Video není dostupné.
Omlouváme se.
The Stages a Narcissist Goes Through When You Leave Him
Vložit
- čas přidán 2. 08. 2024
- What happens when you leave a narcissist?
If you're a woman feeling trapped in a toxic relationship and looking for freedom, you've come to the right place. With over 3000+ clients, I've integrated everything I've learned into a comprehensive program designed to help you reclaim your freedom. My goal is to guide you to break free without confronting or trying to fix him. Together, let's rediscover YOU and cultivate your confidence and clarity. To take the next step in your healing journey with me, visit www.rawmotivations.com/breakt...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you're a man struggling with narcissistic traits and seeking the path, community, and transformation that I've experienced, I'm here to help - but only if you are serious about investing the time and energy. To begin this journey with me, schedule a session at www.rawmotivations.com/break-...
---
Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
Platforms I am on:
TikTok - / raw_motivations
Instagram - / rawmotivations
Facebook - profile.php?...
Podcast - anchor.fm/rawmotivations
CZcams - / rawmotivations
If not today, when are you going to start your healing journey? Click here to know about our resources www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
And soon as you go back. The abuse get worst! Don't go back!!!
History repeats, stay gone
That's the true. Never look back....
#ABSOLUTELY 🎉🎉🎉🎉
They revenge
Yep!
DON'T YOU NEVER, EVER, EVER GO BACK!!!!!! YOU GET OUT, YOU STAY OUT!!!!!!!
The audacity that THEY feel betrayed. What a f-ing joke.
😂
Yes. Absolutely what he does.
They always the victim
You betrayed the image of the false self. The real them deserved the penalty.
Right!! Its so annoying!!!
hahaha These beings work for satan. They hate everyone even themselves deep inside.
I'm in the "act like nothing happened hoovers." He will never change. Moving on and enjoying my life. Don't let toxic people steal your energy. ❤️🙏🏻
Trying to move forward while living the trauma.
Time heals. Don’t worry you got this dear
I let go. And I do have peace of mind. I won't say I don't miss him at times. But it,s not something I can't handel atleast for right now. No going back I am moving into my season of peace and joy.
@@maustin950So very sorry you are going through this.
I feel so exhausted and empty
"Hoover does not mean care but its about control"👌
Yep, control + supply.
I didn't think my wife would leave either. When I learned what narcissism was, and that I had strong narcissistic traits, I slowly had to accept that I had been a toxic husband.
I'm not diagnosed, nor do I qualify for a diagnosis, but you don't have to have NPD to be a narcissist. Don't want to remain one though. Focusing on healing.
Man i wish more people with those traits would be mature as you are . have a nice day sir
Good job mate keep it up
You have the rest of your life to do better for yourself and others. Use your time wisely and change will come.
I'm so proud of u bcz u cn come out and accept. U will definitely be better bcz of this . Wishing u all the best 👍
I wish there was more like you. Once you realize that you need help, you can definitely change.
Omg that’s so crazy.. even the first thing you’ve mentioned. He said I betrayed him by abandoning him ( breaking up with him) and that’s why he hates me. But I was like dude.. you literally openly treated my like crap , you “hated” me before I left you.
My ex left me 6 times in the span of 3 years.. and when I left, it was the biggest betrayal to him.
Exactly the same conversation I had !!!
My hopefully soon to be ex wife (she's been dragging this out since last August, when I finally got up the courage to file for divorce), said "I'm sorry for the decision that you have made.", (I let her know that we were getting divorced). That was after years of abuse including one Hoover back to the same old abuse, and hiring movers to take the majority of our household items with her to a rental house. This stuff is over the top crazy.
sameeee... 😂 well he accused me for things i aint do like i betrayed his trust, said that i aint care about him, u dont understand me, u dont know me, i thought u were different, i thought u cared about me 😂 so i left without saying anyhing
Amazing they all the same !
Week 3 of the silent treatment. It hurt at first but now I'm just mad, who does he think he is to treat me this way! So he drops a bomb that he hasn't wanted to be together for 17 of the 22 years. 22years! HE has sacrificed his happiness. OMG. He spent all the money I had when we met, sold all the properties I bought, ran me into bancruptcy. My 2 older kids were shunned and my son actually took his own life 11 yrs ago. He is slowly turning our 2 boys against me. Then he goes silent. So I went silent too. He thinks I'm going to apologize to him for what HE said. Not gonna happen. I'm done. Good luck loser. I rather live under a bridge in a box than one more day with this evil, hollow, man child.😢 just pray for me! God will make a way❤
🙏🙏🙏✌✌✌
I'll pray for you, because I always say that I'D rather live under a bridge than do another round of this crap. 😂
6 mths later, curious what ended up happening...?
Sending up prayers🙏🏾🙌🏾! Sorry you lost your son . Sometimes, people feel that's their only way out of what they are going through😢.
I have just read your comment and wanted to reach out to you and say that I hope you stuck to your guns and that you are healing nicely and caring for yourself in mind body and soul. I'm sorry you had to go through so much pain but I hope you've used it to become your strength and that life is bringing you more peace and joy and light these days. Sending those things out to you and good vibes , bless you 🤗
It's mind-blowing to discover that someone can think like this!! They are so dangerous to innocent people !!
Once you're able to identify them before, they cause harm.
It's mind-blowing how long we stay...
sure has been blowing my mind!!!! and i guess it's easy for me to feel sorry for him/them because i was only exposed to THISSSS for less than 2 weeks!!! i'm just as mind-blown that people put up with THISSSS for months, years, decades. and i'm NOT trying to come across as...better-than-thou. I'M VERY GRATEFUL GOD SAVED ME FROM...THISSSSS and i'm NOT looking down on those who got caught up and/or couldn't easily pull away.....
It's heartbreaking.
The fact that they are dangerous, is the very reason that narcissistic behavior should be considered a felony, with the punishment fitting the crime.
I JUST LEFT MY EX. NARC DAY 4 NO CONTACT!! And I feel good about my decision..
