day, helping plan the wedding and probably the engagement party, and probably tons of other stuff and then she doesn't even get to do as much as the dad on the day. It's absurd, and it's always been absurd.
I realize I’ve been dissing a mom’s role and you’re right, they bring everything together
No respect. Tryna protect your princess and you got people out here on some that's not your vagina energy😂
I wanted to add to the wedding conversation that in a marriage where only one partner earns a wage it's still both of their money. My wife isn't employed and our money is ours because I wouldn't be making that kind of money if she wasn't handling things at home. I have a little funny money but the rest is both of ours. Otherwise I think the whole conversation was good. The feelings of the dad are valid that doesn't mean his reaction to those feelings is right
yes, exactly. I find it odd that everyone is saying "father's money" unless the mother was also working outside the house. Devaluing work that is traditionally done by women is just another form of sexism.
I was trying to figure out where the disconnect was between Eddy and Josh and while I 100% am on Eddy's side I think the only thing he got wrong was why the father is actually upset. And I think that's why Josh was so confused. I don't think dad was upset because of his level of participation. It wasn't about him having no role like everyone else. It's that the specific role of walking his daughter down the aisle is connected to his role as a father and a man. It's the idea of what a father is and what his duty is and the symbolism of it. Taking away his biggest role as a father took a hit on his fatherhoodness. This is what he was told father's do and now he can't do it. So increasing his participation in other areas is not gonna cut it cuz that's not why's he's mad. Hitting his ego like that could and would make him do something as absurd as not paying for the wedding. Still am on the girl's and Eddy side tho cuz "traditional" stuff always be rooted in some fuck shit and Im always down to change that.
Fathers paying for wedding is also rooted in patriarchal tradition, so she should be fine with her father not paying.
Agree, I think the moral argument is a bit shaky there. If my dad withheld the money I’d say ok time to pivot
Gotdamn right. Down with the patriarchy remember? Keep letting them white folks get yo ass disowned if you wanna n*gga💀
An issue that wasn't brought up about the wedding situation, is the fact that the entire concept of weddings is based on patriarchal values and exchanging daughters as goods. If the daughter is opposed to upholding patriarchal traditions, why is she getting married? Why is she walking down an aisle to her groom when that act is symbolic of a woman becoming property of her husband? If she's going to reject patriarchy then she should do it wholeheartedly and not even get married, since marriage itself is rooted in patriarchy.
The dad may be wrong for no longer wanting to pay for the wedding, but the bride seems to be upholding another patriarchal value by acting entitled her dad's money. Men paying for their daughters is a patriarchal tradition. Instead of her sayint "I have to scale down my wedding to a level that is within my budget," she says "there's no way I can afford this weddjng unless my dad pays for it." So it seems like she doesn't have an issue with certain patriarchal traditions that benefit her personally. I want to be on her side, but she comes off as the type of annoying person who only rejects traditional oppressive power structures up until it becomes inconvenient for her personally. In the same way that some men demand to uphold patriarchal structures up until the point where it is personally inconvenient for them, e.g wanting a traditional submissive woman but not wanting to be a traditional man who pays all the bills. She's like that but from the opposite direction, she wants to reject the idea of being her father's property but still expects her father to shoulder a huge financial burden for her sake.
The only reason why the dad was looking forward to it was because of traditionalism. It has nothing to do with HIS personal beliefs and morals how ever...the HISTORY of it goes against his daughter's beliefs and morals
My biggest problem is that Eddy automatically assumes that the only reason a dad would want to walk his daughter down the aisle is to exercise patriarchy. That lead to the mom comparisons which i think are unfounded going off that tik tok.” If he just wants to walk her down the aisle for any other reason than because its tradition and we assume (since she wasn’t mentioned) the mother has no qualms and any of her requests have been satisfied then the dad is the only one thats been aggrieved.
Yeah he’s looking at things from only a academic standpoint
He really isn’t tho, his whole argument is that if he isn’t upset about not being able to do something for the sake of tradition then he should be equally fine with being involved in some way that isn’t walking her down the aisle. I really can’t think of a reason someone would ONLY want to walk a person down the aisle that doesn’t have something to do with tradition.
@@_.tay757._ Yeah I agree with Eddys final point that the women and her dad should be able to compromise on something equitable to walking down the aisle. I just think its bad practice to be like oh this thing has a misogynistic origin so any feelings the dad has about not being able to do it must be based in patriarchy/misogyny.
@@corduroycrookbut it was never about her father. She never called him anything patriarchal, she made a decision based off her beliefs and history. Her father is her father, she’d have loved him there regardless.
@@deviousintentions1949 Can you clarify what you mean? Is "it" referring to the wedding or eddy's argument? If you're talking about the wedding I agree, I just don't think its fair to just invalidate the dad's feelings towards how he wanted to participate in his daughters wedding. I do think they need to reach a compromise but I think its reasonable for him to be hurt/upset if the response was just " Well I don't want to do that"
Where the 3rd guy who's always willing to throw black men under the bus? He's suddenly not here when a sister is proven to be a lair?
Lmaoo you're butthurt. If you don't like their takes you could stop watching. You're literally giving them money when you watch and comment.
Also I can tell you only watch to rile up your own rage. If you watched regularly you'd know Alvin is often gone. Like for large swaths of time. You clearly only click when the clickbait works and then you like get highly offended and keep coming back to get more upset. You should spend your time on things that you like, dude, not things you hate
You require help
@@tristanslambert652He might require help but it’s a valid question
@@tristanslambert652Don’t marginalize his point.
No matter how much people love their children, weddings bring out a lot of ego and insecurity that usually has little to do with the happiness of the people exchanging vows. I've seen step-mothers-fathers, uncles and aunts get into arguments over how important they are in the wedding process, how close they are to the front of the ceremony, what children get to be flower girls, what colors they get to wear, even how many pictures they were included in on Facebook and if it was more or less than someone else. It's so messy and yes a lot of the time they threaten by withholding money, love or participation. I'm more of a misandrist than any of the guys on the podcast have been accused of, but I would say the Dad was just doing what a lot of men AND women in weddings do - make it about themselves. Is it really that hard to just let her do what she wants in her wedding if you care about your child and you're happy for her? LOL, you don't want my misandrist answer to that.
Watch this y'all. Who said it was her day?🤔
Reducing the Dad down to an ATM when he has expectations of more participation in the actual wedding is pretty bad too.
Lowkey feel Josh, I’ve had a woman come onto me and then once it got down to it she didn’t want to go through with it anymore. I admit I was kind of annoyed so I made her leave and the next day she had told some of my close friends that I tried to force her even though the minute she said no I shut it all down. We do need to trust victims but we have to have some way for those false accused to not have their lives ruined. Had I not had texts saved of her asking to hook up I would’ve been SOL
Bro said we ain't gotta apologize for a MFn' thing🤣🤣🤣🤣
WHO'S MAD ABOUT CHRISTMAS TREES??
