This Is Why Women Don't Want Kids
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- čas přidán 29. 04. 2023
- This Is Why Women Don't Want Kids
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Hello lovely, it's Frederique Bros here, and today in this video, we're going to take a closer look at how motherhood can be a rewarding experience, there are also many benefits to being a woman without kids. For one, women who do not have children often have more freedom to pursue their personal goals and interests without the responsibilities that come with parenthood. They may have more time to travel, focus on their career, or engage in hobbies and passions that bring them joy. Overall motherhood can be a wonderful experience for many women, there are also many benefits to being a woman without kids. It's important to recognize and celebrate the choices and lifestyles that work best for each individual woman.
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Hi, I'm Frederique Bros, I'm French/Australian, and on this channel, I do reactions and commentary and occasionally I share my sarcasm and jokes! I love finding the best on social media about the news, celebrities, influencers, TikTok and of course women. I upload weekly, enjoy and share the love x - Jak na to + styl
Total strangers have asked me for years if I’m married and have kids. When I answered no to both questions they would tell me in a sad voice “It’s okay there is still time”. Now that I’m 40 many people still ask me those questions but they do not reassure me that there is still time. Looks like I expired 10 years ago!Thank goodness I live for myself and have amazing adventures as a travel nurse. Stay true to yourself; who else are you living for?
I think it is sometimes a conversational thing, or so I found it, like asking instead about your profession in other circles. Or, in research, you ask about the research topic. Or, in some "cultures", ask about which religion you belong to. So if you do not have kids, religion, work or similar, there is nothing to ask or discuss, and if religion / kids / work are a big part of the culture/community of the other person, they might not understand what fulfils your life. Just a thought!
I'm 40, and still being questioned about when I'll settle down and have kids, apparently the cut point is higher in my culture lol, oh, and when I reply I don't want kids, the response would be: who'll take care of you when you're old? and I'm like, I have insurance and apparently more faith in God than you since I believe God will take care of me :D (my circles are quite religious)
I personally don't care if someone wants to have children or not. My son always said he didn't want kids. He said he wouldn't mind stepkids, but had no desire to procreate. He is still childless at 39.
From the spoiled brats I see running around, more women need to review if they should have kids or not.
I once had a woman sit next to me on the bus and during our conversation asked me if I had kids. When I said no, she said "but you look so happy". We were both in our 30's. I'm now 46, still no kids and still very happy 😊
I once had an employer (female owner of a small business) judge me for not being married with kids in my late 30s. What is wrong with people?
Sad and worthless at 60? ....that must be me then.😂 My elderly neighbours had five offspring who barely showed their faces from one year to the next. When Mr had a fall at home, I telephoned one of them and was told they were 'far too busy' to come. Offspring do not always look after/support elderly parents...Mr Markle is a case in point.
When this case happen. Instead of thinking your kids are evil, instead think about being a good and respected parent so your children could respect and love you
Agree 💯
57, no kids. More money. More freedom. She fine 😊
Iam a carer and I’ve worked in nursing homes and trust me there are so many elderly patients who have adult kids and it doesn’t make there lives better , most don’t bother with them or don’t visit, I used to sit with so many elderly patients who were devastated that they never got a visit or there family just dumped them there , also the number of adult kids who felt so stressed and burdened by there parent and they couldn’t cope so they put there parent in a home.
The ones who never had kids seemed to be more content . And more independent.
Also my partner has 5 kids from a previous marriage, I don’t have kids never wanted them but my partners adult kids cause so much heart ache and problems for him it breaks my heart .
But on the other hand Iam an only child and my mum is the kindest,loving mother I could wish for we have a wonderful relationship. She definitely was destined to be a mother.
Do what’s best for you it’s your life .
I loathe the ‘who will look after you when you’re old argument’ as you pointed out - working in a care home - having children is no guarantee they *will* look after their parents
This is a great post.
Hi I’m 51 and I have 3 wonderful children , they are my best friends now . That being said no one should be made to feel less than regardless of the choice they make . Everyone is different with different life goals , sometimes I’ve been talked down to cause I wanted to stay home and raise my family. It happens on both sides. Why can’t we just treat each other with kindness and respect.
I’m 51 and never had children, but respect those that do as it is the hardest thing on the planet
I have one and got played. They kept asking me when I was gonna give her ‘someone to play with’. I said, “I was a little girl once so I know about Barbies and tea parties. I’ll play with her.” Those same women tell me how lucky I am to only have one like luck had anything to do with my decision🥴
😂😂😂😂 exactly that! 👏👏👏
Hello Frederique. I'm 56 and never had kids. I am fine with my decision. I would NEVER judge anyones decision. You want them, good for you, you don't, good for you as well. Each person has their own journey so embrace your journey :) RESPECT everyones decision and ignore peoples input into YOUR LIFE decision :) GREAT CONTENT!!!
such a good and relevant video. I spend half a day with my friends' kids and feel like a truck ran over me when I get home.