💪💪💪🥳🥳🥳🥳 Keep rollin' and NEVER EVER LOOK BACK!!! You got this!🌟🌟🌟😎
Good for you! Stay strong 💪🏻 It does get better but please practice self care. I’ve been free a year and am doing well now.
Stop talking to everyone that knows him too 👍🏾
The difference on leaving a narcissist or pair of them behind is you’ll feel you’ve been reborn! Don’t stop to analyse your roll in the break up just keep walking. Load all that angst Energy into self care. You are worth every second of your time. Much love and light to you all.
I left her 3 months ago. I'm glad I decided enough was enough.
Left mine 30 days ago with just the clothes on my back, after 18 yrs,stress of abuse got down to 94 lbs.had to walk out while I could still walk
Same here, I'm about to leave after 21 years of marriage and weighed 96 pounds.
@trishflorida4250 I wasn't gone 3 days and he packed my things, while I was in hospice watching my sister die
It’s scary at first, prepare and mentally prepare yourself before you leave. You will be okay, I promise!!! Xoxo. I’m like the terminator now, you will be too!!!! They’re all a joke!
#WOW,,Sister I went through the #Same thing, Went from #156lbs to #94lbs..#Lose #62 lbs...To make a long story short I #LOOK GOOD, NOW, #ABBA kept me n #STILL IS🎉
Left mine 2 years ago after 20 years. I had gotten down to 125, I'm kind of tall, so it was low for me. Since I've been away from him, I've put on weight, and I swear my hair feels thicker. I'm no longer constantly sick to my stomach.
I'm in the blocked stage because he got a new supply 😅 I'm glad he blocked me because I feel like I would have gave him another chance. God's protection in rejection!!
Run
When he unblocks you & call or text just simply block him do not respond whatsoever. They like to play games with blocking & unblocking as a control factor. When they can’t contact you it’s a different story. Don’t play with him, just move on to a better life!
Yep.God heard him talking when you weren't there. Spared!
I would give my exhusband another chance to. Every time we got evicted. I went to my parents house with the kids. We find a place to live. Move back together. It would get worse. The last time he didn't pay rent when we got evicted. I went back to my parents with the kids. This time I found my own place away from his parents and his friend who he was doing drugs with. I have the apartment and the job and the kids. He gets them every other weekend. No job. Doesn't pay his child support. He divorced me. My life is getting better without him
Ditto ❤
"Why are you leaving, you'll never find anyone better." LOL!!!! Narcissists set the bar so low with how they treat their wives/girlfriends, that literally anyone their (now) ex dates would have no choice but to be an improvement. And probably, a huge improvement too.
Not only that but it raises the bar for you too knowing that you would never want to deal with that again i cant tell you how many people I met after that were like that too it started to show how many people like that I attracted all we have to do is date anyone that doesn’t just have narc traits and you are happy and set for life.
This is so true 😂😂😂😂. Everyone will be better than Them
😂💯they leave doors open for better people
Narcs are so mean and they enjoy seeing you suffer.
I went no contact over a year ago now and it was very hard. I divorced him.
The narc did exactly what this video outlines to a T.
It’s been six months now with no attempts from him or his flying monkeys.
I blocked them all and for awhile I’d get mean messages from other unknown numbers calling me a whore, a gold digger, a piece of sheet… And he’s the one who cheated on me several times. I loved him and was devastated.
Narcs will never stop needing an insane amount of attention. Narcs are so hungry and thirsty that it’s actually scary.
Bye bye narcie.
Good for you. Be proud you got away from him. The only thing is, it's still early and they may try to trick you again. Even if there's a lull in time they sometimes return to test you. Just be wary and don't fall for it. Bless you in moving forward to a better life.
@@kaycampbell8532 Thank you❤️
You are 100% correct he accused me of cheating which I never did and discovered he was the one cheating the whole time. I'm glad and sad its all over for good. He use to drain me emotionally dealing with him. all the cycles were to much.
I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at www.rawmotivations.com
He has accused me of multiple adulteries during this divorce phase of nearly 3 years, due to his delays.(He claims I am delaying. I am working toward a good settlement.) I am supposed to take the settlement he offers, according to him. Anyhow, as I mentioned, I found out that he has a woman on the side. He was always flirtatious and too familiar and looking at other women during the marriage, but i never knew if he had committed adultery. He is now.
keep watching Mr. R-A-W. he'll push you back to your full strength. and hopefully SOMETHING on my playlist will add to your healing. checkout: Heal the Narcissist with CPTSD and utilize the healing modalities on that list or my other HEAL list specifically on healing modalities ...
@@delaw2xoxo269 they are doing a projection of their own behavior their own lies their own betrayal on you.
I'm on the " new supply stage" 😂 since he can't deal with what he has done he's trying to fill that void.. but at the end of the day he will STILL be empty inside..
Likewise. It's all for show the " new supply" it's a sad and pathetic tactic/ploy to create havoc and distress in your life. But the gig is up. We know and study all the horrendous strategies. We're so ready and understand the mission. It's a game for them. But we're armored and ready to fight back with clear wisdom and utter silence. Give them no energy in return. Stay in silence. It'll eat them up. The final word is your smarter and wiser then them. The real discard is them in themselves. They don't know it yet. You can't love anyone unless you dig deep and clean out the mess from within first. I hope you stay focused and out of the way. Eventually they'll stumble and fall like humpty dumpy. 🤦♀️ 😂
Me too. I saw the new supply and hold on while I laugh...
" Bhahahahaha"...
Yeah ok...good luck with that!!!
"They don't get it". Pretty much sums up their whole personality.
lol yes
Oh the flying monkeys. I told them that the separation was none of their business and it was inappropriate for them to be involved then quit answering their calls.
This brings me back memories of multiple traumatic events. 😢 Leaving a narcissist is not even enough to make the narcissist change. Their tears dry up quickly and they forget about you as if you were nothing but a ragdoll.