*beat*
*beat*
....trees
For the wedding point there is a middle ground that allows both of them to be satisfied. Father's walking daughters down the aisle is rooted in patriarchy and viewing women as property. In some instances they pastor or priest will ask the father "are you willing to give your daughter away". I believe the practice can evolve to both parents walking both the bride and groom down the aisle to symbolize the uniting of two families or the parents actively showing their acceptance of this new family member, but we might not be able to do that just yet. I don't know if I will villify this man for not funding a wedding that he feels left out of, but I think that response should be a last resort after a proper amount of time of negotiations. Pulling the "ight pay for yourself" card out the gage is not looking for compromise, but instead looking for obediance.
Facts. If anything it’s even more proof of control
No you have to correct that say it right brick lady scammed black women to believe a black man did this where is my apology where is my apology
Some people are just crazy... And you can tell they crazy.... You should always wait and see with crazy people
I like to think of situations like these as sand in a bucket of rice. There is a while lot actual assult cases against women of varying degrees (rice). However, scattered throughout are false accusations (sand grains). Now we want to focus on the factual ones but the false once spoil pot.
What we need to do is acknowledge that there is sand in the bucket and adress it accordingly (washing the rice). However, we find that we find the few sand grains in our bucket and throw the whole bucket of rice away and call it a bucket of sand. This in turn causes the actual rice to be wasted.
In short: Wash your rice before you cook it. Be clear and meticulous with identifying the rice from the sand. And if sand ends up slipping into the pot of rice. Acknowledge it, rectify it and carry on handling your rice.
45:12 is me arguing with men 😂
Me in these comments lmao
the wedding conversation was interesting. new to the youtube so I don't know the names but I agreed with the person on the right who said the father was being petty and a woman should be able to have some freedom to make changes to her wedding. I also sympathize with the person on the left saying that he sympathized with the father but felt like he didn't have the same vocabulary to speak to his perspective. I actually think it was less about vocabulary and more that the reason for wanting to stick with tradition, especially when speaking about a stranger you don't know about is "just because". The dad is trying to control her if he wants to remove financial support after already sharing that he would pay - that dynamic could be a minor instance of a larger problem.
Sounds like tradition is why it's her day. Now, if we can only deduce the race issue🌝
I think what’s missing from the wedding conversation is that although the walking of the daughter by the dad is rooted in patriarchy, it can be done in a “I’ve been the main male person loving and protecting my daughter and I’m giving her, an actualized person, to you for you to be the main male person to love and protect her.” It can be done as well with the groom and his mother. I more than anybody want to transcend patriarchy and I think we can do that while keeping this and altering the meaning behind the tradition. I want to walk my daughter down the aisle one day and don’t see it as objectifying, especially if the same tradition is done with the groom.
You just said it’s rooted in patriarchy and then tried to separate it from its intrinsic meaning… that’s literally the whole issue. Men gave their daughters away as cattle and yeah some men don’t think of their daughters in that regard anymore but that’s still the basis of the tradition and having both genders participate won’t change that meaning. Plus boy moms participate in this same culture in different ways all the time, the system is beyond broken.
Wedding Compromise: Don’t walk me down the aisle because of patriarchy, okay, let’s split the cost of the wedding with the groom’s parents…let’s see how truly progressive the bride’s intentions are. OR everyone can walk everyone down the aisle and call it Wedding Parade (NOLA style)…
Y’all GOT to do a quick dive into these comments in a future segment 😂
Ima be straight. The dad is entitled to being disappointed. But... Tough. He decided to offer to pay for their wedding. When a parent decides to pay for their kids wedding then they take a backseat so the kid can plan 'their' wedding. You don't pay for the wedding so you can have leverage for manipulation. Its not a gift, its just a means of control. This is the same thing as the "crazy mother/mother in law" trying to take over a wedding. No you cant pick the cake, no you can't pick the dress, no you cant edit the guest list. You can give your opinion and I can choose to take it or not cause its my wedding.
If he didn't want to or couldn't afford to pay for the wedding that's one thing. (And its his money so he can choose to not pay, still being a petty ass tho) But in this case he is taking his money back because he didn't get this one thing he wanted. Sir.. That parenting, You cant have an independent child then be mad when they make a choice you don't like.
To me this is like having a son, looking forward to taking your son to football games, and it turns out he don't like sports. Like you shouldn't treat your kids as vessels for fulfilling whatever fantasy you have. They are unique individuals and placing these expectations only leads to disappointment for 1 or both parties. If it turns out he likes sports, great. But if he don't then you can be disappointed but don't punish them for to fulfilling expectations made before they were even born.
Okay as far as wedding traditions goes as a queer person who decided to get married, and with a very queer community around me- heres what we did at weddings. One set of us had no one walking down the aisle with the grooms. One set had parents on both sides walking down the aisle, both dads walking down an nb person and a man. At my wedding my spouse and I walked down together, no one else "giving us away". As far as dances go the first couple danced with moms. The second couple had dances for each parent. At my wedding no "official" dances at all, but we all danced together and it was lovely.
There are a lot of ways to adapt traditions to fit the people involved better, and the rejection of any compromise is a concerning thing. I agree the dad is probably just sad, but like. He should say that. Instead of acting like he is entitled to a specific performance. If he did, theyd likely find something that worked for them better.
My spouse and I are a queer, interracial, interfaith couple, so there were a lot of challenges and discussions and compromises. We figured it out so everyone could be happy. When i see things like this it reminds me that other people are like, almost never being challenged to think outside their own experiences lmao. If youre gonna make interracial and interfaith relationships work it comes w a lot of thought and empathy and consideration and often compromise. If they wanna go to church with me on a special day, then i also get their participation on one of my celebrations for ex. I was very careful about how i proposed not coming off as insensitive to racial history between our two groups.
These guys are of the same group but have clearly never thought with that same kind of consideration in mind. She didnt even think about how he would feel left out, and he didnt even think about how the history of the act could make her feel. And both jumped to like, defensiveness over trying to reach some comfortable place for their relationship. Just wild to me
eddy saying ppl get beat up more than once is so fucking hilarious.
Bro this brick lady situation is the only one Ive seen that has people reacting the way that they have been in the comments. It’s so wild, dudes coming out of the woodworks to basically be salty lmao
I'm just gone keep it a stack. I expected a whole bunch of simping to transpire. But, they some savages for the brick lady deep dive. Tbf, my dome looked like hers after a neo Nazi attacked me with a club. The difference is I beat the bigotry out his ass🤣
I think it's a double standard being presented with the wedding situation, I'll accept the tradition of dad pays for daughters wedding but dad you cant walk me down the aisle, if you want something done your way do it yourself, pay for it yourself.