I can't count the number of times that other women have insulted and be-littled me for not having or wanting children. Many don't do it on purpose, but I don't really care. If you are raising children and you are that unaware of other people's feelings, then I worry for your kids, to be honest. It wasn't until I was into my forties that others finally stopped nagging me about it. It can be a real problem for child-free women, and if you speak up you quite often get patronized and told that you're upset because you don't have kids and you're envious of the people who do. It can be a no-win situation. Even strangers will get personal and judge you in this way. It's a very hurtful and insulting thing to endure. Thank you for bringing attention to the way that we child-free women often get mis-treated.
Say back to them, and this shuts them up BIG TIME: "Tell me, why did YOU have kids?" Honestly they get embarrassed and don't know what to say.
Yes, child free, boyfriend free or partner free. All the same as far as being treated a cetain way or awkward situations.. Employers: Do you have kids? a boyfriend? No? great, litterally looking happy, for themselves (them thinking they can call you in last minute on your days off or hold you back longer after work with no heads up- yes that happened to prove my worries were right with 2 employers). Other times people just assume you have kids: At an early morning appointment somewhere they asked " how did you get away?" Assuming I had kids home on a weekend when I have none 😂. First one makes me mad, second one was awkward cause I didn't know what she was taking about at first, never met her before so had to ask her what she meant, I was confused. I have 1 pet and two elderly parents so my hands are full as far as the living who might need me.
One of my very best friends had a great response when asked why she didn't have kids: "We just forgot!" I love it.
I feel this. I used to get the question: what happens when you change your mind? I once asked it back, and was promptly ostracized from my friend group. 100% worth it
@@melissajleclair good response.
My husband and I decided we didn't want children. We both had to keep justifying ourselves throughout our 30s and from the moment we got married. Sometimes to complete strangers. I worked as a nurse so was always asked if I had children and when I said no they asked me when. I had friends who couldn't have children and thoughtlessness like that used to have them in bits. In the end I used to say I don't want to discuss this subject as it was difficult for me. They used to look mortified and apologise. Sounds cruel but I was making them understand that they were being insensitive. I am 62 now and no regrets.
Love this topic! TY for covering it. My own mother told me I would "regret not having kids on your death bed." 😂 I never wanted them and still don't. Almost 47, I have had adventures, I have hobbies, and three dogs and never regretted my life choices.
Lol 😂 what? That's really manipulative to say. Has she been on a deathbed before?? Like what?!
I will turn 58 this year, and I couldn't agree more. No one can make you happy except you. Having free time for myself ,after all the hard work I do,has always been something I need. I never had a need to have a child, and have had people call me selfish because of it.
No one should question your choice about having children. It’s none of their business not to mention incredibly patronising; especially to assuming you might change your mind. I will disagree on one point - I’m so glad social media don’t exist when I was younger as I managed to get away with terrible behaviour, that’s thankfully not on the internet haha! 😂
Don’t people have anything better to do than to pry into other people’s business?😕
The worst is to have the bad look like if you are a bad apple. We are happily married for 29 years , we could not get pregnant. Adoption was harder than getting a passport. We stopped. We take care of our nephews we are the fun uncle and aunts. But every time we get the question, it seems that we are horrible people. It was bothering me for a while, not anymore. They can not get through me or hurt me. Life decided like this. We accepted it and when I see how things are turning right now, maybe it was for the best. I will always be the woman that random kids run to. I will always share and give all my attention to kids. They are smarter than some adults anyway!
I think it is also country dependent. In the US childcare, education, Healthcare is wildly expensive. No pensions. Many people saw their parents struggle so much just to get by, they never wanted to be in that position themselves. Now the economy is even worse than 20 years ago.
I think it also depends on the retitrementsystem of the country. We have a generation contract. Our kids pay for our rent. So, you are free to choose whether you want kids or not. No judgement. But don't ask for our kids to pay for your retirement money, while families have less money and a lot more work.
@@anjaoguegbu574 The US doesn't have a retirement system. It is all self-funded and most people don't make enough to do so. That is why you find 80 year olds still working at Walmart.
I knew that having kids wasn't for me when I was 5 yo and got a 'Baby Alive' doll for my birthday. I clearly remember the horror within my soul when I went to change her diaper so I wrapped her back up again and returned it to my mother. As time went by, that decision became more and more clear as the right decision..... for me. My childhood friends still can't believe I never changed my mind. The only thing I regret was that the love of my life wanted a whole litter of kids so I finally had to walk away because of feeling genuine and selfless love for him. The saddest and most ironic part of this tale is that he ended up never having children as his wife sadly wasn't able to carry them to full term and then passed away from stage 4 ovarian cancer. It broke my heart as she was a remarkable lady and I was genuinely happy for him.