This!!!💣💥💯
@@kynathomas4809 okay, my friend 🙏
Because chances are… they already had a replacement. Did you guys know that SEXTING online is not cheating???!!! Lol… yea, that’s what he said when I CAUGHT him. I strongly suspected the cheating.. made a fake Facebook and messenger acct. found pics of women I thought he would be attracted to. Within 12 hours he HIT ON HER!!! AND sent her naked pictures within 13 hours on messenger WHILE I sat WATCHING him text “her” (me). WOW!!! I was STUNNED!!! THESE NARCS ARE RELENTLESSLY ON THE HUNT AND SNEAKIER THAN HELL!!!!! Leaving this weekend.🙏💔
Facts
They don’t have empathy so 🤷🏽♀️
I'm up to 137 days of no contact Ben. I'm sure he doesn't even notice that I'm gone or even cares at all. Mine is heartless and cold as hell. I have never felt better since I left him and his main supply long behind. The last time we spoke he said through a nasty email... stay out of my life... like a spoiled little brat. So I know he hates me to much, to want to come back to me. He knows I'm not a fun toy to play with anymore. I guess turning the tables, standing up for yourself, speaking the truth to someone will make them hate you for it. My therapist says I'm like a big mirror, reflecting back the truth to him is why he hates me so much..
He never love you from the start it was all just to use you then throw you away, but you won't be the only one it continues over and over again with someone else. You just got to not fall for the love booming narctassic love to get you in a fast relationship and marriage that's how they get there supply's. Narctassic don't even love there children. Learn to heal get stronger.
Becareful he doesn't come back for revenge one day when the new supply is in devaluation. They have a tendancy to re-idealise you no matter how awful things got, convince you to have another try, only to treat you even worse, just for their own sick pleasure. Only to return to the new supply .. the cycle can go on, if you don't fully go 1000% no contact, no doors left open.
Thanks for sharing about being a mirror reflecting back the truth to them.
Great analogy of the mirror, thank you for that too! The real person they hate is themselves - the truth is the truth and for people like them, it's a strong taste of their own medicine, that turns them bitter towards us. How dare we stand up for ourselves and set boundaries. They hate us so much because we have walked away from their manipulation and control.
Discarded my ex 3 and half years ago was the smartest wisest decision i'v ever made in my entire life 🙌🙏
I left the Narc 6 years ago and he went through all those stages….. pissed him off so much that he couldn’t get to me. He even married his new supply….lol….didn’t last long. She left him too!
9+ months of no contact. Blocked her everywhere. No hovering; nothing. Just space and silence.
"Hoover does not mean care". Thank you. I really needed this to sink in!!
Stay silent, keep away, you loved them... they don't even like you, this is what IT told me!
I'm in the exhausting hoovering stage after I left him 3 years ago. I went back once after 2 years of hoovering. Don't do this, the contempt oozed from his every pore. He would stare me down the way he used to when he bullied me, would physically push me with his body into a corner then bash my head into the wall repeatedly. He's given me so many concussions I suffer from migraines and seizures. I escaped when he went out 1 night. I chose to live in a homeless shelter rather than allow him to take my life. They actually feel entitled to decided if you live or die. They don't care if you're a mother or about your kids..I remained no contact for 6 months while he hunted me like an animal. It's exhausting, so I thought if I spoke to him that I'd at least know his whereabouts and could have more peace in my life. I'm tired always looking over my shoulder and having him ambush me. They are relentless. My part in this is breaking no contact. I was obsessed with a diagnosis, but hear Richard Gannon say. The diagnosis doesn't matter, do they fit the criteria and are they harmful to you? If yes, then that's all that matters. After he physically injured me, he denied it everytime. A part of me always just wanted him to acknowledge how he'd hurt me. Well, forget them ever taking responsibility. It just is not ever going to happen. I'll never get a sincere apology or my feelings validated or an answer why. Don't go back to anyone considering it. You may not escape a second time.
I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at www.rawmotivations.com
Its true. Even if you die by their actions, these demonic entities would feel proud that he/she died because of me. Oh ya luk i am important oh ya luk i am worthy enough. Pure evil. Just run nd let god handle them.
Oh yeah ,one of the way to know when you done with someone is when they play it like ir never happened.
Dear Jennifer, I pray you will get peace and strength.
I turned to God our Father and Jesus our Lord and Savior.
He Saved me and gave me the peace of God. I pray that for you. Much love, Stay Strong.
The ..why is..they just don't care. They only see people..as someone to control..and meet their needs.
This has been my #1 question. They seem absolutely clueless to why would anyone leave them, it’s bizarre. He said I didn’t want him anymore, THATS why I dumped him.
Because from a Narc perspective you don't leave them, they leave you. When they discard you it's for one or two reasons. They found a better supply or they completely broke you to the point that you're a former shell of your self. Other than that, they always stick to you be if they come and go from your life.
@@parrymylogicthen290 I found it crazy as I dumped him and his crying, begging and raging on about my not wanting him anymore. He didn’t break me he just bored me with his nonsense. 14 years ago I didn’t know what I was dealing with and 14 years of Hoovers now makes sense.
Mine asked me for a month after I moved out if I was seeing someone else and that he couldn't think of any other reason why I would do something so "drastic and sudden". It was so frustrating to hear that especially since I told him multiple times exactly why I left. Unfortunately I can't go no contact with mine because we have a child together
Yeah, mine said 'well, if you don't love me anymore.....' & I was like, 'bro, do you even know what "love" IS??' Like, Nooooo, it wasn't you cheating on me pretty much the whole time we were together, it wasn't putting demands on me or telling me to unalive myself before & after major surgery, or refusing to even plan a Day w/ me bc you're not gonna 'let me tell you what to do''. What?? If trying to make a Grocery List is 'telling someone what to do'. No, it wasn't Any of That, it's Me & nothing's good enough for Me. Yup, he's right Nothing & Worse is Not good enough for me. I hope all of us stay narc free & meet a bunch of awesome ppl, & never have to deal w/ Anything Like this Ever Again👍❤️
Hope this video helped answering your question!
