Fitness Influencers are Pretending to be Monkeys
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 5. 05. 2024
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I found some fitness influencers who are promoting the monkey lifestyle let's learn about it
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comment "you thought you apeâ if ur reading this
#kurtisconner - Komedie
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e
Hey, Kurtis, I have a video idea. The movie warriors of virtue is such a bad movie, yet, it's my best friends favorite. It's about kangaroo ninjas and that's all you need to know
@@Ghosty_starzzI HAVE SEEN THAT ONE ITS SO BAD
A
"she do the walk of shame on her knuckles" is crazyyyđ
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
@@ville__ cries
That line does go hard af
Do not respond to ville. He is a member of the CZcams Trash Police (UTTP) which is a hategroup. They thrive on replies.
â@@crumpettrashgoblin sounds like a nice guy đ
Long haired Kurtis looks like he could convince us all to join a commune in the 60s thatâs totally not a cult whatsoever.
But whyâs no one talking abt his iceeeeeeđ
@@maritzahernandez9129ice ice baby
Hippies?
im in
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
during the toe sucking cutaway i was literally thinking "yk what i appreciate that kurtis actually takes some time to makes these and they arent always super short. it's lengthening my attention span" and then he said they went on for too long lol
Yes! These cutaways are the best đ
(i havent watched the whole video) the what
This cutaway was absolutely hilarious. It was the perfect length and I ended up choking on my water from laughing!
Bruh and he used the Grapefruit Technique sound effrctđđđđ
IKR like TikTok shortened it and made my brain cells rot but Kurtis is helping at least one of those.
As someone who got yelled at for climbing a centennial oak in college to find a good place to study, I can't really hate on the monkey movement. I mean, let's face it, climbing things and eating fruit all day sounds like the IDEAL life.
Until your rectum finds out those fruit-based decisions it had no say in have real, not-so-solid consequences.
literally like damn bro I want to do this too tbh
That's how you get the best fruit and the best views. đł đ đ đ đ
I do get why people wouldn't want other people climbing on very old trees tho. Humans are a lot heavier than, say, lemurs.
âyouâre monkeying around patheticallyâ rhyming with yosemite⊠this monkey rap unironically goes off i fear
Why do you fear đł
do not fear
omg someone else that says "i fear"
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
.
Monkeyfluencers are the future. No unhealthy overpriced products, no capitalizing off body dysmorphia, just pure Monke.
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
@@ville__ im in your fucking walls
â@@ville__dont even lock your door tonight it won't stop me
What about body dysmorphia from not being pure monke?
â@@ville__I'm outside your bedroom window
âIâm swinging on vines Jane said you last 6 secondsâ followed by Kurtis laughing like he didnât just say the most fucking fire line ever
NAH âshe do the walk of shame on her knucklesâ got me đ
The cutaways are an integral part of the Kurtis Conner video watching experience. A perfect cutaway should actually be so long you forget what video you were watching in the first place. Keep up the good work, brother!
I actually watch his videos for the cutaways
Agreed! These cutaway are perfect!
"Call me key I'm surrounded by peel" this is the tortured poet taylor swift was talking about
we love key and peele
@@yeahno1796 PREACH đđđ
I'm better than Kurtis cry about it.
Seriously tho
LMAO
" Now I may not be a monkey genetically, homo-sapiens, technically" holy sweet balls of fire that was lit as hell
sweet balls of fire??? đđđ
Erm technically Homo sapiens ARE monkeys because they are in the infraorder Simiiformes and are thus in the clade of monkeys. đ€
Humans are also technically fish, but that's a different discussion.
@@rushdude90
Apes!
Not monkeys! Not monkeys at all :)
@@rushdude90bees are also fish
@@rushdude90 wait its all fish??????????
