r/AmITheA**hole I Just Found Out I Have an 19-Year-Old Daughter
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 15. 03. 2021
- r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP finds out that he has an adult daughter from an old relationship with his ex-girlfriend. The ex-girlfriend recently passed away, so the daughter sought out OP to try to build a relationship with him. But here's the catch: the ex told the daughter that OP abandoned her, when in reality OP had no idea that the ex was even pregnant. The ex lied to OP! After OP told his daughter the truth, the ex's family is upset that the dead mother is revealed to be a liar. Is OP the butthole in this situation?
đ r/AmITheA**hole For Firing My Spoiled Son After He Stole From My Company? âą r/AmITheA**hole For Fi...
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"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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Thanks for all the kind words regarding my grandma.
Some people have said they're worried about me. I'm doing OK! It's just the story about the good luck rock made me sad, because I really empathized with OP's grief.
â€â€â€
My condolences on the loss of your grandmother
â€â€â€â€
Iâm glad youâre okay
I'm really that you're okay! Your grandmother seemed like an amazing person
To anyone wondering about the rock story: he did, in fact, find the rock again. It took two days and his friends volunteered to help find it.
The dumbass 'friend' is being kept at arms length.
Thank you for the update!!!!!
Provided that 'arm' is the length of a yardarm. I've cut people out of my life entirely for such things: delete contact info, block on social media, etc.
@Ball-Jointed -Dragon
That's fantastic news.
I can only imagine 5 or 6 people crawling around at the side of the road looking for a specific rock.
I thank you for that update. That makes me feel better. Hope OP feels better too. That friend is not a real friend because of the disrespect....
Good
Pro tip: If you don't lie about speaking a language, you don't ever risk being called out for it
I don't put French on my resume, since I don't have a good solid working knowledge of the language. But when a Haitian patient comes to the hospital clinic, I say a few phrase to get them comfortable, eg "Comment ça va?" "Asseyez vous, svp" etc. They are happy and they do ask, "Parlez vous français?" I just tell them honestly, that I really don't know the language, but I dabbled with the language in grade school, because I attended a school run by Quebecois nuns. I also took some fun classes at the local university. (Northern New England actually has a big French-Canadian population.) The patients understand and appreciate my efforts.
I can only say Hello in a few languages. Most of the other words I know are Spanish and German swear words đ
I am open I only know a few words in Russian, never lie about it mostly the bad ones
I am a truly white American. I grew up with parents that never spoke a second language. People in my area get shocked when they bad mouth me in Spanish or one of the other 5 languages I speak and I clap back at them in Spanish. Some kids on a bus were making jokes about everyone on the bus in Spanish. I quickly respond with âI wouldnât trash talk looking like a wet paper bagâ in Spanish, the three looked at me dumbfounded. I then translated it so the others knew what I said. One lady got upset about me insulting the kids. I told her about how they called her a desperate cougar looking for their next meal and it was probably the guy sitting next to her. The trio got off the bus at the next stop. I have seen them on the same bus several times since. They sit quite now.
it happened to me once lol. im learning german and i was feeling pretty proud of myself from my progress, heh... so ah yeah i met a german and my pronounciation was crap. it was so embarrassing
i diddnt tell him i was FLUENT but i told him i come long enough to hold a conversation, which was also untrue
That 19 year old daughter story is infinitely upsetting. Even if that secret was the only thing she ever lied to her daughter about, he would have to lie about more things. "What were you feeling?" "Did you ever think about me?" "Why did you do it?" "What would you have done different?"
That's beyond fucked up. And it makes me angry, especially being a father.
It's a tough one. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but I'm also bluntly honest as I think that's best. I don't know how I would handle that in his place. So, I guess I get his turmoil over it.
I get not wanting to ruin the daughter's image of the mom, but she diserves (not sure if I spelled that right) to know.
@@whatisthisalgorithm No you did not but thats fine
@@tkbryan95 I don't see it as a tough one. The daughter is either going to think ill of a dead person (who did something horrible to her and OP) for another 60+ years or she is going to think ill of a living, breathing, person who did nothing wrong and could be there for her for the next 60+ years -- helping her out, giving her away at a wedding, taking care of her children, supporting her, etc. She was already robbed of 19 years of support, money, care, teaching, protection, choice, etc. Keeping up the lie just adds another 50+ years of it.
@@tkbryan95 While I can grant that white lies can be beneficial, in this case the lie was self serving and harmful.
For them to expect him to not only accept such a harmful lie, but participate in it simply in order to protect the false reputation of the deceased ex. is crazy. And I suspect the more relevant thing they were upset about was that he exposed that they were lying to her as well.
I concur that speaking ill of the dead is to be avoided. But that's not really what he intended or did. He was developing an honest relationship with his daughter. And expecting him do that while reinforcing a massive lie complicating things is absurd.
In hindsight, perhaps he could have handled the situation slightly better by being clear with the uncle that he had no intention of lying to his daughter. But he was in such a bizarre situation, that I doubt I would have handled things perfectly in his shoes.
Hearing rslash trying his damn best not to cry while talking about his grandma is really heart-wrenching, im sorry for your loss bro
The tone of his voice while he's trying not to cry is so sad, not to mention the story.
IKR.... I was cleaning my room while listening to this story from the podcast... I was in the process of putting memorial trinkets in a memory box... it brought be to tears to hear him talking about what happened.... I really really understand how rslash and op felt, small, seemingly meaningless trinkets can hold so many memories and emotions for people... my memory box is full of papers, letters, trinkets, pens, jewelry, and much more... every in that box is what reminds me of my life before, the good and the hard times, memories of people I once new, people Iâve lost, agh... Iâm sobbing...
When my grandpop died I only wanted 3 things yes they had value but no I didn't want them to sell I wanted them to keep I wanted his explorer his ford truck and the tools I used growing up
Edit yes I did end up losing everything but the explorer I drove it till the engine was no more
Honestly made me cry like I know that pain and I feel for him
â@@finnlythemarshmallow i was crying to, i have 3 pens my papa (grandad) got for working on the Boeing b2 bomber that i keep with me in my jacket and a elephant dog toy that my dog oyster loved when she was alive. god im have not cried in awhile.
worthless things like that are worth way more then money.
