How to Make a Narcissist Regret Hurting You
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- čas přidán 2. 08. 2024
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If you're a woman feeling trapped in a toxic relationship and looking for freedom, you've come to the right place. With over 3000+ clients, I've integrated everything I've learned into a comprehensive program designed to help you reclaim your freedom. My goal is to guide you to break free without confronting or trying to fix him. Together, let's rediscover YOU and cultivate your confidence and clarity. To take the next step in your healing journey with me, visit www.rawmotivations.com/breakt...
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If you're a man struggling with narcissistic traits and seeking the path, community, and transformation that I've experienced, I'm here to help - but only if you are serious about investing the time and energy. To begin this journey with me, schedule a session at www.rawmotivations.com/break-...
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self-aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor, a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth, and change. I do that through these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook.
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I dont think they regret hurting you
They enjoy it and get supply from it.
Thank you Again, Ben. You do a wonderful job.
Nope. Sometimes it makes them feel better to make you feel bad
44 years and 3 kids and I meant nothing. When I left he was posing on the front lawn like “here I am “. He forgot to look in the mirror; with his huge belly and receding hairline.
They do regret hurting the victim. But they regret because they lose the supply 😊.
They only hurt if something happens to their money or whatever they have going on in their life. They don’t care for anyone but themselves.
It’s a trauma response from severe trauma.
@@harrisonwallace3498 yes, I understand that and have educated myself on all of this but there is right and wrong. They knew exactly what they were doing. Behavior tells all.
NPD is a mental illness isn’t that if your mentally ill you don’t know what your doing?.
I’m trama bonded in a narcissistic marriage and I know they do sometimes regret and occasionally try, to not loose their appliance. But they don’t love themselves either. They are a monster catch 22. They are evil out of fear and everyone is as worthless as they feel about themself that they rarely if ever tell Anyone!
@@susanturner9023 but you shouldn’t sit and take it. No excuses for their behaviors. They know right from wrong and continue to disrespect you.
They don’t regret losing you. They just get mad at you because now they have to put forth effort to dig up old supply or hunt for fresh supply, but most likely go back to some old supply.
Yes, they tend to circle back to their ex's. You will notice that they stay friends with their ex's just in case they need them later.
Bingo
My god, narcissists are cowards. Too afraid to face the feelings that we all have every day
Spot on and well said!!!
The BIG value in a breakup with a narcissist IS losing that worthless individual. Losing the narcissist is the BEST thing you can obtain from that person.
Let that sink in.
LOOSING a LOSER!!!
100% 👍🏻❤️
True that! Their absence is your peace, which is priceless
I don't think they have the capability to give a shit. No more for me. I'm done.
Im planning to leave this f narcissist thing had enough of being abused
Me, too. I would have left LONG AGO, IF IT WASN'T IMPOSSIBLE!
It wont happen i WONT put myself in that toxic crap ever again
If you care about how a narcissist feels, you are losing your time. Best thing is to go no contact, forget they even exist, because anyway they are not worthy of your time or efforts.
They box, and they also reframe reality so it suits their 'reality'
100%
@@BeTheLight624 200%
The delusion keeps them believing that they're winning.
Yup! I sent a text to my ex saying that exact thing. I said “You just edit and rewrite the story to fit your narrative” that enraged him, and of course I got the most vicious response back. Blame shifting, projecting etc etc etc. zero accountability.
YES!! Rewrite the whole narrative to be in their favor or just to look as innocent as possible. Mine accused me of things I couldn't even physically do just so it wasn't his fault.
I left my narc husband after 30 years. I was his only stable, primary source for so long. Yes he was a serial cheater so he had loads of secondary supply sources. What you are saying is he's only missing me like he'd miss a fridge or car that broke down? He'll only miss the control be had over me? Ooooof that's a painful pill to swallow.
Good on you for finding freedom - especially after so many years! That's courage and growth - both values the narc does not possess. We are objects to be used to fulfil their needs and we are expected to behave and obey. I bet he isn't taking any responsibility for why the relationship ended.
Being self aware that i had a very toxic mindset, i can say, they do not care about hurting you, its all about them and getting their needs met. No matter what you say or do, it does not matter, once their focus is redirected towards someone else, youre no longer a concern of theirs.
These folks are in pain and hurting and they do want help but deep down it’s too painful for them too admit it.
For me , that is the toughest part of the entire thing. It’s the hardest part to get over. Knowing you mean absolutely ZERO to the person you genuinely loved and cared about. It’s the worst part of it all.
