r/TIFU By Winning the Lottery
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Podcast: open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8...
Patreon: / rslash
Discord: / discord
0:00 Intro
0:07 Powerball
2:10 Killed the mood
4:56 Overpaid
10:40 Nude beach
13:42 Comment story
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Who else thinks the boss is stealing lunches? Since he’s reluctant to do anything or tell you not to “ bait” the thief
Try that with me, he'd be sorry. He'd be "praying to the porcelain alter"! 😂
It’s actually illegal to “bait” a food thief. Which sounds really weird you can’t do what you want with your own food but it would make the boss and company liable to do anything but discourage doing it.
@@aduckofsomesort Can you point to a legit source saying that you can't bait your own food? I suppose I could understand if it were a matter of medications or poisons, but reddit has had a lot of stories of people using very hot spices, so unpleasant but not poisonous. I could also see using a glitter bomb.
@@thomasmacdiarmid8251 Only laxatives and other drugs are illegal, spices are A-Ok. Also, you've got plausible deniability, just claim you like it that way. Although, you've gotta wonder why it's illegal to put laxatives in your own food _if_ someone steals it...
@thomasmacdiarmid8251 Many jurisdictions consider putting laxatives in food a form of assault since you don't know how strongly other people would react to them. However, nothing stops you from _saying_ there were laxatives in there just to mess with the food thief's head!
Last story: So the boss does nothing about the lunch thief, but warns the employees that any tricks (probably something like spicy food) to try to find the lunch thief could result in legal trouble?
It's the boss, isn't it?
Or someone related to the boss...
If I like spicy food, than I like spicy food. And the red food coloring was just a gimmick.
It is in fact illegal to tamper with your own food to find a lunch thief. The boss and company could be liable if they don’t discourage doing so.
@aduckofsomesort well it won't stand in court at all...
@@aduckofsomesortbut is it really tampering if you make it something you can tolerate eating but no one else could? such as spicy food? this isn't something that can be help up in court, you didnt tamper with anyone elses food, you tampered with your own. not your fault someone else decided to steal and eat your food.
I feel bad for OP's wife in the first story. She went from winning millions of dollars, to losing millions of dollars in a matter of a few minutes.
for the low low price of one powerball ticket you too can experience what investing in crypto feels like
also: im trying to be funny not talking from experience here
@vhaelen326 You know that makes us suspect you _more_ when you say it like that, right? 😆
At least they didn't actually win the lottery. I would only wish that upon the worst of my enemies.
You can't lose money you never had
@@franciscolaurean8550you can in your mind
That wife in the poop story is an absolute keeper. Shame the honeymoon had such a 'shitty' incident.
That Wynonna story was a bit WILD, like I didn’t think it could get worse but she’s really out here taking selfies with corpses. That’s a boner killer for sure.
She should be fired for that because it's disrespectful
It definitely rattles bones more then anything.
@@gryphonsong4082nice 😂
Best way to deal with a food Thief is to make a chocolate cupcake with heavy laxatives and on the Note say do not eat, for medical purposes only. That way if they get upset and try to go to HR you can explain that you've been constipated lately and was just going to eat that to help.
Do not stick the note to it though, leave it in the same bag but flipped so the thief don't see what it says and trick them it might just be a random paper.
Little did the thief know....... 🤡
NEVER use laxatives because you could get in serious legal trouble for booby-trapping, you may think you can argue against it but it's a losing game because everyone knows what you were trying to do if you suddenly make laxative cupcakes when there's a food theif. The trick is actually to use heavy amounts of the healthier sugar substitute Maltitol (comes in syrup or powder) which in large doses produces the same effect as laxatives.
Using maltitol makes you immune from any repercussions because it is a commonly used baking ingredient and your body can get used to it over time.
So you can argue you wanted to cut sugar out of your diet so you substituted it for maltitol, but you use more a lot because you already got use to it's effects and don't notice them anymore.
I went into this video not expecting Rslash to encourage arson over a stolen cupcake, but the universe loves to prove me wrong.😅
Hey u think it's justified
to be fair, there was more to it than that
the real issue was the workplace refusing to do anything about it
$5 says its one of the managers or an HR person
someone who can easily filter these complaints
I'd forgive arson if it was over stolen lunch
People have taken a life for less bruh!
Hey, the food thief was arson* around first.
*arsing
I was raised in a little logging town in the Pacific Northwest where most of the residents were from Scandinavia or Finland. There were multiple steam baths in my area that catered to workers and their families. I went to the steam baths with my father and brothers, and my uncles. The baths were of course, nude. It was no big deal. The only restriction was that the men and women sides were completely separate from each other. It was a very normal thing for families to do- especially in winter time when it was so cold and miserable.
As a Finn in my 30s, I still go to sauna with both my parents (naked, of course) and it's totally normal. To me it's just a bath. Although not everyone thinks like that in Finland, people don't usually judge nudity like in most countries.
