The School of Life
The School of Life
  • 967
  • 887 528 392
How to Tell If You're Afraid of Intimacy
Sometimes we may end up in a couple where we spend a lot of time complaining - to concerned friends and family - that the other person is evidently and committedly ‘afraid of intimacy.’ They don’t often talk of their emotions; they may find it hard to be physically cosy; they don’t cry so often.
Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: t.ly/7K1To
Learn, heal and grow. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: t.ly/35AUz
FURTHER READING
You can read more on this and other subjects in our articles, here: t.ly/Wj9FS
“Sometimes we may end up in a couple where we spend a lot of time complaining - to concerned friends and family - that the other person is evidently and committedly ‘afraid of intimacy.’ They don’t often talk of their emotions; they may find it hard to be physically cosy; they don’t cry so often.
Whereas we on the other hand - as all our acquaintances know - are the emotionally fluent ones. We long to be close to someone, we long to discuss our feelings openly and without restraint, we are healthy and ready for love. It’s simply such a pity - and so profoundly unfortunate - that we have ended up with such an unyielding and resistant partner…”
MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist:
bit.ly/TSOLrelationships
SOCIAL MEDIA
Feel free to follow us at the links below:
Facebook: theschooloflifelondon/
Twitter: TheSchoolOfLife
Instagram: theschooloflifelondon
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life-for-business/
CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Dave Anderson
daveandersonart.com/
Title animation produced in collaboration with
Graeme Probert
www.gpmotion.co.uk
zhlédnutí: 93 979

Video

The One Question You Need to Understand Who You Are
zhlédnutí 170KPřed dnem
There is one question that, perhaps more than any other, gets to the root of who we are and what motivates us: “What did I need to do in childhood to win the support and approval of my parents?” We might - to sharpen the picture - need to lean on a few subsidiary enquiries… Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles,...
When Love Isn't Easy
zhlédnutí 88KPřed 14 dny
Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: t.ly/exaeV Learn, heal and grow. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: t.ly/8R7jq FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects in our articles, here: t.ly/1SI_x ...
Is Everyone Else Normal? Feeling Painfully Different
zhlédnutí 142KPřed 21 dnem
Much is said about the virtues and pleasures of individuality but let's also admit to how frankly lonely and frightening it can be to find ourselves (yet again) in a peculiar minority, where the differences between us and others strike us as bewildering rather than emboldening, how do we alleviate these isolating thoughts? Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, vi...
How Repressed Emotions Make Us Sick
zhlédnutí 987KPřed měsícem
The most curious and hazardous feature of the way we’re built lies in the difficulty we have registering what we actually feel. Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: bit.ly/3UcYvQn Learn, heal and grow; get the best of The School of Life delivere...
Why We Think We Are Losers (But Actually Aren't)
zhlédnutí 179KPřed měsícem
Many of us are haunted by a harsh inner critic: one who is particularly fond of telling us that we are a loser. Here’s why such a critic exists - and how we can silence them. Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: 9qq0.short.gy/aQ2Y3L Learn, heal ...
Why We Should Refuse to Get Into Arguments
zhlédnutí 196KPřed měsícem
We should resist invitations to argue by recognising them for what they are: attempts by the other party to rescue themselves from unbearable feelings. Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: 9qq0.short.gy/SJtYvX Learn, heal and grow; get the best ...
The Lengths We Go To Avoid Love
zhlédnutí 210KPřed měsícem
The idea of trying to avoid love sounds paradoxical in the extreme: why do we take active measures to sabotage love? Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: 9qq0.short.gy/DxKw9z Learn, heal and grow; get the best of The School of Life delivered str...
Why Nice People Repel Us
zhlédnutí 205KPřed 2 měsíci
Why might kindness be so hard to bear? Why should warmth prove - on occasion - comprehensively repulsive? Why might nausea descend in the face of emotional maturity? Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: 9qq0.short.gy/zqGz6G Learn, heal and grow:...
Why We Behave As We Do
zhlédnutí 101KPřed 2 měsíci
A key principle governing the natural world is that animals adapt to thrive in particular habitats; what we call an animal’s character is essentially a set of traits that gives it maximal opportunity to flourish in specific circumstances. We humans are - in the end, beneath a layer of civilisation - not so different. Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, ...
Why Unloved People Hate Themselves
zhlédnutí 203KPřed 2 měsíci
What happens to a child who is not loved properly? The answer one might expect is that they start to hate the person who doesn’t give them the love they need. Far from it. The reality is that the child becomes filled with shame. But what is shame? And how does it impact your adult life? Enjoying our CZcams videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provok...
The Conditions of Love
zhlédnutí 124KPřed 2 měsíci
The Conditions of Love
5 Questions to Ask Yourself Every Evening
zhlédnutí 406KPřed 2 měsíci
5 Questions to Ask Yourself Every Evening
The True Cause of Obsessive Thinking
zhlédnutí 326KPřed 3 měsíci
The True Cause of Obsessive Thinking
How to Become a More Interesting Person
zhlédnutí 349KPřed 3 měsíci
How to Become a More Interesting Person
2 Unexpected Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself
zhlédnutí 369KPřed 3 měsíci
2 Unexpected Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself
6 Historical Hangovers Making Us Miserable Today
zhlédnutí 181KPřed 3 měsíci
6 Historical Hangovers Making Us Miserable Today
Our Secret Wish Never to Find Love
zhlédnutí 147KPřed 4 měsíci
Our Secret Wish Never to Find Love
What Is It to Be Emotionally Mature: Part Two
zhlédnutí 110KPřed 4 měsíci
What Is It to Be Emotionally Mature: Part Two
What Is It to Be Emotionally Mature: Part One
zhlédnutí 238KPřed 4 měsíci
What Is It to Be Emotionally Mature: Part One
When Love Isn't Easy
zhlédnutí 160KPřed 4 měsíci
When Love Isn't Easy
Remember That EVERYONE Is Lonely
zhlédnutí 143KPřed 5 měsíci
Remember That EVERYONE Is Lonely
Are you a Sadist or a Masochist - and Why?
zhlédnutí 120KPřed 5 měsíci
Are you a Sadist or a Masochist - and Why?
How To Cope with an Imperfect Partner
zhlédnutí 129KPřed 5 měsíci
How To Cope with an Imperfect Partner
A Guide to Self Transformation
zhlédnutí 237KPřed 5 měsíci
A Guide to Self Transformation
How Relationships Reveal Our True Selves
zhlédnutí 555KPřed 5 měsíci
How Relationships Reveal Our True Selves
How to Know If You Have Real Friends (And What to Do If You Don't)
zhlédnutí 205KPřed 6 měsíci
How to Know If You Have Real Friends (And What to Do If You Don't)
How to Prepare for the Worst
zhlédnutí 90KPřed 6 měsíci
How to Prepare for the Worst
How to Be Strong and Resilient
zhlédnutí 203KPřed 6 měsíci
How to Be Strong and Resilient
Why People get into Unhealthy Relationships
zhlédnutí 148KPřed 6 měsíci
Why People get into Unhealthy Relationships

