Dude by the very nature of it, the thing you're advertising isn't skill based, it's just gambling. And not even gambling you can have any effect on like some card games. It's entirely reliant on how strangers perform, with far too many unpredictable variables. Unless you have a time machine, you might as well set your money on fire
@@charlierose934There's a funny legal loophole where you can just _say_ something is skill-based, introduce a modicum of user influence to the process, and be legally considered as "not online gambling". I'm probably oversimplifying, but that's the gist of it.
It is exploitation, the kids are making the money and not seeing any of it. I've always been more anti than pro, but after the person in Utah got arrested running a channel like this and actually abusing her kids, i am wholly against it and should be on the no publish list for CZcams, or if it is allowed on YT, YT must stipulate that there is an account for each of the kids so that they can also benefit from it.
The fact that her analytics would be showing her what got more views, and the demographic of the audience... Legit, mostly old men, and I don't even want to go in on what kind of videos would get the most hits, but it would be very obvious that the audience is disgusting
I cannot STAND mommy influencers. Some children born from about 2010 and later have become "accessories" of a sort. Like, they're good for showing off to complete strangers, or they're just props in momfluencers' little stage shows. Kids are people who have feelings and personalities of their own. They will eventually grow into adults who will resent their parent(s) for making them playact for strangers. OP is definitely NTA.
Accessory-children is not new to the internet. Where the child reflects on the parent outside the family. "seen and not heard" comes to mind, but that's a slightly different phenomenon.
I'm so sick of "be the bigger person". The person being told that is usually already the bigger or better person, because they're not the ones behaving like an ahole. And the person saying it just doesn't want to deal with the actual ahole
Yes, OP has apparently put up with the niece's bs for years and hasn't make a major issue of it to 'keep the peace'. It's ridiculous to expect him to invite this toxic idiot into his house for an indefinite period. But for the fact that they are related no one would think this made any kind of sense. Besides, she's 20 years old...not 10. She can find her own solution.
I'm fairly certain that "Be the bigger person" is supposed to be in times where conflict is bound to happen, but will only start once one side commits. So 'be the bigger person' is meant to be 'don't be the instigator'. Though sadly, people abuse this just like people abuse the 'customer is always right', they take out the context it's meant for to bend it to get their way. So it's almost always a way to say 'look, just let us have our way, this keeps the peace' when all it really does is make it worse because you conceded defeat and let them walk all over you, so now they think they can do it as much as they want.
It's because they think the one not being an A-hole are more likely to comply and stop pointing out the issue so they don't have to deal with it. It's more effort to get the a-hole to stop being an a-hole. So instead they just want you shut up so they can ignore it and so they don't have to feel uncomfortable by being reminded how the behavior that they allow effects other people. THEIR comfort is all they give a flip about, you "being the better person" is simply viewed as the easiest solution to maintain that.
that's what i was thinking. But I think the underlying problem is James (barring some details, like maybe there's a reason he needs to be tightass, like story4. would be funny if James is OP from story4).
James looks like an AH. He's making at least 500k, while his wife makes 25x less, and he refuse to share a penny with her, even during an "emergency" when she needs a hotel room for the rest of the vacation (sure it was her fault, but still, the guy is loaded).
Story 3: "2 yes, 1 no" approach is relatively good, but in my opinion kids shouldn't be blasted on social media period. Yes, a post is fine to keep track of memories. But monetizing your children, especially when it's both parents that do this, make the kids' life a living hell. It's totally an invasion of privacy, inappropriate and puts the kids at risk.
it really depends on what kind of content it is. Is it just standard posts about special events and such? 2 yes, 1 no is a fine approach. But if it is something like the wife does? Then it is just a flat no. Not even if the two parents both agree is it a good thing and should be stopped. Using kids as props to social media for attention or money is just flat out child abuse.
Exactly. My facebook relatively private and I post their pictures here and there but I would NEVER use my kids to make money. I KNOW how much these family channels make and how easily but I refuse to feed into. My kids don't even watch channels or videos involving families and children. I just hate it.
20 is DEFINITELY old enough. I turned 21 last month but can say that bigotry isn’t something that can be excused at that age. It started when she was 14 and should’ve stopped then and there but no, her bigotry knows little bounds.
Yea seems some kids just act homophobic cuz they get not consequences it’s sad (just like the kid that decided to comment on my shorts telling me religion is an excuse for homophobia) it’s on one of my shorts if you want to shame her lol
@@sunglowwolf-7917 And being a Christian is NO EXCUSE for being homophobic either. You don't have to agree with their lifestyle being "godly" or anything, you just have to be kind to them and treat them like human beings. God loves them as much as He loves everybody else, sinner or saint, which is why He sent His only begotten Son to die for us.
@@VicGeorge2K6 You disagreeing with their so-called "lifestyle" (its not a lifestyle, its part of their biology, thats like saying I live a white lifestyle because my skin is white) is still bigotry, just benevolent bigotry. Sorry, but you either accept that they arent wrong for being gay, or you're a bigot, its as simple as that.
@@VicGeorge2K6 the girl in my situation is Muslim or something lol I don’t think Christian beliefs will get through to a different type of religious person like that.
If the kids are young enough to have temper tantrums, theyre too young to consent to being vlogged. There was a teen whose mom was a youtuber with content revolving around being a mom. Kid ended up getting a hoodie they wore constantly, and even got their siblings (who eagerly wore them too) stating "i do not consent to being photographed" and virtually imploding the mom's channel.
I agree, kids young enough to have temper tantrums shouldn't be on videos. That goes for the overgrown child too, with the kinda temper tantrum that "mom" is throwing
Because it's so much more convenient for them and they don't want to deal with all those icky hurt feelings. And especially don't want to have to take a look in a mirror.
It's an implicit admission that they know the other person certainly isn't going to be reasonable, but they're not willing to take the fight that comes with holding them to account.
Because it makes people uncomfortable whenever a strong person stands up for himself/herself. They want to push the strong person down. I refer to it as demanding they be a doormat for bad people.
story 2. rSlash misread the story. 'james' is not an AH, it was his mother, not him that blamed her. sounds like he did exactly what he should have done to not be an AH to OP.
Story 1: The whole "young and naive" argument is garbage. My TEN year old found the homophobic comments awful (and he's HALF her age). Definitely NTA. The niece is a terrible person.
The Bill: NTA - What kind of crazy, sexist, narcissistic behavior is that? Ugh! What a turn off. Can't say I'd want to be sleeping with someone who treated me like an ATM.
Exactly! I'd stay clear of those harpies going forward and be damn clear with the wife that my salary isn't her friends' spending money. If they can't survive off of the good will of others perhaps it's time to consider getting jobs a.d take a class in budgeting. It's 2023, time to shed that old sexist crap.
I also feel like this is what happens when you have a toxic friend group. I cant imagine doing this to my partner or my the partners of my friends. It just seems like high school mind games. Funnily enough, people who have this mentality never seem to want to apply it to themselves. Whether its men insisting their wives do the housework, raised the kids and work, or the women insisting their husbands be the "provider" while they have a maid and order takeout every night.
@day_dreamer9316 Agreed. The thing that's been bugging me lately and maybe someone can give me some insight into it. Have yall noticed the first thing people say when you don't wanna pay for something is to call you broke? Like the dude in the story wasn't willing to pay for their wife's friends meals, so that must mean he's broke? I honestly see that get thrown around alot on TikTok too. Like when people don't wanna send gifts to the NPC streamers, people just say "if you're broke, just admit you're broke" or something like that. How and when did that become the thing people use as an insult? Also, I know there's a chance no one will read this and give me an answer. But if anyone does and made it this far, thank you. 😊
Children's faces being on social media is EXTREMELY dangerous for so many reasons There are too many creepy and terrible people that now have access to your kids faces It's damaging to always have a camera in your face That content is on the internet now, forever, in one way or another I am 100% against people showing their kids in online public spaces With family and friends is different but don't show them off to the internet
See, this is exactly what I've been telling people. It's fine if you just post, like, a cute pic here and there, but if you're sharing videos that include children's very personal/vulnerable moments, there's the risk of hundreds of creeps latching onto your kids. It's just a bad idea all 'round, and while yes, it sucks that this is the case, the unfortunate reality is that the internet is infested with horrible folks.
Reminds me of how when these types of content creators upload a video of their kid in the bath or something, the number of downloads/saves for the video _mysteriously_ goes up into the tens of thousands, or even more. It's gross.
It gets even worse when the kids are from a school that wears a uniform that sports a school crest. A simple freeze frame plus google lens can easily locate the school/neighborhood of the kid. This essentially primes a situation whereupon a predator could easily find and take the kid.
saying she is "young and naive" at 20yo as an excuse for homophobia is insane. i remember arguing with my 5th grade math teacher because she was making very homophobic comments (don't remember the context). how can an 11 year old child be smarter and more mature than a grown woman? she is ridiculous
@@ladytasha1986 It's probably true. When I was a young kid I challenged a racist thing my sister said and my mother responded in an equally racist way. I didn't know what racism was then but I did know what they were saying was mean and unfair. Point is, plenty of children are intelligent and humane enough to instinctively know right from wrong.
Third story, I'm honestly 1000% on OP's side. Not even including the current 8 Passengers nuclear fallout, putting your kids on CZcams like that is super sucky for the kids, *especially* if they're too young to consent. On top of that, instead of actually listening to her husband, she went behind his back and used the kids anyway and badmouths him? That's *exactly* the kind of person that shouldn't be making a channel like that. OP should download all the videos as evidence that she went behind his back on it and get ready to separate with the kids. No mother is better than an exploitative mother.
This type of content has never worked out well for the kids involved. We've seen how bad it is for well over 10 years so I dont understand why theres no crack down on it.
@@RisingRevengeancethere’s no crackdown because it’s too lucrative. Parents and social media companies alike are getting paid and that’s all that matters to them 🤷♀️
@Sanodi21 You are so right except for the last sentence. Unless you meant it sarcastically. There are lots of mothers better than an exploitative mother.
Third story. Divorce her. She explicitly ignored your boundaries. Then she -started a smear campaign- committed slander, when she didn't get what she wants. She obviously cares more about being an influencer than your kids' welfare. She is only going to get worse. Get out. Now. Before she does something to your kids, and _you're_ in jail for child endangerment.