When I go to the swim center, there are only 2 stalls and a bunch of locker areas that are secluded from the entrance, but still open. Anyone can walk in and see you changing, but nobody does. Do people walk around naked? Yes. Is anyone embarrassed or does anyone care? No.
Another Finn here. My family used to all sit in the sauna together when I was a child. Now us children are adults and it's a bit crowded with the whole family, so we make groups. To me, nudity isn't sexual when bathing is involved. It's easier to clean yourself if there is no bathing suit in the way.
The fact that you can get in trouble for trying to catch a lunch thief is absolutely absurd.
How is it not a crime to literally steal people's food that they paid for? It actually would end up amounting to a lot of stolen property if they did it every day, and it's just so f*cking rude and immature. Imagine being the "victim" in such a case... the jury would hate you, and so would everyone in the courtroom
I think rslash was making the point that it's a crime to intentionally poison someone. Putting a laxitive in, for example, would be a crime in some parts of the world.
Luckily I don't have to deal with it where I work, but if I did I'm pretty sure I could go the route of just making my meal extra spicy.
@@NemoracStreborbout to start training my body to take extra spicy foods just so I can say I wasn’t trying to poison them, it’s just how I like my lunch
I've been a pastor for about 30 years now. Besides Sunday responsibilities, I also marry and bury people. I absolutely despise about 90% of weddings (bridezilla!). Funerals, however are nearly always simple. Grandpa died, he was old, had a long life, some of it was difficult, some of it was joyful, everyone cries, we eat fried chicken, and go home. Over my 30 years, I have ridden in more funeral limousines than you care to know about. This is my experience with morticians/funeral directors: they are some of the funniest people on Earth! I can recount at least half a dozen times where I was sitting in the front of the limo with the funeral director driving from either the funeral home or the church to the cemetery, where we got to telling stories and when we pulled up to the grave, we both had to sit in the car for a couple of long moments before exiting the vehicle because we were laughing so hard. (By the way, I'm sure the person in the back also enjoyed the stories...one final laugh.)
I have a good friend who’s a mortician , and he’s hilarious! I can shoot the breeze with him for hours, and have! 😂
@jamiesuejeffery, first of all, modern weddings are unnecessary, second, YAHWEH EL ELOHIM is the only Being that can properly define marriage, as He invented the concept, and third, people need to be raised to think about each other, rather than themselves, whenever it comes to marriage, as that is a lost concept of modern society, and it also has been so for centuries.
@@paxhumana2015 I did say I hate doing weddings, right?
Pretty sure taking and showing others pictures of people once they're dead is totally illegal for your own use, though - and publicising them on a website even more so. Apart from the effect on the families.
@@wessexdruid7598 I have no way of commenting on that. I do know that with the many funerals I have officiated, many pictures of the deceased are taken by family and friends. What they do with them, I have no idea. All I know is that I comfort the family and plant them in the ground. I have many really funny stories about funerals, but we'll save that for a later day.
when I saw the title of this video I was certain we'd get a "curse of the lottery" story. You know the ones, where a lottery winner loses everything to parasitic friends and family members or irresponsible purchases or something.
Me too. This was even better.
Here I am thinking oh HE is the one who won MY $Billion prize 😂
What would you do if you won the lottery? /gen
Yes those lottery stories always make me double check. If anyone were to ever win the lottery is to be anonymous as possible. If you live in any states that allows anonymity, great. If not, you would have to go no contact and be wise with that money.
I have known one person who won big, shortly after the Florida Lotto was started in the late 1980s. She was a poor woman going to VoTech school to learn a profession, her hubby worked as a theater usher, and they had a baby on the way. If anybody needed that money, they did. First thing they did, was get away from home for a couple weeks, til the flurry died down, to avoid family, friends and charities asking for handouts.
Stealing lunches is not a trivial thing. I've worked at places that DO NOT pay anything close to a living wage and the workers there have to bring in lunch because no one but the big guys can afford to go out to eat. At the last job like that, i think it was the office manager who was the lunch thief because i recall taking to a coworker about the most recent theft when he was walking by. I distinctly recall saying they don't pay enough for that kind of crap and whoever it was, was a dbag for doing that, busy as he was walking by. He already had a crap attitude before overhearing me but he turned into a downright d*ck after. I left that job not too long afterwards. The worst part of it was the lady brought in a sealed can of tuna that had to be opened up and the thief had the time to do it. None of the workers had that kind of time outside their lunch hours, but dbag certainly did. Open the can, eat the tuna straight out of the can and put it back in her lunchbox. A-hole.
And it can really suck if the employee is diabetic or with some other serious dietary restrictions, and needs the special meal he/she had prepared. You betcha I'd be taking action against that thief! He/she would be suffering and clearly marked for all to see! I am Type 2 Diabetic, and take my meals seriously. 😡
@@lancerevell5979 Being considerate goes a long way...