Komentáře

  • @Jamrodleon
    @Jamrodleon Před 42 minutami

    Thales, Hippocrates, Pythagoras, Socrates, Plato and others traveled to Kemet (Egypt) to study philosophy. NONE OF THEM are fathers of PHILOSOPHY.

  • @jrgenbentzen9181
    @jrgenbentzen9181 Před 50 minutami

    But the desire to be in the right is itself a product of being brought up by people whom themselves want themselves to be in the right Thats a contradiction. This doesnt make any sense. Why even partake in these stupid social games if everyone thinks everyone is self righteous

  • @nemanjat1096
    @nemanjat1096 Před 50 minutami

    When your parents don't like rock music...

  • @alvaroruizruiz7538
    @alvaroruizruiz7538 Před hodinou

    F*** it, I'm going to say it. We can't comfort and be there for that person over and over again without seeing any progress or fixing. If you don't do enough about your problems, and of course, in a logic way, it's your f***** problem. We can apologise when we neglect the other person at the beginning, but we can't waste our energy on something/somebody that is pointless. Move on and find what you deserve, it's fine.

  • @candaistopor1114
    @candaistopor1114 Před hodinou

    Umm i agree with children have the ability to express or go through the "weird" fazes but throwing tantrums or acting out in ways that are mean, violent or inappropriate shouldnt be tolerated. Parents need to guide their children in what is an appropriate way to express feels. My kids had a fit i would ask why they are doing what they are doing and if they just want to scream then they can do so in their room until they want to talk to me about what was happening. After i get their side of things i will then work on what would have been more appropriate way to address the issue that wouldnt result them being put on time out for the fit.

  • @Onmybedroomfloor
    @Onmybedroomfloor Před hodinou

    I feel so seen

  • @moondriedtomato
    @moondriedtomato Před hodinou

    Thank you, I can be.

  • @Music4EverKanekavi
    @Music4EverKanekavi Před 2 hodinami

    it helped me take control of situations when i believed i was intricately involved in them, since there was no family without them having kids: i took personal blame to gain control and rational from my paretns shitty divorced life. they hated each other enough to still love each other, worst fucking shit.

