How to Be Strong and Resilient
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- čas přidán 6. 06. 2024
- Much of the reason why we give up far too soon, fall into despair and abandon our projects is not because things are hard per se but because they are harder - far harder - than we had ever expected them to be. It isn’t necessarily difficulty that sinks us; it’s bad notions about what a noble task should legitimately demand.
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“Much of the reason why we give up, fall into despair and abandon our projects is not because things are hard per se, but because they are harder - far harder - than we had ever expected them to be. It isn’t necessarily difficulty that sinks us; it’s misconceived notions of what a task should legitimately demand. We operate with recklessly inadequate views of what it might take to have a moderately good relationship, to run a more or less viable business, to have a circle of friends, to be healthy, to build a home or to achieve balance of mind. We lose our tempers, we bang whatever machine we are fiddling with, we let out screams at broken household items, mislaid keys and incompetent colleagues, because we perceive an injustice where there is in fact only an encounter with what are entirely reasonable and, were we to have investigated further, predictable degrees of pain.”
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Im homeless and alone but working hard as a waiter for years to exit debt I have and one day maybe have enough money for a rent and a family. 💔
I admire you 🫂
It took me a long time to get out of homeless. You will just dont give up.❤
I wish you luck. Remember, Abraham Lincoln was raised in a log cabin with a dirt floor, and he eventually became one of the best Presidents.
Wow.. I thank you all for your support, it means a world to me. I don't talk about this with anyone,so it truly feels nice having read all these. ♥️
You're so courageous, keep going. Perhaps oneday you'll look back on these days and smile a bit how you made it.
When I was in college, I applied for a summer internship that I wanted more than anything. I didn't get it and was utterly crushed. I remember talking to one of my professors and he said something along the lines of "in the future, this rejection will benefit you more than the internship". I was confused by this, but then he went on, saying that resilience is a life skill that we all need to learn. Getting rejected and bouncing back will be much more fruitful for me than getting in in the first place. It's been 5 years and I still think about that conversation
thank you for sharing this.
That's amazing, thanks for sharing. Really made me think and smile.
There are good professors out there. Sounds like you met one of ‘em
For anyone a little confused, the point of the video is learn about the inevitable dark things in life. Look at the divorce rates, imagine the bad days at your job, and think about how people will often mask their struggles online. When you understand that the dark parts exist, just by knowing they exist you become more prepared. You'll have more tools ready when things get hard. Keep working on yourself and be kind to your mind 🙏🏼
I love being kind to my mind, something I was never thought, but trying to practice that EVERYDAY. Appreciating my challenges shortfalls, being thankful and practicing gratitude EVERYDAY.
For me this makes me less resilient
thank you for explaining. sometimes this channel explains everything in a very advanced level of english in a poetic way i do not get what is it about
But everything is dark.
Figuring out that everyones confidence was largely a lie both made it easier for me to be confident and also dropped me off at a spot where mine largely wasnt because I had spent that whole time trying to actually achieve those competencies while others just lied about having them.
As someone who had a very cushioned life, I need more of this. I give up and think of injustices way too frequently, and I think it was because I was so lucky i didnt encounter hardships until my late 20s.
Avoiding hardship is not difficult in western societies, where well planned programs have been in place for generations. Citizens who put in the effort reap the available benefits. Pretty straightforward.
I feel the same way sometimes. Also had my first ‘REAL’ setbacks until my late 20s. I guess that is what makes us less ‘used’ to them, and thus we see them more as abnormalities and therefore thinking more about them.. we should always be conscious (even though this is difficult) that nearly everyone we come across is struggling, most likely even more than we are.
Same here. I needed to hear this.
@@m2pozad benefits of a sick society built on slave labor.
@@trapper7954 I feel doubtful that anyone has had a truly healthy childhood.
Sending love and hugs to everyone going through something they do or do not talk about ❤
sending love and hugs back to you amelie :)
thank you ❤
🙏
I had lived a relatively soft life until at 47 years old, when I found myself separated and sleeping in my truck in the winter in NY. I would wake up frozen at 3am, get out of the truck, do some jumping jacks to warm up and then try to re sleep myself. Some nights, in the temperature was 20F. I questioned every night if I was going to wake up in the morning. I woke up with frozen tears on my face nearly every morning.