@@luvdaroc , if a lunch thief is not considerate towards other people, then they deserve a hostile response for their lack of consideration of other people in this world...you get what you give.
@@paxhumana2015 Energy mirroring all day, all the way!
A sandwich getting stolen yeah that sucks but, stealing the cupcake... that's crossing a line.
I know it was the least "exciting" story but I feel bad for carwash guy... partly because that sounds like something I would do lol.
... This exact scenario happened with my father, back when I was young adult. I tried to tell him, but he brushed me off every time... I don't think he ever realized how much money he lost...
Rslash condoning arson over missing lunch is the best thing ive heard in a while
RE: Mortuary Cosmetologist.
Wow, this one was eye-opening. If I was dating a girl who took selfies with corpses, I would probably break it off too... UNLESS she put them in funny hats first, in which case I'd marry that girl. I've never had cause to think about this before, but now that I have, I've discovered I can set some pretty weird boundaries, lol. Maybe it's not that weird, a little whimsy to offset the morbidity... it makes sense to me. But yeah, no hats, no dice.
Its kind of the fact she didn’t tell him it was going to be dead people in the photos before showing him.
Last story, I am sceptical the coworkers think that. But I totally get crying when you are hungry and no food being there. My guess is the boss is the thief.
I was about to say "at least you made it to the bathroom" before I saw OP popped the bed. That's probably worse than any accidents I've ever made.
Dude missed out. Morticians, EMTs or anybody that handles dead bodies regularly are absolutely INSANE in bed
Are you speaking from experience?
He missed a good one there, I say lol
I'm just thinking of the B99 joke
Oh, yeah, they get free practice.
Honestly, my best experience yet was with a male nurse. This dude was so careful and knew what he was doing exactly it was WILD.
*First OP:* I _also_ thought OP's wife was going to run off with the winnings leaving OP in the dust. I don't blame OP's wife for not wanting to go back to that store, lol
*Last OP:* Did anyone else think "MY SANDWICH (CUPCAKE)?!" during the story? Just me? I'd get emotional, too.
Fellow The Kane Trilogy fan? Yes?
The scene just played in my head! It was so great!
From Friends, when Ross’s boss eats his Thanksgiving sandwich? That’s what I thought of. 😃
@@melissaconnellyjones2622That's the one!
Food thief story.... Screw the threat of "legal action", I would absolutely be taking action against the food thief. Some super hot peppers, combined with bright green or purple food coloring..... make that thief suffer and be clearly marked for all to see! I'd already have a new job lined up if necessary. 😡
You know, altering food can be illegal if you know it gets stolen.
+ if the thief doesn't take your food, would you eat it yourself or go hungry/order. If the latter, what's even the point if you still can't eat your food.
Instead, just put a little bit of almond extract. Enough to give it a noticeable almond smell and flavor. And then when it's eaten stand up and remind everyone in the office that cyanide tastes like almonds. You didn't poison him, but he's going to be panicking.
When I was in high school, my school sometimes offered these butterfly muffins with buttercream and sprinkles. I loved them but as I was on free school meals, I got a very small about of lunch money and couldn't usually afford them. One week was really rough so I decided to treat myself and get one of the muffins. To afford it I couldn't get a mid morning snack and had to settle for the really small and nasty sandwiches and no drink but it was worth it! I get my lunch and go outside, eat my sandwich and just as I'm raising my hard won muffin to my mouth, a seagull decides to use it as a toilet. I am still devastated. Never deprive a man of his cake
Story 4: Man, imagine having your whole vacation go from beautiful and dreamy to a nightmare just because of something you ate. I would vanish from existence out of embarrassment if that was me
I would rather direct all the embarrassment and anger towards the restaurant to seek compensation. Both of em getting the runs indicates that it's food poisoning. There is very little chance that both of them just happened to be sensitive to the same food to such an explosive degree...
One thing I will NEVER understand: Why is it when someone gets their lunch stolen, it's the one who had it stolen that is seen in a negative light? Like, they didnt do anything, someone stole their lunch, yet people give them the grief when they get upset or catch the actual bastard thief in the act later.
And if said thief gets a bad reaction from it being spicy or they might be allergic to what the food is? Suddenly everyone accuses the person who had their lunch stolen of trying to poison the thief. Something that would never happen if, again, the bastard thief didnt steal from people in the first place.
So why is it the person who had their lunch stolen that is seen as the bad guy?
Exactly! I'd absolutely make the thief regret it.... painfully.
Because...
A: Most lunch thieves are higher ups who don't care for employees, they steal cause: "if they complain I'll just fire them. They can't sue me."
B: Ironically lunch thiefdom does fall in a strange legal area of : "It is company's responsiblity that all workers do not let other workers ingest possible allergic substances."