Huge respect for giving up the love of your life so he could have a family. Not many women do that, they would just give in. 👏👏
❤❤❤❤
@Chanel Fitzgerald that man deserved to have a dozen kids. What an amazing father he would have been.
I had a Baby Alive, I loved it (although I preferred my train set) - still don't want kids, though! ❤
My daughter doesn't want kids, and she's in her early 30's. I've tasted what it's like to have grandkids-- my boyfriend has 5 grandkids. It's like a blender with no lid. It's not how you think it's going to be, all you ladies who are craving grandkids. Different times, different parenting styles. Not how I raised my child.
I am exactly the person your comment is for 😂 I really want grand kids but you’re so right about parenting being really different now. I’d not thought of that! I imagine it can cause a real strain
As far back as I can remember I wanted kids…I finally became a mom at 42…it is the best thing I ever did! That being said, I respect other women who also knew as a young girl that they didn’t want children. Children should have parents who want them.
Respectfully I disagree with your statement of children should have parents who want them. If I had ever been in a position where I had to have a child I may have & then of course I would want them and love them. But as a choice no. No I’d rather not., so I didn’t.
@@taunyawren8020 I guess I should say people who want a child generally make better parents. My mother felt burdened by having kids, and while she was a good mother most of the time, we felt her unhappiness. I, on the other hand, wanted children very much, and enjoyed every minute of raising my son. We have a much closer and loving relationship than I had with my mother, and he has better self esteem because I made sure he knew how he enriched my life, and never burdened me. Too many parents use their kids as an excuse for not living their dream, and take it out on them in many ways. If you don’t really want kids, please don’t inflict yourself on them…you have a choice, but they don’t. A huge part of being a responsible adult making sure you don’t get pregnant if you have no desire to be a parent. We all know how babies are made…be responsible.
Well yes that makes sense. I was just thinking about all the people who got pregnant when they were not ready or expecting to as well as my own personal thoughts. I suppose it’s different for everyone. A very complex issue. Ultimately I’m just so glad we have choices now and also ways to help those who want children and have difficulty. Thank you for being kind.
COOL! I am really happy for you
62 no kids. Appreciate my friend’s kids, but enjoy my freedom and financial security.
I'm so glad you addressed this topic Frederique. It's quite a big one. When I was in my 20s and 30s it was the 1980s and 90s - no paid maternity leave. The guys I was dating told me they never wanted kids. My friends started having babies. I decided that probably babies were not for me after spending time watching projectile vomit, toddler tantrums and exhausted parents and later down the track the weekends taken up with kids' sports. I'm too selfish. I love my sleep. I love my travel. I love reading. I love my pets. When I finally got married around 40 friends asked if I was going to start a family and were rather surprised when I said no. Je ne regrette rien!
42 and childfree. I was also sure at a young age that it was not for me! Still have my mother telling me I will die alone, and no one will take care of me. I needed this video so much! and this kind of support. Thank you Frederique!
I'm 47 and get judged every single day. Just so fed up.
We are now living in the 2020s, it is about time people stopped prying into other people’s lives, as long as you are not causing any detriment to anyone then what’s the problem? 😕
I’m mid 40s, never married and knew in my 20s that I didn’t want kids (even though I have wonderful parents!).
I think it would be sooooo hard! Plus, I’ve seen the heartache so many good parents go through, and it seems the older their kids get, the harder it is!
As for marriage, I’d have to be totally in love, because marriage is a compromise! Childless and single is so peaceful… haha!
It's a personal choice, you choose what's going to make you happy. For me, I always wanted to have kids. As a female I wanted to experience being pregnant and carrying a child inside of me. I wanted to be part of raising little humans and teaching them values. I didn't want to just live for myself. Being a mother has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. My children (who are now young adults) are the most precious people in the world to me, they are my everything and raising them taught me invaluable lessons in life. They've grown into fine young adults, have achieved so much and have amazing careers and I'm so proud of them. Prior to having children, I still got to experience so much of life and achieve goals, I travelled the world, had great jobs/careers, met amazing people. Hey, if I'm going to live life I'm going to live it to the fullest by experiencing it all. No regrets!!
As a mom pregnant with my 4th in 6yrs (YOLO!), we are constantly side-eyed and too many comments about birth control. We are still on our way to being debt free and don’t withhold from traveling. Live and let live, be happy, childless or not.
I’m with you, passing down values and watching them grow is rewarding
49, no kids and no regrets yet! 🥳
I’m 52 now. I never wanted or had kids and have never regretted it 😊 Luckily, my parents and friends completely respected my choice, and I married a man who didn’t want kids as well. PS. Frédérique, your glasses are stunning!
I agree! where did you buy them!
Exactly the same! 51 and 11 months and married to a wonderful man who respects and supports my decision not to have kids.