"I'm not trading you for a cow and a mule"
"Damn she's expensive. She's high maintenance"
It's a shame that that joke went underappreciated.
Well, in Africa it's not a joke my n*gga. I highly suggest reading Nelson Mandela's biography.
EHH....The father daughter situation is tough. I completely understand where the daughter is coming from but the daughter and Eddie is refusing to see things from the father's perspective. The father is obviously extremely hurt.
To look forward to and financially plan something for someone you love for 20+ years and have it suddenly taken away from you is going to cause some major heartbreak.
People need to understand that when you deeply hurt someone, you have to expect and prepare for a response or retaliation you're not going to like. I do feel like the daughter is an ahole, not because she doesn't want her dad walking her down the aisle, but because of the way she went about it and the fact she's cherrypicking with the traditions.
Im willing to bet money that she's known for a very long time that she didn't want to be walked down the aisle and knew for a very long time that her father was looking forward to it. She should have put that sentiment in his ear a long time ago so they would have time to talk through it and come to an understanding, and after giving her father some time to come to terms with it he most likely would have still paid for the wedding. Instead, she waited until the wedding was near, most likely thinking it would be too late for him to back out but the opposite happened.
The daughter has every right not to want a traditional wedding but to be fair, if she is that serious about it then she shouldn't want her dad paying for her wedding away. That tradition comes from fathers paying and bribing men with gifts to marry their daughters, especially if the daughter is considered "unattractive". Both traditions have a gross history that treats women like cattle but for her, one gets a pass because she benefits from it.
I completely agree with your statement. 💯
This comment right here. 💯
Nah, this is the same thing Josh was saying and it’s wrong. Sounds like the only reason a dad should pay for his daughter’s wedding is to walk her down the aisle. Fuck her day of celebration, let’s withhold love and money because my dad has been waiting for this the day I was born and my idea of this is different than he’d imagined. Eddie literally told Josh over and over that he understood his side and that the dad’s pain was valid and real, but like Josh, you guys can’t seem to understand the other side.
@deviousintentions1949 I respect your opposite opinion but I disagree. I'm not going to say you're wrong because opinions are based on perspective and not absolute fact, but again I disagree.
Obviously a father walking his daughter down the aisle isn't the reason he pays for the wedding. He does it because it's tradition and because he loves his daughter. Is refusing to pay for the wedding messed up and petty? Yeah, but I also recognize that he's truly hurt and most people react irrationally when they are hurt. That doesn't mean that he doesn't love or care about his daughter anymore. That's his daughter, he's been by her side her whole life and just before a major life event she implies he will be treating her like cattle. Those words cut deep because it dismissed their entire father daughter relationship.
And his actions still doesn't negate the fact that she doesn't truly care about the tradition, she just wants to show an aesthetic of being progressive and a feminist without actually being one. Because if she's truly against the traditions of being treated like cattle, then she would reject both.
Ima be straight. The dad is entitled to being disappointed. But... Tough. Kids arnt tools for fantasy fulfilment. He isn't entitled to walk her down the aisle. Nor is she entitled to his money. But, He decided to offer to pay for their wedding. When a parent decides to pay for their kids wedding then they take a backseat so the kid can plan 'their' wedding. You don't pay for the wedding so you can have leverage for manipulation. Its not a gift, its just a means of control. This is the same thing as the "crazy mother/mother in law" trying to take over a wedding. No you cant pick the cake, no you can't pick the dress, no you cant edit the guest list. You can give your opinion and I can choose to take it or not cause its my wedding.
If he didn't want to or couldn't afford to pay for the wedding that's one thing. But that ain't the case here.
47:06 😂
the frustration
My (now) wife and I walked down the aisle by ourselves. The parents were there up front with the pastor and were told that was going to happen. I looked fabulous and everyone looked, my wife looked fabulous and everyone looked. :D But she also did change the traditions on him last minute, so she still an asshole. She can be right, and an asshole about it.
We didn't get an update on Alvin's status in the intro :(
the guy that hit her with the water bottle came out and said he did. She was hitting him and he hit her back with a plastic water bottle (it may have mot been plastic). He was a her friend and he said "I did not want to hurt her she kept hitting me"
Love you guys! Really appreciate the work you do. In this particular episode, I think the B word was used too heavily especially because we are discussing violence against women. I didn't think that helped. Other than that great show as always.
I saw red flags over this situation from the jump, like the way she was on a tour while her face was all messed up trying to show every brother in her vicinity on her camera phone, but got worse when I saw her in the hospital, so I wanted more info, never thought she deserved to get hit, but it did feel like she pushed it to that level probably
If it’s YOUR marriage, you should get to run it as u want, and I think the parents have the ability to back out then by not paying if they feel upset about it. I think u could also say the parents are kinda crappy for that. The dad specifically.
On the "the mom isn't getting special treatment" you better believe that the mother will be involved in the planning and heavily involved in the wedding day. That's the tradition. The father is traditionally the wallet and gets to walk down the isle. The mom gets to be there preparing the daughter for the wedding. If the mom was cut out of the planning she would be upset no doubt. If mom wanted to be in the dressing room with the bride as is traditional and she said no the mom would feel bad. And the dad can't have that.
We also don't know how exactly the conversation went. If he went straight to the denial of funds. Or if she suggested any type of compromise. She admits to accusing her father of sentiments that she admits is uncharacteristic of him. That's got to hurt. His motivation is he wants to be a part of the wedding make a significant contribution.
As Eddy said, there are many other contributions he can make. He limits himself by being the wallet. Even Josh’s reactions to all his suggestions like picking a cake seemed not “manly” enough. The mom has a role but let’s not act like it’s as prominent as this. If she can’t help her pick a dress, she’d help her pick a cake. Moms have a role but dads play a part in the ceremony itself and it’s not really like he needs to to enjoy the day.
The father is more than the wallet. He gives his blessing and pretty much assesses whether dude is worthy of his daughter or not. Depending on the culture the groom to be also has to give pops some sort of insurance leading up to the wedding. Like, hey are y'all f*cking already? If so then this is what you need to bring me before I sign off on this.
I can understand and empathize with the father and can feel his disappointment at being denied the perceived right to walk his daughter down the aisle at her wedding and partake in the tradition, but on the other hand, I feel like he went about it in all the wrong ways as a father in the situation, it gives taking your ball and going home energy big time.
It's very controlling and shady to pull financial support because you didn't get your way and makes it seem as if you have ulterior motives that are driving you that supersede your child's happiness on that day.