No job, no money, no friends, recovering from shoulder surgery again.
No drugs or alcohol or any other dumb shxt, just not pushing myself as I should have. I took the path of least resistance.
This experience is my armor. Cancer, war, death, whatever, bring it on, nothing can break me. I'm too fuxkin stubborn.
I completely expect to live thru a nuclear apocalypse.
Maybe surprisingly, this is my favorite memory in life.
I became fully responsible for my existence, in my truck.
At least you had a truck.
Wow 😮
@@margo3367 Absolutely! 💯
I had a roof over my head and that is alot. 👍
@@bernardzsikla5640 My son was homeless, but he had a drug problem and he refused to stay with me and get it together. He told me of similar nights he woke up freezing, trying to find unlocked cars for some shelter. So I know what you went through; I was not being sarcastic. ✌️
How did you overcome it? It sounds like a lot that you had to go through
The problem is yes, suffering is inevitable in everyone’s life. But the DEGREE of suffering isn’t. All people suffer, not all people suffer equally.
Thank you 🙌
And neither can they. Even in a perfectly equal society (from a financial perspective) some people will be sicker than others. Some people will have more mental health issues. Some people will be born to abusive or neglectful parents. You can only prepare yourself to play the best possible game with the hand that you were dealt. Worrying too much about other people's hands won't do you much good.
@@zetaforever4953 I believe the op was just acknowledging exactly what you’re talking about. I do not think acknowledging that is the same as “worrying too much”.
@@friendlyworm420 i agree :)
That is unfair isn't? 😔
I agree we are bombarded with unrealistic expectations but it's not only this.
Some of us experienced too much adversity, hostility and pain at a time when we needed safety. Life was always not only hard but impossible when you have "parents" who put you down to feel less crappy about themselves.
Also there are people who not only had safety and stability during formative years but even now keep having support and opportunities not based on their efforts.
Some of us have been strong and resilient but nobody can be that all their lives. Nobody should be surviving all their lives and it reflects on us as a society that so many do
I think part of getting older and maturing is understanding that everyone's life is different and you cant compare yourself to others. If you didnt get support growing up and you are doing worse than some who did get support growing up, then thats normal and nothing to be ashamed about. Yes, there are people who didn't have support and were still successful but most of them are lying and the ones telling the truth are rare outliers that don't speak for the majority.
This is very true. I've noticed many ppl who either have confidence or are willing to take the chances it takes to succeed have a very strong support system. And those ppl who didn't get their "safety needs" met in childhood end up searching for safety in adulthood.
yup
This. ❤
i admire you for your wisdom and how well spoken you are. This comment is important. Thanks for taking the time to write it
This resonates deeply with the hard work of writing a book. You have ideas, you might outline them or you might write straight through. There are all kinds of systems, hacks, structures, guidelines, formulas. But at the end of the day, nothing prepares you for the simple truth: what you write will suck, and you will get feedback, and it will hurt, and then you will have to grow and you will have to rewrite. Not tweak, not revise, not futz with a line or two. Rewrite entirely. Face the blank page again, but this time with a degree of wisdom, the wisdom of experience, the wisdom of trial and error, the wisdom of listening. Now write again. Go deeper. Be braver. Coming to that realization can be a shattering moment. But when you get over that shock, what you create will be far greater than a first draft could ever be.
Working on a book right now. I needed to hear this ❤ thank you
We are all facing the blank page of life again and again. 🙏
Not working on a book, but this is still relevant. Thanks.
Sometimes I wonder why things aren't as hard as they should be, but I enjoy the peace I have, cause I know things will get hard again.
???
@@EmbraceTheStruggle24???
I am actually very very blessed.
-I have a very stable job
-I have a car which is almost paid off
-I have a roof over my head
-I have savings
-I have a wonderful partner
-I am relatively healthy at the moment
But, most days, I wake up having a dreadful feeling, like a depressive kind of feeling.
This video reminds me that I should be more grateful of my life, and take life's hardship as a challenge.
And you are not alone! Not all depression is based on life circumstances. Be kind and gentle with yourself, if you can. ❤
My favorite thing about life is that one day it will end. And I can't wait for that!