The fact that they're friends makes me so happy actually
Therapist: Long haired kurtis isnt real he cant hurt you
long haired kurtis:
Beatboxing puppy
So real
Thats cool as hell
YO??
me!!
huh
ngl 1500 euro for an excursion like that is pretty reasonable. like, so many influencers charge 10k to breathe their air for that many days, really feels like this guys actually really enjoys what he's doing and wants to share it
Didn't ask. My content is far superior and has more value than anything this youtuber has ever produced so get over it
i know right, hes really not out here trying to make money, hes just teaching his philosophy and getting people healthier
If you donât understand thatâs 1500 usd
â@@VintageSpudthey know that
@@Cowboywill_ nah I mean new people who see this and wonder
"she do the walk of shame in her knuckles" NOOO THE WRITING IS CRAZY
âCall me key Iâm surrounded by peelâ goes SO unironically hard
"reject modernity embrace monke" we all chant in unison
Didn't ask. My content is far superior and has more value than anything this youtuber has ever produced so get over it.
â@@ville__Didn't ask. m o n k e b e s t
didnt ask females
@@ville__cope sneed
@@ville__ "females" spot the virgin easy edition
THE "call me key im surrounded by peele" IS SUCH A FIRE BAR OMG
Someone pls explain đ
@@h.t.8812 Keegan-Michael *Key* and Jordan *Peele* are very good friends and co-created, starred in, and wrote a show together. heâs saying heâs the amount of time he spends around banana peels is similar to Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peeleâs close friendship, i think.
Key and PeeleâŠ
@@h.t.8812 its the two funny guy called key & peele
@@kirttnabala2385I love âfunny guyâ to mean comedian
lost the opportunity to say âtheyâre going absolutely apesh*t â instead of monkey modeđđ
Serious thing that I even do, is a sport called quadrobics. It's where your on all fours, working out your full body. I find it helpful for me since it helps me get alot of exercise in, and it feels good for my joints.
AHHHH fellow quadrobist >:3
YES!!!
how did you get started? would really like to get into it
I also do quads :3
I love quadrobics, it feels good for the soul
Met Kurtis once in public. He threw a water bottle at my head and called me ugly. Absolutely bananas đ„°
Was it Kurtis Kurtis or Country Kurtis ? There's a big difference
Maybe he confused you for a trash can đ„±
are you sure it wasnât Daniel Gorgonzola
@@ThatOneDuckMatt aren't they the same person?
At least it wasn't shit
âWipe your ass with itâ was IMMEDIATELY interrupted by a charmin ad⊠the algorithm is getting stronger
I got the exact same ad at the exact same time đ
anti monke propaganda
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it.
@@ville__rage baiter? đ«ąđž
đ€«đ§
*insert drew gooden charmin bears rant*
Cutaway sketches that go on for way too long and get really unhinged are the best part of your videos Kurt
dude as a dog therian, this shit fucks. like, sure they're probably not therians themselves, but seeing people embrace that inner animal in a way that makes them happy is so cool. I love their commitment to this life, and I love that, unlike many other fitness influencers, they're not really selling you any bullshit supplement or a diet that makes no sense, they're literally just monkeying around. they're literally just having fun in a way that benefits their health. it's so cool. I love it. It's so goofy and silly in the best way possible. ALSO MAN THAT DISS TRACK?????? HELLO???? IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY I'M GONNA THROW MY SHIT AT SOMEONE
I used to hate on therians but Iâve realized like 90% of yâall are chill as hell. I wanna be a nocturnal beast or a forest creature or maybe just a really angry sheep. Glad you like dogs đ¶ đ
Iâm a therian too and i agree!!! Itâs great to see people more comfortable in doing things like that!
Who the hell is complaining that the sketches go on for too long? That's my favorite thing about these kind of commentary channels.
Same!
100% agreed, I always love the sketches!!
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
@@ville__i'm going to touch you.
@@ville__Get a life, clout chaser hater
honestly i cant even dunk on this guy. hes staying active and having fun. as grownups we should all be so lucky to be so comfortable in our own bodies. i wish stuff like that wasn't considered "weird"
yeah itâs honestly pretty cool. like i had so much fun running around outdoors pretending to be in a warriors cat clan with my friends as a kid, parkouring through the forest acting like a monkey sounds dope and thereâs no reason you shouldnât be able to have fun and stay active like that just because youâre an adult.