I am not an expert on this, but basically put.. the company has to make SURE that any substances that could harm employees even other's food does end up in the hands of a possible victim. This is why Lunch thieves kinda get away with their stuff and the one stolen from is in trouble.. but in reality.. THE COMPANY IS RESPONSIBLE! So when you counteract like this, the company can file you for malicious poisoning just to shirk responsiblity onto you.
C: Due to B: Anything left behind by workers will always be the company's responsability.... So sorta indirectly it becomes "Company Goods" to some weird extend. (Don't quote me)
If you put food away in a fridge and someone else eats it on accident.. the company will say: "Well it was in the company so it could been seen as company goods for anyone"
A stupid protection for Lunch Thieves.
D: Eaten food leaves no evidence...unless you poison it... but if you do.. don't admit it's your lunch, just play ignorant and go: "Company goods"
Anyway... it's kinda stupid if you think about it...since company's are responsible for workers (and we know they don't care really unless a lawsuit comes from it)... Thus Lunch thieves go free while if you dare to make it spicy to a violent reaction even though you can take it... it was the COMPANY'S RESPONSIBILITY to make sure the FOOD THIEF didn't ingest that!
As the company TECHNICALLY needs to know what all goes in and outside their building.
So they RATHER punish someone who poisons a lunch thief, cause they left a TRAIL for them to move the blame away from themselves but to you "The poisoner"
But not punish the lunch thief because... stolen lunches is hard to proof and "it's the workers responsiblity to take care of their own stuff as it can be seen as "COMPANY GOODS"
Infact this is how some valuable stuff can get stolen too by your co-workers/higher-ups.
As long as you do not have a deed or way to idenitfy it to you, it has a chance of being stolen.
No one steals eachother's car cause that's easy to prove...
But your expensive watch? How...? Your laptop? How...? It could been all seen as "Company goods" and thus anyone can take it and use it.
I see it as an extension of the attitude schools take about bullying: They turn a blind eye to the bully, but if the victim fights back then THEY are the problem. 🙄
From my understanding one of the main reasons different cultures view being naked differently is how sexual they view the body. Here in America, since we don't have too many nude or topless beaches the few times you do see someone naked it's likely been during sex. Which is why we'd be super weirded out seeing our family members naked because she sure as hell don't want to have sex with them! We see the normally clothed parts of the human body as purely sexual.
Whereas in certain places in Europe the body is seen more of just that: a body and sex is the actual sexual part of it. If you grow up around naked saunas or nude beaches the body becomes a lot less taboo and people are more comfortable with it.
That being said, i am very much a product of my American culture and would definitely not feel comfortable with it. Cultures are just different.
There's a spa nearby and I am dying to go, regardless of whether it's nude or not, but am slightly too broke. I'd definitely feel uncomfortable myself because I'm trans, but I know other family members would also be uncomfortable. It isn't necessarily about how you view your own/others bodies, more to do with how often you go to those places. Kind of like if you wear glasses and go out without them on, it feels weird, almost naked. Not because eyes are a sexual thing, but because you're used to the feeling of something there that isn't anymore
@@justaperson4656 I wear glasses and I don't think that's accurate. If I took my glasses off people would feel strange, yes, but not in a omg I'm so embarrassed to see you like that sort of way. If someone got naked in front of someone else who didn't want to have sex with them it's 100% considered sexual assault or at minimum indecent exposure. It would likely ruin your social standing with those you know, maybe risk your job or even jail time. American society's feelings on nakedness is nothing like when I take my glasses off in front of people.
@@justaperson4656 On an entirely different note, I hope that one day you'll feel comfortable enough/be in a financial position to do the things you want to do! I'm sorry you haven't been able to do that yet.
@@sarahcb3142 oh I meant how you would feel weird about yourself, not how others would see you, but I can totally see what you're saying! I don't fully get the indecent exposure comparison though, since it's a rule in bathhouses, saunas, and the like to be naked
@@justaperson4656 Good point. The legal thing wouldn't apply in those cases. I just meant as a general way of how Americans react to nudity. Like people view it as immoral and illegal even if it the intent was never sexual.
But yeah for me my bigger concern is how people would view me. But I also have some pretty extreme social anxiety so maybe I'm not a good benchmark lol
Last story: I know many people have come up with the idea of using laxatives in food, but I suggest a different approach. When I stayed at a hostel for a longer period of time and faced food thieves, I decided to add locks to my food boxes. This hurts no one other than the thieves' egoes. And when they brought up that health inspectors need to have access to all the food in the fridge, I just said "call me and I'll open the box in front of them, or throw the entire box in the garbage with all its contents if I'm not there, I'll just buy another one". 2 $5 locks and a couple holes on my box was enough to dissuade the food thieves from stealing from me.
