I Cried All Through My HONEYMOON.. | Expectations vs Reality of Marriage | Muslim Couple | The X's
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- čas přidán 28. 07. 2024
- In this video, we talk about the problems we experienced on honeymoon surrounding intimacy, virginity, gender roles, first arguments, and doubts over our marriage. We also discuss other expectations we had going into marriage and the reality of what marriage turned out to be, including issues such as trust, mental health, jealousy and navigating around the opposite sex after marriage.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Intro
1:52 - Going on honeymoon straight after marriage and crying, missing family and home
2:55 - Going from living with women to being alone on holiday with a man, adjusting after marriage
5:15 - Feeling like we made a mistake getting married, regrets and doubts
7:55 - How gender roles affected our honeymoon, women vs men, couple dynamic
13:28 - Feeling like my husband didn’t respect my opinion or views. Falling out, arguments and objective truth
17:37 - Not trusting my husband. Convincing my wife to trust me. Does marriage equal trust?
19:35 - Seeing men cheat on their wives. Men think about sex all the time. Women flirting with my husband
22:50 - How marriage affected my mental health. Depression. Past traumas. Anxiety.
26:06 - Expecting marriage to be more difficult than it is. Marriage reality
Check out some of our other videos:
This Happened On Our Wedding Night!! Virginity, Intimacy, Dating + More
• This Happened On Our W...
I Stopped Wearing Hijab For This Reason!! Femininity, Double Standards + Hijab Bans
• I STOPPED Wearing Hija...
Ethnicity Q&A | Interracial Marriage, Telling Our Parents + Awkward Questions
• Ethnicity Q&A | Interr...
CONTACT US:
email - sufyanxamara@gmail.com
insta - @thexs.official
- @amaratheninja
- @whoissufyanx
#OurHoneymoon #MarriageProblems #ExpectationVsReality #Anxiety #TrustIssues #MuslimCouple #TheXs
Wow this is such an important video, thank you so much guys for being so candid with your experience! We don't often hear of these things that happen right after marriage. For us muslim couples, it's really hard because we are not encouraged to spend too much time together before marriage (which I do agree with as that's the islamic ruling) and this means that the first few months of marriage are really the time we actually 'get to know' each other. My husband and I decided to only go on the honeymoon a few months after our wedding for this exact reason.
Really enjoyed this conversation and looking forward to more ❤
I wish we had done this, Arika! Maybe I would have cried less and enjoyed more 👀🙈 it is such an adjustment straight after, everything feels so foreign and different.
Thanks so much for watching and commenting. ❤️
- Y'all are a blessing to what marriage is - I'm sure you both give hope to many people that there is a companion out there for them - May Allah draw us nearer to Him & in the beautiful and natural provision of companionship - ASA - 🙌🏼
🥺❤️ Ameeen! Such a lovely comment. Thank you bro 🙏
What a supportive husband, raised well
I agree 🤗🥰
Massive like on this video! In approximately 29mins, I've learnt that marriage is definitely team work! I've also heard that the 1st year of marriage is harrrrd. I am glad y'all made it through the first year...ya'll are a beautiful couple!💙
Yh man 1st yr is hard or even wen u move to ur own place, the real personality comes out x
So happy you enjoyed the conversation. First year was a lot of us figuring out our dynamic and what we did and didn't want in our marriage. I feel like that year can be make or break for people. Second (going on third) year is way easier alhamdulilah 😂🤲👀
Thanks for watching, Elaria. Lots of love to you ❤️
Wow, guys! I'm in my 40's & this is some wise & deep conversation from young adults! Interesting & thought provoking
That means so much to us, hearing from you. Thank you for watching! 💖 Really glad you enjoyed the conversation. 🤗 X
I appreciate the transparency, love, and humor that I can't always expect from the X's! You guys are amazing. Sufyan, " I'm not a boy, I'm a man!' I literally hollered. The love, and the way you look at Amara is such a sweet thing.