For the last story, messaged OP and he did find the rock.
ok
good!
Happiness noises
69 likes nice
Yeeeeeesssss
The one about the daughter reminds me of this quote:
âYou own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.â
â Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life
Just bought the book.
This quote has reached me at the perfect moment in my life, thank you
Wow, I've never heard about this book but now I wanna read it
R/Slash's grandma sounds like a wonderful person, may she rest in peace. I'm sorry for your loss.
About the last story: OP posted an update that a lot of friends helped him look for the rock and they actually found it again ^^ so a happy ending at least
OH THANK GOD, honestly i would have lost my mind if he never found that rock I'm so happy for him orz
Thank goodness. I'm glad he has that reminder of his grandfather back.
Yay thank goodness itâs okay!!! đđ
I'm sorry to ask but a link please I want to read the wholesome story.
@@gemrock yt really did just take away my whole comment... Anyways you'll find it if you search the title of the AITA post, i can't link it here
I started crying when RSlash started crying. Man. You can tell he's being honest and clear of his emotions. I hope him and OP are okay.
I'm glad i wasn't the only one tearing up when he started crying
Same
Same like rn theres a lump i my throat
OMG ME TOO. It was so sudden
Same
Itâs kinda ironic how Cathy called op a âlittle b**châ who bullies new colleagues while bullying him at the same time
That's generally how bullies work. Painting victims as the bad guy.
If she normally expects coworkers to support lies she makes about her abilities, she sounds like a nightmare to work with.
Cathy wasnât even bullying, she was being a prick, but not bullying
When I was sixteen, my youngest niece passed away at five weeks old, and a couple days later I found a binky that was left at my house from babysitting her two days before she died. I held that binky and just fell apart and collapsed into tears. Unfortunately, my sister doesn't like to let us grieve her, and I think the next time she was over, she took the binky and threw it out, because it was missing from where I kept it. My sister didn't really care that my niece died, and was even laughing at her funeral, and then immediately sold all of the things she had bought for my niece. She didn't even care for my niece when she was alive, she wouldn't hold her, wouldn't feed her, wouldn't bathe her or change her clothes. She'd hand my niece off and make everyone else do it. I held that baby every chance I got, and she spent the first month of her life in the NIC-U because she was premature, and was only home for a week before she died. I will never forgive my sister for neglecting her daughter or throwing away the binky that belonged to my niece. I still have a flannel blanket I sewed for her laying around somewhere, though, because my mom wouldn't let my sister take it
i'm so sorry that happened to you.
rip
I'm sorry for you and your family.
your sister is so insensitive
Your sister is heartless. Who laughs at their OWN FLESH AND BLOOD'S funeral and just forgets they ever existed. Either that or it's just how she is coping with with the loss through emotional denial and doesn't want to get help with learning how to grieve better
the way he told the story about his grandma was so raw and just hearing his voice breaking got me crying, im sorry for you loss rSlash, thank you for sharing that story with us
Yeah, I was definitely NOT expecting that. But I am grateful for it. It's amazing to see the way his tone of voice has changed over the last couple years of videos and how much more comfortable he's become talking to an audience.
This video was one of the most comfortable he's ever been and I love that. That story crushed my heart.
I cried too
I just bawled like a baby over the breaking of his voice, the way he struggled to get words out without openly sobbing. I'm soooo sorry for your loss. Its obvious how much you loved your grandma. Those magnets are connected to some AMAZING memories. Just like that rock for the OP in the last story.
It may seem "dumb" to others, but it doesn't give them the right to throw it out. Jane (or whatever that girl's name was) has got to do her best to find that rock (good luck on that), and should be begging for forgiveness from OP. Doesn't mean he has to forgive her, but its a good first few steps to make amends.
I didnât cry, but I definitely stopped what I was doing. Itâs funny how when you tell a story about someone who was close to you that you lost and that emotion hits you like a hammer. RIP grandma. đ
It definitely got me crying, too. I'm still crying.
He sounds like he needs a hug... best wishes to him and everyone
YUGO ! DO YOUR JOB !!
@@karbonythe My thought exactly, Yugo, give hugs!
He does, I hope he feels better soon, so best wishes from your local Octopus
Sending super big hugs your way
ikr if I was able to I would've climbed through the screen to give him one
Ha, op's story about her speaking 3 languages, in the update the coworker was fire because she lied also in her resume and the company fire her.
lol...yep, language fluency is not something to lie about. I never tell people I am fluent in German. I tell people I have a working knowledge of the language; according to the Common European Framework of Reference for Language, I'd be around B1 or low B2, indicating intermediate proficiency/fluency. C1 or C2 is considered fluent.
My folks and I have a family friend who is at least half-fluent in German, because he did his post-doc in DĂŒsseldorf. At the pharmaceutical company where he works as a chemist, his colleagues/associates sometimes ask his help in translating scientific journal articles that are only available in German. Translating a research journal article is not a skill you can fake. Those articles are complicated enough in English, let alone a foreign language.
LMAO that is simply the BEST. Bon voyage, butthole!~
Lol
rSlash is, quite honestly, one of my favorite CZcamsrs. The fact that he shows emotion in everything he says, and that he willingly shows vulnerability and tells everybody here about his experiences, makes him easier to respect and empathize with. He immediately feels like the type of person you can always trust, especially when it comes to being honest without being a dick about it. That's rare to see both online and in the outside world.
I'm sorry for the loss of your grandmother, rSlash, and I do hope that you are living happily. It sounds like she was a wonderful woman, I'm glad that you and your brother got to have such a good relationship with her.
R/: changes around grandmaâs magnets
Grandma: âI sense a disturbance in the forceâ
Goddammit man, I was still saddened with Rslash's story but that meme reference make me feel sad and laugh at the same time.
I laughed out loud there!
That's wholesome content. Those are just kids messing around.
*Grandma: âI sense a disturbance in the magnetic forceâ
i mean. literally XD
also rip rslash grandma
that lucky rock saved that guy from some "friends".
