Stay in - or Leave - a Relationship?
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- čas přidán 19. 04. 2016
- Should you stay or leave a relationship? Here’s a checklist of questions to ask oneself before heading out too quickly - or too slowly. If you like our films take a look at our shop (we ship worldwide): www.theschooloflife.com/shop/m...
Brought to you by www.theschooloflife.com
Produced in collaboration with Andrew Foerster & Joren Cull
www.rewfoe.com/
Illustration by Joren Cull
jorenmania.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife
Aw man. Who would want to leave a partner so fly
Lol
but that is krombopulos michael, he is dangerous
ohhh snappp LooOoll
Ha ha!
Zinger.
Expectations kill happiness.
Yup. I've been expected to be and do things for a long time and neither of us was happy.
@Bella1982 Exactly.
Nice. You’re onto the Buddhist concept of thirst/craving/desire that leads to suffering.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Close but I think it’s unreasonably high expectations that kill happiness, because having basic standards isn’t a bad thing.
Leaving an unfulfilling relationship hurts but staying in it destroys your life so make the step
sg94 you just helped me. Thank you
Thank you
Thank you for this
thank you
Thank you.
if you are watching this you are going through some pain💔
yes
Confusing pain
Beth Berryhill most definitely:(
@@KGHTOWN I'm sorry for whatever you're going through dear
Beth Berryhill thank you! Time will definitely heal everything eventually
I find a small amount of confort in knowing that I will regret any decision I make, in these kinds of situations.
You'll never know what the other choice would bring you. No need for regret though. You make your decisions, and live with the consequences. You can always break up later, or try to get back together. Of course trying to get back together might be a problem if they aren't interested. Likewise, if you choose to stay, they could leave you. If you're unhappy with the relationship, chances are they are too. Either way though, there's no need for regret.
that is oddly reassuring...
Manuel Campins I feel the opposite. Sometimes I wish my partner would just fuck up really bad so I can stick two fingers up and move out without a care in the world.
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@@S2Tubes Thank you for this Comment!
Kill the fantasy in your head that somebody is going to complete you or mKe you happy. Become the type of person you're looking for and then you'll never be alone even when you're alone. Establish a good reputation with yourself by always being honest and finishing the things you start, and simply, get excited about yourself. Start exercising, get some new clothes that fit perfect and look awesome, get tan, double down on your hygiene and most importantly, stop looking for somebody if you aren't happy in a room by yourself or spending nights alone. Being single is a great thing if you're willing to put in the effort it takes to be satisfied with yourself
Yes!...this is so true, and I know it from experience. So many people expect another to fulfill them but it's logically impossible. When the pressure of expectations is taken off "the relationship" it becomes so much more enjoyable, simple and natural.
I disagree on the expectations part. Expectation is the basis of building upon a relationship, its the starting point of it.
Managing unreasonable Expectations is the problem.
For example expecting to change the personality of your partner in time in something more favorable. Why the hell are you with this person in the first place?
Discovering yourself and learning to love you will help you form more appropriate expectations about what you seek out of a relationship and your partner.
Very true! I was always against of saying "two halfs" or "my better half". NOPE! We're two wholenesses and we do deserve to be loved & supported by each other. Like Jesus said (Mk 12:31) : "'Love others as much as you love yourself.' No other commandment is more important than these."
You shouldn't think that another completes you... That's your job...
But also don't think something is wrong with you if, after all that, there's still something missing. Make the best single life you can, but it's OK to want to be attached eventually. The idea that you're not fit for a relationship until you're 100% satisfied on your own is, I believe, a myth.
This video has probably ended some relationships 😅
Or the opposite, now I'm wondering if my ex was actually right for me and we could have worked things out or if i made the right decision 2 months ago...
We need to end marriage altogether
I don't know what i should do. I never broke up
might be a good thing
And it did for good (probably)
I'm so on the fence with my relationship right now. It's hard to leave someone when you feel like you'd be ripping their heart out by doing so. :(
and what did you end up doing?
Exactly
Amen.....
There with ya and doing it to myself in the process
Oh god! M at that point right now.
Someone on this channel is going through some shit.
LMAO! I was thinking the same thing. I find it funny that they chose this time of year to have these "discussions". They know what's up.LMAO
+The School of Life so none of you are going through any shit?
+Lair780 I was thinking the same. Between these relationship vids, the bizarre rationales for pornography, and the obsessions with using models in place of real people in vids, I have to conclude that ADB is either one seriously damaged individual or the greatest party animal since Hugh Hefner.
+The School of Life Really liked your answer. Even here you like to explain things using the suitable language for this case and not just getting mean as most people would do. I wish more people were like you
+Ujhal Chauhan one doesn't have to be a damaged individual or the greatest party animal to be open to anything that you have insight for. There are writers (Leonard Cohen) and philosophers (Freidrich Nietszche) who possess the same openness, perhaps it's a main reason for living.
Do whatever; but please stop having children in hopes it'll 'give your life and relationship more purpose/happiness'....your own happiness is your own responsibility, nobody else's....and the other parent is in your life forever.(which is guaranteed certain 'unhappiness' in most cases)
Agreed!! I'm also upset he insinuates your unhappy love life doesn't affect the children! Children ARE STILL deeply scarred by their parents separating. No matter how "normal" and "healthy" they may appear to be on the outside, BELIEVE ME they are forever scared emotionally. No child should have to witness a parent's heartbreak, promiscuity, or become that parents emotional crutch. People who do that to their children SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES.
+S. Chambers I think compared to the alternative, children growing up with a bad example of what a long-term relationship looks like, could be more damaging than the instability of having two homes or the loss of relationship with a parent to add to your examples. As a product of divorce I think my struggle without a close father was overshadowed by the bad relationship my mom had with my step-dad. I was still my mother's emotional crutch just with someone who wasn't my dad.
You are essentially asking the smart people who think about these things to cease having children. The people who are unintelligent and just don't care will have kids regardless. You are then left with the children of parents who don't think which cannot possibly be good for the gene pool.