Mine called me a "worthless piece of 💩" repeatedly every night as he clocked back seagram and sevens untill he passed out. Fun times! He died 7 years ago. We were together for 17 years. His misery nearly killed me.
Im still here. Life is better. Its been slow, but i am happy again.
There is healing. For me, it took a lot of introspection and working through my own family trauma before disecting our marriage. Brutal honesty with myself and learning ro value myself and stop rhat programmed, automatic trauma bond response.
Turns out that it wasnt my shame or guilt to begin with. It was all an illusion/delusion to begin with.
Y'all hang in there! It really does get better!
Thank you for sharing this. It gives me hope 💗
That is so sad how you were abused! I hope 🤞🏼 you will heal and have a great life now❤!
I Never Felt Worthless, but They Wanted Me To!
Consistently shows he couldnt care less
Literally
I think Narc's hate being alone, so they also just use someone to just be there. Again, only caring about themselves!🙁☹️
They are runners, they are always running from their shame, always.
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Yes
Love the explanation btwn feeling ‘worthless’ vs ‘worth less.’ Few yrs ago, I let my narc husband cause me to feel ‘worthless’ by questioning the devaluing comments he made to me. Then I realized, God gave me a purpose to be more than just a wife. I’m a valued mama, nana, sister, friend, etc. This video helped me understand that my narc actually thinks I’m ‘worth LESS’ than him. Not worthless. Big difference I’m glad to understand. No wonder we argue over simple words. Because HIS idea of my value/worth to him, and MY idea of the value I want to be to him, are not the same.
Nailed it!🔥
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I had two narcissists in my life.. One was my sister and the other one was a friend. I have no contact with either of them anymore.
Me too. Several girlfriends, a sister, a father and an ex. It was all fascinating because all were horrible in different ways. If you’re on to them I have figured out that if you want them to do something just tell them how wonderful they will look
Definitely felt worthless, and de valued.
They discarded you long ago and found someone or something better to do.They are heartless people.Dont think they ll ever be sad over losing you because for them it's all your fault
Well I’ve felt the pain of what he did to me. Every single emotion. He broke me. I was lost. If only I could have compartmentalised. I couldn’t do it. I’ve had to self reflect and introspect, heal and grow. 13 months on and I’m in a better place now. But still healing. Can’t be dealing with that toxic garbage. I discarded that garbage and you don’t go back in the trash when you’ve thrown it out.
Appreciate you sharing your story. It must have been really tough. I'd love to invite you to our free masterclass where you can learn how to break free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
Please be vigilant and keep him blocked - I went off all social media for 3 years all messaging apps - I was utterly broken by our 3 years relationshit. For the past 4 months I have come back to life I am me again - I sat with my pain and I will never let another person treat me like that again. However I went back in WhatsApp and reinstalled it new and his number was no longer blocked - I’d forgotten about him - I got a hoover message on WhatsApp last night after 3 years! Please keep blocked and don’t ever unblock by mistake
Now everything makes so much sense!! I felt like a plant that it was slowly dying on the pot because he only water me every once in a while or not at all. Thank you Ben for giving me so much clarity. I left him 2 years ago because of his multiple affairs, secrets and lies but I didn't start to understand the reality of our relationship until recently when a book about narcissism ended up in my hands.
Lol, I felt like a dusty vase on the shelf. I let my feelings for him go. I figured, oh, well!
I totally get it. I was with my narcissist for 18 years before I even heard of the term narcissist. But once I started educating myself and everything started coming together, it only took a couple years afterwards to leave. Originally I just thought of it as a typical DV relationship and thought he was just an abusive person. Oh but if I had known 😢
We are commodities replaceable and interchangeable. They don't care.
Great video 👍 What you're saying is very accurate I was married 32 years He walked out like we did not exist Not even saying goodbye to his sons or me and his animals. He erased us from the planet 😞
😢 I'm in, it still 32 years now. But he's turned my kids into his flying monkeys. Now they all abuse me
@@unomeecjI am so sorry This is a terrible situation for anyone going through this My husband also turn my Sons against me but since we been separated they are seeing him for the monster that he is. No one deserves to go through this.❤️🩹
No, he erased himself not you and your children and pets.
@@sheilayagodzinski5747 Thank you You're so right 👍
Me too it's like a death
There is nothing you can do to get them to honestly & truly regret hurting you or losing you. They will just go find a new supply to put up with their abuse.
New supply born everyday for them. Right!! Some unsuspecting person will always come along like we did.