I guess in the end it ended up being a really lucky rock that deterred buttholes
I really feel for that i lost my grandfather in December 2020 due to covid and I really wanted to keep his gold watch which was not actually gold just a normal watch which looked like a gold one he got it after working for 25 years in xyz company. But the thing is the hospital staff took it and acted like he didn't even bring it with him. His glasses and watch are just missing and the only place we could think of are the hospital I'm still salty about it cause I always adored his watch and he told me it belonged to me but now I just can't have it cause some jerk wanted some money hope those $50 bring joy to your family.
damn...that final story had me in my feels. I lost both my parents within 9 months of each other. This was several years ago and i still feel it, when ever i look at my dad's old jackets or watches that I have. Even every time I pick up my camera--which was bought using part of the life insurance from my mum--i feel it. That shit really hit home man.
Just so you know, OP found his rock again! Jane is still a butthole, but at least OP is okay!
By the end of the story I was so atatched to the rock. I was having a panic atack and scouring reddit till I found out he found the rock. I can now cary on with my day. R/ can't be messing with me like that.
Rslash feels comfortable enough with his viewers to talk about his personal life and cry. I deeply respect that and whether or not you read this Rslash, i hope your grandma is resting in peace.
It destroyed me at the end when Rslash apologize to OP about his loss but instead of saying "grandfather" he said "grandmother". He was thinking of his own grandmother...
Excuse me while I cry-
I cried. I know the pain. I have a pillow I cannot throw away that is my grandmas. It has been 10 years and 6 months since her passing.
Always tell the truth, i say to these stories.
To all of them.
I could elaborate, but no, thats not needed.
yeah i got it too as i had a similar situation to Rslash with a grandparent but mine was a brass keyring, unlike the magnets or rock. really hit me in the feels.
@@pickelsvonbrine 17 years 2 months 4 days my grandads only keyring has been on me at all times. losing that would be heartbreaking so i know how you feel about the pillow.
He said grandfather lol. But yeah I know the pain
Itâs still impossible to not cry when hearing someone else break into tears
Me too
Well Jade...no
Right? I got a frog in my throat hearing this.
Right? Still have tears streaming down my face
Bruh sameđ
15:35 you can hear the pain and sadness in his voice, itâs almost touching to know how well you loved her, sheâs always going to be with you watching you and Iâm sure sheâs extremely proud of you
when he started to talk about his grandma dying, you could hear the sadness and point in his voice. rest in peace rslash's grandma
Rslash being sad is one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever heard
I've never heard him being this sad, it completely broke my heart
It made me wanna cry.
I broke down hearing his emotions. I lost a loved one (great uncle) right before Covid hit.
I found that extremely touching. People _should_ be encouraged to embrace their emotions, it's a healthy part of being human.
I teared up hearing the pain in his voice. :( I lost my grandma when I was 21 and all I wanted was a little plastic clock. I feel for you rslash.
Even if the rock was just a meaningless rock, who tf just throws other people's items out like that??? Especially while they're doing them a favor!! Jesus christ the nerve of that girl, what is wrong with her??
The absolute entitlement of some people is disgusting. It doesnât matter if it some random object, itâs still not your property. What makes you think you have the right to do that to someone.
Right?! I have a normal ass looking rock that looks like the head of my lizard to me, if someone did that to me I would be soooo f*cking mad.
Plus itâs also a huge safety hazard, that rock couldâve went through somebodyâs window, or if it was light enough it couldâve got stuck in your cars draft and mess up your car.
Can hear the heartbreak in his last story. I feel that, my great grandma was exactly the same with the Knick knacks and all of that and would get confused if something was moved and she ended up getting dementia, took care of her for the last 4 years and she just passed the 19th of December. Sorry for your loss â€ïž
Dude, when your voice started cracking while explaining the value of the magnets I just wanted to give you a big hug. I know the sentimental value of something so small, I can feel your sadness. I had a friend who died in a bad car accident back in 2004, I still have the paper ninja star she made for me. It's not about the monetary value of the object, it's the emotional value it holds . Again, I really want to hug you and let you know how sorry I am for your loss
I'm so sorry about your friend. Here's a hug
Iâm sorry for your loss Rslash. I hope everything is better in the future.
?
@@elikeith2691 his end story
The empathy that rslash gave to the last story was really heart touching. Great boost of morale and a life lesson to all of us!
@@eightnine4802 This is why I love listening to rSlash. He puts emotion into his videos, not just some plain ass bored voice.
@@tomdean1876 I laughed out loud when you said plain ass bored voice
Rslash getting emotional at the end just made me start to sob.
A couple years ago my little cousin was killed in an ATV accident, he was only 14. About a week before that accident he went golfing with my dad and I, and afterwards I was driving him to go get pizza for dinner. He had found a yellow golf ball while golfing and jokingly he just goes "here now I can annoy you even when I'm not here" and put the golf ball in the little pocket area of the passenger side door. So, now, whenever I took a turn a little bit too fast, I would hear the golf ball move around in the pocket. That golf ball hasn't moved from that spot until recently when I got a new car and I put it in the pocket of that passenger side door, and when I go visit his gravesite I take it out and just sit with it in my hand.
Always tell the truth, i say to these stories.
To all of them.
I could elaborate, but no, thats not needed.
@@loturzelrestaurant I mean, I am telling the truth in my story so. My little cousin was the closest thing I had to a brother growing up, so loosing him just ruined me both mentally and physically. His death still effects me to this day, and it'll be 5 years in April since his passing.
I do agree with you, it's important to tell the truth in these stories. I'm not looking for sympathy, but rather I am just trying to share my story to sympathize with both the OP of that story and rslash. Loosing someone that close to you is a horrible thing I would never want to wish upon anyone..
@Loturzel Restaurant Why would they lie about something like that? It's a sweet and touching memento to keep that yellow golf ball. Show some empathy.
@@lexawatson2295 You totally misunderstood my comment. Completly.
Please re-read.
@@loturzelrestaurant Are you saying we should let people know how much we care about them all the time because we never know when they might leave us?