Last story: I worked in an office setting in my 20s. Back then, my budget was so incredibly, depressingly tight. I never told anyone there, but I suspect they had a guess due to how absolutely elated I'd get when the boss would bring in a big batch of breakfast burritos from a local joint he liked, or decided he wanted lunch from X and treated us to delivery from there. If someone had ever stolen my lunch, I would have 100% broke down crying because unless someone stepped up to help me, that lunch was _ALL_ I'd have until my portion of whatever meal I had carefully planned for that night.
I know some lunch thieves also suffer from food scarcity. But most of the time, they're not. I would be absolutely livid if I saw coworkers laughing at someone that was crying because their lunch had been stolen. Like, where's y'all's hearts at? Also, tons of hate for OP's boss in this situation. If the employees aren't allowed to do anything, then it's up to you as the boss to figure out how to handle it because someone is STEALING FROM YOUR EMPLOYEES.
Other commenters have guessed that the boss was the lunch thief, which fits with his behavior. That makes him doubly an a-hole douchebag. 🤬
Last story: i would bet money it's 1 of the bosses stealing lunches.why else would they make a rule against lacing the food.
On the last one, I think it was the boss eating the lunches.
As a Finn I am laughing at the poor guy who had to go to the nude beach. Sauna culture has made me WAY too comfortable with nudity
😂
I am from Austria, currently living in Finland and I thought exactly the same 😂
laughs in german
@@voodoovixen666 , I find nudists to be hypocritical and narcissistic in their lives.
Same. Rslash being confused about the family going to a nude resort made me laugh. I've had family sauna nights when I lived with my parents. We just relax and joke around.
as someone living in Japan lmao yeah, totally not weird. My mum came to visit me here and we went to every onsen we could together. It was great.
For the one about the mortician; that is actually part of their job. Corpses normally look gross, so when you see a body at a wake, it has actually had makeup applied to it. A lot of it.
Last story:
Make a spicy dish, with peanut.
Either the spice or the nuts Will often tell who the culprit are.
Maby it is the boss, since they don't want any "funny meals".
(In regards to the last story), This is how workplace violence starts.
OMG I have now listened to the honeymoon story 5 times and I am in tears from laughing so hard. My husband came to ask what was so funny but I couldn’t breathe so watched it again so he could have a listen, then a daughter of mine wanted to know, watched it again! A neighbor heard us from outside laughing like hyenas and we listened to it again, then she text her husband to come over to watch it!
I was crying with laughter the first time; now my sides hurt. It is just an, “ awful but yet what are ya gonna do!”, situation.
I can also only imagine if she got pregnant on this honeymoon… ohh the story would never die and become legend in the family. 😂😂😂
The trick to catching the lunch thief without breaking the law and without the help of your boss is to make the spiciest food you can handle and disguise it as something less spicy.
When you're confronted about the spice just casually take a bite and say "this is how I like it, this was for me."
With the lunch thief, booby trap the lunch, or put UV marker on the container, then check everyone after it's stolen.
AGREED! Mark them so everyone sees! If it's the boss, doom on him/her! 😎👍
Why do I have a feeling that the boss is the lunch thief? The boss doesn't do anything about it and warned others to not use any method to catch the thief.
Looks like they learned the hard way why you should ALWAYS have a bit of medication with you or nearby
The car wash story: I tipped the waiters at the resort hotel restaurant every evening for the week until I noticed that tips were included into the receipt.
Last one - OP should tell those people at work that the cup cake had been made by a family friend the day before, and they got killed in a car accident. Dont need to say any name, or anything. That way, it will then make the person that stole it feel even worse, and the other workers hang their head in shame when they learn they just mocked OP for bursting out crying like that.
This would work, but there is also the possibility that the thief does not care.
You'd freak the thief out even more if you say that you've been having constipation issues and that cupcake had _laxatives_ in it.
Well...OP with IBS learned a VERY valuable lesson about getting older
never trust a fart
As someone who gas severe IBD I felt that honeymoon story in my soul
“Those are the poops where you need maximum traction”
I am in TEARS, that’s such a hell of a description and I’m DYING
Last story: Next time, OP should make a cupcake with a bit of Miralax. Then when the thief shits their brains out and tries to blame them, OP just simply says, "How do you know it was my cupcake?".
Basically the best defense, but the company will do EVERYTHING it can to pin it on OP and then has to run a lunch policy or ban lunches to avoid a big lawsuit.
If anything.. Lunch thieves techincally always win in the end.
Either they get a free lunch...
Or they get laxatives/super spicy food of being poisoned, thus having one terrible day/week of going to the bathroom, but can now SUE the company for allowing it to happen.
Why do you think most lunch thieves keep going even after being caught and the staff mostly being punished after such an occurance?