They control everything they can including telling you not to be saying anything about anything that goes on in our home. 🛑
AMEN AMEN AMEN 🎉
It was the dirty family secret, we couldn't tell anyone what was happening.
@@lindaflesch9083 AMEN AMEN, Sister, #Same here🙏❤️
Mine is the polar opposite. The smear campaign is in full effect, but id never because being private versus secretive is a concept that he doesn't comprehend. I sent him alone to visit his family for Xmas this week, and I'm all packed up!
It took me having a massive heart attack to realize I can't take his abuse anymore. 4 years of my life wasted. Thankfully we never lived together. He didn't even visit me in the hospital when I had my heart attack. Then weeks later told me I needed to start bringing in an income. I hadn't even been cleared by my doctor for work, and was still very weak. He didn't even pay for anything at my house, so why was this his concern? He complained about money but blew 600 dollars at a casino. Its painful, but im relieved to not be so stressed and anxious about jumping through all his hoops and still getting raged at for no reason. I just can't imagined that anyone else would endure his crap. So good luck to him...
This is theeeeeee most accurate description of what I experienced with the narc! I’m defs saving this video 👌🔥 I’m 6 years post divorce and I STILL struggle with validation, and getting people to understand what I went through and how evil it was and why it changed me into a completely different person! It’s so hard to explain, it kinda makes me feel crazy 😭😭 But I really appreciate this video! Thank you ❤️
Yes! The lacking validation force get we went through is tough… combined with the guilt that the narc tries to place upon us.
Yes, you speak my heart and my own frustrations and sadness feeling seen and known and understood ❤ such a crazy experience 😂😢😅
Find a way to validate yourself. Don't look for it in anyone else. They were not with you, when you were being mistreated. They won't get it.
Find your new Happy!
You should not have to repeatedly explain. Let it go, stop reliving the experience. Move on, except the change and allow time to help you heal. I was not real.
I’m 6 years away from the narc too. And don’t judge yourself….I literally just started therapy 3 weeks ago because I still deal with the pain.
This is so weird… my husband discarded me but EVERY THING he is saying in this video is exactly what he did to me. He thought I would chase him but he actually did me a favor by leaving.
You can’t beat a narcissist, I have tried but you can’t. Their a waste of time. I had my run in with one & stayed 4yrs. I was dumb & I put myself in that situation. My fault for staying, he was just doing what he does & I allowed it by staying. So if anyone is reading this. If anyone is dealing with a narcissist & you continue to stay & allow them to run you crazy. It’s your own fault, a heart heals in time & the longer you stay away remember that. Stop being their toy & hope they meet someone who is exactly like them.
I’m done with fruitless, toxic relationships.
I’m done with allowing him to Hoover me.
Even if he’s my ex but we’re “just friends”.
I can’t even be friends with him, even tho I love and care about him.
I’m don’t wasting my energy.
He’s blocked now.
Along with other narcissistic guys I’ve dated: all blocked.
Only talk to my ex husband who I share a kid with through fb messenger and we barely talk.. super businesslike and to the point on my end.
This is the point I’ve finally reached at 35 years old.
I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. I’m just done wasting my energy, focus, love, time and mental capacity and on selfish takers, users and abusers.
I’m too damn old for it haha
And I have a lot more important things to work on and put my energy into in my life.
I had to stop and think what is it that I need to straighten out inside me that has me tolerating this crap, forget about him, why do I let it happen. I realize that I have work to do on my post trauma before he showed up, he’s just a predator that detected an injured prey because if I was healthy I’d have no problem walking away from the bullshit cause I know what love is but fact that I let it happen is a concern to me
The fact that you even became aware of how these dynamics came to be is HUGE! Plus, questioning how the traumas you endured before the narc entered your life, and how those traumas played a role in any of it, that’s HUGE!!
Consider yourself fortunate to be so emotionally evolved that you are able to see it from that perspective. Many never do, and they go to their graves thinking they were defective, or unworthy of being loved.
Keep investing your time and effort into your healing, and the good people will gravitate toward you. You deserve that.
Ex-husband kicked me out of the house for another woman giving me 6 week's notice. A few days before I was to leave, he asked me to stay (things didn't work out with the new supply). I said no and moved 1,000 miles away. So in his mind, who discarded who? He tried to be friends with me, but once our business/financial issues were resolved I blocked him. In my mind, he discarded me and I refused a hoover.
@tammyedmondson4859,
This is my guess: if it’s the first time, he will see it as his fault. If it’s multiple times where you keep going back, he will see it as your fault. There’s a saying about the Hoover: they say that after you have been abused, quit, but then go back, they feel like you like it or don’t mind and will actually abuse you more. With this twisted logic, they will negate all responsibility of their mistreatments of you because you were always game so how could it be their fault? It was just part of the, way that you two, “ communicated “, or, “ worked things out “.
Just my opinion.
I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at www.rawmotivations.com
Has anyone on here not had a hoover.Im 9months in no hoover.My ex narc not your typical narc?
After 14yrs one son I left my narcissist 16 days ago after seeing in his phone at least 7 different women that he is in a relationship with including his ex girlfriend that he has 2 children with and swore that he was just co parenting with. Im struggling this is so hard so painful I feel like I'm going through withdrawal 😢 these videos are helping so thank you!
💜💜💜💜💜💜
You deserve so much better. I know its going to be hard but eventually a better you will emerge. I'm going through so much c ra p with my narc husband and I'm just done like I dont care what he does anymore or what happens to him.
You will get there. Be strong. 🍒
You so deserve better. I hope you have a happier and more peaceful life without the narcissistic person in your life.
These video help SO much 😊 YOU will be ok. Hang in there, you got this! ❤
Not one person that we knew will come anywhere near me. I was kind to these people for near on a decade, his family, our so called friends but ofcourse they will tell a different story. As hard as it is to realise the mindset of the narcissist, its even harder to accept that people who seemed like 'normal' compassionate people would as good as leave you for dead to save themselves. Its a painful lesson to learn about people in general.