With all the weirdos on CZcams nowadays, I'd be more cautious about putting children on the camera for everyone to see and making sure you have the kids' permission to do so.
What demographic do you think watches these children focused videos. The fact that children's videos get the most hits when they're bathing suits or in the bath is disgusting. Also her analytics would show her how many OLD MEN are watching her children.
Last story: who is going around shaming OP for having cancer? Who has ever blame themselves for getting a disease they never wanted? There's more to this story, people don't say stuff like this for no reason and something going on that OP doesn't know.
My guess (the charitable part of me anyway) is that the MIL thinks that if she got cancer then she would feel guilty for making her family sad, so she assumes OP does too. Which would make her very unhelpful but not necessarily an AH.
You don't know very many humans, do you? There absolutely _are_ people who _will_ blame you for getting cancer. Like I understand if you smoke... that's like a thing, but some people think you can get cancer from eating too much sugar, or meat, or drinking too much, or whatever they personally don't like. It's somehow become a weird extension of purity culture... in _some_ circles. That may, or may not be the case here, it's hard to say based on the minimal context.
I think in-laws could benefit from attending a support group for those who have loved ones with cancer. I got the impression from the story that they want to be supportive but don’t know what to say.
Some people are raised to say something -- anything -- to break an awkward silence. Many times it's the right call, but not always. It's a tough habit to break, and it usually takes a rebuke to make it stop. This was MIL's canned "sorry you have cancer" reply, and she probably didn't even know she'd already said it until the husband said "no shit." Knowing you'd live another two more declining years with your MIL saying that over and over is enough to make anyone snap. Love you MIL, but please stop.
Unfortunately probably a few people. But cancer and diseases are not your fault. Sure, there are some life decisions we make that can lead us to be sick. Like drinking and smoking carrying too much weight. Those are bad decisions. But we all make bad decisions. Sometimes some of us are just unlucky enough that those bad decisions catch up with us and sometimes we're lucky enough they don't. Edit and maybe this could be mother-in-law doesn't know how to comfort someone in that situation. Let's be honest, a lot of people wouldn't. There's never anything wrong with just silently being there for someone and letting them tell you what they need. Offering to do specific things and then following through with that offer. Letting them see through your actions. Not your words that you're there for them.
First one: I'm 25 myself, but since I was like 13 I already knew what OP's niece don't: being a homophobic douche means getting rightfully blasted for it. 20 is old enough to know that, and her mother is stupid in saying "she's young and naive". No, she's prejudiced and is getting what she deserves; Second story: I don't get what OP's mom is on about on kicking everyone out. Lindsay was the one being a douchebag, neither James nor the kids deserve to have their vacation ruined because of Lindsay's stupidity. Also if her mother wants her to stay with James and the kids so much, she could very well pay for her own daughter's hotel room.
@@JamesDavy2009 It isn't uncommon - seen it with every genaration after the boomers - they're all about independence, unless it benefits them, then all of a sudden they want it handled like 70 years ago.
Story 4: I mean, you can make fun of all of them for being a bunch of cheap ass gold diggers, then talk about how most of the women you know don't rely on a man to pay for their food. When they start to claim your being sexist to them ask them why is it okay for them to have gender-based expectations but not you? Who cares what her friends think you are not your wife's dog, you did not know nor agree to pay for all their food that's the end of the conversation.
Story 4: Only acceptable responce imo would have been “sure, i’ll pay, you will all be sleeping with me tonight right? You wana play old timey games, win old timey prizes” Op you’re NTA and your partner kinda sounds like a gold digger.
Let me explain it to the niece using a very simple formula: Frick around = find out They really should have covered this in high school, but I can see how she missed it with her head shoved so far up her own butt.
Story 3: Notice how not one word out of her mouth (or RSlash's, no offense) is about the kids? SHE built this (off the backs of her kids), it's HER dream (that hinges on her using her kids for content), and now she's trying to lie and cut off OP from the kids, because he dares to put a hard line down and keep his toddlers out of a space notorious for child exploitation, abuse, and an audience full of hidden pedos? Yeah, no, forget lying to OP, this is a matter of protecting the kids from ending up like the so many other kids of "mommy vloggers"/"family channels" before them. It's absolutely time to lawyer up, regardless of whether that's to divorce her ass or legally force her to take down the content featuring minors too young to consent to being filmed and put on the internet or both.
Story 3: given all the recent controversial issues with “mommy vlog content” (ie 8 passengers) and p-words, I think Op is justified being angry that the kids faces were shown. A slight work around would have been to learn to blur out the kids to protect their identities but not showing them all together would have been much better. The wife can’t get upset just cuz OP did. She crossed the one boundary that she shouldn’t have After finishing the story: DIVORCE HER AND TAKE THE KIDS!!! SHE IS A LYING MANIPULATIVE WOMAN WHO WILL CONTINUE EXPLOITING HER KIDS AND PUT THEM IN DANGER!!!
@@lorilancaster5917 that too. Plus the kids will grow up eventually. If op divorces her and she gets the kids, she’d feed them lies as to why the divorce happened. They’ll see these videos and inevitably reach out to know the truth. Plus once someone starts mommy vlogging, all interactions with their kids will become “transactional content” and the kids will always feel like they HAVE to share all their issues/privacy with the world. That’s not a good environment to be in growing up
A great work around I saw was this social media channel that does skits for 'almond mums' (Clearly satire.) You never see the kids, but you do hear their voices. They're in on the joke and are having fun... plus their privacy is maintained.
I would have told the mom in the first story that she is happy to leave and join her daughter if she is caring about her daughters struggles. Gotta Love people who tell others to be the bigger person yet allow their children to continue being the little turd they are. Something that Mother isn't as supportive as she says she is. Maybe tolerant is the correct word. Since it seems she's okay with homophobia as long as it's from her children
Story 3: So the wife, rather than listening to family concerns about Their children, acts like a teenage brat and blasts her husband on social media. Her behavior is so toxic and she needs to grow up
Story 3 : No, and I absolutely abhorre all these people who not only put their kids up as products for people, exposing them to direct danger but also those who pull the "narcissist" card as soon as it turns sour. Cut that off, she lied to you and exposed your children to danger. Then, if she wants to keep that up and set you up online, you know what to do. Eff these people. Story 4 : Wait until she faces any kind of "womanly obligation". She will surely change her tune.
I don’t like these channels bc I’ve seen MANY stories of children being stalked and talked to by strangers and friends parents in schools, parks, public areas bc of the content they post I won’t even mention the amount of pedos on tiktok that save videos of kids in these parent accounts and comment disgusting things
Story 2: The sheer amount of jealousy that SIL has against OP is stratospheric. Not only would I have kicked her out of my house, but I would kick her out of my life, permanently. There’s no excuse for her behavior.
Story 1 : NTA.. lesson 1 don't bite that hand that wants to help you.. You get what you get if you do that.. 20 is not " young and naive " if the niece was 10 ok then but 20 is old enough to know better and when someone tells you to shut you shut it.. if the mother has such " strong feelings " about this situation then she can go as well live with where the daughter is living .. Story 2 : NTA.. op invited Lindsey into her house and Lindsey has the Gall to disrespect op in op house .. well Lindsey "hit the road jack don't you come around no more no more no more no more hit the road jack" 🎶🎶🎶 .. james just needs to divorce that toxic witch and move on because her commenting is gonna get him into a lot of trouble with lot of people.. The more i think about it the more i think Lindsey got lucky that she could fly home with all of her teeth in her mouth still.. Story 3 : NTA.. kids are 50/50 between the parents if one agrees and the other doesnt agree to put that kind of content on CZcams then you dont do it until its a 100% decision.. plus with all the creeps on youtube the wife is exposing her kids to the chances of being kidnapped or physically hurt by jealous people..100% op should get the videos and the channel flagged and start looking for a divorce attorney.. Story 4 : NTA.. Annual the marriage immediately.. your not this "ladies " husband your an ATM to her.. also dump those friends and go LC with your hypocritical parent as well ..nahhh rslash op hopefully soon to be ex wife get 4 out of 5 a hole points for marrying op and wanting him to only pay for everything..also op "friends" and "family " get 3.5 out of 5 a holes for being hypocritical jerks.. Story 5 : NTA.. Thats one final jab by those jerkoff in-laws and now hes being gaslight into being an a hole ?? Do not apologize op because what the in-laws are doing is laying in the knife final few times before you pass on..nahh rslash you misunderstood the in-laws she clearly meant it by after getting the response she runs to everyone else " wahhhhh he was so mean to me wahhh" the inlaw gets 3 out of 5 a hole..
Just tell the eldest daughter she'll have to deal with the gay sex in the middle of the living room three times a day and the Saturday night orgy. But seriously. No, she gets to go deal with the consequences of her actions--somewhere else.
And if it bothers her so much, she can stay in a hotel and support her horrible daughter. Hopefully soon the insurance settlement will begin and everyone can move out of OPs and husband’s home.
It's always like that with assholes: they constantly bully and belittle you but the moment they need something from you - "be a bigger person". Yeah how about NO?
I 100% think the mom is homophobic too but just hides it. Kids dont just randomly get insanely bigoted when they have 100% of their close circle be accepting. Also, if your kid has been like that since she was 14 and you didnt make a point to heavily correct it until it stopped, then youre complacent.
I think OP has been the bigger person for years by not making a bigger fuss about his homophobic and rude niece. Also she's 20, not 8. Nobody is obliged to house her for free.
"She's still young and naive" I knew better at half her age Bill story: "You married a man who can't pay the bill" I'd like to see you throw down a few hundred dollars at the last second because everyone would rather be sexist than pay for themselves or split
That’s what narcissists do: they project their own behavior/guilt onto the people around them. They can’t understand that other people actually have more altruistic feelings and morals; it’s simply not in their wheelhouse.
See, here's the thing, you can promise that your husband will pay the bill for your friends as long as your husband actually AGREES IN ADVANCE that he will pay the bill for your friends.
I hate hate hate “family vlogs” where they show their children’s faces. They can’t consent to being filmed and also the thought of weirdos watching their videos solely for the kids creeps me out.
The story about the bill is hilarious. OP is not obligated to pay anyone's food except for his wife. With that being said, since she went behind OP's back and promised her so-called friends that he would take care of the bill, I'd dump her to the curb since she shares the same train of thought as her entitled friends. I would never put myself in a position where I couldn't pay for my own meals. OP's wife and her friends are for the streets and they're probably single because no one in their right mind would agree to this ridiculous request. Also, OP is not a broke husband because OP's wife's broke friends can't take care of their own ish. Bye😑
And apparently OP is less broke than their bfs. But who bets none of them can keep a guy?