Last story: i cried over dropping a cup of water at work. All i had to do was grab a mop and make another cup of water but instead i just sobbed and had to go into the office while my manager cleaned it up and came to comfort me. I have no idea why it made me cry so hard but i was sobbing for about 20 minutes. Youre not the only one, OP. Its okay to cry, shit happens
Ghost pepper sauce on EVERYTHING. It's edible so, no assault charges since you can eat what you want at work.
Oh, my god, I'm not alone with the whole "family are nudist " thing! My parents are (Not at home, they have a RV at a lake with other people) and they've offered for me to visit like my siblings had but I'm extremely introverted and I've always felt terrible saying no cause I know my high-strung ass would have a nuclear panic attack being there. I can't even change shirts, with bra on, in front of my ma/sister. I'm awkward enough with clothes, subtract them and who knows how bad it would be 😆
Was anyone else thinking that the nude beach story was gonna end with OP being too "excited?" 😏
Exactly what I was thinking
Lol I am German and that never happens. Nudist beaches and saunas are a hormon - free zone. Intercourse is never mentioned.
I sub to this channel because of the positive. Notice how it overcomes in virtually every story. When we get to the end of a story that’s negative, the sunlight of our collective attention and respect converts it and teaches us all.
Story 2: I’m in mortuary school to become a funeral director and I’ve worked in the funeral industry for years. One of the first things they teach you in the required ethics course is confidentiality. At least where I’m from, breaching confidentiality by photographing and sharing images of the deceased without permission from the family is a huge liability. I could get my license revoked if I did what this woman did. Not only is it a legal and contractual matter but it’s also wildly disrespectful. If I was in that situation I would be contacting her employer and the governing bereavement board in your state/province. This is not ok!
I’d just start putting stuff in my food and if my boss tried to confront me on it say “No I didn’t.” Because the only way he could challenge that was by either admitting HE ate it, or by trying say it was anonymous complaint, at which you could just point out how they’re trusting the word of someone who is admitting to stealing from co-workers.
Bring back r/storiesaboutkevin
He said they get posted too infrequently
Which is werid considering how many dumb people there are in the world. Probly cuz theres more mean and selfish people...sad.
Starting with you
The sub has really degraded in quality, I wouldn't recommend it.
I vote
Mortuary makeup story: I guess the only thing OP can do now is... Ghost her
Each day, at 3PMy there is a new Video. Esch day, at 3PM, my day is being sweetened up, off to a new r/TIFU
Same for me, but 11pm here. 😁
To find the food thief, just start putting heavy food gel dye in your food. Hopefully it’ll dye their mouth and hands a deep colour and it’ll be hard to wash off. It also won’t harm the thief in any way. Then you can start reporting them once you see their stained face.
Final story: if management is warning against adulterating the food in order to catch the thief, management is in on it.
Yeah, i thought the same
Being nude is natural. I do not find seeing people naked weird at all, strangers or family. I guess it is a mindset you have to be in?
Yup.
Nudity is fine as long as everyone is around you is consenting to the nudity. Stuff like that when it involves private areas of the body. You don't know what someone's trauma is around that. And it never hurts to make sure everybody is on board with the nudity. But clearly at a nudity beach everybody's on board with it. We have a family in our neighborhood. It's a pretty rural community. They're always naked and they think they have the right to force their nudity on other people and they don't. They came to my door to ask to borrow something completely naked. I told him to get off my property. Don't ever show up naked again. Go put some clothes on even some underwear and I'll lend you what you need but don't come to my door naked. I don't need to see your dick.
Yeah, it's I feel like it's not a big deal.
Yeah, people's response to seeing naked people is very heavily a cultural thing, and to do w the way you're raised.
Hold up. Did rslash just condone arson over a cupcake!??
Hey, I'd go scorched earth if people screwed with my food.
Okay, that's an exaggeration, but the point is I won't let it pass
About the nude resort, that really isn't that weird. There are wellness spas with (herbal) baths and saunas where I live. In those places, the only areas where you are clothed (in a bathrobe) is the restaurant, indoor lounge area and the entrance halls before the changing rooms.
I sometimes go to one with my siblings. This started only a few years ago and we're all adults in our 30's. One of my siblings had gone before we started going together and gave us a vague idea of what to expect. First time we went, it was a 1 minute 'oh, everyone's naked' moment, followed by 'almost everyone's in their fifties or older'. After that we brushed it off and enjoyed the spa day. The facilities we have gone to are fenced off, private and surrounded by nature. We're currently trying to get mom to join us sometime. It's like going to the swimming pool, only there are no swimsuits, no kids, no screaming, no overwhelming chlorine scent and no cheap fried snacks. Hanky panky and most forms of PDA are prohibited in those places and everyone is always polite.
Oh my god that diatribe about the naked poop sweating literally made me laugh out loud. Sadly, I know the pain all too well lol
About the nude beach story. I grew up with a mother who would (on occasion) walk around naked. Whenever I asked why, the answer was always a variation of "It's my house", "I'm just grabbing some clothes", or "don't worry about it". I got used to it and actually made a joke recently that made her second guess whether she did it to often.