Love this video Frederique! I was first married in 1967, at 21 years old. NEVER wanted kids! You cannot imagine the pressure back then!! I have lived a full and interesting life - and at 76 I STILL have no regrets! 🙋♀️🇺🇸🥰
I knew I wanted one child and felt it would be a boy which is what happened . I gave birth at 35 which is considered late . I did it on my terms and when it felt right. All this shaming and controlling a woman’s choice has to stop. It’s no one else’s business . People even ask me if I have grandchildren . It’s my sons choice as to if he even wants to be married and have a family. Some parents pressure their kids because they want grandchildren. It’s so selfish ❤️
My mother def pressures me. She doesn't get that we have choice. Honestly I feel lots more should have chosen against reproduction but that's none of my business right. I'm taking your approach of doing it when I feel happy, ready, and willing. Which is not now. And if it never happens, that's God's will.
It’s actually a very selfless thing to not have children and not to just “go with the flow” if you feel you don’t want them.
My mother hated children, had me and I think deep down always thought I was a burden. We both had a pretty miserable existence to be honest and both suffered.
I’ve had kids and love being a mum. We are all different. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent and not everyone is cut out to be childless. Either way, If it’s not what you want, it’s sad.
This is such an important subject to discuss. 👏👏👏 I was on the no baby side for the majority of my adult life and then one day I woke up and changed my mind. So I understand both sides. Even though I understand children can affect everyone around you as well completely change your own life, it’s no one else’s choice but yours. I have no regrets because I’ve always done what I felt to be right for me. People should just be respectful of free will. Thank you for making this video Frederique, looking forward to the next one.
No one should judge anyone’s choice period. But I think it’s just as insulting for someone to say that you don’t have a life just because you have children or you can’t be debt free because you have children. I think everyone should just make the choice that works best for them and mind your business😂 no judgement on either side.
I told my mom when I was young that I never wanted to have kids (or get married, but I changed my mind about that in my 20s). I'm 42 and still don't feel strongly about wanting kids. Sometimes I felt scared I would die alone, but that never seemed like a good enough reason to have kids. I always thought if I change my mind and I'm too old to personally have kids, I could adopt. So far, that day has never come.
We all die alone ! Even if family is near us when we die.The procces itself...is lived by OURSELVES.
I'm 59 years old and I have been called selfish for never wanting kids. I had a tubal ligation at 34, best decision ever!I have traveled and always loved my freedom!
Hi Frederique, I am a mother of 2 sons that I deeply love. I have always thought that every one is different, the world is diverse and everyone has the right to decide to have children or not and nobody has the right to tell you what to do with your life
Dear Frédérique, I could not be more on the same lines as you are. I agree 1000%. Ever since I was a young teenager I decided I´d never have children and in all the years I have never had different thoughts. To go through terrible pain, discomfort, losing your figure for good, gaining weight, sleepless nights, long silly arguments, total lack of free "my time", quarreling teenagers and possibly grown-ups who could not care less about me? Never. Instead of a life full of adventures, trips all over the world (private and business), a few great love stories, several interesting and good friends, parties, time to study 3 uni professions, and do work I love. Children, yes, but not mine. I have paid for the education of 4 children from poor countries. They are now grown up, have lucrative professions, and now their children are getting good possibilities. Please remember, there are so many orphans in the world, poor kids, who need people to help them and offer them a way to a better life. It can be very rewarding indeed to help and watch them. These are choices one person makes and there is no reason at all to listen to anyone else´s opinions, - mostly egoistic ones like: "But that kid isn´t yours". No, but we can love them just the same.
Good point! My dad was an orphan. There was an American couple that really impacted his life. They volunteered at the orphanage. Ur totally right that we dont have to have children to make a difference in people's life. I have even met this couple. By no means were they his parents. But the fact that he attributes them as enough impact to his life to keep in contact with them and introduce them to his children. God looks out for orphans. And he can do it through the child-free people who have resources, time, kindness, and care to give. ❤
Unfortunately that’s not true. The love for a human being you gave birth and care 7 days a week in the first years of their lives WILL never be the same. And only people that have children can say this… I have and would never change that for a few more trips around the world on my list of trips…and that’s just my opinion, so it’s ok if I have mine too
@joanaguedes1155 totally. There's no equating children you have naturally and care for their whole lives to children you have adopted midway and chosen to support. The love is different, but just as valid. The point is that u don't have to birth your own to experience love and the fulfillment that comes from giving to another. Is it the same? No! Is it valid? Yes.
@@joanaguedes1155speak for yourself maybe. Not all parents love their children unconditionally and many are emotionally scarred for life.
I am 27 and don't want kids. I am going to be the fun auntie, I look forward to babysitting my friend's kids and giving them back at the end of the day. Personally, I don't want to sacrifice silence, mental health, free time and money.