  • @xdxdxdxd4575
    @xdxdxdxd4575 Před 2 hodinami

    I can have it every day, my man says, he wants just once in a month or less... I feel unwanted, hurt, neglect, and it is not just physical, but my soul hurts too. I feel like a bad person, when I say thevproblems loud, and he says like "nothing is enough for you, you just wanna fu©k all the time". This makes me feel like I have to be shamed for wanting sex.

  • @abdulraheemusman5903
    @abdulraheemusman5903 Před 2 hodinami

    The voice is not clear

  • @AmanSingh-bd5fn
    @AmanSingh-bd5fn Před 2 hodinami

    Actually there is no ones fault in this Kafka's father Was raised by his grandfather that he became such narrastic Man and this cycle continues in past decision after decision man after man, so here comes a part of ethics now only thing kafka would have done fully accept the situation and married someone and raised his son well or second left his house completely without any emotional connection without financial help and lived his life as he wish, satisfied his Sexual desire in brothels.... It's borderline or I like to call it not fully going in one direction , wanting some pieces of right some pieces of left

  • @boolowoertheenappydreaded5359

    wow, rare school of life W. well done.

  • @AtariEric
    @AtariEric Před 3 hodinami

    There is literally nothing I can do to gain other people's support or approval. People have made my alienation part of their identities; trying to change their minds is interpreted as attempts at murder.

  • @hinaruedogawa
    @hinaruedogawa Před 3 hodinami

    Aku selalu mengalah untuk tidak mencari kebahagiaan sejak aku kecil dan bersikap sok dewasa... Dan sekarang di usiaku ke 21, aku adalah anak kecil yg bodoh dan baik.. Masa kecilku terlalu buruk dan memalukan untuk kuceritakan..🤣

  • @cocoyeehaw731
    @cocoyeehaw731 Před 3 hodinami

    Literature helps to improve your language skills.

  • @MrGoMario
    @MrGoMario Před 3 hodinami

    The so-called #NewSouthAfrica comes to mind 😢...

  • @jeffperlis9938
    @jeffperlis9938 Před 3 hodinami

    How do I contribute to your content?

  • @edgarhigareda2022
    @edgarhigareda2022 Před 4 hodinami

    Exactly what happen in 2020. And what they are doing right now. They been doing this for the past twenty years

  • @MsYolost
    @MsYolost Před 4 hodinami

    I highly recommend looking into somatic release work for healing this (some sources and methods: guided inner child mediations, yoga, EMDR, EFT Tapping, Dr. Garbor Maté's work (on CZcams or books), the body keeps the score from Bessel van der Kolk, and D. R. Hawkins"power vs force" and "letting go" if you are spiritual)

  • @silenzio27bruno
    @silenzio27bruno Před 4 hodinami

    I'm repressing them,Idk what awaits for me..

  • @Anotherhumanexisting
    @Anotherhumanexisting Před 4 hodinami

    No one else to turn to… yeah that checks out… Just going to not repeat the cycle of misery and never reproduce. This world is full of too much bullshit suffering even in the best of cases.

  • @setyasan1386
    @setyasan1386 Před 5 hodinami

    And nobody belive me that I suffered because of it. I guess I spawn in incorrect world after all. Well I guess better not to kill oneself, that's the minimal req to be a human yes?

  • @zeljkotomic4517
    @zeljkotomic4517 Před 5 hodinami

    Dont go back, that will bring only bad memoris and no solution for problems you had at very young age. Give youself enough time to forget bad and sad things. Dont live in the past. Past should be forgoten, furure we dont know, present is only time you have.

  • @heathpenman7022
    @heathpenman7022 Před 5 hodinami

    first time I've ever heard migraines pronounced "me-grains"

  • @Srindal4657
    @Srindal4657 Před 5 hodinami

    If one can cultivate ones own garden, then can one cultivate ones own free will?