Absolutely. I’ll never understand it. Victim of a smear campaign.
It's ok, before it's over the truth will come to light... because after you , it will be someone else...
Ex narc actually accused me of "cheating" in our marriage to his divorce lawyer... All while sitting there with his new "girlfriend" he hooked up with only DAYS after I filed for divorce!!! SMFH!!! 😕😂
@@octoberdawn1087 *Projection!*
I suspect both of my Nazi bros. are Latent homosexuals. The youngest, the "BuLLy-Victim" is an Overt, Histrionic and OCD; just like their perfect, FAKE Prez, IMPERSONATOR.
A Somatic Gym creature. And the most sadistic/ Twisted 1.
The BuLLy, 'Ammosexual' was a "Belly batterer," too. (X 2.)
Older, he abdicated All his authority to his "always* more psychologically screwed up" victim,* (from when he was 9 & 10.) Destroyed the baby, who was only 1.5-2.5. y.o., then.
They only become better Fakes, Actors and Liars! They're both too Poor to Pay ATTN.! So they Lost Mom's Home!
It's almost unbelievable when you put All the pieces back together, just how 🧩 stupid these ppl truly are!
Their ignorance took out the late, Dem. oldest. She was an inverted* Narc. who'd screwed things up enough. (/ Prof. Sam Vaknin.)
A Parasite - yes. But, not an outright Bloodthirsty predator!
Embezzler+. Or, TL. Fool. Willing to do Anything to cover their/ his Tracks! Inflicting Max. Pain+!
It's All a façade and a House of Cards. I always thought my Dad
was the Narc. ... Wow, was I ever wrong!!!
🇺🇲😭💔 ⚓💔💔
I’m in the stage where he came back after a 2 year break up and now not even a year back together the cheating has continued. It’s a cycle
Break the cycle, joing the 7 day challenge!
Im in the stage of leaving him! I'm done, gave my all and cannot go on like this anymore 😞 I got to stay strong after a bad session yet again today...I have to build a new life as far from this man as possible! With God, my children, family and friends by my side, im finally at the point of leaving this toxic relationship after 10 years of total hell. 💪💪💪🙏
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
I'm in the discard stage. I was told he HAD to go to the new supply b/C I treat him so terribly. After realizing that he is a narcissist I believe it's best I was discarded, but it still stings knowing I meant nothing.
Same.. I’m glad I was able to get clarity and be done with his sickness n games.. it’s hard knowing it was lies, fake, disgusting behaviors over all the years we were married and had a child together but at least he’s off feeding from his new supply. Hopefully he’ll finally be able to enjoy himself with his new shiny things since I was so horrible and never ever call me, leave voicemails or send any texts to me directly again.
I say peace out!! ✌🏼😂
You can't mean anything to Mr NOTHING
Its been a month since I discarded my ex narc....BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE!!! He messaged me on a social media app that he blocked me on a while prior. I thought to myself, so after i went no contact, now im good enough to unblock? I didn't bother responding and blocked him there too...the thing that keeps me strong in my decision is knowing i was just a means for him...Grade A supply....but i am a great person to me. I also have a way better outlook of what boundaries are. This is all about you....and focusing on the fact that you are everything to you....meaning nothing to your ex is no longer a factor....STAY STRONG!!!!
I left him , he was gaslighting and lies constantly, texts bs and calls and hangs up , i had to block his accounts
You've proven that your narcissist shouldn't be trusted under any circumstances.
The abuse escalates, hope to help others identify narcissists and save themselves from the endless abuse, exploitation and torture.
I left a boyfriend who was so nice on the first 3 months and then I started to see/hear things that I was not happy about it. Some stupid jokes, words, making fun of something in my body. I had an emocional breakdown and then left him. He made me feel so guilt that I wanted to go back to him and he did not wanted the relationship anymore. Why would I want to go back to somenone who does not care at ALL?I have no Idea why I was begging him to continue. I have no idea why I got so angry that day. I guess I had a "Full Cup"of every little things that happened during the relationship.
@@meuresouza1880 You dodged a bullet, lucky you!
@@ly5142 It was a 6 month relationship, but after I left "he decided" that we could be only friends and I said "No". Yesterday, after 0 contact, he sent me an email telling me that he have found another person. I don't understand why he had to tell me that...How sick!??he knew I liked him...
He made me feel almost crazy that he abused me financially and emotionally for so long. Then when I left, he contacted all my friends and family (flying monkeys) he stalked my home, he begged, he accused me of never loving or caring about him after all I had done for him. Listening to this was shocking but felt like a breath of air, thank you for making me feel sane and not alone. ❤
Hi there I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
Accurate information. I barely survived having a relationship with a narcissist. Never again. I can spot that love bombing now a mile away and it makes me want to be physically ill when I see it.
He's currently acting like a victim and begging me to come back. Sending me pictures of empty liquor bottles and ash trays full of cigarette butts (because he knows I hate when he uses those substances excessively). He told me yesterday that he went to the ER for an ulcer (to make me feel bad for him), then said he was going to the bar to drink immediately after. He told me he started up his dating apps again and added a bunch of new females on Instagram (I'm assuming to make me feel hurt and jealous). He's such a child. I pray that he gets help.
Currently being exposed to the smearing stage. Day 3 of no contact.
Stay strong. You know the truth
It's been a while, how are you doing now?
@@RawMotivationsi’m curious to know as well
I always see the hoover stage as their performance. Their act...its never authentic, just a ploy to not only reel you back in but to perform and win other potential supplies. I noticed these maneuvers also happen in public to semi-public areas and its kinda like a peacock dance. When its starts I ghost quickly or vanish in a crowd.
I’m in “no contact” but now I’m getting random phone calls. I downloaded an app on my phone to where the notifications get automatically forwarded. 💪🏽 all good.