To me the father has the most to lose in this situation and the least to gain from not budging from his stance. If the daughter decided to be as petty as he is and scrape together the money for the wedding herself and invite everyone but him it would be a loss for him because he is excluded entirely now. Damn near every possible outcome here, short of the father just accepting he won't get his way this one time or the daughter doing a genuine 180 on the topic, will damage their relationship going forward. This feels like a time where, for lack of
a better term, the dad has to "man up" and hold the fact that you won't always get what you want and that at the core of parenthood is sacrificing your personal desires or wants for your children because you love them, this is one of those sacrifices.
I had a similar conversation with my dad about my wedding. He walked me down the aisle, but I made sure in the vows there was no "who gives this woman to this man" stuff. I didn't like it, so it didn't happen.
I told my husband that I wasn't changing my last name. I explained my reasoning. He was upset, but at the end of the day, he realized that a name doesn't mean I love someone more or less. Our kids will have his last name, so everyone gets something. It's about open communication and honesty.
If she doesn't want the dad to give her away thats fine but she should be paying for her own wedding to begin with if she doesn’t agree with patriarchal norms. Hate that shit where people are selective in how they battle patriarchy at the expense of whoevers in proximity to them. No your parents dont owe you your dream wedding neither does she owe them comfort on her special day but if you boil everything down to who is and isnt owed this or that then everything becomes transactional. Postpone yo wedding, get ya bread up, then have the wedding however you like. Simple this doesn't need to be a back and forth argument fr.
This is how I would do it. To be fair I think the argument is more about the dynamics between fathers and daughters as it pertains to weddings, and less about just solving the problem (if everyone was in the interest of solving the problem and not proving a point, there would be compromise)
@@judysm95it is about that 100%. She never said she wasn’t gonna get married now or that she wants all her daddy’s money, he offered to pay probably long ago at that. Him paying was the default HE set, not one she set because she wants to benefit. The fact she changed his role in the wedding shows she doesn’t care for wedding traditions at the very least, it has nothing to do with their relationship as father and daughter. She’s not calling her dad a patriarchal figure, he chose to act like one.
Omg I'm just not into tradition🙄 LMAOOOOOO
I believe in the Jewish tradition both parents walk both of them down the aisle
The comments saying eddy hates men are super funny especially bc someone else said he’s a womanizer.
46:30 where I disagree with Eddy is the idea that the traditions and special treatment are 100% interchangeable. Seems like Josh is trying to say it's not special treatment within the context of wedding traditions. I understand examining the tradition and it's potential symbolism, but I mean... The wedding itself is already a tradition. The bride's dad paying for it is already a tradition. For the bride to all of a sudden start turning this tradition that the dad was clearly excited for, I can understand the dad's hurt. Why she questioning tradition now? Cause they could've had some conversations 2,3 traditions ago.
With this said, the hypothetical dad still tripping for immediately withdrawing his financial support without attempt for compromise 😂. But I think that leads into a different discussion
If we’re not doing a traditional wedding, why follow the tradition of the bride’s parents paying for the wedding. Let’s fuck all the traditions.🤷🏾♀️ I think there is something to say about people upholding tradition where it benefits them but opposing it where it does not. Just my thought.
Also, the bride’s father is not the only person who holds a special role within a traditional wedding. The mothers lead the procession and the lighting the candles if I’m not mistaken. There are several special roles within a traditional wedding
This is really a hyper specific cultural discussion we're all taking as generic I think haha... I have never seen a mom lead the procession and never seen a candle lighting portion at all in the traditional weddings I've been too
The mom is also usually in the dressing room helping prepare the bride it's very intimate and emotional. If the dad doesn't walk her only the mother gets an intimate moment with the bride as part of the wedding. That's a huge deal I don't think ol boy understands that.
@@Sabrina-jl4sp yesss, the mother of the bride has the one of the most important roles along with the maid of honor. The mother’s stamp of approval and input is sought out every step of the way. Are you southern by any chance?
@@twistysunshine you’re absolutely right. So many factors determine what is seen as traditional and normal.
I’m from the Deep South. Here the mothers lead the procession and light the candles at the beginning of a wedding. At the end of ceremony the bride and groom each take a candle and use their two candles to ignite one candle (two flames become one). It’s symbolic for uniting the families as well as husband and wife becoming “one flesh under god”.
But that’s saying the father can’t get roles outside of making himself known at the event. Who says he can’t go dress shopping or buy a cake or look for a car for them or caterers or whatever else? He’s PAYING for it, he’s making it possible. She’ll honor him no matter what, this one thing just goes against her beliefs. She’s not benefiting solely from tradition, but the wealth and love of her father. He’s not owed anything at HER wedding because it’s not about him.
Eddy came off as a weird as hippie bro need to chill
Scammed us🤔 who tf is us 🤷🏾♂️
She got hit with a water bottle. Clearly this was a beef over a Stanley cup. Duh!
Ayo how do i suggest a guest?
Drop a comment!
I suggest me as a guest
Cause Im cool af
Kehinde Andrews is a Professor from the UK who started Europes first Black Studies Degree. His latest book " The Psychosis of Whiteness" is about how White Supremacy warps the way we see reality and Black Mental health. His best book imo is Back to Black. Hes got alot of insights on Black/African descended people globally wether it being culture or politics. @@WavingtheRedFlag
@@WavingtheRedFlag Kehinde Andrews the professor of Europes first Black Studies Degree. he would be a fire guest if you guys want to ever cover the Black/African history from all over the globe. Also his latest book is titled "The Psychosis Of Whiteness".
No mf body.
As a South Asian man, I would've protected women imo
Protected your scammer women that dont want you?
She was wearing a mask the whole time, so no one knows the state of her face beforehand.
She's claiming black men are beating her repeatedly, black women are beating her repeatedly, she's admitted on video to love scamming.
People are working too hard to give too much credence to this woman being a victim. The most likely scenario is that both her and the dude were trying to scam, then for some reason she had to involve the police which complicated matters, pitting the dude and brick lady against each other legally now, because neither wants to admit to police that they were scamming.
Believe and investigate easily leads to destroying the accused's life before the investigation happens. Then, the idea that even when there's definitive proof an accuser is lying they should face no legal punishment makes the likelihood of false accusations more likely. And what level of "restitution" is going to make up for a person's life being ruined, especially if the accuser has no resources to help the accused? In situations where it's more nebulous as to what occurred, of course the accuser shouldn't be punished, but neither should the accused before the evidence is even available.
People are saying she is not the perfect victim.