Youâre tripping
His values are literally playing outside and respecting nature. Good for him. If he actually lives by that, Iâd imagine that makes for a pretty happy life.
â@@JayJayShawtyBae How is he tripping when he's on his feet and knuckles??? đŠ
but if he was a therian or a furry.. SOCIETYYYY đșđčđčđč
On the topic of he/his, I think "primal parkour" (almost more than normal parkour just by looking at his videos here) falls under the category of "this is why women live longer."
BRO!! If Kurtis did a video on the MOST VALUABLE PRIMATE series I would likely past out from excitement. Those movies were so awesome as a kid!! đ±đ±
Curtain may nit be pregnant but he always delivers
Curtain đ
Curtain clobber
Nah, no need to retry that one
reminder that Dave Strider is infact, pregnant. And with his best friend
Please don't correct the spelling
I thought the skits were crazy then I saw the Tarzan diss track đ 18:06
it wasz SO GOOOD
@@pvic6959 ITS ON SPOTIFY
the way you casually drop a song for a video is crazy youâre amazing
Yesterday I watched an 8 year old documentary about a family in Turkey, the Ulan family. The parents have 17 children, and 6 of them were born with their cerebellum drastically shrunken compared to an average brain. These 6 people, ranging from 18 to late 30âs, walk on all fours. 4 of them had never stood on only 2 legs. The other 2 had walked on two legs, but walking on their hands was just easier for them.
Also they didnât walk on their knuckles like chimps or gorillas, they would walk on the heels of their hand, fingers typically up to avoid scraping them.
This English guy came to make the documentary because he, and other anthropologists around the world, believed they were âthe missing linkâ between our ancestors who who came down from the trees, and the ancestors who stood up on two legs.
I was so fucking mad all throughout this documentary because words like âdevolvedâ âanimalsâ and âape-likeâ were being used to describe the *human beings!*
And what did they finally realize?
Because they had been born with a mental handicap, and started crawling as babies, they actually never properly progressed to the standing and walking phase. And because they were a poor family in rural Turkey, they didnât have access to pediatricians, who wouldâve immediately seen what was going on, given them physical therapy, and within maybe a year theyâd have been standing normallyđ€Šđ»
So this guy then decides to call up a physical therapist, bought them all a simple walker, and helped pay for a pair of metal bars to be installed outside for all of them to practice bipedal walking on. Few months later, he comes back, and theyâve *drastically* changed.
All that shit about âoh theyâre a devolution of us. Theyâre like animals!â was bullshit.
I canât believe i watched that yesterday and now this đ
these guys are the only definition of âboys will be boysâ that i will accept
forreal
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
I actually love when your sketches completely deviate from the original joke, you never know what to expect
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
.
same it's the best part
@@endeavor1664 didnt ask
â@@ville__ absolutely most cringy person on earty
@@ville__ Shut up bro
cut-away sketches that go on a little bit too long is like a defining element of this niche of the genre. like drew gooden? danny gonzolaz? they all have those like thats the main thing ive noticed about that sort of sphere
It's not that his bits go on too long, it's that they slowly get more and more chaotic to the point you forgot what the bit was đ
i went to a kurtis conner show once and he KICKED me in the BALLS! i donât even have them but he kicked them anyway. cannot believe people still support this guy!
i have them
â@@simplyymase4005 you have that person's balls?
â@@ville__ someone's jealous because they didnt get their balls kicked đźđź
@@StarThePony191i think itâs just a bot
â@@ville__your still funny dude. Legit so funny you think that we care
If monkeys could read, they would literally never stop reading. Reading is criminally underrated, not to sound like a book-nerd, but it's just kind of whack that you can literally talk to people in the future and basically beam images and concepts into their heads.