I am sorry you feel this way. That must feel like an enormous burden. Feel free to unload your anxieties here, and hopefully you will feel lighter as a result. Every day, I am astounded by the beauty of nature - cloud formations, sunsets, animals, plants, trees, and I think that anything we try to achieve can't ever match that.
@@merywolke9100 Thank you! but I don't have nothing to unload besides that. I'm just waiting for the unavoidable end.
@@fillipe4700everything is temporary, even suffering
Please make longer films. This film was way too short to capture the message.
This is not what a pessimist or someone who is depressed needs to hear. "You think you've got it bad now? Heh, heh, you just wait." For them it's an invitation to just give up.
This truthful video has kept me going thru a very rough time, because I realize now that this time is just a predictable part of life! It's HOW we respond that really matters and challenges = growth opportunities. Keep 'em coming!
I learn much more valuable lessons from the University of Life than from any schooling I ever had.
A piece of paper like your certificate or your degree never prepare you ready for any life challenges.
True knowledge comes from life experiences, introspection and reflection. Never ever give up learning. It's a lifetime project.
"Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear." - Marcus Aurelius
Simple yet effective quote resonates with me deeply. I used to feel scared or anxious about many things in my life, but now I have come to the realization that I can bear anything, God willing. I don't drown myself in sorrows anymore, thinking, "Why is it happening to me?" If I'm still breathing, I can still fight it.
That's the bible.
Ah yes, If the starving children in Africa would just realize this
Fight what for what?
I know that saying(or similar). Some people thought do give up and feel overwhelmed. I don’t know if that is something they did not realize they could bear and stopped or they were truly not able to. I think all those phrases are there to make people feel better, don’t have to be all true necessarily. Some people are fragile or they did what seemed to be the solution.
i disagree . i am under hardcore traumas and have been through so much abuse , multiple different mental health issues and many other issues a lot of pain , suffering
This is so true. I know so many friends who expect good things to come easy.
This such a refreshing perspective - thanks! Suffering is part of the journey; and not a strike to knock you completely out of the game. 🙏❤
Now that is a class we all need, and the younger the better; the reality is, as you suggest, is that life is full of hardship and obstacles. It just IS, and the better we get at accepting, embracing, and navigating this, the better we can generally live.
I feel like this channel exists to answer my questions. Thanks TSOL
Thanks. You really put it into words for me, and expanded on it. I'm really grateful.
You can't throw that much s*** all at once on young minds or they'll be afraid of the life ahead. Realistic advice is important, but more important are encouragement, self-understanding, healthy motivation.
👏🏼
Now im ill and sick, suffered from disease, but i still feel everything, feel my best as i can.,neither pain and joy..and i'm still working as a barista and do small business at home making delivery coffee. I'm gonna do my best until the end.. i just wish i can be myself or find my real self and at peace
Needed this rn
Thank you for this!
Thanks ,much needed for me at this exact point of time as I am typing this.
Always so on point.
WOW! Perfect timing for the video.
So true. Absolutely true. Thank you.
These stories we tell... Successful people tend to come from successful families. Less stress and more connection to people will lead to greater success and more creativity. The idea that all who live must suffer is just a story we tell ourselves today because we made a world of suffering. Instead, we could look at actually changing the world and giving us back what we had when we were talking about each other instead of how life sucks.
Most popular content is finding new ways to defend the status quo.
However, the video is right in the sense that skills/achievements worthwhile are usually difficult, especially if not learned as a child.
How can you change the world when you're fighting to survive everyday? I want to see change more than anyone else I know. But I'm also a lot more unhappy than anyone else I know. And that's why!!! Everyone else is complacent with how things are and use stuff like sex and romance andsubstances andvideo games and what not to cope. But I don't cope the same as everyone else and I see all the faults in everything.
Also most aspects of this world are very corrupt and backwards. Pretty much all jobs are useless or corrupt in the ideal society. This is a backwards realm.
Also if successful people tend to be born of successful families, (i agree) what are people born of unsuccessful families supposed to do???
@@SuperiorRobyn the correct answer is live vicariously through their children because they can only make sure their kids have a chance to succeed.