I actually welcome the questions about my decision to not have children, I see it as a great opportunity to share my experience and educate others. It does not hurt, offend or affect me in any way, why would it?
That's fine if they accept your reasoning and that you know what is best for you, but a lot of people just tell you that you don't know your own mind and that you will regret it - I'm perimenopausal and I still don't regret our decision. ❤
Same, I've always known and at 38 still haven't changed my mind and I don't regret it 🙂
Since being a mother I understand other women even more for not wanting to have kids. But I never regretted it and love this full time job ❤
Salut! Depuis mon enfance je ne voulais pas être une mère. Je ne deteste pas des mômes mais je veux garder ma liberté. Je crois que ceci est un choix personnel. Mes parents ont accepté mon choix. Ma mère est née en Inde et elle a vu de la pauvrété extrême, donc elle croit qu’il est plus important qu’une femme soit autonome que mère. Merci pour cette vidéo.
Same. I knew very early (around 10-12) that I didn’t want kids. I will be 36 this year and over the years my feeling about being child free only strengthened.
Maybe it’s because i have a 10yr gap with my younger brother and had to be a mother to him in my teenage years whilst my parents were working till late every day. So I kind of feel “been there, done that!” Don’t want any more of changing diapers, kindergarten drops, cooking, being stuck babysitting instead of going out etc etc.
Also, I assure you that women who judge others for not having kids are, deep inside, filled with bitterness and tired of their own life/crying in their pillow, JEALOUS of the freedom childless women have even though they often won't admit it even to themselves.
4 things overrated...Marriage; Kids; Pets and Home ownership. Its the lies we tell ourselves and everyone else b/c in the end, misery loves company!
All those things exist to prop up the economy by continuing consumer spending. That's basically the main purpose.
No kids for me. I love being child free and not have to worry about kids. I don't care if people think I'm being selfish. I can say the same thing about people with kids, such as they want kids so that kids can take care of them when they're older, so that they don't feel alone, so that they have someone to love them. Those are all selfish reasons to have kids. SO respect my decision to be child free and I'll respect yours. We all want different things in life.
I knew from a very young age that I never wanted to be a mother. So many people told me I’d change my mind when I got older. I’m 57 now and my 58 yr old husband and I agree it was the absolute best decision for us. I enjoy my nieces and nephews now that they’re adults, but when they were young I could only be around them for a very short time. I can’t deal with crying, screaming, vomit, drool, diapers and snot, not to mention all the property damage. I’ve left stores in the middle of shopping because my nerves can’t handle screaming and tantrums. Children aren’t for everyone. There’s currently 8 billion people on the planet. Plenty to make up for those of us that choose to remain child free. Great video!!!
Another horrible comment I received “people who don’t have children are emotionally immature” and “nobody could possibly know what love is until they have their own child”.
My daughter 21, has always said she doesn't want children. Even when she was a child. It's a little sad for me but I completely accept it. It's not my place to pressure her into something like motherhood. It's a decision that too many women take lightly and I completely agree many shouldn't be mothers. That said, there is nothing that compares to motherhood. I learn so much about the world and even myself listening and watching how my two children view things. I only wish you had also shared moments equally as amazing for parents as you did for not being parents. I've enjoyed watching my children learn incredible lessons, bloom and flourish, fall in love, and accomplish goals. It's not just changing diapers and temper tantrums. Also know, there's plenty of people out there like me who definitely respect the choice not to have children. We're usually the quiet ones. 😊
Over the years, I have had more people ask me why I don't have children, than I care to remember. I used to get a bit flustered and embarrassed, until I started saying "you are going to have to excuse me, but I don't discuss my uterus with outsiders!"..…. you'd be amazed how many people suddenly were embarrassed, especially men. Why do people think its acceptable to ask the question, let alone expect justification for your reply!
I'm 41, I was born with health isues so basically I learnt since I was 9/10 years old to consider living my life without children. It wasn't easy but I did my path from childless to childfree, I grew as a woman and now I totally agree with you and all the women that don't regrets living their live without kids and they have a wonderful and fulfilling life!!
To each his own. If you want children have them if you don't, practice precautions not abortions.
Hear hear! 👏
Well said
Most women don't use (I'm assuming you mean) medical abortions as birth control.
I'm 56 yrs. old and never wanted them and NEVER have I had a moment of regret. I love being an aunt and even last evening there were 5 little ones in the next-door neighbors back yard and I loved hearing the laughter of those children having the most innocent fun! It made me smile! That doesn't mean I needed one or missed out on having one. I stand by what I say. Great topic btw! I'm getting ready to travel in my campervan and I love my own company!
If they want women to want to have kids, they need to provide the resources needed to support them instead of expecting us to carry the load in this crazy world and economy. Who wants to work an 8 hour shift, never see your kids, come home, cook and clean like Cindarella and do it all over again!?!?