+The Musical Gamer if you are then at a high enough consciousness to 'be smart' then I am essentially asking to help/adopt/foster the kiddos we have coming through this life to navigate properly; rather than reproduce at all...because you can give DNA and hope for the best, but we all know (if intelligent enough) that one has no control over the soul that will occupy that body! Let's work on what we got:) I have high hopes with the intelligence we have got goin on already:)
Violet Jaguar Again though. If the people with the lowest intelligent have kids then it won't matter if smart people raise them. A popular southern phrase in the united states expresses this idea the best: You can't fix stupid.
I left my bf because I realized that while he was committed- he & I wanted different things out of life and were simply not compatible long term. We were willing to work through any small issues but the small issues were just a cover for the large glaring incompatibilities that we had ignored when we began dating. It was a hard lesson to learn that there’s “normal” relationship strife & there’s “We can’t meet each other’s needs without sacrificing who we are” strife and you can only do so much before you make each other miserable.
❤️ just recently did the same. it was definitely not an easy decision as we were so happy spending time together. but acknowledging the fact that two people can just be too incompatible to make things work is a big pill to swallow. we had really been struggling to make the bigger picture together work but i feel fully confident that our decision to split was the best for both of us
The video didn't helped me at all. Disappointed by the simplicity of which Alan treated this subject and the illustrator made it look like if you leave, you are done and you'll regret it. But your comment just resonates with my situation so much, still I feel so stuck and wanting to make it work I compromised a lot more than he did and I feel like my personality faded. I forgot who I was until pandemic ended and I started going out again and saw my personality revived again. We are so different...
@@magpie913 thank you for this comment. it helps me
This is the situation I’m in now. I feel like I know what I have to do but I’m scared to be alone and be without that person. I love them so much but the relationship is just not fulfilling to me.
This hit too close to home 😭 I love him too much to leave and feel like my life would be nothing without him and we do want the same things lond term, but we’re just too different and we keep hurting each other. I feel like he doesn’t have the strength to leave me either but I feel like I’ve hurt him so much and don’t want to hurt him anymore
The moment he said “Leave” at the end, my stomach dropped to the floor. How dumb am I? My life is so much better, happier because of my partner. This made it so clear. I need to work on myself, on being a better partner in order to improve my relationship. Thanks.
I was feeling the exact same way. I clicked on this video out of curiosity; as soon as that last bit played, I remembered how in love I am.
talk to him about yourself. Or things will not work. Im sure he can help alot
Oh, I had a fight with my partner today, but yes, I‘m happier and it’s so good having some one. Even though our positions are incompatible in this topic right now and even though we don’t get around solving it, I want to work on loving kindness, indulgence and compassion towards her :)
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
@@simonkraemer3725 relationship ain't for everyone, blame money, shame on you if it doesn't work, society doesn't really care, quite a burden for a daunted individual, attributed to the risk and not always attempted because of difficulties, dating apps don't always work, reflect how you feel if you stayed single🚩💲✅
I keep getting notifications from this, so I edited it. Now you'll never know what it said, nor why it has so many upvotes! Muwahahahaha.
That's so weird. I was just talking about it today with my friend. 😂😊
Are you ok?
+ArmchairIntelligence You are not alone, friend. We all struggle with this endless void inside of us, some of us are just better at hiding it than others. Rest assured in the knowledge that this feeling, above all feelings, is one we all have.
I just broke up today. I had to do this much sooner. But now I should tolerate more pain, because I was coward not to leave.
Can't stop thinking about it
IF I GO THERE WILL BE TROUBLE
IF I STAY IT WILL BE DOUBLE
IF I STAY THERE WILL BE TROUBLE
IF I GO THERE WILL BE DOUBLE ...
Now repeat to infinity x)
Should I stay or should I go?
'children would rather be in a broken family, than an unhappy one'
this one hits home. I'm no longer a child anymore but I'm sick of my parents fighting for just about my entire existence. I don't know how to tell em I want them to just end it and be in peace. anyway great video and insight.
rb26dett My dad finally took the plunge and is divorcing my mother after 30+ years. He was shocked when I told him that I wasn't upset or surprised, but I mean when something is broken there comes a time to just move on. Why would I have a problem with him pursuing happiness, ya know?
Most of the fighting will end, of course.
Try having it happen when you're three years old. It fucking sucks and it lasts. Forever.
rb26dett my parents divorced when I was two but kept arguing forever. living with my mum didnt help much.
Awe I'm sorry :( I grew up with that too I know how bad it sucks...
What kills relationship is the expectations we put on the other person to make us happy. But we hardly ever think of their happiness.
Or working on ourselves to make us content and not expecting other ppl to make us happy. Also, you cant sacrifice ur own peace of mind just to make others happy.
That’s the exact reason why I’m leaving. My ex tried to extract happiness out of me to my breaking point.
@@evez2093 same
lol what,nothing but think about their happiness, question was why? why did i feel that way. I releaized she didnt fight fair she would threaten, flirt with other guys and gaslight and say I am overeacting and was never encouraging.
So no i Thought about her happiness but what about me.
As men we are givers, but when is it manly to not give. Demand respect how do you demand respect this goes for bother sexes.
but with all seriousness if you base your relationship on your feelings, you'd really mess it up. Love is not just about feelings. It is that commitment to show affection to your partner regardless of how you feel. That's what makes relationships last.
Roger Ray Marriages and civil relationships are just living with, co operating on a daily routine with a close friend that you fuck, you can make all sorts of friends with different qualities and fuck em, not really worth it unless you wanna have kids
Very well said. It's amazing how many people end relationships because they feel that their "feelings" have changed. F**k your feelings. There are objective qualities about a person which make them attractive and should be treasured, regardless of what mood you're currently in. Feelings (especially women's feelings) can come and go and change like the wind. Qualities such as being handsome/pretty, intelligent, funny, kind, considerate, loving, etc. should make somebody worth holding on to.