I started crying listening to your story about your grandma. My dear lovely grandma passed a few months ago and im still getting over it. I remember how me and my brother used to go this play-room and take out this old, broken music box. it sounded really spooky to us and grandma used to hum that same melody and it kinda calmed us down. That music box is the only thing i wanted for myself. Its my treasure
I have my grandma's music box too; I have a huge family so I'm glad they let me have it. During family gatherings at her house (age
For the last story, I lost my grandma last year. The only things I wanted to inherit from her 100% was a purple teddy bear, a sock bunny and the chair it sat on, the blanket I always used whenever I went over there, and my snoopy pillowcase. They held little significance to me at the time when I used them, because Iâm not a Peanuts fan, but they were what I always used at her apartment, and so the pillowcase and the blanket mean a lot to me now that she is gone. The teddy bear is my favorite color, which was also her favorite color, purple, which is why I wanted the teddy bear, and I just really liked seeing the sock bunny in the bathroom and thought it was super cute. So I 100% understand the magnets wanting to be something you inherited. I also, from my grandma that passed in 2015, only really wanted two things; the prayer shawl that my grandma got when her husband (my grandpa) passed away from her church, and a teddy bear that was an Angel. These items are all very dear to me, because they are the few things I still remember from my grandparents. I have no living grandparents left, and the items I inherited are going to be cherished for years to come.
Another story from what I inherited is that I inherited an 18 inch tall (maybe taller I donât know for sure) ceramic giraffe that is a bunch of cool colors, like blues, teals, and purples. And, my aunt and I both collect giraffes, and make jokes to each other about which giraffes of the others we want to âstealâ (all in good fun, we wouldnât actually do that). And when my dad went to clean my grandmas apartment with his siblings, my aunt decided to let me have that large ceramic giraffe because she knew I would love it for the colors, the fact that it was a giraffe, and the significance of it being from grandma. So yeah, throwing away a rock from a passed grandparent is a shitty thing to do, and honestly, Iâd give her 5/5 buttholes for that because if any one of my friends got rid of one of my significant items, I would cut them out of my life. I donât even let my friends borrow the blanket or prayer shawl, because of the significance to me of them, which yeah seems mean to some people, but they are treasured and Iâd hate for something to be spilled on them or something.
Edit: I should also mention, before my grandma passed last year, I bought her car from her, which she hadnât fully cleaned out everything yet, she still had a phone charger cord, and some other miscellaneous items. Two of those items were a coin that is meant to be passed to others as a kindness âpay it forwardâ token, and a metal symbol of praying hands (she was Catholic). As a non religious person, I donât have an attachment to the praying hands token, but since it was my grandmas, I leave it in my car. I like to think that because Iâve kept the hand token, sheâs watching me and protecting my car from being damaged because of the hands (sign of god or something I donât really know). And the kindness token, I canât bring myself to pass onto someone else because they wonât necessarily know the significance of the token, and so it stays with the hands. So two semi meaningless items just stay in my car because they were from my grandma.
The part where rSlash started almost crying over his grandma really got to me. I was tearing up just from his voice.
yeah, me too đ„
Same I'm still teary eyed
Dude same I was crying like a baby by the end
I lost my twin brother a few months ago and it reminded me a lot of him & what we kept. He had so many little things that might seem insignificant to others but keeping things like his hoodies and his knitwork- even what he left unfinished- helps a lot.
It hit me when he started to tear up
The rock story pissed me off more than the story about the unknown daughter. Like even if its just a rock, why the fuck would you throw it out the window if its your friends rock?
Yeah and then only 3/5 Rating? Like whut? 1. She is a toxic Person. 2. She disrespects her friend's property. 3. She gets rides from friends and acts like it's her right, not that they do her a favor. 4. I bet she painted herself as the victim. "Poor me has been abandoned and now I have to walk home alone boohoo" that's how the other friends saw it. So that makes at least 4/5 buttholes.
I saw the update op posted and they found the rock!!!!
@@kassiaugustine8745 omg im so happy for them! I know how it feels to have a lucky item from my grandfather and if some C threw it out the window I would flip my lid, like pull over right away and make her walk.
@@kassiaugustine8745 that's so good to read. However this friend will probably say now: " See? Nothing bad happened. Now you can give me a ride again." Hope OP ditched this friend for good.
@@Allmight_Kitty and the worts part is it was like a 15 minute walk!
Hey, Rslash, fellow lady who has suffered the loss of a great-grandmother here I know how emotional it is to hear someone close passing away. 2 years ago now I found out that she passed after she fell out of bed at the care home she lived at. Nanny Smith was 98 years old, coming up to 99 years old, when she passed away.
I never knew I could love rslash any more than I already did, I didn't know he could be any more genuine.
Until that last story.
Thankyou rslash for being a truly genuine man, and a loving, caring person đ
Op with the daughter: the daughter is 19 and she's allowed to know how her mom denied her the opportunity to know her own dad. the uncle needs to understand that the daughter isn't a kid.
the rock story: don't touch someone's things. don't ever insult something that anothe person loves. god forbid jane has something she holds dear thrown out of a car window and deemed "stupid."
I'm sorry for your loss Rslash.
how ironic, they are okay with kara's mom painting off Op as a deadbeat that bailed but don't like it when kara gets told the truth.
Cathy claimed OP to be acting like she was superior about European heritage, after she lied about being able to speak European languages, which is pretty freaking stupid
Would have give 4/5 rating, 1 for each lie, 1 for playing the victim and tried to blame OP and 1 for talking behind his back to his collegues.
Donât lie about something and then be shocked when someone exposes you on your lie when they actually know what theyâre talking about.
@Chris George but itâs not talking to her in a different language for no reason she literally just said seconds before that she was very fluent in those languages so thatâs not the same
It would be perfectly appropriate to respond in Spanish for example if someone said âIâm very fluent in Spanishâ no one said theyâre trying to quiz you. _You_ were the one that said you know the language
@Chris George thatâs still different because itâs not a language and theyâre not from England.
Also who said that you would be a dancing monkey? No offense but youâre coming off as very biased. If Person A and Person B are talking and A says they are fluent in letâs say German and B is too, itâs understandable for B to say âI know German tooâ or respond in German. If you lie about being very fluent in the language youâre Setting yourself up for failure knowing how many people could know said language.