So true. They use and abuse you then throw you away
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I was told I was worthless many a times. I started to catch on to the piece of projection.
Yes they are, they are cowards, they run away from every day issues, if they can’t deal with it they bury their heads in the sand.. I think that’s one of the main reasons why they discard their partner/spouse.
They won't regret it. They have no empathy. They just blame shift and move on to new target.
You don’t want that. Just keep them away from you.
I got a hoover text after 3 years last night. Something I read on your channel helped me
“Time is not an apology”
Thank you
You dont build any credits with a narc
I felt disgusted not worthless
Worthless vs worth Less. Thank you!!! And saying straight up Nooo they do not care. Thank you for explanations. Keep up ur hard work on ur selfwork too. Hard work facing ourselves. Facing/owning up to how we got in such positions. Strength to all in ur self healing journeys.
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There’s times I find myself thinking he should go through something for doing me so wrong. The years I was with him was so hard and confusing I feel I am now officially crazy. I have no real confidence or know who I am anymore. What I thought and considered to adjust myself for was all lies and unreal.
I wish he’d somehow pay for what he put me through. He should feel what he’s done. I’m exhausted of him lingering in my thoughts that become a waist of my energy and intelligence. I constantly see myself as a loser, and I don’t know how to let myself meet someone new.
I don’t know what’s safe or ok anymore. It’s all wrong everything is all confusing.
We are ONE of MANY suppliers
It took two years of a long process at my escape plan
It took me 2 years as well ❤
Yes that’s how he made me feel worthless. I’ve left him twice because of his lacking, him putting me in positions that felt worthless. 2023 I finally removed broke myself from him but let me tell you it’s been HELL.. and going through this withdrawal because that’s what it feels like (I’m a ex smoker) so I know what a withdraw feels like; if I would have known then what I know now I would have listened to my intuition at age 25 (the beginning of our relationship) and RAN! I’m PO because I spent 27 total (21 yrs married) “years” giving him my Youth, time and energy for me to file for Divorce and he now trying to get his Ex Ex wife back and I still at times cry over him. So Regret?? Your Right Ben they Don’t Regret loosing you as a person they only Regret Controlling you.
The narc is worthless not me
I stated to her many times "I feel worthless". She would dismiss it in a passive aggressive manner
Thank you for your EXCELLENT job of revealing, from a narc’s perspective, their thought process motivations and view point of value, discard, shame, embarrassment and compartmentalization. Narc viewpoints are polar opposite of the targets, as you so accurately point out. I so appreciate your transparency and truthfulness here because it literally proves, through the narcs own actions, there is NOTHING to or left of the “relationship,” if you want it even call it that. Walk away and never look back.100% accurate
Saved to replay.
It's a "relationSHIT".
I think the hardest thing with dealing with a narcissist is when you are taking them to court…I have found that gaining concrete evidence on them needs to be a lot. Videos are the main hard evidence. Records too. It is really hard. They will do anything to get back on top.
I can't believe someone can make you feel soo worthless...they 1st needed you but then they treat you like crap.
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Not even worth worrying about someone who ain't worrying about you and couldn't show that they care properly even if they did. Keep it moving!
They just regret that it might reflect on their standing...
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Pointless to Hurt them for losing you. At a workplace, exposing them is key, in my experience. Its the only thing that can provoque a collapse.
My Worth is so high that for the last year my xnarc has been trying to prove im worthless!!
Take it as a compliment🎉
Then, you can begin the long process of rebuilding your self esteem. Start Now.
They are empathy impaired. Supply is the empathy they were never modelled as an infant. Doesn’t excuse them, but it gives a way forward for understanding and moving on when that is the best course.
Worth-less.........because he was projecting his own worthlessness onto me.....once I saw that I was out
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Regain the Selfhood that you had Before you Encountered Narcs The First Time. Become YOU, again. Nothing could be more important!
Thanks for your videos.
From JANESVILLE, WI
I hope if you are self aware that you do not hurt any more women
Agreed!
Wow, wait till that person (narcissist) has to face Hashem in the court of Heaven. We’re getting close to that day soon, messianic era is here already.
I just wonder in the afterlife are they going to be aware then and feel the regret and all then or are they just going to suffer like the lake of fire or something and that's it???