What is cheating? A picture or an action.
But if being in a relationship makes you feel crappy why would you want it to last?
Melody Cornelius - because what if it’s you that’s making the relationship crappy. And that the same thing could happen in your next relationship.
I'd be unhappy too if I was dating a damn fruit fly
oh damn! I totally thought the same and believed I was the only once. Thanks god I am not...
😂😂😂 yea that would definitely be a deal breaker
They'd die off after a few days and you'd be fine, you'd just wait it out.
pixel plants It would be a shitty situation
Lol xD same
The breakup checklist, summarised:
1) How much of our unhappiness can be tightly attributed to this particular partner? Might similar feelings result from any attempt to live in such close proximity to someone?
2) In what ways might we ourselves be a bit hard to live with?
3) What do we manage not to fight about? Consider previous partners
4) Get to know your crushes better
5) Think about how many intelligent and sexually available people our single friends actually tend to come into contact with day-to-day
6) Have an honest conversation with your partner about your sadness
7) Think about how you would feel as a child of this pairing as it currently is vs under parental separation
8) Remind yourself that it might be rather normal not to have great sex after a long time together
9) Consider whether you’re ready to trade this familiar feeling unhappiness for a new and hopeful but more complex and lonely variety
If you still have the impulse to leave the relationship, leave.
Could somebody explain 3) 5) and 9) to me
@@princechughtai No
@@princechughtai 9 means in essence, are you willing to live a life without the person which would also be unhappy by nature of a breakup in itself and experience the feeling of loneliness that comes with separation and not finding the person for you and being okay in that "loneliness" instead of remaining unhappy with the one youre currently with. This comes also with hope for a better life in the future after the heartache or doom and gloom if that hope never realised itself into anything good in the form of a new and better partnership. OR, are you wiling to stay in the familiar space of current unhappiness you're experiencing with the person currently? Im not so sure on 3 and 5
@@abisola21ify Wow, didnt think someone would reply. actually a tough question...mhm I was not willing to stay, might be out of hope but also because it dont think it was worth the struggle
@@princechughtai whatever your decision, I hope all is better now
The saying " Listen to your gut feeling" is very true. If something feels off and you keep getting that same feeling repeatedly don't ignore it. Better to leave and if you can do it amicably. If it's abusive just leave as safely as you are able. Nobody wins "living a lie"!
He walks out the door, the light flips on in the baby's room, and my heart breaks.
It was sad but many men do it.
I didnt even notice the baby 😭😭😭
I was totally unprepared for that aspect of the ''conclusion''. It was haunting.
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
It would be great if the video had subtitles. I don't know why, I had trouble focusing through the whole thing.
Same plus the accent is kind of difficult to understand and the pictures are kind of a distraction
+Bathna33 I agree. My problem with this video was the low volume of the audio. I had both computer audio and youtube audio at maximum and still I could barely hear.
+Merione1996 I thought it's just me for a second! I hope they add subtitles to the video.
+Bathna33 Yes, the background noises are way, way too loud.
Close your eyes.
The hardest part is realizing that love is not enough. If something isn’t working, it doesn’t matter how much you love one another..
I think in addition to this very wise list Alain wrote for us, we all should write our personal "checklists" too. A set of questions we might write with the insights we gained from all the mistakes we have made in the past, so that we don't repeat them again. So here is my checklist:
1. Is this still a curious person?
Because a person who had stopped wondering about the world is half dead inside. You can try to help, but if he thinks it's perfectly fine, then there isn't much hope.
Or is he turning into some kind of a sarcastic, arrogant, bitter intellectual who thinks he already knows it all? Then you must leave immediately. Those folks are unbearable. You will feel like coming out of a prison after you leave. An incredible relief I mean...
2. Do you still share the same values? Does he still believe in brotherhood, humility and the importance of leading a " meaningful" life?
3. Over the course of time, did you begin to notice many similarities he may have to your parents?
Because that would mean that you might be implicitly looking for the same unhappiness you had in your childhood. As Alain put it so wisely:
"We believe we seek happiness in love, but what we may actually seek is familiarity."
4. When he criticises you, does he do it genuinely to help you to be the better version of yourself, or is it rather to discourage you, to give you the feeling that you are inferior to him, and therefore you would "need" him to survive. ( Which is never the case for nobody.There is always "life" after that person. )
5. Does he very often say that you are over sensitive? Then time to leave may be soon too. Fragility is a strength indeed. You feel hurt because you open yourself. That openness is supposed to bring you closer to the other person. Kindness is no weakness!
Well, I never lived together with a boyfriend ( thank God), but I still feel that this little list is the result of a lot of thought , observation and unnecessary suffering.
Male friends, please don't feel offended. If I was a man, I would ask the very same questions about a woman too.
Thanks a lot for this very wise l lesson! The animation is wonderful too!
Fuck. I'm basically 20% bitter sarcasm at this point O_o
TheVladdracula1 thats not entirely bad if someone understands your humour
they dont... 99% of the time if im joking everyone thinks im serious and when im serious everyone thinks im joking
You are so right! Thank you for this, it helped me just as much as the Video!
LOVE
I can't decide what is best on this channel.
The Information
The Narrating
The Animations
or all together
+leonardo celente They had a video where a snowman had a carrot penis. The answer is obvious
Leonardo Celente all together
Leonardo Celente I love you. You are right
Leonardo Celente qe
Leonardo Celente I can help you out. It’s not the animations
Luckily my ex girlfriend made this decision for me. I've put way to much effort in our relationship and was left out of a mood, about a month later she came back to me and told me she made a mistake. Thankfully she opened my eyes before that. I am much happier now without her. Always remember your energy is limited and valuable, don't waste it mindlessly.
My ex wife always used threats as a way to motivate me to do anything. It took me a while to realize that she was miserable and in turn making me miserable. She threatened to divorce me repeatedly then I got tired of it, packed my things and left. Best decision I've ever made. I may not be rich (I've always been poor) but at least I don't have someone who throws their insecurities upon me. She was never happy and I feel sorry for whoever is going to share a life with her. No one deserves what I went through. I'm happy to see that there are guys like me who finally saw a light through a dark tunnel.