@@markstriker925 She's doesn't seem to be a victim period
@@RebelWithoutABossDid you not see her face after the event? Something definitely happened to her, but yeah she's definitely not the perfect victim. She could be a victim and a scammer, and she deserves justice on both sides
@@orangemoon9634No she doesn’t
cashmereee babyyy
How do you know that the daughter had the attitude of compromise?What if she was approaching her father in a entitled way? Should n't it at least go both ways ? Especially if your father loves you and you love your father and are greatful for having him pay for your wedding and taking care of you as well as your mom? Also especially if your mother was fine with everything in the first place? I never knew my father, my brother gave me away and it was very special. I think the guy without the beanie is assuming the daughter may be trying to reason with her dad in a respectful way and not just expecting him to not be sad about walking his baby down the aisle. Sorry I'm new and don't know their names yet🫣
If she’s not thinking about her father’s feelings I get it and she should offer alternatives but it’s her wedding. Him not being able to walk her down the aisle shouldn’t be a reason to not pay for it. The mother was fine with it because her roles are set, it’s the father who wants the traditional roles the daughter isn’t comfortable with. I do agree there needs to be some compromise, but he literally said “lemme walk you down the aisle or no wedding money”. It’s fine that your brother walked you down, but that’s what YOU wanted and what YOU allowed to happen. That’s the expectation YOU had for YOUR wedding.
Also... why is the person in said scenario entitled to their parent's money as a fully grown "independent" adult?
Imagine growing up with a father who says he’ll pay for your college tuition just to say no because he can’t drive you to campus the first day since you wanna go with your friends? I didn’t have a patriarchal example to give, but that’s essentially what he’s doing. He can feel hurt about not dropping her off, but to take away the whole opportunity? Weird.
Edit: and yes, obviously she can pay for it herself. I’m sure that won’t stop her from getting married.
No one said she was. He offered.
Then tried to use a gift as leverage to control someone elses wedding.
Yes "unjustifiably beaten" 😅 also sometimes certain type of women with autism. I mean no hate as I am a woman on the spectrum.
Oh no now we have to think about morals and sh*t again😂
For starters, there's a certain measure of hypocrisy to trying to buck traditions of a marriage ceremony but still expecting to follow the tradition of having the father pay for everything.
That aside, here's the abbreviated: Traditions and their roots have nothing to do with you or your relationships unless YOU make that connection in many cases. An atheist can still celebrate Christmas because they can make the connection to the holiday spending time with loved ones as opposed to any religious traditions, and that applies to every aspect of a marriage ceremony as well. Nobody needs to care about the past inequality aspect if that has nothing to do with you or your family's history. No, a future bride is NOT property...but that has FUCK ALL to do with you and your dad walking down an aisle together at your wedding. That's somebody else's issue.
Thanksgiving has a terrible history and people can sit out the holiday. They can choose not to cook or decorate or do a dinner, but saying they can’t get a plate is fucking dumb. Marriage wasn’t a thing women could do out of love so she’s already defying tradition. What’s one more thing?
@@deviousintentions1949 that's my point. The history of said traditions are NOT automatically implemented in modern-day practice. So, drudging those up in circumstances that don't fit is unnecessary unless you're trying to create conflict where there was none. If your family celebrates Thanksgiving, you're not gonna decry the history of the holiday at the table because that has nothing to do with your family's reason for observing the holiday. The same could be said of this Reddit scenario with the father of the bride. If his reasoning for wanting to walk her down the aisle had nothing to do with ownership, why bring that up as an issue? Better yet, why not just have a reasonable discussion about the matter and actually get his reasoning for wanting to do this? That's way better than presuming the worst
@@Seiryu64 history still exists. She has the right not to want that because of what it means, like I have the right to celebrate if I want to because I don’t support a holiday that celebrates the slaughter of indigenous people. Her dad’s feelings are real and they matter, just not as much as people think they do.
@@deviousintentions1949 history existing is not relevant in these situations. That claim would imply that people who celebrate Thanksgiving are doing so as some kind of means to honor Puritans, and you know they're not. Just like her bringing the history of that wedding tradition was completely irrelevant because it has nothing to do with why her father might want to be a part of the ceremony. And we can't ignore the fact that THAT is the source of the conflict in this situation. She brought up a historical component to the wedding ceremony that had not a goddamn thing to do with her father, and he seemingly felt shoved out of the proceedings because of a tradition that he never adhered to. She's wrong for that, and it never needed to be an issue.
@@Seiryu64 the people who do it aren’t honoring them because they’ve attributed new meaning, but I’m not gonna fault anyone who says they don’t wanna eat thanksgiving dinner because they don’t agree with it as a holiday. Ignorance and propaganda made it what it is today, that’s why it has new meaning. Her being aware of that and wanting new symbolism she can agree with shouldn’t be a problem. I can understand it seeming unnecessary but people travel for weddings or choose to elope, all kinds of non traditional things. He will see his baby girl join families with another man. That in itself should be enough, but I’ll concede she didn’t tell us she gave him any alternatives so he can feel “like a man/her father”. Eating Thanksgiving dinner is harmless but still has to be shitting on the indigenous in some way, so maybe she feels that tradition is just as outdated. You say it had nothing to do with her father and he revoked the means to get married on his behalf. It sounds like the same thing in my opinion, except she has a choice.
I don't think MLK getting beat could be described as 'unjustifiable'. It was morally unjustifiable, but from a social perspective it's clear why it's happening. He's defying the power structures in such a strong way that they can only respond with violence.
It was a question of power.
But Eddie's phrasing makes it sound like some Wile E Coyote kind of situation taking place.
Morally it was wrong. But, not against the law clearly😁
She didn’t lie about being assaulted,,,, she just lied about it being a brick,,,
That is in fact NOT all she lied about. She lied about the circumstances leading up to her being hit framing herself exclusively as the victim of an unprompted assault rather than a participant in an altercation she initiated by first assaulting someone (an adult man specifically which, while legally not important does complicate things morally for many). She then later lied about the involvement of those around her, furthering her false narrative and preying on the concerns, fears and angers of her future victims. Afterwhich (and I believe this is why she's been charged) she presented this story to the police, but more importantly the public, and was involved in knowingly setting up a GoFundMe to get money based on the lie she fostered regarding the circumstances leading up to and the cause of her injuries.
That is of course just my current understanding based on previously read documents. The future court case (I believe in March) will clarify and provide extra more info about all information provided regarding Rho of course.
She wants to play both sides. She's not independent. She's a grown ass woman lmao.
Exactly. Pay for your own damn wedding, divorce, childcare, sex change. Tf you need parents for while we're at it?😂
How is, "Trust, but VERIFY." any different from, "The evidence must be overwhelming & compelling."? As a person tells their story of victimization, the details should matter & start to flesh out the story vs the truth.
Because Trust but Verify leaves room for you to empathize with a potential victim as you learn the truth to determine what happens next. The evidence does need to line up, but no one should feel bad or be attacked for standing up for a potential victim.