Wow. So true. He says I’m everything is my fault. And he plays the victim and says it’s my fault that he in the position he in being homeless and he doesn’t see it was all his fault by cheating and him leaving his family first.
The smear campaign with family and in our whole community has been so incredibly painful. So, part of no contact has been leaving the community altogether and hermiting in my new home to heal. It’s been just over a year and I’m just now starting to think about finding and getting involved in a new community for myself. Just starting to think about it - not doing it yet. Still healing from the psychological damage, not quite there yet. I still can’t trust fully. But I’ve come a long way, and feeling more empowered and healthy all the time. Thank you for these videos. To any self-aware narcissists here, I am impressed by your willingness to be on a healing path yourselves. Long road for us all, but worth it.
Love your statement; 'Hover does not mean 'care'.'.
'Hover is Control'
Very important to realize these truths.😮
In mirroring/Hoover stage. I left him but came back. The nastiness still peaks out occasionally bc he just can’t help it, but overall he’s being very good. I’m still divorcing him. I’ve been here before and know what is coming. Nothing is worth abuse.
The “gaslighting themselves” concept is so accurate and it is something not all the experts are talking about. That and everything else in this video is so well explained . Thank You
They DESERVE the gaslighting they do to themselves. Narcissists are the WORST.
Absolutely ❤@@BlackthornBetty
This was an excellent point. I was fortunate. We met online and it took place over 3 months with only 3 face-to-face encounters. I had tried to break things off the previous month as I felt things were not progressing and that I was not having my needs met or heard. I think this accelerated the appearance of the toxic phase which took me totally by surprise. I was accused of a myriad of things, chiefly that I did not appreciate all he had done to spend time with me and all he had done for me (particularly ironic because I had driven to him and booked a hotel room to take him to an event as my guest that helped his career and not mine). This video and your comment helped me understand what he was up to when he accused me of all things that he had done. He has texted me on Thanksgiving and Christmas and now afterwards under the guise of him checking out see how I’m doing. I hate ghosting him as it goes against my grain, but even being direct and honest won’t work with him and would merely encourage him in trying to Hoover me back into his chaos. I wish that he would be one of the self aware narcissists that would get some counseling, but I don’t think that will ever happen.
106 days NC. He’s blocked and deleted. Tried a hoover just over a week ago by sending me a friend request via Snapchat. I don’t even have a Snapchat account. I ignored it. No contact I remain forever. He disrespected me totally after emotionally and financially abusing me. The least he deserved was for me to blindside him by one day just removing myself from the toxic situation I’d found myself in. I totally lost myself in the manipulation, lies and deceit. I didn’t know him. I just knew the man who wore the mask (not the man behind the mask) who love bombed me by mirroring me. Essentially you initially fall in love with yourself not the narc.
Mentally and emotionally left the narc 3 years ago next month 7.17.20 🎉🎉🎉🎉 legally done as of 2.4.21 ❤❤ I now live a beautiful peaceful life
The hoovering & begging is the worst part. Don't let them back. It will only get worse
I’ve been through this with 4 guys since 16 and I’m 32 now. My absent father and single working mom really left me as pray for these insecure energy vampires. I never forgave my dad (he was murdered) for this either. Just dumped this last bf who I thought was the one, but I caught him ignoring me and adding an ex (who has a bf) on fb. I don’t understand why some people feel the need to be “parented” by their partner, it’s sick and not fair. I’m an only child and basically raised myself so no, I’m not going to coddle some dude in how to behave correctly. That’s not love it’s enabling. As a woman I only want to entertain a man please, not a project.
We may be twins cause SAME!!
A project 😂
Aloha There appears to be more Narcs than not. You are a kind person which is a bright light for them to see.
Best to love yourself.
Everything you say is how it is , so confusing to understand, but it’s just how they are , the narc will not change to a better person no
Matter what and to save yourself just leave them
It was painful but im so grateful for the strength I never knew I had
They apply whichever part of the cycle fits at that particular moment because we get the upper hand. Its almost amusing to watch, but they can akso turn insidious in their revenge. 🍒
He is currently in shock/angry, still trying to manipulate the situation. This is the second run as I was hoovered last time and he did all of the things you said. I thought that it would change but he has actually gotten worse. No remorse and completely in victim mode.
There’s no way he can say he was cheated on when he made sure all saw him with many women with no shame!
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
I left my narcissistic wife after 23 years of putting up with everything hoping she would eventually change. Not sure what stage I am or she is, but let me tell you that I probably unleashed WW3 but is way too early to make an assessment. I know i will start fighting battles but my goal is to win the war and go back to my usual self, before this horrific story. Really liked your video, you are telling my life story. Thank you!
I’m in all stages, but I’m a warrior been through this all my life. No more . No more, love yourself, know your worth is how you keep going. Keep the ones around only that support you positive. Self love yourself, figure yourself out alone with god almighty 🙏💝🌹
Yes you are! You deserve love!
I'm soooooooo glad you mentioned "hoover does NOT mean care" that is SO IMPORTANT!!!!! That is so important because for years, yes years that was my assumption. It was wrong. I assumed hoover meant care, UNTIL that hoover trapped me in and used against me in a very manipulative way. I was blackmailed. I always thought hoover meant care, no it certainly does not mean care. When you deal with someone so messed up, they don't think logical, they can try to rope you back in just to plow you down in their tracks and laugh in your face, or to have the last say/situation. They want the ability to trample all over you. I've been there, I've been trampled on. Yes they are that evil
Right. They just want revenge.
Yup. What I experience all the time. TIME TO GET OUT FOR GOOD. Please pray for me, for courage and strength to do it in spite of the trauma bond.
