The 'feeling vulnerable in simple looks' hit the nail on the head. I always wondered why I felt so uncomfortable in really understated outfits. I would do it to try and blend and be more 'appropriate' for where I am, yet it made me feel so uncomfortable in myself. A low-key, high-key extra style is simply my comfort zone, and now I don't feel apologetic about it :)
As the LаdуНеretiс who is a bit too focused on external and the “upness” of Amethyst key logic… I currently like to think that *clothes DON’T HAVE TO be the only beautiful thing about you* . It is still a struggle for me to simply allow, admit anything internal about me to “slip” into my outfit… hence my long-term self-imprisonment in the RU- RD quadrant… but the archetype Rita helped me find is a great support. Now i practice thinking about my “tune of the moment”, and pretty much pick up clothes with my closed eyes 👀(to the extent of dressing appropriately for an occasion, OF COURSE, keeping in mind “the end destination”, second structural layer of style sandwich). Then I remember the archetype: I love to show up refined, feminine and elemental - the lady, but that lady in my case is a heretic! That helps me remember about giving my style the so so necessary intimidation and intrigue. I cannot express in words how liberating it is to manage to combine all the elements of style logic. It’s a feeling of an artist being proud with her creation, I suppose. 💜💎🗝️
Returning to this video after watching Moonstone style logic… they ARE so similar in a way! Even though I have no doubt that I belong in LU quadrant, the essence of style logic is very… fragile? I often loose grasp on it, maybe because of the lack of practicing it.
It's like an inverse process but the thing to remember is that LU wants to feel seen and to feel like they are making an energetic impression. They really worry about not being seen enough, feeling too bland or hidden. The moonstones are looking for an inner result, a feeling. Being seen or complimented is a nice bonus not the goal
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita I'll remember that! It instantly made me remember the actual point of Moonstone analogy. It's a gem with a muted surface colour, and it's shine is somewheree deep inside. Visible&majestic, undoubtedly! but it is not made to "blind" you with it's gleam
I just thought for a long time that it is difficult for me to understand the difference between LU and RD, because in my mind they were very similar, although outwardly they were completely different! Now I know why! Are there any effective ways to determine where you are closer - LU or RD?
Up is all about being extra, high effort, high visual impact to others, wow factor. Down is comfort for you to feel more cosy, it is way more understated. Left is intrigue, others being drawn to you, mystery. Right is shining your light on to others, radiating, shining like the sun. I hope that helps make the understanding easier for you 😊
@@judith.romancei disagree about down essences being mostly understated. I found that it’s more about having a much more delicate expression. “Delicate” is visible for me absolutely always in case of RD. First words that come to mind with LD - body accommodation. Whereas for RU I would choose “cohesive”, probably, and LU… is the hardest of them all, if truth be told (maybe because I am a LU myself 😅). I would have said that for me LU dressing is like drawing an abstract painting. Its an art of showing very strongly and boldly something from the inside and is meant to evoke a strong reaction. P.S. if we continue art analogies, RD would be a watercolour technique for me, and probably Impressionism style. RU - classical? Maybe expressionism with its bolder and brighter outline of reality?… and then LD - pop-art, with its bold and inviting visual part that doesn’t provide hidden meanings.
@@katecat8204try looking for Rita’s and her husband‘a videos on 4-key system for men! You won’t except it, but it is presented so much clearer! Very simplistically, left is a “bad boy”, right is a “good boy”. Up is “glamour” in every way imaginable, down is… softness and delicacy of expression, if that makes sense
Wow, thank you. Every word speaks to my soul. I’ve always wanted to channel something into the world but I never thought I had anything to say. But the very desire to be seen is a sign that something has to be made into being, so to say. I love your approach to style because it links everything together. ❤❤❤
Let's also say I have thoughts that there is a person who cares about people's opinions about clothes. And if in the case of LU this is part of her "equation" for creating an image, then for RD it is what prevents creating an image. And here's how to understand that the opinion of people is what hinders, or what helps?