As I’m planning my married 17 year escape from this now, I sadly hope he figures out how to be self aware too before then but the painful reality and 17 years of asking for that, I know it isn’t gonna happen. Am I wrong to feel narcissists are a plague on humanity? They are wonderful and then they are the worst person you will hopefully ever HAVE known. It’s a second marriage and the first one was also a narcissist. I’m not dumb I don’t think but I’m forever hopeful and empathetic and feel everyone has potential. I’m worried at 55 I’m gonna be a man hater like my mom and be old struggling and bitter! I’ve worked my whole life to not become my mom and feels like some messed up prophecy. AND TRUST ME MY NARC HUSBAND FIGURED THAT OUT AND USES IT TOO! God grant me peace and strength. Any of you guys dealing with the sociopaths out there I’m praying for you too. ✌🏻🙏🏼❤️
Lay it all at Jesus's feet, earnest prayer works. Im 56 and last yr my narc. Decided to have a collapse, after 2 years of me doing the healing journey. I wouldn't let him off the hook for his actions. It will be over a year, but I do have a trial date for my divorce now. God bless and keep you safe.
Thank you ❤
"1. Im a narcissist, welcome to the channel...." 🤣🤣🤣 dayum benny that was good.
They regret “Their” being a victim
I never thought i was something like a toaster for the narcissists...
And I usually burn the toasts... Maybe that's why they discard me 🤔
Mine did it without words, just by being bored with what I had to say would stop listening. He told me men don't want to hear what women have to say this was about something that happened to a friend's of his wife . I talk anyway, its my right , I'm a friendly person. Didn't want to help me when I got sick with a life threatening illness needed a ride to the hospital , he didn't want to drive me there or for me to take an ambulance , then he'd have to come get me. I had to drive myself a couple times. Even though he had a ton of sick time 5 months worth. Was saving it to take care of his mother if she needed it. Until I let him have it for such a callous attitude. He has since retired . My family couldn't take me to the hospital, they had to work and didn't get sick time both of them, my grown children. Talk about worthless, he is.
When I talked he'd just talk over me, ignore me, say he didn't want to hear all that bs no matter what it was about, he'd crank up the music right in the middle of my sentence and other things but it was so painful feeling so unwanted unheard and not being concerned about 😢
Evil people no Empathy
they are hurt wounded from trauma they are in pain and they do have empathy they just lack empathy narcissists and toxic people are human beings at end of day.
@harrisonwallace3498 When you find out you've been cheated on, lied to, gaslit, devalued, degraded and lied to for 40 years. You see them in a very different light. To me, he is evil and unredeemable. I never believed I'd see someone as pure evil, but I've seen pure evil and hatred just from bringing up feeling unloved and disrespected. You're feeling mean nothing to them. They lie like healthy people tell the truth. No remorse and no love.
❤you have gotten better every dsy at teaching and exñlaining. Glmod bless!!
Ben, didn't you regret when she left? I thought you did. And that's why you started working on yourself
I think he talked about feeling relief that he could now go out and do what he wants to do (have affair with the side supply) but I think he regrets what his wife did for him....before he changed, geared, grew and developed.
Healed*
@@KendraMorgan You're lucky
Here's my answer to that czcams.com/video/V5sJ3geh9sk/video.htmlsi=yvmGCjDjJe0x1Lnd
He definitely made me feel like I was Worthless to him.💔
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Once I started focusing on keeping myself sane and happy, by avoiding him and taking on healthy hobbies, the abuse became even worse. He started watching red pill content and calling me all sorts of demeaning names, and starting arguments about how I'm a "low value woman" and that men are "better at everything" and "women need to submit to men". He started threatening to break my stuff and even tried throwing away sentimental items of mine away. He started asking me sadistic questions like when do I think my cats are going to die, and which one do I think is going to die first. Completely sadistic stuff. And he's convinced everyone, even my own family to some degree I think, that I AM the problem. I started recording the escalating tantrums and abuse in case he wants to start spreading lies to my job, or if the people he manipulated start harassing me.
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
He only wants me to come over and clean and organize things.
Other then that, he doesn't care if I'm around or not. I haven't seen him in 2 weeks now.
@@rhondawampner688yes, we are the expendable clean up crew. I was nothing more than a slave
Don't do it anymore
@@dannmurray1199 divorced now. I work for myself now. It's awesome 😎
Thanks!
Thank you for your support!
Thankyou!
Thank you
Can you make a video detailing the ways a Narcissist will outwardly, vs internally change, in detail?
The guy who abused me went back to his ex, and now they have an Instagram perfect couples page..
And are engaged.
Its been over a year now and they both still seem so happy..
Whats up??
These people see women as a check mark on their Things to do list.