Před 11 měsíci+1
OP is not obligated to pay for his wife either, he's nice to do so, nicer than I would've been in that situation if my girlfriend was dumb enough to pull a stunt like that. I'm better off, financially, than my girlfriend so I'm willing to pay for certain things so we can do nice things together, but that is a privilege that can, and would, be revoked the moment she acted that entitled! Imagine a man acting that entitled to a woman's body! _"But I promised my friends that they could do you too..."_ For some reason I doubt she'd be sleeping with him that night... or ever again! ;-)
For the wife influencer story; Divorce her and then take the kids. She’ll have plenty of time to be an influencer then and she can’t post about the kids ever again. Win win!
Unless the court finds the wife the be a threat to her children, OP wouldn’t get full custody. And once divorced, ex wife can post her children all she wants because she won’t need OPs input. So divorce isn’t a good option. Maybe couples counseling. Likely won’t work either since the wife doesn’t think she’s at fault.
in the first story, I feel like the niece is hearing those insults from someone else. and I have a feeling it may be her mother. because no 14 year old is inherently homophobic, and if majority of the family is not homophobic, it has to be from someone she's close to. we don't have enough info to know how the parents deal with the homophobia at home, but at least one of them is not doing anything about it. in this case, it makes more sense that it would be her mother, since the brother understands where op is coming from.
My bet is that they go to a homophones church. The parents might be sensible enough to tune out that rhetoric, while dumb enough not to think about how hearing that nonsense might effect their kids. Regardless, the parents are responsible, since she must have gotten the attitude from them one way or another
My first thought when I heard it was "she had a secret crush on OP at 14 and her reaction is from repressed shame and anger". Not an excuse by any means, but might explain how a 14yo suddenly turned into a raging homophobe without any obvious outside influence. Of course, at 20, she has been feeding that inner wolf for years now instead of facing her truth.
I’m almost 90% sure that OP’s niece is secretly gay or bi and she feels like she can’t come out because of her mother’s influence. It could be that OP’s SIL is feeding into a lot of internalized homophobia on his Niece’s end, which would make the most amount of sense. Maybe OP can meet up somewhere where he can pick her brain with just the two of them present, really get her to open up and get to the root of her animosity. Which I’m almost guessing is partially jealousy of a relationship she’d want but feels like she can’t have 😐
Content creators who use their child(ren) need to be legally held to the Coogan Law. It's a child labor protection law that requires a percentage of child actor's earnings to go into a trust that they can access once they turn 18 to keep. Legally, their earnings are owned by the child, not the parent.
Story two: Something tells me Lindsey shows gold-digger traits and THAT'S why her husband doesn't contribute to her shit. But also, this is the relationship dynamic her and her husband chose. OP and her husband are comfortable with their dynamic and there is NOTHING wrong with it. Lindsey is jealous and if she wants that dynamic to change, she needs to talk to her husband. She absolutely doesn't need to insult you and your family for what works for YOU. I would have kicked her out THAT NIGHT. Bye.
Agreed. Ten bucks says Lindsey is a spender and tried to convince hubby she should be a SAHM but hubby said no. There is nothing wrong with a stay at home spouse as long as both partners agree to it. Some families find that works for them and others do not.
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 horrible woman who had a family vlog detailing how she would abuse, I mean “ discipline” her kids. Recently arrested for child abuse and neglect
Story 3: Absolutely not! I am horrified that people put their children online. They can’t enter into contracts, they have no authority to make decisions about their lives, you risk having perverts stalking your children. There are too many things that can go wrong. Plus your wife flat out lied to you, how can you ever trust her again. Did she hire an attorney for the children?
In the second story, James actually deserves 0 out of 5 buttholes, since _he_ didn't turn around and blame OP for kicking her out. If you go back and read that part of the story again, you'll see that she said "Both my mother and James's have said I was wrong for kicking Lindsay out". James's mother is the one blaming OP, not James, and the very next sentence supports that.
Honestly, OP shouldn't take down the videos on his wife's youtube. That whole channel could probably be used to get him primary custody, especially any clips where the mom is shoving a camera in the kids' faces while they're crying
Maybe OP could record/save the channel content some other place, and then take the channel down. The kids’ faces NEED to be off the ‘net to remove them from danger!
Rslash, i reccomend being SUPER CAREFUL About betting and gambling sponserships. A ton of people have gotten in HUGE trouble doing that. Don't want to see it happen to you.
Pro tip: Whenever you hear "skill based" in reference to anything relating to betting/wagers, it's not. This is a legal loop-hole that gambling outlets use in USA, because "games of skill" aren't treated as gambling. That's why they had that really hilarious demonstration where the demonstrators were fed lines by a gambling company, and they marched around yelling "GAME OF SKILL! GAME OF SKILL!"
I’m 21 years old and I knew that bigotry is not ok long before I turned 21. If she still doesn’t understand that bigotry is wrong at 20 years old, then she’s beyond help.
the homophobic niece one - If I was in OP's shoes after they begged and begged like that to let her move in I would have said yes, but I will not be insulted in my own home. then sit down with the whole family (other kids included) except the niece and tell them you are bringing her here so you are responsible for her, if she says / does 1 hurtful / homophobic thing you are all out. Then the mom will either shut up or god forbid the niece has to learn to not be a POS to the people literally putting a roof over her head. OP is NTA no matter how you cut it though
I would tell niece she would have to write an essay regarding every letter involved in the LGBTQ+ community, their positive influences, and report about an influential person under each category. It could be typed but it has to come from the heart. Oh! And unlike what I did, niece cannot abbreviate LGBTQ+. She must include everyone categorized in that community
@@RealCoolstriker64 the reason I wasn't including the niece at first was because I would want to give the rest of the family the chance to reject the idea and accept that the niece cant move in without her present to pressure them or get mad at them. She would of course be informed of the rule and be forced to agree to it b4 moving in
Story1: Being honest, I can see why the niece is still behaving like a petulant child. Her mother believing she should be consequence-free because she's "young and naive", her freeloading at home at 20 years of age, her believing having to stay with a friend rather than with her parents (presumably because said friend won't pick up after her)... Yeah. No issues with OP not wanting her in his house, and she's hardly either a helpless child nor left with no options, so no problem there. But I see the mother (father's attitude unknown) babying her being a much bigger problem than just her attitude to her uncles.
Story 3: OP explains in an edit that they actually both agreed not to show the kids' faces early on and the wife simply disregarded that agreement. In particular, OP is upset because their 2yo's tantrums revolve around not wanting to wear clothes, so she's often shown wearing just diapers.
OP1: She's a grownup. You're not denying shelter to a child. Her mother is trash for suggesting for a bare second that you accept it. As ever, "be the bigger person" = "shut up, bow down, and accept the abuse." Tell phobe cousin to get a damn job.
Story 3 - NTA I hate “family influencers” after the Asshole of 5 and Evil Witch of 8. I also argue that it should be three yess and one no. I feel the kid should be able to say no too
Story 4: Your wife can’t just assume you’ll pay $500 for her friends. It’s not unreasonable to ask if you have that kind of money, but it’s extremely unreasonable to assume. If your wife doesn’t learn to communicate with you then your marriage should probably be reevaluated.
Sadly hatred isnt always taught and learned. Sometimes people are just hateful of things they dont understand. Also, "She couldnt have known her actions have consequences!" Well its WAY past time for her to learn! Thats life lady!
rSlash, todays sponsor is not only a highly rigged maths game (NOT skill based at all), but it promotes gambling which is being targeted towards younger audiences like teens and college students. Don’t accept these types of sponsorships, they’re all sorts of bad.
I would make sure I get a point across everybody I don't care if she's on social media. I care that my kids were on there I asked her not to do it to tell me she wasn't going to do it then went behind my back and did it and I would post that everywhere. She's using our kids to get attention for herself.
You miss read the story about the wife who went home early. It wasn't James that got mad at OP for sending her back it was James' mom. He's a half brother and she wrote that line kind of weird. James didn't need that .5 score.
Story 2: Dabney, you misread the fallout by one particular piece: James wasn't blaming OP, he didn't once say anything about it being OP's fault. It was both of their mothers who did. "Both my mother and James's" OP is referring to James' mom, but you misread it as James himself. James gets 0/5 buttholes.
Story 3 op did the right thing almost every situation of a CZcams family leads to disaster whether it’s the kids getting abused/mistreated for views or they become such an entitled and spoiled brat they’d never have a real friend nothing good will come out of that CZcams channel
I hate family vlog channels like the ones in Story 3 that shove cameras in kids' faces all the time! (Note: there ARE some family channels that don't do this but it is rare!) We are seeing the culmination of this with the 8 Passengers channel right now and what putting everything out there does for young kids... The worst part is unlike child actors who HAVE to put money into a fund (Coogan Act) for them when they are older family channels don't have that same protection... So parents can exploit their kids for content and don't have to save ANY of that money for them after stealing their childhood. Let kids be kids!!!
Ah, that's the name of the law. Thanks for bringing it up because I was sure I remembered there was something like that for child actors. It needs to be broadened.
1st story NTA. She's an adult. She's old enough for the consequences. 2nd story NTA. 3rd story NTA. Child exploitation for CZcams content is a terrible thing, especially if you It's also dangerous for the kids because you don't know who's watching 4th NTA. If my SO tried to do this, we wouldn't be together after... 5th NTA.
The story with Lindsey getting kicked out while her family stayed.... James deserves no butt hole score. It was his mom that was saying they shouldn't have made him choose. James did nothing but defend OP
You misread the second story, James wasn't mad at OP, his mother was. James defended her then had no opinion and he didn't blame her. The story said "both my mother and James's" you missed the apostrophe.
Story 2: Long ago I read a magazine article where a working mother, whose husband had a better paying job (but not an extremely high paying job), did the math. Take her salary, deduct taxes, child care, commuting, professional attire, etc., and she found she was working for $800 a year. The working mom in this story has even less reason to work. She could easily not work for money and volunteer to keep herself active. That family dynamic is messed up. Not sure if the husband is demanding the wife contribute financially, the wife defines her worth by being able to contribute financially, or both.