Deep down I knew this but due depression I feel more and more disconnected to my body. I want to tap into fashion but at the same time I will lack energy for everything else then. So I throw in whatever. Not caring how I look. But I actually do, I’m just numb to it. But I accepted to just let my depressed me be. I’m just gonna shutdown and not ackknowledge that ppl perceive me like this. Just let my soul leave my body like always. It’s sad how someone yearning for expression can just shutdown completely when not doing well. At the same time, perhaps using energy to tap into myself will help me out of that rut. It just feels like school needs to be a priority and I’m not allowed to put energy elsewhere. At the same time, I won’t actually put my energy there anyway. So since I’m not gonna learn anyway, might as well focus on connecting to myself.
I think that for people with the Amethyst key... Style really affects the way that you feel about yourself. So you might say "style can wait while I do x y and z" But in the meantime, if your style isn't there for you, you just feel worse and less confident and it becomes difficult So instead of putting it off and throwing on whatever, are there some small positive steps you can take?
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita thank you for the reply! I own some pieces that I really like, like some fun slippers with floppy dog ears! I didn’t wear them until a few days ago because “I didn’t want to get them dirty”. “I wanna do proper maintencane but I won’t have energy + I need to do research first so let’s not wear them yet”. But I thought if not now then when? So I wear them now and I do feel more playful and silly, I missed that feeling. I wanna be wrapped in excitement and my inner world and have people perceive it too. I want to be understood. I did try two fits in the past and I felt down that no one commented on them. It made me second guess and doubt my inner world. I did try to convince myself “if they don’t care it means more freedom” “I shouldn’t care and only care bout my inner world” But if I make no impact, it feels like I have no significance in this world. Like my inner world wouldn’t be missed, my existence is not worth acknowledging. I’m being rejected for who I am. No one likes me. (I don’t say it like that but that’s how I’d be feeling) Anyway Yesterday I found you trough someone else’s comment they wrote 3 years ago haha. They described your in depth approach and it is what I was looking for. I binged ur videos yesterday and It really resonated with me, thank you. You don’t need to read the following but I want to write this for myself: My wardrobe is filled with things that i don’t align with bc it reflects how I had to minimize myself for survival. My parents had it hard, doing their best to feed our family and pay rent. But children notice. I don’t have a great relationship with money. It’s scare and I need to make do with the bare minimum (at least no holes). My parents would say “why would you need new pants, we only just got you some! (At the time it was said, Last time we went shopping was 5 years ago and I was a teen undergoing puberty n body changes..) Making me feel guilty like I’m not deserving of anything. So now I have this dilemma - I need a warm winter jacket. It’s a necessary and my parents agree. However I don’t want to spend hundreds on a jacket I won’t like (imo german stores are very monotone, put together and indulge in some trends here and there. so no all my 19yrs of life I never found anything). The problem is that “I will be stuck with this jacket for life and I will have to commit to it”. It’s a waste of money for me to spent hundreds on something I don’t like. Actually it’s cuz I want to rebel. All my life I had to abide to my parents rules and I want to free myself, According to my parents I should be myself but they refuse to buy me clothes that don’t personally align with them (for example I like this shirt but bc they don’t like that shade of blue, they refuse me it). Those clothes portray me, which means they reject me but still spew empty nonesense that they “love me for who I am”. (No it’s not about “they didn’t let me buy what I want”. It’s the fact they didn’t let me express myself at all in the first place while carelessly telling me I should just be who I am. While literally not acknowledging or knowing who I even am. And them being the reason why I can’t be myself! There is no safe space to be myself. Because I’m met with shame and judgement. Also their parenting in general was emotionally neglectful and didn’t meet my needs growing up). I pushed myself away for my parents approval either way. My parents were grateful I was easy to raise. But inside I was just silencing myself. It hurts if you can’t get what you want, so I ignored my likes as if they don’t exist. That makes it easier. Can’t grieve something you never had in the first place. I’d automatically search for “flaws” to have me let my desires go. To make it less appealing. To downplay it to save me from disappointment. And I’m so done. I don’t want anything that remotely stresses me out. I wanna throw all the clothes I don’t like out and donate or something. And I tried doing it several times, but my mother would always scold me. I get where she’s coming from. Sustainability is a good thing. But I don’t want your shame and judgement to shackle me any longer! I often question though; Is all I do only a trauma response? Is there still no genuine me? The intense urge to express myself because I had no identity for so long. Wanting to be seen and recognized trough my fits because I was never acknowledged, welcomed and understood. Is there still no me beyond my issues? But there are certainly people in the same situation as me and ended up differently. Also it’s just anxiety about not having a stable self image yet. Because I discarded myself right? So I have to go on a journey to discover myself. However depression makes it hard. My likes and interests are part of my identity. I know I love it, but I can’t feel it. So I doubt my identity. The feeling of excitement evoked in me is an important aspect that signalizes me when I love something. And a depressed brain often isn’t capable of that. And eventually I forget about what I love. I get anxious and hoard and impulse buy things that even remotely resembles what I know I loved in the past. And then I realize, resemblence is not enough. I tried convincing myself by saying “a clue/ reference is better than nothing. As long as it help me get to myself”. But I think it is rather counterproductive. There are pieces I do like but I don’t think I will wear them in public just yet. Because I don’t have other items to make it more cohesive. And that wouldn’t correctly portray the image I have in my head. At the same time I wanna take my time reconnecting and discovering myself. So I’ll actually let myself get used to wear my heart on the sleeve in my room aka where it’s safe and I won’t feel triggered. There’s like this ecxpectation I should just know myself already. But it wasnt safe for me to do so when I was a child. The amount of money I’m investing into finding myself stresses me out. However that money will flow in again in no time. Phew. I really needed to let off steam.