+Julien "Always remember your energy is limited and valuable, don't waste it mindlessly." I like this!
Waw
outofhisdammind can you elaborate on how she projected her insecurities onto you?
el floof, normally it goes that it's your fault, or that you're not doing something, or that you're doing something that you aren't, it's always going to be your fault and the other person won't take ownership. Some people thrive on misery and need drama in their day, it's just unfortunate if you end up on the other end of that.
This will literally save lives from being destroyed. Either from people in an unhappy relationship having the strength to leave- or by reminding those leaving on impulse that the repercussions are huge.
thought this was about the EU referendum
lol
that's how i ended up here)
lol you idiot
fuck you
We finally leaving
You will be sad either way.
But I guess you don't get to deal with the burden of your partner, instead you have to deal with yourself. Since the only thing you can pretty much control is yourself and the direction of where you want to take your life, then I guess it's a little better.
+S Al Ameri In above mentioned circumstances you are sad already
You’ll also be happy either way!
How do you figure?
Be sad forever or for a while?It's not the same.
I left... Then I got angry because once I was out I wished I had left sooner! When you start to ponder leaving, it's already overdue.
So true
Yes
#facts
"when you start to ponder leaving, it's already overdue" need that on a post it note
This is an excellent comment. I wish I could do more than 'like' it.
Our concept of hope tends to be stronger than our memories of good experience, so we're more likely to move on than to stay. But the problem is that we often don't see how good things are until we no longer have them. What a dilemma.
"face the risk of perhaps achieving no more than exchanging a familiar kind of unhappiness for a new and more complex variety of unhappiness" ... i know this isn't a comedy show but that's brilliance
This guy sounds like he's narrating Lemony Snicket's: A Series of Unfortunate Events.
Jiminy cricket :3
I love u
I am so happy that someone else thought the same thing and nearly a hundred other people like that comment
So... Jude Law, then
Life is a series of unfortunate events.
The timing on this cannot have been more perfect.
+Wrongderful right?
Yer telling me
Wrongderful...and...two years later...I agree...
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
"Wonder whether you really want to choose hope over experience." This line clearly defines what I'm thinking right now and I'm crying over what to choose. :(((
I see your post, it was 4yrs ago. May i ask what did you choose
@@MarianaHernandez-ni4diI eventually left. I realize that staying was a bad choice because trust wasn’t there anymore. I still love that person till this day but I also came to realize that he can still be happy even without me. And as long as he is happy, then I am happy too. Staying would even break us more but who knows really. We all have to live by our decisions and make the best out of it.
Choose hope over experience? I have been in enough relationships to know that I am responsible for my experience in a relationship. The idea that simply finding yet another person to have a relationship with will solve the problem is a sneaky illusion. I think, ultimately, that the choice actually boils down to this: stay single forever, or put in the work (!!!) to make a relationship function better. All the problems people think they can solve by leaving will only follow them, because the 'problems' are within themselves.
I love how they actually choose different species so that in no fucking way you people could make the video an issue about gender roles.
Hellblazer302 its pretty obvious who is which gender, though
Yeah, this comment makes no sense; they're still literally depicting women with skirts and long hair and men with beards and pants and shit, haha. im not sayig this bothers me, I'm just saying this comment is really ignorant lmao
Both gender and race :)
@@beth-does...somesh1t how you know the one wearing skirt and long hair is a female? There are guys who wear it
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
Adele needs to see this video
+Picheal Naver lol
+Picheal Naver
:-)
She should set it to music
Taylor Swift could have some advice of this video too
+Picheal Naver hello,
+Brush Runner hi you silly teenager, how are you doing?
I attempted to have a relationship. They wanted constant support and attention while dropping their problems onto me. I of course gave them the support and attention while essentially becoming a packing mule for their problems. They weren't there for me ever, I didn't know if I even was loved, and I felt extremely undervalued in that relationship. Breaking it off was like putting a dying animal out of its misery.
I think it's the refusal for communication because of the idea of a soul mate. Incompatibility is a thing in relationships, but people often judge themselves incompatible when the problem really is just a misunderstanding of each other. We all refuse to communicate after a certain point because we want someone who understands us immediately about everything.
To love someone is to treat their needs as yours, and to commit to someone is commiting to understand and forgive them over and over again.
But not until you wear yourself out ofc
I agree!! However, do you not think rehashing the same arguments or misunderstanding over and over with out actually getting anywhere with the problems you're facing is quite toxic? Just out of curiosity. I'm wondering where the line is drawn.
@@Myth1ca It is!
There are things that are difficult to change immediately, and even if they try to change that, you have to accept that this will take time. In the meantime, you have to accept the particular shortcoming, and your partner needs to accept your emotions about their messups.
And then there are things that might never resolve and end up with an argument from time to time. It is to the both of you to accept that and it includes the potential argument itself.
However, when it comes to a serious boundary, it shouldn't be an over and over argument. After one more time, it is time to leave the relationship.
The hardest thing in a relationship is to give without expecting anything in return, but at the same time not being a doormat, and not giving up yourself for your partner.
How people get this together, i do not understand.
It happens to any of us to be at the point of no return into a relationship!The best choice is to take a chance.If it doesn't work (still) separation will be a bliss ;) People have lost many things that ARE IMPORTANT in a relationship such as trust, respect, LOVE, understanding, comfort.....Both women and men are trapped by ideal love they've seen in the movies......Be realistic and try to understand that a strong relationship needs 2 GROWN UPS individuals whom are trying to build up something that will last for years!Best of luck folks!
thumbs up to this
I was the 100th like. Give me money
2:18 "does she eat too much fish"
dude fears for his life
This comment legit made me snort my drink into my nose
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
It's pathetic and destructive to stay or be in a relationship because "it's better than being alone" or "what if I can't find better than this?". SOme people are slaves to the opinion of strangers. Think about your own happiness. It is pathetic that most people base their own self value and happiness on what strangers think.