2nd Story: She has every right to kick out someone who you invited into your house and they literally shit talk you as a guest. If I was hosting someone and they belittle me, especially in front of others then that is definitely a kicking out moment for myself.
Last story: how about people just ask what that person needs to feel better? Like how is blame the first thing people assume when someone is sick? I’m on dialysis and people assume that I’ve been a drug addict or an alcoholic, but the truth is I was born with kidney failure. It was just a matter of time when my kidneys failed. Was it my fault to be born this way? Make it make sense.
In the second story, I think you missed that James isn't the one criticizing OP. He's been 100% supportive of her decision. It's his mom that was arguing about it.
Honestly, with story 3, there is a law now that says that family channels with kids HAVE to give their children a cut of that money or they risk getting sued by those children and having their channels torn down. Because the parents aren't sharing the profits with their children.
I think, he should invite his niece, be extra nice to her and be extra affectionate with his husband! If the kindness doesn’t kill her, the trolling will.
The story about op and his wife who went to a nice restaurant should have had the check split between op and his wife and her friends so that her deadbeat friends could pay for their own meals not op himself
Misread the second story a little when giving that rating. It said “my mother and James’s” were upset, so I think it was James’s mother who was upset, not James
She’s likely projecting because she sees how OP is taken care of while she has to pay her own way. However she refuses to see the work OP does since it doesn’t come with a paycheck. And other than Lindsey, it seems like some form or another people agree she was out of line. James agreed, MIL is just deliberately obtuse, and OPs mom recommended was overkill.
100% she's jealous, OP doesn't work (a job, still does the whole SAHM thing) and they split their husbands fun money. Linsay has to work to then get significantly less than her husband and likely OP.
Story 1: NTA. She's an adult. Actions have consequences. Not only that, but its your house, OP. Your house, your rules. You dont have to let anyone stay with you. Niece gets 3/5. Mom gets 2.5/5. Story 2: NTA. Lindsay needs to learn humility. OP's relationship and money isnt any of Lindsay's business. OP is right for only kicking Lindsay out. James defended OP. Dabney, James didn't blame OP at all. It was James's mother. I think you missed that. 2/5 is fair. Story 3: Overwhelmingly NTA! Not being controlling or narcissistic. If divorce does happen, don't be surprised if she tries some underhanded tactics to get full custody, OP. Best of luck. Wife gets 4.5/5 and if the kids arent getting a cut at all, 5/5 for stealing from her kids. Story 4: NTA. Promising something from someone without even talking to that person beforehand is disrespectful. Right off the bat, I knew thats how it would go. I definitely don't think this is divorce territory, but the wife definitely needs better communication skills. 1.5/5. I hope the friends or the wife paid the remaining balance. Story 5: NAH. Dabney said it best. I have nothing to say more about it.
Story 3 : The minute someone accuses you of being controlling to their friends as a way of brow beating you, that should be a divorce. That accusation could ruin your life.
It wasn't James, who blamed OP for kicking his wife out, it was his mother. James was 100% on OP's side and didn't pay for a hotel so his wife could stay. Just pointing that out cause he got 0,5 points cause r/slash can't read sometimes.
5th story: I mean... who doesn't get sick and tired after hearing the same thing twice or more. OP telling them "no shit" for the obvious predicament is deserved. NTA
3rd story: Do not put your kid's lives on social media. End of story. Your kid's lives are not a product for you to make money from. There are countless story from kids of "influencer" parents who as adults hate their parents for the shit they put them through. I would advice OP's wife to read some of those and see if that's a future she's comfortable with.
*First OP:* Why should OP "be the bigger person" by letting a h0m0ph0be stay at his and his husband's place? Also, at age 20, OP's niece knew what she was doing/saying and meant what she said. OP is NTA. *Second OP:* Like the First OP's niece, this OP's SIL learned the FAFO principle the hard way. OP is NTA. If James divorces Lindsay, let me know. >.> Also, James didn't reprimand OP for kicking Lindsay out; his mom did. *Third OP:* _reads title_ This ought to be good. _reads story_ OP is NTA. Not wanting your youngins on camera does not make you a controlling narc. *Fourth OP:* Did OP not notice, or ignore the red flags his wife set off, or did her mask stay on until dinner? Or, did OP's wife simply have an L take? Either way, OP is NTA. $700? Nah, Dude. Not unless you're James from the second story. Even then... *Fifth OP:* My heart goes out to OP and his family. His in-laws comment _was_ insensitive (or at the very least, stupid). OP is NTA.
The last sorry: YES YES YES! When I got diagnosed with a chronic illness the constant “comfort” I got was infuriating and suffocating. There’s only so much of self-soothing comfort you can take from others.
The kids on social media post: the fact is that the first thing she did was to go on social media and call OP over controlling, and narcissistic, rather than actually talk about it shows to me that she cares more about doing this then how people will see or even treat OP. If I was an OP’s position, I would get ready to leave at that point, or at the minimum demand marriage counseling.
I remember that Dabney showed just a photo or two of his daughter when she was an infant when he was explaining that he's a father now. And that's all it should've been. Showing what you do as a parent and including your kids if they're older and comfortable with it, if they aren't comfortable with showing themselves but can just use their voice is fine too, and maybe pics of when they were younger if the kid is older and consents to it. Im ok with all of that.
Yeah with how the world is today I'm hiding any of my children from social media until they're 15. And I'm adding a keylogger just in case. No pictures online if anyone wants pictures they gotta be in my regular contacts. Too many pedos and psychos in the world
If the husband of the influencer is spreading lies about her husband on tiktok or youtube, the husband could definitely sue for slander. And he should. Also, the MIL of the last story had good intentions but it could have been handled much better. I think both parties should apologize.
3rd story- OP is 100% in the right. What that mom is doing to her kids should be classed as abuse. It can really screw up the kids if you're not careful. Some places are now passing laws that if you make content with your kids, you must split the profits with them and put their cash into a trust for when they come of age.
13:47 I hate it when people complain, "how dare you embarrass me by breaking a promise that I made on your behalf!" All I can say is, "how dare you make a promise on my behalf in the first place."
My thoughts exactly, the only thing OP needs to have second thoughts about is his marriage. There's no way I'm shelving out 700 bucks+tips for ourselves and her friends. Also, let me guess, it was the wife's girl friends, and not another friend couple...
Go to PrizePicks.com/reddit and use code reddit for a first deposit match up to $100! #ad
promoting gambling
Dude by the very nature of it, the thing you're advertising isn't skill based, it's just gambling. And not even gambling you can have any effect on like some card games. It's entirely reliant on how strangers perform, with far too many unpredictable variables. Unless you have a time machine, you might as well set your money on fire
@@charlierose934There's a funny legal loophole where you can just _say_ something is skill-based, introduce a modicum of user influence to the process, and be legally considered as "not online gambling". I'm probably oversimplifying, but that's the gist of it.
no thanks, this ad is very untrustworthy.
I cracked up when I heard the words "skill based." Fantasy sports cling to those words like their bible
Kids should not be posted on social media… kids cannot give informed consent.. if you cannot get fame without kids… FAME IS NOT FOR YOUS…
It is exploitation, the kids are making the money and not seeing any of it. I've always been more anti than pro, but after the person in Utah got arrested running a channel like this and actually abusing her kids, i am wholly against it and should be on the no publish list for CZcams, or if it is allowed on YT, YT must stipulate that there is an account for each of the kids so that they can also benefit from it.
@@ScorpiusZA.yup and kids should not be allowed to watch Family channel promoting unattainable lifestyle
OP is a king for standing so firm on this
Of you're talking about morality here, ok cool. Just understand that legally a parent can give consent for a child to engage in any legal activity.
The fact that her analytics would be showing her what got more views, and the demographic of the audience... Legit, mostly old men, and I don't even want to go in on what kind of videos would get the most hits, but it would be very obvious that the audience is disgusting
I cannot STAND mommy influencers. Some children born from about 2010 and later have become "accessories" of a sort. Like, they're good for showing off to complete strangers, or they're just props in momfluencers' little stage shows. Kids are people who have feelings and personalities of their own. They will eventually grow into adults who will resent their parent(s) for making them playact for strangers. OP is definitely NTA.
Same.
Accessory-children is not new to the internet. Where the child reflects on the parent outside the family. "seen and not heard" comes to mind, but that's a slightly different phenomenon.
@@mrlugh Child stars have been around forever, that's true.
@@squeaktheswan2007it’s just far more accessible now because anyone can become an “influencer” since all you need is a phone to record with.
I agree. Especially in view of recent developments in that part of CZcams, it's just not okay to essentially exploit your children for monitary gain
I'm so sick of "be the bigger person". The person being told that is usually already the bigger or better person, because they're not the ones behaving like an ahole. And the person saying it just doesn't want to deal with the actual ahole
Yes, OP has apparently put up with the niece's bs for years and hasn't make a major issue of it to 'keep the peace'. It's ridiculous to expect him to invite this toxic idiot into his house for an indefinite period. But for the fact that they are related no one would think this made any kind of sense. Besides, she's 20 years old...not 10. She can find her own solution.
It's telling the person to be a doormat for awful people. Nope! Not doing that.
I'm fairly certain that "Be the bigger person" is supposed to be in times where conflict is bound to happen, but will only start once one side commits. So 'be the bigger person' is meant to be 'don't be the instigator'. Though sadly, people abuse this just like people abuse the 'customer is always right', they take out the context it's meant for to bend it to get their way. So it's almost always a way to say 'look, just let us have our way, this keeps the peace' when all it really does is make it worse because you conceded defeat and let them walk all over you, so now they think they can do it as much as they want.
Absolutely. This "Be the bigger person"is utter BS.
It's because they think the one not being an A-hole are more likely to comply and stop pointing out the issue so they don't have to deal with it. It's more effort to get the a-hole to stop being an a-hole. So instead they just want you shut up so they can ignore it and so they don't have to feel uncomfortable by being reminded how the behavior that they allow effects other people. THEIR comfort is all they give a flip about, you "being the better person" is simply viewed as the easiest solution to maintain that.
Lindsey in the 2nd story is def jealous of OP for not working and esp if her husband makes so much and yet refuses to take care of her
Absolutely.
also when Dabney said James was upset, he misread the end "both my mother and James' call me a AH" as in James' mother
that's what i was thinking. But I think the underlying problem is James (barring some details, like maybe there's a reason he needs to be tightass, like story4. would be funny if James is OP from story4).