The evidence needs to be overwhelming is true but it already makes the person kind of guilty, in my opinion. It says we can’t trust victims until the facts are out, that we shouldn’t at least try to believe them. It sets a higher standard for belief. The evidence IS what makes us deal with their cases differently, it’s what we learn about the reported circumstances. Eddy isn’t saying believe them and don’t question a damn thing, he’s saying asking for overwhelming evidence might create an environment where victims feel they won’t be believed unless they meet an exceptionally high burden of proof. That deters people from reporting abuse and dealing with victims of alleged abuse is already tricky enough.
@@deviousintentions1949 "Because Trust but Verify leaves room for you to empathize with a potential victim as you learn the truth to determine what happens next. The evidence does need to line up, but no one should feel bad or be attacked for standing up for a potential victim."
Truthfully its still believe all women. But i think its important to know that there’s a second part and its verify. Nothing bad can come from revealing the truth. Gathering’s evidence that supports the victims story is only a good thing and if we find that the victim is lying, then thats that. I will say that i feel bad for men who are innocent in these situations. Its beyond difficult to recover from that.
Why would it still be believe all women
@@versatillion15believe women simply means to take these accusations seriously, wait for the evidence and don’t dismiss them right away. Especially sexual assault, which is extremely underreported and under prosecuted. Like eddy said: trust but verify.
@@advisorywarning then the phrase should be changed to “take accusations seriously” because believe all women & wait for evidence are completely opposite
This is a crazy thing to type lmaoooo. Why would you believe all women when you’re trying to get to the bottom of something?
All I see in the comments are men basically going “FD, Eddy and Alvin criticize men too much and they must resent us black men! Feminists!” Imagine being called misandrist for a take as simple as the ones had in this video.
If you see someone giving women more leeway than men then that signals some bias which is totally fine. What exactly is your issue with that?
because people love to preach about accountablility until they are the ones that are being held accountable
You know it's more than just about their takes in THIS video. They have a a history of anti Black Male rhetoric.
@@rockb922 there’s nothing anti about their rhetoric. FD regularly talks about how we can help black boys and men and advocates for our well being while speaking out on issues we create for ourselves and black women. These guys have real discussions to understand the layers of a thing from the surface to the sociological aspects. It’s not anti-black men to be critical of them, it’s anti-black men when they give up on us and talk down on us.
@@PinocchioDread my issue is that men don’t need that much leeway in these stories. There’s always some whataboutisms going on and it’s irritating. Let these niggas speak on issues that don’t positively (or negatively) affect or make us look good without crying about it. Not you specifically, the whole base.
For woman scamming people or lying about the details in the story, I think the larger issue is the conversation surrounding violence against women becomes very volitile and toxic from the jump once accusations arise. Instead of waiting for evidence to be gathered and presented as a whole, people instantly choose sides with largest extremes. "He is an abuser and needs to lose his job and be imprisoned NOW." or "She's a liar and trying to destroy this man's life. She needs to be imprisoned NOW." By doing this the results of these disputes are "a woman lied on a man, so we can't trust women because they all lie" or "see he did attack her. We have to believe all women no matter what so no woman will be left defenseless against these monsters."
If we're going to be more responsible with these conversation, we first gotta learn that our initial responses can't be so extreme and rooted. We gotta learn to hold out for more evidence before launching into frenzies.
Yup. We gotta stop with that never put hands on women under any circumstance bs. It's f*cking stupid. It should be worded better. Like, bullying women is wrong, periodt. But, you're gotdamn right I'm gonna defend myself if my life and livelihood is on the line. Idgaf who is in my way of getting home to my family n*gga😂
I think this episode should be a call to the guys to to stop making content off of situations without knowing all the facts. I never hear Eddie apologize or concede on anything so that's not surprising. I got put on to this podcast through F.D. but there's just something about these guys that rarely make me walk away feeling like they were good conversations; especially when you end up having to pay for "extra context".
Because they are simps unable to hold women accountable
TBH, when it comes to guys like this & FD Signifier, there is always that misandric undertone of how they discuss men. Like the priority isn’t to really ameliorate the relationship between men & women but to instead further dichotomize it. I believe FD really showcased this in his Simping for Black women video where he for a split second talked about society over-scrutinizing men but then proceeded to invalidate their issues by saying divestors are like cats & men are big dogs? He also did this in his review of ShoeOnheads men/left video. There’s an issue that leftist should confront about their internalized misandry
@@PinocchioDreadyou sure you aint in the wrong place saying all this? Lol
@@PinocchioDread Well, if we look at the actual fact of black women who are indeed murdered and abused sincerely at higher rates, it is part of the reason why FD does feel that some of the divestors have some more valid points. Many of the divestors do have toxic view points, but some of them are withdrawing investment because they are tired of colorism and discrimination against women (which has historically been against women).
@@silentghost112why would he be?
The entire concept of a traditional wedding is patriarchal poperty bullshit. The daughter in this hypothetical is taking a firm stand on this one issue when the entire ceremony is couched in patriarchy and tradition. It just seems like a curious thing to take issue when the point of the ceremony traditionally is an older man trading property with a younger man. Eddy seems hung up on this walking down the aisle thing, when it is all a bit silly and archaic.
Wrong. It was a trade and the daughters were the property traded, while the dad gained some land or status or something. That’s what it was for a long time, probably longer than it’s been “traditionally” about love.
@@deviousintentions1949 how am I wrong when you literally just co-signed what I said? The ceremony is couched in an older man exchanging property with a younger man; a daughter for resources of some kind, hence patriarchal bullshit.
@@Doctopian nah you’re deadass right. I probably didn’t read your comment well enough, that’s on me
Thought provoking and substantive discussion on brick lady. I suppose if we're approaching these things in good faith (and we are, for good reason) then we're going to get played. That's the cost of believing the victims that *have* gone through something and are afraid no one will believe them. It's always best to withhold ultimate judgement until more facts come in, but if it means we got conned every now and again so women feel safe knowing that if they come forward they'll be believed then I'm willing to be the fool.
I think it comes from a good place but I don’t personally see false sexual accusations against men as a problem. I’ve rarely seen men get falsely accused of physical abuse but haven’t once heard a false sexual assault accusation. It’s something i see often sensationalized in media but couldn’t name anyone off the top of my head. Not saying it’s never happened but, is that really where men are getting hit the hardest?
As the father of 3 daughters, I won't be paying for ANYTHING without a prenup. 50K of my money only for you to call it quits BEFORE I pay the wedding off? NOPE, NOPETY NOPE NOPE.
Again, believe evidence keeps third parties objective. Believe all victims as a philosophy assumes the reporter is the victim.
6:40 - 6:51 Gotta disagree whole heartedly.