I was married 15 years to a Narcissist and didn't know about NPD.. The entire marriage was so confusing until the 2020- 2021 wnen he was clearly cheating, lying and being cocky, and saddistic. He finally admitted he was in love with another woman on our15th anniversary. By then, I was so crushed I couldnt eat or breathe. I immediately got a lawyer, filed for divorce and left him and everything behind to fly 3000 miles away. Within a few weeks he was plastering Facebook with himself and his new supply in posed, color-cordinated photos. He told our confused friends that I wanted to leave! Then he married his affair partner and continues to post his new "exciting" life on Facebook.(Friends have told me) I blocked him as soon as I could after I left and have been no contact for about 2 years.
It's indescribable what that toxic relationship did to me emotionally and physucally. The cavalier narcissist just moves on with a new person, repeating what he does without a care for anyone's feelings.
Wow! This sounds almost identical to my marriage. Multiple infidelities, was discarded 4 times. Went through divorce process after the second time, but again took him back and didn't go through with it. I gave him 3 chances and on our 15 year anniversary the last discard, he immediately moved in with the AP and took our 14 year old son! He's literally turned my own son against me. I filed first for divorce again this time in January and been dealing with him dragging it ever since. I have become a completely different person bc of this, but what can you do. Live and learn. I refuse to let myself wallow in shame. I'm so close to being free! He's already discarded the AP twice yet she's still playing his games. She can have him.
God spared you.
Learn to love the person in the mirror first.
Take back your power. We have big hearts and they are predators without a heart
My ex called the police on me after I changed the locks and acted like such a victim that they locked me in a room for three hours while he stole all my valuables. Three months later after no contact, he sets a fire in my backyard and tried to burn down my house. Be careful! If I were to do it again, I wouldn’t have told him exactly what I thought of him when I broke up with him.
I essentially left months ago (3 months to be exact, and really pulled back 2 months ago) and finally Wednesday made up my mind I was done after nearly a year of bullshit. Finally sent the last message bc I refuse to ghost 👻. Said my piece. Blocked him on everything. Removed his contact months ago …. I know his number though lol by heart but …. I blocked his number too. So I can actually heal and move the hell on with my life.
Thanks for this video. It is helpful. Im having difficulty at 66, recovering myself and my life after recently leaving my X fiance narc.
Hi , how are you now? Hope you are still healing and better
Thanks for asking. I am still needing assitnace wih a specific very chllenging situation with y X. Its not easyt to track all your videos and replies. I dont get onlne a lot. I really would like to talk to you for 15 minutes.?
@@RawMotivations
@@RawMotivations I am feeling a l ittle better, thx, however, there is still a specific situation, which I mentioned before, and with which Im at a loss to move ahead on. I seriously need to. It is holding up my ability to completely move on, and it is very stressful as it affects my safety.
I genuinely had a big smile in my face at the end of this video, just knowing the narcissist was begging me to come back for weeks, almost crawling, cuz I know he wanted to discard me later, like his revenge, cuz I left first😂
Idk if this is my narcissist trait but made me laugh a lot, maybe kinda happy I don't hate him and I don't wish him bad even after all the hell he put me through, but reversed position is funny tho 😆
I left my ex first a week ago. He ended up in jail got charged with domestic violence
Hoover is control, not care. Thank you
I cut contact from him.
So I can get my power back.
So he doesn’t know my next move.
Just told my husband tonight that I want him to leave. I’m so done.
They get very angry cuz they gotta seek another sucker to groom manipulate they r evil sneaky cunning to the bone NEVER EVER GO BACK LESSON LEARNED MOVE ON 💜🙏
Mine left me after 20+ years pregnant with our 8th child. He got with an addict then after getting addicted to drugs and missing his family for the millionth time and wanting to come home I said no. This man had the audacity to say I left HIM when he needed me most! Then proceeded to break out my car windows and say I was bitter....smh...
I give you and your wife all the credit in the world. You for your acknowledgement with your disorder since that is the first step; your wife for the strength to get through this.
20 yrs with a gay narcissist when I left he attacked with vengeance. Asked him, "why he wouldn't just let me go, I was a good wife etc. He said, "you abandoned me" WHAT? Crazy..I never told anyone why I was divorcing, having two boys 12 and 16 it was for them. Was the talk of the town how could I leave such an amazing man..As a Christian it was not my sin to expose. He turned everyone against me, kids. Family, church, friends he took everything. Healed then marred again 20 yrs. now and living a physically absent marriage that started after we married. I'm like a magnate...both seemed to be grate guys, yet their hidden secrets have caused me so much pain. Feeling to old to leave, just don't have the fight in me & thinking of those I would hurt if I left..my beautiful grand kids... My strength comes from my heavenly Father, and one day he will wipe away all my tears. He is my husband the one that will never abandon me. In my weakness he is made strong. I should write a book 😆 🤣 😢 only if it helped someone...
It's the arrested development for me when they're in denial about the ish they put you through meanwhile they've cheated the entire one sided situationshit and expect you to stick around...yes their delusional for sure!!! Trust everyone will see them for the toxic shits they truly are...
Currently in no contact - successfully for 5 months. There has been some mild hoovering attempts this time, but I went back after 3 catastrophic implosions of our "situationship" over the past 14 years. But really I first dated him 30 years ago - had other relationships from age 19 to 33 - then we reconnected. What a mistake, my biggest regret.
This time my eyes are finally fully open, and I finally understand what has been going on. I will never return. I will never respond. I am holding fast, attending therapy and working on myself to be the kind of strong, self-loving, boundaried person a narc would avoid.
OMGGGGG!!!!!!!! Every word, every single word out of your mouth absolutely true. I ignored the flying monkeys so he sent me an email "reminding" me that he owns me, every part of me. 😢 Madness!!!
Get started on healing, join here www.rawmotivations.com/meditation
I said to my ex, I am done. He hoovered, said nice things, just to make me hope, and discard me.
Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
The stage I am in right now is I’ve blocked him on everything. He was completely silent and emotionless during the breakup. I wish I had more answers but I’ve come to the conclusion I’ll never get them and need to work on being a happier and better person. Still love the person I thought he was…he seemed very gentle, kind and supportive. But he’s a liar, and a very good one.