Reading sux
@@user-ds1zs8bs4s yo mama
@@user-ds1zs8bs4sjust say you canât and move on
@@user-ds1zs8bs4s ok illiterate
@@user-ds1zs8bs4syou got ratiod by the nerds
I know a guy who tried going barefoot for the âbenefitsâ and on day one, he stepped on broken glass. At least he clowns on himself for it lmao
refreshing to see strange influencers online and not have the experience be like gazing into an abyss of depravity. these two seem pretty harmless
Neurology student here! They are a dramatic example, but itâs actually a researched idea called the âmismatch hypothesisâ. Basically saying mental health today is so terrible because our brains havenât evolved to match our modern environment. Because of that, mental illness has skyrocketed since industrialization. Technically our brains are still made for much less than what weâre doing, we cannot mentally catch up to our physical evolution.
So you're saying.... Go monkey... Instead of go therapy....
that's really interesting and makes so much sense đ
Iâve thought abt this a lot since I heard someone present this theory. Our society has evolved around us much faster than our own selves
Omg i just learned that a month ago!!! thx for spreading the word!
So basically "The industrial revolution has had disastrous consequences for the race"
Usually I dislike fitness influencers. But this guy is just doing what he likes, not forcing anyone into crazy diets, he likes nature, he gives back to nature, raises awareness...
Y'know, the way all influencers should be. Doing what they like while encouraging people to try it out, not scaring them into it.
He do be a chill monke
Yeah he legit seems cool as hell lol
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
.
Fr
A Monkie king, one might say *winks to all Journey to the West fans*
I live in Kansas City, and the only Tarzan I know is Tarzan the law man. He's some lawyer with long blonde hair, and he has billboards all over the city with him looking like Tarzan fighting giant animals and they have dumb slogans that are animal based puns. Pretty great, actually.
KURTIS LOOK UP PROFESSIONAL PILLOW FIGHTING YOUR WELCOME
As silly as these guys might seem, at least they're (essentially) promoting a healthier lifestyle and being respectful and cool about it! They're doing something they enjoy and being chill dudes about it, so props to them!
Didn't ask. My content is far superior and has more value than anything this youtuber has ever produced so get over it
Compared to a lot of toxic fitness/gym bros out there, these guys, although in a kinda strange way, just seem to want to exercise and enjoy nature
Looks pretty fun honestly!
â@@ville__ lmao damn , insecure much
theyâre just a bot who comments under every video ever just trolling everyone and itâs been an ongoing thing so just ignore and/or report them if you see them. so annoying
he really just dropped the hardest monkeying around diss track and thought we wouldnât notice
bro i canât believe that is kurtis.. why has he been hiding this talent
On that Monkey Business
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it.
I like how happy the people on the retreat were to be climbing the trees, and the fact that the two Tarzans are both friends! thatâs so cute :)
"Die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain" goes insanely hard
"Call me Key, I'm surrounded by Peel" must be the best line in any track about monkeys I've ever heard.
This is also the first track I've heard about monkeys.
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
đ
my fav bar fr, i love key and peele AND kurtis
what does this actually reference? is it a pop culture thing lol
@@saturnsextilevenus Oh Key and Peele are a genius comedy duo, Peele is also the director of movies you've certainly heard about the last few years, like "get out" and "us"
Watch some highlight clips from them, totally worth it
âCall me Key Iâm surrounded by Peelâ Kurtis is unironically a super good lyricist
Some might even say he's very really good
I didn't get that part
â@@eartheclipse8it's a reference to Key and Peele,a comedy sketch duo. You can find some clips on youtube.
@@eartheclipse8hes referencing that comedy duo key and peele infamous for their skits
Yessss! His lyrics for the Pinocchio diss track are unironically fire!