Yes you are right you personally DON'T have to apologize for what you said under any circumstances but you can still be called the Hell Out on it as you should be and were. Nobody denies these things happen in real life especially to certain genders BUT that's not an excuse to justify you saying what you said. If you're accusing someone (ambiguous or not, whether you're the initial person or someone else who heard about it and wanted to say your peice) and it comes out the accuser lied your Apology Needs to be Louder than your Accusations. It doesn't matter your Gender, Sexuality, Orientation or Religion. These are people's lives and reputations at stake here. You don't go around accusing a specific Man (or Men in general) of say sexual assault saying some of the most wildest things and when he's found clearly innocent you then say "I don't have to apologize for what I said bcus it happens to Women". That's Not How This Works.
Bcus at that point there's no point in you trying to make the statements of being in the middle, reserving your opinion until further evidence comes out. You're just gonna feed lie anyways which doesn't help. You might as well just say "you believe all Women" at that point no matter they say or what evidence comes out and call it a day. That's Shady Behavior which makes you and your stances Untrustworthy. If you're going to be saying things as a Man (really as any person) then you need to be held Accountable for what you say Regardless of how you Personally Feel. It's not hard to say "I messed up, I was wrong, I missed the mark on this particular thing and that's on me".
I don’t like the idea of accusers going to jail either. I like all the info being out there and people just telling the truth if you want to convict someone. The Meg thing annoyed me because of the story. If she said, I was black out drunk, they was shootin and I found out I got hit because the doctor told me he found fragments, I thought I stepped on glass. When I heard a story that don’t sound right and yet hear all these folks on tv telling me to believe them just sounds nuts.
yeah, I think it goes under the same principles as a theory in an experiment, failure to disprove a theory doesn't mean the original theory was false, so failure to prove guilt shouldn't be punished similarly.
Maybe there can be charges if there's a bunch of flat out falsified malicious evidence, but it's a bad idea to simply penalize accusers that couldn't prove their claim.
it doesn’t make sense bc you paid attention to what you want to.
Who the brick lady actually hurt is black men.
And they deserve an apology
The man she accused admitted that he hit her.
@@orangemoon9634he said in self defense**** the report from the police based on the camera footage also says she began attacking him first.
Hurt your feelings. Let’s be honest you can say the whole thing.
no it didn’t. mass violence didn’t happen towards them, public opinion of them didn’t shift, nobody was even jailed and the nigga is on video saying he got her. y’all just want an apology bc folks believed a woman. bottom line
Also i be feeling like Eddy has some resentment towards men. In the wedding situation it got highlighted, why should the father be treated like everyone else, if he's the one paying?🤔 Also, if she is independent enough to walk down by herself then she's also independent enough to pay for it independently. You cant just pick the parts of tradition that benefit you, thats not fair.
How is it resentment towards men? The girl said she didn’t want that one thing but she allows him to have the first dance. Not every tradition needs to be a thing and if someone doesn’t want to do it then that’s fine. But he is reacting out of pure pettiness. She isn’t being petty, she’s being the daughter he raised.
Eddy’s pretty consistent with his views on financially coercive dynamics and parental influence on adult children. His take was actually pretty measured and he even conceded that perhaps she paid for her own wedding as well and allow the dad extra participation in other roles of the wedding. Truth is it sounds like dad wants the symbolism of patriarchal ownership without having to confront what that symbolizes.
Is he really the only one paying? Once again, like, it's unlikely that "his" money isn't also his wives. There aren't as many stay at home moms these days
👋🏽🚩
🛋️
I think the fake dad is right, she can do what she wants to do and pay for it. I’m not paying for your brother wedding.
Why did he offer to pay in the first place?? How are you going to offer something then take it away because you’re upset?
@@nizbet5707 for the tradition. He offered for the tradition. If she’s good on the traditions she can do it herself. That’s why i brought up his potential son (also i know this fake, for conversation sake)
How tf did slavery even get equated into dad having a say on the wedding tho?🤣🤣🤣🤣
With the father daughter situation... Regardless of father being petty, regardless of potential for compromise, regardless of all of Eddy's valid points...
How come people don't want to stand fully on their values? If you don't want Person A to do X, and as a result Person A takes a step back and refuses to do Y, why does that stop you from continuing with your event, instead of you making adjustments so that you can do what is within your capacity while fulfilling the values you say matter so much to you?
I always found it funny how toxic yet woke Eddy is, he reminds me of a womanizer who minored in womans studies. Shout out Josh for always representing/defending the common black man. I appreciate Eddys and Alvins perspective but i always feel like they represent the minority of men on most issues.
Lmao when they don’t parrot your views , you throw things at them. I just watched the olurinni video on this topic and her mostly female audience went crazy on van Lathan too. Echo chambers are so hilarious to observe 😂
I went to the comments before listening, so if I miss the specifics of this conversation, my bad. Between Eddy and Alvin, I'm very conflicted on their views on men and women. They extend minimal grace to men, and they always give women the benefit of the doubt. In a general sense, I agree with that sentiment. In society, women more likely than not have more disadvantages to overcome than men and need allyship from more men.
However, they default to this simple dichotomy a lot of the time and ignore other intersections or the particular nuances of a given situation. I found these guys through FD, who also does this a lot. It's almost like you're either a feminist or an incel, and they don't really leave much room to try to understand where a critique of their standpoint on an issue may be coming from.
He's not funny, he just tries to be.
Damn, did Eddy fuck your girl? You're big mad. "Most" men are dead wrong on a lot of shit so what's your point?
@@TheMagnanimousManythe perspective comes from learning about misogyny and how it works and understanding is totality so what you're seeing from people like FD is a cursory knowledge of how these systems play on the middle of the road to dismiss any concerns. Also, you have a lot of people that operate in bad faith that kills nuance. Having an even opinion is hard to do online because people operate in extremes online so you have to play around that.
I don't understand how you admit there's an issue when Men get accused and get their life ruined by a Woman lying and there's no punishment towards the Woman in any shape form or fashion, but then so timid on the idea of Women who can't prove their claim also being punished and it some how being worse. Then further say it's RARE that Women are shown clearly lying. So it's more acceptable to you for a Man getting the raw end of the stick but when it's put on an even playing field (like its supposed to be) for Women it's "questionable". Just say you're biased towards Women. It clearly shows with that special phenomenon of "being a certain type of Woman people especially Men are gonna come at you". That's straight up some Feminism Nonsense. You mean to tell me or rather imply that's something strictly for Women and Men don't have any shape or form of that as well. Then after that you brought up the LGBT...like come on, this stuff is writing itself.
The Law isn't perfect and is going to have situations like this here and there but it still should apply for everyone equally not be biased to one side.
shame it ain't a scam everytime because usually
Imo, parents who are able to pay, paying for big expensive things in their children's lives, like higher education, a car or an apartment, is less about tradition, than practicality. This kind of monetary support of children is also done in more secular cultures, where big religious weddings aren't so much a thing. Young people just don't have that money yet. So the two-sidedness argument of the tradition doesn't work.