@Chris George Cathy said she was fluent and that native speakers often thought she was one. That means she is declaring how comfortable she is with the languages.
If you learned Thai, moved to Thailand, and barely got the chance to have real conversations in English, wouldnât you jump at the opportunity when a colleague said âoh I go to America all the time, Iâm very fluent in English, and when Iâm there Americans often mistake me for a localâ?
My grandma passed away this year so your grief and that OPs grief helped me process through mine. Thank you
You can feel the shift in tone when he talk about his grandmother and I've felt the same pain to lose a figure like that and the wave o sadness i felt was painful im sorry for your loss
that sadness coming out from his voice while he speaks about his grandma is so sad
The genuine pain broke my heart
IKR? His grandma sounds like she was an amazing woman đ
Right? I felt it to the point of tears
I felt his pain, too. I had lost my paternal grandmother just last year.
Man, I want to get the him a hug.
Looking at the daughters perspective, I would honestly rather know my mom was a big fat liar than think my dad just didnât want to raise me.
Same
My shtick about it is how does he or anyone else KNOW the ex told their daughter he was a "deadbeat" but for good reason? Considering she waited until she was 19 until getting curious about her father, that tells me she didn't have the curiosity when she was younger, bringing up the possibility of the mom probably even lying about that & claiming the dad was a man ho who never cared about her.
I totally agree. My parents divorced when I was little and my dad started dating a woman not that long afterwards, which always really hurt my mom but she never said anything to me. She told me she never wanted to say anything that would taint my view or my time with him. I'm long grown up now and found out about a year ago that he actually was seeing that woman before my parents split up. He was cheating on her. I still don't know how to feel about it. I kinda wish I woulda known that back then and known how much my mom had to prod him into spending time with me cause he'd always forget or just back out. Now I haven't heard from him in idk, 6 years, haven't seen him in over a decade. Maybe if I knew what he was like, it wouldn't have hurt as much now to realize I wasn't that important to him. Honesty can hurt, but lies usually hurt worse.
Yeah, I mean, not being ready to raise your child is one thing and then never even checking up on them or contacting them for 19 years is like so much different. I can imagine the daughter thinking if her father never wanted to see her and that's why he never contacted her or if he didn't love her or never thought about her.
If it were me, I'd tell her she shouldn't be angry at her mother for lying about this. She didn't want me in her life because things hadn't worked out, but she did want to keep her daughter. It wasn't a huge lie, to be honest, and it was meant with good intentions. She should be happy she had a mother and family who wanted her, and now that she's old enough to understand these kinds of situations (hopefully), she can just enjoy the fact she has a biological father who not only didn't abandon her but actually wants to be in her life.
Going down another road, who knows what might have happened. She could have lived in a home full of discord that ended up a broken home, or had to deal with two parents who don't live with or like each other playing tug of war with their kid. Her parents made tough decisions at a young age, and she needs to understand that people aren't perfect and life doesn't always have easy answers. Things turned out well for her in the end, so she should be grateful.
I am so sorry about your grandma! I'm sending you and your family lots of prayers!
My grandmother passed away when I was still in middle school. It would be crushing to me if I lost anything of hers after her passing but she wasn't a materialistic person and I don't have anything of hers that would be considered sentimental. I can't imagine how they must be feeling when that last little bit of connection was stolen from them.
today on rslash: man reads stories about douchebags and bares his soul.
The father who didn't know his daughter existed, totally not the *hole.
I'm mad at the whole lot of the maternal family.
Except the daughter
@@crazyduckthing1210
Sorry if that wasn't clear!
Maternal family, the daughter's mother's family.
Lets all give him a virtual hug for talking about that and still wanting to share this story with us
Dude, i nearly cried when you told about your grandma. I could hear the tears in your voice. You must have really loved her, and the pain was still fresh when you recorded this video. Im sorry for your loss
rslash crying at the end really broke something in me
Same
Oh my god yesđšđš I also have a lucky rock too
Same
kids, this is why you donât lie about the languages you speak
I'm mean you can't say you speak something to someone if you don't know a little bit about the language
Some people might say "can you demonstrate" what would she say, would she say "I can't speak it right now bc ___".
@@bruhmodeactive3211 she would probably say the one sentence she learned.
@@bruhmodeactive3211 well Im shitty at french. But I have a running gag going that I should at least two times in the lesson raise my hand to ask "Est-ce que je peux aller au toilette" which translates to "may I go to the toilet" and to say "Je ne sais pas" - "I dont know". What I am trying to say is that you can easily learn a single sentence in two minutes. Its for me like vocabularys I just remember shitty jokes in foreign languages.
This just reminds me of the "My Uncle works at Nintendo" lies on the playground back in the 90's and 2000's. Some people never grow out of the "lying to impress others" phase....
Wow, this one got really deep and emotional. I'm so glad that you have it in you to share these thoughts and emotions with us. You give so much more value to the reddit threads than just reading them. Many times I appreciate the post commentary even more than the story, so thank you for that.
I binge your videos so much but this one really hits my heart. Sending you all the hugs in the world Rslash, you lovely human.
as someone who grew up without a mother because she left since "she wasn't in the right mindset" to raise kids. You go through your whole life wondering why you weren't good enough for that parent to stay, or if they loved you despite everything. If that if they didn't have that excuse, would they have stayed. I don't have any negative feelings towards my mother but I definitely have some abandonment issues and the sorts from it and I would like to know the honest truth for my own closure. OP did the right thing in telling her the truth because not only does it let her know that her Dad would've been there for her in different circumstances, but it also probably filled this hole she had the whole time. OP and his daughter were robbed of a relationship and it's none of her extended family's business to want to keep the secret a secret for the benefit of the Ex (who isn't even around anymore to CARE). Her mother chose to lie. Lying to the dad is one thing but lying to the daughter is another. She had no reason to lie to the daughter. She could've told her the truth. but anyways that's my rant. haha
Thatâs what I was thinking!