Shadow Heart we all do, we are social beings. You probably/possibly take pleasure in being "different" and going against the norm. That is only possible if there is a "norm". 😜
Klimt Kahlo It is tricky for me to comment on social conduct (I just stated what I felt before, and I apologize for being harsh) because I don't think I am a normal case. I am antisocial asexual introvert that happens to be an only child that also relocated a lot.
I don't think most people are like that. I am much happier alone than being with anyone else (even with my dear mama).
By the way, I love this channel and it is teaching me a lot about the species I belong to. :)
am slave to fuel units
F. Teixeira If you mean stuck in a relationship for financial reasons then I understand it's difficult and I am really not in a position to comment on that at all for lack of knowledge and wisdom.
Shadow Heart you may have missed the point here. it's not about staying just to stay but realizing it may be worse to leave and perhaps worse in another relationship. speaking for myself, I have had one failed relationship after another and I think I'm a good catch! lol , but I am at a point where I'm too invested to leave and start all over again! I liked this video because it shows me it's ok that all is not perfect, happy or ideal. it shows me that my way of thinking about it can let me live day to day without dread. I have to choose to live my life regardless if I'm married or single but bailing out won't guarantee peace of mind. unless your life is in danger I say give it your all...
I’m really glad that I found this video several months ago. This video helped me decide what to do with my relationship. After 5 years we finally decided that we didn’t meant to be together anymore. I felt really guilty that I will break his heart but when the day came of our breakup it turned out that he felt the same as me. And now we feel so much better and happy when we live our life separately without each other. My advice is that don’t rush breakup. First of all you need to analyze your relationships to smallest details and then you can make a decision what you truly need and want. For example I in our relationship felt not stable and I wasn’t sure if it’s gonna work from the beginning of our love. So 5 years I suffered from thoughts about separation. Take your time and just think is this person really makes you happy or do you just like the idea of having them by your side. 😊
So you gotta let me know...
Should I stay or should I go?
Do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do
Do Do Do Do
Stay.
Go.
Stay. The grass is never greener on the other side, the grass is greenest where you water it.
L'arc-en-ciel - Stay Away
Best channel on CZcams. Compelling and interesting uploads with humour and always seem to be relevant to me!
True
+tye boyce What humour? I only feel depressed xD
+Lotje .Regenboog is that where some form of laughter comes from? If we don't laugh we cry.
+Lotje .Regenboog The animations are pretty humorous, I agree though, this would be a very depressing thing to podcast.
+tye boyce I totally agree. They are just relevant to you, but to all of us.
It will be 3 years in august and now the relationship feels like a sentence. Long distance relationship and introvert partner is a deadly combo. I was so in love and now i feel hollow with all the silence between us.
Well I think it's safe to say cheating/lying and unwillingness to take the effort to show they can be trustworthy is a definitive deal breaker cuz who need that constant source of anxiety of not knowing if you can trust the person ,who's supposed to be closest to you, to have your best interests at heart and to have your back? I'm sorry but that's the type of negativity no one needs!
True
So true 💕 thanks for sharing your words of wisdom
Thats what Ive been living with. My bff husband is my worst enemy.
Waiting for the day I have the $$$ to leave
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
I agree
A video about deeply loving "THE WRONG" person will be much appreciated . Thank you
+Timtim Nana San That answer is simple: The "wrong" person is always the person who doesn't love you. If you don't love yourself, you will always be with the wrong person. Learn to love yourself and you will never again settle in a relationship.
"Exchanging a familiar kind of unhappiness for a new and more complex variety"
Wish I would've watched this shit before ending a 4 year relationship a couple days ago...
how does it feel ? how do you feel ?
I'm trying to decide. This exchange is what's most scary about leaving a long term relationship
Kyler Brown it's been a few months since you posted this and I'm just curious what ended up happening? Did you try getting her back?
please reply !! haha
Wondering indeed how you are doing now a year after changing your life completely I would guess? Do you regret, relief, happiness sadness?
I decided to leave. I would avoid watching videos like this for as long as I have these doubts cuz I was afraid this would lead me to a major crisis. Leaving someone who did no wrong and gave everything he had in the relationship is the most difficult decision I have had to face ever. I never was sure about leaving and I kept him in the dark for as long as I had these doubts. Not having a conversation about the way, I was feeling because I didn't want to hurt him was my biggest mistake. In the meantime I would feel that I was screaming on the inside while on the outside I try to keep going, as usual, I wouldn’t tell anybody about my mental fight cuz I was deeply ashamed. I would countless times try to reassure myself by repeating to myself, "this exists only in your mind", and "these doubts are not real, they only live in your brain". This plus other issues lead me to a point where I literally lost my mind and finally had to say "Oh dear lord, I'm in so much trouble" and was forsaken to face the huge wave that was about to turn my life upside down.
How did you feel after the decision?
I'm in the same exact situation, but haven't had the guts to do it yet.
From experience, I'm gonna say that you need to communicate this to your partner or it will build up and you will end up being distant or ending the relationship anyway. The key here isn't to say that you are having "doubts about the relationship", but you to make it something you can work on together such as "I've been having a hard time feeling good about us recently"
If you just let the feeling build up without talking it out then you have to understand that you're not even doing the smallest thing to give the relationship a chance. And at that point, your partner deserves better than you anyway. They deserve someone who at least tries to communicate
This channel has helped me through many difficult times. It's comforting to know that my feelings are natural, and I am certainly not alone in them!
Many thanks and lots of love x
These characters are horrifying, thank god I didn't take my shrooms before watching this.
+Garrett Taylor Agreed, I thought I took the shrooms already
🤣😆😂
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
This was very emotional. Especially for me because I don't know if I should keep being friends with my "best friend" or leave.
Any update?