This channel have saved my life so many times ❤️🙌
Needed this, thanks ❤
Keep’em coming.
Wow! Life, summed up insightfully.
Thank you
Thank you for this video
Thanks!
Needed this particular message! Thank you
How so
@@EmbraceTheStruggle24 [Warning: I can be long-winded.] Growing up, I thought that being a perfectionist and a high achiever would make me worthy, important, and significant. This was, obviously, a bad idea! My adulthood so far is, of course, riddled with mistakes and failures, and in striving for perfectionism and achievement, I cultivated another bad idea: I must be wrong, unworthy and so stupid for failing so spectacularly! (Especially, in the areas of relationships and career.)
Being well-versed in self-loathing and bad ideas, I then assumed that I simply wasn't capable of doing what was required to be worthy and loveable. And, bumping up against anything (and I mean anything!) difficult would have me resorting to feelings of inadequacy.
The biggest lesson I've been learning over the past couple of years is that what I am capable of and what I want for myself are more than enough. The video was a nice reminder that, firstly, I'm not the only one feeling this way and, secondly, any difficulty I bump up against has nothing to do with my worthiness. And, I should adjust my expectations of myself and others accordingly.
In other words, I don't have to be perfect to deserve love and good pay. This very good idea makes me feel stronger and more resilient. Thanks for asking! ☺
I needed this so bad ❤
Suffering is part of life. However many people suffer more than others. Learning inner peace, patience and gratitude is a healthier way to cope with things. ☺💚
Excellent video!
What a great school of life that’d be. ❤
Great content as always.
I really gotta watch these more often
Remember balance knowledge with action
This man has no idea how much his words have meant to me.
Great video!!
A very Stoic outlook to life. I see that School of Life still sticks to its video a couple years back on the Stoics.
I don't know, sometimes it's better not to know, or you'd never start.
I seem to be quite slow to learn this. I knew about my provileges for a long, long time, but I'm just now, 40 years later, learning about the many extreme, uncommon sufferings I believed were just normal stuff.
Somehow I screwed up both ways: I'm not resilient when confronting the hard stuff from normal life, but I'm also not assertive when identifying the bad stuff that surpases normal.
At least you have the acknowledgment now, and that is always a necessary first of sorts. ❤
I would go so far as to say the message in this video is stoic, as much as it is also Buddhist. That accepting pain to some degree is part of a healthy life well lived in the pursuit of virtue.
Interesting thank you
My sentiments too.!
Thank you for promoting antinatalism so eloquently :)
This isn't antinatalism? Don't get me wrong, there is certainly a case to be made for that philosophy, but I don't believe this video is trying to.
If anything, it's stoicism.
@@Joshualacruzbasically this video said, suffer or suffer. Kinda cruel to bring children into a world of suffering. That is the point this person is making.
@@SuperiorRobyn I mean, yes of course, again, there is a case to be made for antinatalism. But there is no mention in the video of it being cruel to create offspring.
Instead it's encouraging to empower said offspring, by making them more stoic. Am I incorrect?
Could you do some resources on parenting? Or on teaching some of these skills to children or young people. I’d love some language to discuss these things with my kid. Thanks a mill, I really love the videos.
Not sure i wholly agree with this one ... as a natural pessimist, my issue is always overthinking the negatives which then paralyses me into inaction. In the rare times I've optimistically jumped in without thinking, things have worked out amazingly. E.g. travelling alone through USA, moving to Australia. My gut said it's going to be way too hard, don't try. But both times ended up being way more rewarding than I could have imagined. Perhaps these mindsets come from early life experiences? I never assumed things would work out, because things had always been so hard growing up. But sadly this led to an anxious and pessimistic outlook.
Beautiful
thanks! thanks! thanks! thanks! thanks! thanks! thanks!