I know exactly what you mean. I've been trying to rack my brain for answers and why, why he lied about the stupidest things we would meet for a date in his truck.and I was so stupid. I was intimate because he said he didn't have a place to stay, but then I'd follow him home, and he go to his home, he claimed he sold the lies were just unbelievable, silly and crazy, I don't think I'll ever get the answer he has, he does exactly what the video says, denies blames it on me, so yes, let's keep strong and run don't look back it's so hard when you still care about them and love them, but it's for the best
Exactly and found out over my 44 years of life that they have secret friends who are exactly the same.
It is good that she has humbled you and teached a lesson.
first....I love your videos. second....my narcissist is my brother. It is difficult to remove a family member from your life. It had to be done. This video made me cry & realize things about myself. Many thanks for your help. :)
Thanks for sharing!! Wish you the best on yourhealing journey
I am in the stage that I dumped him 14 years ago went no contact the entire time and he has intermittently tried to Hoover me, with ZERO success.
That's bc he wants what he wants from you, they don't stop either nor take no for an answer. You'll eventually need a restraining order
Going on 9 months no contact. I did get a hoover on our anniversary date of meeting. I was with narc almost 3 years, it was really good first year. Then it started to feel like taken for granted. I saw some red flags and felt they were loosing interest and may have met someone else. We did have a long distance relationship. A cople hours away, basically I broke up first thinking something was very wrong. They wanted to meet up and talk things out. Having empathy I agreed. Well they texted the next day and then they broke up with me and blocked me. They had to be the one to break up with me. Real piece of work..That did it for me, then got educated on narcissist and put in gods hands. Never again for me...Its been tough love and painful, still healing but its better than being manipulated and lied too, thats the abusive part and the sneaky behavior and immature behavior and cowardly. They cant stand to own up to their mistakes. I really felt bad for them like something evil was controlling them. But, I had to choose myself or else go down with them.
Wowwww
My ex did not have to wonder why I filed for divorce. I asked him outright if he was cheating.
I cut off all contact except when dealing with the children.
I moved on with my life and never looked back.
Going through a break up at the moment and I thought he left because I was a narcissist. Turns out I’m not. My therapist said I’m not and I’ve been beating the living shit out of myself for losing him. And my friends will tell me he’s an asshole for leaving me and I’ll say “nah it was all me, he was the best thing that ever happened to me”. This video helped reassure me I’m not behaving like a narcissist. I do feel that betrayal though.
It's okay for you to feel betrayed because you probably were. Narcissists betray our trust (the most important aspect of any relationship. Without trust, there is no real relationship.)
Learn, remove yourself from any toxic people regardless who they may be, so YOU may heal. We need to focus on US so we aren't taken advantage of and so we are healthy for us and others.
Correct on all accounts! “I never thought you’d really leave…😢” after HE broke off the relationship twice before. And I foolishly went back both times. 😣 This time I left - for good. Now the smear campaign. The things he has said about me are so distorted and untrue. Took getting a PPO to get him to leave me alone. He requested a hearing to get it revoked - but the judge determined it should stay in place! 🎉I think he got the message this time. He can say whatever he wants to. I no longer care.
I'm with you. Never look back
He is ghosting me at this point. He kept reaching out and I would not respond.. He reached out to tell me he had a woman and to leave him alone. So I did. Even though I wasn’t contacting him before at all. Then he contacts me to say Im mean etc. I almost kinda let him back in. Then I was like NO.. Finally I did reach out because he said he has an std on social media. I opened the lines of communication and he was like I never said that ? I’m fine. So I said okay I’ll just go get tested. Then I said do you have anything to say? Nothing total silence. I got so mad 😡 it’s like you have been bugging me for months. So I get mad and say I just wanted closure etc but of course I block him before he can respond. I was feeling horrible because I can tell he doesn’t care. He has stopped basically chasing me on his Facebook he is talking about all the women he is dealing with etc. so I am in the ghosting phase. After they chase you for so long when they stop it has you wanting to chase them. Just evil people
@@MissPrettyNPink I think everything he is doing (talking about all the women he is dealing with, having an STD, etc.) is just a way to keep you engaged with his life. I would bet none of it’s true! He WANTS to “tease” you and hopes you’ll reach out to him. Don’t do it!! I know it’s hard - took me 4 years to realize what was really happening, how I was controlled and manipulated. It was a challenge to finally ghost my ex-fiancé, but so worth it now that I’m on the other side. 🙌🏻💜
❤❤❤❤, BEN I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD TAKE 6 YRS. TO BE FINISH WITH THIS. IT DID ONCE IT WAS FULLY EXPOSED. 😊😊 YOUR COMMENTARYS KEPT ME FOCUS, GROUNDED AND DETERMINED. I HAD TO REVERT BACK TO HOLD ONTO MY MORAL PRINCIPLES. I CAN TELL YOU MY LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER. REGARDS AND LOVE TO YOUR MOM. PLEASE KEEP PRAYING 🙏 FOR ME. HEALTH, OH MY...HOLDING THUS FAR, BUT NOT A GREAT IMPROVEMENT. AGAIN, MANY THANKS, AMEN! GOD IS.. ❤❤❤
💯 “How dare you leave me?”
Stage. Completely isolated from any previous “friends” or acquaintances who could provide information. Just flying monkeys popping up. No info, complete silence treatment from everyone. And, gaslighting. Crazy making.
Changed my number 4 days ago and couldn’t feel more free !!
Stalking.. that’s what’s happening here now.
That's what I'm dealing with and I run a business in my home. Dog Boarding. Mostly aggressive dogs. I'm like come on over the fence good luck 😂 not all women have that advantage but if you can find any way to feel safer. Set up cameras etc. Stay safe ❤
What kind of stalking are you experiencing? He installed cameras on the windowsill to watch me coming and leaving the house, but states it's for the neighborhood. However, if I am not home by certain time, he will call me. He has consistently accused me of cheating.
I hope leaving my ex husband caused him HELL! He certainly put me through hell