Minus the whole parent not being there part
I'm in the same situation but my dad instead of mum it's tough growing up like it
It's not on you, it's not that you weren't good enough. SHE wasn't good enough. No idea how much love there could be from someone who chose to leave and didn't get to know you, but she definitely would've used another excuse to leave if she didn't have the one she used.
I thought exactly the same: She is dead, so she does not care, why not come forward and tell her that her dad did not even know she exists? I don't get this whole "lie for the sake of a dead person" ... if the mother decided to lie that was up to her but since she is gone, there is no reason not to tell the truth! đ€·đŒââïž
If the daughter truly didn't care, she wouldn't have asked him. The mother's side of the family may not care what she thinks of him but it is bullshit to ask him to lie for the ex who wronged both of them horribly.
Uncle was clearly intentionally lying to everyone. That is entirely on him. He continually chose and chose again to lie.
Yesh, PLUS, she is 19! She is an adult and has the right to know the truth!
She is not a kid anymore, if she gets mad it will pass, her family just needs to understand and give her space and time.
None of it is really OP's fault
Man, hearing you get emotional talking about your grandma broke my heart. I absolutely love the story you told, she sounds like such a cool grandparent. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you and your brother have those magnets to remember such fun times with her.
Man, Iâm sorry. You speaking about your grandmother has brought me to tears. You crying has brought me to tears. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope that you never go through what the op of the last story did.
I hope those little magnets have a special place on your fridge â€ïž
As a child who was lied to. Always be honest to your children, even if it sucks.
OP not the a- hole, The ex girlfriend made him look like he was a absentee parent by choice but in reality he did not even know that she existed. The family should have known that this lie was going to come out eventually and they have only themselves to blame for going along with it.
@@barbarastorball2117 Exactly, Op has every single right to be angry and upset. The mom should've came clean ages ago, before the daughter was even old enough to start asking questions. Her taking the choice to be a father out of his hands and hiding their daughter from him for *19 YEARS* is just unforgivable.
as someone who's also dealt with this, dont dump that info in your kids without being delicate. by choice he dumped that on her without trying to approach it appropriately. its not okay.
Secrets at that scale always gets out.
@@squishy2368 I get what you're saying, but she was asking questions. And it was more paraphrased, so it may have been done in a more delicate manner than what came across in the story. It sounds like she took it well, but was just angry at her maternal family for lying to her all these years. And I don't blame her for that! Her mother had no right to keep her away from her father and not giving him a chance or a choice. There are firsts he'll never get back. As a mom I feel for him. Each child is special in their own right, but there's something very special about your firstborn and the things you get to experience with them and unfortunately he'll never get that with his now. Hopefully they can continue their relationship now and move forward from here.
Third story: "They want to protect the image of her mother", they just wanted their crazyness not to come out and place the innocent OP as the villan even if they "didn't intended." If yo lie to a kid prepare for the consequences for when he or she grows up.
Yeah, eventually they realize religion is bullshit
The whole family knew except for the daughter. They all lied to her for 19 years. The OP was lied to as well. Telling her the truth was the right decision.
@@MrGrumblier Yep, they didn't have the right to lie and make OP the bad guy
yeah there lied but imagine if op has kids from another partner the thought of that situation dam
@@TriaMaxwell Lies always come back to bite you in the ass. The bigger the lie, the nastier the bite. The grandparents and uncle got what they deserved. If the OP hadn't come clean, it would have eventually come out and then he would have lied to her as well. She'd feel like she could trust no one.
That 19-year-old girl is a good person. She had been told and believed, for 19 years, that her dad was a deadbeat, yet she still gave him a fair chance.
When I listen to all of your Reddit readings, I am usually doing laundry or dishes, or driving in the car, or sweeping, etc. and when you started telling the story about your grandma, I stopped what I was doing, and just listened đ„ș. I LOVE the story about your grandma â€
Oh, my, I'm sorry for your loss Rslash. Stay strong. I'm sure your grandma is very proud of you. Keep those memories close to your heart. đ
That rock meant the WORLD to that woman and her âfriendâ just threw it away, if that was me I would have not only banned them from my car, but kicked them from my life!
RSlash your such a wholesome, loving person. Iâm very sorry about your grandmother. Bye
Thanks to the person who led another to a treasure they cannot possess, for I have been the 69th like
@@sumdumfuk5688 btw to make yall feel better she found it later
Not that it matters really, but the owner of the rock was a dude.
@@tangleshootburrfoot36 oh sorry he*
The OP found the rock thankfully
i like how he talks normaly but when he stops he starts freaking out.Love your content and keep the good work
Omg! The story about your grandma and the magnets made me cry. Thank you for sharing that. It's the little things that mean so much.
*sees something in friends hand*
*asks to see what it is*
*says itâs stupid and throws it out a window*
âYouâre such an asshole how could you do that to MEEEEEâ
FR.
It's like entering someone's home. It's their car, so you follow their rules and respect their things.
Also like why? Rocks aren't stupid. I'm sure she kept rocks as a kid and picked up ones that looked cool. Everyone does. Why is it suddenly dumb just because you're an adult? And why do you think you have a right to judge others for it? Ughhhh that story made me so viscerally uncomfortable. From the start I knew what was coming and I wanted to cry. Thank goodness he found it. I would have been devastated! Anyway, you don't throw other people's things. Didn't she learn that in kindergarten? Even if it was a candy wrapper, if it's in someone else's car, you ask before you throw it out, and she knew it had some amount of value because he told her it was his lucky rock.
iâm so sorry for your loss, she sounds like she was an amazing woman, and she loves you so much! rest in peace lovely x
He made me tear up. I lost my sister back in 2017 and will never ever forget that time I spent with her.
I also just lost my grandmother and the only thing I took was this small piece of stained glass. I look at it every day in my window.
@@noahproctor6196 i lost my grandad in 2019, i didnât get anything but the 3 pictures we took. My dad (his son) isnât too present in my life due to arguments, etc so i wonât get my share of his will either which sucks lowk. Iâm sorry for ur loss x
@@guitarbass22 iâm so sorry for your loss, iâve never lost a sibling but i understand how hard that would have/has been, may she rest in peace x
That last story, he found his rock! He and a bunch of buddies were able to find it!