Yep. Sounds horrendous.
"Who will take care of you when your old? You will be all alone!"
Listen as someone who has been a carer; children are no garenty. It all depends on the relationship you had with them. You can have 5-6 children, but if you were a bad parent or they grew up to be indifferent, you will still die alone.
On the other had I have met elderly with no children, have old colleagues visit them regularly in the retirement home because they cared for them so much.
I knew I didn't want children at 8 years old. Never regretted it.
This. If you don't have kids you actually have to make an effort to be nice to people.
Married 50 year and still being judge for not having kid. Very happy and have a very supportive husband either way I chose Always asked if something is wrong or too selfish. Was ask at 50 if I was having children got soo mad sad didn’t want to be both parent and grandparents at the same time. Almost 70 and very happy never had children. Thanks love this video, not everyone if meant to be a parent and are not a fix for problems. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Choosing not to have kids is no more selfish than choosing to have them! ❤
While I was teaching, I saw many parents who really didn't give a damn about their children. The children were put into school holiday programs or child-care so that time didn't have to be spent with them. Parenting is an incredibly difficult experience. If people aren't prepared to put in the effort, they should not bring children into the world.
37 here. Can’t stand kids. Never ever ever had a mothering thought to them (but give me all the dogs!!!) my money and time are my own. Selfish? You bet!
Topic after my own heart, no kids, never wanted them, absolutely have totally respect for my friends and family members who are raising families, it's really not easy. I've also been called many things for not wanting kids, selfish tends to be on top of the list. As far as I'm concerned, I'm happily married with 3 fur babies, a successful business, no money worries, more sleep, freedom, and look the younger for it 😊
Having kids really does age some people
The guy who fixed my cable once asked me if I had kids and when I said no, asked what I was waiting for... 😳🙄
😂
If you think you're judged for not having kids just wait until you have them. It never ends. You're never good enough. People are always finding fault with the way you raise them. Either you put them to bed too early, or too late. Not feeding them correctly, not dressing them correctly,... etc..etc. It also becomes glaringly obvious the double standard that exists between men and women. Don't have them if you don't want them. Seriously, it's not for everyone.
Exactly. You can't win.
I always thought there was something wrong with me because I did not have the desire to have children. People really react as if you are really missing out on things. No, I think people are selfish when they say: when you are old, you will be alone. No, the way you are as a person is a very important factor in how your life is. Do you like having people around you? Of course, do it. Do you like spending your time by yourself, making yourself usefull for others, are you a nice person for yourself and others? That is what matters in life. Not all relations between parents and their children are positive. Be a good person for yourself and the people around you. That will make your life worth living. Not having or not having children. That is way too simple
It's good to see that there's more open conversations about it. No one questions a man's choice to not settle down/have children. It's a personal choice for everyone and no one has any business in someone else's private life decisions. You want to have kids? Ok. You don't want to have kids? Ok. You're not sure? Ok. It has zero effect on my life what you do with your life. Why can't we just learn to respect others and stay in our own lane?
I'm mid 20's, I love to hear about women who are successful and don't regret this choice! I really really want all of those things: freedom, to own my own home, travel when I want, debt free, independence, etc. I can't wait to reach those goals child free!
Oh my goodness ❤ I’m 25 no kids, don’t want them. I got sterilized a few years ago. I always think about when things are going horribly, how much worse it’d be if I had kids 😂 thank you Frédérique
very good subject Frederique. I've always wanted to have a child since I was very young and I absolutely don't regret it, but I totally respect women who don't want it, that's freedom, we choose our life.
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I am related to this subject so much I am over 50 and I knew since I was a little girl that I don't want to have kids so for people that judge me I always say "Not all the trees in nature are growing fruit but all of them have a purpose". And I also know that not having kids is the best decision that I made.
and for last remember that we are all a soul that has temporary experience as a human being and each of us knows what is best for himself! and for all the mothers I fully respect you for doing a very responsible job - bless you.🙏👍
I knew even when I was child that I didn't want kids.
Same!
I love this! I have never wanted kids, knew very young (I was about 8 or 9), and am happily child free at 37. I’ve heard it all - don’t I feel guilty not giving my parents grandkids, what if I marry someone who doesn’t want kids (I don’t want to get married either!), I’ll regret it, I’d make such a good mom, I’m being selfish, etc. There’s nothing wrong with wanting children, and I love my nieces more than anything, but there’s also nothing wrong with me not wanting to have children.
I’ve been hoping you’d do a video about this ❤ thank you
My husband and I decided we did not want children.. we are now retired.. in our 60’s no regrets…❤
I always knew I would never want kids since I was a kid. It actually is odd to me how many people want to have kids. For what exactly? I honestly just want to be comfortable and never have to suffer the child bearing pain and the non stop worries for my child. I just want to treat myself well.