Amara, my sweets! You crack me up constantly. She will be good next time... Take my girl back to Morocco 🇲🇦
Love yous! 🥰
❤️❤️❤️❤️ He feels very strongly about being a man, evidently. No Peter Pan here. 🙅♀️😂 & Yesssss, take me to Moroccoooooo 💃🤣
We love you too xxx
My biggest question or worry regarding marriage is: i'm an extremely independent person and find the most comfort being by myself. Being around anyone other than my siblings and parents makes me stressed and anxious. How will i find more comfort being with someone than being with myself? Does my personality make me physically incapable of the vulnerability needed for marriage?
i love you guys May Allah Bless you alwayss
THIS
That's what I think most of the time
Don't get married
you are going to find inchalah someone that makes you feel comfortable , inchalah , we are all in poor, there is no giving up because of your personality, trust me I am the same, but we need to trust allah
I used to be Exactly like you. I was never going to get married. I thought I would live by myself for the rest of my life (but with a pet or two). Why? Because I had always felt extremely independent and comfortable by myself. Growing up, some girls criticised me for it, saying: "She's always by herself. She's always alone." And I was like; Ehhh. What's her point? I do not need company for every single task I'm doing in public. I know there are people who can't stand being by themeselves. If they dont have their girlfriends, they need a boyfriend to take everywhere. I never cared for boyfriends. In fact... when one guy tried to get to know me and spend time with me. I didnt want to. I cut ties with him. Preferred to stay at home most of the time. I was so sure that I was going to be independent for the rest of my life. Nothing about that made me sad.
And years later I met my soon to be husband. I'm a revert to Islam, Alhamdulillah. Allah protected me from so many things with my independent ways of thinking. Because I also didn't care for partying and such things. I liked being at home. I cared for my independency... until I met my husband. Suddenly I did want to spend time with someone. Even if it's just an hour spent in silence. 😊 Yes, even silence is comfortable with the right person. There's peace. Companionship is golden if you're with the right person.
Allah made everything in pairs and he is the best of planners. Subhanallah. Inşallah you will be reunited with yours when the time is right. Don't worry.
What's crazy is that I was literally going through their old videos cause I was so bored and thought let me rewatch them boom notification in ....I just love them 🤣🤣😘
That's so sweet your watching our old videos! 🙈❤️ Glad we swooped in on time for you 😜 & WOOO you got notifs turned on! 💃💃💃 Lots of love to you x
You two have done some amazing "work" to navigate your relationship. It is absolutely beautiful!
Thank you, Kim! Xxx
Thank you so so much for having these open and honest conversations all while being respectful, you guys are really killing it with your contentt 💖❤💖
Glad you enjoyed it anum ❤️ thanks so much! Xx
Hats off to you for begin such a great husband, some husband cause their wives to develop mental issues.
❤️❤️❤️
Haven't watched yet but so excited each time. I love your positive energy, laughter and wisdom!!
😃 Thanks Muntaha! You're always so sweet to us xx
i feel so enlightened and energized after watching your video. i am not muslim or christian but i do like your teachings about being a human being and generally learn a lot about how to be in a relationship and how to be a good person from you two. it's so nice to have you guys as an example and to learn how you work through things. how to look at things with a loving eye, get through it without damaging yourself. so thank you
Lol nah the create a new account took me out😂😂😂 I am so happy to hear you guys are at peace and at ease and supporting each other's happiness in your marriage and also sharing the experience so others can know that it's not always difficult and it doesn't have to be at all. Marriage can be a beautiful, thing as it should be. I pray we all get this experience and I pray for never-ending bliss for you guys in union 💕
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was not ready! He cracks me up too. 😂 Ameen to your duas/ prayers, sis. 🤲❤️ Marriage is a journey and I pray we all have marriages filled with compassion, ease and lots of laughter 🤗💖💖💖
Amazing experience all this. Goes on to show how much/little one knows their spouse at the wedding. But its great that being patient helps along.
Masha’allah it’s so beautiful to see you both navigate your journey. Learning growing together. When you know and recognise your both on the same team is everything. May Allah almighty grant you both a beautiful marriage and journey. ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I feel this could help a lot of people. I’m glad that you sharpen one another insomuch as you draw out the best in each other.
Thank you, Nicole. 🤗❤️
Absolutely loved this!