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Worth less than him "working on marriage" but definitely worth manipulating and promising to keep me in place to cook, clean, be in the home while he's away, take care of pets that he has also manipulated so that I'm the bad guy as he allows them to do whatever. He actually said "of course I want you to stay to work on the relationship, and to help me." One of the honest statements probably.
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Oh lord I sence this one’s going to hurt ahhhh
Not Anymore.
They don't have regrets unfortunately.
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So why would your wife want to stay with you knowing you don't really love her? I'm so confused.
showing love through actions and real change
@@RawMotivationsYou're in my prayers Ben. Congratulations on your awareness and I hope it continues improving for you and your wife everyday ❤😊
Humiliated and worthless
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Lol they do some what alittle only but then they just harass you
I know about my narcs childhood trauma stories but I just wonder if there's a common theme with certain childhood experiences that contribute to developing NPD? The story of mine was an absent father then growing up with a mother that was emotionally unavailable and she was a sex worker that brought many boyfriends around that were abusive. Now his story is pretty easy to figure out how he developing NPD but what are some other stories?
Another question is although I've gone no contact not very long ago, he doesn't seem to be just replacing me with anyone. Don't get me wrong he's cheated multiple times and I even have physical evidence so I don't understand why there's not another person filling my place yet? He's been staying alone?
The best answer I can think of is that he's going to her and for some reason she's not coming around his place or there's something happening just over the phone right now? Either way I don't care it's just confusing when I hear how they typically do after a "breakup" but his piece isn't fitting into the puzzle? I kinda wish there was another female there already and they'd run off together so he could get as far away from me (the town) as possible. Lmk if you want your narcissists childhood experience or maybe why I'm not seeing a new supply?? I know it isn't because he just cared about me and misses me so much 😅
"Worthless"
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Wait both men and women do this..
Do they feel guilt?
Yes they do on some level they are human beings and any human feels guilt on some level too some degree.
Yes, but how?
Why bother? Just move on with your life and take it as a lesson learned. Get educated.
Worthless, and I told him repeatedly that I felt worthless to him
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Geez this explains y he hoards broken tools n appliances thinking he’ll fix it one day bahhhaaaa im a toaster he’s hoarding as the toaster has more value than me 😊
I’m going through discard after two years of devaluation and all that goes with it………”I think we should plan for separation”, she said, “as I can’t go on like this (ignoring me)”…..”but I really care for you”…………hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…….. funny way to show it
im laughing too 😂😂😂 but warning: i got hoovered back after the 2yr and 4yr discards, we were still “in love”.
now it’s finally over he’s suddenly seeing someone new - 10yrs later. He’s pretending me, the house, the dog and cat don’t exist it’s actually funny 😂 I’m free.
🎯
By your words surely if you are being devalued debased and dehumanised by the malignant narcissist then she puts value in you enough to extract that sadistic pleasure from. The narc does not put every acquaintance they have through this. Can someone tell me why I’m misguided here?
For sure they don’t put everyone through it. Image to uphold
Very good point. She certainly upholds that. A virtue signaller in extremis. I’ll look for other people in the room next time she does this. Anyone else puking on the carpet at the same time will be a ‘chosen one’ too!
Thanks.
Kitty kat 😺🤷🏽♀️ is da Most powerful thing idk 🙂
That's why my narracissits ask for it I understand now the "MIND OF A NARRACISSIT"
Narccossits people are divel people not understan they destroyed someone not understand value of tears emotins alwyes hurting trough his posts his words
What if you're a man going through this from a female with the traits and decades of abuse? Can we also get something out of raw motivations?
If you are changed why do you still identify as a narcissist? Isn't shedding the label a perk of changing the behavior?
Npd is a personality characteristic flaw, they can learn to better help the situation but they can't change their genetic mentality. They don't think and operate like a "normal empathic person"
Very true :) If a liar no longer lies is he still a liar...
Worthless…that’s what I started to believe and then realized No This is Toxic and he is the why. And I told him so BAD IDEA DONT. Trust me LEAVE AND BE THANKFUL IF YOU ESCAPE WITHOUT THE BIGGEST NIGHTMARE YOULL EVER GO THROUGH. ITS TERRIFYING. Ofcourse mine can be physical so working up my escape plan but we’re married so it’s gonna be a terrifying shit show.
BTDT.
Can u please tell us what’s their down side here
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Worthless all the time😢
Then there’s you pulling away from him and he tried to get you back. Stay away
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I believe they regret what they can no longer get from you. I do think they miss certain people in different aspects but they are still the same dysfunctional person so who cares. Lol
Lol! I dont think this is humanly possible
Victim to Victor