My best friend and I just stopped talking to each other this month after being friends for 4 years (we have each other blocked and everything)...honestly I dont regret anything. We both changed and ended up arguing all the time...my life is more peaceful and less drama without her. 10/10 good decision because of the shitty way she was starting to treat me.
Update
Update
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
if you want to defend a relationship, you will. You'll lift mountains and stir the sea. Even when you have to be at the losing side most of the time, you don't mind when what you win is a relationship, doesn't matter your cost. He is nothing everything for me to got drop dead over him, only living a sad life story that I kept feeling sorry for that I don't mind tolerating as much to keep him feeling fine. He was the one who kept treating me unwell and he was the one decided to leave me for good and ignored me for months. He was the one who told everyone came up with a new girl in his life a month later after the break and that was the ultimatum of me from hoping anything, not even to return back anymore. Been almost half year and he's been pleading for me to come back, and I'll never return. When he wants to just have a talk, I said no way I'm depressed just by seeing your face.
Dear..he is a typical narcissistic person. Don't give in. Be strong and move on with life. You will find happiness somewhere else.
How fucking convenient I'm literally outside my girlfriends house right now and we're about to talk about this
+Reps ForJesus good luck buddy
Hope it went/will go well
Tell us how it goes bro.
probably should have done a couple more reps for allah
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
Agreed this is one of the best yet.I had a crush that while imperfect was still a ray of hope, a wake up call to me that I was unhappy and settling with my partner at the time. When you lose yourself and bend your will or baseline values to accommodate someone else it's not worth staying. Good relationships should inspire you to grow not irk you to crave growth or force it upon an inherently mismatched dynamic. Thanks TSOL for breaking it down so eloquently as always.
this made me treasure the relationship im in now :) allthough its my first i feel like we really get along well and we have lasted for a couple of years now. Feels amazing to have someone by your side to support you in your life and to have something to protect from all the hassles of life. good video
I seriously doubt those behind this channel see this five minute video as a be-all, end-all on the subject guys. sheesh.
That said, whoever put this together, thank you. This five minutes actually really helped give me some clarity, and every once in a while it's nice to be reminded to check oneself.
I'm going to call her.
+tye boyce I've been thinking about it for weeks, but timing is a shitty thing. I don't want to fuck things up when she has important things to do in the moment.
***** Same, but we gotta do, what feels right to us. And if it feels wrong to be go with a shitty timing, then we'll have to wait, I guess - as long as we take the chance to go, if we have it.
***** Jep, I do.
+tye boyce communication is key brother. good luck
+ADLERMusic
Write her a text. Sometimes it's easier to write down how you feel, then it is to say it. And it allows her to read the message when she has the time. Otherwise, don't wait for the right moment, just create a moment. Stop by her place and knock on the door, or send her a small gift. Something you know will make her laugh. Be spontaneous. Besides, what we tend to remember about people, is not what they said, but how they made us feel.
This was so FUCKING on point. I went through the same stages of wondering whether to stay or go and it was amazing how you've made me feel much less alone. A big fan of the channel, please keep making these wonderful videos!
This is one of the best videos I've ever seen. It's so beautiful. You can see how every person that worked on this video did an amazing job.
I cried by the end of this video, when seeing the children.
I’m a father who left my family for my wife’s cheating. It’s hard to confront that I actually wanted to pursue my career during this 17 years relationship. I almost gave up on my career for being a farther and husband. Then, I found out her cheating. So 8 months ago, I left my 3 years old child to pursue my dream.
But the hardest part is woke up without my son. It’s painful. But deeply I know it was my choice.
Thank you for making this video so I can have the courage to keep walking.
Don’t let your son be a victim of your relationship with your ex wife... I know the feeling.
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
Okay lmao
i hope that you’re doing well. it’s been 3 years since you posted this, but i hope things are good
A cheater and a child abandoner. What a pair you two are
Toxic relationship "leave" Long distance relationship "make it work" A Loving Relationship "Stay"
sometimes watching a school of life video that is completely irrelevant to the struggles I'm having (stressed about a uni project that I really don't enjoy any aspect of) somehow makes me feel a little more at ease.. I think it could be the general ease, comfort, and understanding tone that comes with the videos, but also the fact that it opens my mind up to what other people might be thinking, like, it forces me to look up from my selfish little fetal position that was cramping my neck.
ps this was one of my favourite videos in it's style, and also because it had credits a part of the video.
Love how gentle the narrator's voices are in these videos. This video was so thoughtful but also sad in the end, just like the ending of a relationship.
Being competent when it comes to emotional and philosophical issues, is extremely difficult in so many situations. Thank you for the great content!
When you encounter a problem in a relationship, fix it, don't leave
Adam Sammartino I think that’s a good rule of thumb, however my issue is not being affectionate as part of my personality and not intimate. My partner wants intimacy and affection and I cannot provide that. I cannot bring myself to care enough to provide it either, and forcing myself to like them would be dishonest. The fix in this case is to leave.
If both people are willing, then yes.
@@Kata_Rin if you were affectionate before then when you felt something that disturbed that feeling you shouldve talk right away. Never wait to see if it becomes better
If you're already sad, you have no chance of happiness in the future. At least if you leave, there's some probability of finding real love. Bad relationships don't bounce back to great. They might become neutral, but then you might as well just live with a roommate.
2126Eliza The best comment out here! Thank you for a thought
there's no such thing as real love. Infatuation only lasts for about a maximum of 2 years then the spark starts to fade. After that u are left with affectionate love (the roommate feeling) and what u feel like is missing it's not real love but missing the spark.
It will fade...
What is that supposed to mean ?
You can be sad for many reasons !?
Just because you’re sad you wouldn’t leave your partner. Sounds very generalised
No, being sad in a relationship is a normal thing. It’s a healthy thing. It’s a necessary thing. You won’t find „true love“ if you’re not willing suffering through a dark episode in your relationship, because the overcoming of these crises are what binds two people together; the knowledge that you already gone through this much with your partner, they won’t let you down this time too.
Exactly
Just got out of a two year relationship, me being the one breaking it off. I haven’t felt this freed and relaxed in a long time!