Thanks for being transparent and for sharing! Great discussion
Thank, Ruth! 😃🤗
I love these types of videos not that I am not obsessed with everything you guys do 😁😅
It's the reflection and the leanings that are so valuable and especially educational for those of us who are yet to be married.
I love the way you present all this in such a genuine and honest way which shows how strong you are.
جزاك اللهُ خيراً
May Allah fill your marriage with many years of blissful happiness here and in Jannah. امين ❤
Ameeen, thank you sis! That's so nice to hear you love our chatty videos. We're still babies on this journey but I pray that sharing some things along the way can be useful to others. There's so much I wanted to know or hear about before marriage and when I'd look for videos, I never found what I was craving to know. 🙈
Lots of love & cuddles to you 💖
You guys cover really good topics. Keep up the great work...
Thank you 😃
I love this video so much it really opens your point of view about marriage. Thank you so much may Allah bless your marriage, Ameen. I feel like this is something that others can really relate to so I really appreciate you guys sharing your personal experiences.
Ma sha Allah
Allahumma Barrik
May Allah continue to bless you guys and your marriage.
May Allah continue to use your marriage and your channel to showcase the beauty of Islam
Love you guys. May Almighty Allah continue to bless your union. Amin!!
Ameeeen 🤲 Lots of love to you, bro!
May Allah swt protect you ❤️ watching this video made me tear up because I haven’t seen such maturity in a marriage before
May Allah swt bless you and ease all your affairs ❤️🥺
Ameeen 🤲 Awwwww 🥺❤️ that's so sweet! We're mature until we play wrestle 😂 (I always lose 🙄) x
I just want to say- but you both are such a beautiful couple. Something about the way you both talk- it eases a lot of my deep anxieties and fears around marriage and sharing a life with a man...there is a gentle care that you approach these topics, and I hope that with time, and i can feel brave enough to walk into a marriage with faith that I can take upon the tests and trials...and that I too can say, its been a breeze being married. We can prevent so much, try and be as aware as possible, but the true test is how you manage things in the moment. I remind myself of that when I start to spiral thinking of all the permutations of problems in the future. I really relate to Amara in that way...but to be with a man who walks you through all those anxieties- its truly a blessing. Blessing to you both and your marriage.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I had a lot of anxiety before marriage & I think it's a lot to do with the person you choose and what yous agree to together before getting into it. I hope the person you marry offers you the sweetest, warmest comfort and that you are good for each others growth. ❤️
So touched to know our little chats ease you somewhat. I really enjoy these kind of videos as it's the kind of content I wish I stumbled on when I wanted some answers and reassurance.
Thanks so much for watching and commenting xxx
Awww I have to say I truly loved that video and there are so many things I can say about it that I loved!
🎀amara I loved how sufyan didn’t take offence to the fact that it was hard for you to trust him, I think that shows the beautiful foundation of your relationship!
🎀amara I also love that you brought up the topic of mental health because it’s true mentally we change after we get married, and it is a lot of stress but I’m glad you two are able to confined in each other!
🎀 I also love the comparison to baby photos!
When we are babies we are so pure and naive, the whole world is rainbows and butterflies. And our smile is the most nostalgic thing in the world! But as we grow and learn how the world isn’t as pure as we thought, that smile starts changing… that’s why I love how you mentioned that you smile now like you did when you were a baby! Because it shows that you’re truly happy!
One thing i love with you guys, is that you guys all ways keep it real. And that you guys have a honest conversation, that us other People Can learn .Although im not married , its benefit us to listen. Bless u guys❤️❤️❤️
I'm so glad you liked the convo, sis ❤️ & if there was only one thing we can be thought of, I'd be glad it's 'real'. Nobody is perfect and we're all works in progress. No shame in that and no reason to hide or lie. I hope our stories bring some comfort to you before marriage. There's so much I wanted to know and would've benefited from knowing before. I like that we chat about this stuff too! 💖
This was so beautiful MashaAllah. I love that you are such a good team and support system for each other. This is very rare. I hope that you stay this way for the entirety of your marriage and remember to give thanks for this massive blessing. MashaAllah. Thank you for sharing. I didn't believe this existed.