I’m the same age, I have a grown up son, undoubtedly the best thing I could have done
However it does not make you complete as a woman, that’s down to you
Live your life the best way for you
I am 73, never had children, never really wanted them. My generation tried to push on me my worth by having children and being a home maker. The guilt and confusion of 'what's wrong with me' was for a while problematic. Then late 60's or so I read an article addressing this and realized I was not alone. It was such a relief. I do suspect that deep inside, I a. did not want the responsibility of possibly being a single mother (like mine mostly was, had two step fathers and a practically non existant, not so nice father that thank GOD my mother divorced) and b. not trusting any man enough to be the father of my children. I think, in this life, I just wanted a break so I could ENJOY life. Which I did and do. My current husband (am twice a widow) has a wonderful small family who have their own children. That is enough for me...they come out once or twice a year and we are in good contact. Perfect. I am still waiting for that 'one day when you are old you will regret not having any'! LOL!
I'm 26 and don't want kids!! I don't want the responsibility!! They are a life time commitment 😌😁
I am a caretaker,and i have a resident who's kids are not allowed to even see her,because they are a danger to her
No regrets here at all! Right after getting married in the 90's many asked if we were having kids & when replying no they said you'll be sorry & regret it or youll change your mind. Nope & theres too many people out there that certainly shouldnt have kids & they have 3 or 4
I had a child late in life. I’m happy I did. I totally respect women who don’t want children. But as someone else said having children don’t necessarily mean your life is restricted or boring. I’ve had an adventurous life (and it ain’t over yet!) lived in many countries and my husband and son have come with me always. I’ve to say though that I’m thankful that I grew up in a culture that made it possible for me to choose. Because motherhood should be a choice.♥️
As a mother of 2 sons...I have no judgement here about any woman's choices. You do you and I'll do me. What a see on CZcams is a huge growth of women CZcamsrs getting puppies instead of babies. Taking these puppies to restaurants , salons and treating them like human babies. Now that's weird. If you've ever had a dog or any pet ( I have had many over the years) you are more tied down, just as financially responsible and restricted in freedom. I'm an empty-nester now with lots of freedom and no regrets.
I had six kids between the ages of 21 and 29... I am 39 now and so incredibly happy. I get so much hate for having so many children so young and not having a job. My husband and I are debt free and have freedom to do a lot of things even with our family. Why can't we just do what's best for each of us??
So true! I respect your choice, even though its the opposite of mine. Both are equally valid choices, and as long as they're right for whoever is making them (and whoever is directly affected), no-one should hate that.
Having kids, or not, is such a personal choice, and every woman should spend as much time as necessary getting to know herself inside-out, so that she can make the correct decision for herself - they owe it to themselves, their partner, and any future children they may have. Do what you have to do to be sure of what you want. Regret (for anything) is a sad place to live, so do your best to be sure of yourself. I don’t know if I want kids or not, sometimes I know I do, and then I get scared and change my mind (the responsibility for another human life is freaky, plus, it’s FOREVER!!). Luckily I still have time to decide as I’m 26. I respect every woman’s right to live their life as they please, and I applaud a confident woman who knows herself well. Thank you for the video Frederique 🙏❤️❤️
I'll be 45 in August and don't have kids. In my family it's not so unusual, my Uncle has no children, my 2 cousins don't have kids. Out of the 4 kids of my generation in the family only my brother has children, and he and his wife are wonderful parents. I love my friends kids and my niece and nephew very much but I can give them back and go home to my cat! I always thought I would adopt as I had zero desire to be pregnant, but I haven't been in a position to so far. So I didn't completely plan my life but equally the fact I haven't got kids is not something I ever worry about!
l love you speak about this topic. Really needed to hear this. Thank you for sharing your story with us.😊😊
We vary in so many ways, so I don't see why 'to have or not to have children' should be seen as any different. Being a parent is a calling... For some, not for all. I respect people who choose not to have children and I respect people who choose to have children. The important word is "Choose". Being a parent requires passion and is not something that should 'just happen'. Others' lives literally depend upon you, so being a parent is not like careers that can be changed at will. I agree. Knowing yourself is so important. Never let other people's experiences determine your path. Just realize that their passions may be different from yours and that's a great thing, not something to be defended.
Disclaimer, I'm a mom to 2 adult kids. Having kids or not having kids is a personal matter, not for parents to pressure their adult kids to give them grandbabies. Not for friends and family to keep asking when are you having kids. The responsibility of childbearing and rearing is the parents, so keep that in mind. Have them, dont have them, your choice.
I love your videos, thank you for this one too. You are a joy to listen to - educated, opinionated and kind too
I don't see anything wrong with people choosing to have kids or to not have kids.