@@chonntonwonton104 There is a long journey to discover who you are and how you can dress to express who you are. At the moment you have a lot of challenges, but like Rita said, take small steps towards your style because it will help you. Don't worry if nobody comments on what you wear. Sometimes you will get that feedback but usually you won't. Keep taking small steps towards the life and the style you want for yourself and don't let discouragement pull you back. All the best.
The 'feeling vulnerable in simple looks' hit the nail on the head.
I always wondered why I felt so uncomfortable in really understated outfits. I would do it to try and blend and be more 'appropriate' for where I am, yet it made me feel so uncomfortable in myself.
A low-key, high-key extra style is simply my comfort zone, and now I don't feel apologetic about it :)
It blows my mind how you nail these thought processes down to a tee
💜💜💜
As the LаdуНеretiс who is a bit too focused on external and the “upness” of Amethyst key logic… I currently like to think that *clothes DON’T HAVE TO be the only beautiful thing about you* .
It is still a struggle for me to simply allow, admit anything internal about me to “slip” into my outfit… hence my long-term self-imprisonment in the RU- RD quadrant… but the archetype Rita helped me find is a great support.
Now i practice thinking about my “tune of the moment”, and pretty much pick up clothes with my closed eyes 👀(to the extent of dressing appropriately for an occasion, OF COURSE, keeping in mind “the end destination”, second structural layer of style sandwich).
Then I remember the archetype: I love to show up refined, feminine and elemental - the lady, but that lady in my case is a heretic! That helps me remember about giving my style the so so necessary intimidation and intrigue.
I cannot express in words how liberating it is to manage to combine all the elements of style logic. It’s a feeling of an artist being proud with her creation, I suppose.
💜💎🗝️
My biggest problem is actually finding clothing stores that sell individual and unique pieces that don't cost £100+!
Finding places to shop is definitely a part of the style process
Yessssss, this is d biggest obstacle.
Returning to this video after watching Moonstone style logic… they ARE so similar in a way! Even though I have no doubt that I belong in LU quadrant, the essence of style logic is very… fragile? I often loose grasp on it, maybe because of the lack of practicing it.
It's like an inverse process but the thing to remember is that LU wants to feel seen and to feel like they are making an energetic impression. They really worry about not being seen enough, feeling too bland or hidden. The moonstones are looking for an inner result, a feeling. Being seen or complimented is a nice bonus not the goal
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita I'll remember that! It instantly made me remember the actual point of Moonstone analogy.
It's a gem with a muted surface colour, and it's shine is somewheree deep inside. Visible&majestic, undoubtedly! but it is not made to "blind" you with it's gleam
Long awaited video ❤❤❤
Yes! I went looking for this video yesterday and was wondering when she’d make an amethyst guide. Love it !
Yesss 🎉
My head is buzzing, I love this so much! 💜💜💜
I just thought for a long time that it is difficult for me to understand the difference between LU and RD, because in my mind they were very similar, although outwardly they were completely different! Now I know why! Are there any effective ways to determine where you are closer - LU or RD?