Thanks for been so honest about everything, I am really learning about the Muslim way. I can understand Amara feelings. But we all can see that you both got true it and you can laugh about it. ❣🇬🇧🇯🇲
Oh gosh Guys! Your openness is remarkable… So special.
Thanks, Jheanell! ❤️
This is really comforting, thank you guys for sharing it. It’s good to know that the unpleasant expectations can be unmet too.
And I do have a question, why aren’t you guys wearing wedding bands or rings or anything?
Like for Sufyan, aint nothing gonna repel those girls like a wedding ring 😂
❤️❤️❤️ I'm so glad it was comforting.
We'll defo talk about wedding bands in our Q&A 😜 ohhh I hear you, sista! 😂👀
Allahuma baarik. Y’all inspiring!
❤️ super kind! Thank you
wow am learning alot from this....thank you so much for sharing
💖
Awesome conversation
And very important for New couples
Thank you!
Even though I'm not married, I'm still a teenager ,I can relate to Amara so much, because a lot of girls who are going out into the world feel similar, Love you Amara 💛 may Allah bless you and always keep you laughing Ma sha Allah
Awwww I think so too, Momana! I feel like we all feel really similarly going through the journey and don't comfort each other enough. Ameen to your beautiful duas 🤲❤️❤️❤️ lots of love to you xxx
Another beautiful video 🧡
🤗❤️
beautiful to hear u guys
I can relate to this. My husband and I wanted to just spend time together around family...my mil encouraged us to go on a 'trip' together.. And I wanted other family members to come along..this was 1 week after we got married. My brother and my husband's ten Yr old nephew accompanied us to a hill station in muree.. And it was freezing cold.. But, we got loads of great pics together.. And I did enjoy it.. This was 27 yrs ago. 😁 Your welcome. ❤️
I'm early today...blessed Sunday Tall building and Sand storm🥰
❤️❤️❤️ Hey Lisa!
I feel you gurl! I always wonder how its like to be married and feel comfortable and seems unimaginable being single hahaha
Couples like you give me hope for a succesful and loving marriage MashAllah. Please make dua for me🥺
Yessss! I worried and wondered about this so much before...like HOW!? I worried so much about insecurities etc too and what that's like married (future video iA). Married life is so private and unknown when you're single. It's nice to have a bit of comfort before stepping into it 😂❤️ and you are in my duas 🤲 x
inshaAllah you will have a happy life happy husband and you will easily adjust steady and gradual.
Ma Shaa Allah.
💖💖 Ur chemistry
Alhamdulilahhh 🥰
Have been ur supporter since day one never commented under ur videos and I wanna say mabrook to u babes that u found ur soulmate and may Allah make it easy for both of u and this a video is a hope for next generation may Allah bless u guys ameen x 💕
I'm so glad you commented!! 😃❤️ Ameeen 🤲 that is so incredibly sweet of you to say. Thank you so much for your generous words 🙈💞 so beautiful. May Allah SWT bless you too xxxxx
I cried for 3 days on my honeymoon when we visited my husbands village in Mexico. He described it much differently to me so I was expecting something more. Also my Spanish was limited and I tried really hard to speak to his family and they would laugh. I thought they were laughing at me - years later I found out they were nervous and that is why they laughed. At this time my husband was not supportive, so I spent 3 days by myself crying. The good part is we spent 1 week at a resort and 3 days exploring Mexico City.
I'm glad you're still married as it means hopefully you managed to work through it all ❤️ it sucks when you try hard (even out of your comfort zone) and it doesnt go well 😞 it definitely grow you though. I hope you had some good times on honeymoon aside from the crying ❤️❤️❤️
@@TheXs.Official the rest of the honeymoon was wonderful! We’ve been married over 29 years!
This is again a beautiful video. I like getting to know you and with each video I learn so much more and like you even more.
My question is : Who said 'I love you' first?
Thank you ❤️ & Ooo, good question! Xx
23:53 Everything Amara says from this point onwards is so beautiful. If a man doesn't make me feel like this he can keep it moving.