I have listened to you tell hundreds and hundreds of these stories and it was very touching to hear how emotional you became of your grandma and the magnets. Thanks for your wonderful narration and the effort that you put into what you do.
For the guy only finding out he had a Daughter when she was 19 years old - screw them, you were robbed of so so much.
For real! It's good for OP to know Kara didn't hate him for "being a deadbeat" like her mom said he was!
She robbed him of the experience of being a dad and to love the girl as Kara was robbed of having a dad!
What was wrong with OP's ex!? Just because they broke up doesn't mean she has an excuse to lie and take away both of Kara and OP's chances to be in each other's lives!
OP's lucky he even got to hear about Kara in the first place because he could've lived the rest of his life without knowing Kara even existed
@@jasminechildress6938 better late than never I suppose...a simple phone call would have given both of them so much. Also if the mother hadn't passed away would the Dad have ever found out.
I don't know. I'm just saying, OP's ex was awful!
And the excuse is, "Well, we aren't a thing anymore, so why should he be in his child's life?"
But I think he wouldn't. He probably go through life without ever knowing he'd had a daughter
@@jasminechildress6938 An awful spit of oxygen thief for what she denied them both. He may have felt differently years ago but she never gave him the choice.
I really wanted to write a long comment about how the story you told, at the end, about your grandma, had me in tears... but I can't properly explain what happened... Just... thank you, thank you for how beautiful this story was and how you're able to... idk... move those who listen to you.
Whether it's rage, sadness, hope... you're able to make us feel just the way you feel, and it's really comforting. So again... thank you đ
Not sure if anyone else mentioned it, but for the last story, OP provided updates and the final one was that his rock was found (the entire group* helped him look for it). Upon talking to Jane to tell her, she apologized and felt guilty for what she did (and didn't try to excuse her behavior). He told her that it'd be a long time before he could trust her again.
* those who were initially not on OP's side joined his side once they learned about the significance of that particular rock.
Running theme of the episode: If you don't want to be embarrassed by your lies being exposed, DON'T FRIGGIN LIE.
Regarding the car rock scene - she should be lucky he didn't pull over then and there and didn't make her walk all the way home.
I thought the exact thing, it's what I would have done.
@@AestheticWaif Yeah. Screw her. That honestly is just about the most disrespectful thing to do to someone who is giving you a ride I can think of. "Oh you and your life style choices mean I don't have to pay for an uber? Yeah your life style choices are stupid. Let me just throw away something *I* think is useless because your opinion doesn't even matter"
@@Goodgu3963 well said! 10/5 buttholes
Iâm sorry, dude, Iâd like your comment but right now itâs at 69, so the law says I cant
@@SpairM it's now past 91, so you can like now
I love this channel so much. Weâve literally *watched* as you became a father and saw how you grew as a husband and how caring and sweet you are towards your daughter. Weâve seen how your views and feelings about stories with bad parents changed once you became a dad. And how much bigger your heart grew when she was born. And we get little glimpses into who you truly are when you tell us stories like in this video. The personal story about your childhood and grandma and how much you loved her. And you opened up and were vulnerable and you werenât afraid to show your emotions or think it was silly. And you donât hold on to ridiculous standards of toxic masculinity that hold back some men from truly being able to connect with their daughters or wife. Just the way you interacted with your dog was endearing to us. Idk, Iâm just happy that we get someone as great as the content he makes. So thank you!
This legit broke my heart, my condolences to you rslash. Im sure that your grandmother is happy that you got those magnets.
Hearing rslashâs voice break as he tries not to cry has to be one of the most heartbreaking things Iâve ever heard
I am not there yet but I already know that I am going to end up breaking down crying
Right there with you.
Not gonna lie but hearing him break down gave a tear in my eye
Yeah I usually draw while listening to r/slash and that legit caught me off guard
Totally! Cried with him!
Kara wanted to know the truth, OP told her the truth
Kara is a grown woman, if she wanted to know the truth about her father, that's her choice, and if OP wanted to tell her, that's his choice
I watch too much Boruto
@@itachiswill5263 yes,I can see it
but tbh Start watching boruto when something actually happens
And the uncle KNEW. He asked OP to lie. In advance.
The uncle and grandparents KNEW that the mother had robbed this innocent man of 19 years' worth of relationship-building and bonding and just TIME with his daughter. Not to mention 19 years worth of support for that child. Just the financial support she was owed (the CHILD was owed child support, dudes!), that they denied her!
It is heinous, and OP was right to tell the truth.
And although it hurts that girl now, in the long run, it will give her a deeper understanding of her mother and her mother's humanity, which is something that children need to learn about their parents - that they are human and make mistakes, and that we can forgive those mistakes, but forgiveness requires awareness, first.
OP and the girl are victims. The liars are yelling not because OP was an AH, but because they were revealed in their complicity in the crime.
It might actually be a legal crime. I'm not sure, and it depends on local laws, I'm sure. But it was criminal, nonetheless. And they know it, and tried to stop it, in advance, and now are angry that they were revealed to be a part of it. And so they blame him, for getting them caught.
@@itachiswill5263 the outsuki makes me wanna wach baruto but its baruto is not something I wanna wach :/
Yeah if you are nineteen you hold the right to know who your parents are
Dang Dabney, you made me cry...again!! I listen to your stories over and over and the story of your grandma really gets to me every time. Perhaps this is why I listen to you, you add in your own personal experiences. đ
I felt so much while rslash was talking about his grandma and trying not to cry I cried myself. That was a really sweet story.
When rSlash starts crying you know shit just got real. I'm sorry for your grandma. May she rest in peace.
It's... Peace... Not piece... Oh god
@@surajbanerjee6850 no DONT DO THIS TO ME
PLEAE
Rip
@@surajbanerjee6850 Fixed.. I forgot this existed lol
@@PepiOnLine no problem
Daughter story;
The mother made all the decisions, there were consequences of those decisions. Nobody would accept being called a dick behind their back.
That family didn't make a bed. They made a fucking house
Now they get to live in it while op and his daughter moves out
NOOOOO !!!! This is the first time one of your stories almost made me shed a tear, that pain in your voice really caught me off guard dude...