Facts!
James looks like an AH. He's making at least 500k, while his wife makes 25x less, and he refuse to share a penny with her, even during an "emergency" when she needs a hotel room for the rest of the vacation (sure it was her fault, but still, the guy is loaded).
Story 3: "2 yes, 1 no" approach is relatively good, but in my opinion kids shouldn't be blasted on social media period. Yes, a post is fine to keep track of memories. But monetizing your children, especially when it's both parents that do this, make the kids' life a living hell. It's totally an invasion of privacy, inappropriate and puts the kids at risk.
it really depends on what kind of content it is.
Is it just standard posts about special events and such? 2 yes, 1 no is a fine approach.
But if it is something like the wife does? Then it is just a flat no. Not even if the two parents both agree is it a good thing and should be stopped.
Using kids as props to social media for attention or money is just flat out child abuse.
Not to mention potentially putting her kids at risk because of creeps on the Internet
Exactly. My facebook relatively private and I post their pictures here and there but I would NEVER use my kids to make money.
I KNOW how much these family channels make and how easily but I refuse to feed into. My kids don't even watch channels or videos involving families and children. I just hate it.
It's not only divorce material, her public posts about husband are potential defamation material.
True, what after many years when they go to school and other kids find those old vids, they could be made fun off, bullied and blackmailed
20 is DEFINITELY old enough. I turned 21 last month but can say that bigotry isn’t something that can be excused at that age. It started when she was 14 and should’ve stopped then and there but no, her bigotry knows little bounds.
Yea seems some kids just act homophobic cuz they get not consequences it’s sad (just like the kid that decided to comment on my shorts telling me religion is an excuse for homophobia) it’s on one of my shorts if you want to shame her lol
@@sunglowwolf-7917 And being a Christian is NO EXCUSE for being homophobic either. You don't have to agree with their lifestyle being "godly" or anything, you just have to be kind to them and treat them like human beings. God loves them as much as He loves everybody else, sinner or saint, which is why He sent His only begotten Son to die for us.
@@VicGeorge2K6
You disagreeing with their so-called "lifestyle" (its not a lifestyle, its part of their biology, thats like saying I live a white lifestyle because my skin is white) is still bigotry, just benevolent bigotry. Sorry, but you either accept that they arent wrong for being gay, or you're a bigot, its as simple as that.
@@VicGeorge2K6 the girl in my situation is Muslim or something lol I don’t think Christian beliefs will get through to a different type of religious person like that.
Yeah it's wild how she was constantly a total douche waffle to a gay couple, then was surprised that said gay couple didn't want her around.
If the kids are young enough to have temper tantrums, theyre too young to consent to being vlogged.
There was a teen whose mom was a youtuber with content revolving around being a mom. Kid ended up getting a hoodie they wore constantly, and even got their siblings (who eagerly wore them too) stating "i do not consent to being photographed" and virtually imploding the mom's channel.
That teen is the GOAT. I wish them all the luck in life.
I agree, kids young enough to have temper tantrums shouldn't be on videos. That goes for the overgrown child too, with the kinda temper tantrum that "mom" is throwing
Why is it that people constantly expect the wronged party to "be the bigger person"?
Its a combination of shifting the blame and not willing to do anything about it.
Because it's so much more convenient for them and they don't want to deal with all those icky hurt feelings. And especially don't want to have to take a look in a mirror.
It's an implicit admission that they know the other person certainly isn't going to be reasonable, but they're not willing to take the fight that comes with holding them to account.
It’s easier to make a reasonable person do it than try and make the crazy person do it.
Because it makes people uncomfortable whenever a strong person stands up for himself/herself. They want to push the strong person down. I refer to it as demanding they be a doormat for bad people.
story 2. rSlash misread the story. 'james' is not an AH, it was his mother, not him that blamed her. sounds like he did exactly what he should have done to not be an AH to OP.
Yeah, I noted that in my comment too. I can see why he misread it, though; "my mother and James's" is rather clunky.
I was about to say this.
@@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon yeah, that's why I stated it as rSlash misread and not rSlash is wrong.
@@myopinion69420technically rslash IS wrong. James gets 0/5 cause he defended OP.
@@myopinion69420
I think James is an asshole
Dude sounds financially controlling
However Lindsay's the only asshole in this situation
Story 1: The whole "young and naive" argument is garbage. My TEN year old found the homophobic comments awful (and he's HALF her age). Definitely NTA. The niece is a terrible person.
The mom like the niece is also homophobic but knows how to keep it secret and just wants another homophobe in the same house
The Bill: NTA - What kind of crazy, sexist, narcissistic behavior is that? Ugh! What a turn off. Can't say I'd want to be sleeping with someone who treated me like an ATM.
Exactly! I'd stay clear of those harpies going forward and be damn clear with the wife that my salary isn't her friends' spending money. If they can't survive off of the good will of others perhaps it's time to consider getting jobs a.d take a class in budgeting. It's 2023, time to shed that old sexist crap.
not that I endorse this, but I wonder how she'd feel if OP started treating her as "the woman".
That old notion that a man should pay for everything and everyone else is really sexist.
I also feel like this is what happens when you have a toxic friend group. I cant imagine doing this to my partner or my the partners of my friends. It just seems like high school mind games. Funnily enough, people who have this mentality never seem to want to apply it to themselves. Whether its men insisting their wives do the housework, raised the kids and work, or the women insisting their husbands be the "provider" while they have a maid and order takeout every night.
@day_dreamer9316 Agreed. The thing that's been bugging me lately and maybe someone can give me some insight into it. Have yall noticed the first thing people say when you don't wanna pay for something is to call you broke? Like the dude in the story wasn't willing to pay for their wife's friends meals, so that must mean he's broke? I honestly see that get thrown around alot on TikTok too. Like when people don't wanna send gifts to the NPC streamers, people just say "if you're broke, just admit you're broke" or something like that. How and when did that become the thing people use as an insult?
Also, I know there's a chance no one will read this and give me an answer. But if anyone does and made it this far, thank you. 😊
Children's faces being on social media is EXTREMELY dangerous for so many reasons
There are too many creepy and terrible people that now have access to your kids faces
It's damaging to always have a camera in your face
That content is on the internet now, forever, in one way or another
I am 100% against people showing their kids in online public spaces
With family and friends is different but don't show them off to the internet
Even if it was perfectly benign... if one parent is entirely against is and makes that clear, the other parent should respect that.
See, this is exactly what I've been telling people. It's fine if you just post, like, a cute pic here and there, but if you're sharing videos that include children's very personal/vulnerable moments, there's the risk of hundreds of creeps latching onto your kids. It's just a bad idea all 'round, and while yes, it sucks that this is the case, the unfortunate reality is that the internet is infested with horrible folks.
Reminds me of how when these types of content creators upload a video of their kid in the bath or something, the number of downloads/saves for the video _mysteriously_ goes up into the tens of thousands, or even more. It's gross.
It gets even worse when the kids are from a school that wears a uniform that sports a school crest. A simple freeze frame plus google lens can easily locate the school/neighborhood of the kid. This essentially primes a situation whereupon a predator could easily find and take the kid.
@@devilfanmik This scenario is a prime example of doxing. It's like not redacting people's number plates.
saying she is "young and naive" at 20yo as an excuse for homophobia is insane. i remember arguing with my 5th grade math teacher because she was making very homophobic comments (don't remember the context). how can an 11 year old child be smarter and more mature than a grown woman? she is ridiculous
Ball
@@ladytasha1986 It's probably true. When I was a young kid I challenged a racist thing my sister said and my mother responded in an equally racist way. I didn't know what racism was then but I did know what they were saying was mean and unfair.
Point is, plenty of children are intelligent and humane enough to instinctively know right from wrong.
How long ago were you in 5th grade?
@@Hard_UncleRuckus Why would that matter or make any difference?
@@Hard_UncleRuckus 7 years ago
Third story, I'm honestly 1000% on OP's side. Not even including the current 8 Passengers nuclear fallout, putting your kids on CZcams like that is super sucky for the kids, *especially* if they're too young to consent. On top of that, instead of actually listening to her husband, she went behind his back and used the kids anyway and badmouths him? That's *exactly* the kind of person that shouldn't be making a channel like that. OP should download all the videos as evidence that she went behind his back on it and get ready to separate with the kids. No mother is better than an exploitative mother.
This type of content has never worked out well for the kids involved. We've seen how bad it is for well over 10 years so I dont understand why theres no crack down on it.
People need to do it like dantdm he said he isn't posting pictures and stuff of his kids till they are old enough to decide
@@RisingRevengeancethere’s no crackdown because it’s too lucrative. Parents and social media companies alike are getting paid and that’s all that matters to them 🤷♀️
@Sanodi21 You are so right except for the last sentence. Unless you meant it sarcastically. There are lots of mothers better than an exploitative mother.
@@kranberry3318 I think they meant that in this case, not having a mother is better than having an exploitative one
Third story. Divorce her. She explicitly ignored your boundaries. Then she -started a smear campaign- committed slander, when she didn't get what she wants. She obviously cares more about being an influencer than your kids' welfare. She is only going to get worse. Get out. Now. Before she does something to your kids, and _you're_ in jail for child endangerment.
Slander is verbal, libel is written.
@@JamesDavy2009 As she's posting on Facebook, it might be either or both.
With all the weirdos on CZcams nowadays, I'd be more cautious about putting children on the camera for everyone to see and making sure you have the kids' permission to do so.
agree. not just CZcams everywhere, you just don't know what people are doing with the content.
With thier ages nah
Kids aren’t legally able to consent to that-that’s why they’re not able to sign contracts until 18.
I made job contracts 15y old
What demographic do you think watches these children focused videos. The fact that children's videos get the most hits when they're bathing suits or in the bath is disgusting. Also her analytics would show her how many OLD MEN are watching her children.
Last story: who is going around shaming OP for having cancer? Who has ever blame themselves for getting a disease they never wanted? There's more to this story, people don't say stuff like this for no reason and something going on that OP doesn't know.
My guess (the charitable part of me anyway) is that the MIL thinks that if she got cancer then she would feel guilty for making her family sad, so she assumes OP does too. Which would make her very unhelpful but not necessarily an AH.