How do you feel now man, after a year? How come you broke it off? If you dont mind
I’m about to leave mine as well in 2 days, though i still love my partner very extremely much. I wonder if i’d feel the same way as you do.
𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒖𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝑶𝒀𝑨𝑳𝑻𝒀? 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑰 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒔𝒂𝒘 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒆. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓.𝒄𝒐𝒎 .
@@hlewis5217 how did it go ?
@@davidgonzalez3252 we’re still together, stronger than ever before-thanks to weekly s3x!
Relationships are mystical by nature. We start out waking together , when the timing is right or lust kicks in we have the bow chica wow wow. The incredible toe curling sex , works wonders if you keep at it. But.... But when the new rubs off and the junk piles up you have to both want it and work at it.
If you are constantly exhausted from working at it solo, or your partner can’t be bothered 😕 it’s time to either talk it over or walk your way.
The loneliest I have ever been was when I was married. I won’t try that again
4:06 Hope or experience? Amazing.
I've alway been a "hope" person but after 8 years i'm ready to switch to "experience"
At the end of the day your responsible for your happiness and no one elses. If you're not happy you can't truly make the others around you happy. Don't stay in a relationship simply because you don't want to make the other person sad, everyone is in this boat. The longer you prolong it the more damage it'll cause.
Try to be an open rational partner, sometimes people fall out of love, control your emotions and don't guilt people into staying with you. If someone truly loves you and is meant to be with you they will come begging to be in your life again and if they don't you were never meant to be together in the first place.
Esharido thank you for this
I wouldn't say 'never meant to be together in the first place'. Maybe not long term, but relationships start and end throughout most people's lives. They shape us, and help us learn more not just about life, but ourselves overall.
So they may have meant to be together, just not for a long endurance.
The silhouettes at the end really got to me. I couldn't imagine leaving my partner like that, but I guess for some people that's just the way it is.
they got to me too. the truth is it does look like that in some way. but once you get to your friend's house, you'll get through the night.
I'm about to cry
XcccVcccX What's worse is when you want to stay but are forced to go.
It's a sad reality we live in
And yet, both myself and our 3 year old child were left exactly like that this week...
I've been hung up on my ex for months... I just want to not think about them anymore... I can't explain how much your videos have helped me tonight. Thank you. Subscribed. Love you.
Relationships are not for me. I already see a lot of suffering from most of couples entrapped in toxic relations, plus that I can't be tolerant with the same shit again and again, day after day. I sense that I'm kind intolerant. People tell me that I'm calm and peaceful, well, that's because I would just pass some hours with you, not every day of my life.
Eduardo Felipe oh wow. My sentiments exactly. Does that make us narcissistic? Selfish? Un-loving? Impatient?
Perfect.
My neighbors. A week ago, she was saying "my love, my love", now she's gone, packed her things and left. People use to say what they think they feel or should feel, not what's true in heart.
liars
oh gosh what a terrible approach
makes you feel scared about being alone, what most of people already are
so if you are in doubt probably you're not going to break up after this video
of course there's a risk about being single
but life is like that
it's hard and sad sometimes
but its better than to live a lie with someone
being half person to this person its unfair to this person too
being in a eternal doubt
people should allow themselves to feel stuff
to knew stuff
to feel a little bit of freedom without the fear of being alone forever
cause we already are alone and that's it
H Suzuki i think this is what i needed to hear. Thank you.
you're welcome. i'm glad it made sense for you.
Loneliness really isn't as terrible or horrifying as society makes it out to be.
There is actually something comfortable and serine in seeking solitude.
I have found strength to love and respect for myself that I previously did not see.
H Suzuki
I agree that this video is very bad and will make anyone watching it not leave their relationship, even if it's abusive.
I think this video is for family people or people who have been together for a very long time
Brilliant and so true.. the problem is always perceived as the other person despite the one constant in all our failed relationships being ourselves :-) Nice job Alain!
I think these are very good points. Also it‘s important to put aside childish expectations: you won’t find a partner where you don’t go through crisis. Where you encounter problems that seem to not be fixable, standpoints, that aren’t compatible. My mom told me she and my dad first felt genuine love for each other when they overcome their first real crisis. But of course there are partners that treat their partner just bad, relationships without any substance to hold them together, really insurmountable conflicts, unforgivable things or just the lack of right strength to work through these problems. I think it’s more of a life task to find out, which relationship you can safe and which is better to leave.
in less than 2 months I heard "you're perfect!"
"I think I'm falling for you"
everything with you is so perfect it's scary"
"I didn't expect this"
"I love you"
"I've never felt this way with anyone before"
"you are wonderful"
"when we kiss it is so passionate"
"I get butterflies whenever I see you or hear from you"
"this is scary"
"I would do anything with you"
"I just want to date other people to see if you're really the one"
"a guy asked me out who I knew in high school and I want to date him".
"just give me some space"
"he races on weekends"
"he's not as attractive as you"
"we shouldn't see each other anymore, I'm sorry"
when I asked her how she feels when she kisses him,
she refused to discuss it and suggested that we never talk to each other anymore.
I told her I didn't need people like her in my life.
diagnosis: she's batshit crazy, or a gold digger, or both.
Or immature
I'm sorry this happened to you :(
Attachment style.
This is amazing. The existential lonelyness is torture. I'm going through this exact thing right now. Nothing will give me any form of answer or direction.
I'm going to end the relationship with my husband soon and this came up. This feels relatable and objective. Thankyou for posting this, this makes me think more about how and what should i do.
I didn't watch the video I listened to it. But wow I feel like I've learned a lot about my self and am more confident in choosing him everyday..
I think it's important to add the fact that our needs must be communicated to our partners vs thinking they can read our minds. Then giving x amount of time(how ever long you feel comfortable waiting) for said changes to take place. Realistically after a certain amount of time and a certain amount of "mistakes" it really someone's behavior or lack there of that can make or break a relationship
I swear i can’t get enough of this channel thank you so much
Im a heavy thinker and a doubtful person, so sometimes I need that reminder. Thank u for this
I have had this question boiled for a while now, why does so many suggest to leave immediately at the first sight of not matching 100%. Super thanks for the video!