She mentioned something about her ex-boyfriend. A guy she one she dated for 2,5 years (my parents have been devorsed for close to a decade). My joke was something along the lines of "I've probably seen you naked more often than your ex ever did". Her face was priceless. While mine just reflected "What? You know I'm right!".
I was really scared for OP and his wife in the first story, I thought they were robbed, or she was taken, or she left with the ticket. It's a fun story, but also I feel bad for her. Still, a really good person by telling him the news instead of running off or saying it didn't win when it did.
Murder, Arson, War Crimes over a stolen Cupcake makes 1000000x more sense than many actual reasons those things have happened in reality.
Last story: where is that IT guy who had his cupcakes stolen at? That was a funny prorevenge story
I would flip my shit if anybody touched my food without permission. OP's workplace sounds toxic for not only ignoring the food thief but making fun of OP for having one of the most normal reactions to that situation. I'd say prepare the most wonderful lunch and put something insanely spicy/bitter/sour in (which cannot get you in legal trouble btw) and wait. If all else fails put laxatives in and say you sometimes take them with your food. Also, sounds like it might be the boss stealing the food.
While it may sound stupid to be illegal to do what you want with your own lunch, it really is illegal to try and bait a lunch thief.
No one can prove it in court. What if i have stool passing problems, i can't even have laxative in MY meals because someone else could potentially eat it? What about peanuts then, i can't have it in MY tuna salad because someone could just happen to be allergic? That's bs, and no court would be able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that i have rigged my launch against someone specific, unless i put like industrial chemicals or razor blades in it or something...
I would secretly try to get used to very hot seasoning.
And then BOOOOM!
Or i would hide a condom filled with just enough mayonaise that it looks like it was used in my sandwich...🤣
Oooopsi...
You: I won the lottery!
Family members you didn't know you had: WE won the lottery.
“Maximum traction” loving your tactical poop advice rslash
If someone stole my cupcake the next day the cupcake in the work fridge would contain a strong laxative
"we got back to the room and I immediately stripped naked and went to the bathroom"
My brain visualized Jim Carrey from Bruce Almighty just taking all of his clothes off with one arm motion downward
I think it's ridiculous that in these food thief stories that the company is not willing to do more to catch the person. All your employees are annoyed because they don't have their food and, honestly, I wouldn't want a thief working for me. It's not too expensive to buy a camera to catch the culprit.
You are the only Reddit reader that I listen to the commentary after the story. That’s because you are so fabulous and funny!
My family have always been very open, my dad walks around the house naked, and none of our doors have locks, we walk into each other's spaces whenever. I am perfectly comfortable with being naked around my family (mum, dad, sister) and I often forget that it isn't normal for other families. I'm happy I was raised this way, as I have a lot of body issues, and I think being able to be naked and comfortable around others, and seeing that other people have bodies just as flawed as mine, normal and natural, has helped me a lot.
Funny how in the 3rd story (paying for the carwash twice) the OP said "I'd always wondered how the gas station ensured people actually bought the car wash. Like, what was stopping someone from just clicking 'yes', getting cheaper gas and then leaving without buying a wash?" and finding out it's because you bought the wash when you bought the gas. That's how they ensure it. My question is how did OP not notice being charged an extra 10 dollars for gas?
My mom was a massage therapist who specialized in colonics... I have long since been desensitized to weird dinner conversations.
Man I’ve been wathcing this channel for 4 years it’s so crazy how far you’ve come come you first started much love r slash
I would rage about that f-ing cupcake to anyone stupid enough to mock me. Plus I would totally find a lawyer to scare the company into doing something. I had my food stolen once and EVERYONE got to hear about it until the guy fessed up and bought me a lunch. I was far to poor to be missing a meal, and I was livid.
My husband once worked at a place with a lunch thief problem. No repercussions even when he caught them in the act. He started bringing his lunch on a lockbox.
OMG the poop story had me dying laughing, mostly because when my, now husband, and I were first dating (after years of being just friends) we had just had a great session of passionate hugging, still a little drunk. He was laying on my bed giggling. I asked him, "What are you doing?" Between giggles, he replied "shitting the bed" WHILE ripping a massive fart! We both started cracking up laughing. It was ridiculous and random and hilarious!
Note: he didn't actually shit the bed. Lol
OP, introduce lockbox lunches. Hell, invest and provide some for coworkers. Then wait for your lunch thief boss to try and outlaw them.
I wouldn’t blame someone for crying over stolen lunch. There’s something so weirdly demeaning and insulting about it, and if you’re already hangry, yeah, reactions can get extra.
Rslash, I was on my 25th wedding anniversary for twelve days and I didn’t have an opportunity to listen to you, ya know, celebrating everyday. I’m home now and catching up everyday, all day. You’re so funny reading these stories.