🤗❤️❤️❤️ I pray he does 🤲🥰 xx
2:04 AMARA LOOOKSSS SOOOOOO GOOD, TABARAKALLAH, MA SHAA ALLAH. Pleaseeee we wanna see more of you with no makeup, you look soooo good💕💕💕
Awwww 🙈 thank you sis. My skin had been so temperamental since I stopped the pill and after the miscarriage. I'm still learning to love it while it's testing me 🙄😂 xxx
@@TheXs.Official awww sweethearttttt, it’s definitely gonna get betterrr😘😉WE LOVE YOU LIKE THAT💕💕💕
I cried on my honeymoon because it was my first time alone with a man and i had never experienced it.
Wow mashallah Amara you are so lucky to have a wonderful kind understanding husband. May Allah bless you abundantly inshallah xx
So lucky alhamdulilah. Ameen wa iyyaki! Thank you sis 🤗❤️❤️
I can relate to this so much!! Such a down to earth couple mashAllah may Allah protect you
❤️❤️❤️
You guys are the best❤️
Thank you, Maxine 🙈❤️
Oh this is going to be a good one.
😃 Hope you enjoyed it!
@@TheXs.Official I always do
Such a beautiful couple MashAllah ♥️
Awww 🙈 thank you, Muniba! That's kind of you to say. Xx
Great discussion! For the Q & A : Is it ok for a Muslim man to follow non mehram women whilst married? 2nd Q. What do you guys do if one of you slacks off prayers & who wakes up who for fajr, do you guys pray together? Whilst outside how do you pray together?
Ooooh! I love these questions. I've added it to the Q&A pile 🥰
I honestly love u guys may allah bless u guys
Aww you guys!! Masha’allah I love the way you manage to work through your issues - marriage isn’t easy but Alhamdulillah you love each other and want it to work out - many couples don’t talk things through and end up shouting and both feel unheard - actually if we just talk things through and come to a compromise, most things can be resolved - yes, most of the time you may end up going with the mans point of view but ultimately the husband takes the responsibility- I love the way Sufyan cares about Amara’s mental health and wants her to be happy - Sufyan, I admire you wanting to be a good man, husband and father (very soon insha’allah) and Anara you are so cute and full of excitement- may Allah swt bless you both with the very best in this world and ultimately togetherness in Jannah- Ameen
Ameeen 🤲❤️ I totally agree. There can be so much resolve if things are communicated calmly and well. Marriage isn't *always* easy but it can be crafted into something blissful and filled with ease. Life is hard enough and comes with its own tests. May we all have marriages that are filled with blessings for us and not more tests. 🤲 We're still early in our lifetime together so I pray we keep getting better together each year, in shaa Allah! 💖🤗
Thank you for your beautiful duas for us, they are really appreciated. 🥺❤️
loved the video
Yaaay! 😃❤️
I love y’all! My name is sufyan too lol
Mad respect to both of you! And thanks for the insights into marriage this is amazing!
Salam
Cuties made for each other Mash'Allah 🙂 Stay blessed!
🤗❤️❤️❤️
@@TheXs.Official Love you guys for the sake of Allah 🤗🤲 🤍🤍🤍
Mashalah i love the way she says my sufyan❤
It's our pleasure to watch your videos
🤗
Omg, amara ur amazing! Soufiane, can you please tell us a bit more about how your mother and father raised you? I have a son and I really want him to turn out sweet and good like you!
MasAllah so cute😍
💖
U two inspires me ❤️❤️
Awww, thank you sis ❤️
@@TheXs.Official ❤️❤️
MashaAllah watabarakAllah🤩
❤️
Awwwwwwwww so many cute moments mA :)
👍👍👍 for both of you
Thank you 🤗❤️
Great video
Thanks Amehra! 🤗
Your home is blessed
❤️❤️❤️🤲
Sister Mashallah you have beautiful skin can you do a video showing your skin care routine 😍
This reminds me of Bridgeton 😊 when the first daughter got married.