Up is all about being extra, high effort, high visual impact to others, wow factor.
Down is comfort for you to feel more cosy, it is way more understated.
Left is intrigue, others being drawn to you, mystery.
Right is shining your light on to others, radiating, shining like the sun.
I hope that helps make the understanding easier for you 😊
@@judith.romance I'm afraid I'm so confused in myself that this will not help me, but thank you very much for wanting to help 💖
@@judith.romancei disagree about down essences being mostly understated. I found that it’s more about having a much more delicate expression. “Delicate” is visible for me absolutely always in case of RD.
First words that come to mind with LD - body accommodation.
Whereas for RU I would choose “cohesive”, probably, and LU… is the hardest of them all, if truth be told (maybe because I am a LU myself 😅). I would have said that for me LU dressing is like drawing an abstract painting. Its an art of showing very strongly and boldly something from the inside and is meant to evoke a strong reaction.
P.S. if we continue art analogies, RD would be a watercolour technique for me, and probably Impressionism style. RU - classical? Maybe expressionism with its bolder and brighter outline of reality?… and then LD - pop-art, with its bold and inviting visual part that doesn’t provide hidden meanings.
@@katecat8204try looking for Rita’s and her husband‘a videos on 4-key system for men! You won’t except it, but it is presented so much clearer!
Very simplistically, left is a “bad boy”, right is a “good boy”. Up is “glamour” in every way imaginable, down is… softness and delicacy of expression, if that makes sense
Wow, thank you. Every word speaks to my soul. I’ve always wanted to channel something into the world but I never thought I had anything to say. But the very desire to be seen is a sign that something has to be made into being, so to say. I love your approach to style because it links everything together. ❤❤❤
I'm so glad it spoke to you!
Muito obrigada por estes videos 🎉
Let's also say I have thoughts that there is a person who cares about people's opinions about clothes. And if in the case of LU this is part of her "equation" for creating an image, then for RD it is what prevents creating an image. And here's how to understand that the opinion of people is what hinders, or what helps?
Bjork and Grimes, like Lady Gaga - these are my favourites, I guess they may be examples to some of these archetypes.
Deep down I knew this but due depression I feel more and more disconnected to my body.
I want to tap into fashion but at the same time I will lack energy for everything else then.
So I throw in whatever. Not caring how I look. But I actually do, I’m just numb to it.
But I accepted to just let my depressed me be. I’m just gonna shutdown and not ackknowledge that ppl perceive me like this. Just let my soul leave my body like always. It’s sad how someone yearning for expression can just shutdown completely when not doing well.
At the same time, perhaps using energy to tap into myself will help me out of that rut.
It just feels like school needs to be a priority and I’m not allowed to put energy elsewhere. At the same time, I won’t actually put my energy there anyway. So since I’m not gonna learn anyway, might as well focus on connecting to myself.
I think that for people with the Amethyst key... Style really affects the way that you feel about yourself.
So you might say "style can wait while I do x y and z"
But in the meantime, if your style isn't there for you, you just feel worse and less confident and it becomes difficult
So instead of putting it off and throwing on whatever, are there some small positive steps you can take?
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita thank you for the reply! I own some pieces that I really like, like some fun slippers with floppy dog ears! I didn’t wear them until a few days ago because “I didn’t want to get them dirty”. “I wanna do proper maintencane but I won’t have energy + I need to do research first so let’s not wear them yet”. But I thought if not now then when? So I wear them now and I do feel more playful and silly, I missed that feeling.
I wanna be wrapped in excitement and my inner world and have people perceive it too. I want to be understood.
I did try two fits in the past and I felt down that no one commented on them. It made me second guess and doubt my inner world.
I did try to convince myself “if they don’t care it means more freedom”
“I shouldn’t care and only care bout my inner world”
But if I make no impact, it feels like I have no significance in this world. Like my inner world wouldn’t be missed, my existence is not worth acknowledging. I’m being rejected for who I am. No one likes me.
(I don’t say it like that but that’s how I’d be feeling)
Anyway Yesterday I found you trough someone else’s comment they wrote 3 years ago haha. They described your in depth approach and it is what I was looking for. I binged ur videos yesterday and It really resonated with me, thank you.
You don’t need to read the following but I want to write this for myself:
My wardrobe is filled with things that i don’t align with bc it reflects how I had to minimize myself for survival.