âim swimgin on vine all day, jane said you last 6 secondsâ im screaming like monkey at these baes omfg
seeing this makes me more sure about picking the bear in the man vs bear debate lmao. imagine you're hiking and see a guy crawling toward you at full speed. no THANK YOU
Honestly the cutaway sketches are one of the funniest things ever, my friends and I reference a bunch of them often, please don't ever get rid of them
Same here! Me and my sisters do it a lot, it's a shame he hasn't been doing it as much as back then
THE TOE SUCKER 2
TROUBLE IS A FOOT
"TROUBLE IS A FOOT" has me cackling
Dude that song went so hard no joke đ
you know kurtis is a great youtuber because his transitions to ads are always so good. such a weird flex but its solid af
"I'm swinging on vines, Jane said you last 6 seconds"
Is literally a genius line
I haven't thought about Vine in a while
This comment made me realize the depth of the line. I went "oooohhhhh" to myself in my dark bedroom, lol. Thank you
âiâm swinging on vines, jane said you last 6 secondsâ i had to run that back it was too smoothđđ
9:50 the gympanzee should also have monkey bars.. duh!!
THE MONKEY DISS TRACK IS THE SINGLE GREATEST THING YOUVE EVER MADE KURTIS IM OBSESSED
That diss track went so hard my ass cheeks immediately clenched đąđ
REAL
Right, clecnehd. Me too. Definitely didn't completely relax or anything cuzz that'd be super weird
Real, it was INTENSE
reject modernity embrace monke" we all chant in unison
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
get an original comment
Stolen comment
first of all who cares about if a comment is stolen, this isn't a nobel prize winner or whatever. Secondly, monke is still too modern we simply must return to *f i s h*
I love when your skits/sketches go off the rails, you do a great job of bringing back the main video anyway. Keep them! They're funny.
"you'll live to regret it, like what, dhar mann" goes so hard
Monke
Monke
Monke
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
Monke
I think the long bits are what make them great. They don't conclude where you'd expect, makes it more funny.
It's like Family Guy, but actually stays on topic
This was a lot more wholesome than I was expecting lol
Iâm an anthropology major/ archaeologist. Looks like âModern Day Tarzanâ will be my Masters thesis. Sorry Dr. Surovell, your gonna have to read more papers about monkeys instead of hominids.
Growing up in a forested area, I never wore shoes and it was honestly incredible. I could walk on sticks and rocks and my feet never hurt because they built up callouses. Being able to really feel the earth below you is really special so I don't think this guy is weird for expressing that to others. That being said, after a few years of wearing shoes my callouses went away and it would hurt to walk around the forest barefoot. I honestly miss it all the time.
Barefoot shoes! I like Wildling and Vibram because they have the best groundfeel, most flexible sole. Might need to ease into them but they're so so good, walking around feels exciting and interesting like it used to running around barefoot as a kid.
I worked at a kayak job for 4 years and the same thing happened, it's so nice to be able to walk anywhere haha
How could you feel the earth below your feet if you have huge callouses that block the sensation of rocks and sticks
â@@efnfenif u play guitar u can still feel the string is there through ur callous
@@Jack-px8lf why would you want to play guitar with your callous feet
4:22 you said âplaying outside all year round while bare-chested *and* bare-chestedâ like they were different words and it driving me crazy
This was bothering me too omg I think itâs meant to be âand bare footâ but Kurtis didnât say anything so I was like am I missing something here
i think its meant as "bare-chested (actually bare-chested) and bare-chested (as in vulnerable & embarrassing because it might be humiliating and scary to do at first)" but it could also be a mistake and the second time might be meant as barefoot
I was thinking the other one could be bear-chested? As in, HAIRY?
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
He says it twice to emphasise he wants to see both boobs đ
"MVP 2: most vertical primate" was a crazy movie. doesn't have much to do with this video but I feel like it's important
We need the MVP trilogy video now.