You don't know very many humans, do you? There absolutely _are_ people who _will_ blame you for getting cancer. Like I understand if you smoke... that's like a thing, but some people think you can get cancer from eating too much sugar, or meat, or drinking too much, or whatever they personally don't like. It's somehow become a weird extension of purity culture... in _some_ circles. That may, or may not be the case here, it's hard to say based on the minimal context.
I think in-laws could benefit from attending a support group for those who have loved ones with cancer. I got the impression from the story that they want to be supportive but don’t know what to say.
Some people are raised to say something -- anything -- to break an awkward silence. Many times it's the right call, but not always. It's a tough habit to break, and it usually takes a rebuke to make it stop. This was MIL's canned "sorry you have cancer" reply, and she probably didn't even know she'd already said it until the husband said "no shit." Knowing you'd live another two more declining years with your MIL saying that over and over is enough to make anyone snap. Love you MIL, but please stop.
Unfortunately probably a few people. But cancer and diseases are not your fault. Sure, there are some life decisions we make that can lead us to be sick. Like drinking and smoking carrying too much weight. Those are bad decisions. But we all make bad decisions. Sometimes some of us are just unlucky enough that those bad decisions catch up with us and sometimes we're lucky enough they don't.
Edit and maybe this could be mother-in-law doesn't know how to comfort someone in that situation. Let's be honest, a lot of people wouldn't. There's never anything wrong with just silently being there for someone and letting them tell you what they need. Offering to do specific things and then following through with that offer. Letting them see through your actions. Not your words that you're there for them.
First one: I'm 25 myself, but since I was like 13 I already knew what OP's niece don't: being a homophobic douche means getting rightfully blasted for it. 20 is old enough to know that, and her mother is stupid in saying "she's young and naive". No, she's prejudiced and is getting what she deserves;
Second story: I don't get what OP's mom is on about on kicking everyone out. Lindsay was the one being a douchebag, neither James nor the kids deserve to have their vacation ruined because of Lindsay's stupidity. Also if her mother wants her to stay with James and the kids so much, she could very well pay for her own daughter's hotel room.
It’s James’ mother saying OP should’ve let the bitch stay, not the bitch’s own mother.
Man a wife that toxic expecting him to pay for everyone is disgusting I would have paid only for my food went home and started thinking about divorce
Could even get the marriage annulled if he's quick about it.
It's such an archaic view. If women fought to be treated equally to men, that comes with the social expectations of equal treatment.
@@JamesDavy2009 It isn't uncommon - seen it with every genaration after the boomers - they're all about independence, unless it benefits them, then all of a sudden they want it handled like 70 years ago.
Story 4: I mean, you can make fun of all of them for being a bunch of cheap ass gold diggers, then talk about how most of the women you know don't rely on a man to pay for their food. When they start to claim your being sexist to them ask them why is it okay for them to have gender-based expectations but not you? Who cares what her friends think you are not your wife's dog, you did not know nor agree to pay for all their food that's the end of the conversation.
That wife has some terrible friends.
@@errantwinds-up8uuThat wife is terrible.
Another aspect is: "Yeah, sure, you call me broke and STILL expect me to pay? You think reverse psychology works on people older than a toddler?"
Story 4: Only acceptable responce imo would have been “sure, i’ll pay, you will all be sleeping with me tonight right? You wana play old timey games, win old timey prizes”
Op you’re NTA and your partner kinda sounds like a gold digger.
Oh the outrage, how dare you talk to strong, independent women like that???
Let me explain it to the niece using a very simple formula:
Frick around = find out
They really should have covered this in high school, but I can see how she missed it with her head shoved so far up her own butt.
Story 3: Notice how not one word out of her mouth (or RSlash's, no offense) is about the kids? SHE built this (off the backs of her kids), it's HER dream (that hinges on her using her kids for content), and now she's trying to lie and cut off OP from the kids, because he dares to put a hard line down and keep his toddlers out of a space notorious for child exploitation, abuse, and an audience full of hidden pedos? Yeah, no, forget lying to OP, this is a matter of protecting the kids from ending up like the so many other kids of "mommy vloggers"/"family channels" before them. It's absolutely time to lawyer up, regardless of whether that's to divorce her ass or legally force her to take down the content featuring minors too young to consent to being filmed and put on the internet or both.
First story: you know the daughter is picking that up somewhere, and it’s likely her friend group or the mom
Regardless she knows not to act that way and no one cares about her horrible beliefs. Especially OP and his spouse
I think it's both
Mom in the story has no indication of feeling that way at all
@@mariposa9506 according to the story only, who knows whats actually happening inside that household
I was thinking the same.
Story 3: given all the recent controversial issues with “mommy vlog content” (ie 8 passengers) and p-words, I think Op is justified being angry that the kids faces were shown. A slight work around would have been to learn to blur out the kids to protect their identities but not showing them all together would have been much better. The wife can’t get upset just cuz OP did. She crossed the one boundary that she shouldn’t have
After finishing the story: DIVORCE HER AND TAKE THE KIDS!!! SHE IS A LYING MANIPULATIVE WOMAN WHO WILL CONTINUE EXPLOITING HER KIDS AND PUT THEM IN DANGER!!!
And she may try to get pregnant so she can have a cute baby to frequently post about.
Yeah those pedophiles are pretty fucking gross. As is tiptoeing around calling them what they are.
@@lorilancaster5917 that too. Plus the kids will grow up eventually. If op divorces her and she gets the kids, she’d feed them lies as to why the divorce happened. They’ll see these videos and inevitably reach out to know the truth. Plus once someone starts mommy vlogging, all interactions with their kids will become “transactional content” and the kids will always feel like they HAVE to share all their issues/privacy with the world. That’s not a good environment to be in growing up
A great work around I saw was this social media channel that does skits for 'almond mums' (Clearly satire.) You never see the kids, but you do hear their voices. They're in on the joke and are having fun... plus their privacy is maintained.
@@JadeAnnabelArt and I bet aliases or nicknames were used…or should be used when referring to the kids
I would have told the mom in the first story that she is happy to leave and join her daughter if she is caring about her daughters struggles. Gotta Love people who tell others to be the bigger person yet allow their children to continue being the little turd they are. Something that Mother isn't as supportive as she says she is. Maybe tolerant is the correct word. Since it seems she's okay with homophobia as long as it's from her children
Story 3: So the wife, rather than listening to family concerns about Their children, acts like a teenage brat and blasts her husband on social media. Her behavior is so toxic and she needs to grow up
Story 3 : No, and I absolutely abhorre all these people who not only put their kids up as products for people, exposing them to direct danger but also those who pull the "narcissist" card as soon as it turns sour.
Cut that off, she lied to you and exposed your children to danger. Then, if she wants to keep that up and set you up online, you know what to do. Eff these people.
Story 4 : Wait until she faces any kind of "womanly obligation". She will surely change her tune.
I don’t like these channels bc I’ve seen MANY stories of children being stalked and talked to by strangers and friends parents in schools, parks, public areas bc of the content they post
I won’t even mention the amount of pedos on tiktok that save videos of kids in these parent accounts and comment disgusting things
Story 4: Oh yeah, UNO Reverse that sucker! Have her play the woman roles pre-second-wave-feminism.
Story 2:
The sheer amount of jealousy that SIL has against OP is stratospheric. Not only would I have kicked her out of my house, but I would kick her out of my life, permanently. There’s no excuse for her behavior.
Story 1 : NTA.. lesson 1 don't bite that hand that wants to help you.. You get what you get if you do that.. 20 is not " young and naive " if the niece was 10 ok then but 20 is old enough to know better and when someone tells you to shut you shut it.. if the mother has such " strong feelings " about this situation then she can go as well live with where the daughter is living ..
Story 2 : NTA.. op invited Lindsey into her house and Lindsey has the Gall to disrespect op in op house .. well Lindsey "hit the road jack don't you come around no more no more no more no more hit the road jack" 🎶🎶🎶 .. james just needs to divorce that toxic witch and move on because her commenting is gonna get him into a lot of trouble with lot of people.. The more i think about it the more i think Lindsey got lucky that she could fly home with all of her teeth in her mouth still..
Story 3 : NTA.. kids are 50/50 between the parents if one agrees and the other doesnt agree to put that kind of content on CZcams then you dont do it until its a 100% decision.. plus with all the creeps on youtube the wife is exposing her kids to the chances of being kidnapped or physically hurt by jealous people..100% op should get the videos and the channel flagged and start looking for a divorce attorney..
Story 4 : NTA.. Annual the marriage immediately.. your not this "ladies " husband your an ATM to her.. also dump those friends and go LC with your hypocritical parent as well ..nahhh rslash op hopefully soon to be ex wife get 4 out of 5 a hole points for marrying op and wanting him to only pay for everything..also op "friends" and "family " get 3.5 out of 5 a holes for being hypocritical jerks..
Story 5 : NTA.. Thats one final jab by those jerkoff in-laws and now hes being gaslight into being an a hole ?? Do not apologize op because what the in-laws are doing is laying in the knife final few times before you pass on..nahh rslash you misunderstood the in-laws she clearly meant it by after getting the response she runs to everyone else " wahhhhh he was so mean to me wahhh" the inlaw gets 3 out of 5 a hole..
Just tell the eldest daughter she'll have to deal with the gay sex in the middle of the living room three times a day and the Saturday night orgy.
But seriously. No, she gets to go deal with the consequences of her actions--somewhere else.
100% with this whole thing!
Story 1 - NTA
The mom is rich for demanding op to “be the bigger person” when she has a homophobic brat that she doesn’t seem to want to correct.
And if it bothers her so much, she can stay in a hotel and support her horrible daughter. Hopefully soon the insurance settlement will begin and everyone can move out of OPs and husband’s home.
It's always like that with assholes: they constantly bully and belittle you but the moment they need something from you - "be a bigger person". Yeah how about NO?
Makes you think she probably doesn't want to correct it because she harbors those same beliefs but hides it better.
I 100% think the mom is homophobic too but just hides it. Kids dont just randomly get insanely bigoted when they have 100% of their close circle be accepting. Also, if your kid has been like that since she was 14 and you didnt make a point to heavily correct it until it stopped, then youre complacent.
I think OP has been the bigger person for years by not making a bigger fuss about his homophobic and rude niece. Also she's 20, not 8. Nobody is obliged to house her for free.