I've never heard you cry before, honestly it's brave to be vulnerable like that online and I want to give my condolences for your grandma
"you have a natural right to know your daughter" fucking yes, *slow clap*
Wether or not you should keep that right is up to you and the kid though. There are some shitty parents out there, and it sounds like op def wasnt one of them
Rslash, im so sorry about your grandmother, i actually cried when you you were telling the story, she sounds really nice and i wish i couldve known her, my grandmother is the same way.
I'm crying as well I so didn't expect that damm
Same, I had to hold my tears, I remembered my grandparents and some stuff that they left always remind of them... Now I am actually crying
Same I teared up
@@sophiahades1099 memories of people even if they are still alive really hit hard
@@miwunni yep memories of people even if they are still alive hit hard, im sorry.
I have a California Raisin figurine from my Grandmother. It means more to me than so many other things in my house because I can remember her collecting them and seeing them in her curio cabinet.
Never touch anything that others see as sentimental. Itâs not just a rock itâs memories and a connection.
Ouch, that last story (both yours and the OPs) hurt way more than I expected lol
I just lost both of my grandmas this last year (and the family cat of 10+ years in between), so hearing you get emotional brought back some memories of times with them, and uhh.. I guess I'm now learning they aren't quite as far back as I thought they were đ
My deepest condolences to both of you
when rslash was telling his story in correlation to the last one it made me cry. it's ok rslash we here for you.
It fucking hurts to hear him so close to breaking down I cant imagine how bad he must have felt my own brothers grammy passed away last week as she was getting old. We all miss her and she will rest easy. She passed in her sleep
As a Dutch, the pronunciation made me laugh way too much
Iâll have to listen out for that.
@@Martynde it's the first story
@@Martynde around 3:15
I work with Dutch speakers (well they are from Holland and Belgium) and just even TRY to pronounce that is so well and great doneđ I speak Scandinavian languages and Finnish and translate that to Spanish - my dream would be learning a BIT Dutch just to show offđ€Ł
There is a lot of Dutch in these stories,Iâm not complaining.
But its very interesting at least
Iâm dutch so itâs always a pleasant surprise.
I am so sorry about your grandma, rSlash, as I am sorry for the loss of the last OP. Thank you for sharing that story, it's so pure.
Sorry to hear about your grandmother, Rslash. I have been enjoying your reading for a couple years and really enjoy listening. Sincere condolences, God bless you!
I love how human he is
He isnât afraid to cry or laugh
rSLASH? Crying? Shocking
@@Phoenix_Blader_93 you can tell he broke down because it cut then he was in his normal voice
Yeah I feel bad
For the third story Iâm more upset that the mom lied to the child about her dad than the dad being deceived. The mom deprived her child of a parent and made her think she was abandoned. Thatâs going to cause serious trauma and mental health issues. OP was not in the wrong for exposing the truth, she was going to have to learn eventually. The longer they waited, the more she would have suffered.
As someone with a dad with severe struggles and mental health issues, I am one of the only reasons he is still here today. The dad is probably just as hurt as the daughter is.
well I guess the question is are the 'serious trauma and mental health issues' better then the abortion?
did the dad tell her that he agreed to the abortion? or just that his ex lied?
sure now that he in his 30s a child sounds like a good idea but did he really want the kid at 19?
@@SilverMe2004 Did he tell us he didnât want the child at 19? Or that he liked and wanted the abortion to happen? No. So thereâs your answer.
@@Lemon-jh7gu did he tell us that he wanted a child at 19? Or that he opposed and was against the abortion? No so WTF are you talking about?
@@SilverMe2004 He sounded like he wanted to be told about the abortion not happening...probably means he wouldâve taken care of the child had he known...
Omg, you made me cry with your touching memory of your grandma. It was so sweet, and then bam, it became a tear jerker in an instant. Thank you for sharing your story!
Yeah, God forbid the 19-year-old daughter know what kind of person her mother is.
Just cuz last OPs friend is a ââwomanââ doesnât mean shit. She disrespected you and your property / a keepsake from a loved one! I have a ring from my Nani that my pops gave to me and that thing is my life. Iâd do more than kick someone out for tossing it! Rock, ring, stone, or whatever!
Exactly what i was thinking
Plus even if it was just a random rock that OP found and kept cause he liked it, she had no right to toss it out, especially while he was doing her a favor! Who does that???
100% agree. Being female doesn't give us special butthole passes lol that is ridiculous. The rock she lost and disrespected was like a family heirloom and reminded OP of a lost loved one, I'm glad he kicked her out. That was extremely shitty of her
When my nanny passed away I kept a monkey toy from a tea brand and if someone got rid of it I would be devastated
I agree, but I think the implication there was the threat of rape.
Obviously bad things can happen to anyone, but women are obviously more likely to be targeted in that type of attack, and we donât know exactly where the grocery store was, or where sheâd need to walk through to get home.
Im not gonna lie, i cried when hearing him tall about his grandma
Same. Stories like that hit me so hard. I have a few close family members, one being my moms parents. Fortunately they are still alive, but when that time comes, I have no idea what I would do. Im glad rslash was willing to tell that story. But to hear him get so sad, was heart breaking.
Same
bro rSlash i'm so sorry for your loss, every time you get emotional in your videos it breaks my heart dude. those nick nacks are a great way to keep your grandmothers memory alive and it even though it was such a simple childhood thing, it's clearly an amazing memory for you
8:19
This rant was effing great. I was getting upset for him too and you just highlighted most reasons why I was feeling the same way.
Strong emotions conveyed here too. I really appreciate hearing your take here.
Hi r slash! If anyone remembers me, when rslash was on vacation I sent a message to him. Hi, you helped me through an abusive father, depression and POCD. I genuinely canât thank you enough rslash. Your personality is amazing and these videos are what used to stop me from ending my life. I love you man. Iâm doing better now.
Glad you are doing better!
I remember you, glad everything is better.
Glad your doing good man
I think I had enough CZcams for today, I have to work and you guys are making me cry. Glad you are better.
I remember! I'm really glad all is better with you now.