  • @thebestplayerdead956
    @thebestplayerdead956 Před 5 hodinami

    As a kid I remember my mom saying. “You’re not going to be anything.” The second time, she told my aunt that I wasn’t going to “amount to anything” in front of me. The third time I told my mom I had goals to be “a millionaire by 30” she laughed and said “You can’t even do shit” . That’s when I realised this lady doesn’t believe in me. I had nothing to lean on for emotional growth . Today I’m 25 and been living in my car for a week. I’ve reached a breaking point. Fuck being depressed in my room and my family watching me suffer. Acting like it’s alright. Nothing but women I love with and it’s terrible

  • @Philipp-yp3jb
    @Philipp-yp3jb Před 5 hodinami

    Like Arno Schmidt said: und sowas darf waehlen

  • @Kiran-eq5yp
    @Kiran-eq5yp Před 6 hodinami

    Men are in dire need to feel loved nd appreciated..else it’s hard to live like this

  • @user-sf4rg2li4o
    @user-sf4rg2li4o Před 7 hodinami

    Over it

  • @Liberty-hw9dh
    @Liberty-hw9dh Před 7 hodinami

    value exchanges......love is the business theme

  • @minusmanny2148
    @minusmanny2148 Před 7 hodinami

    bet he had a massive toger ❤❤🎉🎉🎉

  • @BaNoodles999
    @BaNoodles999 Před 7 hodinami

    I never had a dad and my mom was never really there for me and now that I’m older it’s gotten worse. But I have no feeling for it I know I should but how could I when someone who has never cared for me?

  • @simonladevig5987
    @simonladevig5987 Před 7 hodinami

    "its me. im the gay fucker" - hegel

  • @piersmckechnie1379
    @piersmckechnie1379 Před 7 hodinami

    If the medical community attempted to promote this, it would a good chunk of its profit

  • @piersmckechnie1379
    @piersmckechnie1379 Před 7 hodinami

    This is a wonderful video. I don’t believe our emotions are actively trying to be heard in an attempt to “help us”. Rather it is just simply the nature of how they work. The body doesn’t lie. The brain is just trying to survive, hiding emotions the best it knows how,trying to go help us out not hinder us. Autonomic dysfunction.

  • @hayahsulymenabbaas2984
    @hayahsulymenabbaas2984 Před 8 hodinami

    Madame Bovary's example is completely false here as she was a pure case of selfishness!

  • @strwberryblossom19
    @strwberryblossom19 Před 9 hodinami

    For me it's socializing or attitude

  • @davidkoh7097
    @davidkoh7097 Před 10 hodinami

    Thank you for this reminder and encouragement.

  • @scrapadoo11
    @scrapadoo11 Před 10 hodinami

    Yeesssss!! It is so gratifying to have this message presented! I continue to research attachment styles and it’s frustrating and boring to continually see comments (and even videos) demonizing the unavailability and/or inconsistent availability in relationships with people who have predominantly avoidant or disorganized attachment styles. I am yet to see any of the people who feel victimized by emotionally unavailable people take accountability for their own choices to remain in these relationships, ones where the needs and desires they are conscious of aren’t met. Thank you very much for addressing such an important issue!

  • @AmyAmy-er8bp
    @AmyAmy-er8bp Před 10 hodinami

    Asum es Mard es...Tents with one push, minimum sax tarakannerin deletenuli s zemli... Choratsan tapetsin...

  • @AmyAmy-er8bp
    @AmyAmy-er8bp Před 10 hodinami

    Tents es kez Button, es el kez how much energy there is in one button... Which you won't know... Es kez Brain theory, es el Nuclear only Binds to your brain...

  • @AmyAmy-er8bp
    @AmyAmy-er8bp Před 10 hodinami

    Mezanits mek@ vor achqer@ batsets incha linelu??? Ed cher???? Es kez Trashcane, go collect trash...

  • @AmyAmy-er8bp
    @AmyAmy-er8bp Před 10 hodinami

    Mer Anushig m@. Mer Tsnndakan data and so on...

  • @AmyAmy-er8bp
    @AmyAmy-er8bp Před 10 hodinami

    Then a snowball while it was falling? haha. Achqd chanaparhin mnats.... Hayvan en berel dser hamar... Skolko lyudey sabralos...

  • @AmyAmy-er8bp
    @AmyAmy-er8bp Před 10 hodinami

    To get from Point A to Point B you need Dot theory. There is a dot AB . Guess what's in it. So we measure Energy... Es kez Distance es kez work and so on...

  • @erik4177
    @erik4177 Před 10 hodinami

    Had to wait 4.5 months for the result of a gene test regarding a very serious genetic heart disease, that would disallow me from ever doing any kind of sport again and has a high risk of sudden cardiac death (I’m 23). 50% chance of having it. Result came back 3 weeks ago (negative thank god). In that time I‘be developed all kinds of weird symptoms. Eye pressure, knee pain, list goes on. A day after getting the result I became very sick (fever, swollen throat..) but slowly getting back to normal now, even the weird things I developed over the 4.5 months. Feels good type this out, don’t really have anyone to talk to regarding this topic