Personal trainer here, crawling movements are legitimately an incredible exercise due to the mobility required in the legs, hips, and spine, and the load it places on the arms (bodies are heavy and arms rarely move that kind of weight). Also really good for our brains to perform contralateral movements. When my clients are able, I incorporate crawls as often as their ego will let me đ
Time to incorporate crawling into my goblin time (real ones will be having that)
â@@Frindle_Babbinsame my goblin time needs this
yeah and that apple throwing thing was also a great exercise for both body and mind/attention training
i love this new era of commentary content where we just find interesting people and talk about them. no hate. good vibes. happy
im better than kurtis conner cry about it, atleast i put actual effort into my vids
SAME!! i love this genre of commentary. variety is the spice of life
itâs literally always been like thisđđ
@@ville__ good god you're pathetic.
Kurtis and similar creator nevee have insulted the people involved, literally nothing has changed what r u on
Kurtis never misses with his rap tracks. Like he's giving us actual bars bro
He made an entire video just to release a Tarzan distrack
We need kurtis conner "i lived like a monkey influencer for a week"
honestly, running on all fours pretending i was a cheetah, or climbing anything i could and being nicknamed spider monkey was one of the best parts of my childhood. it was so much fun and i genuinely enjoyed being able to connect with nature like that. also that tarzan diss track was actually fire đ„
the spider monkey part brought back horrible childhood memories of twilight
@shrikessthats an awesome thing to be known for
THAT TARZAN DISS TRACK WAS SO FIRE??? IM DYING LAUGHIGJB I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT TO GO SO HARD OML IM IN SHOCKđđđ
Why has it taken me years to find you Kurtis, this has so many freak references I know, perfect man. Unreal
No honestly when I started watching Kurtis, one of the main appeals to me was how his sketches always go on a little longer than they really need to. Gives the video a little extra charm.
I love his sketches
Me too đ
I'm better than Kurtis Conner so cry about it
it's an extra layer of comedy that the sketches go on just a few beats too long, it's hilarious, keep em
Kurtis has the kind of mustache that says "yeah, I've used the mirror on the ceiling to snort coke"
You literally need to drop the diss track onto spotify that was literally fire ngl.
can we all take a moment to appreciate kurtis? hes almost 200 years old, and still producing quality content for us :)
im tired of people saying this delete your comment lil bro
@@georgehasnofriendz be nice to them. Itâs the law.
â@@georgehasnofriendz we got a meanie head over here
@@georgehasnofriendz womp womp let people make a joke
@@SacredSilly uh uh, the law says be nice to KURTIS. Not whoever this NPC ahh commenter is. Loophole!!
âthis a certified banger mr mayor!â we all say in unison
The rap at the end had a very Rhett and Link vibe, please never stop making them lol
Kurtis I cannot explain the feeling of pure ecstasy when your dis track began playing
staying up until 4am was worth it
AWSTEN KNIGHT PFP SLAYYY
What country are you in? Probably not North America, right?
It's 11:30 pm at where I live so good for me I guess
Haha foreigner đ«”
Its 2pm for me and my friend watching this in art class rn
Honestly, this is probably one of the best things you can do for your body, balance, flexibility, a full body work out. Thereâs a dude on tik tok that worked on walking around on all fours and he got jacked
That DB Cooper joke was so funny i was legit in tears
I like when the skit is right before the ad, makes it easy to skip them both
Kurtis' green screen sketches are like putting on the One Ring; he's slowly going mad but the power is intoxicating.
I can't even hate. The look so happy.
Kurtis, you have to fucking do it.
And don't you dare getting rid of the sketches or making them shorter. They are art
Connor your skits aren't too long they're beautiful pieces of art â€
i love your cutaway sketches. whoever said they go on too long is wrong. please don't stop
Bro that book is so reasonably priced!! Good for these guys. The fact that they're monke besties makes me so happy
âCALL ME KEY IM SURROUNDED BY PEEL â ???? Absolute fire. Loved the video and the song is so good like omg
Not Kurtis doing his outro like usual as if he didnât just drop a bomb ass dis track 2 seconds ago đ„
BRO PUT THAT SONG ON SPOTIFY!!!!!