I loved watching this video!!! May Allah help us all in this world. Ameen. Cant w8 to watch ur next video
🤲❤️ ameen sis 🥰🥰
Mashallah beautiful couple 😘
Awww thank you, Lailah 🙈❤️
first marriage is always nerve racking ......it is gets easier on 3rd or 4rth. i kid, i kid.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I always wonder, can Sufyan speak urdu since he is half pakistani? For your Q&A video can you both do a little clip of you both speaking urdu?💖
Sufyan speaks more Urdu than I do 😂 and good idea! We will speak a little Urdu in our next Q&A in shaa Allah 😃 xxx
Assalamu alaikum! I really enjoy your channel. I am a Christian woman married to a Muslim man. What are your thoughts about having multiple wives? Before my husband and I got married, he said that was something he wouldn’t do. However, over the years, he has made reference to it. It is not something I’m comfortable with. I’m just curious what your thoughts are individually and as a couple. My husband and I will be celebrating 10 years of marriage this month.
W/Salaam sister. Thank you for your comment. We’re both happy to hear of your ten marriage but also sympathise with the situation you find yourself in. I (Sufyan) have no interest in marrying anyone other than Amara. I only ever wanted one wife for this life and the next. I personally wouldn’t entertain the thought of a second under any circumstance. Amara would also not want this.
In terms of the ruling, it seems many people misunderstand the verse and context of marrying multiple wives. I plan on doing a video on this amongst other misconceptions soon, as it is a little long winded to explain on here.
If I did want to marry another woman, Amara would leave and she would be within her rights to do so. And, as I mentioned above, it isn’t as straight forward as just marrying another woman. Certain conditions have to be met which the majority of Muslims marrying multiple women do not meet. I will push this video up the list and in shaa Allah help to give you some comfort with this topic.
@@TheXs.Official Thank you so much for taking the time to read and answer my question! I look forward to seeing the video.
Masha Allah
Nice couple 👍.
❤
Bruh girls nowadays are way more confident than guys from what ive seen. Girls i came across scared the crap out of me - they seemed way too excited and forward which i found very off putting as a practising muslim. I prefer a girl who is more like me, just real chilled and calm, but girls ive came across were hella loud and jumpy seeming like they are mad thirsty to fulfill desires rather than being mature and sensible
Why u guys called the X’s?
We'll add this to the Q&A! 😃
❤❤❤❤
Do Muslim men wear wedding rings.
Masah allah
God, i want a hubby toooooooo
Ahhh it sounds like Ammarah was so innocent and nieve when she got married 😅 she didn’t know much about guys
YUP. 😅😭🤣
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
I hope youre both well by the mercy of Allah. I like these types of talks because as a young man i feel i can learn alot from Sufiyan اللهم بارك. if you make more of these videos id really appreciate it and im sure others will aswell إن شاء Allah
Yea, you guys did it backwards. Usually you court, learn about the other person and decide.
You guys got married and started courting after that.
We courted for a year before deciding to get married. There are some things you don’t learn until you’re married and living with a person.
الحمدلله رب العالمين
❤️
Ok I think I know what your favorite colour is lol
👀😂😂😂😂
That's such a strange reaction to have. I hope Muslims girls don't watch this and assume this is normal
This is a very normal reaction, sister. People react to the same situations in different ways. Virginity is something that some people have cherished for the majority of their life, and losing it can be a confusing time. Many Muslim and non-Muslim girls have reached out to me and told me they felt exactly the same way. Obviously it doesn't last forever but it's a lot more normal than you might think. 🙂
Learn the deen from the real scholars, either shave your head bald or keep it long altogether. The Prophet (ﷺ) forbade cutting some of the hair and leaving some (of the hair) and this (hairstyle) is included in that (prohibition) since it portrays the head in a certain shape, (making it look) as if he took bits and pieces out of his head. Secondly trim your moustache and let the beard grow. Thirdly: keep your marriage to you and your wife. There's no need for others to know.
#OurHoneymoon #MarriageProblems #ExpectationVsReality
I Cried All Through My HONEYMOON.. | Expectations vs Reality of Marriage | Muslim Couple | The X's605
Hello. Very educative. May I call you please?
Jodieeeee 🙌🙌🙌