Bingo
Regarding the wedding situation, the tradition is not about ownership. It's about 'protectorship'. The tradition is rooted in the healthy masculine tradition of protecting your women. The procession indicates from the father that he is now entrusting his daughter's safety and wellbeing unto you. It's a sacred passing of the provider torch from the father to the husband. The father bestowing the honour that he has had to protect and provide for his daughter unto the man. It has nothing to do with ownership or dominance over the woman. It is instead a submission to her needs of physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. The father giving his daughter away as we say where i come from is cherished tradition of bestowing the honour of the care of the wife from the father to the son. It is kinda sad to see it being warped into something oppressive.
Where I'm from, weddings aren't an individual activity its about the families. Yes, it boils down to the couple but the marriage joins two families together. Plus, if you not funding the entire activity and you can't fund it, then you can't call all the shots. Plain and simple.
You are obviously not a father. It's not about property. As a father it's about me letting my job go and giving it to the man. Also you want to be non-patriarchal and not let have him walk you but be patriarchal and have your family pay for the union. Which is the core of the ownership issue that she has. That entire "tradition" came from the dowry.
What is your "job"? Seriously, think about it harder dude. She says ownership bc that was the literal historical purpose of the ritual. But this idea that there are roles she has to have and he has to have just bc of gender is literally the whole reason she's upset
I do agree the other family should probably pay, but like. Let's not argue about what the tradition has meant throughout all time just bc you personally feel differently about it
@@twistysunshine but she's choosing to ignore the greater part of the "tradition" to suit her needs but focusing hard on the lesser. But it's cool.
I’m sorry I love the pod but I gotta disagree with the part about punishing victims. I hate that narrative in society that “let’s not ruin a man’s livelihood” when continuously men are not punished for the harm they do. Most rapists are never punished or seek treatment or real consequences for the life long harm they have caused. I understand the point of not letting lying roam free but our solution is to let rapists roam free and rely on the factor of doubt. Men are often times given too much credit or benefit of the doubt in these situations. If it’s he said she said, why does the he’s obvious denial of the accusation automatically mean he’s clear of wrong doing when we know most rapists are never tried. I’m sick of us defending men in hypothetical situations when accusations may come but disregard the women in our lives that have been the victims and say there’s nothing we can do
This was thought provoking, thank you.
On lady brick city: we believe the allegations, investigations were preformed, she was found lacking. The principal of Believe but/and Verify. worked. It when we don’t believe allegations and don’t verify that we get decade long backlogs of unprocessed rape kits.
My wife and I had a non traditional (Christian/western) wedding. We removed or changed the wording around all the gendered stuff. we were presented as “the couple”. Her father did walk her down the aisle but my mother was escorted down the aisle by my cousin, my father and my stepfather(mother’s husband) walked down together my mother inlaw and stepmom walked down together. We mixed and matched all kinds of stuff. I put together my wife bouquet.
Tradition and ritual can be what ever you want.
Here is the other thing, on some petty shit. You always free thinking your way down to the court house and have a reputation and a cook out at somebody’s house.
If you can prove a person was false accusing anyone they should be punished. You can literally change a person life with a lie.
It was a girl on my wrestling team who didn’t like me mainly cause i was black and our personalities just didn’t click but she had a thing about asserting herself when i was talking to this one girl on the team and straight up said “i could say you raped me and no one would believe you” and she’s lowkey right. She blonde hair blue eyes at the time I’m 185 black athlete, i still hate that woman.
So... lose the tradition of the father walking her down the aisle but keep the tradition of the father paying for it? This reminds me of a phrase I saw on reddit..."A La Carte Feminism"
It's a cultural problem bro. It's more or less about dad absolving himself of responsibility. Like, sweetheart it's his job to take care of you now.
Eddy refusing to understand that while a tradition can be rooted in a problematic history of viewing daughters specifically as property to be given way in marriage, that’s not what that tradition means to most people in 2024. It’s now seen as a sort of last act of love between a dad and his little girl. It symbolizes that they know and believe they raised you right and are in support of your marriage and partner. But yeah let’s talk about “performing masculinity” like that’s what matters to the dad.
Eddys is really ignoring the emotional side of a dad walking his daughter down the aisle. Her taking that from over something she admitted they’ve never done to her is just weird to me. And nigga hell fucking yeah if he’s paying for the wedding he should “ special privileges “ since that’s what she wants to call it. Yeah the whole not paying for the wedding thing is a stretch but the fact that she’s willing to call his bluff and risk her wedding tells me she’s pretty sure he’s capping, and thus I think Eddys argument was extremely fragile in its basis.
Shorty is epitomizing a “ Bridezilla “
Straight up, its her wedding. He offered to pay. Even if her reasoning is " i just didn't feel like it" that's enough. You can customize your wedding as you see fit. Be it wear all black, no kids, no booze, etc.
If you take back the money because you don't get the 1 thing you want its not a gift, your using money to control someone elses wedding. You don't get special privileges because 'you' choose to pay. He just as bad as the mother/mother in laws that try and take over the wedding. I wouldn't give someone $100 then control what they buy. And She was still willing to give homie the first dance.
He's allowed to be disappointed. But that's tough. Kids are not tools for fantasy fulfilment.
@@ItachiUchiha-sh6of it was never stated that he offered to pay for the wedding. He’s doing it because it’s tradition to do so. She’s chose to break tradition first 🤷🏾♂️
@@jalenchildress716 did she hold a glock to his head lol? He decided to pay. Nobody forced him nor can force him. Dad is butthurt he cant control his daughters wedding. I don't care if he paid for it. The money is for 'their' wedding.
Yes you can keep parts of a tradition and get rid of other parts.
If you offer to pay for someones wedding how much control do you have over 'their' wedding? If daughter didn't want to wear white would the issue be the same?
@@ItachiUchiha-sh6of lol look pal feel how you want to about and I’ll do the same. That work for ya?
Not trad Josh jumping out again 🥴🥴 Who cares what some old man wants for his daughter’s wedding? It’s literally her day and it’s a sexist tradition she wants to get rid of. If he wants to be catty about one tradition to then re-nig on another long standing one, then tradition clearly don’t matter and it was about control and property. He should be thankful that his daughter still wanted to do a father daughter dance despite him being an ass.
If it's all about her then dad reserves the right to be like look, I'm grabbing a beer with my son in law while you show your ass on the dance floor. You DO NOT get to disrespect your parents for any reason just because you got adult body parts now. Stop with that white people sh*t already🤣
Is Eddy misandrist?
This woman was still harmed I hate that content is being prioritized over her well being. She never scammed anyone because was never even able to access the gfm. Is content really worth perpetuating harm?
From what I heard she started the fight in the first place