Not everyone is equipped to have kids, they are not a cat or a dog that you care for and allow it to run wild, we are talking about a human being that entirely depends of mum and dad as they grow up learning about the world around us and other people too! Having kids requires commitment and sacrificial love to an extent you never knew before then! They are a bunch of joy and also worries as they grow, and it is the most beautiful unconditional love lesson we can get in life.
So, for those who decide not to have children, it is okay! They have other interests and view of life, future, etc... I am always very respectful irrespective of whether you decide to have children or not.
Parenthood is too important a profession to undertake if you're not all in. So no one should be forced or badgered into having children. I do feel bad though when I see a couple and one doesn't want children and one does. And I feel bad when women who don't know if they want children or not leave it for too long and then have difficulty conceiving if they can conceive at all. Every child should be a wanted child. There are all kinds of parents. I'm a pet parent and proud of it!
😂Okay totally loved this video! Young lady in the black bathing suit and sunglasses, your parents are so fortunate that you can communicate your feelings. ❤
Also, if a woman or man does not want to have kids, they really shouldn't be forced into it. Depending on your circumstances it can be so hard. It makes you grow but, no one should be forced into it. Also, life brings hardships that make you grow with or without kids. The planet is stressed enough as it is from human demands and needs. So live life the best you can!🎉
More videos on this topic please! I used to want kids, it didn’t happen and it made me sad for a long time. Now I’ve embraced the life my husband and I live as child free people. I work with children and I wouldn’t do the excellent job I do with them if I had kids. I have more headspace and energy for it. Everything happens for a reason. People say such weird and intrusive things. Everything you mentioned in this video is spot on. Also, when I / if I have to pay for a carer/health aid in the future they will be a TRAINED professional.
When people say u will be miserable at 60 or 70 without kids I think they refer to being lonely. Many people get kids for egoistic reasons like security blanket for retirement. Nowadays in all the globalization, you can have 5 kids and probably most of them if not all will live far away and you will be still miserable and lonely at 60 and later.
Exactly. You have to plan for your own future.
❤❤❤great video, Frédérique! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😁 In today’s world no one should be judged for anything, especially for not having kids. I’m a mom of 3 and I cannot picture myself without my children. I am raising them proper and I meant to be a mom. ❤️😁👌🏻 Enjoy your life however you want, as long as you’re not doing harm to yourself or others. You’re given only one life to live! So enjoy it! 👍🏻😁😁😁
Hello Frédérique! Loved this video! I don't have kids but just like you I would love to be a aunt ... but I am not a aunt either ... but we must live with our choices and with what happen or not happen in our life. Thank you for the content!!!
So it's ok to say having kids is a living hell but it's not ok to say not having kids is living hell?
I have five kids. I have 14 grandchildren. I am free to do what I want. I love my kids, I love my grandkids, I love my independence (yes it took some time), I love my life. And if other women dont want to have kids, that's ok with me too.
I'd like a video of women in their late 60s and 70s talking about the benefits of being childless.
Kids or no kids always respect people’s choices 🥰Subscribe! bit.ly/2Z2kQr5
No kids!! Enjoy your life!!!!!
I want my siblings to have kids so I can be an auntie. But none of them (2 males) want kids either
I've never wanted to have kids and even though I got pregnant my "maternal instinct" didn't kick in after giving birth. I love my son, but motherhood has been nothing but struggle to me. I feel like I've aged tremendously because of that. The problem is I used to have plans and energy for 3 people, I was always planning and envisioning the future. There is no light in the tunnel at this point for me. I've been dead inside for years and years now, numb and emotionless.
I've always envisioned myself with a guy but NEVER with a child. I studied in medical school and had this clear vision wherein I have a husband who, just like me, doesn't want to have children but we both choose a career in science/medicine. I never managed to finish the studies. My son is nearly 18 now but I'm a wreck at this point, without a job I dreamed of and there's no going back to what I was before, for me it's as if 50 and not 18 years have passed, I don't know who I am any more. I've acquired so many autoimmune diseases in those years partly due to the fact that my son has serious heart disease and I sacrificed my life to care for him, but also because my marriage didn't survive all this and that we've always struggled with money, CONSTANTLY. The only thing I'm grateful for is that my son is a very calm, cultured and pretty happy young gentleman with exceptionally high IQ and great friends. Hopefully he will do well in life. I do wish my son all the best and I love him very much but if I could turn back time with the knowledge I have today I would never EVER do that to myself. I do believe this is healthy egoism because everyone wants to survive and thrive and we all have that thing called self-preservation instinct (I don't consider altruism a virtue). Sending love to all women struggling the same way and thank you Frederique, as always, for talking about important subjects xxx
This! Some women come out unscathed but many as you pointed out end up ruining themselves. You also can't trust the father will always be there to support you and the kid. It's such a gigantic risk I honestly don't understand how people do it considering all the things that can go wrong.