"She's still young and naive" I knew better at half her age
Bill story: "You married a man who can't pay the bill" I'd like to see you throw down a few hundred dollars at the last second because everyone would rather be sexist than pay for themselves or split
She’s exploiting your children on social media. I’m glad you threaten divorce. And then she had the audacity to call you a narcissist.
That’s what narcissists do: they project their own behavior/guilt onto the people around them. They can’t understand that other people actually have more altruistic feelings and morals; it’s simply not in their wheelhouse.
Exactly. The wife will get a sad wake-up call, when the kids fall prey to sick parasites.⚠️
I saw something like that on Dr. Phil once
She might be a narc herself. They tend to project and like to do smear campaigns.
Add to that the fact that she's exploiting her kids...
See, here's the thing, you can promise that your husband will pay the bill for your friends as long as your husband actually AGREES IN ADVANCE that he will pay the bill for your friends.
I hate hate hate “family vlogs” where they show their children’s faces. They can’t consent to being filmed and also the thought of weirdos watching their videos solely for the kids creeps me out.
The story about the bill is hilarious. OP is not obligated to pay anyone's food except for his wife. With that being said, since she went behind OP's back and promised her so-called friends that he would take care of the bill, I'd dump her to the curb since she shares the same train of thought as her entitled friends. I would never put myself in a position where I couldn't pay for my own meals. OP's wife and her friends are for the streets and they're probably single because no one in their right mind would agree to this ridiculous request. Also, OP is not a broke husband because OP's wife's broke friends can't take care of their own ish. Bye😑
And apparently OP is less broke than their bfs. But who bets none of them can keep a guy?
OP is not obligated to pay for his wife either, he's nice to do so, nicer than I would've been in that situation if my girlfriend was dumb enough to pull a stunt like that. I'm better off, financially, than my girlfriend so I'm willing to pay for certain things so we can do nice things together, but that is a privilege that can, and would, be revoked the moment she acted that entitled!
Imagine a man acting that entitled to a woman's body! _"But I promised my friends that they could do you too..."_ For some reason I doubt she'd be sleeping with him that night... or ever again! ;-)
For the wife influencer story;
Divorce her and then take the kids. She’ll have plenty of time to be an influencer then and she can’t post about the kids ever again. Win win!
Divorce wouldn’t do anything
You know he won’t get the kids
Unless the court finds the wife the be a threat to her children, OP wouldn’t get full custody. And once divorced, ex wife can post her children all she wants because she won’t need OPs input. So divorce isn’t a good option. Maybe couples counseling. Likely won’t work either since the wife doesn’t think she’s at fault.
@@BigDr0p1I mean dads are getting more rights now even dads who don’t deserve it
in the first story, I feel like the niece is hearing those insults from someone else. and I have a feeling it may be her mother. because no 14 year old is inherently homophobic, and if majority of the family is not homophobic, it has to be from someone she's close to. we don't have enough info to know how the parents deal with the homophobia at home, but at least one of them is not doing anything about it. in this case, it makes more sense that it would be her mother, since the brother understands where op is coming from.
My bet is that they go to a homophones church. The parents might be sensible enough to tune out that rhetoric, while dumb enough not to think about how hearing that nonsense might effect their kids. Regardless, the parents are responsible, since she must have gotten the attitude from them one way or another
My first thought when I heard it was "she had a secret crush on OP at 14 and her reaction is from repressed shame and anger". Not an excuse by any means, but might explain how a 14yo suddenly turned into a raging homophobe without any obvious outside influence. Of course, at 20, she has been feeding that inner wolf for years now instead of facing her truth.
I’m almost 90% sure that OP’s niece is secretly gay or bi and she feels like she can’t come out because of her mother’s influence. It could be that OP’s SIL is feeding into a lot of internalized homophobia on his Niece’s end, which would make the most amount of sense. Maybe OP can meet up somewhere where he can pick her brain with just the two of them present, really get her to open up and get to the root of her animosity. Which I’m almost guessing is partially jealousy of a relationship she’d want but feels like she can’t have 😐
Content creators who use their child(ren) need to be legally held to the Coogan Law. It's a child labor protection law that requires a percentage of child actor's earnings to go into a trust that they can access once they turn 18 to keep. Legally, their earnings are owned by the child, not the parent.
Story two: Something tells me Lindsey shows gold-digger traits and THAT'S why her husband doesn't contribute to her shit. But also, this is the relationship dynamic her and her husband chose. OP and her husband are comfortable with their dynamic and there is NOTHING wrong with it. Lindsey is jealous and if she wants that dynamic to change, she needs to talk to her husband. She absolutely doesn't need to insult you and your family for what works for YOU. I would have kicked her out THAT NIGHT. Bye.
Agreed. Ten bucks says Lindsey is a spender and tried to convince hubby she should be a SAHM but hubby said no. There is nothing wrong with a stay at home spouse as long as both partners agree to it. Some families find that works for them and others do not.
Story 4: Hope the marriage is new enough to get it annulled. Time to leave this gold digger.
The fact that I'm pretty sure the Thumbnail is Ruby Frankie is making me laugh 😂😂
When I saw the thumbnail I laughed and was like "oh shi, even rslash is in on 8passengers drama"
Whomst?
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072one of those gross family bloggers who abused her kids and has been arrested
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 horrible woman who had a family vlog detailing how she would abuse, I mean “ discipline” her kids. Recently arrested for child abuse and neglect
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072Mommy vlogger who was recently arrested for keeping her kids tied up in her friend’s house
Story 3:
Absolutely not! I am horrified that people put their children online. They can’t enter into contracts, they have no authority to make decisions about their lives, you risk having perverts stalking your children. There are too many things that can go wrong. Plus your wife flat out lied to you, how can you ever trust her again. Did she hire an attorney for the children?
Rslash what have you done to me? I can't eat my food without watching your videos 😩
fr
Can’t get up & start my day until r/Slash posts.
Can't travel without rslash
No day can properly start without Rlashs videos
We need a cooler name lol
In the second story, James actually deserves 0 out of 5 buttholes, since _he_ didn't turn around and blame OP for kicking her out. If you go back and read that part of the story again, you'll see that she said "Both my mother and James's have said I was wrong for kicking Lindsay out". James's mother is the one blaming OP, not James, and the very next sentence supports that.
It says both my mother AND JAMES meaning James aswell
@@MaSkEdmobs Read it again. It doesn't say "my mother and James", it says "my mother and James's", meaning her mother and James's mother.
Honestly, OP shouldn't take down the videos on his wife's youtube. That whole channel could probably be used to get him primary custody, especially any clips where the mom is shoving a camera in the kids' faces while they're crying
Maybe OP could record/save the channel content some other place, and then take the channel down. The kids’ faces NEED to be off the ‘net to remove them from danger!
While I admire your tactic, I don’t think it’ll be enough for OP to get full custody
Rslash, i reccomend being SUPER CAREFUL About betting and gambling sponserships. A ton of people have gotten in HUGE trouble doing that. Don't want to see it happen to you.
Pro tip:
Whenever you hear "skill based" in reference to anything relating to betting/wagers, it's not.
This is a legal loop-hole that gambling outlets use in USA, because "games of skill" aren't treated as gambling.
That's why they had that really hilarious demonstration where the demonstrators were fed lines by a gambling company, and they marched around yelling "GAME OF SKILL! GAME OF SKILL!"
I’m 21 years old and I knew that bigotry is not ok long before I turned 21. If she still doesn’t understand that bigotry is wrong at 20 years old, then she’s beyond help.
the homophobic niece one - If I was in OP's shoes after they begged and begged like that to let her move in I would have said yes, but I will not be insulted in my own home. then sit down with the whole family (other kids included) except the niece and tell them you are bringing her here so you are responsible for her, if she says / does 1 hurtful / homophobic thing you are all out. Then the mom will either shut up or god forbid the niece has to learn to not be a POS to the people literally putting a roof over her head. OP is NTA no matter how you cut it though
Have the niece apologize for every time she's used the F slur to prove she's serious about correcting and improving herself
No, have the niece included. If you’re gonna set a rule like that, she needs to be aware of it.
I would tell niece she would have to write an essay regarding every letter involved in the LGBTQ+ community, their positive influences, and report about an influential person under each category. It could be typed but it has to come from the heart.
Oh! And unlike what I did, niece cannot abbreviate LGBTQ+. She must include everyone categorized in that community
@@RealCoolstriker64 the reason I wasn't including the niece at first was because I would want to give the rest of the family the chance to reject the idea and accept that the niece cant move in without her present to pressure them or get mad at them. She would of course be informed of the rule and be forced to agree to it b4 moving in
Story1: Being honest, I can see why the niece is still behaving like a petulant child. Her mother believing she should be consequence-free because she's "young and naive", her freeloading at home at 20 years of age, her believing having to stay with a friend rather than with her parents (presumably because said friend won't pick up after her)... Yeah. No issues with OP not wanting her in his house, and she's hardly either a helpless child nor left with no options, so no problem there. But I see the mother (father's attitude unknown) babying her being a much bigger problem than just her attitude to her uncles.
Story 3: OP explains in an edit that they actually both agreed not to show the kids' faces early on and the wife simply disregarded that agreement. In particular, OP is upset because their 2yo's tantrums revolve around not wanting to wear clothes, so she's often shown wearing just diapers.
Ouch, that's scary shit
OP1: She's a grownup. You're not denying shelter to a child. Her mother is trash for suggesting for a bare second that you accept it. As ever, "be the bigger person" = "shut up, bow down, and accept the abuse." Tell phobe cousin to get a damn job.
Story 3 - NTA
I hate “family influencers” after the Asshole of 5 and Evil Witch of 8.
I also argue that it should be three yess and one no. I feel the kid should be able to say no too
Story 4: Your wife can’t just assume you’ll pay $500 for her friends. It’s not unreasonable to ask if you have that kind of money, but it’s extremely unreasonable to assume. If your wife doesn’t learn to communicate with you then your marriage should probably be reevaluated.
Sadly hatred isnt always taught and learned. Sometimes people are just hateful of things they dont understand.
Also, "She couldnt have known her actions have consequences!"
Well its WAY past time for her to learn! Thats life lady!
rSlash, todays sponsor is not only a highly rigged maths game (NOT skill based at all), but it promotes gambling which is being targeted towards younger audiences like teens and college students. Don’t accept these types of sponsorships, they’re all sorts of bad.