Is good what the video mentioned, but also is important to mention to the Youngs, that sometimes, it doen't matter how hard you work, try, want, or if you have bad or good experiencies... some of your golas will NEVER be achieved... and that's good, because conquer Real life implies to know your limits and reach
Exactly! Working hard sometimes will not give you the results you wanted. And that’s not an excuse to say don’t try, but that life within its nature is unpredictable and unfair.
suffering is not only a means to growth, suffering is. when we accept that suffering is, we get even closer to alleviating it. we tend to discriminate against our suffering and seek to escape it rather than tend to it. we may not even truly notice our fear, anxiety, pain, etc. in our bodies, because we do not slow down. Suffering is something we must care for, and suffering is an essential part of life. As the venerable Thich Nhat Han would say, "no mud, not lotus." We must compost our suffering. Turn our waste into joy. Loving-kindness, meditation, support, community, and discipline help cultivate happiness, (along with taking care of our basic needs: food, water, sleep, movement) and although true liberation would recognize all suffering occurs at the mind, those suffering injustice (lack of access of basic needs, abuse, violence, etc). may find peace and growth as individuals on their journey, but also need others to recognize that this suffering can be alleviated through collective action. This kind of suffering should not be, and stems from ignorance, greed, hatred, and fear of others.
I totally agree with this video. While I fervently believe in the power of positive thinking, I also believe in realism and honesty. A school or college course along these lines might have helped me greatly. Instead, I have had to take A LOT of extra credit in the school of hard knocks. Anything that could have shortened these extremely expensive „courses“ would have been welcome!!
This is so encouraging. Thank you.
How so
@@EmbraceTheStruggle24 Gives a person hope that is maybe going through hard times to stay strong. Stay positive.
@@lpotts75 yea - in a way I have to agree. You're right. I appreciate your perspective - but when people irl don't give me the respect I'm worthy of and break promises - it most certainly affects my level of trust and overall sentimentality towards life. The more I expect out of certain people, the more disappointed I am. Shame on me if I'm not balancing out certain standards enough - but that's just how I feel - especially in such a dystopia society where there is so much misinformation and rich thinking they can get away with whatever they want when they want while the poor are stereotyped as always being miserable when in fact, that isn't always the case - as they're some of the nicest people I've met (considering I have worked retail) and feel for the average class citizen as opposed to the 'wanna be' spoiled people (age doesn't really matter imo), but I think I get that 'old school mentality' from most of my folks. At the same time, I do value newer and innovative ways of thinking and doing things - but sometimes it's arbitrary and just our perception more than anything else.
I feel the opposite. So I have to suffer more than I am? Nah ill opt out of life if that's the case
@@SuperiorRobyn You need to find some good in your life. Or something that will give you motivation and drive.
Very cool 👍
Never give up ❤️
Hope for the best and expect the worst.
School of life for president 🎉🎉
😊
It is not the difficulty that dissuades me, but at the end of completion, what is the point? After all the struggle and effort, another task or objective will simply replace it. A never ending cycle of self-prescribed jobs, to complete to what end?
As Blackadder said: Make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease.
😩😩😩
Maybe in anorther type of world there is more meaning behind what we do. This is a poop realm so....
i kinda feel the same way, its not that i dont believe the task to be easier then it is in real life, its more like i already imagine/know how hard its gonna be and you think, why should i kill myself over something i know i wont end up enjoying anyways, i already do so much!
I’ve suffered so much in my life, I look at infants, young children and feel sorry that there is so much life in front of them to go though. I know, this is a terrible attitude. I just couldn’t have imagined any of this. When I see photos of myself as a young child, I think, “wow, if only you knew…you have no idea what you’re in for”. If anyone treated my granddaughter the way I’ve been treated, well it won’t be good.
And that speaks volumes of your character and who are as an individual. You have acknowledged your past pains and instead of becoming vindictive, and jaded you have instead become more self-aware. You should be proud! ❤
@@goldenwolf90 thank you!🙏🏻
Best video by far from you (at lest to me). So well timed and crisp in the message. God bless this channel!!
While i get what you mean and agree with increasing the degree of Truth! It's still a far off shot from reality as the element of self-defeating is still talking and taking up most of your strategy in life. After all it's better to hurt yourself Rather than getting punished by others. But that's weakness. You give up before everyone else. That's what makes you a great teacher
I'm a cancer survivor and nobody knows the value of time more than me.
Where, do you get this information from.
Very hard to deal with it when the world is a mess, not only about the wars people are facing right know but also about climate change and loosing of habitats...the destruction of nature.
I am from Panama and know we are fighting against a Mining conssesion, big protests but the media is not showing the truth, we are calling to international organizations to put eyes in our tiny land...we stand for our forests, our rivers and wildlife.