The illustration is just lovely-whacky
I broke up after spending 8 years in a relationship, the point that triggered me was when he said to his friend that I am his good friend and he does not feel necessarily bound to me in this relationship. At this time I decided to have an open conversation about the present and future of our relationship. I asked if he wanted to work on our relationship to make it better and he said I don't know what else I can do. At this point I decided that we better get out of this relationship and here I am. I feel relaxed, light and clear. I have reflected so many times in past months on my decision and every time my heart said you made the right choice.
You have no idea how much I've thought about this. But I'm glad there are points mentioned in the video that I didn't consider. Here's hoping it will work out for the better because right now I feel extremely, uncomfortably stuck and losing at life.
I transcribed and divided (while still retaining the structure of the video) the text into individual questions to ask oneself for easy reference:
(One):
How much of our unhappiness can be tightly attributed to this particular partner?
And how much might it, as we would risk discovering 5 years in and multiple upheavals later, simply turn out to be an inherent feature of any attempt to live in close proximity to another human.
(Two):
Though it is of always essentially their fault, what tiny proportion of the difficulties might we nevertheless, be contributing to the discord?
In what modest way might we be a little hard to be around?
(Three):
Consider all the annoying traits in all the previous partners we've had and people we've known that our current partners, happen not to have?
What do we manage not, to fight about?
(Four):
Start to probe at any new infatuation or crushes, largely by getting to know them better.
(Five):
Observe closely how many sexually available and intelligent people -the single types around us- especially those hooked up to those new dating apps, actually manage to encounter day-to-day.
(Six):
Try to have another conversation with your partner in which you don't accuse them mendacity(the act of not telling the truth) and instead simply explain, quite calmly, how you actually feel and how sad you are about quite a few things.
(Seven):
Reflect on how you'd really feel as a child if, henceforth are going to have: Two tiny bedrooms, two new step-parents and possibly, a few more new half-siblings. Compare with the scratchy reality of the current set-up.
(Eight):
Question how normal it is for any couple it is to have great sex after 22 months together.
(Nine):
Ask yourself if you are ready to face the risk of perhaps achieving no more than exchanging a familiar kind of unhappiness for a new and more complex variety of unhappiness. Wonder whether you really want to choose hope over experience. Then if you still have the impulse to leave, with the chances of subsequent regret lessened at least a touch, with a heavy heart and a cautious mind; leave.
I wish I could have watched this video/heard this insight during my marriage. Thank you for making this.
One of your best videos. Complicated serious subject handled deftly maturely and non-judgmentally. Great animation too.
NOTHING could have prepared me for my sadness the first time I saw the final scene, and the anguish and confusion of the child, as the father leaves. That was brutal. I often re watch TSOL vids, months latter. It was still heartbreaking😢
It would be really great if you could write the script in the description box because i always do replay the video at certain parts to hear that part again. Thanks
+Zaid Shtayyeh Listen to this guy, doing this will improve your SEO !
+Zaid Shtayyeh
make your own notes. Thats what I do.
+OxygenfadVEV0 agreed
+Mythily Mudunuru in america? please I would find another channel and divorce this one
sometimes the accent is hard to understand
The form of presentation is so enjoyable and calming. The ratio of voice volume and music volume is perfect. And as often the content might be not the absolutely best advice, but certainly a good one.
Random Commentator and your comment brings contentment in the respect that it puts down my feeling in words.
This man’s voice is honestly so empathetic. It’s not just the words, but it’s the sound of his voice which is so consoling. He has the ability to say the hardest things in a way that makes it feel okay. Quite special indeed.
His voice really sells these videos. The information presented is substantial but the voice presenting makes for a pleasant palpability.
i feel unfulfilled in my relationship.. my boyfriend is amazing & loves me oh so very much. but i’m a busy girl & i overthink & over stress everything in my life constantly. my relationship being one of the main ones.. sometimes i feel like just being in a relationship is what bothers me, not my boyfriend. i feel like it’s been holding me back, he gives me space & everything but i find that when ur in a relationship, you should always prioritize it. it’s so hard, i’m constantly thinking about leaving or not. & i honestly don’t know what to do anymore. there’s so many factors that come into why i want to leave & why i want to stay but i simply can’t choose. i feel as if i have my boyfriend hanging on a rope & i don’t want to make him feel that way anymore. i love him & sometimes i think we’d be better off as friends but i know we will find a way to come back to each other through this time and i don’t want to be seen as a hoe if i choose to speak to other guys too in the means of entertaining myself.. this is my midlife crisis lmao
if anyone is willing to help me.. i would really appreciate it :,)
I feel your pain as I am going through this right now. If you don't mind me asking, how is it going now?
Just broke up with my bf because I was thinking the same thing. We were so compatible and he treated me so well, but I was constantly feeling like I had to try too hard, like my feelings weren't as strong as his. And then I'd just feel guilty. When I broke up with him so many people told me why am I basing this just on my feelings or why am I not trying to make it work, a relationship requires commitment. But ultimately if I feel happier being alone than with someone, I think that's a sign that we weren't working.
@@MiRRorKagami same condition but i dnt think i am happy bcoz of some family issues, but the main thing is we both love each other but he cant give commitment, he just want a casual relationship
That's why i m confused should i stay in relationships or leave him plzzzzz help me out
@@truptijadhav6566 Honestly if you guys aren't on the same page now, you're probably taking a gamble to see if things will change. If you're already feeling unsure and he just wants something casual I'd think really hard about how much you love him and want to keep him in your life. If there's any chance that you will feel happier without him, I'd say it'd be healthier to break it off. Especially if you know he doesn't want to commit. Because if you do, then it's just wasting your time. Hope this helps!
@@MiRRorKagami thankyou so much for ur advice 😊