I would make sure I get a point across everybody I don't care if she's on social media. I care that my kids were on there I asked her not to do it to tell me she wasn't going to do it then went behind my back and did it and I would post that everywhere. She's using our kids to get attention for herself.
You miss read the story about the wife who went home early. It wasn't James that got mad at OP for sending her back it was James' mom. He's a half brother and she wrote that line kind of weird. James didn't need that .5 score.
Story 4:
OP your wife is an AH, how dare she “assume,” that you would pay for everyone. Also, you need new friends and family, including a new wife.
Story 2: Dabney, you misread the fallout by one particular piece: James wasn't blaming OP, he didn't once say anything about it being OP's fault. It was both of their mothers who did.
"Both my mother and James's"
OP is referring to James' mom, but you misread it as James himself.
James gets 0/5 buttholes.
Story 3 op did the right thing almost every situation of a CZcams family leads to disaster whether it’s the kids getting abused/mistreated for views or they become such an entitled and spoiled brat they’d never have a real friend nothing good will come out of that CZcams channel
I hate family vlog channels like the ones in Story 3 that shove cameras in kids' faces all the time! (Note: there ARE some family channels that don't do this but it is rare!) We are seeing the culmination of this with the 8 Passengers channel right now and what putting everything out there does for young kids... The worst part is unlike child actors who HAVE to put money into a fund (Coogan Act) for them when they are older family channels don't have that same protection... So parents can exploit their kids for content and don't have to save ANY of that money for them after stealing their childhood. Let kids be kids!!!
Ah, that's the name of the law. Thanks for bringing it up because I was sure I remembered there was something like that for child actors. It needs to be broadened.
1st story NTA. She's an adult. She's old enough for the consequences.
2nd story NTA.
3rd story NTA. Child exploitation for CZcams content is a terrible thing, especially if you It's also dangerous for the kids because you don't know who's watching
4th NTA. If my SO tried to do this, we wouldn't be together after...
5th NTA.
Daddyofive being a prime example in story 3.
The story with Lindsey getting kicked out while her family stayed.... James deserves no butt hole score. It was his mom that was saying they shouldn't have made him choose. James did nothing but defend OP
You misread the second story, James wasn't mad at OP, his mother was. James defended her then had no opinion and he didn't blame her. The story said "both my mother and James's" you missed the apostrophe.
Story 3: Op definitely needs to walk out of that relationship, it’s red flag after red flag.
In the second story you missed a word that affected your judgement. It wasn't James giving her shit for kicking out Lindsey. It was James's mother.
Story 2:
Long ago I read a magazine article where a working mother, whose husband had a better paying job (but not an extremely high paying job), did the math. Take her salary, deduct taxes, child care, commuting, professional attire, etc., and she found she was working for $800 a year.
The working mom in this story has even less reason to work. She could easily not work for money and volunteer to keep herself active. That family dynamic is messed up. Not sure if the husband is demanding the wife contribute financially, the wife defines her worth by being able to contribute financially, or both.
2nd Story: She has every right to kick out someone who you invited into your house and they literally shit talk you as a guest. If I was hosting someone and they belittle me, especially in front of others then that is definitely a kicking out moment for myself.
1st story, why would the mother think its going to stop by the sister moving in? You can forgive someone for something they KEEP doing
Last story: how about people just ask what that person needs to feel better? Like how is blame the first thing people assume when someone is sick? I’m on dialysis and people assume that I’ve been a drug addict or an alcoholic, but the truth is I was born with kidney failure. It was just a matter of time when my kidneys failed. Was it my fault to be born this way? Make it make sense.
Story 2: I just want to point out it wasn't James giving Op flack it was his mother. Op could have definitely worded that better.
In the second story, I think you missed that James isn't the one criticizing OP. He's been 100% supportive of her decision. It's his mom that was arguing about it.
2nd story. How did James blame OP? The text only refers to James' mother. And OP says that she didn't want to kick out the person who defended her.
4th story: I don't want to be reactionary and brash but this seems like a big drop in the divorce bucket!
Honestly, with story 3, there is a law now that says that family channels with kids HAVE to give their children a cut of that money or they risk getting sued by those children and having their channels torn down. Because the parents aren't sharing the profits with their children.
I think, he should invite his niece, be extra nice to her and be extra affectionate with his husband! If the kindness doesn’t kill her, the trolling will.
The story about op and his wife who went to a nice restaurant should have had the check split between op and his wife and her friends so that her deadbeat friends could pay for their own meals not op himself
That would be wise under sane circumstances which his wife and her friends are not
Misread the second story a little when giving that rating. It said “my mother and James’s” were upset, so I think it was James’s mother who was upset, not James
Story 2: Man, she clearly has something against OP for being a SAHW. Like, making a comment about s*x work? Are you serious?
She’s likely projecting because she sees how OP is taken care of while she has to pay her own way. However she refuses to see the work OP does since it doesn’t come with a paycheck. And other than Lindsey, it seems like some form or another people agree she was out of line. James agreed, MIL is just deliberately obtuse, and OPs mom recommended was overkill.
100% she's jealous, OP doesn't work (a job, still does the whole SAHM thing) and they split their husbands fun money. Linsay has to work to then get significantly less than her husband and likely OP.
Story 1: NTA. She's an adult. Actions have consequences. Not only that, but its your house, OP. Your house, your rules. You dont have to let anyone stay with you. Niece gets 3/5. Mom gets 2.5/5.
Story 2: NTA. Lindsay needs to learn humility. OP's relationship and money isnt any of Lindsay's business. OP is right for only kicking Lindsay out. James defended OP. Dabney, James didn't blame OP at all. It was James's mother. I think you missed that. 2/5 is fair.
Story 3: Overwhelmingly NTA! Not being controlling or narcissistic. If divorce does happen, don't be surprised if she tries some underhanded tactics to get full custody, OP. Best of luck. Wife gets 4.5/5 and if the kids arent getting a cut at all, 5/5 for stealing from her kids.
Story 4: NTA. Promising something from someone without even talking to that person beforehand is disrespectful. Right off the bat, I knew thats how it would go. I definitely don't think this is divorce territory, but the wife definitely needs better communication skills. 1.5/5. I hope the friends or the wife paid the remaining balance.
Story 5: NAH. Dabney said it best. I have nothing to say more about it.
Story 2: I think he did miss that too.
Story 3 :
The minute someone accuses you of being controlling to their friends as a way of brow beating you, that should be a divorce. That accusation could ruin your life.
Story 1: NTA but I think the niece might need therapy to understand why she's thinking like this
It wasn't James, who blamed OP for kicking his wife out, it was his mother. James was 100% on OP's side and didn't pay for a hotel so his wife could stay. Just pointing that out cause he got 0,5 points cause r/slash can't read sometimes.
That sponsor is highly problematic...
5th story: I mean... who doesn't get sick and tired after hearing the same thing twice or more. OP telling them "no shit" for the obvious predicament is deserved. NTA
3rd story: Do not put your kid's lives on social media. End of story.
Your kid's lives are not a product for you to make money from. There are countless story from kids of "influencer" parents who as adults hate their parents for the shit they put them through. I would advice OP's wife to read some of those and see if that's a future she's comfortable with.
*First OP:* Why should OP "be the bigger person" by letting a h0m0ph0be stay at his and his husband's place? Also, at age 20, OP's niece knew what she was doing/saying and meant what she said. OP is NTA.
*Second OP:* Like the First OP's niece, this OP's SIL learned the FAFO principle the hard way. OP is NTA.
If James divorces Lindsay, let me know. >.>
Also, James didn't reprimand OP for kicking Lindsay out; his mom did.
*Third OP:* _reads title_ This ought to be good.
_reads story_ OP is NTA. Not wanting your youngins on camera does not make you a controlling narc.
*Fourth OP:* Did OP not notice, or ignore the red flags his wife set off, or did her mask stay on until dinner? Or, did OP's wife simply have an L take? Either way, OP is NTA. $700? Nah, Dude. Not unless you're James from the second story. Even then...
*Fifth OP:* My heart goes out to OP and his family. His in-laws comment _was_ insensitive (or at the very least, stupid). OP is NTA.
The last sorry: YES YES YES! When I got diagnosed with a chronic illness the constant “comfort” I got was infuriating and suffocating. There’s only so much of self-soothing comfort you can take from others.
The kids on social media post: the fact is that the first thing she did was to go on social media and call OP over controlling, and narcissistic, rather than actually talk about it shows to me that she cares more about doing this then how people will see or even treat OP. If I was an OP’s position, I would get ready to leave at that point, or at the minimum demand marriage counseling.
Hearing the name "Derrick Henry" coming out of Dabney's mouth is not something I ever expected lmfao
I remember that Dabney showed just a photo or two of his daughter when she was an infant when he was explaining that he's a father now. And that's all it should've been. Showing what you do as a parent and including your kids if they're older and comfortable with it, if they aren't comfortable with showing themselves but can just use their voice is fine too, and maybe pics of when they were younger if the kid is older and consents to it. Im ok with all of that.
Yeah with how the world is today I'm hiding any of my children from social media until they're 15. And I'm adding a keylogger just in case.
No pictures online if anyone wants pictures they gotta be in my regular contacts.
Too many pedos and psychos in the world
I'm 23 now. I can safely say that 20 year olds are very capable of being reasonable human beings.
If the husband of the influencer is spreading lies about her husband on tiktok or youtube, the husband could definitely sue for slander. And he should.
Also, the MIL of the last story had good intentions but it could have been handled much better. I think both parties should apologize.
3rd story- OP is 100% in the right. What that mom is doing to her kids should be classed as abuse. It can really screw up the kids if you're not careful. Some places are now passing laws that if you make content with your kids, you must split the profits with them and put their cash into a trust for when they come of age.
Last story: Who even thinks to say something like that? The absolute insensitivity.
13:47 I hate it when people complain, "how dare you embarrass me by breaking a promise that I made on your behalf!" All I can say is, "how dare you make a promise on my behalf in the first place."
The bill story nta I heard this one as well. Hopefully op can get an anullment. Because she will do this again.
And it will escalate.
My thoughts exactly, the only thing OP needs to have second thoughts about is his marriage.
There's no way I'm shelving out 700 bucks+tips for ourselves and her friends. Also, let me guess, it was the wife's girl friends, and not another friend couple...
@@lacko623you sir/m’am are correct.