Story 3: Well, now you know, OP. Hope you don't get haunted too much by this, because I probably would've made the same mistake too
I just wanna add that people have literally gone to hospital over stealing and/or messing with my lunch. Never mess with a fellow employee's lunch. You're literally stealing their pay cheque from their bellies and no one wants to work hungry. 'specially AFTER having been looking forward to a good meal after a long morning or early part of their shift.
The sweat slip n slide on the toilet comment killed me dead 😂 You're a murderer Davne 😂
The second story is perfect for the first day of October.
Last story: at this point it doesn't matter what legal troubles there may be. Get lots and lots of carolina reaper peppers or laxatives and get creative.
One person made spicy curry, which isn't that dangerous, and they ended up catching the food thief because the thief couldn't handle it. He tried to twist it as it being poisoned, but OP brought some to HR and proved that it was just spicy and OP loved spicy food.
So yeah, if you're dealing with a food thief, just bring some regular spicy food. No real harm is done, and hopefully the thief learns
And include bright food coloring. Hard for the thief to hide bright green or purple mouth! 😂
OP with the lunch thief is not in the wrong. They're clearly in a toxic work environment. Where theres smoke.... Anyway, there is a THIEF in the staff, and management doesn't care. Thats all the red flag I'd need to find another job.
I'm in the "it's the manager" camp.
So about the nude beach story. My dad goes to a nude resort all the time. The first year I didn't know where he was going, but only that he was never around on weekends to do things. I was mid 20s at the time and lived nearby. After halfway through the summer I was like "Ok dad what's up? we normally go camping, canoeing, running, SOMETHING at least once a month when the weather's nice" and he sheepishly tried to avoid the topic and just said he was going to his resort. I asked if I could come. To which told me it was a nude place. Not gonna lie, that shocked me a little bit. I took about a day to then tell him that I'm in, so long as we can go boating or something there. First night me and my stepmom went just the two of us on Friday, to see if I could handle it. Dad drove down Saturday. This allowed us also to have two cars in case I needed to bail. It was great. I loved it. After the first night it was normal. I typically wore a UV protecting sun top as I'm pale as can be. (I got none of my dad's melanin genes and all my mom's so-white-we're-clear genes). Swimming without a swimsuit, best thing ever. It was a swanky resort, and I had to sign an NDA. There were so many local famous people I really wish i could talk about. But all in all, i had a great time. It was like any other camping trip, just naked.
I showed a friend who's a professional mortician this video and she said story #2 is likely fake. Morgues don't hire cosmetologists, you need an embalming license to do makeup and hair on dead bodies, also taking before and after photos is NEVER supposed to happen. It's a big no-no.
The final story instantly gave me 'MY? SANDWICH?' vibes.
Lunch stealing story: time for everyone to either lace their food so it’s impossible to fire everyone at once OR everyone buys a lunchbox that has a lock/combination on it to make it harder for the lunch thief to steal.
If you have a lunch thief, just get food dye that makes your pee come out red.
Nude beach story: I recently learned in psychology class that this type of anxiety is called "imaginary audience".
Based on what I’ve seen and heard, morticians can have a… _very_ unique personality.
Story 2: I’ve heard this about morticians and other death professionals on multiple occasions 😂😂😂 they can only date each other!
Yo the guy in the second story I know how he felt. I once met a girl on deployment she was super cute and so I started talking to her to see if I wanted to get to know her better to become friends or more. I quickly found out her job was something to do with work with the army equivalent of a mortuary (this was some time ago so I don’t remember exactly what her exact job was) and her favorite part of the job was cleaning up bomb victims because she got to see all the insides of a person and mess around with them!!! I couldn’t get out of that conversion fast enough. Everyone else all had the same wtf look on there faces
I mean, you were surely interested in exploring her 'insides', she just happened to share the 'same' interest for your 'insides' lmao!
This is regarding the last story. It reminds me of that one episode of friends when Ross has his sandwich stolen from the fridge at work, and he has an absolute meltdown when he finds out it was non other than his boss.
Hey Rslash thank you so much for posting I listen while gaming your voice is really smooth have a good day
For the "Lunch Thief" story...easiest way to actually get them to do something is to be of some medical state where calorie or carb counting accuracy is important. Otherwise, the company in its inaction would be committing willful negligence and accessory to negligent homicide.
As a Type 1 Diabetic, one of the worst parts is not being able to partake in "potluck" lunches because of not knowing the carb counts of the dishes brought in. If it is way more than though (since everyone makes things differently) I could end up with ketoacidosis; if it's way less, I could end up in a Diabetic Coma...but I guess that company doesn't care about that liability.
The morgue stylist posing with the before and after photos reminds me of the Grant Gustin meme throwing up deuces over a grave 😂