The nature of Greetings and Checking up...
In the world where anyone thinks they can reach anything equally and not consider each individual difficulties is more likely as hell for me.
I think some people don't get this message. This is to build resilient people. Because o boy, sometimes life will beat you up. The world is injust, many class and race inequalities, but if we prepare our children to be undefeatable, they will be revolutionary. What make people revolute under the worst times our world presented us was just enough resilience to build just a flame of hope. Hope is light in the irresolute darkness. Hope is fire in freezing cold night. Hope is even knowing that the world may kill your spirit, you still can change things. Politics and change only can be fought by the stubborn that refuse to die.
Very hard indeed
When you fail a few time and you get up and succeed that makes you more stronger for the next round! Just like a boxer! Be like that in life.. Youll need to take a few punches, otherwise you wont learn..😊
I like this healthy pesimistic theory, but it robbs me from joy and relaxation that everything will be Ok. If I am constantly aware of things that might go wrong I will always have to be careful and in fear to prevent it. And my only ever joy and satisfaction is when I'm relaxed and free in mind.
For some the "memento mori" motto encourages them to seize the day, before it inevitably ends, live life to the fullest etc.
For others the thought is just depressing and leads to inactivity... why even bother at all, when it all ends horribly anyway.
I don’t think the video is indicating assume the worst but rather touching on the unpredictability and unfairness of life. Just as easily as things could go wrong the same could be said that things go well, or even better. In essence it’s noting that success, and achieving isn’t linear, so come to expect hardships. ❤
Life and its strife. Good and bad and otherwise. Renews then you lose. Things you did and didn't know I remind.
I appreciate the sentiment but not sure that I agree - everything is a case of mind over matter imo and it is how hard you make something in your mind / believe it to / will be that makes it hard not necessarily life itself...:-*xxx
I should remind myself of this very often , because at the slightest inconvenience, I fall into a state of chaos.
I believe it was Thracians that used to mourn child’s coming into this world of suffer and to celebrate end of life as end of suffering . Something that hit me when I first learnt about it..
I often say, if some time in grade school someone had told me the TRUTHS about life;
That most people are unreliable,
Most so-called friends are there ONLY to get,
That relationship love is ONLY temporary,
That those you gave your whole life for (your kids) May put you away in a nursing-home and never visit until the Will is read..
Stay blessed, Everyone.
Robert-
“Hell, your future”? Seems a tad bit grim.
Lol TSL just keeping it real with us 😅.. yea life ain’t for the faint hearted..
Children shouldn’t be taught failure of an exam is the end. That creates adults convinced failure will be the end and won’t ever try something new.
I’m the oldest I’ve felt but do feel I have all the opportunities in the world, given enough time and persistence.
Can you make it shorter as 1 mins? For Shorts?
Some people have been tormented a lot before they get to 18 so we are already exhausted and tired.
And Warm Welcomes
Руставели и Граф - Бездна, знаешь фильм Кабельщик с Джимом Кэрри?
I have to be strong and resilient because I have no one else to take care of me. I am the only person trustworthy enough to take care of me and my responsibilities. No one is going to help me, no one is going to rescue me, no one is going to take care of me. I have no choice but to be strong and resilient. Isn't that how it is for everyone that's not a 1%-er?
❤
🌱🙏🏼💫
2:09 the captions here "they have learnt to be a lot better prepared, by which we mean, a lot sadder" goodness ...
Who was it that said something along the lines of "If people knew the kind of effort I've put in, my work wouldn't seem that great at all" ?
Ligmas keep moving forward regardless of su condees pressures for release
I an utter failure. I have BARELY enough savings in my account; I've worked TOO long at a dead end job; my side gigs failed and my first short story was rejected.
I hope to start a graphic design business on the side, but I'm afraid that'll be a bust and I'll be a good writer.
Yet, why do i fear for my future and yet have hope at the same time?
My anxiety is worsening and even though folks say you must stay positive, I can't help but be miserable cause whenever I think positive, things go wrong.
Well that's just it! You probably would not take on half the quests you do, if you actually knew what all is going to be involved. It would likely be too darn daunting.
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