My parents had it hard, doing their best to feed our family and pay rent.
But children notice.
I don’t have a great relationship with money. It’s scare and I need to make do with the bare minimum (at least no holes).
My parents would say “why would you need new pants, we only just got you some!
(At the time it was said, Last time we went shopping was 5 years ago and I was a teen undergoing puberty n body changes..)
Making me feel guilty like I’m not deserving of anything.
So now I have this dilemma - I need a warm winter jacket. It’s a necessary and my parents agree. However I don’t want to spend hundreds on a jacket I won’t like (imo german stores are very monotone, put together and indulge in some trends here and there. so no all my 19yrs of life I never found anything). The problem is that “I will be stuck with this jacket for life and I will have to commit to it”. It’s a waste of money for me to spent hundreds on something I don’t like. Actually it’s cuz I want to rebel. All my life I had to abide to my parents rules and I want to free myself,
According to my parents I should be myself but they refuse to buy me clothes that don’t personally align with them (for example I like this shirt but bc they don’t like that shade of blue, they refuse me it). Those clothes portray me, which means they reject me but still spew empty nonesense that they “love me for who I am”. (No it’s not about “they didn’t let me buy what I want”. It’s the fact they didn’t let me express myself at all in the first place while carelessly telling me I should just be who I am. While literally not acknowledging or knowing who I even am. And them being the reason why I can’t be myself! There is no safe space to be myself. Because I’m met with shame and judgement. Also their parenting in general was emotionally neglectful and didn’t meet my needs growing up).
I pushed myself away for my parents approval either way. My parents were grateful I was easy to raise. But inside I was just silencing myself. It hurts if you can’t get what you want, so I ignored my likes as if they don’t exist. That makes it easier. Can’t grieve something you never had in the first place.
I’d automatically search for “flaws” to have me let my desires go.
To make it less appealing. To downplay it to save me from disappointment.
And I’m so done.
I don’t want anything that remotely stresses me out.
I wanna throw all the clothes I don’t like out and donate or something. And I tried doing it several times, but my mother would always scold me. I get where she’s coming from. Sustainability is a good thing. But I don’t want your shame and judgement to shackle me any longer!
I often question though;
Is all I do only a trauma response? Is there still no genuine me?
The intense urge to express myself because I had no identity for so long.
Wanting to be seen and recognized trough my fits because I was never acknowledged, welcomed and understood.
Is there still no me beyond my issues?
But there are certainly people in the same situation as me and ended up differently.
Also it’s just anxiety about not having a stable self image yet.
Because I discarded myself right? So I have to go on a journey to discover myself.
However depression makes it hard.
My likes and interests are part of my identity.
I know I love it, but I can’t feel it. So I doubt my identity.
The feeling of excitement evoked in me is an important aspect that signalizes me when I love something. And a depressed brain often isn’t capable of that.
And eventually I forget about what I love. I get anxious and hoard and impulse buy things that even remotely resembles what I know I loved in the past.
And then I realize, resemblence is not enough. I tried convincing myself by saying “a clue/ reference is better than nothing. As long as it help me get to myself”. But I think it is rather counterproductive.
There are pieces I do like but I don’t think I will wear them in public just yet. Because I don’t have other items to make it more cohesive. And that wouldn’t correctly portray the image I have in my head. At the same time I wanna take my time reconnecting and discovering myself. So I’ll actually let myself get used to wear my heart on the sleeve in my room aka where it’s safe and I won’t feel triggered.
There’s like this ecxpectation I should just know myself already. But it wasnt safe for me to do so when I was a child.
The amount of money I’m investing into finding myself stresses me out.
However that money will flow in again in no time.
Phew. I really needed to let off steam.
@@chonntonwonton104 There is a long journey to discover who you are and how you can dress to express who you are. At the moment you have a lot of challenges, but like Rita said, take small steps towards your style because it will help you. Don't worry if nobody comments on what you wear. Sometimes you will get that feedback but usually you won't. Keep taking small steps towards the life and the style you want for yourself and don't let discouragement pull you back. All the best.
@@esmeralda3858 thank you so much for taking the time and responding with a kind comment!!
Rita, I’d love to know which style essence you most identify with!! ❤
right+up sapphire!